Lesson 11: Right Relationships (ROMANS 12:1—13:14)
Lesson 11
Right Relationships
(ROMANS 12:1—13:14)
Before you begin …
• Pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal truth and wisdom as you go through this lesson.
• Read Romans 12:1—13:14. This lesson references chapter 11 in Be Right. It will be helpful for you to have your Bible and a copy of the commentary available as you work through this lesson.
Getting Started
From the Commentary
In all of his letters, Paul concluded with a list of practical duties that were based on the doctrines he had discussed. In the Christian life, doctrine and duty always go together. What we believe helps to determine how we behave. It is not enough for us to understand Paul’s doctrinal explanations. We must translate our learning into living and show by our daily lives that we trust God’s Word.
—Be Right, page 147
1. How do “doctrine and duty” work together according to this section of Romans? How do you translate learning into living? What are some examples of this from your own life?
More to Consider: The key idea in this passage is “relationships.” How does having a right relationship with God impact the way we relate to other people? What are some of the most important aspects of a “right relationship with God”?
2. Choose one verse or phrase from Romans 12:1—13:14 that stands out to you. This could be something you’re intrigued by, something that makes you uncomfortable, something that puzzles you, something that resonates with you, or just something you want to examine further. Write that here. What strikes you about this verse?
Going Deeper
From the Commentary
Before we trusted Christ, we used our bodies for sinful pleasures and purposes, but now that we belong to Him, we want to use our bodies for His glory.
—Be Right, page 148
3. What are the “sinful pleasures and purposes” people seek apart from a relationship with God? Does the desire for those things change after we become Christians? Explain. What does it mean to offer your body to God as a “living sacrifice”?
From the Commentary
We surrender our wills to God through disciplined prayer. As we spend time in prayer, we surrender our will to God and pray, with the Lord, “Not my will, but thy will be done.” We must pray about everything, and let God have His way in everything.
—Be Right, page 149
4. How does prayer help in the process of renewing your mind (as Paul writes about in 12:2)? Go through Romans 12 and 13 and underline everything that requires the “surrendering of our wills to God.” Now review what you’ve underlined. What does this tell you about letting God have His way?
From Today’s World
The pressures of the world weigh down on all of us daily. There is the pressure to perform, the pressure to succeed, the pressure to look your best, the pressure to have the best of everything. Take a closer look at how these pressures present themselves in the lives of Christians. Do they come from work? From family? From the media? They all have one common theme: The pressure is exerted from the outside in.
5. How do you respond to external pressures? According to Paul, what are some ways we can respond appropriately? What are the character traits that the Holy Spirit wants to light within us that can transform the way we think, react, and live?
From the Commentary
Each believer has a gift (or gifts) to be used for the building up of the body and the perfecting of the other members of the body. In short, we belong to each other, we minister to each other, and we need each other.
—Be Right, page 150
6. What are some of the gifts Paul references in Romans 12:3–8? How can each of these gifts build up the body of Christ? Explain why all of the gifts are important.
More to Consider: Wiersbe writes that some people belittle their gifts and don’t use them, while others boast of gifts they don’t have. Both of these responses are evidence of pride. How does pride negatively impact the body of Christ?
From the Commentary
Spiritual gifts are tools to build with, not toys to play with or weapons to fight with.
—Be Right, page 151
7. What are ways people might “play” or “toy” with their spiritual gifts? How do people use them as weapons? Describe what it looks like to “build” with your spiritual gifts.
From the Commentary
Christian fellowship is much more than a pat on the back and a handshake. It means sharing the burdens and the blessings of others so that we all grow together and glorify the Lord. If Christians cannot get along with one another, how can they ever face their enemies?
—Be Right, page 152
8. Describe some of the best examples of Christian fellowship you’ve witnessed or experienced. What are some of the characteristics of good fellowship? Circle words or phrases in this Scripture passage that exemplify what it means to enjoy fellowship.
More to Consider: Reread Romans 12:17–21. How easy or difficult is it for Christians to respond to their enemies in the ways Paul describes? Why is it so easy for us to want to retaliate when others wrong us? What role does the Holy Spirit play in changing our attitudes toward our enemies?
From the Commentary
God established human government because humankind is sinful and must have some kind of authority over us. God has given the sword to rulers, and with it the authority to punish and even to execute. Capital punishment was ordained in Genesis 9:5–6, and it has not been abolished. Even though we cannot always respect the person in office, we must respect the office, for government was ordained by God.
—Be Right, page 155
9. Consider the people who govern your life and the world around you. Which of Paul’s words are most difficult to “swallow” in Romans 13:1–7? What are some of the things you appreciate about those who are in authority over you? Some things you don’t agree with? How does your response to authority impact the way others view your faith?
From the Commentary
“Love one another” is the basic principle of the Christian life. It is the “new commandment” that Christ gave to us (John 13:34). When we practice love, there is no need for any other laws, because love covers it all. If we love others, we will not sin against them.
—Be Right, page 156
10. How might the governments and leaders who impact your world change if they were to embrace wholeheartedly the “love one another” principle? What would that look like in practical terms?
Looking Inward
Take a moment to reflect on all that you’ve explored thus far in this study of Romans 12:1—13:14. Review your notes and answers and think about how each of these things matters in your life today.
Tips for Small Groups: To get the most out of this section, form pairs or trios and have group members take turns answering these questions. Be honest and as open as you can in this discussion, but most of all, be encouraging and supportive of others. Be sensitive to those who are going through particularly difficult times and don’t press for people to speak if they’re uncomfortable doing so.
11. What are some of the ways you’re currently offering your body to God as a living sacrifice? What are some of the challenges you face as you attempt to do this? How will you respond to those challenges?
12. What are some ways you devote yourself to others? How do you show sincere love to family members, friends, coworkers, and strangers?
13. How well do you express love to those people whom you consider enemies? How well do you submit to authorities (even if you don’t agree with them)? If you’re struggling with either of these things, what steps can you take to be more loving? More appropriately submissive to leaders?
Going Forward
14. Think of one or two things that you have learned that you’d like to work on in the coming week. Remember that this is all about quality, not quantity. It’s better to work on one specific area of life and do it well than to work on many and do poorly (or to be so overwhelmed that you simply don’t try).
Do you need to learn how to be a living sacrifice? Discover how to love those you disagree with? Submit to authority? Be specific. Go back through Romans 12:1—13:14 and put a star next to the phrase or verse that is most encouraging to you. Consider memorizing this verse.
Real-Life Application Ideas: Choose to work on one of the following two challenges Paul presents in this Romans passage: (1) loving your enemies, or (2) submitting to authority. Think about a specific person you’re having a difficult time loving or a specific leader you’re having a difficult time respecting, then list two or three things you can do to change your attitude so it matches what Paul is teaching. (The leader doesn’t have to be a political one; we have leaders in every area of our lives.) Consider talking with a close friend about your ideas so he or she can be an advocate and an accountability partner.
Seeking Help
15. Write a prayer below (or simply pray one in silence), inviting God to work on your mind and heart in those areas you’ve previously noted. Be honest about your desires and fears.
Notes for Small Groups:
• Look for ways to put into practice the things you wrote in the “Going Forward” section in this lesson. Talk with other group members about your ideas and commit to being accountable to one another.
• During the coming week, ask the Holy Spirit to continue to reveal truth to you from what you’ve read and studied.
• Before you start the next lesson, read Romans 14:1—16:27. For more in-depth lesson preparation, read chapters 12 and 13, “When Christians Disagree” and “Man on the Move,” in Be Right.