Chapter XIII
14. But even so, we still live by faith and not by sight, for we are saved by hope; but hope that is seen is not hope. Thus far deep calls unto deep, but now in "the noise of thy waterfalls."537 And thus far he who said, "I could not speak to you as if you were spiritual ones, but only as if you were carnal"538--thus far even he does not count himself to have apprehended, but forgetting the things that are behind and reaching forth to the things that are before, he presses on to those things that are ahead,539 and he groans under his burden and his soul thirsts after the living God as the stag pants for the water brooks,540 and says, "When shall I come?"541--"desiring to be further clothed by his house which is from heaven."542 And he called to this lower deep, saying, "Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."543 And "be not children in understanding, although in malice be children," in order that "in understanding you may become perfect."544 "O foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you?"545 But this is not now only in his own voice but in thy voice, who sent thy Spirit from above through Him who both "ascended up on high"546 and opened up the floodgates of his gifts, that the force of his streams might make glad the city of God.547
For that city and for him sighs the Bridegroom's friend,548 who has now the first fruits of the Spirit laid up with him, but who is still groaning within himself and waiting for adoption, that is, the redemption of his body.549 To Him he sighs, for he is a member of the Bride550; for him he is jealous, not for himself, but because not in his own voice but in the voice of thy waterfalls he calls on that other deep, of which he is jealous and in fear; for he fears lest, as the serpent seduced Eve by his subtlety, his mind should be corrupted from the purity which is in our Bridegroom, thy only Son. What a light of beauty that will be when "we shall see him as he is"551!--and when these tears shall pass away which "have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, 'Where is your God?'"552
CHAPTER XIV
15. And I myself say: "O my God, where art thou? See now, where art thou?" In thee I take my breath for a little while, when I pour out my soul beyond myself in the voice of joy and praise, in the voice of him that keeps holyday.553 And still it is
537Ps. 42:7. 538Cf. 1 Cor. 3:1. 539Cf. Phil. 3:13. 540Cf. Ps. 42:1. 541Ps. 42:2. 542Cf. 2 Cor. 5:1-4. 543Rom. 12:2. 5441 Cor. 14:20. 545Gal. 3:1. 546Eph. 4:8, 9. 547Cf. Ps. 46:4. 548Cf. John 3:29. 549Cf. Rom. 8:23. 550I.e., the Body of Christ. 5511 John 3:2. 552Ps. 42:3. 553Cf. Ps. 42:4.
cast down because it relapses and becomes an abyss, or rather it feels that it still is an abyss. My faith speaks to my soul--the faith that thou dost kindle to light my path in the night: "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted in me? Hope in God."554 For his word is a lamp to your feet.555 Hope and persevere until the night passes--that mother of the wicked; until the Lord's wrath subsides-- that wrath whose children once we were, of whom we were beforehand in darkness, whose residue we still bear about us in our bodies, dead because of sin.556 Hope and endure until the day breaks and the shadows flee away.557 Hope in the Lord: in the morning I shall stand in his presence and keep watch558; I shall forever give praise to him. In the morning I shall stand and shall see my God, who is the health of my countenance,559 who also will quicken our mortal bodies by the Spirit that dwells in us,560 because in mercy he was moving over our lightless and restless inner deep. From this we have received an earnest, even now in this pilgrimage, that we are now in the light, since already we are saved by hope and are children of the light and children of the day--not children of the night, nor of the darkness,561 which we have been hitherto. Between those children of the night and ourselves, in this still uncertain state of human knowledge, only thou canst rightly distinguish--thou who dost test the heart and who dost call the light day, and the darkness night.562 For who can see us clearly but thee? What do we have that we have not received from thee, who madest from the same lump some vessels to noble, and others to ignoble, use563?