Conversion and God's Call to Ministry
Chapter 1
Conversion and God's Call to Ministry
"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away." 2 Timothy 3:1-5
When God called me to preach the gospel, I refused. I had other plans and ideas. There were young men of my age to whom I often said, "I just can't understand you," and I suppose they couldn't understand me either. When they dated and kissed their girls, I declared, "I'd rather be making money than doing that." So they dated their girls, while I tried to earn money, which was of more value to me than girls. My motto was: 'Money first, the rest later.' But then the Lord Jesus entered my life.
We had a very good minister who preached better than any other minister we knew. We children had been in the habit of taking sweets along to church and, as soon as the sermons began, had usually fallen asleep or eaten our candy. But when this pastor came to us, things changed. His sermons were interesting and, best of all, very short, a fact which we found especially pleasant. Furthermore, he was quite understanding towards us children. For instance at Easter time, when the automobile races usually took place at Pietermaritzburg, we went to our minister and asked him if he couldn't shorten his sermon so that we could get to the races on time. He only preached for ten or fifteen minutes, so that we young people all agreed, "He's the right man for us!"
But in reality this pastor was a very unhappy person. At the seminary he had achieved better results in his exams than anyone else before him. A highly gifted man, but without peace in his heart, he determined to study theology, expecting that all his problems would then be solved. He spent a long time in Europe and studied there, but even so found no peace. Finally he decided to return to Africa as a missionary. His professors couldn't understand that and asked him, "Why should you want to return to Africa? Africa doesn't need a man like you. Stay here in Europe, don't waste your talents in Africa."
He answered jokingly, "You know, we have many bent bananas in South Africa. I want to try to straighten them out."
Even after he returned to his home country his heart remained in a turmoil. To overcome this he worked so hard that he finally was close to a nervous breakdown and the doctor advised him to give up his ministry for a while. In desperation he called upon an evangelist in Pretoria.
He had, in fact, a low opinion of this evangelist because many evil rumours were spread about him.
It is often a good sign if people talk badly about a person. The Bible says, "Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you" (Luke 6:26).
The devil doesn't remain silent when God is working through a certain person or at a certain place.
Now, how could a simple evangelist help such a highly-educated man? This truly believing brother could pray. While he was speaking to his visitor, he cried out to the Lord in his heart, "Lord Jesus, I pray that you will break through with your power." As they both went down on their knees and prayed, the pastor felt a light breaking through. He suddenly realised that, until now, he had never known the Lord Jesus in his life or in his heart. In childlike faith he asked the Lord to come into his heart, and it seemed to him like a miracle that as he got off his knees, he was a changed man with peace in his soul.
From then on his sermons were different and it was apparent that his life had been transformed.
Then the Lord began to work in our hearts. We were five brothers. We only went to church because our parents compelled us to go. I said to myself, "When I'm grown up, I'll throw all this religious stuff overboard." But God, in His grace, stepped in before I grew up. One Sunday while I was in church, I became conscious of the fact that I was a great sinner and that I needed Jesus.
Every time we left church, we brothers would be arguing even before we got home. I was also often disobedient towards my parents. I contradicted them time and time again and wanted to have things my own way. But now God showed me that, in His eyes, this was sin. I wept, and prayed "O God, in church I pledged
in prayers and hymns that I would live for you, but on the way home I was already arguing. You see my disobedience." I had prayed in the morning, I prayed in the evening, but my life didn't change. Step by step, though, I had grown all the more conscious of the fact that I needed Jesus to free me from my sins, from quarrelsomeness and disobedience towards my parents, if I didn't want to go to hell.
There is no such thing as small sins and large sins, as many people believe. In the epistle of James, chapter 2:10 we read, "For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all." The Lord says in Matthew 5:21-22, "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, 'Thou shalt not kill!' But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgement and whosoever shall say 'Thou fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire." Jesus will one day judge the world according to these words! Yes, I was a lost sinner, in spite of the fact that I said my prayers and went to church. God says, "The soul that sinneth, it shall die" (Ezekiel 18:4). It doesn't matter what nationality a person is, it doesn't matter if he's black or white, red or yellow. If sin rules in a person's life, that soul shall die, unless he confesses his sins and forsakes them. Otherwise we are calling God a liar. I cried to God, "Lord Jesus, I need you! Change my life and save me from my sins."
Shortly after this, God called me into the ministry. I couldn't recall that there had ever been a preacher or a missionary in my family line, so how could I become one? I loved money, it was my idol. If I became a preacher, I would be as poor as the pastors of our church. I was unwilling to go, the price was too high. So, for eighteen months, I went through hell as I rebelled against God. I prayed, "God, I can't pay that price, it's asking too much." But after those eighteen months, God made it clear to me that the price of disobedience is a thousand times greater than that of obedience. I wouldn't wish for anybody to go through what I went through.
At the end of this time of indecision, I finally prayed, "All right Lord, I will become a preacher of the gospel - on one condition: I don't want to be a preacher who entertains people on Sundays for an hour or two, who just baptises, marries and buries them. That isn't enough. I want to become a preacher who preaches the truth, I don't want to play church. It has cost me too much."
I was still quite young when I gave my life to the Lord. I had never been a bookworm; indeed I hated reading books. At school, reading was always a burden to me, but after Jesus came into my life, I loved reading the Bible, and it became my most precious book. Then I did something else. My brothers owned many worldly books and pictures of girls. I knew that these were an abomination to the Lord Jesus, so without their knowledge, I gathered all their books together, threw them into the fire and burned them.
I became engrossed in the Bible more and more. Whenever I was invited to visit friends with my family, I sought an excuse to stay at home alone, because then I could read the Word of God, I could pray and I could sing. In school I had never sung, but had always explained to the teachers that I was incapable of singing. Yet now I could hardly stop singing. I also began learning one chapter in the Bible after the other by heart, for instance John 15 and John 17. The promises in the Bible were so wonderful and precious to me, I was especially impressed by the passage in John 15:7, "If ye abide in me and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." I thought to myself, "Here is greater wealth than money. It is greater than anything the world can give us. If such a life is possible, a life in which we receive anything we ask for, (even if this were the only promise in the Bible!) how much more precious this would be than all the treasures of the world. What is the life of a person like who can pray and his prayers are answered? There could be nothing to compare with it." All these thoughts filled my heart.
I already knew what the world had to offer. There was a huge dance hall at our home where parties, engagements, and weddings took place. All the folks living in our area would gather there. So it wasn't as if I didn't know the world. I knew what it meant when people boozed and danced until the early hours of the morning. All this was done although we considered ourselves good Christians and never missed the church services. But when Jesus came into our lives, we lost all pleasure in such things and were only interested in Him and His word. All the many promises of the Bible became dearer to us than anything the world could offer.
Again and again I read John 14:12, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do, because I go unto my Father." Then I would search all the gospels to see what Jesus had said and done. I would pray and ask, "O Lord Jesus, didn't you make a mistake?" I would read again the passage in John 14:12, "...the works that I do shall he do also." And the Lord Jesus didn't stop there. He said we would do greater things, because He was going to the Father. I often reflected on this passage for days. Even in my dreams these words would occupy my thoughts. I would ask myself, "Is such a thing possible? Does that include me, for I do believe in the Lord Jesus." In the end I couldn't but accept Jesus' words. His promise was meant for everyone who believed in Him, and therefore for me as well. I should do what Jesus did and not only that, but greater things. Not because I was something