1800. 3. Wesley, John, 1703-1791. 4. Methodism. I. Title. II. Series.

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

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ISBN 978-0-8358-1656-4 (print) | ISBN 978-0-8358-1695-3 (mobi) | ISBN 978-0-8358-1696-0 (epub) Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Wesley, John, 1703-1791.

(Selections. 1997] A longing for holiness: selected writings of John Wesley. p. com.—(Upper Room spiritual classics. Series 1)

ISBN 0-8358-0827-0

1. Christian life—Methodist authors. 2. Holiness—Early works to 1800. 3. Wesley, John, 1703-1791. 4. Methodism. I. Title. II. Series.

BX8217.W54L662 1997

287—dc21 96-52167 CIP.

Contents Tetradtiction emer "ht ARIE MMe ToD. beer e 0s"

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Introduction ie of millions of Christians around the world look to John Wesley as the founder (or one of the founders) of their denomination. Assorted Methodists and Wesleyans,

Nazarenes, and members of various holiness churches all lay claim to his legacy. Wesley, however, did not intend to found even one denomination. He saw himself as the leader of a revival movement within the Church of England, the overseer of a network of "societies" designed to supplement people's regular church attendance. His hope was "to reform the nation, and especially the church—and to spread scriptural holiness through the land."

Wesley's special genius was to recognize good ideas when he saw them and integrate them into organizational or theological systems. He was not an innovator. Most of the characteristic methods and structures of his societies—subdividing into small groups for mutual nurture (bands and classes), field preaching, using lay preachers, and meeting all the preachers annually in conferences—were found elsewhere or began in individual societies. Wesley recognized their usefulness, refined them, and worked them into his growing institutional

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

system. His theology was grounded in a thorough knowledge of scripture as well as copious reading of ancient, medieval, and modern authors. He tested theological ideas by experience, whether his own or that of others, and he looked always for practical implications and fruits.

Wesley saw the importance of holy living for people at any point in the faith journey. Anyone can benefit from doing good, avoiding evil, and using the means of grace, that is, by developing holy habits. But the grace of the Holy Spirit, he also stressed, is necessary before inward transformation can truly begin. Such transformation continues throughout the Christian's life, and is seen as a process leading toward perfection in love—to loving God with all of one's heart, soul, mind, and strength and loving one's neighbor as oneself. Maintaining this dynamic tension between God's action of grace in the Christian's soul and the Christian's own efforts to live in response to grace formed Wesley's most important theological contribution. This dynamic tension was supported by a second one—between reason (knowing about God) and experience

(knowing God personally).

The selections here include excerpts from Wesley's Journal that tell of his own struggle to move from knowing about God and being devoted to God to knowing God and feeling an assurance of God's love. They continue with a portrait of Christian perfection ("The Character of a Methodist") and practical suggestions for those on the way.

INTRODUCTION

Wesley's World When Wesley was born in 1703, England was emerging from more than a century and a half of religious conflict. Reforms and counterreforms had created an atmosphere of controversy and even turmoil.

In 1532, King Henry VIII had effected the separation of the Church of England from Roman Catholicism, with himself as head of the church. The new church was heavily influenced by Calvinist and Lutheran Protestantism, although it sought a "middle way" between the most radical reforms and the Catholic tradition. The reforms continued during the reign of Edward VI (1547-53) under the leadership of Archbishop

Thomas Cranmer. The first Book of Common Prayer was published in 1549. This prayer book (as revised in 1553 and 1662) still formed the basis for public and private worship in the Church of England in Wesley's day.

After Edward's death, his half sister Mary came to the throne and attempted to restore Roman Catholicism. She executed many of the leaders of the English Reformation, including Cranmer. After Mary's death in 1558, her half sister

Elizabeth returned England to Protestantism. Her forty-fouryear reign gave time for the Church of England to become firmly established.

Elizabeth was succeeded by her cousin James I (reigned 1603-25), who authorized the translation of the Bible into

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

English (1611) that commonly bears his name. James and his son Charles I (reigned 1625-49) moved slowly but steadily toward Roman Catholicism. The strongly Puritan (Calvinist)

Parliament responded by raising its own army to overthrow Charles and execute him. For ten years the English Commonwealth existed without a king and without any established church. Baptists and Quakers were free to exist alongside the Puritans and other Calvinist groups. Then, in 1660, Parliament restored Charles II (the son of Charles I) to the throne, and reestablished the Church of England. Anyone not agreeing to abide by the Book of Common Prayer and other defining documents of the Church of England might be subject to arrest. Among the dissenting or "nonconforming" ministers were John Bunyan, who wrote The Pilgrim's Progress (published

1678) while in jail, and Samuel Annesley and John Westley [sic], the grandfathers of John Wesley.

But the time of religious dissension and controversy was not over. James II (reigned 1685-88) openly embraced Roman

Catholicism, even though he was officially the Supreme Governor of the Church of England. This strange situation ended when James was deposed in favor of his daughter, Mary II, and her husband, William III of Orange. Their reign began with the Acts of Toleration (1689), which allowed Protestant dissenters freedom to practice their religion as long as both ministers and meetinghouses were registered with the government.

Toleration did not extend to Roman Catholics and Unitarians.

INTRODUCTION

One consequence of this history of religious upheaval was a suspicion of any sort of religious fervor. Reasonable religion was the watchword of the day. Deism, which pictured God as aloof and uninvolved with creation, attracted many. Others preached a sort of "justification by sincerity" and saw the essence of Christianity as an earnest effort to do good. This view downplayed a relationship with Christ or an experience of God's love. It was for such a sincere and methodical effort to do good and to live devout, disciplined lives that the Wesleys began the Holy Club (see below).

Meanwhile, another reaction to "reasonable" religion was gaining force in Europe. A movement known as Pietism arose within German Lutheranism in the late-seventeenth century under the leadership of Philipp Jacob Spener. It promoted personal and inward religion in place of intellectualism. It emphasized the heart over the mind and made extensive use of small groups for Bible study and prayer. Similar "religious societies" began in many places in England, including one begun in 1700 by Samuel Wesley, John Wesley's father. Pietism also fueled the spread of a group in Europe known as the Moravians, which in turn spread to America and England and had a profound influence on Wesley.

During Wesley's lifetime, England also underwent profound social upheaval. The Industrial Revolution began, sending the predominantly rural population to the cities, creating overcrowding and poverty. As people migrated from rural parishes,

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

the city churches were unprepared to receive them. These were people ready to hear Wesley or others who would preach to them in fields or coal pits or wherever space could be found.

Wesley's Life John Wesley was born June 17, 1703, in Epworth, Lincolnshire, England, where his father, Samuel, was rector. John's education began when he was five, primarily under the direction of his mother, Susanna. In 1709, the rectory in Epworth caught fire and John was rescued from an upper-story window shortly before the roof collapsed. Susanna taught him to regard himself as a "brand plucked from the burning," saved by divine providence for some special purpose.

In 1714, Wesley left home for the Charterhouse school in London, then continued his education at Christ Church College, Oxford. At his father's urging, he prepared for ordination.

Beginning in 1725, he read a series of books that convinced him of the necessity of devoting his life to God, including Rules and Exercises of Holy Living and Dying by Jeremy Taylor, The Imitation of Christ by Thomas 4 Kempis, and A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life by William Law. Wesley was ordained as a priest in 1728 and served briefly as his father's assistant.

He returned to Oxford to serve as a Fellow of Lincoln College, teaching logic, philosophy, and Greek. There he found his younger brother Charles had become serious about religion and

INTRODUCTION

gathered a small group of friends. John soon became the leader of this Holy Club. Because of the group's highly structured approach to prayer, spiritual reading, attendance at Communion, and charitable activity they were dubbed "Methodists" by other students.

In 1735, John, Charles, and two others went to the new colony of Georgia in hope of working as missionaries among the Native Americans as well as serving the spiritual needs of the colonists. On the way, Wesley met a group of German

Moravians and was impressed with their faith in the face of danger. In Georgia, he organized groups for spiritual nurture and in one of them met a young woman with whom he fell in love. While he tried to decide whether to marry her or cling to the idea that celibacy was necessary for his own spiritual health, she married someone else. Wesley found an excuse to refuse her Communion and her husband and guardian sued.

As the suit dragged on, Wesley took the hint and returned to England, convinced he was a total failure. In London, Wesley continued to meet with Moravians in hope of finding a faith that would give him peace and joy in the Lord. He felt that his prayers were answered in a meeting on May 24, 1738. Within a couple of days Charles had a similar experience. The two brothers could now preach from their own experience what they had known (and preached) as theory.

Over the next several years, John and Charles began to travel around England, preaching and establishing groups

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

that became the United Societies, eventually organized into "classes" and "bands": groups for mutual spiritual direction.

At the urging of George Whitefield, one of the Oxford Methodists, they began preaching in fields, sometimes to tens of thousands. The movement was torn by controversy over predestination and quietism (an approach to the spiritual life that emphasized mystical passivity). Wesley began to publish carefully edited extracts from his Journal to explain his experience and his teaching, as well as numerous tracts and letters arguing various issues. Despite defections over these issues, the Wesleys managed to hold on to a core of followers. The brothers traveled constantly, mainly between London, Bristol, and Newcastle, but with excursions to Wales, Scotland,

Ireland, and the rest of England. The movement continued to grow, and new preachers (both clergy and lay, including some women) joined the Wesleys. In addition to the Journal and tracts, John Wesley published sermons, hymnals (filled with hymns by Charles), selections from spiritual classics, and even a book of home remedies, Primitive Pbysick. In 1766, followers who had emigrated to America began to organize societies and classes there, and Wesley sent missionaries to oversee their work.

After another confusing and distressing romance, John Wesley finally did marry in 1751. His wife was a widow,

Mrs. Mary (Molly) Vazeille, and proved a terrible choice. She did not want to travel with him, and she suspected him of

INTRODUCTION

infidelity while he was on the road. After a few years she left him for good, and Wesley gave up hope of reconciliation. She died in 1781.

Wesley died on March 2, 1791, in his room at the Methodist chapel in London. He had preached his last sermon only seven days before, though his voice was barely audible and he had to be supported by two assistants. That did not really matter. He was so revered that people came simply to be in his presence. At the time of his death there were more than 70,000

Methodists in the British Isles and an additional 80,000 in North America.

Further Reading A new scholarly edition of Wesley's works was published by Abingdon Press. A selection of his writings with extensive introductions is John Wesley, edited by Albert C. Outler, from Oxford University Press. Two other books on Wesley, both from Abingdon, are Reasonable Enthusiast: John Wesley and the Rise of Methodism by Henry D. Rack and Wesley and the People Called Methodists by Richard P. Heitzenrater, both from Abingdon. The latter is intended for more popular reading and contains numerous illustrations and maps. Books that influenced Wesley (and are still available) are Spiritual Affections by Jonathan Edwards and the works of Gregory of Nyssa.

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

Note on the Texts These selections are intended for devotional reading by individuals or groups. They have been edited for ease of reading.

Spelling, punctuation, and grammar have been modernized and some obscure words and phrases translated to current usage. Scripture quotations and paraphrases (indicated in the text by italics) have been conformed where possible to the New

Revised Standard Version. Some alterations have been made for the sake of inclusive language.

A Prayer of Submission From A Collection of Forms of Prayer Wesley's first published work was this collection of prayers for each day of the week, morning and evening, gathered and edited from a variety of sources. It was printed in 1733, before his mission trip to Georgia. This is the prayer for Thursday evening.

To you, O God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, my Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier, I give up myself entirely. May I no longer serve myself, but you, all the days of my life.

I give you my understanding. May it be my only care to know you, your perfections, your works, and your will.

Let all things else be as dross unto me, for the excellency of this knowledge, and let me silence all reasonings against whatsoever you teach me, who can neither deceive nor be deceived.

I give you my will. May I have no will of my own. Whatsoever you will, may I will, and that only. May I will your glory in all things, as you do, and make that my end in every thing.

May I ever say with the psalmist, "Whom have I in heaven but

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire other than you"* May I delight to do your will, O God, and rejoice to accept it. Whatever threatens me, let me say, "It is the Lord; let him do what seems good to him." And whatever befalls me, let me give thanks, since it is your will concerning me.

I give you my affections. Dispose of them all. Be my love, my fear, my joy; and may nothing have any share in them, but with respect to you and for your sake. What you love, may I love; what you hate, may I hate; and that in such measures as you are pleased to prescribe for me.

I give you my body. May I glorify you with it, and preserve it holy, fit for you, O God, to dwell in. May I neither indulge it, nor use too much rigor toward it; but keep it, as far as in me lies, healthy, vigorous, and active, and fit to do you all manner of service that you shall call for.

I give you all my worldly goods. May I prize them and use them only for you. May I faithfully restore to you, in the poor, all you have entrusted me with, above the necessaries of life; and be content to part with them too, whenever you, my Lord, shall require them at my hands.

"Italics here and throughout indicate scriptural quotations or allusions.

Where possible, they have been conformed to the New Revised Standard Version.

A PRAYER OF SUBMISSION

I give you my credit and reputation. May I never value it, but only in respect of you; nor endeavor to maintain it, but as it may do the service and advance your honor in the world.

I give you myself and my all. Let me look upon myself to be nothing, and to have nothing, apart from you. Be the sole disposer and governor of myself and all; be my portion and my all.

O my God and my all, when hereafter I shall be tempted to break this solemn engagement, when I shall be pressed to conform to the world and to the company and customs that surround me, may my answer be: "I am not my own. I am not for myself, not for the world, but for my God. I will give unto God the things that are God's. God, be merciful to me a sinner."

A Storm at Sea Journal, January 1736 Wesley is on his way to the colony of Georgia to be a missionary to Native Americans. On the same boat are several German

Moravians.

Fri. 23.—In the evening another storm began. In the morning it increased, so that they were forced to let the ship drive.

I could not but say to myself, "How is it that you have no faith?" being still unwilling to die. About one in the afternoon, almost as soon as I had stepped out of the great cabindoor, the sea did not break as usual, but came with a full, smooth tide over the side of the ship. I was vaulted over with water in a moment and so stunned that I scarce expected to lift up my head again, till the sea should give up her dead. But thanks be to God, I received no hurt at all. About midnight the storm ceased.

Sun. 25.—At noon our third storm began. At four it was more violent than before. Now, indeed, we could say, the stormy wind .

. lifted up the waves of the sea. They mounted up to heaven, they went down to the depths. The winds roared

A STORM AT SEA

round about us, and (what I never heard before) whistled as distinctly as if it had been a human voice. The ship not only rocked to and fro with the utmost violence, but shook and jarred with such an unequal, grating motion that one could only with great difficulty keep one's hold of any thing, and not stand a moment without it. Every ten minutes came a shock against the stern or side of the ship, which one would think should dash the planks in pieces. At this time a child, privately baptized before, was brought to be received into the church.

It put me in mind of Jeremiah's buying the field, when the Chaldeans were put on the point of destroying Jerusalem, and seemed a pledge of the mercy God designed to show us, even in the land of the living.

We spent two or three hours after prayers in conversation suitable to the occasion, confirming one another in a calm submission to the wise, holy, gracious will of God. And now a storm did not appear so terrible as before. Blessed be the God of all consolation!

At seven I went to the Germans. I had long before observed the great seriousness of their behavior. Of their humility they had given a continual proof, by performing those servile tasks for other passengers that none of the English would undertake.

For this they desired—and would receive—no pay, saying, "it was good for their proud hearts," and "their loving Savior had done more for them." And every day had given them occasion

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

of showing a meekness which no injury could move. If they were pushed, struck, or thrown down, they rose again and went away; but no complaint was found in their mouth. There was soon an opportunity to test whether they were delivered from the spirit of fear, as well as from that of pride, anger, and revenge. In the midst of the psalm wherewith their service began, the sea broke over, split the mainsail in pieces, covered the ship, and poured in between the decks, as if the great deep had already swallowed us up. A terrible screaming began among the English. The Germans calmly sang on. I asked one of them afterward, "Were you not afraid?" He answered, "I thank God, no." I asked, "But were not your women and children afraid?" He replied, mildly, "No, our women and children are not afraid to die."

From them I went to their crying, trembling neighbors and pointed out to them the difference in the hour of trial between those who fear God and those who do not fear God.

At twelve the wind fell. This was the most glorious day that I have yet seen.

Wesley Meets a Moravian Leader Journal, February 1736 Wesley, now arrived in Georgia, meets A. G. Spangenberg, a leader of the Moravians already in Georgia.

Sat. 7—Mr. Oglethorpe returned from Savannah with Mr.

Spangenberg, one of the pastors of the Germans. I soon found what spirit he was of and asked his advice with regard to my own conduct. He said, "My brother, I must first ask you one or two questions. Have you the witness within yourself? Does the Spirit of God bear witness with your spirit, that you are a child of God?" I was surprised and did not know what to answer. He observed it and asked, "Do you know Jesus Christ?" I paused and said, "I know he is the Savior of the world." "True," he replied; "but do you know that he has saved you?" I answered,

"T hope he has died to save me." He only added, "Do you know yourself?" I said, "I do." But I fear they were vain words.

Mon. 9.—I asked him many questions, both concerning himself and the church at Hernhuth. The substance of his answers was this:

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

"At eighteen years old, I was sent to the university of Jena, where I spent some years in learning languages, and vain philosophy, which I have now long been laboring to forget. Here it pleased God, by some that preached his word with power, to overturn my heart. I immediately threw aside all my learning but what tended to save my soul. I shunned all company and retired to a solitary place, resolving to spend my life there. For three days I had much comfort there; but on the fourth it was all gone. I was amazed, and went for advice to an experienced

Christian. When I came to him, I could not speak. But he saw my heart and advised me to go back to my house and follow the business Providence called me to. I went back, but was fit for nothing. I could neither do business nor join in any conversation. All I could say to any one was Yes or No. Many times I could not say even that nor understand the plainest thing that was said to me. My friends and acquaintances looked upon me as dead, came no more to me, nor spoke about me.

"When I grew better, I began teaching some poor children. Others joining with me, we taught more and more, till there were more than thirty teachers and more than two hundred scholars. I now had invitations to other universities.

But I could not accept any, desiring only, if it were the will of God, to be little and unknown. I had spent some years thus, when Professor Breithaupt, of Halle, died. Being then pressed to go there, I believed it was the call of God and went. I had not been long there before many faults were found, both with

WESLEY MEETS A MORAVIAN LEADER

my behavior and preaching; and offenses increased more and more, till, after half'a year, a petition against me was sent to the King of Prussia, who sent an order to the commander at Halle; as a result I was warned to leave the city in forty-eight hours. I did so, and retired to Hernhuth to Count Zinzendorf.

"The village of Hernhuth contains about a thousand souls gathered out of many nations. They hold fast the discipline, as well as the faith and practice, of the apostolic church. Last year the brethren there wanted me to conduct sixteen of them to Georgia, where two lots of ground are assigned us; and with them I have stayed ever since."

I asked where he was to go next. He said, "I have thoughts of going to Pennsylvania. But what God will do with me I do not know. I am blind. I am a child. My Father knows, and I am ready to go wherever he calls."

"Who Shall Convert Me?"

Journal, January 1738 Wesley returned to England feeling himself a thorough failure.

He had converted no Native Americans and had been involved in a disastrous romance that led to a lawsuit that drove him from Georgia. As his ship neared England he was certainly at a low point in his life.

On Monday, [January] 9, and the following days, I reflected much on that vain desire, which had pursued me for so many years, of being in solitude, in order to be a Christian. I have now, thought I, solitude enough. But am I, therefore, the nearer being a Christian? Not if Jesus Christ be the model of Christianity. I suspect, indeed, I am much nearer that mystery of Satan, which some writers affect to call by that name.

So near that I had probably sunk wholly into it, had not the great mercy of God just now thrown me upon reading Saint

Cyprian's works.

Pri. 13.—We had a violent storm, which obliged us to shut all the hatches; the sea was breaking over the ship continually.

I was at first afraid, but cried to God and was strengthened.

"WHO SHALL CONVERT ME?"

245, Before ten I lay down, I bless God, without fear. About midnight we were awakened by a confused noise of seas and wind and men's voices, the like to which I had never heard before.

I can compare the sound of the sea breaking over and against the sides of the ship to nothing but large cannon or American thunder. The rebounding, starting, quivering motion of the ship much resembled what is said of earthquakes. The captain was upon deck in an instant. But his men could not hear what he said. It blew a true hurricane, which beginning at southwest, then went west, northwest, north, and in a quarter of an hour, round by the east to the southwest point again. At the same time, because the sea was running (as they term it) mountain-high, and that from many different points at once, the ship would not obey the helm; nor indeed could the steersman, through the violent rain, see the compass. So he was forced to let her run before the wind, and in half an hour the stress of the storm was over.

About noon the next day it ceased. But first I had resolved, God being my helper, not only to preach it to all, but to apply the word of God to every single soul in the ship. If but one, yea, if not one of them will hear, I know my /abor is not in vain.

I no sooner executed this resolution than my spirit revived. So that from this day I had no more of that fearfulness and heaviness that before almost continually weighed me down. I am sensible that one who sees being "in hell" as an

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

indispensable preparative for being a Christian would say, I had better have continued in that state; and that this unseasonable relief was a curse, not a blessing. But who are you, O man, who, in favor of a wretched hypothesis, thus blaspheme the good gift of God? Has not God himself said, "Jo. .

. find enjoyment in their toil—this is the gift of God"? Yea, God sets his own seal to their weak endeavors, while he thus keeps them occupied with the joy of their hearts.

Tues. 24.—We spoke with two ships, outward-bound, from whom we had the welcome news of our being but one hundred and sixty leagues from Land's end. My mind was now full of thought; part of which I wrote down as follows:

"I went to America, to convert the Indians. But oh! who shall convert me? Who, what is he that will deliver me from this evil heart of unbelief? I have a fair summer religion. I can talk well; nay, and believe myself while no danger is near: But let death look me in the face and my spirit is troubled. Nor can

I say, 'Dying is gain!"

I have a sin of fear, that when I've spun My last thread, I shall perish on the shore.

"T think, truly, if the gospel be true, I am safe; for I not only have given, and do give, all my goods to feed the poor; I not only give my body to be burned, drowned, or whatever God shall appoint for me; but I follow after charity—though not as I ought, yet as I can—if haply I may attain it. I now believe

"WHO SHALL CONVERT ME?"

the gospel is true. I show my faith by my works, by staking my all upon it. I would do so again and again a thousand times, if the choice were still to make. Whoever sees me sees I would be

Christian. Therefore are my ways not like others' ways. Therefore I have been, I am, I am content to be, a by-word and a proverb of reproach. But in a storm I think, "What if the gospel be not true? Then you are of all people most foolish. For what have you given your goods, your ease, your friends, your reputation, your country, your life? For what are you wandering over the face of the earth? A dream, a cleverly devised myth.' Oh!

Who will rescue me from this body of death? What shall I do?

"Where shall I fly from it? Should I fight against it by thinking, or by not thinking of it? A wise man advised me some time since, 'Be still, and go on.' Perhaps this is best, to look upon it as my cross; when it comes, to let it humble me and quicken all my good resolutions, especially that of praying without ceasing; and at other times, to take no thought about it, but quietly to go on in the work of the Lord."

"What Have | Learned of Myself?"

Journal, February 1738 After his ship landed, Wesley summarized his trip and what he had learned It is now two years and almost four months since I left my native country, in order to teach the Georgian Indians the nature of Christianity. But what have I learned myself in the meantime? Why, (what I the least of all suspected) that I who went to America to convert others was never myself converted to God. J am not out of my mind, though I thus speak, but J speak the sober truth. Perhaps some of those who still dream may awake, and see that as I am, so are they.

Are they read in philosophy? So was I. In ancient or modern tongues? So was I also. Are they versed in the science of divinity? I too have studied it many years. Can they talk fluently about spiritual things? The very same could I do. Are they plenteous in alms? Behold, I gave all my goods to feed the poor.

Do they give of their labor as well as of their substance? I have labored more abundantly than they all. Are they willing to suf fer for their brethren? I have thrown up my friends, reputation,

"WHAT HAVE I LEARNED OF MYSELF?"

ease, country; I have put my life in my hand, wandering into strange lands; I have given my body to be devoured by the deep, parched up with heat, consumed by toil and weariness, or whatsoever God should please to bring upon me. But does all this (be it more or less, it does not matter) make me acceptable to God? Does all I ever did or can know, say, give, do, or suffer, justify me in his sight? Yea, or the constant use of all the means of grace? (Which, nevertheless, is meet, right, and our bounden duty.) Or that I know nothing of myself? That I am, as touching outward, moral righteousness blameless? Or (to come closer yet) that I have a rational conviction of all the truths of Christianity? Does all this give me a claim to the holy, heavenly, divine character of a Christian? By no means. If the Oracles of God are true, all these things, though when ennobled by faith in Christ are holy and just and good, yet without it they are dross, fit only to be purged away by the unquenchable fire.

This, then, have I learned in the ends of the earth:

That I have fallen short of the glory of God.

That my whole heart is altogether corrupt and abominable, and consequently so is my whole life (since it cannot be that a bad tree should bear good fruit).

That alienated as\ am from the life of God, | am a child of wrath, an heir of hell.

That my own works, my own sufferings, my own righteousness, are so far from reconciling me to an offended God,

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

so far from making any atonement for the least of those sins, which are more in number than the hairs of my head, that the most specious of them need an atonement themselves, or they cannot abide his righteous judgment.

That having the sentence of death in my heart, and having nothing in or of myself to plead, I have no hope but that of being justified freely, through the redemption that is in Jesus. | have no hope but that if I seek I shall find Christ, and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but one that comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God based on faith.

If it be said that I have faith (for many such things have I heard, from many miserable comforters), I answer, so have the devils—a sort of faith. But still they are strangers to the covenant of promise. So the apostles have even at Cana in Galilee, when Jesus first revealed his glory. Even then they, in a way, believed in him. But they had not then the faith that conquers the world. The faith I want is, "a sure trust and confidence in God, that, through the merits of Christ, my sins are forgiven and I am reconciled to the favor of God." I want that faith that Saint Paul recommends to all the world: that faith that enables every one that has it to cry out, "It is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." want that faith that none can have without knowing that they have it (though many imagine they have it, who do

"WHAT HAVE I LEARNED OF MYSELF?"

not). For those who have it are freed from sin. The whole body of sin is destroyed in them. They are freed from fear, having peace with God through Christ and boasting in hope of sharing the glory of God. And they are freed from doubt because God's love has been poured into their hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to them, which Spirit bears witness with their spirit that they are children of God.

"Preach Faith Till You Have It"

Journal, March and April 1738 Back in England, Wesley met often with Peter Bohler, another

German Moravian. Here are accounts of two such meetings.

Sat. March 4.—I found my brother at Oxford, recovering from his pleurisy, and with him Peter Bohler, by whom (in the hand of the great God) I was, on Sunday, the fifth, clearly convinced of unbelief, of the want of that faith whereby alone we are saved.

Immediately it struck into my mind, "Leave off preaching. How can you preach to others, when you have not faith yourself?" I asked Bohler whether he thought I should leave it off or not. He answered, "By no means." I asked, "But what can I preach?" He said, "Preach faith ¢i// you have it; and then, because you have it, you will preach faith."

Sat. April 22.—I met Peter Bohler once more. I had now no objection to what he said of the nature of faith; namely, that it is (to use the words of our church) "a sure trust and confidence that a man has in God, that through the merits a2

"PREACH FAITH TILL YOU HAVE IT"

aS) of Christ his sins are forgiven, and he reconciled to the favor of God." Neither could I deny either the happiness of holiness which he described, as fruits of this living faith. That very

Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God, and Those who believe have the testimony in their hearts fully convinced me of the former, as Those who have been born of God do not sin, and Everyone who believes has been born of God did of the latter. But I could not comprehend what he said about an instantaneous work. \ could not understand how this faith should be given in a moment, how a man could at once be thus turned from darkness to light, from sin and misery to righteousness and joy in the Holy Spirit. I searched the Scriptures again, concerning this very thing, particularly the Acts of the Apostles. But to my utter astonishment, I found scarce an instance there of other than instantaneous conversions; scarce any so slow as that of Saint Paul, who was three days in the pangs of the new birth. I had but one retreat left; namely, "God worked in this way in the first ages of Christianity, but the times are changed. What reason have I to believe he works in the same manner now? "

But on Sunday, 23, I was beat out of this retreat, too, by the concurring evidence of several living witnesses who testified

God had thus worked in themselves, giving them in a moment such a faith in the blood of his Son as translated them out of

WRITINGS OF JOHN WESLEY

darkness into light, out of sin and fear into holiness and happiness. Here ended my disputing. I could now only cry out,

"Lord, help my unbelief."

I asked P. Bohler again whether I ought not to refrain from teaching others. He said, "No, do not hide in the earth the talent God has given you."

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