Conclusion
11
Doubt: putting it in perspective
How can we put doubt in perspective? One helpful way is to see how some biblical narratives help us grasp the nature of doubt, thus enabling us to deal with it more effectively. In earlier chapters, we explored how doubt arose through not fully understanding the situation. Two classic examples of this are provided by the exodus of Israel from Egypt in the Old Testament, and by the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in the New. Reflecting upon the exodus and the death of Christ puts doubt in its proper perspective. Let’s see how.
Doubt in perspective – the exodus from Egypt
The exodus from Egypt is one of the most powerful and memorable stories the world has ever known. It tells of the liberation of the people of Israel from their bondage in Egypt. It recounts their long and difficult struggle to gain access to the Promised Land. But it also helps us understand how doubt arises, and gives us some clues about how to see it in its proper perspective. Three points are of especial importance about that exodus.
1. It means leaving behind security. ‘Why did we ever leave Egypt? Things weren’t so bad there!’ For some of the Israelites, the realities of life as they passed from Egypt to the Promised Land were unacceptable (e.g. Numbers 11:1–20). They began to look back on their days in Egypt with something approaching nostalgia! They thought liberation from Egyptian captivity would mean the end of all their problems. Instead, they found themselves with a new set of problems!
Some people begin the Christian life with the mistaken idea that all will be marvellous thereafter. When things get tough, they begin to doubt. Yet what we are promised in the gospel is not an easy ride through life. The Christian life is difficult and demanding. Liberation from bondage to sin and the fear of death opens up the prospect of a new life and a new lifestyle – but they are not easy options. Our responsibilities to God are demanding, and the challenges he lays before us are considerable. But we are promised that, whatever life may hold for us, God will be present to support and sustain us. I simply cannot express adequately how comforting and important that is.
2. It means going through a wilderness period. The people of Israel set out from Egypt in good spirits. The presence and power of God were made clear and real through signs and wonders. God seemed close and real during those first days. And then the long, hard journey through the wilderness began. The going got tough. The memory of the presence and power of God faded. Signs and wonders seemed far away. Disbelief and doubt began to set in for some. Of course, the promise of the presence of God had not been cancelled. Nor had the Promised Land been set to one side. But the promises seemed unreal in the wilderness situation.
Some Christians encounter the same kind of experience. They feel they are struggling through a spiritual wilderness. The dynamism and excitement they may have felt in the first days of faith seem to have gone forever. They are suffering from spiritual drought and famine, and are unable to satisfy their needs. Doubt sets in. It is at this point that spiritual discipline becomes crucially important. Keep going! Learn to make use of the resources available in that situation. After all, the Israelites were provided with manna from heaven, to keep them going through the wilderness till they entered the Promised Land.
Look around, and see what the Lord has made available to you. There are individuals you can talk to, who have been through that same wilderness experience, and can tell of its trials and tribulations. They can tell of the joy of leaving it behind, and of the spiritual lessons they learned. There are books you can read. But above all, see a wilderness experience as a possible time of growth – a time in which you can learn more about yourself, and about God. A wilderness experience is a time of trial. Your faith is being tested and its weak points identified to you and for you.
An illustration may help make this clearer. I was born in Belfast, the capital city of Northern Ireland. One of the greatest moments in the history of that city was the launching of the White Star Liner Titanic in 1911. The greatest ship ever built, it was destined to work the dangerous run across the Atlantic Ocean. But would it stand up to the conditions of that run? Would it survive the dangerous seas or the ice packs off the Canadian coast? In the course of its journeys across the ocean, it would encounter severe and testing conditions. Could it cope with them?
To answer this question, the Titanic was subjected to sea trials. In theory, they would test the ship to its limits, showing up any obvious weaknesses. Once these weaknesses could be detected, they could be put right. Then the really dangerous voyages could be undertaken. Sadly, those sea trials were not severe enough. The ship was passed as seaworthy. The cruel truth came to light when she sank on her maiden voyage in 1912 with terrible loss of life.
The Christian life is like a long and dangerous voyage, during which your resources may be tested to the full on occasion. But will they be good enough? Is your faith deep enough, and your trust in God strong enough? Think of doubt as being like a sea trial, gently showing up your weaknesses. Once you know what they are, you can do something about them – so that if real difficulties come your way, you’ll be able to cope with them. It’s all part of growing deeper in your faith (see 1 Corinthians 10:13; 1 Peter 5:10).
Doubt, then, can be a wilderness experience. If you feel you are going through this kind of experience, use it positively. Remember that Jesus himself went through a period of testing in the wilderness, as God prepared him for the great tasks awaiting him (Matthew 4:1–11). Are you being prepared for a task? The early Christians used to go into the wilderness to get away from all sources of distraction, so that they could concentrate upon God. Tell God about your feelings of doubt, of loneliness or emptiness. Commit them to him. And stay close to him, giving him some breaks. Trust him. The Promised Land is still there, awaiting your entry – with God by your side.
3. It means trusting in the promises of God. God promised the people of Israel ‘a land flowing with milk and honey’ (Exodus 13:5). Yet during their period of wandering in the wilderness, they knew nothing but a barren land. The Promised Land was something held out in front of them, like a carrot in front of a donkey. The thought kept them going. Yet some found it too distant a hope. It was too far in the future. They wanted instant satisfaction. They had left behind security and the comfort of the known, and were being asked to keep going into the unknown on account of the promises of God. For some, that seemed too great a risk to take. And so they doubted.
Looking back on this, we can see they were mistaken. The final entry into the Promised Land triumphantly vindicated the faithfulness of God to his promises. But you can understand their feelings at the time. The Promised Land seemed hopelessly distant. And for some Christians, the promises of eternal life seem very far off. If this is the case for you, try to think yourself into the exodus situation. Try to imagine how difficult it must have been to trust in the promise of the land flowing with milk and honey, when all around you was nothing but wilderness. Then turn your mind to that great moment when Israel crossed the Jordan, and entered the Promised Land. Can you see how the exodus gives us insights into our own situation? It reminds us that, even though God’s promises seem far off and distant, they will still be fulfilled. And we are not left without comfort as we trust: God gives us his Holy Spirit to comfort, reassure and challenge us, as we journey in faith.
Doubt in perspective – the first Good Friday
Try to imagine what it was like for the disciples on the first Good Friday. They had given up everything to follow Jesus. Their whole reason for living centred on him. He seemed to have the answers to all their questions. Then, in front of their eyes, he was taken from them. He was to be publicly executed. You can feel an immense sense of despair as you read the Gospel accounts of the death of Jesus. Perhaps the disciples were hoping for a miracle. Certainly, there were those in the crowd of spectators who expected God to intervene. Others were more sceptical. ‘He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him’ (Matthew 27:43, NIV). There seemed to be no trace of God’s presence or activity at Calvary. As Jesus became weaker, the disciples must have become increasingly despondent. There was no sign of God intervening to transform the situation.
Finally, Jesus died. That would probably have been the darkest moment in the lives of the disciples. They were already demoralized enough, as Peter’s denial of Jesus demonstrated. Now, as they watched the scene from a distance, it must have seemed as if their entire world had collapsed, shown up as a fraud and an illusion. What sorts of thoughts might have gone through their minds? Perhaps that Jesus was no different from any other man? Perhaps that God was not there – or that if he was, he showed no interest whatsoever in the fate of Jesus?
Of course, we know the outcome of that story. We know how the disciples’ sorrow was transformed to joy and wonder, as the news of the resurrection of Jesus became known. The theme of the resurrection of the crucified Christ pervades the writings of Paul, and provides the standpoint from which he interprets the crucifixion. The cross is not to be seen as a dead end, but as a crucial stage on the road to resurrection and glorification. When we read the Gospel accounts of the suffering and death of Jesus, we cannot help but think ahead to his resurrection. We know there is a happy ending to this apparent tragedy.
Now try to imagine yourself standing among the disciples as they watched Jesus suffer and die – without knowing he would be raised again from the dead. Set aside your knowledge of what happens later, and try to imagine what it must have been like to watch Jesus die on the cross. His suffering seemed utterly pointless. What could be achieved through it? And where was God in all this? Why didn’t he intervene? It was all enough to make anyone doubt whether God existed in the first place. And if he did exist, he seemed to be totally indifferent to the sufferings of Jesus. What hope was there for anyone else, if God treated Jesus in this way? It is easy to get a feel for the sense of despair and bewilderment on that sad day.
But all those doubts were resolved through the resurrection. The apparently pointless suffering of Jesus was revealed as the means through which God was working out the salvation of sinful humanity. God was not absent from that scene; he was working to transform it from a scene of hopelessness and helplessness to one of joy and hope. God’s love was demonstrated, not contradicted, by the death of his Son (John 3:16; Romans 5:8). The resurrection transformed the disciples’ understanding of the way in which God was present and active in his world.
Let’s apply this model, and see what insights it affords. First, it brings home to us how unreliable experience and feelings can be as guides to the presence of God. Those around the cross didn’t experience the presence of God – so they concluded he was absent from the scene. The resurrection overturns that judgment: God was present in a hidden manner, which experience mistook for his absence. Do you feel God is absent from your life, or from certain difficult situations? Are you bewildered by events, or in despair over the way things are going? Then think of the first Good Friday, when God also seemed to be absent, only to be shown to have been working in a hidden and mysterious way to transform it in a totally unexpected manner. The promise of resurrection was there: Jesus had assured his disciples he would be raised to life on the third day after his crucifixion (Matthew 20:17–19). Yet, in the desperation of that crucial moment, that promise had been forgotten, perhaps even doubted. Experience seemed to suggest it could not be fulfilled. The first Good Friday reminds us of the need to trust in the divine promises made to us, rather than rely on our feelings and experience.
Second, it allows us insights into the mystery of human suffering. Without knowledge of the resurrection, the sufferings of Christ seemed pointless and meaningless. With the knowledge of the resurrection, and the inestimable benefits of salvation and forgiveness that flow from it, those sufferings are seen in a new light. He suffered for us, so that through his suffering, our sin might be forgiven and our human natures healed. ‘He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows...he was pierced for our transgressions’ (Isaiah 53:4–5, NIV).
This theme is developed in many ways in the New Testament. Perhaps its bearing on the suffering of believers is of most relevance to this discussion. For Paul, Christians are those who are heirs of God by adoption (Ephesians 1:4–5; cf. Romans 8:12–21). They are entitled to receive from God the same inheritance as his own Son, Jesus Christ. What is that inheritance? As the cross and resurrection make clear, the inheritance of the believer is glory gained through suffering: ‘we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory’ (Romans 8:17, NIV). Suffering is thus seen as a sign of faith, a token of the glory to come. It is not something that can be bypassed.
Thinking of the first Good Friday, then, helps us put our doubt in context. It allows us to see it in a new and proper perspective. We learn to see our own situation, our own doubts, our own anxieties, as being like that scene at Calvary. People asked questions that could not be answered; they voiced doubts that could not be silenced. It seemed difficult to trust God. Yet those questions and doubts were seen in a new light on account of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. God surprised everybody, as far as we can see, on that first Easter Day. It is this model that provides a key to our own questions, doubts and anxieties.
Doubt partly arises on account of our inability to see the whole picture, to understand how the various elements of our experience interlock. Just as faith sees the crucifixion in terms of the resurrection, so we must view the perplexities of the world in the light of its future transformation into the New Jerusalem (Revelation 21:1–5). The hopelessness and helplessness of Good Friday are given new meaning in the light of Easter Day, just as the ambiguities and suffering of the present day will be seen in a new light when God brings history to its end. Good Friday and Easter Day are a model for understanding the way in which God is present in and at work in his world: just as Good Friday is given its meaning through Easter Day, so the pain and problems of the present day will be given new meaning at the end of time. The doubt of Good Friday gives way to the faith of Easter Day. We do not fully understand how God is working out his purposes for the world and for us; what we do know is that God affirms, both in word and in deed, his utter faithfulness to us. He is one in whom we can trust. ‘Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you’ (1 Peter 5:7, NIV). If we cannot trust God, who can we trust?
Perhaps some will suggest we should rely on our own perception of the situation, which seems to raise difficulties for faith. But, as the events of Calvary indicate, our perceptions of the situation can be hopelessly misleading and inaccurate: it is at best a partial perception, in that we do not have access to all the data we require in order to make an informed analysis. God was perceived to be absent from the crucifixion – until the resurrection demonstrated him to have been present, secretly working out the redemption of humanity and the glorification of his Son.
Perhaps others might suggest that we rely upon our feelings and emotions. If God isn’t felt as real, he isn’t real, they might suggest. If we don’t experience him as present, he isn’t present. But how unreliable our feelings can be here! They are influenced by a huge variety of factors: our health, the weather, the state of our bank balance, our personal relationships, our work or career – just to name the more obvious ones! God doesn’t cease to exist just because you’ve had a bad day at the office or had an argument with a friend. Your emotions, distracted and confused by your various anxieties, may tell you God isn’t there – but that is not a particularly reliable or informed judgment!
In the end, Christianity stands or falls with the trustworthiness and reliability of the God who raised Jesus Christ from the dead. By meditating on that first Good Friday, we can remind ourselves of the unreliability of our own judgment on the one hand, and the faithfulness of God to his promises on the other – and thus we can put doubt in its proper perspective. For, seen properly, doubt is not a threat to faith, but a reminder of how fragile a hold we have on our knowledge of God, and how gracious God is in having revealed himself to us. For, without God’s revelation of himself, we would have been left totally in the dark concerning him and his love for us. God is not capricious or whimsical, nor does he fail to stand by his promises or to act in accordance with his nature and character, as we know it through Scripture and through Jesus Christ. Instead, we know a God who is faithful to his covenant, who promises mercy and forgiveness to those who put their trust in him. Instead of trusting in our own perception of a situation, or relying upon our feelings and emotions, we should learn to trust in the faithfulness and constancy of God.
The importance of apologetics
Finally, I need to stress the importance of the Christian discipleship of the mind. ‘Apologetics’ is basically about being able to give answers to people who want to know more about Christianity. ‘Always be ready to make your defence to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you’ (1 Peter 3:15). Sometimes these questions are about problems people have with faith – for example, the presence of suffering in the world, or the difficulty in accepting that Jesus is indeed the Son of God. At others, the questions are about the relevance of the gospel. Why is the gospel good news? How does it affect me? As Christians, we ought to be able to give answers to these questions. It is essential to effective evangelism.
But can you see that apologetics is important for another reason? It will certainly equip you to answer your friends’ questions. But it will also help you answer your own questions. Apologetics is not only about engaging with the questions our culture is asking. It is about engaging with the questions that linger within our own souls. As I bring this book to a close, I would urge its readers to take the time to undertake this ‘discipleship of the mind’. Before you can answer the questions about faith raised by the world, you need to answer them for yourself. And there are answers to be found – answers in abundance, that will sometimes reassure you, sometimes challenge you, and sometimes excite you.
For Christians, apologetics can be thought of as functioning in two quite different ways, which we could describe as ‘objective’ and ‘subjective’. Objectively, apologetics reassures those inside the church of the credentials of the Christian faith. It aims to reassure Christian believers of the reliability of the Gospels, the reality of the death and resurrection of Christ, and the interpretation of these events in Christian doctrines such as the divinity of Christ. It provides them with answers to some of the questions they themselves are struggling with, and thus enables them to resolve these issues. And that means they are much better equipped to handle those same questions, when asked by searchers.
And subjectively, apologetics creates a climate of intellectual confidence. By this, I do not mean arrogance or complacency, but a quiet confidence that the Christian faith is, first, true, and second, really works. This means that believers come to ‘feel good’ about their faith – not so much individual aspects of that faith, but faith in its broad totality. Apologetics builds up confidence in the total package of the Christian gospel, and thus creates an atmosphere of confidence within the church – a climate of confidence that in turn nourishes evangelism and church growth. So apologetics both nourishes the faith of believers, and encourages and resources outreach to those beyond the church.
So may I leave you with a challenge? It is this: to discover why Christians believe in the Trinity. Or the divinity of Jesus Christ. This is to reassure yourself of their truth and their relevance. I have mentioned only two areas of faith; you can easily add to this. Remember my argument throughout this book: doubt is often a symptom of a faith that needs to grow – to put down deeper roots. Studying apologetics is one way of nourishing your mind and strengthening your faith. It will help you to grow in faith – and to answer those questions your friends will want to ask you.
Conclusion
Doubt is a subject many Christians find both difficult and sensitive. They may see it as something shameful and disloyal, on the same level as heresy. As a result, it is often something they don’t – or won’t – talk about. They suppress it. Others fall into the opposite trap – they get totally preoccupied by doubt. They get overwhelmed by it. They lose sight of God through concentrating upon themselves. Yet doubt is something too important to be treated in either of these ways. Viewed positively, doubt provides opportunities for spiritual growth. It tests your faith, and shows you where it is vulnerable. It forces you to think about your faith, and not just take it for granted. It stimulates you to strengthen the foundations of your relationship with God.
I hope this book will not just help you to handle doubts, but will allow you to begin evolving strategies for spiritual discipline and growth, developing both the personal and doctrinal aspects of your faith. Viewed positively, doubt can be a way to rediscover the full depths of faith, and grow in your commitment to the gospel. It is a constant reminder that we need to discover more of this God who has called us, and invites us to know him more fully and deeply. Be reassured that ‘The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do this’ (1 Thessalonians 5:24).