CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER TWO
GETTING MARRIED IS NOT A PRIVATE AFFAIR
AFTER ALL
IN Kunming, provincial capital of Yunnan, the China Inland . Mission had two houses. One was the Guest House and business centre, which served all our missionaries in the province. The other was the home of the missionary couple who supervised the work in the local church, and in the many outstations which had been established in country towns within a wide radius around the city. John was staying at the Guest House and I was with the church workers, and the hostess at each place took a keen interest in our wedding. Let us call them Mrs. A and Mrs. B.
Mrs. A was the ascetic type who felt that missionaries should live with the nationals and be as self-denying as possible. Mrs. B who was in charge of the Guest House, had a distinct gift for arranging her home in an attractive style, and did not feel it wrong to spend a little money to maintain it thus. As many of our Yunnan workers lived in the mountains among the tribes where life was primitive and hard, she felt that, on the few occasions which brought them out to civilization for medical or dental treatment, they should have comfortable rooms and good food. It is obvious that two such opposite opinions of missionary living would not always agree.
Now my own idea of a wedding was of an occasion so sacred that one would not wish many onlookers. By nature I am the solitaire who does not enjoy crowds. I had also to learn that John was my opposite in this, and that, to him, the more people there were around the more joy it gave him. However, men are usually shy on their wedding day, and he was with me in wanting only a few people to be present when we exchanged our vows tise the Lord.
It was customary for the hostess at the Guest House to assume the responsibility of entertainment in lieu of the bride's mother,
ONE VISION ONLY
so we proceeded to confide in Mrs. B our wish that only a select few be present.
Now in some of these Far Eastern countries the white community does not often have reason for a celebration together, so a weddingis regarded as a social affair. I had noted a peculiar expression pass over Mrs. B's face when I first intimated that we did not wish a crowd at our wedding, but she kindly repressed her own sentiments and left me none the wiser. Shopping one day, however, I was stopped by a lady of another mission. She was a sympathetic, motherly soul and gave my hand a warm squeeze.
"My dear," she said, "I hear that you are to be married!
Well, I just love weddings. You won't mind if I just slip into the back seat and look on, will you? I don't want anything to eat, you understand!" This last was added hurriedly, much to my amusement. It was obvious now that she was thinking our plans for such a small affair might have a financial reason! I could not be blunt and say, "It's because I don't want halfstrangers at such a sacred moment."' There was nothing to do but to invite warm-hearted Mrs. X to come. So I asked Mrs. B to prepare for one more. Again there came that quizzical smile, but nothing was said, and I went blissfully on.
But the next day another lady stopped me on the street, and asked to come in on that back bench at our wedding! And she also was profuse in her assurance that she did not need anything to eat! I invited her, too. What else could one do?
When I reported this to Mrs. B she looked anxious. "Miss Miller," she said, "I do not see how you can possibly invite
Mrs. X and Mrs. Z and leave out Mrs. Y. Mrs. Y is an old friend of the Mission. She would never dream of giving a wedding and not inviting me, for instance. And Mrs. X is a comparative newcomer. And if Mrs. W heard that X, Y, and Z were invited and she left out! Dear me, I am sorry, but I do not know where you are going to draw the line. I do hope this wedding of yours will not cause ill feelings." And she looked at me anxiously. After the * wedding we would be going to our station and would seldom see these people again, but Mrs. B must continue to live amon: them. We saw the point and, to cut a long story short, we pear up sb the inevitable—all the Westerners of Kunming were invited,
GETTING MARRIED IS NOT A PRIVATE AFFAIR AFTERALL
But this was not the end of our problems. One evening, some _ days before the wedding, my hostess Mrs. A appeared at the supper table looking rather fatigued but triumphant.
I've been all day working over at the Peng Gardens, getting some rooms ready for you and John to occupy for your honeymoon,' she announced. "There is no reason why you should spend money going across the lake, when the C.I.M. still has a lease on that place. You have Yin-chang and his bride to cook for you, and you will have a lovely time right among the Chinese."' It sounded reasonable and I was quite overwhelmed with her kindness in labouring so for us. I was not slow to tell
Mrs. B of this unexpected graciousness. But I was quite unprepared for Mrs. B's reaction.
"Oh, but you can't do that!" she almost wailed. "I've arranged for you to rent the honeymoon cottage across the lake. It does not cost much for a week. I meant to send your meals over to you by boat, so you would be quite alone with all those lovely walks and the climb to the temple and the Chinese village to visit. Peng's Gardens? And Yin-chang to cook for you! Why, he and his wife would watch everything you did—with the Peng family to aid them, A honeymoon comes only once in a lifetime. Oh, I do hope you won't feel you have to accept just because Mrs. A spent a morning cleaning the place up!" It was easy to see that Mrs. B was distressed over the matter. At the same time Mrs. A was quite taking it for granted that we were going to Peng Gardens, and telling people so. John and I retired or consultation.
"Well, let's go to Peng Gardens,"' said John, "Since Mrs. A has gone to such trouble, and it is true we would have Yin-chang to do the cooking for us."
"But Mrs. B has brought out a point that we were too inexperienced to foresee for ourselves,'
I replied thoughtfully. "If I remember rightly you yourself have been telling me that in Chinese eyes, the chaste and high-minded newlyweds observe the greatest indifference to one another in public. They are never seen to to one another until the first child is born—didn't you say that? And they never call each other by their first names ; the bride refers to him as the person outside the house and the groom refers to her as the person inside the house. When we begin to live
ONE VISION ONLY
among the Chinese we must be careful to conform to their ideas in this manner, but I certainly hope I can have at least one week when I may treat you and be treated normally. And just think how curious the Pengs and Yin-chang would be; we would be watched every moment."
"Well, that is true. So then we'd better decide to go across the lake, eh!"
"That would be ideal, as Mrs. B advised. But seeing that feeling is running rather warm between the two, as to whose advice we are to take, I think the most important matter is not where to go, but how we can avoid resentment between Mrs. A and Mrs. B over the matter. After all, we will be leaving here and seldom returning. But they must continue to live just around the corner from one another ad infinitum. I would prefer that they both be disgusted with us, rather than that anything resembling a root of bitterness spring up between them. Is it necessary to have_a honeymoon at all ?
Can we not go right off to our station!"
"No, we can't do that. There's no night train. We've got to spend our wedding night somewhere near here. There's no town where we get off the train and no place to hire coolies for our luggage and your mountain chair. I've already arranged that rh coolies come over the mountain from Chengchiang and meet a certain train on a certain day. We have to make that connection or we'll be in a pickle for sure."
"Well, what can we i 2" we thought and thought.
"Ts there no third place we can go for a honeymoon, dear ?"
I asked at length. ""You've been here for other weddings!"
"Yes," John said, "most missionaries go across the lake to that cottage Mrs. B is talking about. But there is a French hotel, you know. Business people sometimes go there, I believe. But my, that costs!'
The French hotel was run on European lines by a European _ manager and mainly catered to the French population of Kunming who, being officials in the Salt Gabelle or other industries were usually i people. But the arrival of the mail from America brought a deciding factor. There was a letter from John's father in which he enclosed a substantial cheque as a wedding gift for us!
"Here we are, Belle!" John cried, grinning and waving that
Ly eee en B, :
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_ GETTING MARRIED IS NOTA PRIVATE AFFAIR AFTERALL
$5 important piece of slim paper. "Here is enough for a week's honeymoon at the French hotel!"
"Good," I made answer, "Dear Daddy Kuhn, bless his heart!
Mrs. B will be as horrified at our extravagance as Mrs. A. But it is not misusing any money given for Mission purposes. It has absolutely no tags on it. We'll let Daddy Kuhn give us our honeymoon." And so it was settled.
The news of our decision caused both Mrs. A and Mrs. B to throw up their hands in dismay, as we had foreseen; but this unexpected unity of opinion paved the way for doing the best they could for such reckless youngsters who had yet to learn
C.I.M. economies.
I always thought that our wedding was the most beautiful of any that I ever saw. We were married in the Chinese church, and the good ladies had transformed it until the whole looked like a lawn party in the woods! It was a completely happy day.
As we rode off in rickshas for the French hotel, we turned to wave to our group of friends. And there were our two dear hostesses, standing in unconscious union, trying to wave hopefully to us, but each dubiously shaking her head over those unmanageable and extravagant Kuhns!