On Choosing a Bride
CHAPTER EIGHT: ON CHOOSING A BRIDE
HERE is another incident from the life of Abraham, which contains a warning and a very helpful instruction to the parents who are in search of a partner for their sons or daughters. Many sad mistakes are done by parents as well as young people, when it comes to the marriage question, and thus we come across many unhappy homes. All their lives they have to repent for the mistake they made.
Abraham gave a solemn warning to his servant, when he put him in charge of finding a wife for his son (Gen. 24:3) " I will make thee to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and earth, that thou shalt not take a wife for my son of the daughters of cannanites among whom I dwell."
This is first warning to believers. You cannot be joined with unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14), and this is the first thing that you need to keep in mind. Many believers' parents do not mind whether the girl or the young man they select is born again or not. They are concerned only with other requirements, such as education, money, color, family and other such things. Abraham gave his servant a very solemn warning against the daughters of Canaanites. He was to be guided step by step by divine wisdom. Abraham knew by experience that his servant was capable and could be trusted to do what was asked of him. (Vs. 2) he was a trustworthy servant. Many depend on uncles and aunts and others to make matches for their children, but you cannot depend upon such people in these things. You have to entrust the responsibility to trust worthy and spiritual people. We see from the scriptures that Abraham's servant depended on God for every detail. He did not set about this business by going to this person that person in this matter. (Vs. 12). He applied a big test to make sure God's will. If he had depended on his human wisdom he would have first made that the girl belonged to a suitable family. As Abraham was very wealthy, the servant might have been governed by worldly considerations of an equally wealthy family. But he did not have any such considerations in his mind. He thought only of God's will in this matter, and prayed with great faith, which goes to prove that he was a man of prayer and very spiritual. He knew how to make sure of God's will. He was not governed by his own judgment and feelings. Many parents go in for wealthy matches and make a muddle of whole thing, but Eliezer was not governed by considerations of wealth, or color or education. He did not say to himself, " This is the girl" every time he saw a pretty girl, but instead he put a very big test to the Lord. (Vs. 13, 14). " Behold I stand at the well of water…and let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say: Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink, and she shall say: Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also; let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac." The servant had ten camels with him. Camels drink five large pots of water each, and the girl had to undertake to draw water for ten camels. What a big task! Only God could make such a test a success. Now we can see the divine wisdom given to Eliezer. A girl who could draw water for ten camels would have to be a girl with a large and willing and tender heart. Eliezer was in search of a girl who was both humble and willing. Being a spiritual man he was looking for spiritual girl. Rebecca was such a girl. When her parents wanted her to stay for long time with them before going to Abraham's house, she refused and was willing to go with servant immediately. (Vs.
58) When she knew from him how the Lord had lead him step by step, she knew that she was the God's choice for Isaac, so she went with Eliezer without questioning. Usually girls weep on their marriage day and also when they have to leave their home. But Rebecca did not weep.
Rebecca was a spiritual woman. When the children struggled in her womb she inquired of the Lord. (Gen. 25: 22) She knew how to find God's will. These things show that God gave divine wisdom to Eliezer to make the proper choice. If you want to find a partner for your daughter, your son, or yourself, please ask for divine wisdom, grace and help. Apply every test to know God's will, and don't be governed by your feelings or wisdom or judgment.
In Genesis 24:63 we read that Isaac went out to meditate or pray, in the field. While Eliezer was looking for a bride for him, Isaac was praying about the matter in the field. He must have been praying, ' O Lord, guide Eliezer so that he is able to make the right choice for me." Abraham prayed, Eliezer prayed and Isaac prayed, and this is how they found God's will. Let this be your example. Do not make mistakes in this matter, for the question of choosing a right partner is very important and big matter. Many believing parents as well as the young people themselves make mistakes in this, and, when it is too late, they suffer. Look around at the unhappy homes and take warning.