high and delivered me out of the deep waters.
JOHN NEWTON. 57
forgiven ; and was therefore expecting, and almost, at times, wishing to know the worst of it.
I am, Sir,
Yours.
January 19, 1763.
Dear Sir, T
HE 10th (that is in the present stile the
21st) of March, is a day much to be remembered by me, and I have never suffer-. ed it to pass wholly unnoticed since the year
1748. On that day the Lord sent from on high and delivered me out of the deep waters. -I cyntinued at the pump from three in the morning till near noon, and theri I could do no more. I went and lay down upon my bed, uncertain and indifferent, whether I
should rise again. In zn hour's time I was called, and not being able to pump, I went to the helm, and steered the ship till midnight, excepting a small interval for refreshment. 3 had here leisure and convenient opportunity 0 2
LIFE-OF
for reflection :'Ibegan to &ink of my former religiucs Frofessioils the extraordinary taxis in ~xiylife ; the calls, warnings, and deiiverilces, I had met with, the licentious course of my conversation, particularly my unp*ral!eied effrontery in making the gospel history (which I could nor now be sure was false, though I was not yet assured it was true) the constant subject of profane ridicule, I thought, a!lowing c!x scriprure premises, there never was nor could be s:xh a sinner as myself, and $hen comparing the advantages I
broken through, I cc~nclucled, at first, that rny sins were tcm great to be fcrgiven. The scripture like rise' seemed to say the same ; fcr i h d f : ) r r ; d ybeen well accpainted with the Eilde, a d ni.tny passages, upon thc occ~ision,r.erurncd to r=y mcinory, partisularij. time an-ful !:,:ss:!:es, Prov. i. .-4-!;l. Hcb vi .!.. G. iml: L. I'cr. Li. '20. which sccmed so e ~ r c r l yto SE.: m y case and charac:er, asto bring with them 3 prcsuiiip:ive proof of a divine original. Thus, .is l have said, 1 waited with fear and irnpatier.ce to receive m y inexhhle doom. Yet, tliough I had thoughts of this kicd, thejwere exceeding fain; ;~ndd~syr.opo~tlol-::i:r;it rndq not rili lollg afier. (pc.rhaps several pxrs) 1 had gained some clfa:. views of tix i~lfi~lit.eright-eous~ess a d pmce of Christ Jt.;i~smy Lnril, that 1had a deep and strong app-ehension of my state
'JOHN NEWTON. 79
nature and practice, aud pethaps, till then, I could not have bohe th,: sight. SO woederfully does the Lord prgportion the &scoveries of sin and grace ;for he knows our frame, a+ that, if he v7as to pnt hrth the greatness of his power, a pool sinlier wo$d .be instantly overwhelmed, and crusld as a
moth. But to return, when I saw, be) ond all probability, there was still hape of respite, and heard, about six in the eveilingl, that the ship was freed from water-there arose a gleam of hope. I thought I saw the hand of God displayed in our fhvor ; I began to pray-I could not utter tlie prayer of faith ; I couid not draw iiear to a recrinciled God ; and call him father. My prayer was like the cry of the ravens, which yet the Lord does not disdain to hear. I now began to think of that Jesus, whom I had so often derided ; I recollected the particulars of his life, an3 of his death ; a death for sins not his own, but, as I rea.ember?d, for the sake &those, who in their distress, should put their trust in him. Aad now I chiefly ivan:ed evidence.--The comfort!ess principles of infidelity bere deeply riveted,,nnd I rather wished than believed these >l:ir~gs w t ~ e red facts. You will plcatie to omerve, sir, that I collect tlie strain of the reasonings axd exercises of m y mind in one view ;but I do no; say that all this passed at one time. The great question now was,