CHAPTER XLVII – 7. Reputation of spiritual gifts and abilities to be denied
sacrilege), too many sermons are preached, and too many learned books are written, to gain the reputation of being learned men. Ah, miserable, low, unworthy studies! Profane sermons! Ungodly labours, and poor reward! O, how it nettleth some proud spirits, if they hear that they are taken to be no scholars; and how many take their University degrees to be merely the wings of this part of their vainglory. Learning and degrees, and the reputation of it, are all good, if they be valued and used but for God: but they are so much the worse when they are sacrificed to self, and made the food and fuel of pride. Learn, therefore, this part of self-denial.
CHAPTER XLVII
Reputation of Gifts and Spiritual Abilities, &c.
7. ANOTHER piece of vainglory to be denied, is the reputation of our gifts and spiritual abilities: I mean such as praying, and preaching, and disputing, and good conference, to have readiness for words, and liveliness of expression, and exactness of method: to be esteemed in all these a very able man by others, is a high part of self-interest to be denied. The duties themselves must be denied by none, for they are the service of God, commanded us by his word; but it is the honour that self presumeth to hunt after in these holy things. And it is a double sin here to seek ourselves, when we are specially commanded to seek God, and where the work is instituted for that end; and when we pretend to seek God and to deny ourselves. The greater are our abilities to do God service, the more resolutely and thankfully we should improve them in his service; but we must remember, that they are given us to save others by our improvement, and not to destroy ourselves by our pride. Get as great abilities as you can, and
when you have them, thank God for them, and use them for him to the uttermost of your power; but take heed lest pride should sacrifice them to yourselves, and pervert them from your master's service.
The persons that have most need of this advice are especially these following: 1. Young, inexperienced professors, that are but lately turned to a profession of a godly life; that have so much illumination as sheweth them much that before they knew not, and raiseth them above the vulgar measure, but yet hath made them but smatterers and half-knowing men. These are they that the apostle requireth should not be made bishops or pastors of the church, because of their proneness to this very sin that now we are speaking of, "not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride, he fall into the condemnation of the devil," (1 Tim. 3:6.): the Spirit of God here intimateth to us, that novices are the most likely to be lifted up with pride, and that this pride is the way to the condemnation of the devil.
2. And men of great abilities, natural or acquired, that have withal unsanctified hearts, are ordinarily transported with this odious vice.
A strong wit and a voluble tongue, and learning to furnish it with matter, are notable servants to pride of heart, where that spiritual illumination and holiness is wanting, that should abase the proud, and turn men's parts a better way. To all that are apt to be tainted with this odious vice, I would recommend these following considerations:
1. Consider what a dangerous sign it is of a graceless, hypocritical heart, where pride of gifts doth much prevail. It is as inseparable from a child of God to be humble and little in his own esteem, as for
a new-born child to be really lesser than men at age. No more sincerity than humility in any.
2. Consider what cause of deep humiliation you carry about you in every duty! Besides all the wants and loathsome corruptions of your souls, which follow you wherever you go, the very sins of your duties, one would think, should humble you. O, to have such low conceptions, such dull apprehensions, such heartless, unreverent, poor expressions of such a God, such a Christ, such a glory, and such holy truth, should make us ashamed to open our lips before the Lord, and wonder that he doth not tread us into hell, instead of regarding us or our services, and that fire doth not come forth from his jealousy and consume us! It should make us so far from glorying in our performances, that it should drive us to Christ in every duty, to take him with us to shelter us from the flames of holy jealousy, so that we should not dare to go any further than he goes before us, and stands between us and the wrath of God, nor to speak a word but in his name, nor to expect any welcome but on his account. Shall a wretch be proud of that performance whose failings deserve everlasting torments? Must you be beholden to Christ to save you from the hell that the sins of your performances deserve, and yet dare you be proud of them? Let a Papist run that desperate path, that rails at us for saying that our best duties are mixed with sin, and that this sin deserves the wrath of God; let them refuse a physician that think not themselves sick; and let them tell Christ they will not be beholden to him for a pardon for the sins of their prayers and other duties; but for shame let not us be guilty of this, who profess to be better acquainted with our infirmities.
3. Consider also that you have to do with so holy and glorious a God, that to be proud before him, and that in and of our very service of him, is a sin whose greatness surpasseth our apprehensions. Had you to do with a man like yourselves, you might better lift up yourselves against him. There is nothing comparatively in the presence of the greatest prince, to humble and abase you; but to be proud before the God of heaven, and that in and of our lamentably weak addresses to him; O, what a horridly impious, unreasonable thing is this! O man! if thy eyes were opened to see a little, a very little of the glory of that blessed God thou speakest to, how flat wouldst thou fall down! How wouldst thou fear and tremble! and cry out as the prophet, "Woe is me, for I am undone, because I am a man of unclean lips, and dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts;" Isaiah 6:5. Or, "Behold I am vile, what shall
I answer thee? I will lay my hand upon my mouth;" Job 40:4. And "I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear; but now mine eye seeth thee: wherefore I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes;" Job
42:5, 6. One glimpse of God's majesty would take down thy selfexalting thoughts, and humble thee with a witness.
4. Consider the examples of the holiest of God's servants. The example of Job and Isaiah I have now mentioned. Moses himself did think himself unmeet to speak in God's message, "He said unto the Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken to thy servant: but I am of a slow speech and of a slow tongue;" Exod. 4:10. And "He said, O, my Lord, send I pray thee by the hand of him whom thou wilt send;" ver. 13. When God sent
Jeremiah he said, "Ah, Lord God, behold I cannot speak; for I am a child;" Jer. 1:6. And Paul cries out, "Who is sufficient for these things!" 2 Cor. 2:16. So that it hath been the course of the most
seraphical prophets, and holy apostles to have low thoughts of their own abilities for duty; and yet have you enough to be proud of?
5. And consider that the nature of the holy employment that you are upon, one would think, should be enough to humble you. It is a confessing of sin, unworthiness and guilt, and will you be proud of this? It is a confessing that you deserve everlasting torment; and will you be proud of such a confession as this? The Lord be merciful to us, and save us from this unreasonable vice; who would think that it should be thus with a man in his wits? To confess that he deserveth hell-fire; and to be proud of that confession! your petitions are all humbling, if they be according to the word; you are beggars for your lives, for pardon of many and heinous sins, and should come as with a rope about your necks; you beg for deliverance from eternal misery: and should you be proud of such requests? Should beggars be proud, yea, such needy, miserable beggars, and be proud of their very begging? Nay, your very thanksgiving itself is humbling. For what do you give thanks for, but for salvation from these odious sins, and the damnation which you have deserved? And shall a thief be proud that he is pardoned and taken from the gallows? Pride is contrary to the very nature and meaning of all those holy duties that you are proud of.
6. Yea, the gifts themselves that you are proud of, should humble you. For, 1. They are from God, and not yourselves. "For who maketh thee to differ? And what hast thou that thou didst not receive? Now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory as if thou didst not receive it?" 1 Cor. 4:7. 2. You received them not for yourselves, but for God; and therefore have no reason yourselves to be lifted up by them. 3.
All gifts are for labour and duty, and must be once accounted for;
and therefore should keep you in humility and fear. To be proud of God's gifts, is to be proud of that which is given you to destroy pride in yourselves and others; for this is the end of them.
7. And it is a sign that you want exceeding much of that which you are proud of. You are proud of knowledge; whereas, if it were not for want of knowledge of that which should humble you, you would not be so proud. You are proud of your worth; and it is for want of real worth that you are proud. More light, and grace, and parts, would shew you that which would make you blush at the things that you were proud of.
8. And consider that you take the course to provoke God to bereave you of his gifts. He gave them to you for another use. If you will turn them against his face by pride, when he gave them to keep you humble; when you will exalt your carnal selves by it, which he gave you to exalt his Majesty, what can you expect but he should take them from you? And it is an easy matter with him to do it; yea to take away your very understanding, and leave you to the heavy plague of madness, seeing you were proud of your understandings, when alas, poor worms, you had so little cause.
9. If once you grow proud of your parts and gifts, you are in the high way to be given over to some fearful fall; at best to particular scandals, if not to some damnable heresy or apostacy. God may prevent it by your humiliation, but you are in the common road that leads to it. It is much to be feared that God will so far leave you to yourselves, as to let you fall into the dirt of some notorious sin, that your shame may fly abroad the world, instead of the vain-glorious fame which you desired; and that you may have somewhat to humble
you, that shall be written in your foreheads, and cannot he denied or hid. Or if you be hypocrites, and for damnation, it is most likely that you are in the ready way to some desperate heresy, or flat apostacy.
For we see that these are too frequently the consequents of spiritual pride.
10. Lastly, consider that the gifts you are proud of, are in danger of being unsuccessful to the church; God may, I confess, do good to others by them, though they do but choke yourselves; but ordinarily he denieth success to the proud, and blesseth weaker endeavours of the humble. Yea, often such men and all their parts become a plague and trouble to the church. For they use them to foment the heresies and divisions which they are given over to; and do more hurt than the ignorant, or the common sort of the profane. Learn therefore to deny yourselves of the reputation of your performances. If you feel any tickling delight when you are applauded, cast water on it suddenly, as on a fire kindled in your souls from hell. If you perceive the least stirring of discontent or envy, when the preaching or prayers of another are preferred, and yours less set by, take heed, and quench it; for you are entertaining a dangerous temptation. But if you should be so far lifted up, as to set up your judgments above their worth, and rise against your, teachers and the church of Christ, and desire to step beyond your callings, that your parts may be taken notice of, and you may be somebody in the church, and verify the prophecy of Paul, "Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them;" Acts 20:30. I say, when once you come to this, it is time to fear lest you be utterly forsaken, and become the shame and scorn of men, as you became the scourge and troublers of the church, and lest your self-exalting lay you as low as hell.