forward towards heaven, my affections are going out after Christ, and
me, though in weakness. And, Lord, you know that my great desire is to catch men, and to get for that end my whole furniture from you, laying aside my own wisdom. And if I could do this, how satisfying would it be to my soul, that desires to do good to others, though I myself should perish? Therefore do I not spare this weak body, and therefore have I desired never to be idle, but to go unsent for sometimes. Yet my conscience tells me of much slackness in this point, when I have been in private with people, and have not reproved them as I ought, when they offended, being much plagued with want of freedom in private converse. This I have in the Lord's strength resolved against, and have somewhat now amended it. [2.] It vents itself in indignation against sin in myself and others. Many times have I thought on that of the apostle, Yea, what revenge! when I have been overcome by a temptation, being content as it were to be revenged on myself, and as it were content to subscribe a sentence of damnation against myself, and so to justify the Lord in his just proceedings against me. And, Lord, do not I hate those who hate you I am I not grieved with those who rise up against you? The reproaches cast on you, have fallen on me, Ps. 49:9 And my heart rises and is grieved, when I see transgressors, that they keep not your law. [3.] It vents itself in grieving for those things that I cannot help. Lord, you know how weighty the sins of this land have been unto me, how they have lien and do lie somewhat heavy on me; and at this time in particular, the laxness of many in joining with the people of these abominations, the unfaithfulness of some professors, the lack of zeal for God in not making a more narrow search for the accursed thing in our camp, now when God's wrath is going out violently against us, and not making an acknowledgment of sins and renewing our national vows, according as our progenitors did, many as it were thinking shame of the covenant, of whom the Church of Scotland may be ashamed.
4. Growth and motion is an evidence of life; (Ps. 92:12, 13, 14). I move forward towards heaven, my affections are going out after Christ, and endeavouring to make progress in a Christian walk. I think I discern a growth of these graces in me. (1.) Of knowledge and acquaintance with Christ, 2 Pet. 3:18. I am more acquainted with Christ and his
ways than before. Though I have not such uptakings of Christ as I ought to have, yet I have more than I have had in this respect sometimes before. (2.) A growth of love. If my heart deceive me not, I have found love to Christ within this month more lively and vigorous than before, my soul more affected with his absence from ordinances than ever. (3.) Of faith. I can, I think, trust God more now than before. I have had more experience of his goodness and knowledge of his name; and therefore think I can cast my burden on the Lord better than before. But it is easy swimming when the head is held up. Lord, increase my faith. I believe, Lord, help my unbelief. (4.) Of watchfulness. I have felt the sad effects of unwatchfulness over my heart in times past. I feel the good of watchfulness now; my soul is habitually more watchful than before; neither dare I give such liberty to my heart as sometimes I gave. Yet for all this the Lord may well complain of me, that he is broken with my wanton heart. But, Lord, you know it is also breaking to myself that it is so. The Lord seal these things to me. (5.) Of contempt of the world, which, blessed, be God, is on the increase with me.
Secondly, Following Christ implies a knowledge of the way that Christ took. No man can follow the example of another as such, unless he know what way he lived. So neither can any man follow Christ with respect to the catching of men in particular, unless he know Christ's way of catching souls, that is, so far as it may be followed by us. Acquaint then yourself, O my soul, with the history of the gospel wherein this appears, and take special notice of these things, that you may follow Christ. What a sad case must they be in that are not acquainted with this!
Thirdly, It supposes sense of weakness, and the need of a guide. A man that knows a way, and can do well enough without a guide, needs not follow another. And surely the want of this is the reason why many run before Christ, and go farther than his example ever called them; and others take a way altogether different from Christ's way, which is the product of their own conceited hearts and airy heads. But you, O my soul, acknowledge yourself as a child in these matters, that cannot
go unless it be led; as a stranger in a desert place, that cannot keep the right way without a guide. Acknowledge and be affected with your own weakness and emptiness, which you may well be persuaded of. And for this end reflect seriously, 1. On that word, 2 Cor. 2:1 6. Who is sufficient for these things? No man is of himself sufficient; even the greatest of men come short of sufficiency. This may make you then to be affected with insufficiency, who are so far below these men, as shrubs are below the tall cedars; and yet they cannot teach it of themselves. 2. Consider the weight of the work, even of preaching, which is all that you have to do now. It is the concern of souls. By the foolishness of preaching it pleases the Lord to save them that believe, and as you thought yesterday [Jan. 22, 1699], before you went to the pulpit, it may seal the salvation of some, and the damnation of others. To preach in the Spirit, in the power and demonstration thereof, is no easy matter. Thy pitiful gifts will not fit you for this. 3. Reflect on what you are when God is pleased to desert thee; how then you tug and row, but it will not do, either in studying or delivering sermons. I think you have had as much of this as may teach you to beware of taking your burden on your own soul, but to cast it on the Lord. [See Diary, June 3, July 3, Dec. 31, 1698. Jan. 6, 1699, etc.] 4. Consider what a small portion you know of God. When you are at the best, and when you are in your meridian, yet how low are you? and how far short you come of what you should be at. Lastly, consider that though you had gifts like an angel, yet you can not convert a soul unless Christ be with you to do the work. Therefore acknowledge yourself a weak creature, insufficient for the work; and go not out in your own strength, but in the name of the Lord; and so although you are but as a stripling, you may be helped to cast down the great Goliaths that defy the armies of the living God.
Fourthly; It implies a renouncing of our own wisdom. It must not be the guide that we must follow, Matt. 16:24. Paul would not preach with wisdom of words, 1 Cor. 1:17; he did not follow the rules of carnal wisdom. Therefore, O my soul, renounce your own wisdom. Seek the wisdom that is from above; seek to preach the words of the living God, and not your own. Since you were most set to take this way,
and prayed most that you might not preach what might be the product of your own wisdom and natural reason, but what might be given you of the Holy Ghost, you have found that God has signally countenanced you. Take not the way of natural wisdom, follow not the rules of carnal wisdom. Its language will always be, Master, spare yourself; have a care of your credit and reputation among men. If you speak freely, they will call you a railer, and your preaching reflections; every parish will scare at you as a monster of men, and one who would preach them all to hell; and so you shall not be settled. Such and such a man, that has a great influence in a parish, will never like you. That way of preaching is not the way to gain people; that startles them at the very first. You may bring them on by little and little, by being somewhat smooth, at least at the first: for this generation is not able to abide such doctrine as that you preach. But hear you and follow the rules of the wisdom that is from above: for the wisdom of the world is foolishness with God; what is in high esteem among men, is nought in the sight of God. The wisdom that is from above will tell you, that you must be denied to your credit and reputation, etc., Matt. 16:24; Luke 14:26. It will tell you, Let them call you what they will, that you must cry aloud, and spare not; lift up your voice like a trumpet, etc., Is. 58:1. It will tell you, that God has appointed the bounds of men's habitation, Acts 17:26. It will tell you, that not many wise, not many mighty, not many noble, are called, etc., i Cor. 1:29. Whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear, you shall speak God's words unto them, Ezek. 2:7. It will shew you rules quite contrary to those of carnal wisdom. Let me consider then what carnal wisdom says to me, and what the wisdom from above says.
CARNAL WISDOM.
Thy body is weak, spare it, and weary it not; it cannot abide toil, labour, and weariness; spare yourself then.
Labour to get neat and fine expressions; for these do very much commend a preaching to the learned; and without these they think nothing of it.
Endeavour to be somewhat smooth in preaching, and calm; and do not go out upon the particular sins of the land, or of the persons to whom you preach.
SPIRITUAL WISDOM.
Your body is God's as well as your spirit; spare it not for glorifying God, 1 Cor. 6:20. " In weariness and painfulness," 2 Cor. 11:27. "He gives power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increases strength," Is. 40:29. This you have experienced.
Christ sent you to "preach the gospel not with wisdom of words," 1 Cor. 1:17. Go not to them with "excellency of speech, or of wisdom," 1 Cor. 2:1. Let not your speech and preaching be with "the enticing words of man's wisdom," ver. 4.
"Cry aloud, and spare not, lift up your voice like a trumpet: shew my people their sins," Is. 58:1. —
If you will not do so, they will be irritated against you, and may create you trouble; and what a foolish thing would it be for you to speak boldly to such a generation as this, whose very looks are terrible?
It is a dangerous way to speak freely, and condescend on particulars: there may be more hazard in it than you are aware of.
You will be looked on as a fool, as a monster of men; you will be called a railer; and so lose your reputation and credit, and you had need to preserve that. Men will hate and abhor thee; and why should you expose yourself to these things?
"Open rebuke is better than secret love," Prov. 27:5. "Study to shew yourself approved unto God, rightly dividing the word of truth," 2 Tim. 2:15.
"He who rebukes a man, afterwards shall find more favour than he who flatters with the tongue," Prov. 28:23. I have experience of this. "Fear them not, neither be afraid at their looks, though they be a rebellious house. I have made your face strong against their faces," Ezek. 3:8, 9. Experience confirms this.
" He who walks uprightly, walks surely," Prov. 10:9. " Whoso walks uprightly shall be saved," chap, 28:18.
"You must become a fool, that you may be wise," 1 Cor. 3:18. "We are made a spectacle to the world," chap. 4:9, see ver. 10. "The servant is not greater than his lord," John 5:20, compared with chap. 10:20. "He has a devil, and is mad, why hear you him?" If you will be Christ's disciple, "you must deny yourself," Matt. 16:24. "If the world hate you, you know it hated me before it hated you," John 15:18, says our Lord.
Great people especially will be offended at you, if you speak not fair to them and court and caress them. And if you are looked down upon by great people, who are wise and mighty, what will you think of your preaching?
Our people are new come out from under Prelacy, and they would not desire to have sins told particularly, and especially old sores to be ripped up. They cannot abide that doctrine. Other doctrine would take better with them. Hold off such things; for it may well do them ill. It will do them no good.
If you will preach such things, yet prudence requires that you speak of them very warily. Though conscience says you must, yet speak them somewhat covertly, that you may not offend them sore, and especially with respect to them that are but coming in yet, and do not fill them with prejudices at first; you may get occasion afterwards.
"Accept no man's person, neither give flattering titles to man: for, in so doing, your Maker will soon take you away," Job 32:21, 22. " Few of the rulers believe on Christ," John 7:48. "Not many wise men after the
flesh, not many mighty, not many noble are called, " 1 Cor. 1:26. ' ' Speak you God's word to kings, and be not ashamed," Ps. 119:46.
"You shall speak my words unto them, whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear, for they are most rebellious," Ezek. 2:7. "Give them warning from me. If you do it not, they shall die in their sins, but their blood will I require at your hand," chap. 3:17, 18. "What the Lord saith to you, that do you speak," 1 Kings 22:14.
" Cry aloud, and spare not," Is. 58:1. " Cursed be he who doth the work of the Lord deceitfully," Jer. 48:10. " Handle not the word of the Lord deceitfully." Peter, at the first, told the Jews that were but coming in to hear, " Him (Christ) you have taken, and by wicked hands have crucified and slain," Acts 2:23. "Work while it is called to-day; the night comes wherein you can not work," John 9: 4.
Be but fair especially to them that have the stroke in parishes, till you are settled in a parish to get stipend. If you will not do so, you may look for toiling up and down then; for parishes will scare at you, and will not call you, and how will you live? And so such a way of preaching will be to your loss, whereas otherwise it might be better with you.
" To have respect of persons is not good; for, for a piece of bread that man will transgress," Prov. 28:21. "The will of the Lord be done," Acts 21:14. "God has determined your time, before appointed, and the bounds of your habitation," Acts 17:26. "And his counsel shall stand, oppose it who will," Is. 16:10. "It is God that sets the solitary in families," Ps. 68:6. "If you are faithful, you shall abound with blessings; but if you make haste to be rich, you shall not be innocent," Prov. 28:20.
Thus you see, O my soul, how that carnal wisdom, notwithstanding it speaks fair and with a good deal of seeming reason, is quite contrary to the wisdom that is from above. It promises fair, but its promises are not always performed; it threatens sore, but neither do its
threatenings always come to pass; it makes molehills mountains, and mountains molehills: therefore reject the wisdom of the world, for it is foolishness with God. Carnal policy would make you fear him that can but kill the body, yea that cannot do so much now, and to cast off the true fear of God. O my soul, remember that word, and make use of it for strengthening you, Prov. 29:25. The fear of man brings a snare; but whoso putts his trust in the Lord shall be safe. Never go to seek temporal profit by putting your soul in hazard, but wait you on the Lord, and keep his way, and he shall exalt you to inherit the land, Ps. 37:34; for his way is the safest way, however carnal wisdom may speak otherwise of it, and may account the following of it mere folly; but remember you, that the foolishness of God is wiser than men, 1 Cor. 1:27.
Fifthly, It supposes, that we must not make men our rule, to follow them any farther than they follow Christ. Be you followers of me, says the apostle, as I am of Christ, 1 Cor. 11:1. Wherein they follow Christ I may follow them, but in nothing else. All men are fallible; the greatest of men have had their own spots. Luther's opinion of Christ's corporal presence in the sacrament affords a notable instance of this. Therefore, O my soul, let not man's authority prevail with you to go off the road at all. If Christ himself tell you not, O my soul, where he feeds, you may be left to turn aside to the flocks of his companions. Have a care of putting the servants of the Lord in his own room: but follow you him.
II. Wherein is Christ to be followed; what are those things in him that I must imitate him in? what was the copy that he did cast, which I must write after, in order to my being a fisher of men? What he did by divine power is inimitable; I am not called to follow him, in converting sinners by my own power; to work miracles for the confirmation of the doctrine that I preach, etc. But there are some things wherein he is imitable, and must be followed by preachers, if they would expect to be made fishers of men. First Christ took not on him the work of preaching the gospel without a call, Is. 56:1, "For (says he) the Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach