Family Joys
FAMILY JOYS
To her sister, Sarah Nicholson Aet 32.
MILLVILLE, 1864.
It is so lovely to look at my baby 2 and think of the sweet story of redeeming love that as yet she knows nothing of, which I shall have to tell her.
I often whisper in her ear about the " beautiful secrets that mamma will have to tell her pet some day".
To her sister, Sarah Nicholson :
At. 33.
/ MILLVILLE, Mar. 1865
Is it not awful about President Lincoln? I actually shed tears, and feel a real weight on my heart.
Whitall and Frank spend long hours discussing what awful things they would do with the murderer if they caught him, and if they were not Christians.
But Bess, tenderhearted Bess, seems to think she would like to see him become a Christian.
1 Mary Whitall Smith, born 1864, at Millville, New Jersey.
Robert Pearsall Smith was appointed manager of the glass factories at Millville of Whitall, Tatum & Co., glass manufacturers, a firm founded by his father-in-law, John Whitall.
L.P.S.
The baby, Mary, subsequently married Frank Costelloe, and after his death, Mr. Bernard Berenson ; she died in Italy in 1944, having lived there safely through the German Occupation.
A RELIGIOUS
REBEL To her mother-in-law, Rachel Pearsall Smith Aet. 33.
MILLVILLE, March 17, 1865 I suppose you are plunged into sorrow on account of the terrible event that has come like a thunderbolt upon the nation.
I had no idea that I felt such a deep interest in our President, or that I should have been so full of grief at his death.
The future looks very dark as regards national affairs—it seems as if he must have been one of the few indispensable ones.
However, no doubtit has all been permitted for some wise purpose, and it must be a blessed rest to him.
To Mrs. Anna Shipley Aet. 34.
MILLVILLE, Feb. 5, 1866 It is just perfectly splendid to have two babies, and I only wish it was three.
Mary is developing so exactly as one's fondest hopes could desire that my heart almost trembles with the weight of happiness. Logan 1 and I had our first regular battle to-day, and he came off conqueror, though I don't think he knew it.
I whipped him until he was actually black and blue, and until I really could not whip him any more, and he never gave up one single inch.
However, I hope it was a lesson to him.
He is going to be another " Gorilla" over again for screaming.
* Logan Pearsall Smith, born Oct. 18, 1865.
L.P.S.
FAMILY JOYS
To Mrs. Anna Shipley Aet. 35.
MILLVILLE, Dec. 14, 1867 I want to know whether thy heart does not feel drawn to have another meeting, similar to the one we had last, for rousing up Christians to a sense of their needs and their privileges.
I confess that my soul is burdened on account of it, and if I could I would appoint a meeting in the Meeting House for the young,
_ where I might have an opportunity to speak as the Spirit should give me utterance.
I should not care if I did make a fool of myself, if only the souls of believers could be reached.
I do not understand why this burden! has been laid so upon me, who of all others am the least able apparently to do anything in the matter.
But I cannot get from under it, nor apparently, transfer it, and so I must simply wait on the Lord for a way to open for any work He may have for me to do.
Now do not let me burden thee.
If thy own heart does not freely respond to this, let it go and no doubt if the Lord has a message for me to deliver, He will give me an opportunity.
To her sister-in-law, Elizabeth Pearsall Smith Aet. 36.
MILLVILLE, Jan. 29, 1868 I am getting a black silk dress made for myself at Proctor's in Chestnut Street.
It is a very handsome silk father gave me, and I could not bear to have it ruined by a Millville dressmaker, so thought I would
1See Note I at end of Chapter.
A RELIGIOUS
REBEL see about having it made somewhere in town, and stopped in at P.'s to inquire. But they were so frenchy and so overwhelmingly polite that they completely took me by storm, and I found myself actually in their back room being measured for a dress before I had even so much as asked what they charged, or whether they could make a Quaker's dress.
I came to the conclusion I was entirely too green to go to such places.
To her mother, Mary Tatum Whitall Aet. 36.
MILLVILLE, Mar. 8, 1868 We begin to think we have discovered the secret of influence over Logan, though he is without exception the most perverse little mortal I ever encountered.
The things he loves and wants the most are generally the things he says "No, no" to most frequently and persistently, without the slightest provocation from anyone thereto.
It really seems as if the fellow was composed of two individuals, one bent on spiting the other to the utmost of its capacity; and the way in which he bites off his own nose from morning until night, in order to spite his face, is irresistibly comical.
I never saw anything like it in man, woman or child before.
His fondness for beautiful things is really something quite striking.
Nothing escapes his notice, the least little shred of bright coloured rag is carefully treasured, and bright leaves and flowers, and above all the bright sunset clouds seem to fill him with intense delight.
He said yesterday as he stood looking at the latter, "I wish they would come down here for me to see how
¥ FAMILY JOYS II pink they are and I want to show them to Jesus."
I should not be surprised to find him developing some artistic tastes sometime.
To her father, Fohn Mickle Whitall _ Aet. 36.
MILLVILLE, june 18, 1868 I had the funniest visit from the funniest Friend last week.
She is an Indian doctress and came to Millville to see a patient, and there heard of our Meeting, and came up full tilt to see me.
She greeted me with a hearty kiss, and expressed the greatest delight at the prospect of having a Meeting to go to, and actually proposed coming to spend 2 or 3 days in Millville to go around and try to induce people to attend the Meeting ; and seemed to think she could gather a large congregation.
But I must say I feel thankful she lives 14 miles off, and that the cars do not run on First Day, and that her old pony, who thought nothing of travelling 20 or 30 miles a day, is safely sleeping under the sod, with flowers planted all over his grave!
I don't think our feeble Meeting could possibly cope with Indian doctresses !
To her mother, Mary Whitall Aet. 36.
MILLVILLE, Nov. 22, 1868 I had such a curious visit the other day from an old broad-brimmed Friend, with his hair brushed straight
- down over his forehead.
He had seen my little tract n '" Early Friends", and had found out from Smith ?
A RELIGIOUS
REBEL & English the name of the writer, and had gone to 410 Race Street with the intention of finding my place
_ of residence.
Robert 1 brought him out to spend the night.
But lo! he was a Hicksite.2
However, I soon found out that he had a genuine experience in the life of faith, and had no other trust than in the atonement by the blood of Christ.
We rather expect " Little Rachel "' will be the first words Alys will say.
Either those, or else, "I love Jesus", words which Mary is continually singing, and which somehow Alys has caught the sound of.
The moment she can get any of us to lift her into a rockingchair, she begins to rock herself very vigorously and sing at the top of her voice what sounds just like it.
To her mother, Mary Whitall Aet. 36.
MILLVILLE, Nov. 29, 1868 I am quite amused often as I walk through the suite of rooms in which are deposited the various babies— in the first one Mary and Logan—in the next little
Miss Alys, who requires a room all to herself, and in the last madam Rachel— little beds— just think of it !
To Mrs. Anna Shipley Aet. 36.
_ MILLVILLE, Dec. 2, 1868 I believe God has made me a pioneer, so that I do not expect much sympathy or understanding as I go along ;
1 Her husband, Robert Pearsall Smith.
*See Note II at end of Chapter.
*In later years the voices of Mary (Mrs. Bernard Berenson as she became) and Alys (Mrs. Bertrand Russell) were tuned to other notes.
The fourth daughter (Rachel Pearsall Smith), born 1869, died in 1880.
L.P.S.
FAMILY JOYS )
and the breaking through of hedges, and fences, and stone walls is not a very pleasant path, I can assure thee.
But it is my nature, I cannot help it ;_ and so I suppose must bear patiently all that befalls me in consequence thereof.
I remember I was the first private individual in all my circle, who bought a sewing-machine, and I had to undergo absolute persecution because of it.
And this is but a type of my whole life.
So I suppose my Article will not be approved by any of you, and if I did not keep many of my sentiments to myself, I do expect you could hardly tolerate me.
To her mother, Mary Whitall Aet. 37.
| '
THE CEDARS,! Mar. 21, 1869 The fierce necessities of eating and washing clothes are like an inexorable fate ; there is no hope of evading them !—I have to tell myself over and over that it is the will of our Heavenly Father that these things should be, or I should be too much disheartened and disgusted at the fearful sensuality of it all, to give them proper and decent attention.
Especially eating— that does seem so utterly useless, and yet occupies the larger part of our lives.
I actually cannot enjoy my meals, my sense of the dreadful earthliness of it all is so great tome. I will not insist, however, that this would be the case if I had a nicely cooked fresh shad placed before me !
1The Cedars, Haddonfield, New Jersey, was the summer home of John M. Whitall (her father).
L.P.S.
A RELIGIOUS REBEL
To her mother, Mary Whitall Aet. 37. ; THE CEDARS, April 12, 1869 Alys is one of the irrepressibles, and no mistake.
I wish you could just hear her saying "' don't care "', and see the fling she gives her little head, and take in the full scope of the little tone of saucy independence in which she utters it!
It is too comical for anything, but rather fearfully suggestive.
Since having her to watch, I have come to the conclusion that some people are born outlaws by nature, and that I myself was one of these.
Dear little Logan continues to be my greatest puzzle.
He certainly was born to be an only child, for he is always happiest when he is playing alone, and if he can have undisputed sway in the nursery, and engross the undivided attention of his caretakers, he is as good as a boy can be. I find I can generally kiss him out of his naughty spells, sooner than I can end them in any other way, and I feel convinced there is a secret chord in his nature that has not yet been touched, but that will some day send out very sweet music.
To her son, Franklin Whitall Smith Aet. 39.
PHILADELPHIA, Mar. 12, 1871
If thee could just be in my shoes for one day, thee would not scold about my not writing !_ My very head
"seems ready to come off sometimes.
I have a Bible class every morning in the week except on 7th days, and every afternoon a perfect levee of visitors at home.
FAMILY JOYS
And then no end of things to do besides.
To-night I am expecting every minute Mrs. S. and Mrs. K. and Miss N. M. to tea, and then we are all to'go to S.
Shipley's to the Merrick Street meeting.
So do forgive thy poor mother, dear boy, and comfort thyself with thinking how popular she is!
Father said something about thy having a monkey ; but don't think of it.
It would plague thy very life out ofthee.
And they are dreadfully dirty creatures.
The biggest one has already bitten me badly twice; my hands are lame to-night from the effects of it. We have to keep them in a wooden cage, and it don't smell very good, and we can't half see them ; and they are a decided bother.
We have now in our menagerie —two doves, two parrots, two cats, two monkeys, and four children, and it makes a lively scene when they all express their feelings at once. © To Mrs. Anna Shipley Aet. 40.
THE CEDARS, Aug. 8, 1872 I want you to know how very ill Frank is.
The slightest improvement was proved to be deceptive, and he is lying now very ill,—alarmingly so, it seems to me—but I know very little of this disease.
His brain is the part most affected, and he is utterly prostrated. I live an hour at a time, and am kept free from all anxiety, trusting my darling boy to the Lord.
I would rather His will should be done than anything else.
A RELIGIOUS
REBEL To her mother, Mary Whitall Aet. 40.
THE CEDARS, Aug. 1872
It is an unspeakable mercy to be able to say from the bottom of my heart, " Thy will be done", and to feel in truth that I would rather God should have had
His own way with my boy, than anything else.
Much as I loved him, J never could have given him the peace, and rest, and joy he is in the midst of now.
I always cared more for his happiness than for my own, all his life long, and why should I not do so still.
Oh, our boy, our boy, how can we spare him ! 1
To Mrs. Anna Shipley Ale AS; THE CEDARS, July 25, 1873 The prospect is just lovely, and I am looking forward to at least three months of sweet quiet, with my baby on my lap, trotting away to the old old tune that has trotted all the others through their months of extremest helplessness and winsomeness.
I expect to receive all my friends, baby in lap, next winter, and to expound all my heresies over its poor little hapless head ; and,
* Frank, her eldest son, had died of typhoid at the age of eighteen.
During the next year, H.W.S. wrote his life, which was privately printed.
He is pictured improvingly as a religious character who was converted when he was four years old ; but she cannot help portraying at the same time a youth of more worldly gaiety and material charm.
This gay yet spiritual character revealed itself very early in his life.
When he was still a baby, his mother wrote " I was trying to make him understand about the angel in his heart .
. when he interrupted me by squeezing his little stomach very hard, and saying in all soberness,
*' There, Mama, didn't thee hear the good angel squeaking ? ' "'
Her life of him was afterwards published, and had a very considerable success, being translated into various foreign languages,
FAMILY joys :
who knows? it may possibly be "sound" from its earliest dawning intelligence ! !
The trouble is that no one can be induced to separate their will from their emotions practically, and consequently cannot believe the will is working at all, unless they feel the emotion working also.
Just the choice of the bare will alone does seem so dry and futile, and insignificant, especially when a vast crowd of blustering emotions oppose themselves to its action.
To Mrs. Lawrence Aet. 41.
THE CEDARS, Aug. 8, 1873 Life and its utter failure has pressed upon me of late with the most unspeakable sadness; and I have felt such an intense sympathy with the Lord Jesus in Mis sympathy with the sufferings of His poor fallen world, that I seem to have had an insight into His heart of love beyond anything I ever knew before.
It is the anniversary of my precious Frank's release to-day.
How glad I am for him!
And now his dear grandma too has ee her escape.
It seems to me if we rightly understood the value of things, we would weep at the entrance of a soul upon this weary exile, and rejoice over its escape.
And my poor little expected baby with all its life to live, its burdens to bear, its fearful risks to run, how sad for it!
How much more blessed to have got through and to be leaving it all behind!
The only thing that reconciles me to its birth is, that this life is the necessary passageway to the life beyond, and that to reach Heaven's rest, it must needs taste earth's weariness.
But from the bottom of my heart, I pity it.t 1 The expected child died at birth.
L.P.S.
A RELIGIOUS
REBEL To Mrs. Anna Shipley Aet. 41.
THE CEDARS, Aug. 14, 1873 I cannot help feeling a deep interest in dear Anna, and this is why I presume to offer my advice unasked.
Of course thee knows me well enough to know that when I give advice it is always with the understanding that I leave a perfect liberty for it to be rejected in toto, without my feeling badly.
But I do want you to weigh this matter carefully.
Girls have a right to a College education.
They ought to be made to get it, even if it had to be done at the point of the bayonet.
But since the world is not yet sufficiently advanced for that, the least parents can do is to open the door very wide to every girl who feels the least desire for it herself.
I regret my own loss in this respect every day of my life, and the world has cause to regret it too; for as I will be a rather public character, and will insist on undertaking to teach, it is a monstrous pity that I have this great lack of want of education.
You don't any of you know what I might have been, if I had had it; Ido!
So now I have said my say, and I hope to hear in a few days that Anna is going to Howland College, with a prospect of going to Vassar or Cornell or some other place afterwards, if she feels a call thereto.
To Mrs. Anna Shipley Aet 41.
THE CEDARS, Sept. 10, 1873 My summer [after the death of her baby] has been a sad one, and my lookout for the future is not very
FAMILY JOYS
bright.
And I feel as if I had begun to go down the hill of life, and had lost all the spring and freshness.
It seems to me just as though I had had my chance, and had failed, and it was all done now ; and nothing left for me but to try and help my children into a better and nobler pathway.
I wonder if that is not all we old people are meant for anyhow—just to help and guide, and guard the young?
It seems to me we are.such very poor concerns, that we had better step aside and let them try their hands at it.
It is painful with these aged feelings to be getting fat and young-looking, is it not?
But such is my fate. And I expect I don't really mean all this—only I feel so just now.
Iam in earnest, however, in having a profound reverence for the young, and an intense yearning to give them all the help I can.
> To her sister-in-law, Elizabeth Pearsall Smith Aet. 41.
Sept. 14, 1873 There is no earthly consideration, except being with Robert, that could make a residence in England, or even a visit there, the Jcast pleasant to me.1_
And to go with a family of little children, who would necessarily in a strange land absorb all of my time, is not a bright prospect in any aspect of it.
NOTE I (p. 9) The expression " burden" was often used by these Quakers with a kind of sanctified and accepted humbug.
H.W.S. illustrates this with an anecdote about a preaching uncle of hers.
This uncle spoke 1See Note III at end of Chapter.
A RELIGIOUS 'REBEL
/ to her brother about some holy engagements he had lately been carrying out.
"As they separated, he said in a very solemn and mournful tone, 'So thou wilt see, dear James, what a heavy cross has been laid upon me.' My brother expressed his sympathy, and they parted, going different ways.
But in a moment or two my uncle walked hastily back, and touching my brother on the arm said, 'I am afraid, dear
James, that I conveyed a false impression in what I said about my ministry being a cross.
Truth compels me to confess to thee that it is not a cross at all, but a very blessed and delightful privilege.
I am afraid we preachers talk as we do about the cross in preaching, more from habit than from any reality.''?
(The Unselfishness of God, p. 61.)
NOTE II (p. 12)
Logan Pearsall Smith, in his Unforgotten Years, mentions those highminded Quaker heretics, the Hicksites; their leader, Elias Hicks, eulogised by Walt Whitman, preached a religion less formal even than the informal religion of orthodox Quakers, between whom and the Hicksites there yawned, it appears, not only a theological but a social
\gulf as well.
"I remember," he writes, "climbing the wall that surrounded one of the Hicksite meeting-houses, and gazing in on those precincts with all the horror of one who gazes into Hell.
Never since have I looked upon any object with such feelings of abomination.
"* This theological horror," he goes on, " was accompanied, amongst the Orthodox at least, by an immense sense of social superiority : ours were the high places, we felt, in this world as well as the next
. and even now, when, as sometimes happens, I meet in London Philadelphians with the taint in their veins of Hicksite blood, I seem to know them at once, as by a kind of instinct, by a subtly mingled sense of theological and social repugnance, which I find it extremely difficult to overcome."
NOTE III (p. 19)
Just when H,.W.S. was beginning to feel that her life was practically over, she was on the threshold of its greatest adventure—her appearance and great success in England when her girlish daydreams of eminence as a preacher became an astonishing reality.
She and her husband during their absence from Philadelphia had learned from a little group of New Jersey Methodist working-people a life of faith and religious consecration, which they began to preach on their return to Philadelphia, and which caused great interest in Evangelical circles, not only in America but in England also.
In my Unforgotten Years I have related how my father had been invited to England in 1873 to expound this new Gospel, and in this year he sent for his wife to bring her children and join him there.
L.P.S.