8. A Forgiving Life
8
A Forgiving Life
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ also forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
After our first parents disobeyed God (Gen. 3), they tried to cover their sin and shame and escape divine judgment, but everything they attempted failed. They made clothing out of leaves but still felt guilty. They tried to hide among the trees but the Lord found them and confronted them with their sin. They tried to put the blame on others but the Lord knew the truth. People still use these evasive devices today to solve the sin problem, but as in Adam’s day, they only make matters worse. It was not until God shed the blood of innocent animals and clothed the man and his wife with skins that they were forgiven and their fellowship with God was restored. This, of course, is a picture of what Jesus did for us on the cross. He told His disciples, “For this is My blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins” (Matt. 26:28). “The blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). “But You are a God, ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, abundant in kindness” (Neh. 9:17). He is the God who forgives.
The Lord Forgives Sinful Men
During His earthly ministry, Jesus not only healed broken bodies but also cleansed sinful hearts. Let’s consider three such occasions.
A Helpless Paralytic (Matt. 9:1–8)
The four friends could not bring the helpless man into the crowded house through the door, so they made an opening in the roof and lowered him down before the Master. However, Jesus did not begin with the man’s paralyzed body but rather with his sinful heart: “Son, be of good cheer; your sins are forgiven you” (v. 2). Did the man’s sins have something to do with his physical condition? We don’t know. But our Lord’s statement greatly offended the critical religious leaders present, for in speaking it Jesus was claiming to be God. Of course it is easier to say “Your sins are forgiven you,” because nobody can watch a spiritual transaction like that take place. How can you prove it happened? But Jesus was using the situation for an “action sermon.” The paralyzed man was a picture of the lost sinner, unable to heal himself and totally at the mercy of God. Jesus healed both soul and body, and the physical healing demonstrated the reality of the spiritual healing.
Jesus does have the authority both to forgive sins and to heal bodies. I have visited many sick and handicapped people who would have welcomed healing but who had no interest in receiving Jesus as Lord and Savior. Apparently Jesus saw that the paralyzed man had faith. Physical healing lasts but a short time, while salvation is a gift for eternity. When we call upon Him, Jesus forgives sins and grants eternal life, for “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved” (Acts 2:21).
Some Heedless People
As the Roman soldiers were nailing Jesus to the cross, He repeatedly prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). The soldiers, of course, were only routinely obeying orders, but the Jewish officials who engineered our Lord’s death were sinning against a flood of light. They knew the prophets, they had seen the miracles, and they had heard our Lord’s messages, yet they rejected Him and asked to have Him killed. Jesus prayed that the Father would grant forgiveness to the ignorant Roman soldiers and also the arrogant religious leaders. This does not mean they were automatically saved and went to heaven, but that the Father would hold back the judgment they deserved and give them opportunity to be saved. In Old Testament days a man who merely touched the ark of God was instantly slain by the Lord (2 Sam. 6:1–7), yet here were men nailing the Son of God to a cross! Ignorance is no excuse in the sight of the law. The Jewish religious leaders and the Roman authorities were ignorant and guilty, but God in His grace held back the judgment. He gave Jerusalem about forty years of grace before the Roman army came and destroyed it. During that period of grace, thousands of people became Christians in Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria, including a great many priests (Acts 6:7). Jesus had “made intercession for the transgressors” (Isa. 53:12) and the Father heard and answered. Jesus forgave His enemies and is a good example for us to follow. When the Jews stoned Stephen to death, he prayed, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin” (Acts 7:60). God can give us the grace to forgive and forget so we can become more like Jesus.
A Helpless Criminal (Luke 23:38–43)
God in His providence arranged for the cross of Jesus to stand between the crosses on which the two criminals were hanging. Both could hear Him speak and both could read the inscription that Pilate had written and put over His head: “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews.” One of the thieves seemed angry and defiant, but the other one realized that Jesus was not a criminal but a king, and turned to Him for help. The man admitted his own guilt and believed that Jesus could give him entrance into His kingdom. Jesus heard his prayer and gave him his request. The criminal didn’t know when Jesus would ascend the throne, but our Lord said it would be that very day! Jesus gave up His life before the other men died and therefore was able to welcome the helpless thief to paradise. The first Adam became a thief and was cast out of paradise, but the Last Adam died for a thief and took him to paradise!
People assume that this was the last opportunity the thieves had to believe in Jesus, but it’s possible that this was their first opportunity. The one thief did not waste his opportunity but by faith turned to Jesus for salvation. It’s very dangerous for unsaved people to assume they have plenty of time to trust Jesus and be saved, for we never know when life will end. Scripture does not tell us what the other thief did. We trust that he too was saved.
The Lord Forgives Sinful Women
We have interesting accounts of our Lord’s ministry to three “sinful women” who trusted the Savior and experienced new beginnings.
A Contrite Woman (Luke 7:36–50)
Why Simon the Pharisee invited Jesus to dine with him and then failed to honor Him as a guest is a puzzle to us. Was it an attempt to humiliate Him? If so, just think of how humiliated Simon must have been when “the woman who was a sinner” came into the room and began to do for Jesus everything that Simon had not done! The woman was guilty of sins of the flesh, but Simon was guilty of sins of the spirit: pride, criticism of the woman and of Jesus, and lack of love. Simon neglected to show common courtesy to Jesus, while the woman poured out her love on the Savior openly and without shame. Jesus was called “a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (v. 34) and the title did not embarrass Him. If you consult a harmony of the Gospels, you will find that this event followed our Lord’s public invitation recorded in Matthew 11:28–30, “Come unto me . . . and I will give you rest.” The woman heard that invitation, believed in Jesus and was forgiven, and brought her devotion to Him. “Your sins are forgiven,” Jesus told her. “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace” (Luke 7:48, 50). By faith, she received the gift of forgiveness that brought salvation and peace to her heart.
A Cautious Woman (John 4:1–42)
Jesus was in Samaria with His disciples and met this woman at Jacob’s well while the Twelve went to buy food. It was unusual for a Jewish rabbi to converse with a woman in public, especially a woman of her reputation and a Samaritan at that. To open a conversation, Jesus asked her for a drink of water. This startled her, for “the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans” (v. 9). But it gave Jesus opportunity to introduce her to the living water of eternal life. As you read the conversation between the woman and Jesus, note how cautious she is in her questions and her answers. In her mind she was probably saying, This man is different and I wonder what He’s really up to. She grew in her knowledge of Jesus, from “a Jew” (v. 9) to “greater than Jacob” (v. 12) to “a prophet” (v. 19) to “the Christ” (v. 29). When Jesus asked about her husband, she cautiously denied having a husband, but Jesus knew the truth and told her so. She trusted the Savior and went immediately into the city where she told the men she had met the Messiah. Jesus remained with them for two days and many were saved. Could Jesus save a woman who had been divorced four times, remarried three times, and was at that time attached to a “live-in” mate? Of course He can—and He did! And He is still saving sinners, for He is the Savior who seeks and saves the lost.
A Condemned Woman (John 8:1–12)
Everything about this event disturbs me, except for the salvation of this anonymous woman. It’s obvious that the whole thing was a plot to trap our Lord. Where was the man who was involved in this act of adultery? Obviously he was paid to lure the woman into sin and then he deserted her. It’s incredible that religious leaders conceived this plot and brought the woman into the temple where they confronted Jesus. They interrupted His message as they placed the woman in the midst of the listening crowd. Why did Jesus write with His finger on the ground? What did He write? Did He write the law of Moses that had originally been written on stone tablets by the finger of God (Exod. 31:18)? Perhaps Jesus was reminding these scholars of Jeremiah 17:13, a word of warning from the Lord: “Those who depart from Me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the LORD, the fountain of living waters.” The religious leaders who opposed Jesus had departed from the truth and forsaken the Lord, yet here they were trying to trap Jesus and have this woman stoned. Jesus didn’t preach a sermon or do a miracle. All He said was, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first” (John 8:7). Stabbed by their own conscience, the accusers left the temple one by one. Lovingly, Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more” (v. 11). “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1).
The Lord Forgives Believers Who Have Sinned
God’s children are not sinless, but they do sin less and less as they grow in the Lord and walk in the Spirit. As our heavenly High Priest, Jesus can give us the grace we need to overcome temptation (Heb. 4:14–16). But if we fail to trust Him and deliberately sin, He is our Advocate with the Father. If we confess our sins, He will forgive us and restore us to fellowship with the Father (1 John 1:9–2:2). We have already considered God’s dealing with David’s sins. Now let’s consider three of God’s champions who disobeyed the Lord but found forgiveness.
Abraham Flees to Egypt (Gen. 12:10–13:1)
Abraham is the great biblical example of a man of faith (Rom. 4; Heb. 11:8–19). By faith he and his wife left their home in Ur of the Chaldees and went to Canaan, the land God gave them. No sooner did they arrive than they discovered a famine in the land. Why would God lead them into that kind of a situation? One reason was to test them so they would learn to walk by faith and not by sight. God knew their hearts but they didn’t know their own hearts, and a faith that can’t be tested can’t be trusted. Early in their faith journey with the Lord, they had to discover that times of testing can become times of blessing.
At this point we must notice that most leaders in Scripture failed in their strong points, not their weak points. Abraham the man of faith failed to trust God and fled to Egypt. Moses the meek man (Num. 12:3) lost his temper and struck the rock, and David the man of integrity got caught in a web of disobedience and deception. Peter was a courageous man who wilted before a servant girl and denied the Lord. Paul wrote, “For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10). The safest place in the world is in the will of God, no matter what the circumstances around us may be.
When Abraham arrived in famine-stricken Canaan, he should have said, “The Lord brought us here and He will care for us.” Then he should have built his altar and worshiped the Lord, and pitched his tents as witnesses that he was a stranger and pilgrim in the land. Instead he headed for Egypt, where he lied to the king and almost lost his wife. The fulfillment of the Messianic prophecy was at stake! Abraham’s taking Lot to Egypt ruined Lot’s walk of faith and he began to measure everything by what he had seen in Egypt (Gen. 13:10). As a result, Lot eventually lost everything.
The people of Israel were prone to follow Abraham’s bad example, just as some Christians do today. Whenever there was trouble during their wilderness journey, the Israelites wanted to go back to Egypt. Whether they were hungry or thirsty or being attacked by enemies, their first response was to look back to Egypt and not look up to the Lord. They would rather be in bondage and have security than be set free and trust the Lord. Centuries later the prophet Isaiah had to warn their descendants, “Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help” (Isa. 31:1).
Abraham lost his testimony and got into serious trouble in Egypt because of his lies and unbelief. After all, God blesses faith and truth and not our clever schemes. The Lord protected Sarah, rescued her and her husband, and took them back to the Promised Land where they belonged. How gracious He is to His people!
Moses Smites the Rock (Num. 20:1–13)
Shortly after the nation of Israel marched out of Egypt, Moses provided fresh water for them by speaking to the rock (Exod. 17:1–7). After their rebellion at Kadesh, they began to complain again and this upset Moses; the Lord told him to speak to the rock and water would come forth. But Moses was angry and called the people “rebels,” and with Aaron took the credit for supplying the water. In his anger he smote the rock instead of speaking to it. The Lord graciously provided the water but at the same time chastened Moses and would not permit him to enter the land of Canaan. Like Jonah outside the city of Nineveh (Jon. 4), it’s possible to be a blessing to others and yet miss the blessing yourself. Those who serve the Lord must beware of excusing a temper tantrum and calling it “righteous indignation.” One evening at a conference, I listened to a preacher give vent to his anger, and though his exposition had merit, his bitter attitude created a sterile atmosphere of growing discomfort. God in His love chastened Moses but centuries later allowed him to enter the land on the Mount of Transfiguration (Matt. 17:1–8)! “But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more” (Rom. 5:20).
Peter Denies the Lord Three Times (Luke 22:31–34, 54–62)
If Abraham was overcome by the world (Egypt) and Moses by the flesh (temper), then Peter was attacked by the devil. Jesus warned Peter that Satan was plotting against him and his fellow disciples, but Peter’s self-confidence was not shaken (Luke 22:31–34). We think we know our own hearts, but we don’t (Jer. 17:9), and when we feel the strongest, we are usually the weakest. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Cor. 10:12). When you trace Peter’s steps from the upper room to his shameful denials in the courtyard, you discover some of the traps that Satan sets to catch his prey. Peter was boasting when he should have been listening, sleeping when he should have been watching and praying, attacking when he should have been submitting, and following when he should have gone away. “Let these go their way” (John 18:8) was the Lord’s signal to the men to get out quickly and not follow Him. Had Peter obeyed, he could have saved himself from temptation, sin, and sorrow. But after the resurrection, the Lord met Peter privately and restored his fellowship (1 Cor. 15:5); and then He met with him publicly and restored his discipleship (John 21:15–25). “Follow Me” was our Lord’s announcement that all was well again. The Lord forgave Peter, filled him with the Holy Spirit, and used him to win thousands of people to faith in Jesus Christ. The enemy accusing us wants us to believe that our sins permanently disqualify us from serving the Lord, but 1 John 1:9 shuts his mouth.
The Lord Wants Us to Forgive Others
One of the best ways to prove our faith in Christ is to forgive others when they sin and to help restore them to fellowship with the Lord and His people. If we don’t forgive, we will end up needing forgiveness ourselves! “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (Gal. 6:1). Private sins must be dealt with privately, public sins publicly, and all things must be done lovingly. Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive people their sins against him, and Jesus told him not to count the times at all (Matt. 18:21–35). By the time we have forgiven somebody 490 times, we will be in the habit of forgiveness! I use the Lord’s Prayer in my daily devotional time and when I pray the fifth petition, I add, “Father, please give me a forgiving spirit today.” An unforgiving spirit is a beachhead the devil can easily turn into a battleground, whether it’s a careless driver, a slow elevator, a noisy child in church, or a meddling neighbor. (We once had neighbors across the street who sat on their front porch with binoculars, scanning the neighborhood. We kept our front blinds closed.)
Unforgiving believers grieve the Lord and rob themselves of blessing. I knew a church officer who actually kept in his pocket a notebook with the names of the people who had offended him or disagreed with him. He should have settled those matters immediately and enjoyed freedom, but he seemed to have overlooked 1 Corinthians 13:5, “[love] keeps no record of wrongs” (TNIV). Paul’s logic in Ephesians 4:32 is so clear that we can’t argue with it: since the Lord has graciously forgiven us, we should graciously forgive others. “Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Col. 3:13). An unforgiving spirit hinders our praying (Matt. 5:21–26; 6:5–15; 1 Pet. 3:7) and gives the devil opportunity to attack (2 Cor. 2:6–11). We must forgive our enemies and seek to make them friends and fellow believers (Matt. 5:43–48; Rom. 12:17–21).
Forgiveness means freedom, an unforgiving spirit means bondage, and we make the decision between the two. If we choose to carry grudges and be vindictive, we are trying to “play God” and failing to love others as we should. First we must forgive in our hearts, and then we must seek to forgive personally and make matters right. Matthew 18:15–20 tells us the steps to follow.