Chapter Eight
CHAPTER EIGHT
CONFIDENT
HE plane taxied into position on the Bangkok airfield. In the little group encircling Isobel Kuhn, throats were tight, eyes moist, fleas deep.
Gazing at each other, husband and wife must have wondered when, if ever, they would be together again. They were doing what they had determined not to do, agreeing to another protracted separation. Between them there was the understanding that John would serve another year until usual furlough was more nearly due, provided Isobel responded to the new therapy. But if she did not, he would fly to her immediately.
In good spirits that morning Isobel wired to Chiengmai Psalm 108:1, "O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give raise." The Lord was giving her inner strength as much prayer iad upon her. The Mission had arranged that Nurse Barbara
Morgan, who was about due for furlough at that time, should accompany Isobel as far as London. goodbyes were said and blue skies opened to the travellers. Then when the roar of the plane's engines faded into dead silence, friends dispersed. And John Kuhn strode off like a soldier.
Back he went to his desk, his lone vigils and long treks in the mountains.
On November 14, 1954, just three weeks after her serious surgery in North Thailand, Isobel flew in to Idlewild airport,
New York. As she scanned the faces of the waiting crowd, she 'recognized three; her own Kathy, Elden Whipple (son of Julia
Whipple, Isobel's "'spiritual mother'), and Elden's wife Marian.
After helpi her through landing formalities they assisted the traveller to their car and sped her to Philadelphia. At once she was wrapped in the embraces of friends who had long loved and _ } Headquarters for the C.I.M. in North America, where Mr. Whipple is Candidates Secretary.
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prayed for her. How unspeakably grateful she was for the security the Mission Home afforded her as a member of the Mission. "The bosom of the Mission family is a wonderful place," she said.
Best of all was to have her daughter right with her. "I arrived two days after our Kathryn was accepted by the C.I.M., with csi of sailing in February. It is unending joy for me to have er companionship. Truly the Lord has been good to me."
And Isobel quoted the R. A. Knox version of 2 Timothy 1:12, "I am not put to the blush. He to whom I have given my confidence is no stranger to me."
No; "no stranger." The Lord had schooled her for thirty years and she had discovered that confidence in Him is always rewarding. So now, enrolled in His finishing school, her advanced testings did not floor her.
She wrote to her prayer partners, "John and I are anxious that this news should not cast a gloom over you. There is no gloom in our hearts; there is no gloom in His heart as He watches over me
—why should there be in yours? Look up for His direction in praying for me; that is all."
There was certainly no trace of gloom about the letter she soon sent to her friends in tribesland. Whimsical, it came right out of her Irish heart! "When I get to heaven," she smiled, "all they will see of me will be my feet, for my body will be dangling over the parapets looking at you all in North Thailand!" Her interest in them led her to write generous reams about their rayer needs to her praying friends. Probably those friends preele hearing the detail doe Isobel's own health, and family, but usually she reserved only a few lines to speak of herself. Yet actually her own needs were acute. Her case was in the hands of an excellent cancer specialist, who was doing all in his power to relieve her; but the required treatments at the University Hospital where she went two or three times a week, were severely up- ; ' settiny.
Ta her ups and downs, the Lord had His own satisfying way of comforting Isobel. For instance, when Christmas bchilngs came, some gracious friend conceived the plan of paying Danny's plane fare, hurrying the eleven-year-old across dice coast to coast into his mother's arms. How rich she felt with both her
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CONFIDENT
children near! Especially she leaned on Kathy—''hands and fect to Mommie," Isobel exulted.
But the days were galloping along toward Kathy's sailing date.
Although Isobel's health was improving, she couldnot expect to live until her "Girlie" returned from a term on the mission field.
So one thing was practically certain; this parting would be final.
Kathryn believed God wanted her to go without delay. She was a ga to stay, however, if her mother said so.
Conflict began to build up as pros and cons flashed through Isobel's mind. On the one hand Ae wanted the girl to go. Had she not been dedicated to the Lord from the very hour of her birth? And after all, as another had expressed it, "Is anything too precious to give to Jesus?" But——! Must Kathv leave now?
If ever a mother needed her daughter was it not now?
Isobel faced the climacteric decision.
She was human. She was strongly tempted to delay Kathryn.
Years before when Isobel herself was a daughter leaving her mother and home under somewhat similar circumstances, she went straight ahead to do what she believed God wanted her to do. Now when Isobel was the mother in the case, what did she do? She did the same thing! And through repeated experiences of proving God's way perfect, she yielded to Him in good spirit.
Goodbye, little Daughter," she headed her letter telling the story:
"Tt took place after everyone had gone to bed one night. The time had come when a final decision must be made—was
Kathryn to sail on 24th February or not? There was only One who held the answer, so I asked Him to give it to me, plainly, so I could make no mistake. Immediately He gave me Luke 14:26.
Knox's version reads, 'If any man comes to me, without hating his . . . children . .
. yes, and his own life too, he can be no disciple of mine.'
"It pierced the mother-side of me, but I had asked Him for a a t word. I quivered a moment, then prayed, "All right,
Lord. But please could you give me another word—just for me myself?' And just as quickly He gave me 1 Peter 2:3, 4a—
"You have surely tasted the goodness of the Lord. Draw near to Him." It was enough—a dear familiar pillow on which to rest my
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"As a mother, don't I shrink from sending such a young girl out to the war-threatened Orient in these days? On my calendar one day this month there was this text and comment on Mark
14:5: 'It might have been sold. But thank God, it wasn't.'
What if Mary of Bethany had used her alabaster box for herself?
And I shuddered to think of the loss it would have been to us all.
Mary's sacrifice has sent many a young life to the ends of the earth with the message of salvation. And I have myself seen what her story has meant to those on the far hilltops of Lisuland.
So I echoed devoutly, "Thank God, it wasn't.' Only a girl, only one young life, but none of us can measure what He can do with it.
"Kathryn and I are both emotional by nature; our hearts are easily rent and we suffer deeply. Our friends have been prayi for us and I want to tell you how wonderfully God has pe
First of all we faced the fact together that the indulgence of grief profits nothing and can do much harm to the nervous system.
It is always hardest for the one left behind, for memory can claw at the heart. Because of this we planned to say the real goodbye in our bedroom in Philadelphia. Then I went to the ship, but did not stay to see it sail. I went on board and saw her cabin, met her cabinmates and then left with a friend. The next day my friend put me on a train and I came on here to Wheaton and Danny.
"I have since had a letter from Kathryn, mailed from Halifax, and she said, 'Mummy, I didn't shed a tear when the ship pulled out.' For Kathryn, this is a miracle, and we thank those who prayed. Such self-discipline does not make the heart hard or shallow. I have had eighteen years of it, and I know. But it saves nervous strength for situations where tension is inescapable.
Even so, without the Lord's help, such discipline is not possible."
Perhaps it helped both mother and daughter to know that Kathy would be welcomed in Singapore by her father. John
Kuhn had just arrived there, where he served temporarily on the"
Headquarters Staff as an Assistant Overseas Director. Meanwhile, Danny, after the Christmas holidays, had the good care of the Ernest Carlburgs, house parents in the C.I.M. children's hostel in Wheaton.
After Kathy's sailing Isobel went to tuck Dan under her }
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CONFIDENT
- motherly wing, and settle into her Wheaton home nest at 123 Scott Street. By that time she was feeling the benefit of the _ Philadelphia therapy and strong enough to do some light housekeeping.
___ Ima letter giving a picture of her fledgling she gives one of herself too.
"Each morning as Dan disappears down the three flights of steps, he calls back, 'Mom! May I bring one of the fellows home from school today?' (If Mom's larder is flourishing there will be a treat for them!) That day it was Phil Cox he had in tow, next day it was David Rockness." Both were sons of C.I.M. missionaries. Isobel not only ransacked her refrigerator for them, but held them enthralled with true stories of their parents' hairbreadth experiences in China.
But that was Isobel; always out-going to young people! For years she had more than entertained Dan by reading to him.
As he curled up beside her they shared many hours of close comradeship.
; Isobel organized her time so she could also work at her writing.
For a pastime in Philadelphia she had begun the chapters included as Part Two in this volume. Now she put the Vistas aside for more serious work on Ascent to the Tribes,} considered one of her best books. She finished it that year of 1955.
During the summer Isobel spent some time in New York State and Pennsylvania. Beside checking again with her specialist in Philadelphia, she had some speaking engagements at conferences.
For years she and Miss Bessie Traber, founder of the Bible Club Movement, had strengthened one another's hands in the Lord, like David and Jonathan. Miss Traber invited her to give the missionary addresses at the B.C.M. Senior Camp and also the Leaders' Camp. But the dates so nearly coincided with those of her next engagement that Isobel needed to make quick connections. To help her, George Sutherland, who had been "Uncle
George" to Kathy for years, offered to chauffeur Isobel from Sankanac to Keswick Grove, New Jersey.
At the Camp one day, Isobel got a long distance call from Mr.
Sutherland. Aker some of his characteristic banter, he completely 1 Published 1956 by Moody Press in U.S.A. and by the C.LM. in Great Britain
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overwhelmed her with great news: her husband had cabled. At that moment John was hopping across oceans and continents to reach her. Due to arrive soon!
When John came in at the airport George Sutherland was there to nieet him. He telephoned Isobel at once. Adding Mrs.
Sutherland to the party, they drove like racers to the Camp.
At the end of the road John saw his wife waiting for him on ie ee With quick steps they were united; thankful pounding earts were close, exuberant!
In all the joy of that day, however, no one could quite forget a haunting fact—John and Isobel Kuhn were facing one more separation.
When would that last parting come?
As they stood side by side on the Keswick platform their victorious spirit gave emphasis to every word they said. In that sacred session there was hardly a dry eye in the room. God was glorified. Who could deny that a God "able to save after this sort" is a great God of wonders, worthy of the utmost confidence? The witness of their lives and lips was wholly convincing.
After that conference John and Isobel stopped to share their experiences with their fellow-missionaries at the C.I.M. in Philadelphia. Isobel, pretty in a flowery hat, was pink-cheeked and gay with excitement. She looked remarkably well and strong. In November she wrote, "We give thanks for the Lord's goodness in supplying strength to keep our autumn speaking schedules. Mine was very light perforce, but at Washington,
Philadelphia, and Lancaster areas it was possible to meet with praying friends and mutually encourage one another."
On one of those Sundays in autumn, Isobel spoke in a service where the writer and her husband were present. We were impressed both with the simplicity of her message and its influence as we felt the grip of the Holy Spirit on our hearts that morning.
E Meeting her again in Wheaton, Isobel, in a private conversation, mentioned that her trouble was progressing and that the doctor advised further surgery. "I'm not going to have it," she declared. Of course, like anyone else she dreaded the ordeal.
But for a different reason she was ready to forego the relief it :
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CONFIDENT
_ might give. "It wouldn't be a cure, just arrest the trouble temporarily, and prolong my life. As it is, I'm an expense to the Mission, and detaining John from going back to the field work."
It was a reaction typical of Isobel's attitude; conscientious about the Mission's treasury, and concerned that the Gospel have every riority.
"But Isobel," I protested strongly, "your life is too valuable to the Mission not to extend it if possible! Don't you realize that what you say now has ten times the significance it had when you were able-bodied? Besides, what about your writing? Why not write your own life story?" (At that time I had no idea that I would ever be entrusted with her biography.) There were only a few minutes for our intense conversation. I felt convinced that Isobel inwardly yearned for an incentive to go on living.
Essentially she needed to be needed. Later, when ah sought and found the Lord's guidance, she dropped me a note.
"Lam to be operated on after all by Dr. Adolph's colleague on 31st December at 8 a.m., and it is partly the result of your last talk with me. As you suggested another book, the Lord gave me the theme for one! But I had no time to write before Christmas. I had to prepare for company. The Harrisons and Jacksons? were with us and we had a wonderful time. But the disease is growing rapidly, and I knew if I were to go on writing after istmas something must be done to retard it. So I consented to the surgery. I know you will pray and ask others to. And then pray 'og a and strength to write? If it is His will."
Comparative well-being followed.
Quite conscious, however, that her life could not continue very much longer, she wrote her brother Murray a letter unique in expression of confidence in the Lord. This he kindly offered
_ for use in this story.
"February 18, 1956 "My dear Murray, "Thank you so much for writing to me the kind of letter you thought I would prefer. I did, and appreciate it very much.
"T think the difference between our faiths is that mine has led 1 John Kuhn's sister and brother-in-law and their married daughter and her husband.
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" me to know God. You say that you have felt rebellious at wha' has happened to me, but I don't feel the least so! I have proved
God so often that I know He only chooses the best for me. I do not say He chose this disease, but He allowed it. When He allows an evil, it is for the purpose of bringing greater blessing than if it had not happened. He makes Satan overstep himself' and then takes spoils from him. m "I was startled at first, to hear that I was not going to live.
But then—I never did want to live till I grew feeble and useless.
How grateful I am that that is not to be! To be allowed to die in harness was always a dear hope of mine, and God is granting it.
Although I have discomfort I am not in actual pain yet, and I am able to write for the Mission. Just because I am sick people value what I write twice as much as they did before, so I feel that I am still earning my way, so to speak. The Mission would support me in any case, but it isa very happy thing to me to be able to do something of value.
"TI thoroughly enjoy each day. I am not allowed out, but I have big sunny windows with a pleasant view, and my room is full of flowers. Everybody is so kind to me. People I don't know, but who have heard me speak, send me things. I lack nothing I could wish for. The Lord is so good to me.
"You say I have a life well-lived. I am glad that I gave my life to Christ when I was young, but that is not my satisfaction. I am trusting only in Christ's merits for salvation; my own life has been too full of faults and failures to be worth anything.
"But because I have had daily fellowship with God (through Christ), I expect to have it on the Other Side. And I know God so well that I am sure He will have delightful work for me to do
Up There. The Bible does not teach that, but experience with God makes me sure it will be so. And then I have so many dear ones in heaven. Besides Father and Mother, there are many Lisu whom I love dearly, and even one from Thailand. So the other, side of the dark valley is very bright. There will be that period of pain first, and I appreciate your prayers that it be short. I am no heroine, and don't look forward to it. But once there, the Lord will surely have help for me. He has never failed me nor forsaken me. So you see I figs every reason to be happy. Daany would be my biggest reason for wanting to stay, of course. But
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_ having a mother in heaven may help him spiritually—how do I _ know? I know I can trust the dear Lord who has guided me unfailingly up to now.
"I don't know how people face life with its trials without Him. I know many just try not to think. That is so sad to me.
When they could have this wonderful moment by moment fellowship and comradeship. I am so grateful He led me to Himself when I was young so sie I could have this long earthly walk with Him. I recommend Him as a peerless Master.
"The doctor has been giving me some new medicine that has slowed things up a little, and given me a bit of temporary strength. Sathepwise I do not write personal letters but save my strength for the writing for the Mission.
"I do appreciate your love and this handshake across the continent, and I send mine in return. John and Danny join me with much love.
"Your little sister, "Isobel."
In this mood, Isobel's letter echoed one written by St. Paul long ago when he quietly said, "We are confident, I say, and illing rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord. Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of Him."
Isobel lived just a year and a month after writing the letter to her brother. She hardly expected to live that long. slit PEBQ
CHAPTER NINB
IN CHRIST'S COMPANY
E will not get leave to steal quickly to Heaven, in Christ's company, without a conflict and a cross" (Samuel Rutherford). Isobel borrowed joy from companionship with Christ and from the sure hope He set before her. For years He had been known to her as the Alpha, the author of her faith. Now she trusted Him as the Omega, its finisher. She held fast her confidence in His great objective—He would one day present her faultless before the presence of God's glory with exceeding joy.
She dared believe this, imperfect as she was; for she had the assurance of Scripture in Jude 24!
Meanwhile her loss of health brought about much gain for Christ.
Her last months were like an autumn with its highest colours and fullest fruit. Almost daily she worked away at her writing with much steady purpose and self-discipline. And she enjoyed it. "To go back over God's dealings with me," she commented,
"and His multitudinous lovingkindnesses is in itself a thrill and a blessing. How good is the God we adore!'' With satisfaction she went on to say, "We have a little four-roomed apartment, and a home to ourselves is a luxury which I have learned to appreciate. Always on the field we had fellow-workers living with us, and hardly ever knew the privacy of a meal just to ourselves."
Above the Kuhns' apartment, Ella Graham made her home on the third floor. She and Isobel had long been friends having roomed together in Language School in China. Now as,
Isobel's strength ebbed, Ella's sympathy flowed. Selflessly she prepared meals, kept the house, shopped and nursed. Surely through Mrs, Graham, His ministering angel, the Lord bore the invalid's grief and carried her sorrows right to the end! Without this willing help Isobel never could have written three books and part of a fourth during that year of 1956.
IN CHRIST'S COMPANY
YS Quite a bit of her life story she scattered in three of these. books. "I have always been inclined to criticize people who wrote themselves up," she admitted. "Or allowed biographies to be printed while they were alive. The Lord could never have persuaded me to write mine if He had not done just what He did do—tied me up to this and only this, with the promise that I'd be away before it came out in print!"
There were still some things unsaid, however. So the writer as her biographer was commissioned to gather them together with other waite materials, to snip and sew them into one whole story. In this project, both John and Isobel were very co-operative.
In November, 1956 we went to Wheaton with Mr. and Mrs.
Herbert Griffin especially to see the invalid. It was then that we observed for ourselves what Mr. Griffin had previously noted—
Isobel's ability to suffer and to keep bright about it. She confessed that at first her imagination gave her a bad time. "If I coughed
I immediately had lung cancer (although X-rays showed the chest clear). If I had a toothache then I was getting cancer of the mouth, But when I asserted my right to a sound mind (2 Timothy
1:7) these fears left me: 'For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.' "
It was not an easy victory nor a battle fought once for all to a finish. Over and over she had to swing at her subtle enemy with the sword of the Lord.
"For me to let myself imagine how or when the end would come was not only unprofitable, it was definitely harmful, so I had to bring my thoughts into captivity that they might not dishonour Christ. The best way to do this, I found, was to engage in some interesting work. It makes for health to have a goal and keep on striving for it. Of course I realize that the Lord has been especially good to me in giving me work which is so congenial.'
Usually Isobel reserved the morning hours for writing and did not welcome any interruptions before noon, for she had discovered that afternoon and evening work might result in a restless night. She was expecting us that November morning, however, and gave herself to us. Shortly before our visit, walking had become too painful for her, so she was in bed. a
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ag aie Fresh and attractive in a pretty dressing-gown, she looked so entirely herself that it was almost impossible at first sight to regard her as a mortally sick woman. However, her easy excitability and fatigue was the characteristic of a very ill person.
Her keen mind, however, raced along. Faster than my pencil could follow! When John tried to save her by answering my questions, she would not have it. She took the words out of his mouth! Out rolled the stories. Some were serious, some hilarious; all were fascinating.
But she was nies and interrupted herself to take a pain pill.
Yet she wanted to go on as long as possible.
Neatly placed in a chest drawer of Isobel's room were her diaries, notebooks, photographs and an almost complete file of her circular letters. They dated from her early years as a missionary. How glad she was that once, when war scattered things and people, she mailed these treasures of hers out of China! Without access to them in Wheaton, she never could have put forth such volumes of virile writing.
In the opinion of many her last and most mature work was her best. Ascent to the Tribes and By Searching are probably unequalled by her earlier writings: and she was able to picture the missionary enterprise in unforgettable words.
And the real marvel is that the pains piercing Isobel's body were not transmitted from her pen to the pages of her books!
Though with utmost frankness she shared her trials of past years, she quietly ignored her sick-room miseries. It was an entirely unconscious testimony, impressive and significant. She was like the bird in a lilting verse she once NS years earlier:
"Let us learn, like a bird, for a moment to take Sweet rest on a branch that is ready to break,
She feels the branch breaking yet calmly she sings, Why fear? Why tremble? She has wings! She has wings!"
Anon.
On wings of the Spirit she balanced on her breaking branch, John sharing with her hours of prayer. But she did not stop at — praying for her beloved Lisu, she kept on corresponding with them. Also she contributed articles to Spiritual Food, a mimeo- — gtaphed periodical especially designed to encourage the tribal
IN CHRIST'S COMPANY
Christian refugees who had slipped into Burma over China's a back wall of mountains. Some of the Lisu responses—Lucius' letter, for instance—thrilled her: "All the evangelists are safe and the R.S.B.S. began with nearly eighty students." And he mentioned 30 villages in his circuit, 270 Christian families, 700 po eR And this was a one hundred per cent indigenous harvest.
Of course such zeal all grew from seed planted and tilled originally by J. O. Fraser, the Allyn Cookes, John and Isobel Kuhn and others of the pioneer missionary group. In cultivating the southwest China field, their work was not in vain in the Lord.
This Isobel knew.?
No wonder Isobel could declare that though she had less and less strength and more and more pain, "These cancer years have been among my happiest"!
Topping all else came the glad news of Kathryn's engagement to a missionary after their own heart, Donald Rulison. "I just sing with joy for Don and Kathy," the mother exulted. "We love Don and our hearts rest in the thought of him taking a of our Kathy." At once the parents sent off the wedding ess.
Isobel's 55th birthday, a cheery one, was followed by a Christmas, merry with family fellowship and worship. Isobel was up and in her wheel chair.
Then in a Prayer Trust letter for January 1, 1957, Isobel wrote, _ "My verse for xa New Year is Isaiah 46:9, 10, 'I am God, and there is none like me. Declaring the end from the beginning. .. .
My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure.' It is wonderful to have the guidance of one's life determined by One who knows the future as well as the past. There is rest in turning over the helm to Him.
1 But what she did not then know was that Lisu Job Fish (who had once saved her life) would make his way to North Thailand in 1957. did not know that he would be joined by another evangelist and m Burma, to help to evangelize the demon-worshipping Lisu
FE 3 ge two tribesmen would collaborate with the Allyn Cookes and Cranes in translating the Old Testament into the Lisu script. not know that in 1958 the Lord would answer another of the of years by bringing four brave Lisu over the mountains on a EEE "1 a
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- "So Ho! for the Pilot's orders Whatever course He takes— For He sees beyond the skyline & And He never makes mistakes." and she signed the letter, "Yours in the certainties of Calvary."
Finally one day in February Isobel laid down her pen. She closed the large loose-leaf binder she had been using while finishing the Intimate Vistas. Her handwriting had become increasingly cramped and illegible towards the end of the oe and she condensed her conclusion as if hurrying to a close.
And the pen dropped from her hand.
Had not she herself, like a pen in God's hand, written the name of Jesus on many a heart?
Her life motto, God first had become a copy for others to trace after her. Who knows how many missionaries, natio and foreign, already have been moved to action by Isobel Kuhn's pointed pen?
But when the pen had to be put aside, her days were filled in with reading, receiving callers and necessarily with more resting.
For a while John and Isobel seemed to be spending their days in an air castle in sunny North Thailand, where the Rulison nuptials were to take place at Chiengmai. Isobel was living for the news of that occasion. And she did not have to wite koa
Even the wedding pictures were promptly whisked over the seas by air. And when she slipped them into a folder she had prepared, they fitted exactly! j About that time John wrote to some intimate friends. "We might not have Isobel with us much longer now. . . . It is a satisfaction to be by her side. The grace of the Lord is richly manifested through her."
Then one day Mr. and Mrs. Morris Rockness called, bound, for their responsible post at C.I.M. headquarters in Singapore.
They were zor moved as Isobel expressed to them her confidence and longing. It came out in one contented sentence: "Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word, for mine eyes have seen thy salvation" (Luke 2:29, 30).
Soon after that, God granted Isobel Kuhn's desire. Vision dawned to full realization on March 20, 1957.
nd quiet ck had supported her oe up to the es. Hers was not the tragedy of a premature death but the triumph of a fulfilled ministry. "If1 was ever near Heaven," he said, "and if I ever was conscious that death has lost its sting, it was then." r i t t
ONE
The story of a girl who deliberately threw away her life — ' and found it.
| Isobel Kuhn, as a young graduate, felt called to China as a missionary. Abandoning the bright career predicted for — her, she started training despite her parents' initial opposition: her ministry with her husband would be to the Lisu tribes, whom her writings were to bring to international attention, and to whom she would devote most of her life.
'How could anyone then foresee how remarkably she would demonstrate one of Christ's greatest paradoxes?' comments
Carolyn Canfield.
' Whosoever will save his life shall lose it; and whosoever will lose his life for my sake, shall find it.'
Published jointly with the Overseas Missionary Fe United Kingdom £1.25
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