Chapter LXXVIII
"Though we be highly lifted up into contemplation by the special gift of our Lord, yet it is needful to us to have knowledge and sight of our sin and our feebleness"
OUR Lord of His mercy shews us our sin and our feebleness by the sweet gracious light of Himself; for our sin is so vile and so horrible that He of His courtesy will not shew it to us but by the light of His grace and mercy. Of four things for that it is His will that we have knowing: the first is, that He is our Ground from whom we have all our life and our being. The second is, that He keeps us mightily and mercifully in the time that we are in our sin and among all our enemies, that are fell on us; and so much we are in the more peril for that we give them occasion thereto, and know not our own need. The third is, how courteously He keeps us, and makes us to know that we go amiss. The fourth is, how steadfastly He abides us and changes no regard: for He wills that we be turned again, and joined to Him in love as He is to us.
And thus by this gracious knowing we may see our sin profitably without despair. For truly we need to see it, and by the sight we shall be made ashamed of our self and brought down as a result of our pride and presumption; for it is fitting for us truly to see that of ourselves we are right nothing but sin and wretchedness. And thus by the sight of the less that our Lord shews us, the more is reckoned which we see not. For He of His courtesy measures the sight to us; for it is so vile and so horrible that we should not endure to see it as it is. And by this meek knowing after this manner, through contrition and grace we shall be broken from all that is not our Lord. And then shall our blessed Saviour perfectly heal us, and one us to Him.
This breaking and this healing our Lord means for the general Man. For he that is highest and nearest with God, he may see himself sinful - and needs to - with me; and I that am the least and lowest that shall be saved, I may be comforted with him that is highest: so has our Lord joined us in charity; as where He shewed me that I should sin .
And for joy that I had in seeing of Him I attended not readily to that Shewing, and our courteous Lord stopped there and would not further teach me till that He gave me grace and will to attend. And hereby was I learned that though we be highly lifted up into contemplation by the special gift of our Lord, yet it is needful to us with it to have knowing and sight of our sin and our feebleness. For without this knowing we may not have true meekness, and without this meekness we may not be saved.
And afterward, also, I saw that we may not have this knowing from our self; nor from none of all our spiritual enemies: for they will us not so great good. For if it were by their will, we should not see it until our ending day. Then be we greatly seen to God for that He will Himself, for love, shew it to us in time of mercy and grace.