G. K. Chesterton said that God commanded us to love about a matter, because it may be wrong (18:17);
Proverbs niv), or who are dishonest (29:27). Believers need to heed Psalm 1:1–2 and 2 Corinthians 6:14–18.
dom and way of the Lord, they won't stray away at all. Even in old age, they will follow the wisdom of God.
The qualities of true friendship. I've already mentioned love, and true love will produce loyalty. "A friend loves at all times" (Prov. 17:17 niv) and "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (18:24 niv). Sometimes our friends do more for us in an emergency than our relatives do! By the way, this loyalty ought to extend to our parents' friends. "Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father" (27:10 niv). Long-time family friends can be a blessing from one generation to the next.
Certainly it's true that children raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord can stray from God, but they can never get away from the prayers of their parents or the seed that's been planted in their hearts. Parents should never despair but keep on praying and trusting God to bring wayward children to their senses. But that isn't what Proverbs 22:6 is speaking about. Like the other proverbs, it's not making an ironclad guarantee but is laying down a general principle.4
In the autumn of 1993, we replaced a pin oak that a tornado had ripped out of our front yard, and the nursery people attached three guy-wires to the trunk of the new tree to make sure it would grow straight. They also taped metal rods to two limbs that were growing down instead of straight out. If you don't do these things while the tree is young and pliable, you'll never be able to do it at all. "As the twig is bent, so is the tree inclined," says an old proverb, a paraphrase of Proverbs 22:6. God has ordained that parents are older and more experienced than their children and should therefore lovingly guide their children and prepare them for adult life. If any of their children end up sluggards (10:5), gluttons (28:7), fornicators (29:3), rebels (19:26; 20:20; 30:11–12, 17; see Deut. 21:18–21), and robbers (28:24), it should be in spite of the parents' training and not because of it.
True friends know how to keep a confidence. "If you argue your case with a neighbor, do not betray another man's confidence, or he who hears it may shame you and you will never lose your bad reputation" (25:9–10 niv). If you have a disagreement with somebody, don't bring another person into the discussion by betraying confidence, because you'll end up losing both your reputation ("You can't trust him with anything confidential!") and your friend who trusted you with his private thoughts. "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret" (11:13 niv; see 20:19). If we aren't careful, gossip can ruin a friendship (16:28), so the wise thing to do is to cover offenses with love (17:9; 1 Peter 4:8).
This leads to the next important quality for true friends and good neighbors: the ability to control the tongue. "With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape" (Prov. 11:9 niv). Don't believe the first thing you hear about a matter, because it may be wrong (18:17); remember that "a man of understanding holds his tongue" (11:12 niv). If your neighbor or friend speaks falsely of you, talk to him about it privately, but don't seek to avenge yourself by lying about him (24:28–29; 25:18). And beware of people who cause trouble and then say, "I was only joking" (26:18–19).
3. Friends and Neighbors G. K. Chesterton said that God commanded us to love both our enemies and our neighbors because usually they were the same people. My wife and I have always been blessed with wonderful neighbors whom we consider friends; that seems to be the biblical ideal, for the Hebrew word (ra'a) can mean "friend" or "neighbor." In this survey, we'll include both meanings; for what's true of friends ought to be true of neighbors.
Friends and neighbors must be lovingly honest with one another. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (27:6). True friendship in the Lord can't be built on deception; even if "the truth hurts," it can never harm if it's given in love. Better that we "speak the truth in love" (Eph. 4:15), because the Spirit can use truth and love to build character, while the devil uses lies and flattery to tear things down (Prov. 29:5). "He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue" (28:23). It has well been said that flattery is manipulation, not communication; what honest person would want to manipulate a friend?
The basis for friendship. Proverbs makes it clear that true friendship is based on love, because only love will endure the tests that friends experience as they go through life together. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (17:17 nkjv). It's possible to have many companions and no real friends. "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (18:24 niv). Friendship is something that has to be cultivated, and its roots must go deep.
God's people must be especially careful in choosing their friends. "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray" (12:26 nkjv). "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed" (13:20). Friendships that are based on money (6:1–5; 14:20; 19:4, 6–7) or sin (16:29–30; 1:10–19) are destined to be disappointing. So are friendships with people who have bad tempers (22:24–25), who speak foolishly (14:7), who rebel against authority (24:21–22
We must never take our friends for granted and think that they will immediately forgive our offenses, even though forgiveness is the right thing for Christians. "A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle" (18:19). It's strange but true that some of God's people will forgive offenses from unbelievers that they would never forgive if a Christian friend committed them. It
Proverbs days of Rome (Qui parcit virge, odit filium = "Who spares the rod, hates [his] son") and has been in English literature since the year 1000. Those exact words aren't found in Scripture, but Proverbs 13:24 comes closest: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes [early]." The Roman proverb no doubt comes from the Hebrew proverb, which is much older. 4 In The New American Commentary, Duane A. Garrett translates the verse, "Train up a child in a manner befitting a child, and even as he grows old he will not turn from it" (Nashville: Broadman Press, 1993), vol. 14, 188. See also Gleason Archer's explanation in The Encyclopedia of Bible Difficulties (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 1982), 252–53. We don't know how much spiritual instruction Solomon received from his father, David, but when Solomon was old, he turned away from the Lord (1 Kings 11:1–8). Some students think that Ecclesiastes is his "confession of faith," written after he returned to the Lord, but the book doesn't say so and it isn't wise to speculate.
takes a diamond to cut a diamond, and some Christians have a way of putting up defenses that even the church can't break through. Matthew 18:15–35 gives us the steps to take when such things happen, and our Lord warns us that an unforgiving spirit only puts us into prison!
Faithful friends and neighbors counsel and encourage each other. "Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man's friend gives delight by hearty counsel" (Prov. 27:9 nkjv). The images of oil and perfume are fine when the discussion is pleasant, but what's it like when friends disagree? "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend" (27:17). If we're not disagreeable, we usually learn more by disagreeing than by giving in and refusing to say what we really think, "speaking the truth in love" (Eph. 4:15).
Friends and neighbors must exercise tact and be sensitive to each other's feelings. If we spend too much time together, we may wear out our welcome. "Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house, lest he become weary of you and hate you" (Prov. 25:17 nkjv). I've known people who spent so much time with each other that they eventually destroyed their friendship. If we're going to grow, we need space; space comes from privacy and solitude. Even husbands and wives must respect each other's privacy and not be constantly together if their love is to mature.
CHAPTER NINE (Human Speech) A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH A judge speaks some words and a guilty prisoner is taken to a cell on death row. A gossip makes a phone call and a reputation is blemished or perhaps ruined. A cynical professor makes a snide remark in a lecture and a student's faith is destroyed.
"He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it will be counted a curse to him" (27:14 nkjv). Beware the "friend" who loudly and frequently praises you and tells you what a good friend you are, because true friendship doesn't depend on such antics—especially if he wakes you up to do it! Love is sensitive to other people's feelings and needs, and true friends try to say the right thing at the right time in the right way (25:20).
Never underestimate the power of words. For every word in Hitler's book Mein Kampf, 125 people died in World War II.1 Solomon was right: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Prov. 18:21). No wonder James compared the tongue to a destroying fire, a dangerous beast, and a deadly poison (James 3:5–8). Speech is a matter of life or death.
A happy family, encouraging friends, and good neighbors: What blessings these are from the Lord! Let's be sure we do our part to make these blessings a reality in our lives and the lives of others.
When you summarize what Proverbs teaches about human speech, you end up with four important propositions: (1) speech is an awesome gift from God; (2) speech can be used to do good; (3) speech can be used to do evil; and (4) only God can help us use speech to do good.
Notes 1 In marriage, two people become one flesh (Gen. 2:24); therefore, if one partner dies, the marriage is dissolved (Rom. 7:1–3) and the living partner may remarry "in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:39). The book of Proverbs doesn't whitewash the problems that can be faced in marriage, but nowhere does it deal with divorce. It magnifies God's original plan for marriage and the home, and that's what we should do today. People who get married with one hand on an escape hatch aren't likely to have a happy home. 2 Jesus makes it clear in Matthew 19:11–12 that not everybody is supposed to get married, and Paul states that singleness is a gift from God just as much as is marriage (1 Cor. 7:7). I once heard the gifted Christian educator Henrietta Mears say that the only reason she wasn't married was because the apostle Paul was dead! 3 The proverb "Spare the rod and spoil the child" goes back to the
1. Speech Is an Awesome Gift from God Our older daughter's first complete sentence was, "Where Daddy go?" Considering how full my schedule was in those days, it was an appropriate question for her to ask. But, who taught Carolyn how to understand and speak those words? And who explained to her how to put together a sentence that asked a question?
"The ability [to speak] comes so naturally that we are apt to forget what a miracle it is," writes Professor Steven Pinker. "Language is not a cultural artifact that we learn the way we learn to tell time or how the federal government works. Instead, it is a distinct piece of the biological makeup of our brains."2 Christian believers would say that when God created our first
Proverbs
(2 Tim. 4:3). Spiritual leaders are to use sound doctrine to exhort the careless and rebuke the deceivers (Titus 1:9–10; 2:1). The words of Jesus are "wholesome [healthy] words," but the words of false teachers are "sick" (1 Tim. 6:3–4, see niv). "Their teaching will spread like gangrene" (2 Tim. 2:17 niv), but God's words are "life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh" (Prov. 4:22 nkjv).
parents, He gave them the ability to speak and understand words. Made in the image of a God who communicates, human beings have the wonderful gift of speech. "The answer of the tongue is from the Lord" (16:1).
God spoke to Adam and gave him instructions about life in the garden, which he later shared with Eve; they both understood what God told them (Gen. 2:15–17; 3:2–3). Adam was able to name the animals (2:18–20) and to give a descriptive name to his bride (vv. 22–24). Satan used words to deceive Adam and Eve (3:1–5), and Eve must have used words to persuade her husband to eat (v. 6). The Garden of Eden was a place of communication because God gave Adam and Eve the ability to understand and use words.
The Christian who recognizes how awesome is the gift of speech will not abuse that gift but will dedicate it to the glory of God. The New Testament scholar Bishop B. F. Westcott wrote, "Every year makes me tremble at the daring with which people speak of spiritual things." We all need to heed the words of Solomon: "Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; therefore let your words be few" (Eccl. 5:2 nkjv).
The images used in Proverbs for human speech indicate the value of this divine gift that we not only take for granted but too often waste and abuse. Wise words are compared to gold and silver. "The tongue of the just is like choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth" (Prov. 10:20). "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear" (25:11–12 niv). Our words ought to be as balanced, beautiful, and valuable as the most precious jewelry; we ought to work as hard as the craftsman to make them that way. (See Eccl. 12:9–11.)
2. Speech Can Be Used to Do Good No matter what may be wrong with us physically, when the doctor examines us, he or she often says, "Stick out your tongue!" This principle applies to the Christian life, for what the tongue does reveals what the heart contains. Inconsistent speech bears witness to a divided heart, for it is "out of the abundance of the heart" that the mouth speaks (Matt. 12:34). "Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing," wrote James. "My brethren, these things ought not so to be" (James 3:10).
Words are also like refreshing water. "The mouth of a righteous man is a well [fountain] of life" (Prov. 10:11). "The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook" (18:4 nkjv). When we listen to and appropriate the words of a godly person, it's like taking a drink of refreshing water. "The law of the wise is a fountain of life" (13:14), and "the fear of the Lord is a fountain of life" (14:27). But it isn't enough for the wise to speak to us; we must be prepared to listen. "Understanding is a wellspring of life to him who has it" (16:22 nkjv). The soil of the heart must be prepared and the seed of the Word planted, or the water won't do us much good.
What we say can help or hurt other people. When we reviewed some of the images of speech found in Proverbs, we learned that our words can bring beauty and value, nourishment, refreshment, and healing to the inner person. But the awesome power of words reveals itself in other positive ways.
Our words can bring peace instead of war. "A soft [gentle] answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Prov. 15:1 nkjv). "A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel" (v. 18 niv).5 Solomon isn't advising us to compromise the truth and say that what's wrong is really right. Rather, he's counseling us to have a gentle spirit and a conciliatory attitude when we disagree with others. This can defuse the situation and make it easier for us to settle the matter peacefully.
Right words are like nourishing, health-giving food. "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit" (15:4 niv). What a wonderful thing it is to say the right words and help to heal a broken spirit! The phrase "tree of life" means "source of life" and goes back to Genesis 2:9.3 "The lips of the righteous feed many" (Prov. 10:21; see 18:20). "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones" (16:24 nkjv; see Ps. 119:103). "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (Prov. 12:18 niv; see 12:14; 13:2).
Once again, the key issue is the condition of the heart. If there's war in the heart, then our words will be destructive missiles instead of healing medicines. "But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth" (James 3:14 nkjv). Earthly wisdom advises us to fight for our rights and make every disagreement a win/lose situation, but heavenly wisdom seeks for a win/win situation that strengthens the "unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" (Eph. 4:3). "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield,6 full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy" (James 3:17 nkjv). Applying this
The apostle Paul considered biblical doctrine to be "healthy doctrine" ("sound doctrine," kjv)4 that nourishes the believer's spiritual life. He warned Timothy to beware of anything that was "contrary to sound [healthy] doctrine" (1 Tim. 1:10), and he reminded him that the time would come when professed Christians wouldn't "endure sound [healthy] doctrine"
Proverbs obey Titus 2:3–5, or we will end up with an uninstructed church.
wisdom means taking the attitude that's described in Philippians 2:1–12, the attitude that was practiced by Jesus Christ.
Our words can rescue the perishing. "A true witness delivers souls, but a deceitful witness speaks lies" (Prov. 14:25 nkjv). While this verse can be applied to our own personal witness for Christ in rescuing the lost (Acts 1:8), the context is that of a court of law. An accused criminal in Israel could be condemned on the testimony of two or three witnesses; if the case involved a capital crime, the witnesses had to be the first to cast the stones (Deut. 17:6–7). The law forbade the bearing of false witness (Ex. 20:16; 23:2; Deut. 5:20), and anyone found guilty of perjury was given the punishment that the accused would have received (Deut. 19:16–18). If my testimony could save an innocent person from death, and I refused to speak, then my silence would be a terrible sin. "Deliver those who are drawn toward death, and hold back those stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, 'Surely we did not know this,' does not He who weighs the hearts consider it? He who keeps your soul, does He not know it? And will He not render to each man according to his deeds?" (Prov. 24:11–12 nkjv). Whether it's rescuing prisoners from execution or lost sinners from eternal judgment, we can't plead ignorance if we do nothing.
Our words can help restore those who have sinned. "As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient [listening] ear" (Prov. 25:12). It isn't easy to reprove those who are wrong, and we need to do it in a meek and loving spirit (Gal. 6:1); yet it must be done. To flatter those who are disobeying God's Word will only confirm them in their sin and make us their accomplices. "He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue" (28:23 nkjv). "He who keeps instruction is in the way of life, but he who refuses reproof goes astray" (10:17 nkjv).
In Matthew 18:15–20 Jesus explains the procedure for helping restore a sinning brother or sister. First, we must talk to the offender personally and confidentially, trusting God to change the heart. If that fails, we must try again, this time taking witnesses with us. If even that fails, then what was confidential must become public as we share the matter with the church. If the offender fails to hear the church, then he or she must be excluded from the church as though the person were not a believer at all. Of course, during this whole procedure, we must be much in prayer, seeking the Lord's help for ourselves and for those we're trying to help.
Our words can encourage those who are burdened. "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad" (12:25 nkjv). "A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word!" (15:23 niv). When we're walking in the Spirit daily and being taught by the Lord, we'll know how "to speak a word in season to him who is weary" (Isa. 50:4). "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones" (Prov. 16:24 niv).
Our words can instruct the ignorant. "The lips of the wise disperse knowledge" (Prov. 15:7). "The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction" (16:21 niv). While there are many good and helpful things to learn in this brief life that we have on earth, the most important is the wisdom of God found in the Word of God (8:6–8). "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding" (4:7 nkjv). After we acquire wisdom, we must share it with others, for "wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning" (10:13 niv).
The Royal British Navy has a regulation that reads, "No officer shall speak discouragingly to another officer in the discharge of his duties." We need to practice that regulation in our homes and churches! Each of us needs to be a Barnabas, a "son of encouragement" (Acts 4:36–37). Near the close of his ministry, a famous British preacher of the Victorian age said, "If I had my ministry to do over, I would preach more to broken hearts." Jesus came "to heal the brokenhearted" (Luke 4:18), and we can continue that ministry today with words of encouragement and hope.
Whether it's parents teaching their children (Deut. 6:1–13), older women teaching the younger women (Titus 2:3–5), or spiritual leaders in the church teaching the next generation of believers (2 Tim. 2:2), accurate instruction is important to the ongoing of the work of God. Every local church is but one generation short of extinction; if we don't teach the next generation the truth of God, they may not have a church.
3. Speech Can Be Used to Do Evil From Satan's speech to Eve in Genesis 3 to the propaganda of the false prophet in the book of Revelation, the Bible warns us that words can be used to deceive, control, and destroy. It is estimated that the average American is exposed to over fifteen hundred "promotion bites" in the course of a day, some of them subliminal and undetected, but all of them powerful. Whether it's political "double-speak,"7 seductive advertising, or religious propaganda, today's "spin doctors" know how to manipulate people with words.
In spite of all the books and periodicals that are published and all the Christian programs that are broadcast, we're facing today a famine of God's Word (Amos 8:11). People attend church services and special meetings of all kinds, purchase Bibles and books, and listen to Christian radio and TV. But there seems to be little evidence that all this "learning" is making a significant difference in families, churches, and society as a whole. Many professed believers are "spiritually illiterate" when it comes to the basics of the Christian life. We desperately need men who will obey 2 Timothy 2:2 and women who will
But it isn't only some of the professional promoters
Proverbs ter comes from a French word that means "to stroke or caress with the flat of the hand." Flatterers compliment you profusely, appealing to your ego, but their praise is far from sincere. They pat you on the back only to locate a soft spot in which to stick a knife! "A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet" (29:5 nkjv).
who are guilty. There are many ways that you and I can turn words into weapons and damage others.
We hurt others by lying. "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment" (Prov. 12:19 niv). "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but they that deal truly are his delight" (12:22; and see 6:16–17). Solomon warns us against bearing false witness and violating the ninth commandment (Ex. 20:16). (See Prov. 14:5, 25; 19:5, 9, 28; 21:28; 24:28.) When words can't be trusted, then society starts to fall apart. Contracts are useless, promises are vain, the judicial system becomes a farce, and all personal relationships are suspect. "Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow is the man who gives false testimony against his neighbor" (25:18 niv).
"A lying tongue hates those who are crushed by it, and a flattering mouth works ruin" (26:28 nkjv). Satan flattered Eve when he said, "You shall be as God" (Gen. 3:5). In Proverbs, the prostitute seduces her prey by using flattery (Prov. 5:3; 7:5, 21). Some people flatter the rich because they hope to get something from them (14:20; 19:4, 6).
Most of us secretly enjoy flattery and dislike rebuke, yet rebuke does us more good (27:6; 28:23). There is certainly a place for honest appreciation and praise, to the glory of God (1 Thess. 5:12–13), but we must beware of people who give us insincere praise with selfish motives, especially if they begin their flattery first thing in the morning (Prov. 26:24–25). If it weren't for our pride, flattery wouldn't affect us. We privately enjoy hearing somebody agree with what we think of ourselves!
One of the marks of liars is that they enjoy listening to lies. "A wicked man listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue" (17:4 niv). It's a basic rule of life that the ears hear what the heart loves, so beware of people who have an appetite for gossip and lies.
"An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips" (24:26 niv; see 27:6). A kiss is a sign of affection and trust, and God wants His people to "[speak] the truth in love" (Eph. 4:15). It has well been said that love without truth is hypocrisy and truth without love is brutality, and we don't want to be guilty of either sin. The world affirms, "Honesty is the best policy," but as the British prelate Richard Whateley said, "He who acts on that principle is not an honest man." We should be honest because we're honest people in our hearts, walking in the fear of the Lord, and not because we're shrewd bargainers who follow a successful policy.
We hurt others by speaking in anger. "An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins" (29:22 niv). Angry people keep adding fuel to the fire (26:21) instead of trying to find ways to put the fire out. Many people carry anger in their hearts while they outwardly pretend to be at peace with their friends, and they cover their anger with hypocritical words. "Fervent lips with a wicked heart are like earthenware covered with silver dross" (26:23 nkjv). If we're inwardly angry at people, all our profuse professions of friendship are but a thin veneer over common clay. "Speak when you are angry," wrote Ambrose Bierce, "and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
We hurt others by gossiping. "You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people" (Lev. 19:16 nkjv). "Talebearer" is the translation of a Hebrew word that means "to go about," and is probably derived from a word meaning "merchant." The talebearer goes about peddling gossip! "A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter" (Prov. 11:13 nkjv). Gossips flatter people by sharing secrets with them, but to be one of their "customers" is dangerous. "He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips" (20:19 nkjv).
Instead of covering our anger with cheap dross, we should cover others' sins with sincere love. "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins" (10:12 nkjv; 1 Peter 4:8). Love doesn't condone sin or encourage sinners to try to hide their sins from the Lord (Prov. 28:13; 1 John 1:9), but love doesn't tell the sin to others. (See Gen. 9:18–29.) If I'm angry with someone and he sins, I'll be tempted to spread the news as a way of getting even.
The gossip "eats" and enjoys his secrets like you and I eat and enjoy food. "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts" (18:8 niv; see 26:22). People who feed on gossip only crave more, and the only remedy is for them to develop an appetite for God's truth (2:10). We must beware of gossips because they do a great deal of damage. "An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire. A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends" (16:27–28 nkjv; see 17:9). "Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases" (26:20 nkjv).
We hurt others by impetuous speech. "Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him" (Prov. 29:20 nkjv). "He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him" (18:13 nkjv; note v. 17). "The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil" (15:28 nkjv; see 10:19). "Reckless words pierce like a sword" (12:18 niv). But reckless words not only hurt others, they can also hurt us because we utter them. "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles" (21:23 nkjv; see 13:3). This is especially true when we make rash
We hurt others by flattery. The English word flat-