Part 9
2 Corinthians 12. Scholars still debate whether this was Paul's experience or that of someone he knew. If Jesus and Paul and the apostles were highly reticent to speak about their private spiritual experiences and if countless great men and women of God since have shared their reticence perhaps we should be very careful about expressing these sorts of things in public. I am especially careful about the expression of private dreams and visions or the numerous accounts of trips to Heaven or Hell. In Colossians Paul sternly warns Christians about people who take their stand on visions they have seen and depart from the Head, which is Christ (Colossians 2:18,19). The exception to this is in small groups where intimacy has developed over time and permission for deep sharing is an understood part of the group dynamics. Those who followed David in the wilderness, the 12 disciples of Jesus and the various missionary companions of Paul are Scriptural examples of small groups that seemed to have lived and shared at a very deep level. Cell groups, bible studies and 12 Step groups are all places where sharing and emotional expression can go deeper for Christians. We all need outlets for our deep emotions and while friends and family should provide this, often they do not do it very well so some alternative structures need to be created. If our private world fails us we cannot just take our overwhelming emotions public. They need to be shared in private with a counsellor, a therapy group or a small group that will willingly accept emotions at that level and keep them in confidence. It is simply not safe to share yourself in public with a fallen world, which is not committed to respecting you and your privacy. How can we know what is appropriate expression of emotions and spiritual experiences? Firstly we need to ask does it match the emotional tone and volume of the group. Is the sharing much more intense than what other people are sharing? Is it much "deeper" than the group normally copes with? Is it in a tone of voice that is much louder and strident than the other sharing? Is it about matters that other people cannot cope with or have no personal experience of? Are people looking awkward and embarrassed? Are you expecting people who hardly know you to act as family or close friends, or even to be therapeutic for you? Secondly we need to ask if God meant us to share it in the first place. With some visions God told people to "seal up the scroll", and yet others were to be announced. When the seven thunders spoke the apostle John was not allowed to write down what they said. (Revelation 10:3,4) but to Ezekiel God said, "Son of man, eat what you find; eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel." (Ezekiel 3:1). We need permission from God to share our dreams and visions and without that permission the general rule should be to keep quiet and wait on God for His timing for that revelation. Thirdly we need to spiritually evaluate that which we think the Lord has told us to share especially if it has a high emotional content. Often the best thing to do is to carefully write down exactly what you think God wants you to say – just as the prophets wrote down their revelations. Then wait on it in prayer for at least 48 hours. The finally share it with two or three others that you trust and who can help you if you have accidentally said something that is not quite in line with Scripture. Many churches have the policy that all prophecy should be passed by the elders before being aired in public and this seems to prevent much abuse of the prophetic. Fourthly we need to be careful about the presence of young people and those with more sensitive and impressionable dispositions. Some horrifying sermon illustrations (especially one about a father letting his son be killed in a swing bridge to save a passing train) are so emotional that they can only be described as manipulative. These can scare young people in the congregation leaving them with distorted views of God and church. Sermons need to be G-rated when children are present.
Fifthly ministers need to be extremely careful about sharing intimate or sensational information, especially that of a sexual nature, from the pulpit. There are certain lines we need to draw when dealing with social evils and Paul refuses to comment about certain gross perversions that "should not even be mentioned among the saints" (1 Corinthians 5:1, Ephesians 5:3). Sensational and vivid material is seldom edifying unless it is masterfully handled. It tends to spark unhealthy associations, start rumours, and lead to idle curiosity or inform people about things they are better off being ignorant about. Confessions in particular should only be made to God alone or to highly trusted and confidential others. If some details have to go public because of the public nature of the offence they should be kept to an edifying minimum. Finally deep emotions should only be shared when there is genuine trust already present – not to elicit trust or as an act of manipulation. Some clever people share their emotions in a way that gets people in. They use emotional sharing to build trust – which they later violate. Proper emotional sharing is built on pre-existing trust and is not a tool to manipulate others with. Once we have the timing of our emotional expression right and decided on how private or public it is to be we then need to make sure that we deliver a clear, unambiguous and balanced message. Issues of Balance – Ensuring You Get Both Parts Of Your Message Across Emotions are often mixed and in order to express them clearly we need to give a picture of all the emotions involved in a particular situation and their relative strengths. For instance consider a Christian father watching his daughter go out on her first date with a godly young man from the church youth group. He may say something like:
"Jill, Steven is a good choice and I am pleased that you have chosen to go out with him and not some other guy. He is a guy of real character and I am sure he will treat you well. However that skirt you have chosen is a bit too daring. I know it is your first date and you want to be attractive but I want you to change it right now. I also want you back here by 10:00 pm and no later. That will make sure that your Mum and I can feel that you have a responsible attitude to dating and we can trust you in the future. Have a good night and have fun and don't forget to pray. I hope you enjoy the movie it sure sounds good." Here the father is expressing a wide range of concerns each in balance with the others giving a coherent message. The anxiety is not out of balance with the love and the clear rules are set in a general context of approval, care and concern. This is what I call the "light and shadow" technique. It involves expressing all aspects of an issue, its boundaries, the light and the dark and the various contrasts so it cannot fail to be understood. Often I use the phrases "I am saying" and "I am not saying.." e.g. "I am saying you need to redo that work, but I am not saying that you are a bad employee. I continue to value your services." By giving the contrasts, by clearly stating what you are saying and what you are not saying, the message is made completely clear and misunderstanding is removed. The concerned father in the illustration above may have just said "You are not going out in that skirt." without any further explanation. If he had done so the daughter may have leaped to a range of rather dramatic and negative conclusions. By including the reassurances, and placing things in context, potential misunderstanding and conflict was avoided. Paul often uses this technique in his epistles where he reassures the church of his prayers, love and concern and then firmly corrects a wide range of issues. This use of the "light and shadow" technique takes a while to master. First of all you have to know the main fears of the other person and then you have to possess the courage to address them directly. For instance in getting someone to do some very sub-standard work again you might say
"This work is well below your best George and I'm disappointed the you produced it. You are in no danger of being fired but I very much want you to lift your game and to do this over again. I value your work and I think highly of the contributions you have made in the past but this is just not good enough. I am sure you will do a better job this time around." The obvious fears of dismissal and of being thought incompetent are addressed and reassurance given. At the same time the message that it is not good enough is clearly and firmly conveyed. This raises one of the trickiest questions in human communication – how much emotional truth can we tell in a given situation? We may have the timing right, the choice of audience (private or public) correct, a balanced and tactful statement but how much do we tell people about the emotional truth of the situation? Issues of Emotional Truth – Why Not Fake It Till We Make It? Is not some pretence a normal and even an essential part of life? What about people who are in constrained social roles such as an archbishop or mayor where a high degree of emotional control is required? Do you really want an emotionally honest policeman during a crisis? Aren't we supposed to be joyful, so what's so wrong about faking a bit of enthusiasm? Christians do not express emotions for mere impression management, or for personal catharsis under the guise of authenticity. Emotions are expressed for the glory of God, for the edification of His people and or the love of one's neighbour. Thus a policeman in a crisis will not vent his or her feelings but maintain good emotional control and a professional demeanour as that is the right, loving and most edifying course of action in a crisis. Contrary to some pop psychology books this is not repression. It is in fact responsible Christian emotional management. It is not pretence; it is self-control. Pretence is when you pretend to be experiencing an emotion that you do not really have within you. Self-control is when you bring a real and existing emotion into line with God's will. Faking it till we make it tends only to produce good actors and skilful hypocrites. False emotion ends up deluding people and eroding our morality. We cannot lie about our emotional state without lying about ourselves and the danger is coming to believe the lie and losing touch with ourselves forever. On the other hand should we not be so in love with "total sincerity" that we answer the question "how are you?" with a list of woes and complaints! Our emotions should be true and not false but they should also be appropriate and edifying. We are to express true emotions that are modulated by the circumstances, timing and needs of the situation. We think before we emote. We aim to edify, to be appropriate, to inject those feelings into the situation that encourage, uplift or console. We balance truth with grace, bringing both to bear on the situation. Jesus did not retreat from expressing emotion, His emotions were real and authentic and spiritual. There was a solid and appropriate truth about them. Yet they conveyed grace and fitted the moment perfectly. Thus we should never fake an emotion except if you are actually an actor. Christian emotion is to be real, but it is also to be self-controlled. The emotion revealed should fit the circumstances, and it should edify others. If I am boiling mad nothing is gained by "being honest". I am far better off maintaining self-control. But neither should I fake happiness in order to disguise my anger. That ends up being self-distorting and untruthful. God is self-revealing but He is also self-concealing! He reveals the truth about Himself, a bit at a time, as we can manage and cope with. He does not reveal all of Himself at once. Similarly, we need to reveal the truth about ourselves, so we cannot pretend emotionally, but we need to fit that truth to what others can bear.
Conclusion In this chapter we have seen that there is a proper time for very emotion and that this is an "event time" not a clock time. We also saw that emotions have a proper intensity that depends on the person – being strong with the strong and weak with the weak. Emotions they have their proper audiences and private emotions belong in private. We have also seen a little on how to balance emotions in our speech and how to express them wisely and truthfully for the glory of God and the edification of others. Much more about appropriate emotional expression can be learned by observing people of integrity in your own culture and surroundings. Watch how they handle situations and how the delicate balances are achieved, what is said and what is left out, how they encourage and how they rebuke and how they carry the image of Jesus in their behavior. The final chapter will be about love. After all is not that what we are aiming at as we express our emotions? Discussion Questions
1. Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, what does it tell you about the timing of emotional expression?
2. How forceful should we be with people? What does it mean to be strong with the strong and weak with the weak? Have you ever been in a situation like Eli where you have realized that you have needed to change your approach?
3. How openly can we share our emotions? Which emotions are best kept private?
4. "Let everything be done for the edification of others." How does this principle affect the way we communicate personally? How does the principle affect how we should communicate in church?
5. List some ways in which misunderstandings can cause big problems. How can using the "light and shadow technique" help avoid this? Use the light and shadow technique as you tackle the following problem "Some good natured but rather active teenagers sit down the back of the church, nudge each other and are a bit playful during services though not in a bad way. Some of the crusty members of the church are affronted by this and have come demanding that something be done. You need to say something to both groups here. What do you say and how do you say it?
6. Should we fake it till we make it? Why not?
Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing (Ephesians 3:19 NKJV) to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:19, quoted above, is my favorite bible verse. It never fails to make me gasp in awe and wonder, especially the last phrase "that you may be filled with all the fullness of God". According to St. Paul you and I can be filled with all the fullness of God. That is absolutely mindboggling. If this verse was not there in Scripture I would have called it heresy and never dared to invent it. It's too much, and I cannot absorb it fully. God means us to become like Jesus who was the fullness of Deity in bodily form (Colossians 2:9). We partake of that sort of fullness and are to grow up in all aspects and be like Him. I am saying that we can partake of the fullness of God and be filled with it. I am certainly not saying that we can become God. We will not be "Him who sitteth on the throne". We will be the ones waving palm branches and having white robes and singing Alleluia in Heaven. Whatever being filled with all the fullness of God means, it does not turn us into an object of worship, or make us the Creator and sustainer of the Universe. Being filled with the fullness of God is sharing a nature, and is what theologians call "participating in the communicable attributes of God". The incommunicable attributes such as the 'omni's" belong to God alone. This promise that through love we can be filled with the fullness of God is a marvelous promise in the midst of a wonderful prayer. Lets look at the whole of Paul's prayer and put it in its proper context.
& < ( ' # ( C B > 2 $ * 4 B * , /( ) 0 $ + /( @ 0 * " $ * !! " ! "$ " " * " /( A 0 , $ $ * * " % $ * " "* + /( 0$ ! " " %/( 0 + , ! "% $ * $ * ; ./ - 0 F ! "$ * $ + !! " * / ( 0 "$ !* ! $ , B * " + + .. There is a succession of ideas and "spiritual stages" here, each of which leads to the next and forms the foundation for the one to come:
1) We are strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner self. 2) This leads to Christ dwelling in our hearts by faith. 3) We then become rooted and grounded in love 4) We comprehend with all the saints the greatness of the love of Christ 5) That we may be filled with all the fullness of God. The other chapters of this book have dealt with stage one - being strengthened in our inner self and, achieving personal mastery. They have also dealt with stage two and being focused firmly on Christ so He dwells in our heart by faith and we experience life and peace. Then in the last few chapters we have started exploring stage three and learned a bit being grounded in a loving lifestyle where we express ourselves in edifying ways. In this last chapter I shall try and take you through the last three stages – becoming rooted and grounded in love, comprehending the greatness of the love of Christ and being filled with all the fullness of God. All three final stages involve the mystery called love. The practice and the experience of love, leads us to the fullness of God. The high reaches of the spiritual life are about perfecting our ability to love God and love one another. Love is the ultimate in biblical EQ. The ultimate use of our emotions is love of God expressed in worship and that is the use they will be
put to in Heaven. The ultimate state of our emotions is pure love. The ultimate pitch of our emotions is when we can love our enemies.
7 ) ' < #' C B > 19 * + D9 * + $ * " $ * $ .D/' ' 01* 2$ $ * + $ * !* $ * " $ * $ * $ * $ * !* $ * /' ) 01 $ * $ $ * + % * + " ?* * ?* . /' @ 01 $ * + + $ * + $ * E : + F !! E /' A 01 $ * " $ * $ $ * E : + F !! E /' 018 $ * ! ?* $ * + ! . If we love our enemies we attain spiritual perfection. Loving our enemies and blessing those who curse us leads us to become sons of our Father in heaven (Matthew 5;43-45). In verse 48 Jesus' apparently absurd command is "you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect". This is as 'ridiculous' as saying we can be filled up with all the fullness of God. The two apparently absurd statements are of course connected. Love leads us to be in the fullness of God, and loving our enemies makes us perfect like our Father in heaven. Both perfections are attained through strenuous love. God desires us to dwell in perfect love where we can love friend and foe alike. The path to spiritual perfection is the path of loving our enemies, overcoming our fight or flight response, exercising our biblical EQ skills and dwelling in a perfect benevolence towards all, free from animosity, hatred, revenge and the spiteful impulses of the flesh. That is high ground indeed. {Let me quickly add that as I said earlier in the book, Biblical EQ is only part of our sanctification and a portion of God's work in us, however I think it is an important part.} Love is of course the fulfillment of the law, the perfection of what I am calling Biblical EQ and the one great Attribute of the Christ-like nature. Every Christian agrees with that. Its part of what Americans call "motherhood and apple pie". A global sentimental statement that makes us all feel warm and with which no-one dare disagree but which is apparently of little real consequence or practical value. In most bible studies everyone present can tell you love is a good thing and fulfills the law and we should be doing more of it, and the Good Samaritan was very nice and a wonderful example, and we should all love God and our neighbors and that means everyone, Amen. So I'm not going to say any of that. You already know it. I'm going to ask a few tough questions such as "Why don't we love very well at all, why are we still mainly selfish and only love a little bit?" and "Paul talks of the love of God being poured out in our hearts and this love transforming us from glory to glory and even making us perfect and filling us with the fullness of God. Was he just joking? Is that just theological waffle? Or is it for real? If its for real how can we get hold of it?" They are some of the real, "where the rubber hits the road" questions of Christian living and this book is all about those sort of questions, especially where they intersect with our emotional life. But first a definition of love:
Love is a lawful and practical way of life, which we live out from Christ within us, in a common benevolent connection with God and with others. Love is lawful. It rejoices in the truth and takes no pleasure in evil. (1 Corinthians 13:6) The true follower of God in the O.T. was someone who "loves Me and keeps My commandments" (Exodus 20:6, Deuteronomy 5:10). In the N.T. love is demonstrated in keeping the commandments of Jesus Christ.( John 14:15, 21; 15:10 1 John 5:3) In 2 John love is even defined by obedience: "This is love, that we walk according to His commandments" (2 John 1:6). Thus love is not some kind of maverick sentimentality that can ride roughshod over laws and do what it likes in pursuit of the grand passion. Love is God's nature at work and God is lawful and holy so love is lawful also.
Love is practical. As we saw in the chapters on beliefs our emotions are meant to move us to Christian action. Faith working through love should move us to do the good deeds that God has prepared beforehand for us to do (Ephesians 2:8-10, Galatians 5:6). The parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10;29-37) shows that loving your neighbour often involves practical action. This is backed up in innumerable passages in Scripture most notably James chapters 2 and 3 and in 1 John, particularly 1 John 3:16-18. ( B < ( @ #( C B > $ + !* * . * " $ * + ./( A 0* + D" * * + ; E /( 07 $ ! * + "* * * ./( 0 $ * * * . The specific practical help we are to love our enemies with is given in the book of Romans. ( - # ( C B > 8 12$ * $ * "$ %2 $ " + % "$ * ! .1/ ( 0: + ! $ + * + !+ " . Thus love is not a mere emotion detached from action. It is not a sentiment that we "can have in our hearts" without ever acting on. Love is a spur to action. Faith working through love moves us to do things of a practical nature Love is a way of life. & ) ( # C B > 8 ; ! ./ 0 + , + * " + * " ! ! ; # ". To "walk in love" means to make it our lifestyle. This lifestyle is reflected in Acts chapters 2-7 where the early church is shown living in love, helping widows, healing the sick, preaching the gospel, obeying the commandments and enduring persecution in a noble and forgiving spirit. The lifestyle of the early church was one of constant worship, constant fellowship, unity of soul and spirit and an incredible desire to meet one another's needs (Acts 4:31-37).. It was a lifestyle of love, empowered by the Holy Spirit and led by the apostles. This sort of lifestyle love is called 'abiding in love" in 1 John and means dwelling from day to day in love so it totally characterises one's life. The love we are called to, which perfects us, is thus not an occasional spurt of affection. Nobody can be made into the fullness of God by an occasional spurt of affection. Abiding love, that we can walk in and which transforms us, is not the warm gooey feeling you get singing Scripture choruses, though it is slightly related. Real love is a lot more solid and real and ethical and practical than that. Lets keep going and see if we can figure out what this abiding, transforming, lifestyle love is like. Love is lived out from Christ within us Love is a Jesus thing. Love is what Jesus in us wants to do. Love flows from Christ within us. The natural man cannot attain to this sort of love, the love that cares for enemies, that abides in the commandments of God and makes us into the fullness of God. If the natural man could do that then God would have kept Jesus in heaven. If the natural man was adequate to become like God then there is no need for a cross, a resurrection, an indwelling Holy Spirit and a new nature. So if we need a new nature to love then the old nature is useless and the Law is useless. Law-keeping does not makes us loving it only makes us defeated and condemned because we are weak and the flesh always wins (Romans 5-8, Galatians 3&4). At best the Law is a holy, and righteous and good tutor that brings conviction of sin and leads us to repentance. The natural man under the tutelage of the holy, righteous and just law just ended up a sordid mess. The flesh ran rampant. God got locked out. So God instituted a new covenant, in Christ, where the law is written on our hearts by the Holy Spirit and the Christian life is lived from the inside out, not from the law book in. Listen! You can only live the Christian life one way – from Jesus in you, out to others and the world. Love is not a feeling that comes into you. Love is living water that flows out of your inmost being because Christ dwells in your hearts by faith. Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! Christ in you is THE hope of glory. The only hope, the sole hope, He is all you have got in the fight against sin and the quest for a godly character. Your strength, intellect, cleverness, willpower and rulekeeping cannot avail. They are not a 'hope of glory". They are certain and agonising defeat. It is
God who is at work within you! Let the new man live the new life. Let Jesus in you love others through you. But how? That was my question for years as people would talk about living the new life from Christ within us. How do we get in touch with Christ within us and how do we "do it"? It just seemed like so much theory to me, a bit of swift-handed exegetical fiddling, a holding out of a hope that there was no way to lay hold of. But the early church did know this love. It worked for them and it can work for us. The secret is connection. Forge the connection with God and with others, and maintain that connection like your life depended on it, which it does, and Christ will flow out of your inmost being. No connection, no flow, deep connection, deep flow. Lets look at that a bit further. Love involves a common benevolent connection with God
( , @ ( A C B > * ? 4 . Many counseling theorists are now exploring the transformational power of love as it flows in direct personal connection to God and to others. Our selfish individuality has led us astray. For too long we have wanted counseling recipes we can work on our own without having to open up to God or man. We are discovering that God has designed His world to be firstly connected to Him and then to one another in a huge inter-connected cascade of love. In this regard I recommend the recent work of Larry Crabb and his book Connecting. I also recommend the work of Dr Ed Smith in Theophostics. These are just two people in a vast and growing movement trying to explore the transformational aspects of relationship to God and others. We are not islands, we are people and people need connection. This connection is a vital part of our EQ and a key to maturing in Christ. "To know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled.." (Ephesians 3:19). The knowing of the love is vital. It's the connection that is transformational. Its knowing Christ, and the extent of His love, that matures us. It's the experiencing of that relationship, and being rooted and grounded in love, which stabilizes us. I commenced my Christian life believing that I should be "well grounded in the Scriptures" and that was good and helpful. However it was only much later that I saw the need to be rooted and grounded in love and in Christ. You and I are grounded in a personal relationship with our Saviour. Now even if my Bible was confiscated I would still have my rock solid foundation in my relationship with God. The Scriptures have contributed immensely to that relationship of course. However I relate to a Person not a set of Scriptures or even a set of elegant doctrines. Now its God's Spirit within me, and His personal connection to me, that changes me from glory to glory.
, < ( A #( C B > 4 % 4 $ ./( 0* * + ! " "$ 4 " " "$ "$ ?* $ 4 . The Jews had the Torah but we have Christ and with unveiled faces we behold Him and by the power of the Spirit we are transformed, rooted and grounded and perfected in love, and go from glory to glory until we reach the fullness of God. Connection is everything and through it we receive the love that truly changes us. God is our greatest and only real need. We do not need to go on eating, or working or breathing, but we do need to stay in connection with God. We establish that connection at our conversion when we repent from sin and being disconnected and place our faith in Christ. We maintain that connection through setting our minds on the Spirit, on things above, and on Christ and the interests of God.
We need to make a definite clear commitment to fix our minds in the right place. That's the only thing we can do to keep the connection open. The mind is the only part of our consciousness we can control. Fixing it on God through prayer, meditation and concentrated love in the Spirit is all I can humanly do to maintain my transforming link with God. Through the transforming work this connection works in me I gain mastery over the fight or flight response, over the flesh and all the wrong impulses it contains. Through this connection I find the power to be obedient and I obey, in the Spirit, not according to the letter. Over time the Spirit produces His fruit in me and I bear love, joy and peace and become humble, meek, patient, gentle, kind and full of self-control. I begin to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me. I have the strength in the inner self not to retaliate. I become rooted and grounded in love and my world moves from being self-centred to God centred and other-serving. I start communicating with grace and ministering effectively and grasping the height and depth and width and length of the love of God until, many years from now, I am filled up with all the fullness of God. This connection seems horribly fragile at first and the Devil tries his best to break it. He assails it with doubt, confusion, distraction, lust, and every spiritual attack he can manage. The first part of this book addresses those concerns and it is clear that we can damage our connection through sin and carnality. Now lets look at what the Scriptures say about the nature of our connection to God. As you read the Scriptures below notice: a) What God has done to establish the connection with us, and the nature of that connection. b) What we must do to maintain the connection, c) How our connection with God also means connection with other Christians. ) ( #) C B > 8 + " 3 + , & * "* 4 B * , / 0 * "+ , , , , ? ! "$ ; ./< 0 $ * "$ * " * * ! + !%/' 0 + !!! % !! ./) 0 !* & .
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
B ' C B > 5# & $ * ., $ * $ * % * $ $ * $ * * # . + ( < C B > 12$ * $ * D . $ * . . + $ ! 7 $ * $ "$ * . God has done an enormous preparatory work. He has brought us near by the blood of Christ, which cleanses us from sin and allows us to approach the throne of grace in time of need (Hebrews 4:14-16). We have access to the Father through the Spirit and this access is so intimate that Paul says we are joined to the Lord and one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:17). We are at peace with God (Romans 5:1-5) and the love of God pours into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who is given to us. Yet as we saw earlier we can grieve and quench and resist the Spirit by sinning. Maintaining the connection means maintaining a good relationship with the Holy Spirit who is our access to God (Ephesians 2:18). To keep that connection wide open and draw near to God we must purify our hearts if we are double-minded and put away sin (James 4:8). We also need to deal with speculative spirituality that can disconnect us from the Head which is Christ (Colossians 2:19). We have to flee greed and worldliness and the love of money and pursue virtue as Timothy did so that we may lay hold of eternal life (1 Timothy 6:10-12). Keeping our connection strong may involve some vigorous effort, in the midst of persecution we may have to hold fast and not deny the faith, an injunction that appears man times in the letters to the seven churches (Revelation 2:13). What we are doing in all this is not inventing a new law but maintaining an existing relationship we have with God through faith according to His grace. Our relationship started with a faith connection to God and it is maintained by keeping that faith connection in good shape so that the Christian life can be said to be "from faith to faith".
( ( A C B > " * ; + % 18 ?* + $ .1 Now the faith connection is kept in good shape by intensely loving God, and having our minds fixed on Him so His Spirit can touch our consciousness, which is absolutely staked on things above. Christ in me wants to focus His entire attention on the Father and the things of the Spirit but for some reason that God has built into things, it requires my mind to be set on things above. There is an act of my will before Christ can most fully connect. As the Father communicates with His Son in me, by the Spirit which gives us access to the Father, I experience grace and am transformed. This grace requires my faith. I must trust God and trust His word and launch out and rest myself on Him. As I draw near to God by faith I will naturally move away from sin. If I want to stay near to sin, it is very hard to draw near to God. Faith means trusting that God is a rewarder of those who seek Him. Faith is the inner pragmatic calculation that the goodness I will receive through my connection with God far outweighs the goodness I think I will receive through sin. It's a decision that the word of God is reliable, and that the reward He promised will arrive, and that God is utterly trustworthy. God gives me a hint that this is so through the Holy Spirit, which is the guarantee of the inheritance to come. As I make this definite, tough, strong decision to seek my goodness in God and not in sin the Christ life within me is fully released. This is "holding fast". I do not mean that you need to hold fast or you will fall away. It's not that sort of holding fast. You are not in a precarious relationship with an angry Creator. You stand forgiven in the love of God. The problem is "me", not God, it is I who break the connection not
Him. I hold fast in order not to disconnect myself from the Head or grieve the Holy Spirit that pours Himself out into my heart. Lets try it another way. The relationship with God is rock solid on His side. I do not have to do anything to please Him. I am justified by faith alone and not by any works of the law. I am safe in grace. Its like a marriage here in the Philippines where there is no possibility of divorce. You can sin all your like in that marriage and theoretically and legally it will never rupture. It is rock solid. But I love my wife and I value our relationship and I have no wish to grieve her so I do not sin against her. Similarly I am safe with God, and legally speaking the relationship is rock solid, I can sin a great deal and still He will be faithful even though I am faithless (2 Timothy 2:13). But if I did so the transforming relationship of agape love would be in tatters. I have no desire to grieve Him, and so I choose not to sin, not because I "have to" in order to get into heaven, but because I want to in order to know Him more fully and because I want to be transformed by His love being poured out in my heart through the Holy Spirit. I have decided for the fullness of the Christ-like life. However sin grieves Him. Sin is disruptive to our relationship so it must go. I don't want it. What incentive do I have to make this tough decision? And what has it got to do with love, which after all is the subject of this chapter? This love that we abide in, and walk in, and which penetrates every corner of our being, is the royal highway to the highest reaches of the Christian life and the very ground of all that you and I will inherit in Christ. As we love, we fulfill the Law (Romans 13:10), become imitators of God (Ephesians 5:1,2), and perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect (Matthew 5:43-48), we attain to all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:19), and we abide in God and He abides in us (1 John 4:16), and we become like Him (1 John 3:1-3) and share key aspects of His nature so the apostle can say "as He is, we are". (1 John 4:17). This is not heresy it is Scripture. God intends us to be like Jesus, in every aspect and to be full of love. That is, we are to be spiritual, eternal, loving, wise and mature like Jesus is. We are the redeemed (Revelation 5:8-10). We are the brands snatched from the fire (Zechariah 3). We are the ones clothed in white standing before the throne of God, and as we stand there we will realise that we are like Him (1 John 3:1-3). Our destiny is to bear his image (Romans 8:2831) and we will be eternal, and immortal, and clothed in a spiritual body, (1 Corinthians 15: 4254). We will be so like Him that Jesus will not be ashamed to call us brethren (Hebrews 2:11-17). God has done something magnificent in us by grace, and seated us in heavenly realms with himself that the succeeding ages may marvel (Ephesians 2:4-7). The inheritance I want is to be so transformed by God's blazing love poured out in my heart that I am made utterly like Jesus Christ. That is something worth focussing on, and it makes leaving sin alone very worthwhile. Love involves connecting with others At this point some of you are probably saying something like "John, I thought this was going to be a wonderful, practical book, but you go and ruin it at the end with all that theology". Aha! This is the point, I could have left it as a 'wonderful how-to book" and you could have tried to put it into action in your own strength. And you would have done what you have always done and got what you have always got. Unless you learn to tap into the power of Jesus within you this book will only be a little bit useful to you. However if you get that connection going and God's power is at work within you and you set your sights on having your emotions redeemed so you can be like Jesus and love people – then, guess what? You will make ten times the progress. Now lets go back to our definition of love: Love is a lawful and practical way of life, which we live out from Christ within us, in a common benevolent connection with God and with others. What's the "and others"? What is so special about the early church? How come people loved each
other? How come my church is cold and dead and selfish? Going back to one of the questions I started this chapter with: "Why don't we love very well at all, why are we still mainly selfish?" Selfishness comes from people who believe in preserving themselves, at all costs, and being competitive. The selfish person who pushes into the queue at the ATM is self-preserving (of their time) and competitive (with the others in the queue). Selfishness results in envy and selfish ambition and a whole lists of rotten behaviors that cause disorder in churches and communities and are very well described in James 3 and Galatians 5. In direct contrast with this, love of others flows from self-giving via the cross. Lets look at a very famous passage of Scripture:
(John 3:16-18 NKJV) "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. {17} "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. {18} "He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. When God wanted to love the world He did not send a poem. He did not send an email with a nice graphic and a catchy tune. He sent His Son, thus He gave Himself. When we love others we send a bit of ourselves to them. When Christ loves others through us, He sends a bit of Himself to others through us. Early in my ministry I received a very nice note from a couple in the church who said, among other things "we see God's love shining out through you." I was flabbergasted and humbled. I had no idea that God's love could be seen in me. All I could see was my mistakes. Somehow Jesus had given Himself to others through me. As Paul said, (2 Corinthians 4:7 NKJV) But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. Thus when I love others I establish a connection and send a bit of myself along that connection to them, at the same time Christ uses that connection to send Himself to them. God is still sending His Son into the world – through you and I. Just in case you think I have gone all mad and mystical, go over the metaphors for the Church in Scripture. Christ is the Head of the church, which is His body, and so when parts of his body love a person He is loving the person. When I hold my wife's hand, it is not just my hand that is loving Minda, it is all of me, including my head and heart. Similarly when a part of Christ's body loves someone it is also Jesus loving someone. I went through a very dark time in my life once that lasted for a few months. Every time I was at my lowest a certain chatty friend would appear from nowhere with some of my favourite junk food and restore my spirits. Anne was like an angel. She was Christ ministering to me. In her I saw and felt God's love. God sent Jesus wrapped up in Anne. This identification between Christ and His people is so close that when Jesus revealed Himself to Saul on the Damascus Road , He said "Saul, Saul why are you persecuting Me?" and "I am Jesus who you are persecuting." To persecute the church was to persecute Jesus.
! ' #) C B > 8 "* + !$ " 1* * $ $ * !* " 7 E 1/) 0 13 9 * 4 E 18 4 12B * $ * !* ".2 $ * !" " .1 Christ is in His body. Where His body goes Jesus goes, what His body loves Jesus loves. What His body forgives, Jesus forgives. (John 20:23, James 5:15) What His body binds and looses on earth is bound and loosed in heaven. (Matthew 18:15-20). Thus there is a very intimate relationship between the love of Jesus and the love of His church. Jesus still loves the world in the sense of John 3:16, and Jesus wants to love the world, through His body the church. He wants to release His incredible love into His body that they in turn may release it to the world. The
church in the early chapters of Acts was a community filled with the transformational love of Jesus that then went out and loved people and changed the world. The basic job of the Church is not evangelism, its loving people. Loving them into maturity in Christ. (Ephesians 4:11-16) Ok why are so many churches cold and selfish or only lukewarm in their love? Here are a dozen or so reasons that may apply:
1) They have little idea of the Christ-centred and Spirit-filled life and are struggling along in legalism. 2) They have lost the vision or knowledge that the main task of the church is loving people into maturity in Christ. 3) Their concept of love is weak and little more than "being nice to people" combined with the odd affectionate statement. It lacks reality or practicality. 4) They have descended into fleshly behaviour or worldly behaviour and grieved the Spirit. 5) They have opted for control and respectability and quenched the Spirit. 6) They focus on the things of this world such as current events or politics or even good counseling theories rather than on Christ. 7) They have no mastery, no focus, no disciplined mental attitude, they are not steadily connected to Christ but are unstable, and are blown here and there by the latest fashions / "winds of doctrine". 8) They have opted for liberal theology or New Age trends and follow the teachings of men, which have the appearance of wisdom and godliness, but lack any real transforming power. 9) They are riddled with disunity; this robs them of power and love. 10) They are spiritually lazy and hard of hearing or they opt for comfort and avoid the cross. 11) They are financially dishonest like Ananias and Sapphira. 12) There is gross sin or immorality in the leadership. How then can the church be brought back to a place of burning blazing love where it loves Jesus above all and where we love one another with powerful agape love based in the Spirit so that Jesus is giving Himself away all day long in our midst? How can we get this "connecting with one another in the power of Christ and the love of the Holy Spirit" thing going?
1) Fix any of the above 12 faults that are wrong. 2) Renew worship so it is absolutely Christ-centred. Teach on the life and ministry of Jesus. 3) Fix their minds on eternity and seek the presence of the Holy Spirit. 4) Give people a vision for real biblical love as described in this chapter and get them thirsty for it. 5) Follow the leadings of the Holy Spirit. 6) Engage in real, helpful practical one-another ministry (see Gene Getz's excellent book on the one another commands). Love one another in deed and truth, not just word and tongue. 7) Try and build an adventurous, faith-filled learning community as described earlier in this book. All I am saying is connect the Church to God, and get them to release Christ in them to one another, then stand back. In a functioning Christian community the whole community is connected upwards to Jesus Christ who is the Head and then horizontally as Christ in us ministers to one another through an amazing network of interpersonal connections that carry the love of God. If each person is Christ-focused and self-giving then enormous power is present as they become one in the Spirit. I am not talking about the cultish Groupthink or group conformity, but a
creative Spirit-filled diversity, where people are one in soul and spirit but as different as can be individually.
& ' ( ( #( @ C B > "+ + " !/( 0 G * " $ $ " $ , /( < 0 ! * $ " ; ! * * * , %/( ' 0 * " ! ! * + $ ! $ !$ !* "! ! * "/( ) 0 * " * + $ "* " %, %/( @ 0 $ ? " $ + $ ? * !! " ! + " $ !+ $ !* " $ $ " + . Those who minister should edify the body of Christ into unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. We are back to where we began this chapter taking of the fullness of God. This fullness is achieved in community. Its something the body achieves for its members. We don't do it to ourselves. We have to love people and be loved by people if the fullness is going to happen for us. How do we get there? By speaking the truth in love, (v.15) and speaking the truth in love is a pretty good definition of what biblical EQ enables us to do. THE END Discussion Questions
1. What have you got out of this book? Have you changed?
2. Discuss the definition of love given in this chapter. What on earth is a benevolent connection?
3. How does love lead us to the high ground of the spiritual life? Why do you think Jesus says that loving our enemies will make us perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect?
4. What are the communicable and the incommunicable attributes of God? Which one can we participate in? How can we be "like Jesus"?
5. What are the five stages listed in Paul's prayer? What is involved in entering into being filled with all the fullness of God? What does this extraordinary statement mean?
6. How important is Christ in us when it comes to loving effectively?
7. How can a Spirit-filled community be a place of great blessing and love? How did the early church get love right?
Index
Acknowledging emotions, 148 Addictions, 22, 23, 27, 31, 33, 38 Adultery, 133 Adventurous discipleship, 88, 90 Affairs, 133 Affective computing, 140 Agoraphobia, 118 Altered states of consciousness, 136 Ambiguity, 90 Amnesia, 107 Amygdala., 98, 140 Apostles, 24, 29, 31, 40, 44, 76, 80, 90,
Classroom, 89 Commitment, 116 Commandments, 116, 157, 158, 160 Community, 88, 165 Congruent emotions, 150 Connection, 159, 161 Connection to God, 160 Conned by ourselves, 147 Conscience, 106 Consciousness, 99 Control of emotions, 132 Cults, 95 Curses, 71, 72, 73, 74 David. M. Burns., 50 Delaying gratification, 13 Deliverance ministry, 74 Demonic dreams, 137 Descartes, 99 Difficult conversation, 148 Diminished responsibility, 104 Disappointment, 11, 49, 125, 126, 130,
92, 93, 151, 152, 158, 161, 165 Archetypes, 28 Archimedes, 137 Authenticity, 10, 41, 42, 77, 90, 133,
150, 154 Authority, 113 Authority, 72 Balanced communication, 153 Baptism with the Holy Spirit, 21 Barrenness, 72 Basic doctrines, 91 Belief structure, 12, 26, 76, 79, 95 Beliefs
145, 147 Discernment, 120 Disciples
As learners, 89 Discipline, 115 Discussion Questions, 8, 13, 20, 30, 36,
Good works, 81 Inconsistent, 76 Learning to believe, 77 Why change them?, 77 Binary states, 83, 102 Biological urges, 22 Bitterness, 11 Body
42, 56, 75, 87, 96, 108, 123, 129, 138, 149, 155, 165 Disinhibition, 104 Dissociation, 107 Doctor, 107 Double-mindedness, 76, 77 Dr Claire Weekes, 118 Dr. Kath Donovan, 48 Dr. William Wilkie, 101 Dreams and visions, 136 Early church, 164 Eccentricity, 34 Ecstasy, Trance, Dreams and Vision,
And emotions, 97 Emotional memory, 98 Carnal Christian, 38 Cell groups, 152 Christian simplicity, 103 Christians
135 Edification, 151 Emotional Competence, 4 Emotional damage
Faith-abounding, 78 Miserable, 78 Churches, 164
And impaired judgement, 134 Emotional intelligence, 6 Emotional intensity, 9 Emotional lability, 101 Emotional maturity, 36 Emotional Modelling, 125 Emotional paralysis, 82 Emotional recognition, 140, 145 Emotional safety, 91 Emotional tone, 152 Emotional vocabulary, 142 Emotions
Fight or flight, 98, 105, 107, 111, 112,
117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 131, 132, 157, 160 Fight-or-flight, 98, 111, 112, 117, 118,
132 Financial needs, 93 Flesh, 105 Flesh and spirit, 106 Following our heart, 134 Folly
As causing spiritual problems, 66 Fruitfulness, 72 Fullness of Deity, 156 Fullness of God, 59, 60, 156, 157, 158,
Physiological basis, 98 Emotions
Ability to provoke, 131 And spiritual discernment, 133 Appropriate expression, 150 As a source of beliefs, 133 Five step model, 26 Fleshly, 10 Holy, 10 Human, 10 Identifying, 124 Physical correlates, 98 Preceding rigorous analysis, 134 Predictions, 38 Projecting on to others, 141 Recognising in others, 140 Types of, 10 Variance among people, 135
160, 162, 165, 166 Games, 76, 83, 174 Genesis 3, 72, 138 Gift of discernment, 144 God
Goodness of, 49 Godly emotions, 33, 34, 42 God's love, 4, 59, 163, 164 Golf, 4, 113, 119 Grieving the Spirit, 130, 138 Hebrews 11, 32, 49, 60, 78 Hegel, 99 Heroes, 32, 33, 112, 118 Holy Spirit, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 18, 20,
21, 22, 23, 27, 28, 29, 30, 35, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 51, 53, 59, 60, 61, 63, 65, 66, 67, 73, 74, 81, 90, 92, 94, 105, 106, 111, 114, 116, 122, 128, 130, 131, 133, 137, 138, 144, 150, 158, 160, 161, 162, 164, 165 Sins against, 39 Homogeneous, united leadership, 93 Human spirit, 7, 63, 65, 66, 68, 70, 74,
& < ( ' # ( , 156 EQ skills
Three stages of, 19 Ethics, 12 Event time, 82, 85, 87, 136, 150, 155 Exorcism, 71 Experiment, 91 Explanatory style, 44, 45, 46, 48, 56, 75 Explanatory style
75, 171 Illusion, 147 Image of God/image of Jesur, 14 Impression management, 154 Impulse control, 40 Inheritance, 162 Inner impressions, 144 Inner impressions, 134 Inner motivational factors, 83
Errors in, 45 False negative, 142, 143, 149 False positive, 142, 149 False positives, 145, 148, 149 Fear, 118
Instability, 54, 76, 137 Intentions
Life-scripts, 83, 84 Light and shadow, 153, 154, 155 Limbic system, 98 Love, 156
Conflicting, 84 Evil, 84 Intentions of our heart, 77, 81, 84, 86 Intents of our heart, 8, 82, 84 Intercessors, 151 Interpersonal connections, 165 Intolerance, 102 Jacob's Ladder, 15 Jerusalem, 44 Jesus
Definition of, 157 Of others, 163 Perfects us in Christ, 162 Love involves a common benevolent
connection with God, 159 Love is a way of life, 158 Love is lawful, 157 Love is lived out from Christ within us,
158 Love is practical, 158 Mastery, 4, 25, 33, 108, 111, 112, 113,
An appropriate model, 14 Baptism of, 21 Becoming like Jesus, 19 Beliefs of, 24 Body of, 21 Church as body of, 163 Cleansing of the temple, 24 Cultural and gender relevance, 18 Emotions of, 17 EQ skills, 19 Gethsemane, 119 Humanity, 15 In the wilderness, 113 Loves the world, 164 Marvelling, 25 On Galilee, 25 Perception of, 23 Soul and spirit of, 23 Spirituality, 18 Jesus' perceptions, 24 Joined to the Lord, 161 Jonathan Edwards, 36 Joy, 131 Jung, 62 Key sentences, 148 Kingdom perspective, 24, 31, 32, 33, 38 Larry Crabb, 159 Leaders, 92 Learning Organization
115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 126, 131, 132, 138, 156, 160, 164 Practical techniques, 117 Mental model, 128 Mental processes, 145 Meta-cognition, 6, 145 Methamphetamine, 104 Miind
Definition of, 113 Mind, 160
And mastery, 111 Directing, 115 Focusing, 106 How it works, 82 Mind-body dualism, 97 Mind-Brain problem, 99 Mirror principle, 142 Missionaries, 104 Models of the emotional life, 9 Moods, 7, 63, 70, 107 Morality, 12 Moses, 18, 33, 34, 58, 60, 104, 111, 119 Motherhood and apple pie, 157 Multi-cultural societies, 141 Multiplication, 72 Mystical attributions, 143 Neo-cortex, 83 Non-believers, 41, 42, 75 Obedience, 116 Occult, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74
And beliefs, 94 Learning Organizations, 88 Leibniz, 99 Leraning Organizations
Eight creative tensions, 91
Optimism, 44, 45, 172 Pay-off, 83 Perception, 44
Self-acceptance, 35 Self-control, 131 Self-control, 130 Self-esteem, 10, 147, 148 Self-exhortation, 51 Self-interest, 145 Selfishness, 145 Selfishness, 163 Self-revealing, 155 Self-talk, 76 Sensitivity, 141 Sensory stimulation
In and by the Spirit, 58 Perfected in love, 160 Permission to feel, 130 Personality changes, 102 Perspective restorer, 48, 50, 51, 56 Peter Berger, 86 Place to stand, 137, 139 Plausibility structures, 86 Positive confession, 55 Positive end results, 86 Positive-thinking, 78 Praxis, 79 Prayer and Meditation, 108 Prayer for the Ephesians, 156 Predications from theory, 31 Prejudice, 143 Pretence, 154 Pride and vanity, 147 Private emotion, 151 Prophets, 31 Psalm 30, 33 Psalm 31, 97 Psalm 42, 51 Psalm 73, 54 Psychosomatic, 86, 101 Public emotion, 151 Quenching, 130 Quiet life, 104 Red button, 131 Rejection, 49, 50, 127, 142, 143, 144,
Avoidance of, 102 Sentimentality, 36, 131, 157 Seven key aspects, 8 Shabu, 104 Sin
As cause of spiritual problems, 65 Sinners, 151 Sins of the spirit, 66 Social timing, 150 Solution-focused, 86, 121, 122, 123, 146 Soul, 53
Perspective of, 51 Spirit of bondage, 62 Spirit of fear, 63 Spiritual adventure, 91 Spiritual Attack
As the cause of spiritual problems, 70 Spiritual discernment, 133 Spiritual experiences, 120, 133, 135,
136, 137, 152 Spiritual eyes and ears, 58, 59 Spiritual focus, 49 Spiritual inflation, 62 Spiritual life, 15, 116, 135, 157, 165 Spiritual perception, 24, 25, 56, 58, 59,
145 Repression, 130 Responsibility, 104 Resurrection, 22, 33, 53, 81, 90, 97, 158 Reticular formation, 101, 102 Revelation, 8, 27, 58, 60, 75, 152 Revival, 35, 36, 37, 40, 93 Ripped off, 146 Rules and regulations, 62 Salesmen, 78 Scripture memory, 56 Secular approach, 7 Secular sources, 7
60, 75, 144 Deceptive spirits, 61 Dullness, 61 Spiritual bondage, 62 Spiritual inflation, 62 Spiritual timidity, 63 Spiritual perception
Errors in, 60 Spiritual responsiveness, 44
Spiritual sensitivity, 59, 60, 74 Spiritually blind, 59 Sterility, 72 Stress, 101 Stress breakdown, 101 Strong, 150 Strong emotion, 130 Suffering and discipline, 88 Supporters, 148 Symbols, 28 Temperament, 34 Terminating event, 82 Terrorist attacks, 140 Theatre, 95 Theophostics, 69, 159, 173 Thomas Huxley, 99
Thoughts and intentions of the heart, 76,
81, 88 Threat, 112 Tiger Woods, 119 Tradition, 92 Trauma
As causing spiritual problems, 68 Urgent and important, 103 Value, 12 Visions, 135 Vow, 76, 78, 82, 83, 85, 86 Weak, 151 Wesley, 32, 35, 91, 93, 174 Wisdom and knowledge, 4 World-view, 60, 76 Worship, 53, 54
Teachers Guide
The following suggestions are not meant to be prescriptive for the professional educator but are merely a few suggestions which are meant as a help to those of us who are not professional educators but have teaching responsibilities. Biblical EQ can be used as a text book on emotional development and I suggest the book be taught in 24 one hour lectures as follows – one hour introduction, six hours on the first six chapters in the theological section, ten hours on the five chapters in the ontological section and finally eight hours of lectures on the six chapters in the practical section (2 hrs each on the chapters on first and last chapters in the section.) However the book is taught I think 20 hours of lectures would be a minimum for most undergraduate students to grasp and digest the topic. For in-service courses and extension learning I would recommend pre-reading the book and discussing it chapter by chapter by teleconference or in email discussion groups. The book can be also easily be broken down into three one-day workshops, one for each section, and taught as an intensive over a long weekend. I also am preparing a one day seminar for church groups which just gives a very basic coverage of the topics in the book. Small group discussion in groups of three or four is absolutely essential for this sort of material. The aim of this book will be largely defeated if you teach it in a large classroom and use assignments and exams alone as the assessment tool. A bright student could go through such a course largely unchanged. Students should interact face to face about the issues and to stretch each other, as gently as possible, so that real change and real growth occurs. Considerable guidance and facilitation by the lecturer may be needed to ensure these discussion groups achieve their aims. The section on private and public emotion should perhaps be briefly reviewed in class at the commencement of the small groups as some vulnerable students may share too much emotionally while others share very little. I would encourage students to keep a personal journal of their reflections on the course (if this is considered an acceptable form of assessment) and encourage discussion of case studies that they meet in their ministry experience. The book raises many deep and provocative questions such as the mind-brain problem and the nature of the human spirit. If a class is prone to wandering off into less than edifying arguments over these issues they might be channeled into 15-minute formal class debates with a definite conclusion. These debates could be made part of the 'participation" mark that most lecturers give. While the book has an objective to achieve emotional transformation it also has an informational purpose and is content rich. Assessing understanding of the content and the grasp of the concepts involved is very important so I would encourage some academic form of assessment, such as a two hour exam at the end of the course worth around half the marks. If assignments are to be used instead of an exam I would suggest three separate assignments – one on each section as I think it would be very difficult to cover the course content with a single term paper. Even in the case of in-services and courses where formal assessment is not used the academic content still needs a little emphasis because it is the concepts that will stay with the learner, perhaps popping into relevance many years in the future. May the Lord lead you as you teach both the academic and experiential aspects of Biblical EQ.