Chapter Thirteen: Transformed into His Image

Consider John 6:38, the text at the head of this chapter. Jesus said, “I have come … not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.” Of course Jesus’ will was never contrary to the will of His Father. In fact, in John 5:30, He said, “I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.” And speaking prophetically through David, He said in Psalm 40:8, “I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.”

Jesus came to do the will of the Father. He actively sought that will, and He delighted in doing it. If we are to be conformed more and more to the image of Christ, the will of God must become the primary object of our lives.

This means we should be seeking to know and understand the moral will of God as it is given to us in His Word. That is why Paul prayed that the Colossians, and by extension every succeeding generation of believers, “may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Colossians 1:9). We should pray this for ourselves and for those for whom we have a spiritual responsibility (such as parents for their children). Additionally, as Psalm 1:2 says, we should delight in the law of the Lord, where the word law stands for the moral will of God. To delight in the law of God means more than just to delight to think about it. It obviously includes that, but it also includes delight in doing it, just as Jesus did.

But what I want us to see about Jesus as our example is His heart for the will of God — the heart in the very center of our being, the seat of our intellect, affections (or desires), and will. And Jesus’ heart was fully set on knowing and doing the will of the Father. If we are to become increasingly like Jesus, we must give attention to the direction of our hearts and to their objects of desire. Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). Though Jesus spoke those words in the context of money and possessions, the principle is true in every area of life. Desires determine the direction of our hearts. All of us have many desires, some significant and some mundane and incidental. Some are sinful desires, and some are legitimate and amoral. Our desires are to some extent our “treasures.”

The morning I was to begin working on this chapter, my wife had an early-morning meeting. In her rush to get out of the house, she left undone a couple of small household tasks she would normally do. I noted these two things, but I also was very desirous to get to my work, so what should I have done? Should I have ignored those household tasks, thinking she would do them when she came home? Or should I have sought in a very small way to love my wife as Christ loved the church by doing these incidental household chores for her? Because I pray regularly that the Holy Spirit will enable me to love her as Christ loved the church, I saw this as an opportunity to love my wife in a practical way. My desire to follow the pattern of Jesus in a small way overcame my desire to get to my work.

I realize this mundane event may seem so incidental that it is scarcely worth mentioning. But the fact is, life is made up of a mosaic of seemingly small and incidental events. All day long we are following our desires, and the overall response to those desires ultimately determines the direction of our lives. So if we desire to be conformed more so to the character of Jesus, we must desire to know and do the will of God. This means we must continually bring our minds under the influence of the Scriptures by the various means discussed in chapter 11, and we must pray that the Holy Spirit will use those means to increase our knowledge of the will of God and our desire to do it.

But what will cause us to want to do what we ought to do? The answer is gratitude for what God has done for us in Christ and the love for God that flows out of that gratitude. This is why we must continually embrace the gospel every day of our lives, for he that is forgiven much loves much. It is the love of Christ for us that constrains us to live no longer for ourselves but for Him.

Jesus used two other expressions about His relationship with His Father that will help us know more of what it means to be conformed to His likeness. In John 8:29, He said, “I always do the things that are pleasing to him.” And in John 17:4, in His prayer to the Father, He said, “I glorified you on earth.” Of course, pleasing God and glorifying God are the results of doing the will of God, but pleasing and glorifying God give us the goal of doing the will of God. If we are constrained by His love, we will want to please Him and glorify Him.

Once again we find in Paul’s letters comparable ideas for us as we seek to be like Jesus. We have already looked at Paul’s prayer in Colossians 1:9 that we might grow in the knowledge of God’s will. In verse 10, he continued, “Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him.” And in 1 Corinthians 10:31, he wrote, “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” Just as Jesus did, Paul desired that we please God and glorify Him in every aspect of our lives.

We might ask how we can please God when even our best deeds are imperfect and are defiled by our own, to some degree, impure motives. The answer is found in the words of Peter in 1 Peter 2:5: “You yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” Our efforts at pleasing God are acceptable to Him because of the perfect obedience of Christ. He is the One who takes our imperfect and defiled obedience and makes it acceptable to God the Father.

So in our desire to do the will of God, to please Him and glorify Him, we must always look outside of ourselves to Christ. We must look to Him for our righteous standing before the Father. We must look to His love in giving Himself for us to motivate us to want to please Him, and we must look to Him to make our imperfect obedience acceptable to the Father. It is only in this manner that we can please God and glorify Him.

Please note that in all this discussion, I have not mentioned any specific rules of conduct, or what we often call the “dos and don’ts.” These have their place and we will look at some of them in the next section. But I have first of all attempted to address our hearts. What do we desire? If we do not desire to do the will of God, if we do not desire to please Him and glorify Him, then the rules of conduct become burdensome. We either ignore them or at best obey them reluctantly and halfheartedly. Or we focus entirely on outward conduct, that by which we remain respectable to other people while ignoring entirely the underlying sins of the heart.

If we truly want to do our part (our dependent responsibility) in being conformed to Christ, we must address the issues of our hearts. When in the depths of our hearts we delight to do the will of God and thus please Him and glorify Him, then the biblical rules of conduct will be more a means of moral guidance than a set of rules we must obey. In fact, we will be eager to know His moral will so that we can please Him by doing it. I don’t know if you picked up on it, but in my discussion of serving my wife by doing some ordinary household chores, I said I saw it as an opportunity — not an obligation — to love my wife in that way. That is the way we should view all the commandments of Scripture. They present us an unending series of opportunities to express our gratitude to God for His grace to us through Christ.

And now having laid the foundation of the heart, let’s turn our attention to some specific details in our daily walk.

Accordingly, Paul began the second section of Ephesians with therefore — that is, in view of what God has done for us in Christ (the indicative), this is how we should “walk,” or live out the ordinary course of our daily lives (the imperative).

Key to this whole section about our daily walk is 4:22-24: “Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” This passage offers what is known as the “put off/put on” principle, an important concept to grasp if we would be conformed to Christ in our daily lives. Basically, we should not only give attention to putting away sinful attitudes and actions in our lives but also strive to put on positive Christlike traits, such as love, humility, compassion, patience, and a forgiving spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23; Colossians 3:12-14). All of these positive traits can be called the fruit of the Spirit, even if they are not listed in Galatians 5:22-23.

My observation is that most believers who grasp the importance of spiritual transformation tend to focus more on the sins we need to put off than the traits we need to put on. Yet Christ said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). The watching world is not impressed by what we don’t do; rather, people may be more impressed if they see us loving one another and even loving them!

In the verses following Ephesians 4:22-24, Paul gave specific examples of how to apply the “put off/put on” principle. These examples can be grouped into three categories: integrity (see 4:25,28), sexual purity (see 5:3-4), and interpersonal relationships (see 4:26-27,29-32; 5:1-2).

In the first area, that of integrity, Paul mentioned falsehood (see Colossians 3:9) and stealing. It would be easy to pass over these areas, thinking, “I don’t do those things.” And that is probably true in the more obvious expressions of lying and stealing, but what about the more subtle areas? Do we ever exaggerate the truth to create a false impression, either of ourselves or our accomplishments, or, in the opposite direction, to reflect negatively on another person, church, or organization?

Are we somewhat loose with our facts when reporting an event or telling a story? Or do we strive to “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”? It may seem as if I’m dealing with ethical minutia here, but, to borrow words from Song of Solomon 2:15, it is “the little foxes that spoil the vineyards.” It is the little half-truths or embellishment of facts that can compromise our commitment to absolute integrity.

Hopefully we don’t steal in the sense of robbery or shoplifting, but do we ever plagiarize the writings or words of someone else without giving them credit? I once asked a seminary student if cheating ever occurred at seminary. He said, “Oh yes, but it is not cheating on exams. It is plagiarizing by getting papers off the Internet and doctoring them to make them appear as one’s own work. And most of these students will one day be pastors!”

Are we scrupulous about our company expense account reports and our income tax returns? I personally find it helpful when working on my tax returns to think of the Holy Spirit as auditing my return. Though I want to be completely honest with the government on my tax returns, it is far more important that I do not sin against God by the entries I make.

A danger of delving into details such as plagiarizing term papers or fudging on tax returns is that I may miss the area or areas of which you are most tempted. We are all tempted in various and different ways, and I hope you will have picked up on the principle of striving for integrity in the little things so that you will be prompted to carefully examine your own life for the “little foxes that spoil the vineyards” of your own integrity. It is also a good idea to ask the Holy Spirit to give you a conscience that is sensitive to the little sins in your life, some that you may not even be aware of.

As to putting on the new man, note the contrast Paul drew between stealing and giving (see Ephesians 4:28). Paul was not content that a person stopped stealing; he exhorted them to be generous — to work so as to be able to share with those in need. Are we generous to give, not only to God’s kingdom work so we can take a tax deduction but also to fellow believers who are in need where there is no tax deduction? The apostle John wrote, “If anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?” (1 John 3:17). Are we growing in generosity? Are we giving more, both tax deductible and non-tax deductible, as a percentage of our income than we were two or three years ago? If we want to be increasingly conformed to the image of Christ, we must grow in generosity so as to follow His example of becoming poor so that through His poverty we might become rich (see 2 Corinthians 8:9).

The second category Paul addressed is sexual purity. Though Paul’s treatment is brief, his message is strong in terms of absolute avoidance of all forms of sexual impurity. We need to examine our habits and activities in this age when sexual activity outside of marriage is accepted as normal by society at large. It is difficult to find a movie, novel, or television drama that does not include illicit sexual activity as a normal part of the story line.

We need to take seriously Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:28: “I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” A reasonable inference from Jesus’ words is that indulging sexual fantasies in one’s mind is also committing adultery in one’s heart. Therefore, we need to guard our eyes and thoughts as scrupulously as we guard against any physical sexual activity. I don’t want to descend into a legalistic set of rules regarding movies, television dramas, and novels, but if we truly want to be conformed to the image of Jesus, we need to think seriously about what we allow our eyes to see and our minds to dwell on.

Sexual purity and the sanctity of marriage are important because God designed human marriage to represent the relationship between Christ and the church. To violate the sanctity of marriage, even in one’s heart, is therefore to debase and defile that sacred picture.

It is noteworthy that in Revelation 17, Babylon the great (a code name for Rome) is referred to as “the great prostitute” and “mother of prostitutes” (verses 1,5). Rome was guilty of many egregious sins, including pervasive and gross immorality, wanton luxury, the legal practice of slavery, the deification of the emperor, and the persecution of Christians, yet God uses the image of prostitution to describe the empire in all its degradation. Of all the specific sins — such as lying, stealing, and murder — that God could have used, by calling Rome the great prostitute, He chose the image of sexual immorality to cover them all. Surely this says something to us about God’s attitude toward sexual immorality.

Here I need to address an important aside to Christian women and girls. Remember Paul’s words in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world.” There is probably no other area of life in which Christian young women are so prone to be conformed to the world than in their standard of dress. They want to be in fashion, so they buy whatever the latest styles are without regard to whether or not they are modest. But as someone who wants to be conformed to the image of Christ, you cannot afford to do that. You must instead be careful to avoid clothing that attracts the eyes of men. I know this is difficult today when so much of women’s clothing is deliberately designed to be provocative, but however long and hard you must look you should seek clothing that is modest. Though you may not realize it, if you wear revealing clothing, you are probably as guilty of sexual impurity as is the man who looks at you with lustful eyes. And a word to parents, both moms and dads: It is your responsibility to ensure that your teenage daughters first of all understand the seriousness of this subject and that as Christians (assuming they are) they should gladly, in response to Christ’s love for them, seek to please Him in their dress.

And finally the most major issue today in the subject of sexual purity is Internet pornography. In the mid-fourteenth century, the bubonic plague, called the Black Death, spread rapidly across all of Europe, resulting in the deaths of between 30 and 60 percent of Europe’s population. Our term for this is a pandemic, a widespread epidemic. Today we have a moral pandemic in our country. A colleague of mine who ministers to college students and who has studied this subject extensively told me that 98 percent of freshmen men entering the university today are involved to some degree in Internet pornography. And, unbelievably, the figure for freshmen women is 40 percent! He said it does not matter if students are from Christian families, attended Christian high schools, or were homeschooled — the percentages remain unbelievably high.

Of course, men and women of all ages and all stations in life are being swept up into this evil activity, so it is not an overstatement to call this phenomenon a moral pandemic. It is well known that the annual revenue from Internet pornography exceeds the combined revenues of the National Football League, the National Basketball Association, and Major League Baseball. Truly our country is awash in this moral filth.

This subject is so big and so complex that it is beyond the scope of this book to address our response to this issue. But the evangelical church, Christian high schools and colleges, and parents must address the moral cancer in our society. Otherwise, we are leaving our young people, our next generation of parents, exposed and defenseless before what is probably the greatest moral threat our country has ever faced.

The third area of “put off/put on” that Paul dealt with is interpersonal relationships. This is an area to which most of us need to give attention. We might pass by Paul’s exhortations on integrity and sexual purity with the assumption we have no problems in those areas, but who of us can plead completely innocent in the way we treat one another?

I have known people who appeared to be completely above reproach in the areas of integrity and sexual purity but who were judgmental, self-righteous, and even harsh in their relationships with other people. Yet as important as are the areas of integrity and sexual purity, Paul gave more emphasis to this area than to the other two combined. In the edition of the Bible I use, sixteen lines of print from Ephesians 4:25 through 5:4 deal with interpersonal relationships, while eleven lines are devoted to integrity and sexual purity combined. This comparison is by no means intended to diminish the importance of integrity or sexual purity but to point out how important interpersonal relationships are.

This whole section on interpersonal relationships is worthy of our prayerful, thoughtful reflection, and I urge you to open your Bible to Ephesians 4:25–5:4 and pray over each aspect, asking God to reveal to you any attitude or action that needs to be put off or any one you need to grow in.

Anger is the first sinful attitude Paul mentioned. Here we need to take seriously the warning of Jesus in Matthew 5:22, “Everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment.” Anger among believers most often expresses itself in harsh speech by which we express our extreme displeasure at the attitude, words, or actions of another person.

I think of the words of James in connection with sins of the tongue: “With [the tongue] we curse people who are made in the likeness of God” (3:9). To curse someone is not limited to profanity; it means any kind of imprecatory language by which we express ill will toward someone else.

God uses a similar expression in Genesis 9:6: Murder is forbidden because “God made man in his own image.” Murder and angry speech are both sins because they are directed toward someone who is created in the image of God. And then when we realize that Jesus said that both murder and anger will make us liable to judgment (see Matthew 5:21-22), we should begin to realize what a serious sin our anger is.

Is there a place then for righteous anger? Of course there is. But too often we tend to excuse our sinful anger under the guise of righteous indignation. If our anger is a reaction to words or actions directed toward us, then our anger is probably sinful anger.

Other interpersonal sins to put off include bitterness, wrath, anger (fury), clamor, and slander (see Ephesians 4:31). All of these are sinful attitudes and speech growing out of the anger we have just discussed. They are, in a sense, various expressions of anger carried to a higher level. We can see here the destructive force of anger and begin to understand why it is a major sin along with lying, stealing, and sexual impurity of any kind.

But we are not to simply put off anger and its related sins; instead, we are to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave [us]” (verse 32). As God’s forgiveness of us is the key to understanding forgiveness, Jesus once told a parable about a servant who owed his master ten thousand talents (based on a wage of $40,000 a year, that would be about eight billion dollars in today’s currency). When he could not pay, the master freely forgave him of the debt. Shortly thereafter, the forgiven servant met another servant who owed him a hundred denarii (about ten to fifteen thousand dollars for today’s workman) and refused to forgive him.

The master called the first servant back to him and said, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” (Matthew 18:32-33). The application should be clear to us. All of us are represented by the first servant. We are all ten-thousand-talent debtors. We each owe God a moral and spiritual debt we could not possibly pay. But God in Christ — that is, through the death of Christ — forgave us. And Paul said that we are to forgive one another as God forgave us.

Is there anyone toward whom you are nursing an unforgiving spirit? Perhaps it is over an incident that occurred several years ago or even longer and you never truly forgave. The details and your reaction at that time may now lie buried in the back of your mind, but from time to time something triggers your memory about it, and the old unforgiving spirit arises again. If this is true, that spirit is hindering you from becoming conformed to the image of Christ.

God said in Isaiah 43:25, “I will not remember your sins” (see also Hebrews 8:12; 10:17). To not remember means we choose not to bring up old wounds from other people, either to ourselves or another person. And when they do come into our minds un-bidden, we immediately put them away.

Most of us need to pay particular attention to Paul’s admonition regarding our speech (see Ephesians 4:29). Again Paul used absolute language: no corrupting talk, only such as is good for building others up. Corrupting talk is any speech that tends to tear down another person, either someone we are talking to or someone we are talking about. When talking to someone, this would include words spoken out of anger or impatience, sarcasm, or any words designed to put down the person we are talking to. When talking about someone, it includes gossip, slander, or any speech calculated to negatively reflect on the character or actions of that person.

In the very next verse, Paul wrote, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” I’m confident that all sin grieves the Holy Spirit and I think that warning would have been appropriate in either the areas of integrity or sexual purity. However, Paul, writing under the infallible guidance of the Holy Spirit, chose to include it immediately after his exhortation about our speech. I think this says something to us. We would all agree that a lack of integrity or any sexual impurity or even our sinful anger grieves the Holy Spirit. But are we willing to face the fact that any corrupting speech, either to or about someone, also grieves the Holy Spirit? Elsewhere, Paul wrote that we are to “speak evil of no one” (Titus 3:2). The sad truth for most of us is that negative speech about someone else seems to slide off our tongues as naturally as eating. I can’t tell you how many times I have to check myself and refrain from saying something just “slightly” negative about another person.

Are we willing to make Titus 3:2 our goal as we seek to be conformed to the likeness of Christ? If you are, let me suggest three questions you can ask yourself about your speech to or about others:

Our tongues can be instruments to build up or to tear down. Ask the Holy Spirit to begin making you aware of speech that tends to tear down another person and to enable you to see where you can use your tongue more to build up others. Then ask Him to show you critical attitudes in your heart, for Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34).

We’ve covered a lot of territory in this chapter, so let me first give attention to the attitude of our hearts. Do we desire to do the will of God, to please Him and glorify Him? This is much more effective than focusing only on outward conduct. In fact, without a heart to do the will of God, outward conduct change is only superficial. Second, remember it is just as important to put on positive Christlike character as it is to deal with persistent sin patterns in our lives.

In the area of specific sins, I want to highlight three of them: