Part 46
might have gone desperately into worse sin than before–had it not been that He filled your sack at seasons with the corn of Egypt. But mark, He has never taken any of your money yet, and He never will. He has always put your money in the sack's mouth–you have come with your resolutions, and with your good deeds–but when He has given you comfort He has always taken care to show you that He did not confer it because of any good thing you had in your hands.
When you went down and brought double money with you, yet the double money, too, was returned. He would have nothing from you. He has taught you as much as that and you begin to feel, now, that if He should bless you, it must be without money and without price. Yes, poor Soul, and there is one other point upon which your eyes may rest with pleasure. He has sometimes spoken to you comfortably. Did not Joseph say to Benjamin, "God be gracious unto you, my son"? And so, sometimes, under a consoling sermon, though as yet you are not saved, you have had a few drops of comfort.
Oh, you have gone sometimes out of the House of Prayer as light as the birds of the air, and though you could not say, "He is mine and I am His," yet you had a sort of inkling that the match would come off one day. He had said–"God be gracious to you, My son."
You half thought, though you could not speak it loud enough to let your heart distinctly hear it–you half thought that the day would come when your sins would be forgiven. When the prisoner should leap to lose his chains. When you should know Joseph, your brother, to have accepted and loved your soul. I say, then, Christ disguises Himself to poor awakened sinners just as Joseph did, but even amidst the sternness of His manner, for awhile there is such a sweet mixture of love, that no troubled one need run into despair.
But, dear Friends, I am met by a question. Some one asks, "Why does Jesus thus deal with some coming sinners? Why does He not always meet them at once as He does with some, while they are yet a great way off and fall upon their necks and kiss them?" Perhaps we can answer this question by another. Why did Joseph thus hide himself and not manifest himself to his own flesh? The answer is here–Joseph knew there was a prophecy to be fulfilled. The sun and moon and eleven stars must make obeisance to him, and their sheaves must bow down before his sheaf. So there is a prophecy concerning us–"That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in Heaven and things in earth and things under the earth."
And were it not that Christ does thus deal roughly with us, perhaps we should never bow ourselves with that deep humiliation and prostration of spirit which is necessary for our good as well for His glory. I am sure that any of us who have passed through this state of mind, feel it a privilege to bow down before Him. All hail, Jesus! We bring forth the royal diadem and crown You Lord of All.
We wish not to dispute Your sovereignty, nor to interfere with Your absolute dominion. Give Him all the glory! Give Him all the honor.
Our spirit bows down with even deeper reverence than the cherubim, who bow before Him with veiled faces, crying, "Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of Sabaoth."
Besides, my dear Friends, Joseph's brothers would not have been convinced of their sin at all, if it had not been for this. It was necessary that they should know the greatness of the wrong, that they might know the value of the free pardon. The delay of manifested mercy has done much good to many of the saints. It compelled them to search the fountains of the great deep of their natural depravity, and led them to admire the freeness and richness of Divine Grace. We should have been but poor fools in Christ's school if it had not been for the rod with which He whipped us, and the ruler with which He knocked our knuckles in our early days.
That black board of conviction was a useful implement enough in the school house. If He had not plowed deep, there never would have been a hundred-fold harvest. Since He would build a high house of joy in our hearts, there was a need that He should dig out deep foundations of sorrow–and He did it for our lasting and perpetual good. Could John Bunyan have ever written "Pilgrim's
Progress," if he had not felt abounding sin, and rejoiced in "Grace abounding"? Could he have ever compiled such a wondrous work as the "Holy War," if he had not himself felt all the attacks which the Town of Mansoul knew and heard the beating of the Hell drum in his own ears, just as the Mansoulians did, whose tale he tells?
Masters of Divinity are not to be made by shallow experience. We make not sailors on dry land, nor veterans in times of peace.
Christ's rugged warriors who shall do great exploits for Him, must be like the Spartan youths. They must be brought up by a Spartan training, and flogged, and made to bear the yoke in their youth, that afterwards they may be good soldiers of Christ, able to endure hardness and to achieve great victories. This that looks so cruel in Christ is only masked mercy. He puts the visor on His face and looks like an enemy, but a friendly heart is there still towards His chosen.
Let us remember, then, if we are today guilty and moaning our guiltiness–we ought not to forget that Christ is a Brother though He seems to be an enemy, that He loves us with a pure and perfect love though He speaks harshly to us. If He does not answer our prayers, He still intends to. If no pity or compassion are expressed, yet beyond a doubt He is not flinty of soul, nor is He hard to be moved to commiserate His children.
III. I now come to the last point, and here may God be pleased to let light break in upon darkened souls. JOSEPH AFTERWARDS
REVEALED HIMSELF TO HIS BROTHERS, AND SO THE
LORD JESUS DOES IN DUE TIME SWEETLY REVEAL
HIMSELF TO POOR CONSCIENCE-STRICKEN PENITENT
SINNERS.
The reading of the chapter which we heard this morning is enough to bring tears to all eyes that are connected with tender hearts. I must acknowledge that when reading the chapter in my own study, I could not resist weeping copiously at the picture which the Holy Spirit has so admirably drawn. Those ten, poor trembling brothers. Judah's speech just finished and all of them on their knees supplicating the clearing of the court house and then Joseph, whose soul was swelling with such grief and love, bursting out with that, "I am Joseph."
What a scene for tender souls! Though he must have spoken in deep affection, yet, "I am Joseph," must have fallen on their ears like thunder. "Joseph! Where are we now? Better for us that we were in a lion's den, than here with him whom we mocked, saying, 'Behold, this dreamer comes,' with him whom we sold and dipped his coat of many colors in blood. And then took it to his father, saying, 'See whether this is your son's coat or not.' " Well might they tremble!
And then look at the tenderness of Joseph when he says to them again, while they are retiring from him afraid, "I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into Egypt, I pray you come near to me."
You hear his pathetic speech as he discovers his brotherhood and relationship, and then you see that generous embrace when, beginning with Benjamin, his next of kin, his own uterine brother, he afterwards weeps with all the rest and sends them home with favors, enriched and happy.
Dear Friends, I say this is but a picture of what Christ does to some of us, and of what He is prepared to do to others of you who are trembling at His feet. Notice that this discovery was made secretly. Christ does not show Himself to sinners in a crowd. Every man must see the love of Christ for himself. We go to Hell in bundles, but we go to Heaven one by one. Each man must personally know in his own heart his own guilt–and privately and secretly, where no other heart can join with him–he must hear words of love from Christ. "Go and sin no more." "Your sins which are many are all forgiven you."
Mark, that as this was done in secret, the first thing Joseph showed them was his name. "I am Joseph." Blessed is that day to the sinner when Christ says to him, "I am Jesus, I am the Savior."
When the soul discerns instead of the Lawgiver, the Redeemer.
When it looks to the wounds which its own sin has made, and sees the ransom price flowing in drops of gore. When he looks to the head his own iniquity had crowned with thorns–and then he sees beaming there a crown of glory provided for the sinner! Sinner, poor troubled Sinner, Jesus speaks to you this morning, from His very Cross where He bled for You! He says, "I am Jesus, look to Me, trust Me and be saved, repose your confidence wholly upon Me. I will wash you from your sin, carry you safely through time and bring you gloriously in eternity."
Having revealed his name, the next thing he did was to reveal his relationship; "I am Joseph, your brother." Oh, blessed is that heart which sees Jesus to be its Brother, bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh, the son of Mary as well as the Son of God. Sinner, whom the Holy Spirit has awakened, Christ is your Brother! He feels for you, He has a fellow sympathy with you in the present pangs that wring your heart. He loves you, He loved you before you knew anything of Him. He has given you the best proof of that love in that He has redeemed you with His blood.
And revealing his relationship, Joseph also displays his affection.
"Does my father yet live?" As a brother does, he remember the head of the household. Jesus tells you that the brotherhood between His soul and yours is not fanciful or metaphorical, but lets His heart go out to you. Penitent Sinner, can you believe it? Jesus loves you– loves you though you hated Him. Poor awakened Sinner, you think it isn't possible? It is. It is not only possible, but certain. He who is Heaven's Lord, before whom the angels bow, loves YOU! I remember one man who was converted to God, who told me that the means of his conversion was hearing a hymn read one Sunday morning in the congregation, when we were worshipping in Exeter
Hall and that hymn was this–"Jesus, lover of my soul."
And just those words struck him. "Does He love my soul? Oh," said he, "nothing had ever broken me before. But the thought that Jesus loved me was too much for me. I could not help giving my heart to Him." The old school men used to teach that it was impossible for any man to know that another loved him without returning the love in some degree. And surely, Sinner, though you feel yourself to be the vilest wretch on earth, when we tell you that it is, "a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ
Jesus came into the world to save sinners, even the chief," this should be a reason why your heart should go out to Him. He loves you, oh quickened, convicted Sinner! Oh, trust Him, and taste that love in your own heart.
And then will you please notice, that having thus proved his affection, Joseph gave them an invitation to approach. "Come near to me, I pray you." You are getting away in the corner. You want to hide away in the chamber, alone. You do not want to tell anybody about your sorrow. Jesus says, "Come near to Me, I pray you. Do not hold your griefs away from Me. Tell Me what it is you want.
Confess to Me your guilt. Ask Me for pardon, if you want it. Come near to Me, do not be afraid. I could not smite with a hand that bought you. I could not spurn you with the foot that was nailed for you to the tree. Come to Me!"
Ah, this is the hardest work in the world, to get a sinner to come near to Christ. I thought myself that He was such a hard, hard
Christ, and that He wanted me to do so much before I might come to Him. When I heard that gracious message, "Look unto Me and be you saved, all you ends of the earth," my heart ventured to look and oh, joy of joys, the burden rolled away, the sin was blotted out, my soul stood accepted in Christ! "Come near to Me I pray you."
Oh that I knew where a broken heart was this morning! I think I would point him out and look him in the face and say in Jesus' name, "Poor sinner, come near to me, I pray you."
Oh, why do you stay when Jesus invites? Why do you tarry in your despair when Jesus bids you come to Him? Shall the prisoner hug his chains? Shall the captive cleave to his dungeon? Arise! Be free! Arise, He calls you! Sinner, come near to Jesus. Salvation is in Him, and, as He bids you, take it.
I want you to notice again, having given the invitation, what consolation Joseph gave! He did not say, "I am not angry with you.
I forgive you"– he said something sweeter than that–"Be not angry with yourselves," as much as to say, "As for me, you need not question about that–be not grieved nor angry with yourselves." So my blessed, my adorable Master, says to a poor, cast down, dejected sinner–"As for My forgiving you, that is done. My heart is made of tenderness, My heart melts with love. Forgive yourself. Be not grieved nor angry with yourself–it is true you have sinned, but I have died. It is true you have destroyed yourself, but I have saved you. Weep no more. Dry those eyes and sing aloud–
'I will praise You every day,
Now Your anger's turned away.
Comfortable thoughts arise
From the bleeding Sacrifice.
Jesus has become at length
My Salvation and my strength;
And His praises shall prolong,
While I live, my pleasant song.' "
Dear Friends, last of all, having thus given them the consolation, he gave a quietus for their understanding in an explanation. He says, "It was not you, it was God that sent me here." So does Christ say to the poor soul that feels itself guilty of the Lord's crucifixion.
"It was not you," says He," it was God that sent Me to preserve your lives with a great deliverance. Man was the second agent in Christ's death, but God was the great first Worker, for He was delivered by the determinate counsel and foreknowledge of God.
Man did it to destroy righteousness, but God did it to save even the ungodly.
Man has the crime but God has the triumph. Man rules, but God overrules. The gall has become honey, out of the eater has come forth sweetness. Death is destroyed by Jesus' death. Hell upturned by Hell's blackest deed. Sinner, Christ died to save you with a great deliverance, what do you say? Are you willing to come to Him? If so, He made you willing. Do you say, "But what is to come?"–to come to Christ is to trust Him. Are you willing to renounce yourself and your sin and trust Christ, and take Him to have and to hold, for better, for worse, through life and through death, in time and in eternity?
Does your heart say, "Yes"? Will you come to this Man? Shall there be a match made of it this morning? Shall your heart be affianced and married to Christ? Ah, then, put this ring of promise on your finger and go away affianced unto Christ and this is the ring, "Though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as wool, though they are red like crimson they shall be whiter than snow." I feel this morning as though my Master had given me such a sweet message that I cannot tell it as I would, but it may be that there is some soul here that is like a little flower which has opened its cup to catch the dew drop and it will be good for such a soul.
It may be there is a heart here that has been in darkness, and though it is but a candle I can bring, yet that light shall be pleasant to its poor eyes so long used to this horrid gloom. Oh, that some heart here would trust the Lord Jesus. Is there none? Must we go back and say in the closet, "Lord, who has believed our report, and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?" Surely, there is one.
Perhaps it is a stranger here, of whom I shall never hear again in this world. Well, but the Lord shall hear of it, and He shall have the praise.
Perhaps it is one that has long sat in this House of Prayer, invulnerable up till now. Perhaps the arrow has found a joint in the harness. O Soul! By Him that stretches out His arms of love to you and by the Divine Grace that moves you now to run into those arms, come to Him! "Be not grieved nor angry with yourselves." It was God that put Christ to death, that He might save you with a great deliverance. Trust Jesus and you are saved, and you shall give
Him praise, world without end. Amen.
Ge 45:28 • Jacob and Doubting Souls — A Parallel
ERMON 2470
Jacob And Doubting Souls A Parallel
"And Israel said, It is enough; Joseph my son is still alive: I will go and see him before I die."
Genesis 45:28
I THINK that the Patriarch Jacob may well serve as the type and emblem of a doubting soul, one who has been told the good news of salvation, the Gospel of God's Grace, but who cannot bring his mind to believe it.
Let us think for a few minutes of old Jacob. First of all, he was a man who was very ready to believe evil tidings. When his sons held up before him a coat dipped in the blood of a kid and asked him if it was not the coat he had given to Joseph, the Patriarch answered, "It is my son's coat; an evil beast has devoured him.
Joseph is, without doubt, torn in pieces." He had no doubt about it, yet it was not true. And we have many hearers who will believe anything that is terrible, even though it may not be true. If there is something in the sermon which seems to condemn them, even though it may not be meant to condemn them, they are sure to take home that part of the discourse. If they see any passage of Scripture that appears to frown upon them, they retain that in their memory and they keep on stinging themselves with it, often making themselves unhappy with that which was never intended to apply to them! I wish that readiness to believe the dark sayings could be turned to an equal readiness to receive the consolations of the Word of God. Surely, we ought not to be so prejudiced against ourselves as to accept every evil thing and to reject every good thing. No, let us weigh fairly the evidence for either form of teaching and believe, or reject either according as the evidence, for it may be strong or weak. Jacob would, all the while, have willingly believed that which was good, if he could have believed it. If you couldhave asked him if he had any objection to believe that Joseph was alive, the old man would have answered, "Oh, no! It would be the joy of my heart if I could but think it to be true." There are some whom I am now addressing who are in a similar case. Ask them whether they have any objection to believe that Jesus Christ is their Savior, that He loved them and gave Himself for them, and they would, each one, reply, "Object to believe this? Why, I would give my eyes–I would give my life–if I could but think it to be true!" Such an unbeliever as that is a very hopeful one because it is evident that he is not a willful unbeliever–he does not desire to be so. His heart longs to grasp the Truth of God which, for the moment, his mind dares not accept! Jacob, in this respect, is the type of very many who hear the Gospel, but dare not receive it and yet oh, how they wish they could! Their very soul hungers and thirsts after it, but they are afraid to take it lest they should be taking that which is not truly theirs.
So far, the parallel between Jacob and the doubting soul runs very properly. Next notice that to the Patriarch, the truth about his son
Joseph seemed altogether incredible. Joseph was alive and governor over all the land of Egypt–but the old man had so long believed the contrary that he could not readily get out of the rut! He had sorrowfully said, "Joseph is, without doubt, torn in pieces," and this idea, though it was most painful to him, had, nevertheless, eaten its way into his belief and he could not get it out of him. So do I know some who have written bitter things against themselves–"I shall be lost, I know I shall. It is not possible that Christ will save me. He will certainly reject me." And, although that is quite untrue–as untrue as Jacob's belief that Joseph was dead–yet they have hugged their despair so long that they cannot give it up! They are like the man who refused to be comforted, or those afflicted ones of whom we read, "Their soul abhors all manner of meat and they draw near to the gates of death." Oh, that the Holy Spirit would come upon these poor unwilling doubters and help them to know that a lie, however long it is believed, is not the truth! Though we may be in despondency of spirit for years, yet, if there is no real cause for that despondency, it is a pity that we should continue in it. Oh, that the Holy Spirit would enable us to break those bands asunder and joyfully to believe what is true– that there is a Savior, an all-sufficient Savior, that all power is committed into His hands–and that He will rejoice this very hour to save and bless our souls!
The news appeared incredible to Jacob because it seemed "too good to be true." His eyes flashed for the moment with a joyful light. "Joseph alive? Joseph–my Joseph–ruler over all the land of Egypt?" And then the very brightness of the thought seemed to blind the eyes of his faith. "It cannot be true," he said–"it is too good to be true." Suppose that one of you had lost a son many years ago and that a person met you outside the Tabernacle and said to you, "That boy of yours who was reported dead 20 years ago, is not dead! He is in Australia, alive and well"? You would be staggered, would you not? And I have no doubt you would say to yourself, "It must be somebody like him, or somebody else of the same name–it cannot be my son–it is impossible! I know that he is dead." You would hardly believe it! Therefore, do not blame poor old Jacob for his doubts!
There are many who are, spiritually, in just that state. They say, "What? You say that Jesus died for me, that I have been redeemed with His most precious blood, that I can have my sins forgiven? It cannot be! What? That I can be taken up to dwell with Christ in Heaven? Oh, that it were true! It cannot be true. I did sing, just now–
'Even me, even me,
Let Your mercy light on me.'
but oh, surely, it cannot come to me! I must be left out. When the showers of blessing are falling, I cannot hope that there will be even a drop for me." Well, then, you and old Jacob are very much alike! I think you must be first cousins! Yet Jacob was wrong and so are you–the news is not "too good to be true."
Through not believing his sons, Jacob began to faint in spirit.
When they told him that Joseph was yet alive, we read that "Jacob's heart fainted, for he believed them not." There is nothing that so stops the action of the heart and brings on faintness of the spirit as unbelief! As soon as the old man began to believe the good tidings that his sons brought, "the spirit of Jacob, their father, revived." Faith makes our spirits revive, but unbelief seems to strike us dead. I do not wonder that some of you are sad, dull and unhappy–as long as you cherish your unbelief, you must be so. O
Holy Spirit, deliver them from this unbelief! Revive them by enabling them to believe what is true–there is a Savior, a Savior yet alive, a Savior who is Lord of All–able and willing to save them!
There, then, is the parallel between Jacob and a doubting soul.
But, at last, Jacob rose out of his despondency and doubt.
According to our text, "Israel said, It is enough; Joseph my son is still alive: I will go and see him before I die." I think the time has come for some others to say, "It is enough." After having been attendants on the means of Grace, perhaps for 30 years or more, they ought to be able to say, "It is enough." There came in here, last
Lord's Day, from a distant part of the country, an aged man, a farmer. He came up on Saturday for no other reason but to find the Savior. He heard me say that I would see enquirers on Tuesday, so he was here then. He said, "I left my farm, though it is a large one," and then he told me something about himself, and he added, "I want to find the Savior. I thought, Sir, I would come and see if I could find Christ on the Sabbath day and I waited on that I might go to the Prayer Meeting on Monday night, and then come and speak to you about my soul."
I thought, "Yes, and it is worthwhile to leave your farm to find a Savior. It is worthwhile to come from a distant county of England– it would be worthwhile to come from the ends of the earth if one might but find the Savior." Before I left him, I think he could say, "It is enough. Jesus is still alive and I will trust Him even now"– and he went on his way rejoicing! Oh, that some others might be able to say with him, "It is enough!"
There are two points upon which I think Jacob could say, "It is enough." First, the evidence was enough to convince him–"It is enough; Joseph my son is still alive." Secondly, the conviction was enough to move him–"I will go and see him before I die." The second point is quite as important as the first. Indeed, it is that to which the first ought to practically lead us.
The first point is that Jacob had ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO CONVINCE HIM–"It is enough; Joseph my son is still alive."
The question for us to consider concerns not Joseph, but Jesus.
He is still alive. He died upon the Cross, but He has risen from the dead and gone into Glory–"therefore He is able also to save them to the uttermost that come to God by Him, seeing He ever lives to make intercession for them."
The evidence that good old Jacob had received was personal testimony. His sons said concerning Joseph, "We have been to Egypt and we have seen him." There have been many witnesses to testify that Christ is still alive. Not only did the 11 Apostles see
Him many times, but over 500 brethren at once saw the Son of God after He had risen from the dead. There is no fact in history that is better attested than the fact that He was crucified and that He rose again. The Resurrection is as true after nearly 1,900 years as it was the day it happened! The distance of time does not alter the fact!
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, died on Calvary and was buried in the tomb of Joseph of Arimathaea. The third day He rose from the dead, no more to die, and ascended into Heaven, where He sits at the right hand of God. To this fact, His disciples bore unfaltering witness–they were honest, simple-minded men, without enough imagination to make up the story. They were so sure of this Truth that they died rather than deny it–most of them died by the most painful forms of death–yet nothing could ever make one of them speak a word to the contrary! They declared that they had seen
Him, that they had eaten with Him–some of them could say that they had touched Him and one had put His finger into the print of the nails. Yes, Brothers and Sisters, Jesus Christ is still alive and I pray that each one here may say, "The testimony of these many witnesses is true, I believe it. It is enough; Jesus is still alive."
Moreover, the Holy Spirit bore witness to this fact, for after the ascension of the Savior, the Holy Spirit descended upon the Apostles and their companions and they began to speak with other tongues. They went into all the countries of the world and wherever they went, they were able to speak the language without having to learn it. At the same time, the Holy Spirit enabled them to work miracles by which the sick were healed–and these two things, together, were the witness of the Holy Spirit that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, still lived and that in His name salvation was to be preached to the sons of men! To me, this is evidence enough–the witness of faithful men and the works of the Holy Spirit.
Beside that, there are many of us who are witnesses that, in answer to prayer, we have received pardon through the living
Christ. We have also received, through that living Christ, a new life into our soul. We have passed from death to life and those who knew us before our conversion must notice a very remarkable change in us. They may not all admire it, but they must all admit it and bear witness that we are now other than we used to be! The Lord Jesus, in whom we have trusted, has given us new motives, new desires–in fact, a new nature and a new life–and we are witnesses to this Truth of God that He is a living Savior, still mighty to save! I wish you could all say, with regard to these witnesses, "It is enough." I do not know what more witnesses we can give you and I may say of the Apostles, and of all those who bear witness by the Holy Spirit, "If you receive not their witness, neither will you believe though men should rise from the dead and bear testimony to the fact that Jesus lives to save the sons of men."
But then Jacob had, in addition to this personal testimony of witnesses, the testimony of accurate reports, for we find that Jacob's sons told their father, "all the words of Joseph, which he had said to them." Those words of Joseph were remarkable words, for he traced God's Providence in all that had happened. He said to his brothers, "God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me here, but God, and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt." Jacob knew that those words were after the manner of Joseph, for Joseph always lived in the fear and love of God. As for our Lord Jesus Christ, He has come to teach us of the Father. He reveals God to us–that which He speaks to us, He speaks not of Himself, but in the power and in the name of God– and we know that His word is true because it is a word which glorifies God and not man!
Joseph also spoke somewhat about his own position and power.
"Tell my father," he said, "thus says your son, Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt." So, the Lord Jesus Christ has told us that all power is given to Him in Heaven and on earth and, therefore, we are to go and teach all nations and bring them as disciples to His feet. The words He speaks concerning Himself are not boastful or false–they are the utterance of a humble, meek and lowly Savior who never said a word more or less than the truth!
Joseph had also spoken to them very tenderly and kindly about their father. He would do everything for his father and his brothers, giving them the best of the land. And our Lord Jesus has spoken very tenderly to us. "Come to Me," He says, "all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." The words of the Lord
Jesus Christ, if you hear them or read them, are their own witness!
There is a certain distinct unique majesty about the language of Jesus Christ which somehow penetrates to the hearts of men and carries its own convincing witness into the mind. I pray you, then– you who have for years heard His words–say, "It is enough. We have heard quite sufficient from Him to compel us to believe that He lives and that He is able to save." How long must He continue to speak to you who are now getting old hearers of the Gospel and yet have not believed it? How much longer must we persuade, entreat, exhort in the name of the Lord Jesus? How much longer must His Words be read and quoted in your hearing? May God the Holy Spirit speedily end your indecision and bring you, each one, to say, "It is enough; Jesus is alive, there is a living Savior, I will take Him to be my Savior!"
There were also abundant tokens which greatly helped to convince old Jacob–"When he saw the wagons which Joseph had sent to carry him," he said, "It is enough." To what shall I liken these wagons? It seems to me that some of you who are doubting whether Christ will save you ought to think to yourselves, "Well, there is the Sabbath, which is a special token of God's love." As I came here this evening, I thought to myself, "Why has God appointed a Sabbath day if He does not mean to give rest to men?"
What a mockery it is to have one day in seven set apart for you to think of God if God does not mean to think of you! The very institution of the Sabbath seems to me to be a "wagon" in which to bring you to Christ. And why does God send ministers to preach
His Gospel? I said to myself, as I came here this evening, "I am going on the silliest errand that ever moved the foot of man unless
God means to save men by the message He has given me to deliver." What is the use of my talking, and talking, and talking, unless there is a living Christ and unless that living Christ is really able to save? He has sent you a minister who, with all his faults, loves your souls and who would do anything within the compass of a human mind to bring you to Christ if he only knew how to do it!
Surely God did not send us to speak in His name and move us to an agony about your souls if He did not mean to bless you! So, the Christian ministry, itself, is like a "wagon" in which to bring men to Christ.
I have often thought to myself, when I have been going home after preaching, "I have put the Truth of God before my hearers so plainly that if they want to be saved, I have clearly shown them the way to Christ." I used to attend the means of Grace very, very often when I was under concern of soul, and to the best of my knowledge and belief I never heard the Gospel simply and plainly put to me while I was listening for it. This is the pity, that so often our Brothers preach very fine sermons, but they are no good to seeking souls and they do not lead them to Christ. But as soon as I heard that poor Primitive Methodist preach Christ–and he preached
Christ, alone, because he did not know anything else and I, myself, am very much in that condition–why, as soon as ever I heard that, I laid hold of it! When fish are hungry, they bite at the bait, and if you really want Christ, you will at once lay hold of Him! If you do not accept Him, at any rate He has been plainly set before you. And if you refuse Him, you shall deliberately and willfully reject and refuse Him. I pray that you may not do that.
O Sinner, play not the fool with your own soul! If you must play, go home to your children, pick up their toys, throw their balls and twist their skipping-ropes, but trifle not with your souls, and with God, and Heaven and Hell! If I have lied to you about these matters, condemn me, for I deserve it. But if I have spoken the truth to you, hear me, or if you do not hear me, hear the still small voice of your own conscience, or rather, hear the voice of God which has been speaking through me! Believe in Jesus, now that you are under the influence of a ministry which may be to you what Joseph's wagons were to old Jacob!
Think also, why is it that you are instructed in the Truths revealed in the Word of God? Why is it that there are so many expostulations and warnings in it? Why is it that this precious Book is put into all your homes? Why is it so full of invitations and promises but that all this is intended to be a "wagon" to bring you to your Joseph, even to Jesus? When you see God, as it were, moving Heaven and earth to help you to salvation, bending
Providence in the direction of aiding you to hear and to believe the Gospel, surely you ought to say, "It is enough; Jesus is still alive; God means mercy for me; Christ Jesus can save me and He will save me."–
"Jesus sits on Zion's hill,
And receives poor sinners still."
The evidence brought before Jacob was sufficient to convince him. He said, "It is enough." Oh, that you, also, maysay the same concerning the evidence brought before you!
II. But now comes the tug of war–THE CONVICTION WAS ENOUGH TO MOVE HIM. "Israel said, It is enough; Joseph my son is still alive; I will go and see him before I die."
Oh, how many people there are in the world who say, "Yes, there is a Savior," and yet they are not saved! Some of you have often sung–
"There is a fountain filled with blood,
Drawn from Immanuel's veins
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains."
Is it so? Do you believe that? Then, why have not you lost all your guilty stains? "He that believes on the Son has everlasting life." You never doubted the truth of that text and yet you have not believed on the only-begotten Son of God and you have not received everlasting life! I can understand those who reject the Scriptures, altogether, and who deny that there is any Savior for sinners. I see where they are and feel that there is some kind of consistency in their conduct, deeply as I grieve over it, but I cannot understand what you mean when you admit the truth of what we preach, yet do not practically obey it! If the Gospel is true, why do you not believe it? If you believe it, why do you not act upon it? It is not sufficient to merely say that you trust Christ for salvation and then to fancy there is nothing further to be done.
I have often tried to expose that delusion by representing a pilot as being brought on board a vessel and the captain and sailors saying that they all had confidence in him–that he would take the ship safely into the haven. They said they trusted him but, having declared their faith in him, they all went below and lay down to sleep. Now, of course, the pilot needed to have the sails attended to and the ship put in good trim! And he needed the helmsman to manage the rudder, so he called out, "What are you all doing down there? Why have you all run away from me?" And one of them answered, "Because we trust in you! You are the pilot and you said you would bring us safely into port. We trust in you, so the captain has gone to his cabin and all the sailors have gone to their berths.
You see, it is a wet night, a strong northwester is blowing, it is very cold and we would rather be comfortable and snug in our berths than up there on deck. You said that you would bring us to the haven and we trust in you to do it." The pilot would, of course, reply, "You do not really trust in me, for if you did, you would do as I bid you! You are mocking me, you are insulting me. You have brought me on board your ship to make a fool of me! If you really trusted me, every man would take his proper place and do his duty, and then, as I gave the word of command, it would be obeyed, and so you would be brought safely into port."
It is just so with Christ and ourselves. We trust Him entirely to save us, but we have no right to say that we are saved if we do not practically obey Him. It is beyond all excuse that men should know that they need a Savior and that there is a Savior–and yet that they should not trust that Savior! It is as if Jacob had said, "Joseph is still alive, but I shall not trouble my head about him." Oh, no, no, no! The Patriarch does not talk like that, but he says, "Joseph is still alive; I will go and see him before I die." And, straightway, the poor old man and his household started to go down into Egypt–for the very next verse reads, "And Israel took his journey with all that he had."
One reason why Jacob wanted to go to Egypt was because he wished to see his son. Some of us know the delight of seeing, again, a dear son who has been absent from us for years, and of seeing him return. It is not so much a matter for us to talk about–it is rather a thing for our own hearts to rejoice over and to remember! And we often breathe the prayer, "God grant that we may see our beloved son again!" Yet, after all, to see a son is but the gratification of a natural affection–there is a great deal more reason why we should, by faith, see our Savior, for he who truly sees the Son of God shall live forever! O dear Hearts– "There is life for a look at the Crucified One!"
A faith-look to God in human flesh, a believing sight of Him who bore our sins in His own body on the tree will bring you life forevermore! I think that every sinner who knows that there is a living Christ ought to say, "I will go and see Him, whatever else I do not go to see." There are some sights in the world of which we say, "I should like to go and see that." Well, you may forego all the things of beauty that ever charmed the eyes of men, but, I charge you, do not forego this sight of the Lord Jesus Christ! He is the Heaven of angels! He is the delight of God, Himself! There is no true life for you other than that which will come through your looking to Him who says, "Look to Me, and be you saved, all you ends of the earth." Since you believe that there is a Savior, I pray that you may be moved at once to say, "I will go and see Him."
May you be preserved from putting it off even till the daylight breaks again! This very hour, through your tears, look straight away to the Cross and may the Lord Jesus Christ reveal Himself to you, that in His light you may see the Light of God!
Further, this old man, who said, "I will go and see my son," yet felt that it was but for a little while. He says, "I will go and see him before I die." He had 17 more years to live, but he did not know that. He felt so old a man at 130 that he though it is only with my dying eyes. I will die with the sight of Joseph before me and that will be enough to make me happy." And, dear Souls, if you did but get to Jesus, you might be happy if you could only say, "Lord, now let Your servant depart in peace, for my eyes have seen Your salvation." But it need not be death to you any more than it was to Jacob! Indeed, when you have seen Him, you shall live and never die! But your eyes shall be opened to see yet more and more of Him and the light of Christ shall so shine into your soul that you shall behold Him after a still more glorious fashion till He shall be the joy of your heart and the Heaven of your soul forever!
Therefore, since there is such a living Savior, go to Him, I pray you, and you shall not merely see Him for a little while and then die, but you shall see Him and live forever! Therefore hasten by faith to see Him this very moment!
Old Jacob also felt that age should not hinder, but rather speed him. He believed that he was soon going to die, but he said, "I will go and see him before I die." I think that Jacob's age really made him go more quickly. "Ah," he said to himself, "I shall soon be dead, therefore let me hasten down to Joseph, that I may see him before I die." So, dear Friends, do not let anyone say, "I am too old to be saved." Who is too old to trust Christ? Who is too old to seek and find the Savior? I have often heard stories told about people not being converted until after they are 55 or thereabouts–but that is all untrue and I do not believe a word of it! I have seen just as many people in proportion converted at one age as at another.
There are more young people in the world than there are aged persons and, therefore, there are more people converted, by God's
Grace, while they are young. There are fewer old people than young ones, but I thank God that even in this building, I could point out a great many who I know who were baptized after their hair had grown gray! Some of them put their trust in Jesus when they were 70 years old and others even later than that!
There was a dear old Brother who came in here when he was past
80 years of age–and he found the Savior! He was such a Little-
Faith, or Feeble-Mind, that he hardly dared to speak to any of us as he came in and out among us. But at last he said to himself, "I must join the Church." I fancy that he was 88 when he was baptized and he was so happy with us for about six months, but then he gently slipped away and went Home. I am sure I never saw a more childlike person, or a more genuine conversion than that of this dear old man! However old you are, Friend, come along! If Methuselah were here, I would preach to him the same Gospel that I would teach to one of these dear girls, for, however old a sinner is, there is nothing in the Gospel about limiting it to persons of a certain age. "Go you into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature" does not mean, go and begin picking out the creatures, and saying, "I only preach the Gospel to people who are under a specified age." Go home, and go to bed, Sir, if that is how you talk! Christ never sent you on such an errand as that! He sent us to preach the Gospel to every creature and to you who are almost worn out, if there is but life in you, I cry, "Come along, trust in Jesus, and He will save even you!"–
"While the lamp holds out to burn,
The vilest sinner may return" and, returning, he shall find Christ! Be quick about it, however, you who are getting on in life, you who are far advanced in years, and may God bless you!
Yesterday I had many kind letters congratulating me on completing my 52 nd year, but there was one that did a littlesurprise and amuse me. One Brother writes that he has read my sermons for many years and that, at my advanced age, he cannot pray that I may have many returns of the day–but he does trust that God may spare me at least two or three years longer for the good of the Church! Well, as I read the letter, I could not help smiling, as you do, for I do not feel that I am quite as advanced in age as that. But still, I thought that, perhaps, this Brother's letter might be prophetic. We may be older than we think we are–and two or three years may be all the time we are to have here. [Brother
Spurgeon went Home less than six years later.] At any rate, I will try to work for Christ as earnestly as if I had only two or three years to live, and then it may be that He will add to us yet more, but, if not, what does it matter? We shall go Home to Him who sent us and be gathered to our Father in peace.
Once more, old Jacob was not kept back from going to see his son because it was a long journey into Egypt. Journeys appear longer to old men than they do to young folk and it was a very great undertaking to go so far with those 70 and more people around him. There would be a deal of packing up to be done and there were no moving vans in those days to carry everything for the whole company. It was the transplanting of a grand old tree and it was a difficult task, to move so venerable an oak, with such widespreading roots and branches! Yet Jacob said, "I will go and see
Joseph before I die." Now, dear Friend, if it does seem a long way to Jesus, yet undertake the journey! And if you can persuade your wife and all your children to go, so much the better. Christ will receive them all in Goshen and they shall dwell with Him forever! I wish that there might be a blessed migration of many who have been rooted to the soil of the old Canaan, the sinful place, who will now go, not down to Egypt, but up to Jesus in the land of plenty and of purity, to dwell with Him forever! That which ruins so many is that hesitancy, that delaying, that halting between two opinions which I find, in the original, is hopping upon two twigs and never resting upon either! Let not that be the case with you.
Procrastination is the devil's net in which myriads are entangled to their utter destruction–may the Lord deliver any of you who have been caught in it!
Decide for Christ now, I beseech you! May the Holy Spirit constrain you to decide at once, for Christ's sake! Amen. HYMNS
FROM "OUR OWN HYMN BOOK"–241, 508, 607.
Ge 46:1-4 • The Unchanging God Cheering Jacob in His Change of Dwelling Place
ERMON 2116
The Unchanging God Cheering Jacob In His Change Of
Dwelling Place
"And Israel took his journey with all that he had and came to Beersheba, and offered sacrifices unto the God of his father Isaac.
And God spoke unto Israel in the visions of the night and said, Jacob, Jacob. And he said, Here am I. And He said, I am God, the God of your father: fear not to go down into Egypt. For I will there make of you a great nation: I will go down with you into Egypt.
And I will also surely bring you up again: and Joseph shall put his hand upon your eyes."
Genesis 46:1-4
NOTICE in this passage the two names which are mentioned.
"Israel took his journey and God spoke unto Israel in the visions of the night and said, Jacob, Jacob." "Jacob" was the name of his weakness–"Israel" was the title of his strength. "Jacob" was the name of his birth-nature–"Israel" was the name of his new and spiritual nature.
When Israel set out to go down into Egypt and see his son Joseph, he started in great vigor and strength for an old man–faith made him full of force. Therefore we read, "Israel took his journey." I see the old man revived and stirred up to a high degree of hopeful energy. He traveled some few miles on the first day and reached the well of Beersheba. It was the border town, where stood the well of the oak–after passing Beersheba he would be out of the land of promise and on his way to Egypt.
And at the remembrance of this fact, the old trembling came over him and he became Jacob, as at some prior time. When he was to take the decisive step to leave Canaan and make his journey into Egypt, then he suddenly felt himself a Jacob and began to halt upon his thigh. And the Lord in the visions of the night addressed him by the name which was most suitable to his condition, saying to him, "Jacob, Jacob." He did not call him "Israel." He came to him in his infirmity and trial and suited His speech to his condition. The Lord met the weakness of His servant's faith, and sent him consolations fitted rather for Jacob than for Israel.
Dear Friends, I am afraid that the lives of many of the Lord's chosen people alternate between "Israel" and "Jacob." Sometimes we are "strong in the Lord and in the power of His might," and at another time we cry, "Who is sufficient for these things?" Like princes we prevail with God and are true Israels. But perhaps before the sun has gone down we limp with Jacob and though the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak. We are Jacob before we are Israel. And we are Jacob when we are Israel.
But blessed be God, we are Israels with God when we cease to be Jacobs among men. The Lord has chosen Jacob and redeemed
Jacob and preserved Jacob. But His great aim is to make the Israel in him the dominant character. He shall be far more a prince with God than a supplanter among men.
Turning to the text, we have a lesson to learn from it. We find that Jacob, on his way down to Egypt, came to Beersheba, the border place, and this marked a distinct stage in his journey. He came to Beersheba, the place of many memories, where God had spoken to his father Abraham by the well. This was the place, I suppose, where Abraham was when the Lord said to him, "Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and offer him for a burnt offering." It was, therefore, a memorable spot in the history of his family, and it was just then a turning point in his own career. And therefore it called for special waiting upon the Lord.
He was to break new ground and enter upon a way which he had not trod up to now. And so we read that he offered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac. Herein is wisdom. In commencing a new era, let there be new devotion. It is well to begin everything with God, who is the Beginner of all things. When young people begin housekeeping they should consecrate an altar as soon as ever they have set up a tent. When you begin business, this thought should be upon you–"Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it."
Therefore, wait upon Him for guidance and help. In starting upon every journey, whether long or short, and entering upon every day, however commonplace the day may be, it is always well to begin it with God. Remember the old and gracious Proverb, that "prayer and provender hinder no man's journey." The offering of sacrifices unto God did not hinder Jacob's journey–on the contrary, it was the making of him as a traveler. For now he began his journey outside of Canaan under the special convoy of the Lord, his God. Now the angels of God took up their places around the wayfarers and day and night they led the van and brought up the rear of the patriarchal caravan.
I suppose that Jacob, on this occasion, offered sacrifice for three reasons, at least. One was to purge his household of any sin that might lie upon it. He had a very strange family, this man Jacob. It was badly begun at the outset, of four mothers–and jealousies were sure to abound. Taking them all round, his many sons were a very sad lot to be the sons of such a man. His own account of them on his deathbed is most painful. Much sin, even of the blackest dye, had defiled that chosen family.
The stories of Reuben, Levi, Simeon, Judah, and others, are very dark. The aged head of the clan seems to say, with broken-hearted penitence, "Before we go down into this Egypt, let us offer sacrifice whereby our grievous sins may be put away, lest we provoke the Lord on the road." It reminds us of father Job, when, after his children had fulfilled their days of feasting, he called them together and offered sacrifice, lest they might have sinned in their hearts and cursed God foolishly.
How often have we cause to suspect some secret backsliding, some careless omission, some transgression unperceived! It is well to go again to the cleansing fountain for fresh washing, to fly anew to the great sacrifice of Christ and renew our acquaintance with its cleansing power. O Lord, purify our households at this hour! Let our families and our Churches know anew the expiation for sin by which the conscience is purged from dead works, to serve the living and true God.
Do you not think that Jacob also offered this sacrifice for another reason? Did he not present it by way of thanksgiving? He is going down into Egypt–but it is to see Joseph–what a joy this meant!
Joseph is yet alive. He is going to look him in the face. Benjamin, of whom the old man had said, "Joseph is not, and Simeon is not, and you will take Benjamin away"–Benjamin had come back safe and sound–this was no mean favor. Whereas he had said, "All these things are against me," now he perceives that all these things are for him.
And so he offers sacrifice unto the Lord. Let us magnify the Lord whenever we are led to see the extraordinary light of His goodness in those places which looked unusually dark. When the cloud we so much dreaded has turned out to be big with mercies and has scattered showers of blessings upon our heads, let us bless the Lord and bring our sacrifices of joy and praise unto His name.
Surely, these two alone would be right good reasons for offering sacrifice. But Jacob had this other–that he might enquire of the Lord as to His way. At the altar he hoped to receive the oracle. Poor old Jacob appears to have been in a great dilemma–he seems to have greatly questioned whether it was right for him to go down into Egypt. And, as I shall have to show you, it was a matter that was open to grave question and could not have been safely decided unless the Lord had spoken.
It was the custom with men, when they offered sacrifice, to use the occasion of the sacrifice as an opportunity for consulting the oracles of God and learning His Divine will. People went up to the temple of the Lord to enquire His mind–they went to ask direction from God's mouth, through His servants–who spoke in His name. I wish sometimes that God's people would be more careful to ask their way of God. I fear that they too often err by blundering on and taking no heed to their way.
When I get into a part of the country where I do not know the road, I ask my way of almost everybody I see, because I think that there will not be half the time spent in asking the way that will be wasted in going wrong. The Lord loves to see His children anxious to be right. For that anxiety is a great point in their right guidance.
If He does not speak to us in a dream, nor by the Urim and Thummim, nor by the voice of a Prophet, yet He secretly guides our minds.
We are made careful–we are helped to weigh the matter in the balances of the sanctuary and then our cool, calm judgment makes its decisions and we choose the way which is most for God's glory.
It is a safe and a pleasant thing to enquire in His temple. For God the Holy Spirit still directs the paths of His people and leads them in the way everlasting.
So let us learn from Jacob, especially at the beginning of any fresh enterprise, to draw near unto God with special devotion. We cannot too often remember that great Sacrifice by which we live– neither can we too often present ourselves as living sacrifices unto the Lord.
But now, plunging into the center of the text, I notice, first, that Jacob had a fear. His fear was natural. But, secondly, his fear needed to be removed, for God said to him, "Fear not to go down into Egypt." And, thirdly, his fear was removed most sweetly. And with confidence, the venerable man went on his way.
First, then, JACOB'S FEAR WAS NATURAL. It was natural because he was an aged man–an aged man leaving the land of his birth. Old men do not like changes and they especially fear changes of country and custom. A young man runs all over the world and cares little where he goes, for he has plenty of youth's quicksilver in him. He cries, "Sitting hens get no barley"–and so he pecks up a grain here and a grain there, from Liverpool to New York, and from New York to San Francisco, and from there to New Zealand, the Cape, and home again.
The young man makes himself at home anywhere. But the old man loves the old house at home and the fireside where his children have been likely to gather. Old trees strike their roots deep and it is not easy to transplant them. It is neither pleasant nor safe to uproot an ancient elm–let it stay where it is. Solomon says concerning the old man, that he is "afraid of that which is high and fears shall be in the way." And it is very natural, indeed, that the man should feel a great disturbance in his mind at the sight of high enterprises and untrod ways.
Was not Jacob one hundred and thirty years old, or thereabouts, at the time when he went down into Egypt? He had lived, in the pastures of Canaan with his flocks and herds, the life of a Bedouin shepherd, and his whole soul clung to the country. For "Jacob was a plain man dwelling in tents." The oaks and the plains of Mamre, the hills of Carmel and the valleys of Succoth were dear to him and he started at the idea of emigrating to a land of canals and watercourses, and he dreaded life among educated Egyptians and pompous officers of Pharaoh. It was no slight change from Canaan to Egypt. Do you wonder that he was afraid?
His fear also, no doubt, arose, next, from the fact that he was going into an idolatrous country of which he knew very little, except that it was a place which teemed with the memorials of false deities. A land of religion so degraded that cats and crocodiles were worshipped and even vegetables which grew in the gardens. An Egyptian must have been a living riddle to an unsophisticated shepherd from such a country as Palestine. Egypt had a reputation for learning and philosophy and divination. And these, to an aged countryman, would seem mysterious and uncanny features in his venture.
He loved not the change. The Canaanites were bad enough. But he had grown accustomed to them and they had a healthy fear of him–these Egyptians, what might they not do? He was encouraged, because Joseph was there and was lord over all Egypt–even that was a very romantic affair and the whole business was surrounded with mystery.
Finally, the associations of Egypt were trying. It had cost the good old man many bitter pangs to send his sons down into that country to buy corn. Egypt had an ugly name for him. It was like sending them to Botany Bay, or Norfolk Island. Somehow, it was not a country that he had any liking for, and so Jacob's heart was in his mouth. And he trembled to think that in his old age he should be going away from where he had lived and especially to be going, not to the ancient country from where his family had originally come forth, but to Egypt, a place which was of ill savor to his fathers, a country whose associations were rather trying than hopeful.
Abraham went down into Egypt and he met with trouble there and brought away from it one named Hagar, who was a great trial in his household. In fact, it was the mischievous event in his life.
And Isaac had thought of going there but the Lord appeared unto him and said, "Go not down into Egypt." So a country where his grandfather fared ill and where his father was warned not to go, must have seemed, to the anxious Patriarch, to be a place to be avoided rather than sought.
He shook his head many times and though he had said so bravely, "Joseph is yet alive. I will go and see him before I die," the journey wore the aspect of great risk and tremendous difficulty–with a question hanging over it like a black cloud–"After all, would it be a right step?" Taking all things into consideration, he was filled with a very natural, and I think I may add, a very proper fear. Would not you have trembled had you been in his position?
Moreover, he had some intimation, probably, that this was to be a land of pre-eminent trial for his race. For had not God said to Abraham that his seed should be strangers in a strange land and that they should be afflicted for four hundred years? The old man, with prescient eye, began to suspect that this was to be the land which caused Abraham the horror of great darkness, which was set forth before him as the fiery furnace and the smoking lamp. And so he was afraid to go down into Egypt.
And even though Joseph was there, and Joseph was lord over all the land, I should not wonder if the old man was nervous and said, "Joseph may not always be lord over the land–he may fall from his position. As far as I can find out, they put him in prison once. Why should they not put him in prison again? I fear we shall run a great risk." When we once get into the vein of distrust and foreboding, we can always find fresh relays of doubt and fear–at least, I can.
How quick we are at inventing objects of fear! We see in the clouds what was never there but only in our own eyes. We see things which may be–things that never will be. We are fretted at possibilities and ready to faint at adventures. Those dreadful things may be. And what if they were to be? What then and what then?
Then I have no doubt he felt that the change would involve himself and his family in new temptations. They had behaved badly enough among the simple pastoral people–what would they do in the midst of the vices of Egypt? I must confess that I often feel