Conviction of Sin is the Beginning of a Revival
At this moment my heart began to burn within me. I thought of the two disciples on their way to Emmaus, when they were joined by a third, unknown man who walked with them and spoke to them. Their eyes were opened after He had broken bread with them and the one said to the other, "Did not our heart burn within us, while He opened to us the Scriptures?" I thought, "Is this what they felt? O Lord, grant that your children and your church in the world today may be like the early church. Can't you do it once again? Revive your work, O God. Can't the Christians today be like the first Christians again?" With that, I closed the service.
When I got home, I called on my brother, who lived in the village where we held our services, and said to him, "You know, a strange thing happened today. The meeting was suddenly interrupted, not by terrorists, but by a prayer. If that prayer was inspired by the Holy Spirit - and I don't doubt that it was - then I believe that the risen Lord, the living God, will again be in our midst and the church of Christ will experience what the first Christians experienced in Jerusalem." A week and a half later, God rent the heavens and came down!
Chapter 5
Conviction of Sin is the Beginning of a Revival
"Oh that thou wouldest rend the heavens, that thou wouldest come down, that the mountains might flow down at thy presence, as when the melting fire burneth, the fire causeth the waters to boil, to make thy name known to thine adversaries, that the nations may tremble at thy presence! When thou didst terrible things which we looked not for, thou camest down, the mountains flowed down at thy presence. For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him." Isaiah 64:1-4
This is truly a genuine prayer for revival. In 1966, in our spiritually desperate situation, we prayed, "O God, if you would only rend the heavens."
The prophet is saying: "Lord, we agree with whatever you do, even if the price we must pay is high, as long as you come down and remain in our midst." When I speak of revival, I'm not talking about revival meetings. I'm talking about when God Himself rends the heavens and comes down into our midst, and every person there is conscious of the presence of the living God.
We prayed earnestly for revival. We came together twice a day, but after a while we were lead so deeply into repentance that our Bible studies began to recede into the background and we just broke down and wept. Until then we had prayed that God would come down and work amongst the heathens. We hadn't realised that God never begins with the heathens and the people outside, the people in the streets. He always begins in the house of God, as we find in the first epistle of Peter chapter 4:17. We can't blame the ungodly for not being converted, if we Christians aren't being revived and living the right kind of life.
We asked ourselves what the life of a person who believes in Jesus should be like. In John 7:38 Jesus says, "He that believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water." He doesn't say a little stream or rivulet. Just imagine what a river can do. Even a small stream can become a mighty current when heavy rainfall causes it to overflow its banks. With the water from a river we can transform a desert into a garden, irrigate fields or produce electricity. Here Jesus isn't talking about only one river, but about rivers of living water. When we asked ourselves at Mapumulo, "Are there such rivers of living water flowing out of our lives?" we had to answer, "No!"
What is it like, when rivers flow? It isn't possible to stop such streams of water. One can build a dam, but an immense amount of water pressure will build up and eventually the barrier will crack if the dam wall isn't strong enough and it cannot flow over. When a dam bursts one can witness the violent force of such crushing torrents of water. Spiritually speaking, this means that there is nothing in the world that will stop the rivers of living water which the Spirit of God can work in our lives.
I remember one day, I asked the little congregation, "Who of you believes in Jesus Christ?" Then I did something which I normally avoid. I said, "I would like those of you who believe in Jesus to raise their hands." Of course there wasn't a single person who didn't raise his hand. So I said, "Look, we have to face things squarely. Jesus says if we believe in Him, as the Scriptures say, then rivers of living water will flow out of our lives. Now let me ask you a personal question: Are there rivers of living water flowing out of your lives?"
"No!" they said.
"Does that mean that you don't believe in Jesus?"
"But we are sure that we believe in Jesus. We have accepted Christ, we surrendered our lives to him. We can't doubt that," they replied.
"Well, if that's the way it is, then we are either deceiving ourselves, or the words Jesus said aren't true."
What were we to do now? We had determined that we would no longer justify or excuse ourselves. All discussions were pointless. Now we were at a loss, we had reached a deadlock and could find no solution to our problem. But suddenly it seemed to me as if the Lord were showing me something. I looked at the verse once more, where Jesus says, "He that believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said..." In other words, maybe Scripture has something specific to say about the life of a believer, and not only that rivers of living water will flow out of our lives.
So we got together again and took this into consideration. We said to ourselves, "Let's search the Scriptures and let the Word speak to us. Let us not twist and turn what we read, nor tear it apart, rather let us shed light on it from all sides. We must disregard our ways and customs, our church laws and our personal religious opinions, and hear exactly what the Bible has to say. Do we really believe as Scripture says?"
Then God began working on the greatest sinner in that congregation. It was the preacher, it was I! I had always criticised and blamed others and had an excuse for everything. When people asked me why I found everything so difficult, I would say, "You've got to understand. It's not easy for a white man to preach the gospel today. The blacks, the Zulus, don't accept it. They say it's the white man's religion and, what's more, a white man who is preaching. People are politically-minded today, influenced by communism and certain theologies. Just look at the young people, what they are busy with and what takes up all their time: alcohol, sex, soccer, discotheques, pornography, television, etc. Then one can understand why people turn away from God more and more, and revival can't break out."
I would always find fault with others, and point a finger at them, but what happens if you point your finger at someone? Don't three fingers point back at you, as if saying that you are three times as bad as the person you are criticising? We always judge according to our own standards. And, psychologically speaking, a person always sees his own mistakes in others. If you want to know a person's weak spot, just listen to what he has to say about other people. These very things are usually found in his own life.
Let me illustrate this with a few examples. An artist may look at a tree, and see a motif for a beautiful picture. A carpenter regards the tree from a different perspective. He thinks of the wonderful planks he can fashion from it. The man who planted it would see yet another benefit.
Let's consider an alcoholic. He is constantly thinking of alcohol. If he sees someone else with a bottle under his arm, he will immediately think, "Oh, he bought some liquor, he's a drunkard like me." But possibly the bottle only contains water. A homosexual might see two men walking down the street together and think, "They are probably just like me."
But then God placed His finger on certain things in my life. I remember one Saturday morning, some of the blacks came and asked me if we couldn't come together at one o'clock that afternoon. They hadn't been home all week, and some of them had a walk of seven kilometres to get home. They wanted to get back to their families over the weekend, so that they could look after the children and attend to the laundry and the housekeeping. So I agreed that we would meet at noon.
At that time we came together in a small building, which had been a cow shed before. On the other side of the road were the tennis courts, and as we assembled there at the time we had arranged, the magistrate, the assistant magistrate, the postmaster, the police sergeant and other people from Mapumulo had just gathered for a game of tennis. I thought to myself, "Oh my, what will those people think of me, if I go down on my knees and pray with these blacks?" I knew these dignitaries, knew where they stood spiritually, and was ashamed to pray as we had been doing. What was I supposed to do now? The whites would think I was cracked, but at that moment I didn't realise that that's exactly the point, that we must be cracked, so that the light of God can shine through. The sooner we are broken, the better. I was in a dilemma. Should I say to the blacks, "Go home and come back after the others have finished playing their game; come back at five." But what reason would I give? After all, I couldn't tell them that I was ashamed to pray with them. Again and again I heard a voice inside: What will those people out there think of me, a white man, praying on my knees with these blacks?
Suddenly I had a brain wave. I decided to get up and close the windows, so that the people out there couldn't hear what was going on inside. These were old-fashioned windows, which you had to push up. As I had closed them, I heard a voice say to me, "Okay then, close the window. Then you will be inside, and I will remain
outside!"
I didn't need any special translation for that kind of language! I understood it immediately. I knew it wasn't the window which kept God outside, it was my pride! For the first time in my life, I realised that God's Spirit is a Holy Spirit. I had never seen it that way before. I had spoken about the Holy Spirit hundreds, maybe thousands of times, but I had never realised what the Holy in the Holy Spirit really meant. In all that time the holiness of God's Spirit had never been revealed to me.
Before the revival broke out, I didn't particularly like the Pentecostals, indeed, I had often challenged them openly. We must be very careful with what we say and what we do as it is so easy to declare, "I am baptised with the Holy Spirit, I am Spirit-filled," and have people look up to us. For instance, I knew two men who spoke in tongues and claimed that they were Spirit-filled, but one of them used words no Christian should ever use; He could swear and curse most severely. The second man fooled around with women. That was a weapon I used, and I would say, "Come up here onto the platform with me, and I will test what you have said, since you are allegedly filled with the Holy Spirit," - although I myself had no clue as to what the Holy Spirit really was. I emphasise this, because we tend to profess so much with words, but live so little by them. In doing so, we bring much dishonour to God's name.
When God blessed Andrew Murray and the Dutch Reformed church in the Cape province with a revival and worked mightily in that area, Murray had much opposition. I am of the opinion that the depth of God's work can be measured by the amount of opposition encountered. If there's not much opposition, God hasn't done much. Regarding Dr. Murray, some people claimed, "Andrew Murray teaches false doctrines, he is too extreme and eccentric. We are all sinners, nobody can live the way he preaches." They then chose two people to go and visit Murray and stay with him for two weeks. After those two weeks they came back and reported the following: "Friends, he doesn't preach half of what he lives. If you had been there with him and the people around him, and had seen how they live and behave, then you could only say: they don't only preach, they live accordingly." It is as with the Queen of Sheba, who, when she arrived at Solomon's palace, had to say that she hadn't been told half of what she saw.
Therefore we must be careful with our words. Usually we say more than we do, and claim more than we are actually worth. Great harm has already been done in this world, and the people who have done the greatest damage to God's work are not the communists, but the Christians. Not the ungodly, but the ones who call themselves Christians, although in reality they are lukewarm. That is why Jesus says in Revelation 3:15-16, "I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth." Rather ungodly or a raw heathen than a lukewarm Christian, for Jesus can put up with the heathens, the cold ones, more easily than those who are lukewarm. Therefore the Lord warns the Christians of the church in Laodicea that He will spew a lukewarm Christian out of His mouth, and his end will be worse than that of a heathen.
Let's return to the point where God revealed my pride to me. Pride is a dreadful thing, a terrible sin. Again and again I saw the words of the apostle before my inner eye, "For God resisteth the proud" (1 Peter 5:5). I had never given it much thought. I had always been of the opinion that it was the devil who was making things so difficult for me. Now I realised that it wasn't the devil, but God Himself who was resisting me. God's Word doesn't say that the devil resists the proud - God resists the proud.
What is our greatest danger? There are numerous possibilities. Some say the terrorists. Such people can only sleep at night with their doors and windows locked. Some say the blacks are our greatest danger, others say the greatest danger is communism. But in reality it is God Himself, the very One who saved us, Who is our gravest peril!
The children of Israel were saved by the blood which they put on the posts of their doors. They drank of the spiritual Rock that followed them, which was Christ (1 Corinthians 10:4). In the next verse we read that the same hand which saved them slew them in the wilderness, for God was not well pleased with His people. The result was that most of them weren't permitted to set foot in Canaan. God, in His wrath, had turned against them.
There is nothing in this world that we need fear more than God. Even if the whole world were for us, but God against us, we would be fighting a lost battle. But one man with God means victory and superiority over the whole world. The Bible says, "If God be for us, who can be against us?" How nice it would be, if that little word "if" were not there. Things would be so much simpler if the Bible said, "God is for us, so who can be against us?" But there is a question mark - "If" God be for us - and we must ask ourselves: Is He for us? Undoubtedly, we can't avoid that question if we think about it seriously.
When we look at some Christians, we must doubt whether God is with them. I have experienced one thing: If there is pride in a Christian's life, God will resist him. That's what my life was like. When I realised that, I cried out and prayed, "O Lord, I always thought that the devil was against me, but now I see that it is You who are resisting me. There is no hope for me! If it were only the devil, by your grace I could overcome him. But if You are against me, then I am lost!"
It seemed to me that God was grinding me through the mill, and He didn't begin with my feet, either. He threw me in head first and put His finger on my sore spot: my pride! Let's never forget that! Where pride is found, God is in opposition to that work, that place and that person! He has made it unmistakably clear that He resists the proud.
That, however, was just the beginning. The Holy Spirit showed me one sin after another. He did exactly what we read in John 16:7, where the Lord Jesus says, "It is expedient (to your advantage) that I go away; for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you." It seems to us as if God's Word portrays things in an incorrect manner. We read that the Comforter will guide us into all truth. "He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness and of judgement." If Jesus speaks of a Comforter that will come, then we expect that Comforter to comfort us! Is there any comfort in His convicting us of sin? On the contrary, things become quite uncomfortable!
Years ago, a preacher asked, "Tell me, when you preach, do you ever touch on sin?" I replied, "I'm sorry, but my experience is such that I can't speak about anything else." He said, "Well, I can't preach about sin, because every time I touch on the subject, I see the people getting uncomfortable and moving around on the benches."
For what purpose did Jesus come to this earth? What does the name Jesus mean? He came for the purpose of saving us from our sins, and that is what His name means, "He shall save his people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21). Why did He die on the cross? What did He shed His blood for? Wasn't it to carry our sins up to the cross, to deal with them? He was made to be sin for us. He died for us, to save us from our sins.
It was heartbreaking for the disciples when the Lord Jesus told them that He was going to leave, because it was heaven on earth for them to have fellowship with Him. Can you imagine anything better than having Jesus in your midst, to see Him, to hear Him and to discuss all your problems with Him? But Jesus says: There is something better! I must go, or the Comforter will not come. But when He comes, He will convict the world of sin. "Of course He'll convict the world of sin," we agree quickly. "Yes, the world, but not us Christians." We often criticise the politicians and their double-faced statements, but maybe we are worse than they are. When the Bible says, "For God so loved the world," we say it was meant for us. He loves me! But when He convicts the world, He convicts other people, not me. There must be something wrong here somewhere. Remember Peter's statement, that judgement must begin at the house of God? That's exactly where it begins! That's where He convicts people of sin. Whenever the Spirit of God moves, then undoubtedly it will be the way Jesus said He would.
It is not true that the Spirit initially enables people to praise and worship Him. That is nonsense! That's putting the cart before the horse, turning things upside-down. People will be full of joy! No, by saying that, we are twisting the Word of God. The first thing that happens when the Holy Spirit comes into a person's life is that He convicts that person of sin. There is broken-heartedness, and people weep because of their sin. Their faces are sour, not happy. There are tears and not smiles, because the Spirit of God is at work.
Many conversions are not genuine; the "converts" are not born again of the Holy Spirit. There are Christians who don't know what it means to be convicted of sin. One might ask if those people have ever come into contact with the Holy Spirit. Let's pay attention to what Jesus said. When the Comforter comes, He will open our eyes to our sin - and that will be anything but joy - until we have no other alternative but to flee to the cross, where our sins can be washed away. Then joy will enter our hearts. In actual fact, we can't love Jesus if we don't know what forgiveness of sin means. The deeper the conviction, the greater our love to Jesus, because: "He who is forgiven much, loves much." The people who love Jesus most are the people whose godly sorrow has gone deepest. Such people don't just say they love Him, they love Him with their entire way of living. They keep His Word, they believe in Him as the Scriptures say, and they live a life of holiness and righteousness.
There is another experience which I remember quite well. One day I arrived at the building after the singing had already begun, so I didn't have time to change my clothes. I thought to myself, "What would the people say if I got up before the congregation without a proper suit and tie, my shirt open, and the Bible in my hand? What would they think of me?"
Suddenly I remembered the time when the prophet Elijah stood before a godless King Ahab and his ungodly
wife, who apparently ruled the king's life. She was a woman who led an immoral life, who surely dressed attractively, maybe with her face made up: an impressive figure for her surroundings. But in the end she was eaten by the dogs. God showed all the world once and for all how such a woman ends. When the prophet stood before this king, he said, "As the Lord God of Israel liveth, before whom I stand!" Try to imagine that. Have we ever stood in the presence of a king, a president or a prime minister? What would we feel? Elijah had to appear before a king who considered him to be his enemy. Elijah stood before a dictator, a man who feared nothing, who killed whom he wished, and cursed whom he wished. And yet Elijah could say, "King, it is the God of Israel before whom I stand!" Even before a mighty, worldly king, Elijah was conscious of the presence of God.
I couldn't claim that of myself. I was subject to the opinions of men. I wasn't concerned with what God would say, but with what those people thought of me. When I stood before the congregation, I stood before men and not before God. I danced to their tune! When I realised that, I felt it would break my heart!
I love the prophet Elijah, and I wish there were more people like him, who pray with their face between their knees, and then things happen! Elijah prayed that it wouldn't rain - and it didn't rain for three and a half years. This was a man who saved an entire nation, a man whom God used to close the heavens. Then Elijah bowed down with his face between his knees and prayed again. After the seventh time, his servant said, "Behold, there ariseth a little cloud out of the sea, like a man's hand." And the rain came for which the prophet had prayed. Elijah was a man who could pray the fire of God down from heaven. I loved this man, and in my heart I cried, "I wish to be like that!" In James we read, "Elijah was a man like us." But what kind of man was this? He was a man with godly authority, not like a soap bubble, which glistens in the light of the sun and then bursts. No, Elijah was a man who could pray! The early church prayed, and the place was shaken. Has there ever been a time in the Christian world in which there has been more prayer than today? Everywhere there are prayer meetings! But in spite of the many prayers, the place is not shaken, the place shakes us. It shakes and moves Christianity, and we say, "What will become of us Christians?" Let us regard this precisely in the Light of God for once, so that we may know where we stand.
When I thought of Elijah, it was as if I had been struck by lightning. I prayed, "O God, forgive me, have mercy upon me!" Then God reminded me of the words of the apostle Paul, "For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ!" (Galatians 1:10). What had I been telling the Zulus for twelve years? "I come to you as a servant of Jesus Christ to preach the gospel." Now I was being tested and tried by the Word of God. I knew the Scripture in 1 Corinthians 9:27, where Paul says of himself, "lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be cast away." I knew all too well that this was possible. I had been a preacher of the gospel all these years, but was rejected and cast away in God's eyes. All this led me to inner brokenness.
Then I suddenly saw a picture, like a vision. I'm not a person who believes in visions or dreams, but I'll never forget this picture. If I were an artist, I could still draw it today. There was a Hindu temple with all sorts of gods and idols. I saw myself entering the heathen shrine and bowing down to the ground before the first of these idols and worshipping it. Then I stood up, went to the next idol, touched my forehead to the floor and worshipped that image. Again I rose and did the same with the third idol. I finally awoke with a shout and cried, "Lord, for twelve years I have been preaching to the Zulus, 'I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness...' and here I am, the preacher, bowing down to the idols and worshipping them!"
Yes, God showed me that I had committed idolatry. Weeping, I went into the assembly room in which I was supposed to hold the service, but I couldn't preach. With much effort I could only stutter, "Let's get down on our knees and pray." I wept incessantly and cried, "God, be merciful to me a sinner." That was the beginning of the revival. God was putting me through His mill, which grinds slowly and minutely. Anybody that hasn't experienced it for himself doesn't know what it means when one speaks of God's mill. At that time I forgot that I had been a preacher of the gospel for twelve years. I forgot that I had studied and that I had called myself a child of God. I prayed like the sinner in the temple, who beat his own breast.
It was Christmas time when the revival broke out. We were five brothers and one sister in my family, and Christmas time was a wonderful time of the year for us. Long before the nativity we would be singing those beautiful Christmas carols. But that year things were different. I forgot all about Christmas. There was no decorated tree, no joyful Christmas feeling, no Christmas songs. A member of the congregation came up to me and said, "Brother, don't you know that today is Christmas?" after I had preached on a completely different subject in the service. God was busy dealing with me.
I was so blind, so dull and so deaf, that the Lord had to seize me by my collar and shove everything under my nose so that I could see. One day, as I was walking to the service, I suddenly realised that I hadn't even shaved. Nowadays such a thing is not quite so bad. Many people walk around unshaved. But we had been raised in
such a way, that it was a disgrace for a man to appear unshaved in public. That's what I was thinking as I was about to appear before the congregation unshaved. What will the people think of me? Again I was smitten by the Word of God: "By Jesus Christ the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world" (Galatians 6:14). "Lord Jesus," I prayed, "You said, 'He that believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said,' But I don't do that. I am not crucified unto the world like Paul. According to Your Word, I should be dead unto the world and unto sin!" In times of revival the Word of God comes alive. It smites us and pierces our hearts. It is not like a duck, which doesn't get wet in the water, or a rock, which stays dry inside, although it lies at the bottom of the river. The Word of God is like a hammer, that breaks a rock into pieces. It now became clear to me that it wasn't the heathens who were standing in the way of revival. I could only cry out, "Lord, there is only one person hindering your work, and that is me! Please forgive me!"
One thing after the other was revealed to me. One day, I was standing under a wild fig tree, and some Africans were standing nearby, watching me. "One can see that he is a drunkard," they remarked, "but he doesn't seem to be of the worst kind." I can't remember what I looked like, but the very people I had looked down upon, now held me in disdain, because God humbles the proud. The Lord reminded me of what the Prime Minister, Dr. Verwoerd, told us whites one day, when he spoke of the Bantus, "We must love our neighbours as ourselves." I said to myself then, "Yes, that is easier said than done." Now, after so many years, God used those words spoken by the late Prime Minister and said to me, "Erlo, it's not Dr. Verwoerd, but the King of Kings who is asking you: Do you love your neighbour as yourself?" I looked at those Zulus and said to the Lord, "Yes, I do love them. After all, I've sacrificed myself for these people. But if I'm honest with myself, I must admit that I don't love them as I love myself." Then God replied in my heart, "If you want revival, it's going to happen according to My Word, and you must believe as Scripture says. You must love your neighbour as yourself. Do you love the Zulus as yourself?" All I could say was, "No, Lord, I can't, I am sorry. I feel I can't do that, it is going too far." But the Lord didn't stop at that. He said, "The greatest shall be the lowliest. The first, the last. And the greatest, the servant of all." I said, "O God, no! Forgive me, but I can't go this way with you any longer, Lord. I picture in my mind a black man, walking along with a suitcase, and me having to go and say to him: 'Let me carry your suitcase for you.' That is impossible, I can't do such a thing. O God, please forgive me, but I can't do it." I started sweating. Things got so bad, that I'd wake up at night, and my bed would be soaked with perspiration because of this struggle within me. I tried to bargain with God and cried, "Lord, send me somewhere else, to a lonely island, or another country, but I can't do what you are asking of me here in South Africa. What will my family say, my parents, my brothers? Lord, I am prepared to do anything, but you can't expect me to be the servant of the 'least'. To my own people, the whites, yes, but to the Zulus, no, I can't do that!"
Then it seemed as if the Lord was saying, "Well, I won't force you. You are the one who asked for a revival. You wanted to have me in your midst. But when I come, I come as King, and I will have the last word." I twisted and turned in order to escape, to resist the Lord, but He wouldn't let go. He just put on more pressure, tightened the belt, and said, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."
On Judgement Day, He will put the lowliest person before us and measure our relationship to Him according to how we treated that person. That is how we can test our love for the Lord. Just take the lowliest person we know, the very lowliest, and then measure the love that we have for that person. We can't be a fraction closer to Jesus than we are to that person. That's how Jesus will judge us one day. What a shocking day that Judgement Day will be! May God grant that we are shocked now. Sometimes it is good for a person to receive a shock to make him see clearly again. "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren," says Jesus, not how we treat the greatest or most influential - but the lowliest and most despised of those who believe in Him. Can you understand now that I was shaken to the core of my soul and felt as if God was putting me through the mill? It was a terrible battle, and I cried to God, "O Lord, I can't live such a life. It goes against the grain, I just can't do it! I will lose my life!" But then His answer spoke clearly to my heart, "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."
We fight for our lives, we fight for our existence. But there is a God in heaven who makes things so difficult for us. It sometimes seems as if we'd get along much better without Him than with Him. But there is an almighty God who says, "Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." It is true that, what we sow, we reap a hundredfold. That which we do unto others, will be done unto us, only a hundred times worse, or a hundred times better, because there is a God in heaven. It would be so much easier without Him, but He makes things so difficult for us. Unless, of course, we bow to His Will and let Him be Lord of our life. But what does that mean? It doesn't mean to make Him our Lord by saying with our lips: Lord Jesus, you are Lord! To let Him be our Lord means that our way of living corresponds with His Word, that we believe as the Scripture says, and that we are obedient to Him.
One day things had gone so far that I prayed, "Lord, I can't go on like this any longer!" And the Lord answered,