Chapter V
What the conversation of a believer ought to be in performing the part of a
friend towards God. That we should keep up an entire and near com munion with him. Wliat this communion is, explained in several
particulars.
I come to that main and principally intended subject, which is, the con
versation of a Christian towards God, in performing the part of a friend.
I shall insist on some particulars wherein these returns of friendship do
consist.
1. The first and primary head (which will contain divers particulars in
it) is pursuing after, and preserving entire communion with, God. Mutual communion is the soul of all true friendship ; and a familiar converse with
a friend hath the greatest sweetness in it. Sometimes Solomon compares
it to honey, which as it is pleasant to the taste, so enlighteneth the eyes, Prov. xxv. 16, 17 compared, reading, as Cartwright* doth, for neighbour
friend, ver. 17. Sometimes it is compared to perfumes and odours,, which refresh the brain and animal spirits
* Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart ; so doth the sweetness of a man s friend.
* Prov. xxvii. 9,
* Cartwright in loc.
198 OF GOSPEL HOLINESS [BOOK II.
And he calleth it sweetness in the abstract rather than sweet ; for it is
certain, where it is found close and entire, it is the most spiritual cordial of man s life. And indeed communion is that which distinguished this of
friendship from the intercourses that are in other relations, unless it falls out that friendship be intermingled with them, as in conjugal it often doth. Parents take care for and love their children when young, and they again do honour their parents and obey them, when yet during their non-age there is not much communion nor acquaintance between them. Between masters and servants there is an intercourse by way of command and obedience. Masters maintain their servants, and servants render fear and service to their masters ; but yet there is not a mutual communion and acquaintance between them. And by this doth Christ distinguish friends and servants, when he sets himself to heighten the privilege of this rela
tion, and to endear it to them : John xv. 15, Henceforth I call you not servants, but friends. For I have unbosomed myself unto you ; whatever I
J have heard of my Father I have made known unto you, but the servant knoweth not what his lord doth ; that is, there is no communion between them.
Now, although God beareth all these relations, of father, lord, master, &c., which his distance between him and us exacts, yet he also hath con descended to admit us to communion with himself. John seems to speak of it as with an holy boasting of the eminent privilege which himself and others, that lived up to their principles, enjoyed : 1 John i. 3, And truly our fellowship is with the Father, and the Son. The rise of it lies thus, Christ was God s fellow, Zech. xiii. 7, which privilege he hath by being a Son equal with God. And God found this fellowship so sweet, as he calls us up to the participation of it : 1 Cor. i. 9,
* God is faithful, by whom ye are called unto the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. He speaks of it likewise as that which is the height and top of our calling as we are Christians. And this fellowship with the Lord Jesus doth not only consist in his and our sharing jointly in the same privileges, as in his
graces, glory, &c., but it is the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ; and so also of his person, in all the sweetnesses of, and converses with, and rela tions to him. And yet, lest in too much familiarity we should forget our distance, he adds, our Lord! as in the psalm fore-cited upon the like occasion, having called us his fellows, ver. 7, he adds, ver. 11, He is the Lord, and worship thou him. Now, this communion, as on our part it is to be transacted, is summed up in these things
: 1. Besides the common tribute of daily worship you owe to him, take occasion to come into his presence on purpose to have communion with him. This is truly friendly, for friendship is most maintained and kept up by visits ; and these, the more free and the less occasioned by urgent business, or solemnity, or custom they are, the more friendly they are. It is made a diminution, though in his own people
: Lord, in trouble have they visited thee ; they poured out a prayer when thy chastening was upon them, Isa. xxvi. 16. A stranger will visit one whom he hath a suit unto and business with ; and we use to check our friends with this upbraiding, You still come when you have some business, but when will you come to see me ? David, who hath this testimony from God, to be a man after God s own heart, which is equivalent to this of God s con cerning Abraham s being his friend, hath this disposition of spirit recorded of him, Ps. Ixiii. 1-3, God, thou art my God ; he embraceth him at
first word, as we use to do friends at first meeting. Early will I seek
CHAP. V.] IN THE HEART AND LIFE. 199
thee, says he: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh (that is, myself) longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is. Surely David had some extraordinary business now with God to be done for him
self, which made him thus eager after him ; no, truly, nothing but to see God himself; as it follows, ver. 2, To see thy power and thy glory, so
as I have seen thee in thy sanctuary, where God had met him, and mani
* To see thee, hath the same emphasis here that
fested himself to him.
those words, against thee I have sinned, have elsewhere. And further, what was it in God that specially drew forth his heart, and was the object of his inquest ? Ver. 3, Because thy loving-kindness is better than life ; and ver. 4, thus (if I have no other reason) will I bless thee whilst I live.
It is all along the pure language of friendship. The very sight of a friend
rejoiceth a man : Prov. xxvii. 17, As iron sharpeneth iron, so doth a man
the face of his friend. It alone whets up joy by a sympathy of spirits ; and in answer hereunto it is characteristically to God s people called the
seeking of God s face, that is, himself, for so his face is taken : Thou
shalt have no other gods before my face, that is, thou shalt have myself, or none but myself. Personal communion with God is the end of our
graces ; for as reason and the intercourse of it makes men sociable one with another, so the divine nature makes us sociable with God himself; and the faith we live by is but an engine, a glass to bring God down to us. And as for duties, the journey s end of them is fellowship with God ; and our backwardness to them, if you resolve it into its original, is a back wardness to entire communion with God ; the soul therefore saith it hath no pleasure in them. But this communion was the apostles Eden and
proper walk. John calls us all up unto it, as that which we are alike born to, 1 John i. 3. It was Moses his perfection as he was Christ s type
: Exod. xxxiii. 11, And the Lord spake to Moses face to face, as a man useth to do to his friend. You see the Scripture lodgeth this in the
notion of friendship ; therefore attempt, if thou hast not yet tried, this way of seeking God. I have known those who have come to God as for
nothing else ; so when they have been come, could mention nothing else, but scorned to blur or soil the noble and royal intention of their visit of him with any lower request than that of obtaining communion with him. And take my counsel, when the Spirit at some by-time moves thee, and it
is merely a motion of his, go and stand in the presence-chamber ; that is,
put thyself on duty with this aim and design mentioned, and see if he hold not out his golden sceptre to thee. This shall prevail with him more than
the sacrifice of rams.
(2.) A second way of intercourse and expressing friendship to God is this : when thou comest into his presence, be telling him still how well thou
lovest him ; labour to abound in expressions of that kind, than which
(when founded in a reality in the Spirit) there is nothing more taking with
the heart of any friend. That famous pair of friends, David and Jonathan, when they met they spent the most of their time (they had got by stealth,
and with hazard of their lives) in vying and revying, and therein seeking which of them should utter and declare most love and manifest most
faithfulness. They weep over one another s necks, as overcome with the
overflowings of each other s kindness. The story affords the pleasantest contention of love and friendship, and strivings for masteries ; and accord
ingly, as to the passionate part, the victory is decided on David s side, 1 Sam. xx. 41. They both wept one with another, until David exceeded,
says the text. And yet again, for the real part and demonstration of
OF GOSPEL HOLINESS [BOOK II.
friendship, Jonathan had the advantage to outvie David. Jonathan had a kingdom to lose for his sake, being heir-apparent by birth ; yet he ventures his own life to save his, who he believed should be king in his room : And let me but live, saith he, and not die, ver. 14. And let me be the next in the kingdom, chap, xxiii. 17. But David had another and greater friend, even God ; and how his affections overflowed the banks towards him, the Psalms do shew. How often have we him breaking forth, I love thee, Lord ! and
< Oh how do I love thy law ! And how eloquent is he in that his solemn and his almost last thanksgiving, 1 Chron. xxix. Now, the truth is, the real part is God s; the fond, affectionate part of friendship, it should be ours. He had a Son to give away, and his Son a life, a kingdom ; and both of them agreed to do it. We have little to lose, and can do less for them : Oh yet let us love them, and love to tell them so ! Hast thou ever yet lain in those everlasting arms ? Or when thou at any time dost, and his banner of love is spread over thee, what hath thy heart meditated concerning God at such a time ? As a liberal heart is said to devise liberal things, so a loving heart will devise loving things. I use to say, whatever ingenuity, wit, rhetoric any one hath (and I speak of those that excel therein), there are times wherein God hath the flower, the eminency of them, vented in strains of love to him in prayer. He hath at one time or other every man s strength and prime. What affections or expressions thou hast to bestow on friend or wife, God will have them from thee to himself ; and if thy spirit be narrow, and shut up to such a way, yet thou wilt and mayest be able to vent that love thou bearest him in blunt and downright expressions
: Lord, said Peter, thou knowest 1 love thee, if I ever loved anything. Yea, I have known some bad and churlish natures to their other relations, in whose spirits, upon observation of them, you should scarce find any strains of pure ingenuity pass from them to any other ; yet in their narrations of what hath been between God and them, they have been brought to the lowest submission, the highest^ resignations of themselves for him and his glory, and as great strains of ingenuity as any other. As physicians say of a child in the womb, if there be any good blood or spirits in the mother s body, the child will have it ; the nutritive and formative virtue doth and will attract it. So if there be any good nature in thee, God will have it at one time or other. Yea, how often falls it out, that even souls that want assurance of God s
love^to themselves, yet can please themselves in blessing God, or at least admiring him for that goodness and blessedness which is in him, and which he enjoys for loving himself, and aiming at his own glory
: for his so dearly loving his Son (whom also their souls love), and for his being good to others ! And they find it real in their souls to do so. Yea, and sometimes when they come to pray, and are shut up for want of vent in other desires, they yet can fall a-telling God how well they love him, and what (if he would be pleased to enable them) they would do for him ; and they can do these things when they can do nothing else. Yea, and because in real performances they find they can do little, and are not satisfied with the opportunities they have in view at present, the heart will be venting itself in suppositions and
feignings with itself, what in case of God s condemning them at the latter day ; so that, should they lose their labour, they would say, in way of
ingenuity, what farewell they would then take of him ; how they would demean themselves in hell, when their souls should be filled with the noise of others blasphemies ; how they would speak well of him, and rebuke their
fellow-thieves, as that good thief did. And because in suppositions higher
CHAP. V.] IN THE HEART AND LIFE. 201
strains of love may be vented than God will ever put us really to act, there
fore the heart often seeks vent for its vast desires this way.
Thus Christ, to shew his love to his Father, in submitting to his will and
love, made a supposition of the cup s passing from him, which yet he knew could not by God s decree. And thus Paul wished himself accursed from
Christ for his brethren s sake. Or else the heart will go about to do it, by
separating acts of obedience from self-respects ; and this in a way of suppo sition of such things as will not fall out. But yet, suppose they should,
* though he kill me, yet will I trust in him. It was a supposition of the worst. Or else the heart
yet, Lord, say they, I will trust thee. As Job,
will be chalking out within itself, what it would do for God if it were in such a power, in such a place of opportunity of service, as Herbert in his poems speaks. At these, and a thousand other ways, love will be creeping out when it cannot go, nor, alas, is ever able to perform. And these stirrings and ventings of love, God is infinitely taken with, and knows the mind of the spirit in them. These strains are pleasant
: this is melody and music
in his ears. Know this, that communion with God lies not only [AS.T dXX^Xwv, as John speaks of it, 1 John i. 7 (as I understand the place), when
it is mutual, he telling us his love, and so drawing forth ours, when there
is an cestus, a reciprocation of love from him to us, and so from us again to him ; but also, when he doth not shed abroad his in our hearts, to an
overcoming assurance, and yet strongly draws forth ours to him, as hath been expressed ; and that is true communion with him as on our parts, and
affects the soul accordingly. For though it be true that we love him because he loves us, as to the reality of the thing, yet it is not always so
in our apprehension, nor necessary to the drawing forth of our love to him.
(3.) Delight much in him. Friendship well placed affords the highest
delight. Besides what I noted out of Solomon, of the sweetness of a friend, David, the father, also had experimented it, 2 Sam. i. 20, in his beloved Jonathan : Thou hast been very pleasant to me, says he there. Arid
again of Jonathan it is said, he delighted much in David, 1 Sam. xix. 2.
If, therefore, God and thou be friends, retire thyself into him, and make up thy delights in him. And thus both Christ and his church do mutually express themselves touching each other : Oh how fair and pleasant art thou,
love, for delights, Cant. vii. 6, says he of her ; Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant, says she of him, Cant. i. 16. Ps. xxxvii. 4 :
Delight thyself also in the Lord. Yea, and the psalmist prescribes it as the readiest, speediest way to get despatch of all our particular suits and
requests : so it follows, And he shall give thee the desires of thy heart. As it is said of God, that to the pure he will shew himself pure, Ps. xviii.
26, so to the ingenuous he will shew himself ingenuous. A soul that hath many wants and requests to put up to him, and yet comes to him and
really says, Lord, though I want these and these things in my outward
condition, yet I am well pleased, for I have enough in thee alone ; though 1 had nothing, and though thou hast made me these and these promises, besides the making over of thyself unto me, yet thou art my portion, mine
inheritance, and my lot is fallen in a pleasant place in thee, Ps. xvi. 6 ; thou art my exceeding great reward. Whilst God sees that thou thus
settest thyself to delight in him, he at once grants thee all else thou wouldst
desire. This is the most compendious art of begging. Be acquainted with
him, saith Eliphaz to Job, Job xxii. 21, and thou shalt have thy delight in the Almighty, ver. 26 ; and thou shalt have gold, ver. 24 ; and thou
shalt have silver, ver. 25. Thou shalt have anything of him, take but that
202 OF GOSPEL HOLINESS [BOOK II.
method. Art thou in any great distress ? Go alone, think of his love, think of himself, what a God thou hast whom thou servest and lovest. His
love, and himself apprehended, embraced and meditated on, affords the
* My meditation of him shall be sweet, I will be glad in the Lord. Life we say is sweet, and death is bitter (as Agag s
: Ps. civ. 84,
greatest delight
* the bitterness of death is past ) ; but thy loving-kindness, God, is better than life, and hath the sweetness of all good in it, if the
speech implies,
Holy Ghost gives thee but a taste of it. Christ s love was such as sweet ened death itself to him, which we account so bitter : It was stronger than
death (says Solomon), Cant. viii. 6. How sweet then must that love in
itself be, and to the soul that tastes it ? Therefore Rejoice in the Lord ; and again I say, Rejoice. Let God be your chiefest good in the most
prosperous days, and he will be your only good in your worst days. A
friend is for adversity ; and therefore, though the fig-tree blossom not,
&c., and all things fail me, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation, Hab. iii. 17, 18. What is the reason men pray not
often, nor much, and in the end perhaps do give it over? You have the reason : Job xxvii. 10, They delight not in the Almighty. But yet con
* They take
tent not thyself with the performance of duties : Isa. Iviii. 2,
delight in approaching to God ; that is, in the outward performance of it ; but let thy delight be in God himself. We rejoice in God, saith the apostle, Rom. v. 11. And let not delights derived from God only content thee ; but let thy delight be in God, and the excellencies that are in him.
(4.) A fourth particular wherein the communion of friendship lies, is
unfolding secrets. There is a kind of civil shrift between friends, saith Yerulam ; the style of friend is a
* man of my secret, Job xix. 19. That which is translated my inward friends, is in the Hebrew, and varied in the margin, the men of my secret. A friend is
* as a man s own soul, Deut. xiii. 6. As in respect of love, so in respect of laying up all that is
in a friend s soul, all that is one s own. And this use and advantage, or
improvement, a man is to make of his friendship with God, to unburden
his mind, and spread his heart before him. In Scripture, prayer is termed a pouring out one s soul to God. So it is spoken of Hannah s prayer, 1 Sam. i. 15, which is interpreted by that in Lam. ii. 19, a pouring out
the soul like water, before the face of the Lord. She had, as it were, wept
it out at her eyes, and poured it forth in tears. The same is eminent also
in David : Ps. cxlii. 2, I poured out my complaint before him ; that is, as it follows,
* I shewed before him my trouble. And this is done in case
of distress, when the heart is overwhelmed, as in ver. 3. And in the
very same words, the title of the 102d Psalm expresseth it, A prayer of
the afflicted, when he is overwhelmed, and poureth out his complaint before the Lord. If thou hast some great affliction or secret, which is not fit to
trust man, no, not thy nearest friend with, and yet thy heart is ready to break with it, the heart, in that case, is apt to tell it to man, that it may have some present ease. But take my counsel, try God alone first, and
hereby shew how only a friend thou makest of him, by telling it alone to
him, easing thy heart to him alone. He thinks himself honoured by it, and takes it well at thy hands ; and if he encourageth thee, or necessitates
thee to tell it to another (as in some cases, James v. 16), then do so. As
for distresses thou art in, so for thy sin ; the more communion there is
betwixt God and us, the more secret sins will God discover to us, and the more will we again disclose to God. This is made an absolute consequence of holding fellowship with God ; for the apostle having spoken of fellowship
CHAP. VI.] IN THE HEART AND LIFE. 203
with God, 1 John i. 3, 6, 7, he adds, ver. 9, If we confess our sins, he
is faithful and just to forgive. He speaks it, as without which none can
preserve communion with God entire ; for whilst we labour to walk in
nearer, so closer communion with God, yet if we say we have no sin, we
deceive ourselves, ver. 8. Now then, here lies the coherence of the 9th verse with the former, confess your sin, if you say you have fellowship with him ; for the law and nature of true and entire communion and fellowship between two as friends requires, that if the one sins against the other, he should disclose and confess it ; this friendship cannot hold else, and it is
well we can have pardon so. Now, says John, we do all sin ; therefore, in
order to hold communion with God, confess thy sins. And a further reason
is, that one great part of God s friendship towards us is seen in pardoning sins. John hints it, he is faithful to forgive, as a friend is faithful to per form his promise. And if he should not, none could retain friendship a moment with him ; but if he pardons, he will have the score acknowledged ; even as though he promiseth, he yet will be sought to, as the prophet speaks. And the more the soul finds that God pardons, the more willing and free it is to confess, Ezek. xvi. 61-63, knowing it is to a friend that
will not take advantage of the acknowledgment. Likewise lay open all thy jealousies thou hast of his love ; another friend would never bear it; but, alas ! God knows them all already, and is used to them, and will ease thee of them. Tell him all thy doubts, scruples, and objections thou hast about
thy estate and of his love ; spread even all, lay open thy case plainly, without guile (as David speaks, Ps. xxxii.), and he will answer them all, and discover to thee that sincerity of heart that is in thee towards him, and how well he loves thee notwithstanding ; and this other friends will not do.