The Thirty-Ninth Sermon, which is the Seventh upon the Fifth Chapter - Ephesians 5:22-26
so at His hand that they may be made holy unto us, both by faith and thanksgiving.
May it please Him to grant this grace, not only to us but also to all people and nations of the earth. Amen.
The Thirty-Ninth Sermon, which is the Seventh upon the Fifth Chapter 22. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to our Lord.
23. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church, and likewise is he the savior of the body.
24. Therefore, as the Church is subject unto Christ, so also let wives be subject to their husbands in all things.
25. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church, and gave himself for it.
26. To sanctify it, cleansing it in the washing of water through the word.
We have seen heretofore how every one of us is subject to his neighbors and that we cannot otherwise live one with another than by doing some duty as of subjection. And forasmuch as that mislikes us, because every one of us covets to be above his fellows, and we set
so much store by that loftiness, that it is hard for us to stoop: we have seen also that if we fear God, we must not think it strange that we should submit ourselves to our neighbors, for God created us with that condition.
You see then in general, that charity does so bind us one to another, that we ought not to disdain this man, nor to loathe that man, or to count the third man unworthy to have any service done unto him.
For in respect of God, we must either bow down our neck, or else our stubbornness will turn to our downfall.
And now Saint Paul goes further and shows that there are certain degrees among men. For although the foresaid rule stands generally
— that is to say, that every one of us must endeavor to perform his duty—yet, there is also a greater subjection particularly of the son to the father, of the wife to her husband, and of subordinates to their superiors, than there is indifferently among all men.
I have told you before, that there is a brotherhood even between the furthest strangers on the earth because they are all of one common nature, and every man must needs acknowledge himself indebted to another. However, when God has knit folks together in a stricter and holier bond, every man must look more closely to himself. For when a wife is matched to her husband, she is given to him as a help, and she is a part of his body.
Also, there is a special subjection, so that although the husband is superior in authority, that is no hindrance to his being bound to his wife, for she is his companion both to live and die with him.
Likewise, it is with children towards their fathers, and with fathers towards their children, each one in his own role and calling; as subordinates towards their princes and superiors, and servants towards their masters.
You see then that the thing we have to treat of now is that we must generally live in charity with one another, endeavoring to discharge the duty that God binds us to according to our ability. And furthermore, we must not despise the order that God has set among us but rather be provoked so much the more to do our duty, knowing that if we refuse that condition, we make war against God.
And now let us come to marriage, which is not a thing ordained by men. We know that God is the author of it and that it is solemnized in His name, and the Scripture says it is a holy covenant, and therefore it is called divine. Now then, if a wife is stubborn and froward and cannot find in her heart to bear the yoke, although she does wrong to her husband, yet she does more wrong to God. And why? Because it is His will that that bond should be inviolable, and behold, a mortal creature will need to break it and pluck it asunder.
We see then that in so doing, she bends herself against God.
On the other side, when the man will need to rule after his own liking and fancy and despise his wife or use her cruelly and tyrannically, he shows himself to despise God and to defy Him openly. For he ought to know to what end he was created, what the state of wedlock is, and what law God has set in it. The thing, therefore, to which Saint Paul calls us is that in all states we should have regard for God. For as long as our eyes rest upon those with whom we are conversant, surely we shall always find excuses enough, and too many, to exempt ourselves from all law.
The husband may allege, "I have a spiteful and stubborn wife," or else, "She is proud and coy," or has a wicked mind of her own, or else is talkative. Again, another perhaps is a drunkard, another an idle housewife, and another of some other lewd disposition. To be short,
there is not one man who may not have some color if he does not keep the faithfulness and honesty of marriage as becomes him.
The wife also, for her part, shall not be unprovided. For now and then her husband may happen to be testy and riotous, and have small regard for what God has called them to. Some are ill husbands and hunters of taverns (and ale houses), or else play the unthrift in gaming and light behavior. Some are whoremongers, some gluttons, and some drunkards. And so every woman might pretend some excuse to exempt herself from her duty.
But when we come to God, we must be fain to cast our heads in our bosom, for it will not profit us to stand checking against Him.
Although the men misbehave themselves on the one side and the women on the other, yet will God not have the marriage broken or dissolved thereby, saving the divorce (I mean) which our Lord Jesus declares. But the other vices that are in a husband must not impeach the wife's subjection and obedience unto him. Again, though the wife be not found to be as she ought to be, yet the husband may not shake her off and rid his hands of her, whatever shift he alleges; but God's ordinance must always stand firm, and the bond which we have by His word must be inviolable. This is the thing that we have to remember upon that sentence.
The world sees how ill this lesson is put into practice, but we must consider that the root of the mischief is that in marriage few or none have an eye unto God. Indeed, God's name shall run roundly enough, and even the wickedest could find in their hearts that He should bless them and make them prosper; but that in their marrying, they put themselves into His hand and guiding, and call upon Him unfaintedly: that is no part of their meaning. Some seek wealth and gain, and others seek pleasure and voluptuousness. In like case is it
with the women. And no marvel though the end be out of all order when the beginning was so out of square. For God must needs be avenged on His part when He is so lightly esteemed and despised.
Therefore, let us learn to mark well this lesson of Saint Paul, that just as marriage was ordained of God, so those who are to enter into it must betake themselves wholly unto Him, and make Him their refuge, knowing that it is He who binds the man and the wife to one another, and who knits them together, and therefore that either of them look to their own duty.
Whereas he says concerning wives that they owe subjection to their husbands, we have to mark that this subjection is double. For man was already the head of the woman even before the sin and fall of Eve and Adam (1 Timothy 2:13-14). Saint Paul, alleging the same reason to show that it is not meet that the wife should reign in equal degree with her husband, says that the man came not of the woman, but the woman of the man, and that she is but a piece of his body. For God could have created Eve from the earth as well as He did Adam, but He would not. Rather, He matched the man and the woman together with such condition, that the man, knowing his wife to be as his own substance and flesh, should be induced thereby to love her (as we shall see again hereafter), and that the wife, knowing herself to have no other being but of the man, should bear her subjection patiently and with a willing mind. For if the hand, being a member of the body, should refuse to stand in its own place, and would need to settle itself upon the crown of the head, what a thing would that be?
So then, if we look back to the creation of man and woman, the husband on his side ought to be induced to love and cherish his wife as himself, and the wife, seeing she was taken out of the substance of the man, ought to submit herself quietly unto him as to her head.
But there is also another bond (1 Timothy 2:14) which doubles still the subjection of the wife: for we know that she was beguiled.
Women, therefore, must remember that in being subject to their husbands, they receive the hire of Eve's sin, and they must consider that if marriage had continued sound and uncorrupt, there would have been nothing but joy for both man and wife. For know that things were blessed by God, and there was not anything that should not have turned to gladness and felicity.
But now, although God's blessings shine forth everywhere, both above and beneath, yet there are always tokens of cursing imprinted in them, so that we cannot behold either heaven or earth, or any other creature, without perceiving that God has become a stranger to us because our father Adam fell from that noble and excellent state to which he was created before. This is to be seen everywhere in all things, and especially in marriage. For women ought to feel the fruit of their sins, and men feel enough of it for their part. For surely if Eve and Adam had continued in the righteousness that God had given them, the whole state of this earthly life would have been as a Paradise, and marriage would have been so beautified that man and wife, being matched together, would have lived in such accord as we see the angels of heaven do, among whom there is nothing but peace and brotherly love. And even so, it would have been with us.
Therefore, as now, when a man has a curst and shrewd wife whom he cannot manage by any means, he must consider with himself: "Lo, here are the fruits of original sin and the corruption that is in myself." And the wife also, on her side, must think: "Good reason it is that I should receive the payment that comes of my disobedience towards God, for that I did not hold myself in His awe."
Thus much concerning the word "subjection," which is set down here.
Now, Saint Paul, in saying, "As to the Lord," does not mean to make men equal with God, or with our Lord Jesus Christ, for that would be too great an oversight. Instead, he shows that the fear and reverence which a woman ought to bear unto God, and the subjection which she owes to her husband, are two things that cannot be put asunder.
Just as when he exhorted us before to link together in mutual subjection, he added this saying, "in the fear of God" (Ephesians
5:21).
And why? For if we pretend to honor God and obey Him, and in the meantime reject and despise our neighbors, so that every one of us is wedded to himself and wants to be exempt from all law and rule, it is gross hypocrisy. Also, if a wife pretends to have great devotion and seems to be thoroughly seasoned with the fear of God, but at home is like a fiend, with nothing but scolding, brawling, wrangling, and such other things, she shows herself not to have one spark of the fear of God. This is because she so holds her husband, who is her head and, as it were, God's lieutenant in that regard, in scorn.
Therefore, let us note that Saint Paul has not set down this similitude to match husbands (who are mortal creatures, mere worms of the earth) in equal degree with Jesus Christ, but to show briefly that, since our Lord Jesus has authority over marriage, men must have regard to Him. Every person must submit himself patiently because no one can refuse his part without despising Him who wants wedlock maintained with mutual duty, so that the man loves his wife and the wife is subject to her husband. That is the essence of the matter that we have to remember upon this point.
Now then, let wives look well to their duties and understand that when they contend with their husbands, it is as if they would reject
God because He has not created them otherwise than with the condition and intent that they should be subject to their husbands.
True, they will be so proud and stately as to say, "Should my husband have my head under his girdle?" Yes, but the wife who does so shows that she is unwilling that God should have any authority over her and would rather put God's law under her foot.
However, since there is no other choice, women must needs stoop and understand that the ruin and confusion of all mankind came through their side and that through them we are all forlorn, accursed, and banished from the kingdom of heaven. When women,
I say, understand that all this came from Eve and of womankind (as Saint Paul tells us in another place), there is no other way for them but to stoop and to bear patiently the subjection that God has laid upon them, which is nothing else but a warning to them to keep themselves lowly and mild (1 Timothy 2:14-15).
But if they lift up themselves against their husbands and cannot find it in their hearts to be ruled by them, it is like setting their seal to the sin of Adam and Eve and the disobedience they committed, declaring that they are not willing that God should heal that wound again, even though it be deadly. Now, when they make war against the grace of God in such a manner, what can come of it but utter confusion?
But the wives who are foolish in mind will not think of that. Yet, it is registered before God, and they must yield an account of it to their utter confusion. Therefore, let us look that we heed this warning better, to the end that every man may glorify God in his own house.
Also, let the husbands think upon their duty. For although (to speak properly) they are not subject to their wives, because their wives have
no authority over them, yet they are advanced to that honor of superiority with certain conditions: namely, that they should not be cruel towards their wives, nor think all things granted and lawful which they desire, but that their authority should rather be a companionship than a kingship. For doubtless, the husband is not his wife's head to oppress her or to make no account of her. Instead, he should understand that the authority he has binds him even more to her.
For seeing he is the head, he ought to have discretion and skill in how to guide his wife and his household. And what is the way to bring that to pass, but to use gentleness and mildness, and to bear discreetly with the frailty which he knows to be in his wife, according as Saint Peter exhorts us (1 Peter 3:7)? You see then that husbands must so require obedience from their wives as they themselves must do their own duty, and consider that they shall not be borne with before God if they give their wives cause to lift themselves up against them.
For it is certain that if the husband deals discreetly and uprightly, the wife shall submit to him, and our Lord will so dispose her heart that the house shall be quietly guided. But the first and chief point is that God be called upon. For though a man uses all the means that can be, yet if he trusts in his own wit, he shall but lose his time. And why?
Because God will laugh his presumption to scorn. But if husbands consider that God holds people's hearts in His hand and bends them as He pleases, and therefore pray for grace and power to win their wives so that they may agree with them and humble themselves to them, then they shall perceive that God works in that behalf.
But most commonly, it is seen that men deal roughly with their wives and think to win them by playing the tyrant, so as they stick not to
bruise their bodies, sometimes even to the point where the blood follows. These are hangmen and tormentors who would so martyr their wives, and yet, they will allege the superiority that God has given them. That superiority is not diabolical, nor does it serve to make men like brute beasts, but to maintain good order and government.
But the women, on their side, do, for the most part, harden themselves, and when they are to marry, they never think upon the things that God shows and teaches them by His word. Hardly shall a man find one among a hundred who prays to God when she is upon the point of marriage. No doubt, but they hear it well enough said that the husband must be the head. And (they themselves will say),
"Very well, it is true that if I have a husband, he must be above me, for so is the fashion of the world, and I must abide it." But in the meantime, there shall be such overweening, or rather devilish stoutness in them, that they could find it in their hearts to pluck God out of His seat. They would gladly have this matter that we read now erased from the Scripture to avoid being subject to it.
Yes, and they make a confederacy among themselves in that case, saying: "Tush, I warrant thee, I will hold my own, and if my husband plays the churl with me, he shall well perceive that I do not care for it. I will hold him at bay so long that when he sees he does but lose his labor, he shall be forced to give over his game and to let me alone." After this manner, I say, do women begin to enter into housewifery, so that a man shall scarcely find one among a hundred who is not of that mind and who has not fully determined upon it.
Also, the husband, on his side, thinks thus: "Tush, let me alone, I will manage her well enough." As if he were God, who has told us that there is another manner of discretion to be used in this regard. For
the way for men to win their wives is not to approach them with harshness and to play the madman with them or to use tyranny over them. None of that will help. Yet, men think themselves so wise in their own conceit that they shall scare their wives with a grim look.
To be brief, they debate the matter, and in the meantime, they rob God, as though He had reserved nothing for Himself by which to teach us to turn to Him, to pray for Him to soften their hearts, and to bow them to obedience and mildness.
Therefore, it behooves us to remember the lesson so much the better, which is shown to us here. For the same cause, Saint Paul applies the example of our Lord Jesus Christ to both sides. He tells the women that it is for their benefit to be subject to their husbands. And why?
Let us consider the spiritual state of the Church. How miserable would our state be if we were separated from our Lord Jesus Christ?
We would be bereft of all hope of life and of all God's benefits. And although we enjoyed many gifts in this world, yet they would all turn to our displeasure if we were not members of our Lord Jesus Christ.
To be brief, without the Son of God, there is nothing but scattering here beneath. For He was sent to gather together all things that were scattered before, insomuch that all our happiness, joy, and rest is to have Jesus Christ reigning over us and ruling us.
Now then, there must be a correspondence in marriage, and the women must understand that, since wedlock is like an image of the spiritual union between us and the Son of God, it is for their benefit to be under their husbands and to yield them obedience. It shall be much more for their profit than if they were at liberty to govern themselves and do what they like, without any restraint or control.
True, it is that they cannot conceive it, but who shall be found wiser in the end? God or women? If they insist that it would be better for them to be in no subjection at all to their husbands, whereas God has
ordained otherwise, even for their welfare, and has declared and given sentence that it is so, do they think they can get the upper hand in arguing against God?
You see then that Jesus Christ is set down as the Savior of the body, so that wives should know that God has provided better for their necessities than they are aware of. When they have thought deeply and debated within themselves, and gathered all the reasons that are possible, yet it is certain that they do not know what is truly for their own profit as well as God does, who has placed them in subjection to their husbands, even for their own welfare, to the intent that they should be maintained, which otherwise could not be.
Again, on the other side, Saint Paul appeals to our Lord Jesus Christ to the husbands, to the intent that they should not abuse the authority that is granted to them, nor break the friendship that ought to be maintained in wedlock by being overly harsh, as they are often inclined to be. The example he sets before them in our Lord Jesus
Christ, by asking how He has loved His Church, is, first and foremost, that He gave Himself for it, and that He did not spare
Himself when He took on human flesh. Indeed, all power and dominion were given unto Him, so that all knees must bow before Him, as Saint Paul himself says, and all of us, both great and small, must do Him homage (Philippians 2:10). But yet, what has He done for His Church? Did He desire to reign in such a way as to exercise tyranny over us? No, but on the contrary, He humbled Himself, and whereas He had sovereign dominion over the angels of heaven, He became subject to the Law (Galatians 4:4) and was called a servant, yes, and He was utterly emptied for our sakes.
Now, when we see that God bears such inestimable love for us in our Lord Jesus Christ, that He has placed Himself in the person of a
husband and graciously allowed that we should be as a wife unto Him, I say, when we see that, should we now, who are but worms of the earth and of no account, refuse to follow the example of the Son of God, who disregarded His heavenly glory and majesty in order to abase Himself in such a way for our sakes?
So then, this should be enough to humble the hearts of both parties if there is not such beastly wickedness, or rather stark devilishness, in both husbands and wives. For considering that our Lord Jesus Christ so humbled Himself for the love that He bore us, who are but carrion and worth nothing, and also has told us that there is nothing better than for the wives to be subject to their husbands and the husbands to bear with their wives, if that does not move them, it is a sign that they are too beastly high-minded, or rather that there is neither wit nor reason in them. For were there but one drop, surely what Saint
Paul tells us ought to correct all things that might hinder us from doing our duties, on both sides.
And were this well regarded, doubtless there would be much more quietness in their homes than there is, and husband and wife would not be like cats and dogs, snapping and biting at each other. But the very mischief is that there seems to be no fear of God among them.
For should not men call to mind, both evening and morning, the grace shown unto us by the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ? And when everyone had thought well on it and set their minds to it, the married men ought also to think particularly with themselves, "To what end has God shown Himself so loving, so kind, and so merciful towards me? Seeing that He has advanced me to such dignity, is it not good reason that I should fashion myself to be like unto Him?"
Now, He would have me behave myself toward my wife as Jesus Christ has behaved Himself toward me. Is this not enough to break
the hardest of hearts, even those as hard as stone, or as steel? Yes, surely. Likewise, if the women on their side were mindful of their redemption and salvation, then should their hard hearts need to be softened, and they would not harden themselves anymore to such stubbornness as they do, but they would submit themselves to the yoke of our Lord Jesus Christ, that they might be partakers of the benefit which He has purchased for them by His death and passion.
We see then that when the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ is preached to us impartially, most people gain nothing by it, for they forsake it in all their life.
And by the way, we have to mark further that, although husbands may be froward, and wives unwilling to be ruled, yea, and utterly incorrigible, yet that is no release to either of them from doing their duty. For example: it may be that if a husband had a gentle and tractable wife (as I mentioned before), he on his side could bear with her, and there would be a marvelous good liking and life between them. But perhaps one man will say he has a drunkard or a glutton for a wife, another that his wife is given to garishness and too much finery, so that all she can scrape together is too little to trim and deck herself with. Another may say his wife is an idle housewife and will do nothing.
Well, these things may have some color before men; and (as I said before) if the matter concerned only the parties themselves, each of them might have a defense at hand to cast off all yoke. But the husband must think in that case, "I have an ill-disposed woman, or a fool, or one who has neither manners nor good behavior, nor any care at all for her household. But how do I behave myself, not only in these worldly affairs, but also toward God?" Now, when the husband has thought over these things well and thoroughly examined his own
faults, he will hold his peace and patiently bear with his wife's faults until God gives her the grace to amend them.
In the meantime, however things may go, let him not cease to play the good husband, applying himself to his wife to win her unto God.
For he is not set in a degree of superiority, except for the benefit and welfare of his yoke-fellow. And since this is an inviolable law, the same reasoning must also persuade the women.
If a woman has a drunkard, a frequenter of taverns and tippling houses, a gambler, a spendthrift, a rioter, or a churl who is never at peace with her, so that, do what she can to obey and please him, she can never have any peace or goodwill from him, let her consider:
"Alas, this is God's scourge upon me, for I have not been as I ought to be in obeying my God and submitting myself to His will. How have I applied myself to serve and honor Him? How have I discharged the charge that He has committed to me?"
Let the wife think upon these things, and then let her conclude that, however she fares, it is not for mortal creatures to break the bond in which God will have us bound, for that would be striving against Him. Therefore, she must submit herself to him who is her head, and although he may be terrible, it still becomes her to be subject to her
God, who has her husband's heart in His hand and can alter it when He pleases. She must not provoke him to win her with blows from a cudgel, for in so doing, God would be displeased with both him and her.
So then, the faults of the wife cannot discharge the husband from keeping unbroken the law which God has ordained, that is, living together in one accord. Likewise, the vices of the husband shall not excuse the wife from yielding submission and obedience in all things on God's behalf, as is stated here.
Now, Saint Paul, to confirm this exhortation better, declares how our Lord Jesus Christ is the Savior of the body: namely, because he gave himself for the Church to sanctify it, or to make it holy. Indeed, the whole doctrine hereof cannot be dispatched as of now. Yet, notwithstanding, we have to mark that here Saint Paul shows more at large the thing he had mentioned in one word before: which is, that both the husband and wife may bridle their wicked affections, and that when they are tempted to go astray, or to fall out with one another, the very means to calm all wicked passions is to have an eye to the pledge of the spiritual union between our Lord Jesus Christ and us, whereof we will speak more fully hereafter.
First of all, it is said that we must consider that our Lord Jesus Christ gave himself for us, wherein he begins with our redemption.
Therefore, we must mark that word for now, waiting until after dinner to discuss the rest: for under that word it is shown to us first that our Lord Jesus Christ was (in a sense) heedless of himself and did not regard his own person when he went about our salvation.
True, it is that he was given to us by God, who (as it is said in John 3:16) loved the world so well that he spared not his only Son but gave him to death for our sakes. Yet, notwithstanding, our Lord Jesus
Christ also did give himself. "No man taketh my life from me," saith he, "but I lay it down." (John 10:18). For it was requisite that the sacrifice he offered for the remission of our sins should be willing.
You see then that Jesus Christ gave himself to death, and if we demand the cause, surely it was first to fulfill the will and everlasting determination of God his Father. Nevertheless, just as God the Father intended the salvation of mankind, so Jesus Christ showed how dear we were to him, and how precious our souls are in his sight, since he vouchsafed to give himself in that fashion.
Now then, on the one side, the husbands must consider well here what they owe to their wives: that is, that they should be as dear to them as their own lives, at the least. And though they do so, they shall not come to the perfection of our Lord Jesus Christ, but follow him a great way behind. And the wives also, on their side, must bear well in mind that, since it is God's will that in wedlock there should be a figure of the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, they err too far if they do not submit themselves where God calls them to it.
And by the way, let us also know that Saint Paul meant to magnify God's goodness toward us and the love that Jesus Christ bears for us in saying that he gave himself for us. Therefore, let us acknowledge that it came of the free mercy of God his Father, and also that our
Lord Jesus Christ respected nothing but our miseries when he showed himself so merciful to succor us. If we mind these things, on the one side, we shall be moved to our duty without gainsaying, and on the other side, inflamed to glorify our God and acknowledge, both with our mouths and by our whole life, how much we are beholden to him, seeing he has poured out the treasures of his mercy upon us, insomuch that he has not only discharged us of the condemnation wherein we were and drawn us out of death, but has also vouchsafed to give us his well-beloved Son as a pledge of his love. Jesus Christ has taken upon him the office to be the surety and ransom for us, to the end, to set us clear before God, that the devil also might not have anything against us, notwithstanding that he is our adversary, and we are subject unto him until we are set free from that bondage by means of the said Redeemer.
Now let us fall down before the Majesty of our good God, with acknowledgment of our faults, praying Him to make us so to know them, that we may ask Him for forgiveness of them, and reform ourselves more and more by amending them. Let us so profit in the