23. What is more important: prayer or grace? .......
22. What is the relationship between prayer and conversion?
Before conversion: man is without God. Augustine says such a man is lost in the deep, "for our depths is this mortal life. Whoever knows himself to be in the depths cries out with groans and sighs until he is delivered from the depths, and comes to him whose seat is above all ... until his own image, that image which is man, who in these depths has been thrown about by constant waves and worn away by them, is freed by God. And unless he is made anew and aright by God, who impressed (that image) on him when he formed man, he will remain in the depths. Although man is equal to his own fall, he is not equal to the task of his own rising. Unless he is freed, he remains in the depths. But once he cries out from the depths, he rises because his very cry will not suffer him to be at the bottom for long."66
Context of the conversion. In that condition of self-knowledge and recognition of his own sinfulness and helplessness when left to himself, and "in order that men might not live even worse off through despair, God promised a safe harbor of forgiveness. Further, that they might not live the worse from hope of pardon, God made man's date with death uncertain - thus establishing both most providentially, as a refuge for his return and a terror to his vacillation.""
Three conversions through trial. Each trial is overcome by prayer - "crying out to the Lord." Once man "is roused to seek the grace of God, and to become anxious, and to awaken from his slumber - is it not God's hand that arouses him? Nonetheless, he does not know that it was God who awakened him; yet more and more he begins to belong to God now that he has come to know and believe the Truth. But before that can occur, he must grieve over his error. Because, finding himself in error, he longs for the Truth, knocking where he may, trying out what he can, sensing a hungering for the Truth. This first trial is one of wandering and hunger. Once he has had enough of this trial and is brought to call out to God, he takes to the way of faith, that path whose journey will bring him to the city of Peace. For it is Christ who leads him, Christ who said, I am the Way (John 14:6).
"When he has taken to the path, he grows weary, for he knows how he should live, but at times, having attributed too much to himself, presumptuous of his strength, he attempts to fight against his sins, but in his pride it just gets worse. He is bound by desire, whose bonds impede his walking on the way. He is a prisoner of vice ... unable to escape. He knows how he ought to live ... unlike before, but how to accomplish this is beyond him. He is in shackles and cries to the Lord. The second trial is that of how to do good, whereas the first was that of wandering and hunger. In his crying to the Lord, he is heard and the Lord breaks his chains of difficulty, and establishes him in acting righteously. What had previously been difficult is now made easy for him. To abstain from every sort of sin has not become easy. God could have granted this without difficulties, but if there were no difficulties, we would not appreciate the Giver of this good gift. For if man at first did not feel the weight of desire's chains whenever he wished, and his soul were not wounded by the weight of its chains, he would think to attribute what he was now able to do to his own strength, never confessing the mercies of the Lord.
"After those two trials, man is overcome by a third trial ... Having been freed from every sort of sin with the help of the Holy Spirit, so that wishing not to be an adulterer, he is not; wishing not to be a thief, he is not, etc., such a man is met with a third trial. This trial is a sort of lethargy one feels at the length of his life, finding no enjoyment in prayer or reading. Contrary to the first trial, which was a hungering, this trial is distaste for food. What is the origin of this trial but a certain apathy of spirit? Adultery no longer attracts you, but neither does the word of God delight you. Now, after the danger of ignorance and concupiscence, from which you rejoice at having escaped, be on guard that this inertia and disgust do not overtake you. This is no small trial either. Cry out to the Lord that he may free you of these circumstances, and once freed from this trial, confess his mercies to him."68
Counsels for the converted. To have gone through conversion, it is clear that things cannot remain the same. But the Christian on the way of faith encounters many who do not take his same path, for he is still in the world he left. "[F]or living among things human, we cannot withdraw from things human. We must live among evil men with forbearance, because when we used to be evil men, the good men lived with forbearance among us. If we do not forget what we have been, we will not despair of those who are now what we once were."69
As prayer accompanied the three conversions, it should also take the form of gratitude for God's mercy as well as intercession for those lagging behind on the way or who have not taken to it yet.