1. A Starting Guide to Prayer
Like many other electronic devices nowadays, phones often come with a "quick start guide" that you can read in order to use your phone right away – before you read the whole instruction manual that you also receive. You will certainly need the full, detailed instructions if you are going to use all the features of your phone effectively, but at first a quick start guide will give you the basic information you need to know. There are certain – almost parallel – things we can also say regarding getting started in prayer. Connection Options When you purchase a new phone you have two primary options: land-line telephones for "heavy duty" home or office use and, of course, smaller mobile phones for use wherever you may be. We have a similar dual option for communicating in prayer – extended prayer in full conversations with God from the privacy of our homes (Matthew 6:6) and shorter, spontaneous prayers offered from wherever we may find ourselves (1 Timothy 2:8). As we will see, "deeper" prayer and spontaneous prayer are both necessary options for our fullest communication with God. When: The Anytime Prayer Plan Just like the phone plans we might purchase that allow us to make calls at any time, our options for prayer are unbounded with the "anytime prayer plan" God graciously gives us. The wonder of prayer is that we can communicate our thoughts, needs, and deepest feelings at any time of day and night. Of course, some times of day work best for extended personal prayer when we can focus and fully develop our conversation with God.
In the Old Testament we find that the ancient Israelites offered sacrifices three times a day – in the morning, at noon, and in the early evening – and the people of God often prayed specifically at those times (Psalm 55:17, Daniel 6:10, etc.). We also find prayer mentioned in the New Testament at exactly these three times (Acts 2:15; 10:9; 10:1-3). However, as Christians we are not commanded to follow this pattern. While it may be helpful if we are able to do so, for many in our modern world who have jobs where prayer in the middle of the day is difficult, in-depth prayer twice each day – in the morning and evening – is often more feasible.
It is interesting that we can see this pattern of morning and evening prayer in the life of Jesus himself. The Gospels make it clear that Jesus offered prayers frequently and at many times in the day, but the only instances where the time of day is mentioned regarding his extended prayers are in the early morning and evening (Mark 1:35, Matthew 14:23).
This pattern can work well for us, too. If we use the opportunity for full prayer early each day, before the chores and cares of the day take our attention, we will be more likely to offer brief prayers as we go about our jobs and other daytime activities.
Prayer in the evening – especially before we get tired – is just as important in terms of our relationship with God. While we may find we concentrate more on the needs of others and ourselves in our morning prayers, evening conversations with God often have greater stress on asking for forgiveness, discussion of lessons learned and, of course, thanksgiving. If prayer regularly unlocks the beginning of our day and seals it at its end, we are beginning to use it successfully.
We will talk more about shorter spontaneous prayers at other times of day a little later. Where: Universal Coverage You have doubtless seen the coverage maps many phone service providers use to show the areas where their service works. Some offer impressive coverage with very few "dead" areas. Prayer, of course, comes with no coverage maps, as there are no areas where God cannot hear us. David reminds us of this fact when he says in the Psalms: "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?" (Psalm 139:7).
But at the practical level, the question of where we pray usually means where in our homes or elsewhere we choose to pray. For regular personal prayer, Jesus set the example in saying "… when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you" (Matthew 6:6). The Greek word that is used in this verse for "room" (tameion) can mean a storeroom, closet, inner room, or any other room where you can be alone. What matters for our in-depth contact with God is that we find a place to pray that is private, preferably quiet, and without other distractions.
This principle can be applied just as well outside our homes as within them. The Gospels tell us, for example, that "… Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray …" (Luke 6:12, etc.).
But Jesus also offered up short prayers in many other places – in a banquet room and a sickroom, inside houses and outside them, as well as on the road and even on boats and outside tombs. We too can pray anywhere, alone or with others, though as he showed us, our main prayers should be in private where we can focus entirely on God and the conversation we desire to have with him. How Long: Unlimited Prayer Minutes How long we pray is primarily a matter of balance. On the one hand we have the incredible opportunity to speak with God for as long as we wish. Human rulers grant "audiences" for only short periods of time, and the fact that the Ruler of the universe grants us unlimited audience is a gift which we only fully come to appreciate as we grow in our relationship with God and find that we desire to spend more and more time in his company. Invariably, the more we pray, the more we want to pray.
On the other hand – and this is where balance comes in – both new and established Christians sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that we should always pray for a certain amount of time each day. If half an hour of prayer seems good, then perhaps an hour is more righteous, and two hours even more so. The truth is that prayer should never be measured in time but – as we will see – in fervency and focus. It is one thing to set aside a period of time to pray, but it is another to try to artificially fill that time.
Imagine how your friends would react if you called them every day and just kept talking for an hour until you had fulfilled your time, rather than having a real conversation which ended naturally. Real and effective prayer does not need to be long. Martin Luther wrote that "The fewer the words, the better the prayer." It is known that Luther prayed devoutly, sometimes for long periods of time, but he realized that the effectiveness of a prayer is not based on its length.
The Old Testament also gives a wonderful example of this fact. The Book of Kings tells the story of how the Prophet Elijah challenged the prophets of the pagan god Baal to a contest to prove whether his God or their god should be followed. The account tells us that Baal's prophets prayed feverishly for some six hours – from early morning till the time of the afternoon sacrifice – with no result. At that point Elijah prayed to God with a short but fervent prayer of only 35 words (somewhat more in English translation) which would take only a minute to utter, but which was answered immediately and in a spectacular manner (1 Kings 18:18-40).
Jesus himself provides the perfect example of how long prayer in public need be. We know the Son of God prayed privately for extended lengths of time (Luke 6:12, etc.), but all his public prayers recorded in the Gospels are short, and most are no more than a few words long. In fact, as we will see, Jesus specifically cautioned his disciples against praying with "many words" (Matthew 6:7).
The lesson is clear – long prayers are not more likely to be heard than short ones, and if our prayers are artificially drawn out, they are likely to be less effective. There may certainly be times when we wish to seek God in protracted prayer, but in our normal day to day lives it is often a far more effective way to keep close to God if we pray deeply each morning and evening and offer short but frequent spontaneous mental prayers in the hours between. Even if they are prayers of only a few seconds duration, those "in between" prayers are what enable us to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:16) and to live in an attitude of prayer. Prayer Positions: Body, Hands and Eyes Just as you can use your phone in any position, so it is possible to pray in any position – standing (1 Kings 8:22), sitting (2 Samuel 7:18), kneeling (1 Kings 8:54), or lying down (Matthew 26:39). But the Bible does make it clear that the normal position for indepth private prayer is that of kneeling (Luke 22:40-41, Ephesians 3:14, etc.). This posture is one of humility that shows our submission and respect before God, which is why we should utilize it in private prayer when possible. On the other hand, those who are ill or disabled in some way that makes kneeling painful or impossible should never be concerned about this. God looks on the heart, of course, which is where our respect for him really lies.
Our heads may be bowed in prayer (Genesis 24:26), lifted up as if toward God (John 17:1), or at any other angle. So, too, the hands may be uplifted in prayer (1 Kings 8:22) or held in any other way. Praying with the hands clasped or held in a certain way is simply a culturally learned tradition which we should not confuse with what is "right" or acceptable to God. Numerous instances of prayer in the Bible do show individuals praying with hands outstretched toward the heavens (Psalm 28:2, etc.), but again, it is how we extend our hearts in prayer, not how we hold our hands, that matters.
In the same way, when we think of prayer we may think of closing our eyes, but this is not necessary or even biblical. We can certainly pray with our eyes closed just as well as with them open, but the reverse is also just as true. In some parts of the world, where Christianity is outlawed and punishable by severe penalties, believers routinely pray with their eyes open to avoid unnecessary arrest and punishment.
The Bible also shows that praying with open eyes was probably the norm in biblical times. On two occasions when Jesus prayed to the Father, we are told that he looked up to heaven. In the first instance he was giving thanks: "Then Jesus looked up and said, 'Father, I thank you that you have heard me'" (John 11:41), and in the second he was making a request: "After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed …" (John 17:1). In fact, the only other time a praying person's eyes are mentioned in the New Testament is in the story of the repentant tax collector who was so distraught that when he prayed "… He would not even look up to heaven" (Luke 18:13), indicating that looking up to heaven would have been the normal way to pray.
Sometimes we may wish to close our eyes in order to not be distracted by things happening around us, but it is fine if we prefer to keep our eyes open, for example, to see that for which we are giving thanks or just to feel a closer connection with the One who is "near to all who call on him" (Psalm 145:18). Troubleshooting A frustration experienced by all of us at times is finding that our mind may wander as we pray. Some people have more of a problem with this than others, but the cause need not be one of lack of dedication – usually it is a function of praying silently in our minds. Silent prayer in our thoughts works well for short prayers, but the normal process of association that occurs within the mind can easily send our thoughts off on tangents. The answer is simply to make our praying as much like real conversation as possible. It is hard for our thoughts to wander when we are in the process of actually speaking with someone, and it is so in prayer. If we are praying privately but in an area with others close by, we do not need to audibly speak the words, we can just form them silently on our lips (1 Samuel 1:13). This kind of "silent speaking" will solve the problem of wandering thoughts 99% of the time! Warnings Finally, any phone you might purchase will come with a few printed warnings or cautions – reminding you at the very least not to do anything with the phone that might hurt or injure you in some way. The privilege of prayer comes with a few warnings, too. Before giving his disciples the Lord's Prayer (which we will see could be called the Bible's own "quick start guide" to prayer), Jesus gave some specific warnings that he felt were particularly important. Let's look at them individually: Warning 1: "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full" (Matthew 6:5). Because this warning is given in a specific context (praying on street corners and in religious buildings), it's easy to read over it and not think it applies to us. But the spirit of what Jesus said applies to any time we pray or talk about our prayers primarily to seem righteous to others. God hates this use of prayer for self-righteous purposes, and it is perhaps not surprising that it is the first thing Jesus warned against. Warning 2: "And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words" (Matthew 6:7). This does not mean that we should never repeat statements or requests made to God. Jesus himself used the same words in his fervent prayers in the Garden of Gethsemane on the final night of his life (Matthew 26:39-44).
There are times when we too may say the same or similar things in fervent prayer when we have something very important to say, or just in expressing our thanks or love for God. What is warned against is the "babbling" (NIV), "empty phrases" (ESV), or "vain
[meaningless] repetition" (KJV) that occurs in insincere prayer and which can occur, if we are not careful, when we simply recite memorized prayers or let our prayers drop below the level of a true personal conversation with God. Warning 3: We can add another warning to those given to us by Jesus that centers on our attitude of respect for God. Pastors are sometimes asked "Can I pray while I shave/shower/put on makeup?" These are all examples of failing to really comprehend the level of respect we need to have for the One to whom we pray. Perhaps asking if we would do any of these things while we were granted an audience with a president, king or queen answers the question. We should not confuse the ability to pray in any circumstances with praying without due respect. Prayer should always be made with the focus and respect that a conversation with God deserves (Hebrews 12:28). Keeping these simple instructions and warnings in mind, we can proceed to the exciting task of learning how to use prayer more deeply and richly – to its fullest and most transforming effect.