you are, if you are there at all, who said to your brother, "Forgive me the wrong
130 SAINT A UG USTINE - SERMONS of iniquity everywhere in this life, then say, Forgive us our debts. But notice what comes next. I mean, you were unwilling to forgive your brother a sin, and are you going to say as we forgive our debtors? Or aren't you going to say it? If you're not going to say it, you're not going to receive anything; if you are going to say it, you're going to say something false. So say it, and let what you say be true. How is what you say going to be true, if you have refused to let your brother off for the wrong he did you?
A friendly approach is a way of asking pardon
4. I've been giving him a talking to; now I've some comfort for you, whoever you are, if you are there at all, who said to your brother, "Forgive me the wrong I did you." If you said it from the bottom of your heart, if with genuine humility, not with a pretense of love, as God can see in your heart how you said it, but the other fellow refused to forgive you, don't be anxious. You're both servants, you have a Lord; you owe your fellow servant a debt, he refused to forgive you; appeal to the Lord of both of you. Let that servant exact, if he can, what the Lord has forgiven you.
I've something else to say. I've given the person a good talking to, who wouldn't forgive his brother when he asked to be forgiven, warning him to do what he wouldn't, in case when he prays he doesn't receive what he desires. I have also advised the one who asked pardon for his sin from his brother and didn't get it, that he can be sure of getting from his Lord what he didn't obtain from his brother. There's also something else I must advise you about. Your brother has sinned against you, and has refused to say to you, "Forgive me the wrong I've done you."5
There's plenty of that weed about; if only God would uproot it all from his field, that is from your hearts! How many people there are, I mean, who know they've sinned against their brothers or sisters, and won't say, "Forgive me." They weren't ashamed to sin, and they're ashamed to beg pardon; they weren't ashamed of iniquity, and they're ashamed of humility. So first of all I'm admon¬ ishing those of you who have a quarrel with' your brothers or sisters, and then you send for yourselves and examine yourselves and pass a just judgment on yourselves, inside in your hearts, and find that you ought not to have done what you did, ought not to have said what you did; beg pardon, brothers and sisters, from your brothers or sisters, do what the apostle said: Forgiving one another just as God too has forgiven you in Christ (Eph 4:32); do it, don't be ashamed to beg pardon.
Yes, I'm saying this to everybody, to men and women, to young and old, laity and clergy, I'm saying it to myself as well; let us all listen, all fear, if we've sinned against our brothers and sisters. We've been granted a truce to live a little longer, that's no reason why we should die. We are still alive, you see, we haven't yet been condemned; as long as we live, let's do what we're told to by the Father who will be our judge, and beg pardon from the brothers or sisters, whom perhaps we've given some offense to, done some harm to by sinning against them.