not only to enter on trials, but, being approved, to preach the gospel as
work, and want of clearness for entering on such a great work at that time. I had notwithstanding some desire to that work, which desire my conscience bears me witness, did not arise from the desire of worldly gain, for I would have desired that then, and would go on in the work now, though there were no such thing to be had by it, yea through grace, though I should meet with trouble for it. Neither was it the love of vain glory, Lord, you know, but that I might be capable to do something for God. I remember, that when I was a boy at the school, I desired to be a preacher of the gospel, because of all men ministers were most taken up about spiritual things. This my desire to the work did then run upon.
4. The call of the church, which I had without any motion from myself, not only to enter on trials, but, being approved, to preach the gospel as a probationer for the ministry; which does say, that what I have done in this work, I have not done without a call from God in an ordinary way, and that I have not run unsent. For confirmation of this my call, I refer to my Diary, some things to this purpose being noted there, all which I cannot here set down. Perhaps, if leisure permit, I shall extract them by themselves in order. Blessed be the Lord that made my darkness as noon day.
Secondly, Christ designed his Father's glory in the work. It was not honour, applause, and credit from men that he sought, but purely the Father's glory. Men that design not this, cannot be useful to the church. This all actions are to level at; it is what in all things should be designed as the ultimate end. Whether therefore you eat or drink, or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God. You see then that you, O my soul, must follow Christ in this, if you would be a fisher of men. Lift up your heart to this noble end, and in all, especially in your preaching of the gospel, keep this before your eyes. Beware of seeking your own glory by preaching. Look not after popular applause; if you do, you have your reward (Matt. 6:2), look for no more. O my soul, invert not the order, Cant. 8:12, "You, O Solomon, must have a thousand, and those who keep the fruit thereof two hundred." Have a care of taking a thousand to yourself, and giving God only two hundred. Let his