The Forty-Second Sermon, Which Is the Tenth Upon the Fifth Chapter - Ephesians 5: 31-33
all means to win us and make us walk under His yoke? Moreover, He not only allures us by gentle and loving means, so that we should take courage to serve Him and to do the things that our calling and state require, but also draws us to Him. Even in this world, in the transitory and earthly things, He sets forth the everlasting salvation that is prepared for us in heaven, which was bought so dearly for us by the blood of His only Son, to the intent that, in the end, we should be partakers of the effect and virtue that proceed from it.
And now, let us fall down before the Majesty of our good God, with acknowledgment of our faults, praying Him to vouchsafe to reform our hearts unto goodness, so that we may seek nothing but to serve
Him and to yield ourselves wholly to obeying His holy will. May it please Him, therefore, to bear with us in our weakness, so that we, having received pity and mercy at His hand, may in the end be able to stand up before His face. And so let us all say, Almighty God, heavenly Father, etc.
The Forty-Second Sermon, Which Is the Tenth Upon the Fifth Chapter 31. "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh."
32. "This is a great secret. Yea, say I, in Christ and in the Church."
33. "Therefore, do ye so, as every man may love his wife as himself, and let the wife fear her husband."
God disposes His works in such a way that we have occasion to behold a wonderful wisdom in all His doings, and to receive such instruction by them as may be to our benefit. For example, in what
Saint Paul alludes to here: namely, that the woman was drawn and taken out of the substance of the man. For God could well have created Eve in the same manner that He created Adam, but He chose otherwise, and commanded the woman to be shaped from Adam's rib.
And why was this? It was so there would be such a union between man and wife that the man might think, "This is my flesh, this is my bone," and the woman, "Whence has God given me life? Whence has
He shaped me? Even from a rib that He took out of the man." We see then that God did not without reason use such diversity in creating man and woman. It was to the end that it should be continually remembered in marriage, so the husband may know that he breaks the whole order of nature if he is not united in good agreement with his wife, and the wife likewise if she does not submit herself quietly to her husband, acknowledging him to be her head.
But Saint Paul applies this further to the union between our Lord Jesus Christ and His Church. For (as was declared on Sunday) marriage is a figure of the knitting together that is between us and the Son of God. And therefore, he exclaims, saying, "It is a high mystery," that is to say, a secret which we ought to take great heed of.
"Yea," says he, "in Jesus Christ and in His Church." There are, therefore, two things to be noted here.
The first is that we see how God, even from the beginning, has knit man and wife together in an inseparable bond. The second is that He
intends to lead us yet higher: that is to say, that forasmuch as there is nothing in ourselves but all manner of wretchedness, we should be knit to the Son of God, who is the fountain of all goodness, and from Him draw our spiritual life and have all our strength and power from Him.
And because Saint Paul, having cited this text from Moses, adds that this mystery is great, in that the Son of God has made us bone of His bone and flesh of His flesh, some have imagined it to be a prophecy of what has already been said. But there is no reason nor color of reason why they should think so, and it is evident that the text would be ruined if it were not taken simply as it lies: that is to say, that God intended to warn man and wife of their duty and responsibility. Let that serve for one point.
The Papists have grossly erred in this case and betrayed such ignorance that even little children could mock them for it. Because the word sacrament was an ordinary word in old times to mean secrets, mysteries, and all manner of high things worthy of admiration, the word sacrament was wrongly inserted here. "It is a great sacrament," says Saint Paul, meaning it is a great mystery or secret.
There is no doubt about this, no more than when he says, "It is a great sacrament that God was manifested in the flesh" (1 Timothy
3:16). It is a great sacrament that the Gospel was preached throughout the whole world, and that the wretched Gentiles and unbelievers were united with the offspring of Abraham. So, in this text, the infinite goodness of our God is a "sacrament," that is to say, a high thing and well worthy to be admired by us.
Hereupon, some people have been so foolish as to say, "Then is marriage a sacrament, just like Baptism or the Lord's Supper." And
because they misunderstood the word, they thought there was something to be found here, just as in Baptism, where the water signifies that we are washed by the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.
And in the Supper, the bread and wine are warrants and pledges of His body and blood. They were of the opinion that as much is done in marriage.
Now, when we see that such foolishness has crept throughout the whole world, and that these great doctors needed to relearn their basic lessons because they did not understand even the things that they ought to have judged by their natural reason, we see that there is great vengeance from God upon those who have corrupted true religion and mixed their own fancies into the Word of God.
Therefore, we must thank our God even more for drawing us out of such dungeons.
And seeing there was such horrible confusion in those who claimed to be the lamps and pillars of the Church and were regarded as such, as God so thoroughly dulled their understanding, we should not be afraid to separate ourselves from their company and their synagogue.
And seeing that He has granted us the grace to be no longer mingled with them, let us continue on our course and walk forth soberly. For this is a warning to keep ourselves in awe, that as true scholars of God, we may distrust ourselves and not go searching for complexities, but handle the Holy Scriptures with such reverence that God may guide us to the true understanding of it by His Holy
Spirit.
But now let us come to Saint Paul's intent. It is certain that he alludes to the record of Moses to show that the man should bear with his wife as with a portion of his own body and the one half of his own person. The cause, then, why Eve was shaped from one of Adam's
ribs is that God meant to establish such a concord between man and wife by that means, as there should be no bond in the world so strong as that. The child ought indeed to honor his father, for he is his seed, and he is his blood, but the bond of wedlock is preferred before it.
And by whom? It does not come from men's desires, but according to what Adam had spoken, and as God had pronounced the sentence, so it is an invariable order that man should be knit unto his wife. And in such a way that, if he should need to forsake one or the other, his father should not be so near to him as his wife.
Yet, this is not to say that God meant to break that yoke and to give children leave to be stubborn against their fathers and mothers when they are once married. God does not change any of the things He has ordained. Therefore, a man who has a living father or mother ought still to be subject to them, without ceasing to do his duty, according to what the scripture teaches, and as nature also instructs every man to do. For we have it ingrained in us, and we cannot wipe it out.
Thus, you see that married folk do not cease to always be subject to their fathers and mothers. But here, the case stands upon comparing one with the other. As if one should say, "If a young man should forsake his father and hold him in contempt or disdain, or be stubborn against him, or show him no reverence, would not the world say he was a monster?" Now, if God has commanded in His law that stubborn and disobedient children should be stoned
(Deuteronomy 21:18-21), and that such villainy should be rooted out of the world, what a grievous thing is it when a man forsakes his wife, or a wife her husband? Surely, it is an outrageous crime. Then, if it is intolerable for the child to rise up against his father, no doubt the bond of wedlock is yet much holier and more expressly commended to us by God.
Since this is so, it behooves every man to see that he discharges his duty. For if a woman has a froward disposition, always quarreling, and refuses to be subject to her husband; or if the husband is churlish and cruel, scorning his wife, they are not merely doing wrong to a fellow human being, but to God, who is the author of marriage and has ordained it under such conditions as we hear of here. So, you see what we have to remember upon the first part of this text.
But this extends even further: that is to say, that every man should love those who are connected to him by means of God. As, for example, a man having only his wife is bound to acknowledge that God has united us all together. And when He created Eve, the mother of all men, out of Adam's side, it was for the purpose that the same unity should extend everywhere, and we should know that He wills for us to live in such concord that none of us should separate ourselves from others. No man ought to be so cruel as to say, "Tush, she is not my wife." But we must consider that, since it is our Lord's will that there should be a general concord among all men, and that every man should think himself bound to his neighbors, it is as though mankind were composed of two sorts—male-kind and female-kind. Then, we are all bound to one another.
True it is that matrimony, as I said, is reserved for itself, but still, men are bound toward women to succor them, seeing that our Lord has demonstrated this even in the first creation. And women also must behave themselves soberly among men, even if they are not their husbands.
Also, there is further, that they shall be two in one flesh. Hereby our Lord Jesus Christ shows us that the man who is married ought to hold himself contented with his own wife, and the woman likewise
should rest wholly upon her husband, so as they do not let their lusts roam abroad, nor give themselves the liberty to change anything in the order which our Lord has set and will have to stand in force to the world's end.
Men have so overstepped their bounds in all ages that they have forgotten both kindness and all kindness. They have not only despised God and His Word but also forgotten the condition under which they were created in the world. They did not even know that which natural reason could have shown them. They would not have come to that point if they had not been overcome by their lusts like wild beasts. Surely, there is no such rage as the reigning of inordinate lusts in our flesh when they are not repressed by the fear of God.
From this came the fact that in many countries it was lawful for men to have three or four wives apiece, as it is still permitted today among the Turks. The Jews also, despite having the Law of Moses, would put away their wives for every small occasion that came into their heads. If a woman was not fair enough or rich enough, she was divorced straight away. True, our Lord had provided for it, but only in part. And indeed, our Lord Jesus Christ declared that God had regard for the hard-heartedness of that people, which was past amendment or taming.
Therefore, when any of them wished to put away his wife, he was bound to give her a testimonial stating that she was no harlot but simply did not please him, and he chose rather to sustain that shame than to keep the faith of marriage. For in putting away his wife after pledging his faith to live and die with her, he showed himself forsworn and unfaithful. Thus, it was a reproach to them to put away their wives in such a manner. Yet, for all that, divorces were common. And our Lord Jesus says that in doing so, the Jews were
backsliders from the law of God, and therefore He tells them, "It was not so from the beginning" (Matthew 19:8).
They took that liberty because it was said that a man who did not feel content with his wife should give her leave to depart. But our Lord
Jesus tells them, "It is true that God granted it to your fathers; however, that was because He had to deal with them as with wild beasts." So then, He granted them more than was lawful. But still, know that although He did not punish them with rigor, it was not meant that you should therefore take occasion to do even worse.
Therefore, keep your eyes always on the beginning, when God created Adam and shaped Eve out of his side. He said at that time,
"The two shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
He who takes two wives is worthy to be cut asunder, and he who takes three is worthy to be cut into three pieces, for it is all one as if he would defy God and nature, seeing that God has imprinted a mark in the person of man and wife, to the intent that wedlock should be kept as it ought to be. Wherefore, if a man disannuls the ordinance of God, does he not deserve to be wiped out completely?
The thing we have yet still to bear in mind is that a man must bridle all his senses and not let his eyes wander here and there, lest his mind be carried away when he sees a woman who seems fairer to him than his own wife. And let the wife also not look upon any man but her husband, except with simplicity. Let them always think, "We are but two, yet one flesh. I cannot be a whole person except I am with my husband." And let the husband also on his side think, "I am but half a creature when I am apart from my wife, seeing that God has joined us."
Thus, you see what we have to remember upon this saying, that the two shall be one flesh.
Now, thereupon Saint Paul concludes, "Therefore let the husband love his wife, and let the wife honor or fear her husband." For the word that he uses signifies "to fear," but it is taken here for the reverence and subjection which the wife owes to her husband. Here we must note the difference between the duty of the husband and the duty of the wife. God does not command the husband to fear his wife, but He commands him to love her. There is yet more in the woman: that is to say, she must be subject.
If someone asks, "How then? Does the husband owe no honor to his wife?" It is not possible to love rightly and with a pure heart where there is no reverence. For a man will never love someone he despises.
The world indeed calls it love, but (to speak properly) if I love a wanton person or a jester because he makes me some sport or pleases me, that is not true love. There must be a linking together and an agreement in good manners, so that a man always holds a good estimation and opinion of the one he loves.
The same is true between a man and his wife. When I think to myself, "She is a part of me, she is half of my person," is it possible that I should despise her? The man, then, must honor his wife, yet not by subjection so that he would not always remain in his place as the head and have the governance of his wife. That is why Saint Paul requires nothing from the husband except that he should love his wife.
In another text to the Colossians, he adds that husbands should not be harsh with their wives (Colossians 3:19). For if there is love, surely the one who loves will bear with many faults and infirmities of his friend. And if we do it for one another, how much more should the husband do it towards the one whom he knows to be given to him by God, that he should love her as his own body (Ephesians 5:28).
Therefore, Saint Peter expressly says that men must have discretion and wisdom to help their wives' infirmities by bearing with their frailty (1 Peter 3:7).
If a man takes the notion in his head that his wife is unstable or untrustworthy, or, to be brief, if he despises her under the pretense that she is not a man, it is an improper regard of her. For though she is frail, he must consider that the same is true of himself, and thus bear with her as he would want others to bear with him. This is how we should interpret what Saint Paul speaks of here. He does not mean that a man should be infatuated with foolish love, as often happens.
Last Sunday, I mentioned examples of those who pretend to be passionate about defending their wives' quarrels in public and yet are devils to them at home. So then, the love that Saint Paul speaks of is a proper and good affection that the man bears toward his wife because he knows that God has knit them together as though He had joined them with His own hand and said, "Live you two together in peace and concord."
Again, regarding the wives, because they are often reluctant to bear the yoke that God has laid upon their shoulders, in the other text
Saint Paul reminds them that God is the author of marriage and that He has set down this condition: that the wife should be subject to her husband, accept his leadership as her head, and show him reverence.
For a woman will always find enough in her husband to despise him.
If he has any goodness, she may try to diminish it, finding reasons to ask, "Why should this man have preeminence over me? He is no more capable of ruling than I am." We know how prideful both men and women can be, for everyone thinks themselves more capable than the other.
Wives, therefore, would gladly govern and have the mastery. For that reason, Saint Paul tells them that they must remain in the state that God has placed them in, that is, in subjection. They must not scrutinize their husbands to see if they are worthy of authority and superiority. Instead, they must consider what God has ordained and obey it without complaint or argument. They must not question why this or why that, seeking an excuse to free themselves from obeying
God and His commandments. Therefore, we must listen to Him, and every one of us must receive His commandments without opposition.
This is how we should understand what is said here concerning the fear and subjection that wives owe to their husbands.
This doctrine is clear and straightforward enough on its own. Yet how is it practiced in the world? People would gladly offer excuses of ignorance to avoid performing their duty, saying that this is too high or too difficult to understand. But when it is said that men ought to love their wives, does it require any special interpretation to explain what the Holy Spirit meant? No, the matter is evident enough, and every man knows within himself that he understands it well enough.
Yet, if you look at the love that men have for their wives, you will scarcely find one in a hundred who would not abandon it, and who does not entertain some wandering thoughts in his head. The women also are so fickle that they would gladly be unmarried twenty times in a year. And why does this happen? It is because they do not regard
God, who is the author of marriage.
Truly, even if we had no Scripture at all (as I said), yet the most brutish man in the world would reverence marriage. And why is that? Because it was our Lord's will to leave that record engraved in human hearts. His intention is to show that since even the most ignorant and brutish understand that man and wife should join in
good love in their respective roles, we should pursue that path. Now, we have teaching and exhortations added to spur us forward so that we should not flatter ourselves in our vices. And yet, what are we the better for it?
It is seen daily that men quarrel with their wives and wives argue with their husbands. It is an ordinary matter in every house, and there is constant cursing and bickering. In short, there is nothing but bitterness and contempt. Now, where these things are present, it is impossible for the man and wife to have any access to come before God. For how should our approach to God be, that we might receive mercy and be under His protection, and that He might care for us? It is by prayer.
Now, Saint Peter says expressly, "When a man is oversharp and rigorous to his wife, and the wife also on her side is stubborn, so as he is not able to manage her by any means, nor she willing to submit herself as she ought to do: then their prayers are hindered" (1 Peter
3:7). As if he should say, "Wretched folk, what are you thinking? Are you not very miserable, seeing that the gate is shut against you and you cannot call upon God?" Now then, what will become of us when we cannot entrust ourselves into the hand of our God? It were better for us to be drowned a hundred thousand times.
Seeing then that God loves the quietness of both men and women, commanding us to live in peace and concord, and moreover bids them come unto Him, saying, "When the husband governs his wife quietly, and the wife on her side does her duty too: then if you call upon Me, I will hear you" (Psalm 34:15). Seeing that our Lord calls us to Him for our own benefit and welfare, when He commands us to call upon Him with a pure heart, must it not be that we are possessed
by the devil and have lost all sense if we do not accept such a good and profitable condition?
Therefore, let us mark well that if the husband intends to discharge his duty, and the wife likewise, both of them must keep their eyes on God and acknowledge their marriage as ordained by Him, assuring themselves that they did not meet by chance, but that the Lord joined them together. The husband must recognize his wife as a companion, receiving her as part of himself, and the wife must yield the degree of honor to her husband that belongs to him in respect of God, submitting herself to him as to her head. The best way to listen to God and to obey Him in this case is to regard Him as the author of marriage and to be ruled by Him in all things.
Let not the husband trouble himself too much by focusing on his wife's faults, saying, "What shall I do with this troublesome person?"
For we know that reproaches are grievous and offensive. Likewise, let not the wife look only at the faults in her husband, saying, "He is a devil, and cannot be won by any means," but let her hold to the condition she is bound to and not ask why or how God has put her in subjection. Let her not exalt herself by setting up her pride against God for placing her in subjection to her husband.
Now let us come to the second point and speak more about the great mystery, which Saint Paul magnifies so much here. "This is a great mystery," says he, "Yes, I speak concerning Christ and the Church"
(Ephesians 5:32). By these words, it is easy to discern that Saint Paul did not mean to call marriage or wedlock a sacrament, for he clarifies himself afterward. As I told you already, the only thing treated here is the expression of God's inestimable goodness. Instead of merely teaching how we are united to our Lord Jesus Christ, Saint Paul
himself seems astonished and overwhelmed, confessing that he lacks the words to express God's grace in uniting us to His only Son.
I have already explained how we are members of our Lord Jesus Christ's body, and how we are of His flesh. It is not that we are taken out of His body, for we come from the lineage of Adam. But we live by His own substance, according to the saying, "His flesh is our food, and His blood is our drink" (John 6:55). By this, He means that we live in Him, spiritually.
Indeed, we have a common life to talk and walk with all men, which does not proceed from the special grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Yet, even the natural movements we share with the brute beasts proceed from Him, as it is said, "In Him was life, and the life was the light of men" (John 1:4). Saint John goes even further, saying that "the Word" (which is to say, our Lord Jesus Christ) was given to quicken men, in that God gave them the special privilege of having understanding and discretion (John 1:1-4).
But when the spiritual life we have with the Son of God is spoken of, that is something beyond nature. Though we have no worthiness or excellence when we come out of our mothers' wombs, there remains some imprint and image of God. Yet, we are so cursed in our own nature and so miserable that we are even called dead. That is why our Lord Jesus Christ says, "The hour is coming when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God" (John 5:25). And Saint Paul says in the second chapter of Ephesians, "When we are reformed by our
Lord Jesus Christ, we live, whereas before we were dead in our sins and transgressions" (Ephesians 2:1), because we inherited this from our father Adam.
Therefore, the manner in which we are of Jesus Christ's flesh and bone is that we are grafted into His body, just as Saint Paul also uses
the same analogy of grafting. "Like a branch grafted into a tree receives sustenance from the stock, so we must be grafted into our
Lord Jesus Christ" (Romans 11:17). It is true that we do not yet bring forth good fruit of ourselves, for His purpose here is only to show that just as a branch withers when broken off from the root and left alone, but thrives when grafted into another, so it is with us. That is to say, if we continue as we are by nature, then we are in death, being separated from our Lord Jesus Christ. But if we are incorporated into Him, and it pleases Him to communicate Himself to us, then we truly feel that bread does not nourish us more when we eat it, nor does wine strengthen us better when we drink it, than we receive life and strength by the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Now then, that this is a high mystery, every man is able to judge for himself. When we have debated as much as we can and examined the matter in our hearts, is there any of us that can fully comprehend how we are knit to our Lord Jesus Christ and made one with Him, so that we can assure and guarantee ourselves that we will, by this means, be partakers of God's glory? Can we confidently say that even now, we live in our Lord Jesus Christ, according to His saying, "Be of good cheer, for as I live, so shall you also" (John 14:19)? Can this enter into such a small space as our sensual reason? No, surely not.
And that is why many people cannot accept the idea that we are the flesh of Jesus Christ and bone of His bones, contenting themselves with their own imaginations. This is an abasing of God's grace, which Saint Paul was not able to fully express, but rather showed us that it ought to leave us in awe.
Many may hold a shallow and, as it were, a heathenish imagination that we are somehow connected to our Lord Jesus Christ—namely, that we are saved by His grace. But Scripture goes further. Even if there were nothing more than this statement, "It is a great mystery,"
we should beware of limiting it by our own fancy, for doing so would be like calling Saint Paul a liar. All who despise this spiritual union that we have with our Lord Jesus Christ are essentially denying that there is any such secret or wonder-working power of God, as is spoken of here. The Holy Spirit uses such language to humble us and, afterward, to exalt us again.
Therefore, we must, on the one hand, confess that all the wisdom and wit we possess fail us in this regard. And then, on the other hand, we must rise up again because we hear our Lord Jesus Christ calling us to Himself and telling us that we are so knit to Him that He has nothing of His own that He does not make common to us, nor anything of which He will not have us partake.
So if we have contrary thoughts in ourselves, and it comes into our minds to say, "How is it possible that our Lord Jesus Christ, who is in heaven, should nourish us with His own substance, so that His body is our food, and His blood our drink?" If such thoughts arise, we must counter them with what is said here: that "It is a great mystery." We must rebuke our own foolishness and rashness in attempting to measure what is infinite. Our Lord shows us that when
He has knit us to His only Son, He has performed such a high and profound work that it surpasses all our capacity to understand.
Seeing that this is the case, let us always conclude that although we may find it a strange and incomprehensible matter, we must rest upon what God Himself has spoken—especially when He says that He will work in such a high fashion that we will be utterly astonished at it.
Wherefore let us learn generally from this text, that all the benefits which we receive by the means of our Lord Jesus Christ, to attain the heavenly life, proceed from the same fountain of God's
incomprehensible wisdom. It is not for us to be so foolish and presumptuous as to say, "I will know what it is," or "I will see what pleases me." Let us restrain ourselves from such presumption, for it will make us unworthy of the mystery of faith because it is a matter that involves a great secret. The starting point, if we desire to benefit from Jesus Christ and to partake of all His grace, is to understand that God's work in our salvation is a great mystery or secret, according to the text I previously quoted from the Epistle to Timothy.
"It is a great mystery," says Saint Paul, "that God was manifested in the flesh" (1 Timothy 3:16). For what a great distance is there between God and man? We are but worms and rottenness, and God's majesty is so high that no one can truly comprehend it, nor conceive even a hundredth part of it in thought. We must be in awe and wonder at it. Seeing, then, that God has so closely linked Himself to us—that He is the true Emmanuel, as He is named in Isaiah (Isaiah
7:14)—and that the things which seemed to be so far apart are united in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ, let us conclude that there are only mysteries and secrets in all the grace we receive from God, especially in our being incorporated or grafted into our Lord Jesus
Christ.
He has taken our nature upon Himself, clothed Himself with our flesh, and desires that we be grafted into Him as into our root, to be quickened by His Spirit and to partake of His life, so that He has nothing particular to Himself alone, but wills that all be shared with us. Will we then receive our Lord Jesus Christ with all the benefits
He brings us, and will we, through Him, overcome all the temptations that confront us? We must fully taste and embrace the things that the Holy Scripture tells us and places before us, giving them reverent credit by acknowledging that God works in us through
our Lord Jesus Christ. This acknowledgment should content us and lead us to forsake all our own natural understanding.
Now let us fall down before the Majesty of our good God, with the acknowledgment of our sins, praying Him to vouchsafe to pardon us in such a way that we may be rid of them. May He govern us by His
Holy Spirit, so that we may endeavor to live according to His holy will and reform our whole life according to His holy commandments.
May He bear with all our infirmities until He has wholly reformed us, bringing us to the perfection for which we now strive to attain.
And so, let us all say, "Almighty God," etc.