will of God, is another noble distinction of
fixed, trusting in the Lord, who he believes can and will make good every loss, sweeten every bitter, and appoint all things to work together for his advantage. H e sees that the time& short, lives upon she foretaste of glory, and therefore accounts not his life, or any inferior concerqment, dear, so that he may finish his course with joy.
111. A union of heart to the glory and will of God, is another noble distinction of C's spirit. The glory of God and the good of his people are inseparably connected. But of these great ends the first is unspeakably the highest and most important, and into which every thing else will be finally resolved. Now, in proportion as we advance nearer to him, our judgment, aim, and end, will be conformable to his, and his glory wiil have the highest pl~ce in our hearts. At first it is not so, or but very im cern is chiefly about ours otherwise. The convinced soul inquires, What shall I do to be saved ? The young convert is intent upon sensible comforts ; and ill the seasons when he sees his interest secure, the prospect of the troubles he may meet,. with in life makes him often wish for an early dismission, that he may be at rest, and avoid the heat and burden of the day. But C has attained to more enlarged views; he has a desire to part and to bc with Christ, \vhich
APPENMX. 195
be importurtate if h; h*s's;d&d only himself; but his chief "d2sire is, that' h d may be glorified*in him, whether by his W e or by his desk, He is not his own inor does he desire to be his own ;but so that the poi4rer of Jesusmay be manifesteB in him, he will take pleasure in in&rd*itieg,ir) distresses, in temptations ;and t;hoii!& he longs fo? heaven, would be c9ntent; tb live as'long as Methus&h upon earth, if bf any thing he could do or suffer, . the willbandglory of God d g h t be promoted. And thoup he loves and adores the Lord for what e has d h e and suffered for him, deliyered him from, and appointed him to : yet he lmes and adores him likewise with a moTe simple and direct low, in which self$ in a manner forgot, from the rcnsideration of his glorious excellence and perfections, as he is in himheif. + That God hChrist is glorious over all, 'and blessed for ever, is the very joy of his soul ;and his heart can frame no higher wish, than that the sovereign, wise, holy will of God may be accomplished in him,
and a11 his creatures. Upon this grand principle his praj+ers, schemes, and actions are formed. Thus C is already made like the
angels, and, so far :H is consistent with the inseparable rernfijnrs of a fallen nature, the will qf God is re arded by him upon earth, as it IS by the inha .%itasts of heaven.
The power of divine grace in C msg be emplified in a great variety of situations. C may be rich or poor, leariled or illiterate, of 3 lively natural spirit, or of a more slow and phlegmatical constitution. F e may have a comparatively smooth, or are markably thorny path i11.1.de;he may be a. minister or layrn*~; these circurnstantids will give some tincture and difference in appearance to the work ; but the work%self is the same ;a d we must,
+S far as possible, drop the consideration of &em all, or make proper a!lov;ances &r each, in order to form a right judgment of the life qf Eaith. The outward expression_ of grace may be heightened and set ofF to advantage by many things which are merely natural, such as evenness d temper, good sense, a knowledge of t$e world, and the like ; and it may be darkened by thtngs which are not properly sinful, but unavoidable, such as m e s s of spirits, wmk abilities, and pres-
sure of temptations, which may have effects that they who have not had experience in the same things cannot propcrly account for. A double quantity of real grace, if I may so
speak, that has a docble qu~nrityof hin-' drances to conflict with, mill not be easily observed, unless the hindrances are likewise known and attended to4 and Ismaller measure of grace may appear great when its exercise meets with no rernxkable ob~truction.
For these. reawns, W@can never kk ccsrnpeteht judges of each other, because we cannot be competently "ncquahted with the whole complex case. But our great and merciful Highgriest knows the whole ; he considers our frame, " remembers that we are but dust," makes gracious all;owances, pities, bears, accepts, and approves, with unerring judge-
ment. The sun, in his daily course, heholds nothing so excellent and honorable upon earth as C, though perhaps he may be confined to acottage, and is little known or noticed by men. But he is the object and residence of divine love, the charge of angels, and ripening for everlasting glory. Happy C ! his toils, sufferings, and exercises, will be soon at an end ; soon his desires will be accomplished ;and he who has loved him, and redeemed him with his own blood, will receive him to Pirnself, with ac' Well done, thou good and
faithful servant ; epter thou into the joy of the Lord." If this representation is agreeable to the Scriptures, how greatly are they mistaken, and how much to be pitied, who, while they make profession of the gospel, seem to have no idea of the effects it is designed to produce upon the hcsrts of believers, but either allow themselves in a worldly spirit and conversation, or indulge their unsanctiiied tempera, by a fierce contention for names, noti-
R '2
\PIE., and parties. .May the Lord give to you and to me daily to grow in the experience of that wisdom whish U is first pure, then peace-
cc able, gentle, and easy to be intreated, lull
of mercy and good works, without partias'i- " ty, and without hypocrisy.
I am &c.
Dear Sir, W
E hear much inthe piesentday of the
dignity of human nature. And it is allowed man was an excellent creature as he came out of the hands of God ;but if we consider this question with a view to fallen man, as depraved by sin, how can we but join with the Psalmist in wonder that the great God should make any awount of him ?
Fallen as man is from his original state of harppiness and holiness, his natural faculties and abilities afford sufficient evidence that the hmd.which made him is divine. H e is capable of great things. His understanding, will, affections, imaginatim, and memory, are noble and amazirg powers. But view him in a =oral light, as an intelligent being, inces-
santly dependent upon God, accountable to him, and appointed by him to a state of existence in an unchangeable world; considered in this relation, man is a monster, a vile, base, stupid, obstinate, and mischievous creatirre : no words can fully describe him.- Man, with all his boasted understanding and attainments, is a fool ; so long as he is destinntc of the saving grace 05 God, his canduct,
as to his aost important concernnients, 1: more absurd and inconsistent than that of the meanest idiot ;with respect to his aSections and pursuits, he is degraded far below the beasts ;and for the malignity and wickedness ' of his will, can be compared to nothing so properly as to the devil.
The question here is not concerning this or that man, a Nero or a Heliogabalus, but concerning human nature, the whole race of mankind, the few excepted who are born of
God. There is indeed a difference amongst men, but it is owing to the restraints of Divine Providence, without which earth would be the very image of hell. A wolf or a,lion, while chained, cannot do so ~ u c hmischief as if they were let loose, but the nature is the same in the whole species. Education and interest, fear and shame, human laws, and the secret power of God over the mind, combine to form many characters that are eternally decent and respectable ;and even the most abandoned are undcr a restraint which prevents them from rnanifcsting a thousandth part of the wickedness which is iil their hearts. But the heart itself is universally deceitful and derperately wicked,
Man is a fool. He can indeed rne.tsnre the earth and almost count the stars; he bounds in act4 and invgntions in science and policy,-and shall he sh~.:l q ~called a Euol?
A m W . P81 --Tbe ancient krbegg, t8e klk&6taats ef Egypt, Gmect: asd Rams, arere emimkzt for the kind of ~listbtn. They aze t6 this d q studied as models .by those who aim EQ erwl is history, poetry, paint&, architecture, and other exertions of human geailss, which a e
mrs without improv-
iq -most admired phi-
gichxs, CXaiBOrSn and
as infants ;atidiots, of that knowledge which d e s e m tke name of sue wisdom. PmfessiingthrrmseEoes to be bke, $hey beeRme fools. fgnnraar and regardless of G& yet conscious of their , wakness, and of their depenhce upon a
power above their own, and stimulated by an inwrrd principle of fear, of which they k m neither tJae ownnor right application, they worshipped rhe creature more than tbe Creator, yea, glased their trusts in s ~ c k sand stones, in the work of men's hands, in nonentities and chimeras.
An acquaintance with their mythology, or system of religious fables, passes with us for a considerable branch of learning, because it is drawn fromancient books written in languages not known to the vulgar ;but in point of certainty or truth, we might receive as much satisfaction from a. collection of dream, or from the ravings of lunatics. If, &ere. &re, we admit these admired s a p as a tole-
rzble specimen of mankind, must we not confess, that man in his best estate, while uninstructed by the spirit of God, is a fop1 ? But are we wiser than. they ? Not in the least, till the grace of God makes us so. Our superior advantages only shew our folly is a more srrikin light. Why do we accaunt any person golith? A fool has no sound judgment ;be is governed wholly by appear-
ances, and would prefer a fine coat to the writings of a large estate. H e pays no regard to consequences. Fools have sometimes hurt or killed their best friends, and thought they did no harm. A fool cannot reason,therefore arguments are lost upon him. At one time, if tied vith a straw, he dares not stir ;at another time, perhaps he can hardly be persuaded to move, though the house was on fire. Are these the chardeteristics d a fool? Then there is no fool like the sinner, who prefers the toys of earth to the happiness of heaven ;who is held in bondage by the foolish customs of the world, and is more afraid of the breath of man than of the wrath'of God.
Again, man in his nitural state is a beast, yea below thc bexsts that perish. In two things he strongly resembles them : in looking no higher than to sensual gratifications, and in that selfishness of spirit which prompts him to propose him~elfand his m-ninterest as
APPENQGL, 205
hls proper and hi best enp. , But in many respects be sinkssaIIy bneath +em, , Qnnatural lusts and the, WMZ ~f ziatud afFection towards their o$sgring* are abomination6 not to be found among, the brute creatiqn, What shall we w~rof *mothers destroying their children wi* QWMhands, or of the horrid actpf seh?~rda?~&len are worse tban.beasts fkewise, ip their obstinac;g ;they will not be wa~ned. If ajeast escapp from a trap, he will be cautious how he gdes near it again, knd in vain is the net s relid in the sight of any bird. But man, tKough he be otten reproved, hardens his neck ; he rushes upon his ruin with his eyes open, and can defy God to his face, and dare damnation.
Once more, let us observe how man resembles the devil. There are spiritual sins, and from these in their height the scripture teaches us to judge oi Satan's character.
Every feature in this description is strong in man ;s~ that what our Lord said to the Jews k general application, Ye are of your father the devil, and &e h.ts of your father you will do." Man resembles Satan mpride :this stupid, wicked creature values himself upon his wisdom, pawer, and virtue, and will talk of being saved by his good works ; though if he can, Satan himself need not despair. He resembles him in malice; and this diabolical disposition often proceeds to murder, and
CL04 ArnPBDIZE.
would daily if the Lord did not restrain it. H e derives &om Satan the hateful spirit of envg ihe ioften tormented beyond expression, by belioiding dte prosperity of his neighbms ; and proporttonably pkased with their calamities though he gains no other advaatage 'frozm &em than the gratification of &is rancorous pti.hciple. He bears fie image likewise of Satan in his cruelty. This evil is bound up even in the heart of a child. A disposition to take pleasure in giving pain t o others, appears very early. ChiIdren, if left tci themselves, soon feel a gratification in torturing insects and animals. What misery does the wanton cruelty of men inflict upQn cocks, dogs, bulls, and other creatures, which they seem to think were formed for no other end than to feast their savage spirits with their torments ! If we form our judgments of men when they seem most pleased, and have neither anger or resentment to plead in their excuse, it is too evident, even from the nature of their amusements, whose they are, and whom they serve ; and are the worst of enemies to each other. Think of the horrors of war, the rage of duellists, of the murders . and assassinations with which the world is filled, and then say, Lord what is W&!" Farther, ii deceit and treachery belong to %Ltan's character, then surely man resembles him. Is not the universal observation and
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AWENDIX. -
20 5
cwpIdht bf PI% ail a M n g Comment v,, u p b ttre propbet o WO&, Trust pe not i n c ' i ' f i d , p S ~ ~ & ~ ~ e e i n a guide, keep the doom of Ithp qmtb from her dad lieth in thy 'bosom, for t h q hhunt every man his "brothas with "a Row many have at this 3iau$& p sap with David,
- Ths+&s b'his mouth w&e smoother &an buttery* but W= was in hig heart ; his WM#S were than 04 pet they were dfhws swmds." ' Again, Eke &tan,, mm ate ea1pr in fern ting others to Sin ;mt content to CEam $emaekea tfrg plop all their arts apd isfluenet to draw as many as they can-withthem into the same destruction. Lastly, in direct opposition to God, and goodnessy in contemptuous enmity to the
'of his me,,arid nt bitter persecuting sprit against *ha pmfsn%,Satan himself can-t*udly exceed &em. Herein, indeed, they are his rtp;en%s and willing servants ;and Cecaqse the blessed God is himself out bf twi reach, they labor to'shew their despjte him in the p e w s of his people.
I have drawn but a sketch, a few outlines, of the picture ef falien rilan. To give an
oE him, to charge every feature with its uM aggtilrtation of horror,and topaint him+ ke hi would be imposiblt. Enough
APPENDIX.
has been observed to illustrate the propriety of the exclamation, Lord what is man !" Perhaps some of my readers may attempt to deny or extenuate the charge, and may plead that I have not been describing mankind, but some of the most abandoned af the species, who hardly deserve the, name of men. But E. have already provided against this exception, It is human nature I describe ;and the. vilest and the most profligate individual; cannot sin beyond the power and limits of that nature which they possess in co,mrnon with the more mild and moderate. Though there may be a difference in the fruitfulness of trees, yet the production of one apple decides the nature of the tree upon which it grew as+ certainly as if it had produced a thousand : so in the present case, should it be allowed that these enormities cannot be found in all persons,lit would be a sufficient coniirmation
of what I have advanced, if they can be found in any; unless it could be proved, that those who appeared more wicked than others were of a different species from the rest. But I need not make this concession, they must be insensible indeed who do not feel ,something wjthin them. so very contrary to our common notions of goodness, as would perhaps make them rather submit to be bmished from human society, than to be compelled iotla to disclose .to their fdlow-
AWENDIX. mfo7
- V r */intheir h e m . . - , Many u*ful reflertionfi may be drawn s"fromthis Mpleasing subject. We cmfidr at p r e ~ e ~ t conceive how much we auto to the gnilrdian care of Divine Providence, that any of us mpertred in peace and safe9 for a sin@ day 'iZr l *eh ;t w M d this. LRe fwh'ert t e will, we have those x%arus,"who, I f ~ t hby natdre and the power which Satan '&as over, them are capable af the most atto-
creature every &aught and desire which arises
ciohs c&%. But he whom they kiim not restrains them so that they cannot do the things that they would. When he suspends the restraint, they'act immediately ; tken we
hear of murders, rapes and outrages. But did nbt the Lord reign with a strong hand, such evils muid-K1@rpttudted every hour, and no otte wadd be safe in the house or in the field. His ordinance of civil government is one great means of precerving the peace of society ;but this is in many cases inadequate. The heart of man when fully bent upon evil, will not be intimidated or stopt by gibbets and racks.
How wonderful is the love of God in giving his son to die for such wretches! And how
S strong and absolute is the necessity of ;b new
birth, if &e would he but happy ! Can b-sts and ddvils inherit the kingdom of God t The due cansidcratian of this subject is likewise
needful to preserve believers in an humble, thankful, watchful frame of spirit Such we once wer:, and such, with respect to the natural princ~ple remaining in us, which the apostle calls the flesh, or the old man, we still are. The propensities of fallen nature are not eradicand in the children d God, though by @ace they are made partakers of a new principle, K-hich enables them in the Lord's strength, to resist and mortify the body of sin, so that it cannot reign in themp Yet they are liable to sad surprisals; and th'e histories of Aaron, Bavid, Solamon, a d Peter, are left cm record, to teach us what evil is latent in the hearts of the best mm, a d what t h ~ are capable of doing if $eft but a little to themselves. Lord what is man !'*
I am, &c,
(2) & Man irr hi8 FuLn State. *
Bern Sir, T
HE mature of fallen m& agrees to the
ifescription the apostle has given US ~f l& boasrea +doin : it .is/ earthly, sensd, devilish I haw atretngted some eneral de*
S lirrestion of it in &e preceding Fetter ;but
- .. ...-- __C__-
A P P E ~ S 2 ~ 9
the hiight d ks mrblfgnity cannot be proper- %;&&mat&, Wess a&6akbider in actiags "withsr&pect t&the light of the gospel. + The *$ex& were extremely wicked at the time of 'bur Lord's appearance upon earth : Yet he
said of them, U If I had not come and spa- & ken to them, they had not had sin ;" that is, as &I$~li&t.rtilti power of his ministry
depfi~d"tth'[email protected] exe'u3ei for continuing in Siri%oit proved &e oca&asion' af mhewing their %c'IEe*dn&s m the rh&t a & r a ~ a ~ d fnanner ; %od all Eh% o~her sins were?but faint prioofs
of the true state of their hearts, if compared -with the diicoverp they made of themselves
by their pertinacious opposition to him. In this sense, what the apostle has observed of she bw oPMoses, I;nap be applied to the gos-
el of Christ :it entered that sin might a- &ound. ff'we i ~ u 1 dcstinnte the utmost erekions of humm &pPavitjr, and-the strongest ,effects it is capable of producing, we must
select our instanes from the conduct of those to whom the gospel is howti. The Indians who roast thelr8enemies alive, give sufficient proof that man is b a r 6 ~ t t sto his own Rind; which may like6se be demonstrated without going so far from home ; but the preaching of the gospel +seovers, the eeniniljl of the bedst again~tGod, i~ Gays and degrees, of which unenlightened savages and heathens ,are not
sapaMe af.
2q s 2 $
210 APlagW4I;S.
B y ,the go d, I now mean not merely Ge doctrine o 'Psalvation, as it l i e in the boly scriptme, but &at public and $uthqiti~e &Spensation of this doctrine which the LordJesus Christ has committed tq his true ministers ; who havin been themselves, by the power of hi grace, % w h t out of darkness into marvellous li ht are by his Holy Spirit q 4 i f i d and 'lent forth to declare to their fellow ners, what they have seen, and felt, and tasted, of the word of life. Their commission is, to ezalt the Lord al~ne, to stain the pride of $l human glory.
They are to set forth the evil and demerit of sin, the strictness, spirituality, and sanctian , of the law of' God, the total apostacy of mankind ; and from these premiss CQ &nonstrap the utter impossibility of a sinner's escaping condemnation by any works or endeavors of his own; and then to pro~lairn a full and free salvation from sin and wrath, by faith in the name, blood dedience, and mediation of God manifest in rhe &sh i tqgether with a denutlciation of eternal mlsery to all who shaH finally reject tFe testimony which God has given of his Son. Thsugh these several branches of the will ~f God respecting sinners, and other truths in comectipn with them, are plainly reveal& a d repeatedly inculcated in the Bible ;and tbgpgh the Bible is te be found in h o s t every h@%,- .
,-_ ^ _ - _ I-".-- _
----
*B*. 211 pt we S=, ia f i t , it las F &ei$baak, little rqa_d, Iittto underspc&an@'~hc?lfr)febut #c- #e zegarded, P@p't 'F$ t%e#$pXa&q. whch the Lord. is ts &$by with' rnfpistefs who can conErm them %m rh'eir own rience, and w b , by a sense o? his eonstralning love, -and the' wqqh of ~ouls, are animated m d v $ $ . - f ~ i ~ f i ~ di~bargeof their m i n i w e o m gserrrbasiness qT their Ibes : who aim not to possess the weal&,%t)gt to promote rhe welfare oftheir heaters ;a* wj@lty r e g a r d k ~hf the frowns M. siniles of &e world ; and cousit not their lives dep, 6 +at they be wipe"and snccessfd in wiz+ riing scrulg t$&&t. ' , When the gospel in this sense of the word, first comes to a place, though rhe people are 8oimg. aq iq sin they may be said ro sin ignoq+btly; MJI$ a h not yet been warmid d their dapger. &m& a? dF;hkiig down idguity like water ; dothersmere soberly burying themselves in cares bf. Bnillsifiess of ibe world ; others find a little time for what they call religims dn?ies, which thq pe'ssevepe is rhaargh tPoy a e uqa strangers to the nature qr the pleasure of spiritaal utorship partly, as thereby $ep think to bargain 6th God, and to make amends fr>r such chins as they d~ not chuse to relinquish ;and arrly because it tifies their pride, and apotdr them [.as gi &ink) someground for sqin ' G d , I than thee 1am not as other Thepreached
Q18 APPENDIX.
g6spel declares the vanity and danger of these sqeral ways which sinners chuse to walk in. Tt declares, and demonstrates, that differat as they appear from each other, they are equally remote from the path of safety and peace, and all tend to the same point the destru~tion of those who persist in them. At the same time it provides againsi that despair into which men would be otherwise plunged, when convinced of their sins by revealing the immense love of God, the glbry and grace of Christ, and inviting all to come to him, that they may obtain pardon, life and happiness. In a word, it shews the pit of hell under men's feet, and opens the gate and points out the Way to heaven. Let us cow briefly observe the effects ;t produces in those who do not receive it as the power of' God unto salvation.. These effects are various, as tempers and cirqumstances vary,) but they may all lead us to adopt the Psalmist's exclamation,
!" Lord what is man 6'
Many who have heard the gospel once or a few times, will heay it no more ; it awakens their scorn, their hatred and rage. They pour contempt upon the wisdom of God, despise his goodness, defy his power ;and their very looks express the spirit of the rebellious Jews, who told the prophet Jeremiah to his pace, As to the word which thou hast spom to us is the name of the Lord, we will
. APPENDIX. - '
not bearkm to"&&. at all,%' The ministers w h preach it, are accounted men &at wrn the world upside d ~ w n;and the people.who receive it, fools or hypocrites. Theword ~f tht? Lord is a burden to them, and they h e , it with a perfect hatred. How strongly is the disposition of t h e ' m t ~ lheart manifested, bg the c d i d o f t whiih often, takes place in fatrdli* where the Lord is p&& to awaken one or two in a house, whik the rest m.
in their sins ! T o profess, or ben to be mpected of an attachment m, tbc go-& of Christ, is frequently considered and rmted as fhe w w t OE crimcg sufficietrt to cancel the strongest obligations of relation or figndship, Parents, upon such a provocation, will l& their children, and children ridicule their paants :mmy, find, sgreeafrle m oar 'k d 7 s
&Imtion, that £mm the t-me a-ben* of his love engaged their heam $0 Im him again, their worst foes have been those ofMCordn houshold ; and that they clro expressei? the m greatest love oi tenderness for them before rheir c~nvchion,can now .hardlybear to h e thein.
The balk of a pesple will perhaps cmtinne to hear, at least now and then ; and to those who do, the spirit of God usually, at me time or other, bears testimony to the tr& Oeir consciences are struck, and for a seasdn tkeg believe and tremble. h t what is d e
414 APPENDIX.
consequence ? No man who has taken poison seeks more earnestly or speedily for an antidote, than those do for something .to stifle and smother their convictions. They run to cornpany, to drink, to any tlhg, for relief against the unwelcome intrusion of serious thoughts ; and when they succeed and recover their former indifference, they rejoice as if they bad escaped from great danger. The next step, is to ridicule their own convictions ;and next to that, if they see any of their acquaintance under the same impressions, to use every
S art, and strain &very nerve, that they may render them as obstinate as themselves. For this p rpose they watch as 3'fowler for the bird, latter m revile, tempt or *leaten, and if they can prevail, and are the occasion of hardening any of their sins, they rejoice and triumph, as if they accounted it their interest and their glory to ruin the souls of their fellow creatures.
By frequent hearing they receive * more light. They are compelled to know, whether they will or not, that the wrath of God hangs over the children of disobedience. They carry a sting in their consciences and at times feel themselves mrst miserable, and cannot but wish they had never been born, or that they had been dogs or toads rather than rational creatures' Yet they harden thelnselves still more. They affect to be happy and m
APPENDIX* 215
ease, and force thepselves to wear a2smile when iinguish preys upon their.hwts. D e y *blaspheme thi? way bf truth, %at&for thefaults of profesi;ors, and with a malicious joy publish and aghavate them. They see pgr+ haps how the wicked die, but are not dartncdj they see the zigbteoys die, but are not moved. Heither prcw-&ncesj nor ordinances, mercies nor judgwts, can erop them ;for they are determined to go on and perish wkh their eyes open, rather than submit tp *e gospel.
But they do not Zway$ openly reject: the gospel puths, Some who profess to approve and receive them, do thereby discover the evils of the heart of man, if possible, in a yet stronger light. They make Christ the miniater of sin, &id turn his grace into Iicentiousdess. Like' Judas, they say, Ha& Master, and bethy him. This is the highest pitch of iniquity. They pervert ,all the doctrines of the ospel. From electios they draw an excuse for continuing in their evil ways; and contend for salvation without works, because they love not obedience. They extol the righteousness of Christ, bur hold it in opposition to personal hohess. In
a word, because they hear that God is good, they determine to persist in evil. Lard what is man l"
Thus wilful and impenitent sinners go on - from bad to worse, deceiving and being de- :4 eived. The word which they despise b e comes to them a favor of death-unto death. They take different courses, but all are travelling down to the pit; and, unless sovereign mercy interpose, will soon sink to rise'no more. The final event is usually twofold. Many, aftdr they have been more or less shaken by the word, settle in formality. If hearing would supply the place of faith, love, and obedience, they wodd do well ; but bydegrees they become sermon proof :the truths
rvhich once struck them lose their power by being ofren heard ; and thus multitudes live and diein darkness, thou h tlie light has long shone around them. otters are more openly iven up to a reprobate mind. Contempt of %ie gospel makes Infidels, Deists, md Atheists. They are filled with a spirit of delusion to believe a lie. These are scoffers walking after their own lusts ;for wbre the principles of religion are given up, the conduct will be vile and abominable. Such persons sport themselves with their own deceivings, and strongly prove the truth of the gospel while they dispute against it. W e often find that people of this cast have formerly been the
su>&cts of Jtrong convictions ; but when the evil spirit has seemed to depart for a season,
and returns again, the last state of that person
9 is worse than the first.
AWERT~IX 217
Is it not possibl@that some c& my readers m q 'meet, .prtth&r own'. ch&%a&e&s = ~ & P
b b d of Jesus upon which you have hiherto trampled, speaks better things than the blood of Abel, atid is of virtue to cleanse those whose sins are as scarlet and crimson, and. to make&& white as snow. As yet you are 6 p a d 3 but ir is high .rime toaop, to throw doyour a m s of reljellion, and humble yourselves at his feet. If you do, you may yet escape. But if nor, know assuredly that wrath is coming upon yoa to the uttermost ; and you will shortly find, to your unspeakable dismay, that it is a fearful tbig to f a into the Cads of the living God,
& I'am, &c.
. To agayfriend, on his recovcryfrom i l h s .
D e a r Sir, I
SUPPOSE you will receive many congratulations on your recovery from your late dangerous illness ;most of them perhaps more
sprightly and better turned, but none, I per- ' suade myself, more sincere and affectionate , than mine, I beg you would prepare yourself by this good opinion of me, before you read further; and let the reality of my regard excuse what you may dislike in my manner of expressing it.
When a person is returned from a doubtful, distant voyage, we are naturally led to enquire into the incidents he has met with, and the discovelies he has made. Indulge me in a curiosity of this kind especially as my affections give me an interest and concern in the event. You have been, my friend upon the brink,pn the very edgeof an eternal state :but God has restored you back to the world again. Did you meet with, or h a y you brought back. nothing new ? Did nothing occur to. stop or turn your usual train of thought? * Were your apprehensions of invisible things exactly the same in the height of your disorder, when you were cut off from the world and all its engagements, as when you were,
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I \
APPENDIX. 210
in perfee; krealth,'and iri the highest enjoyGent d your inclinatiop ? If y&n answer me, " yes, all things are just the sameas
U formerly, the difference between sickness and
health only excepted ?" I am at a loss how to reply ; I can only sigh and wonder ; s@, .that it should be thtls with a y, that it should
be tha with you whom I &ady love ; and
siqke &is unhappy case, Atrange as it 6&?ni5 in oneview, ippet so frequent, why it waa not thus always with myself ; for long a d often it W&." just so. Many a time, when sitknes has brought me, as we say, to death's door, I was as easy and inse~~sible as the sailor, who, in the height of a storm, should presdine to sleep on the top of the mast, quite regardless that the next tossing wave might plunge him into the raging ocean, beyond all possibility of relief. But at length " a day came, which, thou& rhe most terrible
day I ever saw, I can look back upon with thankfulness and pleasme : I say, the time came, when in such a helpless extremity,
and under the efpectation of immediate dezth, *It pleased God to command the veil from my eyes, and I saw things in some measure as they really wefe. Imagine with yourself, a , person trembling upon the point of a dreadful precipice, a powerful and iexorabie enemy eager to push him down; and an assembla B
e of all that is horrible waiting at the bottom or
' his fall ;even this will give +you but a faint represelltation of the state of my mind at that time. Believe me, it was not a whim or a dream, which chaged my sentiments and conduct, but a powerful conviction which will not admit the least doubt ; an evidence ~vbich, like that I h v e of my own existence, I cannot call in question without contradicting 111 my senses. And though my case was in some rcspects uncommon, yet something like it is known by m e and another every day: and I have myself conversed with many, who afier a course of years spent in defeadipg Deisticnl principles, or indulging libertine practices, when they have thought themselves co~lfirmed in thkir schemes by the full assent of what they then deemed impartial reasor), have been like me bronght to glory in the
CTOSS of Chrij,, and to live by that faith which they. had bef~re slighted and opposed. By these instances, I know that nothing is too hard for the Almighty. The same power which hcmbled me, can undoubtedly bring doyn the most' haughty infidel upon earth. And as I likewise knew, that, to shew his pov er, he is often pleased to make use of weak mstrujpents. I am encournged, aotwithstanding the apparent difficulty of succeeding, to warn those over whom friendship or affection gives me any influence, of the evil and the
danger of a co~rse of life formed upon the
APPENDIX. ~ 2 1
prevailing maxims of the world. $Q as 1 neglect this, I am unfaithful in my prpfes-
sions both to God and man. .l shall nc,t at present trouble you in a; arpmentative way. If by dint of reasoning I could effect some change in yoiw notions, my arguments, unless applied by a superior POWer, youM still leave your heart unchanged or untouched. A man may give his assent to athe ggspel, and be able to defend it against others, and yet not have 'hisown spirit infltienced by it. Th$ thought I shall leave - with you, that rif your sc%eme benot true to a demonstration, it must necessarily be false ; for the'issue is too important to make a doubt on the dangerous side tolerable. If the Christian could be possihly mistaken, he is still upon equal terms with those who pronounce him t6 be so i but if the Deist be wrong, fthat is if we are in the right,) the consequence to him, must be unavoidable and intolerable. This, you will say, is a trite argument ;I own it, but, beaten as it is, it will never be worn out or answered. ,
Permit me to remind fou that the points in debate between us are already spttled in themselves, and that our talking cannot alter or affect the nature of things ; for they will be as they are, whatever apprehensions we may form of them; and remember likewise, ,.
T 2
/' D22 APPENDIX.
that must ali, each one for himself, experience,oii which side the truth lies. l used a
a wrong word when I spoke of your recovery ;
my dear friend look upon it only as a r~prieve; for you carry the sentence of death about with you still ; and hnless you should be cut! off (which "God in his mercy forbid !) by a kudden stroke, you will as surely lie upon *'death-bed as you have been now raisec! from Q bed of sickness. And remember likemi~c, :(how can I bear. to write it !) that, should
you neglect my adnlonitions, they will, notwithstanding, have an effect upon you, tho' not such 211 effect as I could wi'sh. They wiU render you more inexcusable. I have delivered my own soul by faithfully warning you ; but if y y will not examine the matter with that scrlousness it calls for ; if you will not look up to God, the former of your body, and the preserver of your spirit, for direction and assstance how to please him : if you will have your reading and conversation only on one side of the question ; if you determine to let afnictions and dangers, mercies and deliverances,allpass without rrflections and improvement ; if you will spend your life as though you thou& ht you were sent into the world only to eat, slecp, and play, and after a course of years, to he extinguished like the siluff of acandle ;-UThy,then, you must abide the consequences. But assuredly, sooner OS later*
G+ 4\yekt YOU.. My hewty, daily prayer 1% tb;lit R m y be in a way of mercy, and that you may be added to the number of
trophifs of his invincible grace.
L am, &c.
Dear Sir, T
HOUGH 1 truly love you, arid have
pa reason to doubt of the reality of your friendship to me, yet I cahnot but apprphend that notwitlistanding our mutual regard and my frequent attempts to be witty (if I could) for your diversion, there is a sbmething In most of my letters ( which I cannot, dare not wholly suppress) that disgusts and wearies you, and makes you less inclined to keep up a frequent intercourse, tharl yon would otherwise be. Rather than lose you quite, I will in general spare you as much as I can ;but at present you qust bear with me, and allow me full scope. You have given me a chal-
224 APPENDIX.
lenge* which I know not how to pass over : and since you so far justify my preaching as to condescend to preach (in your way) yourself, permit me for this time to preach again, and to take same passages in your letter for
my text. . z , In the present debate I will accept your compliment, and suppose myself to be, as you say, a man of sense. You allow, then, that all the sense is not a n your side. This indeed you cannot deny ;for whatever becomes of me, jt is needless tp tell you, that Hale, Boyle, and other eat names I could mention, were men oFas great penetration and judgment, had as good opportunities, and
took as much pains to be informed of the truth as any of the advocates for infidelity can
retend to. And you cannot with any mo-, fiesty or consistence abiolntely determine, that they had not as good grounds for thinking tl9emselves right, as you can have for concluding they were wrong.
But declining the advantage of human authority, I am content the point should rest between you and me. And here I beg you to observe, that I have one evident advantage over you in judging, namely, that 1 have experienced the good and evil on both sides, and yoq only on one. If you were to send me an inventory of your pleasures, how charmingly your time runs on, and how dexterously it i s
&viBM &e c-a*, pkybuse, the &able$ wd,tnsem, .W& i ~ 0 r v 4 sd balls, cowerts, &c. I wtlld amer, that d s t of these I hwe tried and tried again, and know the utmost they can yiekd, and have seen enough of, the rest, me$ heartily to despise thm ,&, slzu;ng seiigion entirely A out Qf. @p q ~ t i c m ,I profess I had a h e r be a vans kfo ~c*awrl,up the, groundi than to bp the w e of M ~ Nq o n t h poor terms of hil ling away my life in an insipid round of such in$e;nika~and wmanly trifles. will regrrn your own expression-l. believe you to he a Berson of sense, bat alas ! how do ypu prostitute your talents and capacity; bow far do you act below yourself, if you know so higher purpose of life than these chi&& &G$+&@PS, togetba wi& the more serious.business of rising mzly and sitting up late, t~ amass money, that you may be aMe to enlarge your expences. I am sure, while I lived in these things, Ifound them unsatisfying and empty to the last degree ; and the only ad,~antage they darded (miserable are they ,who are forced to deem it an advantage) was, that' they often relieved me from the trouble and burden of thinkingIf you have any other pleasures than these, they are such as must he evil and inconvenient even upon your own plan ; and therefore my friendihip will not allow me to bring them into the
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226 APPENDIX
account. I am willing to hope you do not stoop still lower in pursuit of satisfaction. Thus far we stand upon even ground. You know all that a life ?f pleasp-e san give, and - I know it likewise,
OnXhe other hand, if I should attempt to explain to you the source and streams of tng best pleasures, such as comfortable assurance of the pardon of my sins, an habitual cornmunion with the God who made heaven and earth, a calm reliance on the Divine Providence, the cheering prospect of a better life in a better world, with the pleasing fofetastes of heaven in my own soul ; should I, or could I, tell you the pleasure I often find in reading the scripture, in the exercise of prayer, and in that sort of preaching and conversation which you despise ; I doubt not but you
would think as meanly of my happiness af I do of your's. But here lies the difference, my dear friend, you condemn that which you have nevel: tried. You know no more of these things than a blind man does of colors ; and notwithstanding all your flourishes, I defy you to be at all times able to satisfy yourself, that things may not possibly be as I have represented them.' ' Besides, what do I lose upon my plan, that should make me so worthy of your pity ? Have you a quicker relish in the prudent use of temporal coniforts ! Do you think I do
U Q ~etlt my f g ~ dwith as mueh pleaswe as you o p ddh,thoq$h~ a ~ ) b ( ~ w i t h ~ l ~ s s TW aad variety ? 1s your sleep s~un&r thaa &m $ Wavg hot I as much satisfaction in social iiie Z * It is trw, to join much with the gay 3nttering tribe, who spend their days in laugh and sin -song is egastBlx c o ~ r y to my duty and incfwqn. h t f have. friends a d Wqtrafmce as W& as yes, A m n g the many who hvor me with their esteem aid friendship, +&ere are some who are persons of sense, learnin wit, add (what perhaps may weigh as mucf?with-ycu) of fortune and &Stinctioa. And if you should say, " Aye, but they are all enthusiasrs like yourself," you would wy nothing to the purpose ;since upon your maxim, that." happiness is according to opision," i t canwk be an objstionr but the'contrdsy, to have my acquaintance to my own taste. Thus much for the brighter si+ of your situation ;or Ie; me add one thing more, I know you have thoughts of marriage : do you think if you should enter in& this relatign, your principles are calculated to make you more happy in it than I am ? You are well acqu$nted with our family life. Do you pro ose to know more of the peace and heard& joy of domestic union than I have known!, and continue to know, t~ &is hour ? I wish y ~ umay equal us;and if you do, we shall still be as before, but upon even
ground. I need not turn a Deist to enjoy the best a d the most that this life CM afford.
Bnt I need not ell you that the present life is not made up of pkkisllrable indidents @y. Pain, sickn&, losses, diqpginkments, injuries, uid"dronts with men, will mare 9r l&s, a~one time or other, be our lot. And can you bear these trials better thkn 1 ? You will not pretend to it. Let me 'appeal to yourself: How often do you toss and disquiet yourself like a wild bull in a net, when things cross your expectations ? As your thoughts are more engrbssed with what you see, you must be more keenly sensible a£ what you feel. You cannot ,view these trials as appointed by a wise and heavenly Father in subservience to your good ;. you cannot taste the sweetness of his promises, nor feel the secret supports of his strength, in an horn of afiiction ;you cannot so cast your burden and care upon him, as to find a sensible relief to ybur spirit thereby ; nor can you see his hand engaged and employed in effecting your ddivcranee. Of these things you know no more than of the art of flying; but I seriously assure you, and I believe my testimony wilt. go farther WI% you than my judgment, that they a?e realities, and that I have found them to be so. When my worldly concerfis have b e n most thornyand disrouraj$~, X have
unce and again felt the most of that peace which the world c m neither give nor take away. However, I may state the case still lower. You do pretLy well among your friends ; but hciv do you like being alone ? Would you not give something for that happy secret, which could enable you to pass a rainy day pkaqantly, without the assistance of busiacss, dbmpany, or amusement ? Would it not mortify you greatly to travel for a week in an unfrequented road, where you should meet with no lively incidents to recruit and raise your spirits ? Alas ! X hat a poor scheme of pleasure is yours, that will not" support an interval of reflection
What j-ou have heard is true ; I have a few friends who meet at my house once a' fortnight, and we spend an hour or two in worshipping the God who made us. And can thismove your indignation, or your compassion? Docs it shew a much nobler spirit, a more refined way of thinking, to live alto-
ether without Cod in the world ? If I fept a card-assembly at those times, it would not displease you. How can you as a prrson of sense, avoid being sliocked at your own unil::ppy prejudice ? Eut I remember how it was once wilh myself, and forbezr to wonder. May he who has opened my eyes, open yours. H e only can do it. I do not expect to convince you bp'any t l h g I cm
? 1
2.70 APPENDIX.
say as of myself; but if he be pleased to make use of me as his instrument, then you will be convinced. H o w should I then re- -joice ! I'should rejoice to beuseful to any one,
hut especially to you, whom I dearly love. May God shew you your true self, and your true state ;then you will attentively listen to what you disdain to hear of, -his goodness in providing redemption and pardon for the chief of sinners, through him who died upon the cross for sins not his own. Keep this letter by you at my request ; and when you write tell me that you received it in good part ; and that you still believe me to be, &c.
EXTRACTS.
No. I.
HEN ;he mind. is regenerated, and W a new heart given, divine things will appear in a new light ;and the heart wiU exercise itself in quite a new manner. The first thing that now presents itself to the mind, is the omnipresent the glorious God, the sum of all being and excellence. Now the heart sees and feels that there is a God, with a conviction and assurance that it never had before ; and is entertained and fixed in a calm, sweet view, and seny of greatness, majesty, wisdom, goodness, excellence, glory, with which it is captivated and charmed. Now the person finds himself surrounded with Diety, and sees God manifesting himself every where, and in every thing. The sun, moon, and stars ; the clouds, the mountains, the trees, the fields, the grass ; and every creature and thing, conspire in silent, yet clear, powerful, and strikin language, to declare to him the
H being, per ections and glory of God. Now he\ sees he never before really believed there was a God. H e never had any idea and sense of such a being before, nor received the abun-
23% EXTRACTS.
dant and all-convincing evidence of Ins b~ing and perfections.
In this view lie sinks into nothing, as it were, before this great and klorious being ; and his heart is filled with a sense of the glorious greatness and excellence of God, and his infinite worthiness to be loved, obeyed,.
and bonored by all intelligent creatures.- Now, therefore, he sees the reasonableness and excellence of that law which requires all to love him with all their hearts :so the divine law comes into view, in all its justice, goodness and glory. His heart approves of it as most worthy to be maintained andgonored, while it requires perfect, persevering love and obedience, on pain of eternal damnation. He therefore now sees the infinite evil of sin: its infinite odiousness and iil desert : and in this view, sees his own sinfulness ' and vileness, and sinks down, as it were, infinitely low, in a sense of his own infinite odiousness and guilt ;and hates, judges, and condemns himself ; heartily acknowledging the justice of his condemnation, feeling himself most righteously cast off forever, into eternal misery : and therefore in himself, wholly lost, and infinitely miserable.
And when he sees what he has done, how he has broken and dishonored the divine law ; and despised and contemned God, and .rampled on his most sacred anthoritp ; hn:~
EXTRACTS. 239
infinitely unreasonidbfe, and injusious to the divine character he has been, he desires and wishes with all his heam that the mighty breach could be made up, and theinjury repaired and removed ; t*t theblot he has cast on theglorious character of God might be wiped off,and full recornpence and atonement made : and he, has not the least wish that he might be pardoned and obtained the favor, of God in any other way. And he immediately sees and feels that, he is infinitely far from any possibility of doing this himself ;that he is, infinitely in debt, and has nothing to pay ;has nothing b & ~infinite'vileness, unworthiness and guilt to offer, which can only pull down divine vengeance OII his head ; that his repentance, however sincere, can do nothing towards making up tlie breaeh, or in the lease degree atone for the least sin. He is; therefore, far from any disposition or thought, to attempt to offer any thing of his own, by whioh he might obtain the fcrgiveness of his sins, and the favor of God, which now appear5 illfinitely important and desirable. Thus
the law comes, sin revives, and he dies.
And now he is prepabed to receive the good news reported in the gospel, cc Behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sins
of the world !" This is good tidings of great joy. Behold the son of God, who
U 2
234 EXTRACTS.
is oquql with God, and is ~ o d ,who himself made the world, is become a man ; has been ;h the world, and by his own obedience and sufferi~gs unto death, has made full reparation and atonement for sin ; is risen from the dead, and exalted to the right hand of the Majesty on high, to give repentance and Wmission of sins ;and is ready to pardon and save all that come unto him, to which all, even the dost guilty and vile, are freely invited ! Now the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ shines in his heart, and the character of the Mediator appears tohim in all its fulncss and ghry : and the way of salvation by Christ appears wise, sxcellent, and glorious, and pl-ses, rejoices, and charms his heart. And in a sense of his own infinite unworthiness, vileness, and guilt, he-puts his whole trust in him for pardon and salvation, deliverance from the guilt and power and pollution of sin, desiring to be found in him, not having his ogn righteousnes, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith."
And while he attends to the dignity and excellence of Christ's person, and sees what he has done and suffered to obey and honor the divine law, and make atonement for sin, and sees, and tastes the wonderfulamazing goodness of God and the Redeemer, eser-
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- .- - -- -- -. EXTbiCTs. 295
cised,and manifested in this r&ernpti~n, his smx.ebf tha worthiness of the faw c& God. and h e ififinie vikness of sin, rises Bigk an&* higher 1 and his heart is more and more warmed with love t6 God and the Redeemer, and Wed with hatred and abhorrence of sin : and is especially brskerr in repentance and ~elf~abhorrence,in a sense of his amazing ingratitude and vileness in neglecting and opposing this way of salvation, and slighting and rejecting such a Saviour.
And now with all his heart he renounces the ways of sin, and wirh pleasure and stmg41 of soul giveshimself up to God through Jesus Christ twerve and obey him forever :feeling it to be the happiest thing ip the world, tbe greqtest privilege he c a ~imagine, to be
wholly devoted to Cod in all the ways of strict and pure religion and holy obedience.
In these views and exercises of heart, .active conversion from sin to God does eon-
sist. And all this is implied in faith in hsas Christ, or receiving him! and believing on his name. And eveq one in whose mind these
things do not take place, in the sum and snbstance of them, is not converted or born of
God. Though I pretend not to say that the views and exercises of every one that is converted, do sensibly take place exactly in the order and connectio~ in* which E hawe now placed them, so that every true convert
236 EXTRACTS,
shall be able to recollect that these tl~ings passed in his mind just so, and in this gder from step to step: yet he must be sensible that all this has laken place in his heart and abides with him. And it: may be demonstrated that they do in fact take place in-this connection and order, an& t h ~ t there is no other possible way : though :ill may be so
much at once, if I may so speak, and the, erercises of the mind may be so quick, as not J to be attended with any consciousness of their being in this particular arrangement.
But to proceed,- The person of whom I am speaking is now be'come a truly hurnbh pcrson, in a sense of his own mesmnfless, vileness, and infinite nnworthiness and guilt, and his absolute dependance on God for strength and righteousness. This lays him low before God, and he is disposed to walk humbly with him, working out his awn salvation with fear and trembling, i. e. in a sense of his own nothingness, weakness, and
nsufficiency with respect to any good things, md his perfect, continuil, and as it were, ininite dependance on God, who aloae worksth in him to will and to do. And as he as a more full, clear and constant view andcnse of his own amazing vileness and mikrp han he c m have of others, he is naturally iisposed, in lowliness of m i d , to perfer others
EXTRACTS. $23: '
tp himself, and had a meek and humble con- &et ;~ndbehavisr among men.
And he has now a new vietv and sense of the truth, divinity, excellence, and sweetness of the word of God, and he delights in the holy scriptwes, and is disposed to meditate therein day and night: T h y are more preeioms to Mm than puch fine gold, and sweeteF than the honey and the honey comb. H e now becomes a detfout and zealous wordipperi of God. With pleasure, he daily enters into his closet, and prays to, and praises bim who sees in secret ;' and would not be deprived of this privilege for all the kingdoms in the world. H e loves to join with christians in social prayer and religious coyversa- 'tion. And his feet run with constancy and eagerness to the place of public worship, where h devoutly joins in prayer and praise ; and, with great attention, hears the word preached, receives instruction, and is quickened thereby.
And as he has given himself np to God sincerely and without reserve, he is from hence naturally led to desire to do it publicly,
' by espousing the cause of God, and appearing
on his side, as a disciple and follower of Christ before the world, by a public profession of religion. And it appears to him t~ be a great privilege to Le among the number of Gad'a visible people, to be united with
238 EXTRACTS.
them, and have the advantage of their christian watch and care. And without delay he joins with them, and attends on all Christ's
holy institutions.
And in this change he becomes 2 friend to mankind, and his heart is filled with love to them. This effectually, and at once, cures him of all the ways of deceit, injustice, and injuriousness in his concerns and dealings with his neighbor, of which the world is so full,
and which are so common among professing christians. And he is immediately possessed with that harmlessness, honesty, sincerity, truth, integrity, and faithfulness of heart, which is peculiar to a true christian. And he is not dnly just and upright ;but his heart is full of goodness, kind affection, tenderness, and mercy, which prompts him to do good to all as he has opportunity; especially to seek and promote, in ail the ways he can, the welfare of their smls in their eternal salvation.
In a word, he heartily devotes himself to the service of God and his fellow men, as his whole and only business. And to this end is faithful and diligent in his own proper station and calling ; not slothfuI in business, but fervent in spirit ; serving the Lord." And in these things he perseveres and makes progress to the end of life ; for conversion is but the beginning of the smie thing which is
EXTRACTS, 139
carried on and makes advance into porfec; holiness.
This is a short imperfect sketch of the ttue convert, the new man, who is born of the spirit of God.
EXTRACT. - -" No. 11.
L somC time after I was brought under concern for my soul, my heart rose F"' against the doctrine o i election to a high +
degree. I was disposed t o call God a hard. master, and to scruple the equality of his ways. But, before I obtained any satisfaction, that I had experienced a change of heart, I was brought to lay down my arms.
1 saw myself so vile as justly to deserve everlasting ruin. And I saw such fitness in the character and government of God, such propriety Iu his doing what he will with his own, that I clme to be in his hands, and to refer the disposal of my future state entirely to his pleasure. My first comfort arose from a view of the perfection of God ; his sovereign right to dispcse of all creatures: the cc. Lainty
240 EXTRACTS.
that he would do me no wrong, and that he would dispose of me, and every other creature, in that way which should be most for his own glory and the general good of his kingdom. A t this time I had n6 apprehension that my sins were forgiven. I continued some days in this situation, loathing myself, and wondering at the patience of God, in keeping me out of hell. My distress was now exceedingly different from what it had been in the former part of my concern. Instead of being distressed with fears of endless wrath, my sins were now the burden of my m i d .
* Not because I had sinned against myself; but because I had sinned against the holy and benevolent God, who does all things well, A t length, one evening, while I was pouring out my soul before the Lord ; acknowledging his righteousness, and lamenting my own iniquities ; I had a view of Jesus Christ as the Father's beloved, and one who was mighty to save, even the chief of sinners. The way of salvation by him appeared astonishingly glorious, honorable for God, and safe for men. The beauties of holiness, with which his character is adorned, appcared lovely in my eyes. My soul was filled with a misture of wonder and delight. And the more I contemplated upon this amiable charac~er, the greater my own vileness appeared. And the more ready he aywared to saw me, the more anworchy
EXTRACT& 341 i felt &self, of 4 s salvation. Then reflecting upon the temper of my rnM, and the discoveries which had been made to my soul, I could not but entertain some hope that my heart was renewed, my sins pardoned, and that, through grace, 'I should be admitted to spend eternitp'in the mjoyment of ' Christ, aid in eekbfating the praisei of redeeming love.
In these delightfit1 hours l thought I could never more turn mp attention to earthly abject~; and Palmost wished fur wings, that I might fly away imd be at rest. But sipce that time I have found so much pride in my heart, and have bet% so easily captivated by the allurements of the world, and diverted from the path of duty, that I have at times been ready to givehp my hope as vain and ddusive. At other times I find sweet delight in the service of God, and in contemplating upon his amiable character and admirable government j a'nd have such longings of soul for a perfect dwelling in God, and such a change in my mind, as to the objects of my delight and aversion, that I am almost ready to sap one thing I know, that, w h p a s I wa's blind ncw 3 sep. *
I. 942 EXTRACTS
No. 111.
S I was w&ng in a solitary place, I was brought to see myself lost and helpless. And here, in a mournful melancholy state was attempting to pray ;b t found no heart to engage in that, or any other duty ; my former concern, and exercise, and religious affections were now gone. I thought the Spirit of God had quite left me ;but still was not distressed ; yet disconsolate, as if there was nothing in heaven or earth could make me happy. And having been thus endeavoring ,to pray (though being, as I thought, very stupid and senseless) for near half an hour, (and by this time the sun was about half an hour high, as I remember) then, as I was walking in a dark thick grove, unspeakable glory seemed to open to the view and apprehension of my soul :I ao not mean any external brightness, for I saw no such thing ;nor do 1 intend any imagination of a body of light, some where away in the
thjrd heavens, or any thing of that nature ; bht it was a new inward apprehension or view that I had of God, such as I never had before, nor any thing whicli had the least resemblance of it. I stood still, and woxidered am3
-W - *
-*.
EXTRACTS. 249
admired !I knew that E never had seen before aay thing comparable to it for excellency and beauty : It was widely different from all the conceptions that ever I had had of God,
or things divine. I had no particular apprehension of any w e percjoa in the Trinity, either thft Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost; bat it appeared to be divine glory that I then beheld: And my soul rejoiced with joy unspeakable, !to see such a God,
such a glorious divine Being ;and 1 was inwardly pleased and satisfied, that he should be God over all forever and forever. My soul was so captivated and delighted with the excellency, loveliness, kreatness, and other perfections of God, that I was even swallowed up in him ;at least to that degree, that I had no thought (as 1-remember) at first, about my own salvation, and scarce reflected there was such a creMatureas myself.
Thus God, I trust brought me to a hearty 'disposition to exalt him, and set him on the
throne, and principdly and ultimately to aim at his honor and glory, as King, of the Universe.
I continued in this state of inward joy and peace, yet astonishment, until near dark, , without any sensible abatement; and then
began to thing and examine what I had seen ;
and felt sweetly composed in my mind all the eveningfollowing:Ifeltmyself ina new world,
244 EXTRACTS.
and every thing about me appeared with a
different aspect from what it was wont to
do.
A t this time the way of salvation opened :o me with infinite wisdom, suitalReness, and'excellency, chat I wondered I should ever think of any other way of salvation ; was amazed that I had not dropped my own contrivances, and complied with this lovely, blessed, and excellew, way before. If I could have been saved by my own duties, or any other way that I had formerly contrived, my wholc soul would now have refused. I won. dered that all the world did cot see and cornply with this way of salvation, entirely by the righteousness of Christ.
The sweet relish of what I then felt, continued with me for several days, almost constantly in a greater or less degree : I could not but sweetly rejoice in God, lying dowa and rising up.
No. IV. F
ROM my childhood up, my mind had
been wont to be full of objections qpinst the docaii~e of God's sovereignty,
in choosing whom he would to eternal life,
and 'rejedbg whom he pleased ; leaying them etenially to perish, and be everlastingly tormedted in hell. It used to appear like a horrible doctrine to me. But I remember the time very well, when L seemed to be convinced, and fully satisfied, as to this sovereignty of God, and his justice in thus eternally disposing of men, according to his sovereign pleasure. But never could give an account, how,*or by what means, I was thus convinced ;not in the least imagining in the time of it, nor a long time after, that there was any extraordinary influence of' God'!: Spirit in it :but only that now I saw further, pnd my reason apprehended the justice and
reasonableness, of it. However, my minc rested in it; and it put an end to all those cavils and objections, that had till then abodc with me, all, the preceding part of my life and there has been a wonderful alteration ir my mind with respectto the doctrine o
God's sovereignty, from that day to this ; sc that I scarce ever have found so much as th rising of an objection against God's sove reignty, in the most absolute sense, in shewin; mercy to whom he will shew mercy, and hard ening and eternally damning whom he wil
G~d'sabsolute sovereignty and justice, wit respect to salvation and damnation, is whz my mind seems to rest assured of, as rnuc
P X
946 EXTRACTS.
9 PS OP any thing that I see with my eyes ; at
least it is so at times, But I have often times since that first conviction, had quite another . kind of sense of God's sovereignty than I had then. I have often since, not only had a donviction, but a ddighrful Coovictim The doctrine of God's sovereignty has very often appeared, an exceeding pleasant, bright and sweet doctrine to me: and absolute sovereignty is what I love to ascribe to God.
EXTRACT.
No. V.
I - EDWARDS' RESOLUTIONS. 1 '
sensible that I am unable to do any thing without God's help, I BEING do humbly intreat him by his grac8, to enable me to keep these resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will, for Christ sake.
Remember t o r e a d over these resohtions once a
wee.4. I. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I hi& to be most to God's glory, and my own zood, profit, and pleasure, in the whole of ny duratim, without any consideration of rhr