Of the Fifth Commandment
(2.) A conscientious keeping the sabbath, seasons the heart for God's service all the week after. Christian, the more holy thou art on a sabbath, the more holy thou wilt be on the week following.
OF THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT
EXOD. 20:12. Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land, which the Lord, thy God giveth thee.
Having done with the first table, I am next to speak of the duties of the second table. The commandments may be likened to Jacob's ladder; the first table, as the top of his ladder, reacheth to heaven,—it respects God; the second table, as the foot of the ladder, rests on the earth,—it respects superiors and inferiors. By the first table we walk religiously towards God; by the second we walk religiously towards man. He cannot be good in the first table that is bad in the second.
"Honour thy father and thy mother."
In this, 1st. A command, "honour thy father and thy mother."—2d. A reason annexed to it, "that thy days may be long in the land."
I. The command, "Honour thy father."
QUEST. Who is meant here by father?
Ans. Father is taken several ways; the Political, Ancient, Spiritual, Economical, Natural.
1. The Political father, the magistrate. He is the father of his country; he is to be an encourager of virtue, a punisher of vice, a father to the widow and orphan; such a father was Job, ch. 29:16., "I was a father
to the poor; and the cause which I knew not, I searched out." And, as magistrates are fathers, so especially the king who is the head of magistrates, is a political father; he is placed as the sun among the lesser stars. The scripture calls kings 'father:' Isa. 49:23., "Kings shall be thy nursing-fathers." They are to nurse up their subjects in piety, by their good edicts and examples: and to nurse them up in peace and plenty. Such nursing-fathers were David, Hezekiah, Josiah,
Constantine, Theodosius. It is happy for a people who have such nursing-fathers, whose breasts milk comfort to their children. These fathers are to be honoured; for, (1.) Their place deserves honour. God hath set these political fathers to preserve order and harmony in a nation, and to prevent those state convulsions which otherwise might ensue: Judges 17:6., When
"there was no king in Israel, every man did that which was right in his own eyes." A wonder, Prov. 30:27.
(2.) God hath promoted kings, that they may promote justice. As they have a sword in their hand, to signify their power, so a sceptre, an emblem of justice. It is said of Marcus Aurelius, emperor, that he allotted one hour of the day to hear the complaints of such as were oppressed. Kings place judges as cherubims about the throne, for distribution of justice. These political fathers are to be honoured:
"Honour the king," 1 Pet. 2:17. And this honour is to be shewn by a civil respect to their persons, and a cheerful submission to their laws, so far as they agree and run parallel with God's law. Kings are to be prayed for, which is a part of that honour we give them, 1 Tim. 2:1, 2.,
"I exhort that supplications, prayers, intercessions, be made for kings, that we may lead a quiet, peaceable life under them, in all godliness and honesty." We are to pray for kings, that God would honour them to be blessings; that under them we may enjoy the gospel of peace, and the peace of the gospel. How happy was the
reign of Numa Pompilius, when the swords were beaten into ploughshares, and the bees made their hives of the soldiers' helmets!
2. There is the grave ancient father who is venerable for old age, whose grey hairs are resembled to the white flowers of the almondtree, Eccl. 12:5. There are fathers for seniority, on whose wrinkled brows, and in the furrows of whose cheeks is pictured the map of old age. These fathers are to be honoured: Lev. 19:32., "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man."
Especially, those are to be honoured who are fathers not only for their seniority, but their piety; whose souls are flourishing, when their bodies are a-decaying. 'Tis a blessed sight to see the springs of grace in the autumn of old age,—to see men stooping towards the grave, yet going up the hill of God,—to see them lose their colour, yet keep their savour. Such, whose silver hairs are crowned with righteousness, are worthy of double honour; they are to be honoured, not only as pieces of antiquity, but as patterns of virtue. If you see an old man fearing God, whose grace shines brightest when the sun of his life is setting, O honour him as a father, by reverencing and imitating him!
3. There are spiritual fathers, as pastors and ministers. These are the instruments of 'the New-birth,' 1 Cor. 4:15., "Though ye have ten thousand instructors, yet have ye not many fathers; for in Christ
Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel." The spiritual fathers are to be honoured.
1. In respect of their office. Whatever their persons are, their office is honourable; they are the "Messengers of the Lord of Hosts," Mal. 2:7.
They represent no less than God himself, 2 Cor. 5:20., "Now then we are ambassadors for Christ." Jesus Christ was of this calling; he had
his mission and sanction from heaven, John 8:18., and this crowns the ministerial calling with honour.
2. Ministers, these spiritual fathers, are to be "honoured for their work's sake;" they come, like the dove, with an olive-branch in their mouth: they preach glad tidings of peace;" their work is "to save souls." Other callings have only to do with men's bodies or estates, but the minister's calling is employed about the souls of men. Their work is to redeem spiritual captives, and turn men "from the power of Satan to God, Acts 26:18. Their work is "to enlighten them who sit in the region of darkness," and make them "shine as stars in the kingdom of heaven." These spiritual fathers are to be "honoured for their work's sake;" and this honour is to be shewn three ways:
(1.) By giving them respect, 1 Thess. 5:12, 13., "Know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake." I confess, the scandalous lives of some ministers have been a great reproach, and have made the "offering of the Lord to be abhorred," in some places of the land.
The leper in the law was to have his lip covered: such as are angels by office, but lepers in their lives, ought to have their lips covered, and to be silenced. But though some deserve 'no honour,' yet such as are faithful, and make it their work to bring souls to Christ, are to be reverenced as spiritual fathers. Obadiah honoured the prophet
Elijah, 1 Kings 18:16. Why did God reckon the tribe of Levi for the first-born? Numb. 3:13. Why did he appoint that the prince should ask counsel of God by the priest? Numb. 27:21. Why did the Lord shew, by that miracle of "Aaron's rod flourishing," that he had chosen the tribe of "Levi to minister before him?" Num. 17. Why doth
Christ call his apostles 'the lights of the world?' Why doth he say to all his ministers, "Lo, I am with you to the end of the world;" but because he would have these spiritual fathers reverenced? In ancient
times the Egyptians chose their kings out of their priests. They are far from shewing this respect and honour to their spiritual fathers who have slight thoughts of such as have the charge of the sanctuary, and do minister before the Lord. "Know them," saith the apostle,
"which labour among you." Many can be content to know their ministers in their infirmities, and are glad when they have any thing against them, but do not know them in the apostle's sense, so as to give them "double honour." Surely, were it not for the ministry, you would not be a vineyard, but a desert; were it not for the ministry, you would be destitute of the two seals of the covenant,—baptism and the Lord's supper; you would be infidels: "For faith comes by hearing; and how shall they hear without a preacher," Rom. 10:14.
(2.) Honour the ministers, these spiritual fathers, by becoming advocates for them, and wiping off those slanders and calumnies which are unjustly cast upon them, 1 Tim. 5:19. Constantine was a great honourer of the ministry; he vindicated them; he would not read the envious accusations brought in against them, but did burn them. Do the ministers open their mouths to God for you in prayer, and will not you open your mouths in their behalf? Surely, if they labour to preserve you from hell, you should preserve them from slander; if they labour to save your souls, you ought to save their credit.
(3.) Honour them by conforming to their doctrine. This is the greatest honour you can put upon your spiritual fathers, by believing and obeying their doctrine. He is an honourer of the ministry, who is not only a hearer, but a follower of the word. As disobedience reproacheth the ministry, so obedience honoureth it. The apostle calls his Thessalonians his crown, 1 Thess. 2:19., "What is our crown of rejoicing? are not ye?" A thriving people are a minister's crown; when there is a metamorphosis, a change wrought,—when people
come to the word proud, but go away humble,—they come earthly, but they go away heavenly,—they come, as Naaman to Jordan, lepers, but they go away healed,—this is an honour to the ministry. 2
Cor. 3:1., "Need we, as some others, epistles of commendation?"
Though other ministers might need letters of commendation, yet Paul needed none: for, when men should hear of the obedience of these Corinthians, which was wrought in them by Paul's preaching; this was a sufficient certificate for him, that God had blessed his labours. The Corinthians were a sufficient honour to him: they were his letters-testimonial. You cannot honour your spiritual fathers more, than by thriving under their ministry, and living upon those sermons which they preach.
4. There is the economical father, that is the master; he is pater familias,—the father of the family, therefore Naaman's servants called their master, 'father,' 2 Kings 5:13. And the centurion calls his servant, 'son,' Mat. 8:6. The servant is to honour his master, as the father of the family. Though the master be not so exactly qualified as he should, yet the servant must not neglect his duty, but shew some kind of honour to him.
(1.) In obeying his master in licitis et honestis,—in things that are lawful and honest, 1 Pet. 2:18., "Servants, be subject to your masters; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward." God hath no where given a charter of exemption to free you from your duty.
You cannot disobey your earthly master, but you disobey your master in heaven. Think not that birth, or high parts, no, nor yet your grace, will exempt you from obedience to your master; to obey him, is an ordinance of God, and the apostle saith, "Whosoever resisteth the ordinance, shall receive to themselves damnation," Rom. 13:2.
(2.) The servant's honouring of his master, (his economical father) is seen in being diligent in his service. Apelles painted a servant with his hands full of tools,—an emblem of diligence. The loitering servant is a kind of thief; though he doth not steal from his master's goods, yet he steals that time which he should have employed in his master's service. The slothful servant is called a "wicked servant," Mat. 25:26.
(3.) The servant is to honour his master, who is his family-father, by being faithful, Mat. 24:45., "Who then is a faithful and wise servant?"
Faithfulness is the chief thing in a servant. This faithfulness in a servant is seen in six things: 1st, In tenaciousness in concealing the secrets your master hath intrusted you with; if those secrets are not sins, you ought to promise privacy. What is whispered in your ear you are not to publish on the house-top; such servants are spies.
Who would keep a glass that is cracked? Who would keep a servant that hath a crack in his brain, and cannot keep a secret? 2dly,
Faithfulness in a servant is seen in designing the master's advantage.
A faithful servant esteems his master's good as his own. Such a good servant had Abraham; when his master sent him to transact business for him, he was as careful about it, as if it had been his own, Gen.
24:12., "O Lord God of my master Abraham, I pray thee send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham!"
Doubtless Abraham's servant was as glad he had got a wife for his master's son, as if he had got a wife for himself. 3dly, Faithfulness in a servant is seen in standing up for the honour of his master. When he hears him spoken against, he must vindicate him. As the master is careful of the servant's body, so the servant should be careful of the master's name; when the master is unjustly reproached, the servant cannot be excused if he be possessed with a dumb devil. 4thly,
Faithfulness is, when a servant 'is true to his word.' He dares not tell a lie, but will speak the truth, though it be against himself. A lie doubles the sin: Ps. 101:7., "He that telleth lies, shall not tarry in my
sight." A liar is near a-kin to the devil, John 8:44. And who would let any of the devil's kindred live with him? The lie that Gehazi told his master Elisha, entailed leprosy on Gehazi and his seed for ever, 2
Kings 5:27. A faithful servant, his tongue is the true index of his heart. 5thly, Faithfulness is, when a servant is against impropriation.
He dares not convert his master's goods to his own use, Tit. 2:10., "Not purloining." What a servant filcheth from his master, is damnable gain. The servant who enricheth himself by stealing from his master, stuffs his pillow with thorns, and his head will lie very uneasy when he comes to die. 6thly, Faithfulness is in preserving the master's person, if unjustly in danger. Banister who betrayed his master the duke of Buckingham, in King Richard the Third's reign,— it is remarkable how the judgments of God befell that traitorous servant: his eldest son ran mad,—his daughter, of a singular beauty, was suddenly struck with leprosy,—his younger son was drowned, and he himself arraigned, and had been executed, had he not been saved by his clergy. That servant who is not true to his master, will never be true to God or his own soul.
(4.) The servant is to honour his master, by serving him, as with love, (for willingness is more than the work), so with silence, that is, without repining, and without replying: Tit. 2:9., "Exhort servants to be obedient to their masters, not answering again;" Greek, 'not giving cross answers.' Some servants are quick at speech, though slow at work, and instead of being sorry for a fault, they provoke by unbecoming language: were the heart more humble, the tongue would be more silent. They are the apostle's words, "not answering again." And to those servants who do thus honour their masters, or family-fathers, by submission, diligence, faithfulness, love, and humble silence, for their encouragement let them take that,
"Servants, obey in all things your masters, according to the flesh, not with eye-service, knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward
of the inheritance, for ye serve the Lord Christ," Col. 3:24. In serving your masters, you serve Christ, and he will not let you lose your labour, ye shall receive the "reward of the inheritance." From serving on earth, you shall be taken up to reign in heaven, and shall sit with Christ upon his throne, Rev. 3:21.
EXOD. 20:12. Honour thy Father and thy Mother, &c.
If we are not just, we cannot be holy. Having shown you how servants are to honour their masters, the fathers of families; I shall next show how masters are to carry it towards their servants, that they may gain honour from them.
1. In general, masters must remember that they have a master in heaven, who will call them to account, Eph. 6:9., "Knowing that your master also is in heaven."
2. More particularly.
(1.) Masters must have a care to provide for their servants; as they cut them out work, so they must give them their meat in due season,
Luke 17:7. And the food should be wholesome and sufficing. It is an unworthy thing in some governors of families, to lay out so much upon their own back, as to pinch their servants' bellies.
(2.) Masters should encourage their servants in their work, by commending them when they do well; though a master is to tell a servant of his faults, yet he is not always to beat upon one string, but sometimes take notice of that which is praiseworthy. This makes a servant more cheerful in his work, and gains the master love from his servant.
(3.) Masters must not overburden their servants, but proportion their work to their strength; if you lay too much load on a servant he will faint under it. Christianity teacheth compassion.
(4.) Masters must endeavour the spiritual good of their servants; they must be seraphims to kindle their love to religion; they must be monitors to put them in mind of their souls; they must bring them to the pool of the sanctuary, waiting till the angel stir the waters, John
5:4. They must seek God for them, that their servants may be his servants; they must allow them time convenient for secret devotion.
Some masters are cruel to the souls of their servants; they look that they do the work about the house, but abridge them of the time they should employ in working out their salvation.
(5.) Masters should use mild gentle behaviour towards servants, Eph.
6:9., "Forbearing threatening," Lev. 25:43., "Thou shalt not rule over him with rigour, but fear thy God." It requires wisdom in a master to know how to keep up his authority, yet lay down his austerity: we have a good copy to write after,—our Master in heaven is "slow to anger, and of great mercy," Ps. 145:8. Some masters are so harsh and implacable, that they are enough to spoil a good servant.
(6.) Be very exact and punctual in the compacts and agreements you make with your servants; do not prevaricate, keep not back any of their wages, nor deal deceitfully with them, as Laban did with Jacob, changing his wages, Gen. 31:7. Falseness in promise is as bad as false weights.
(7.) Be careful of your servants, not only in health but in sickness.
They have got their sickness in your service; use what means you can for their recovery; be not like the Amalakite, who 'forsook his servant when he was sick,' 1 Sam. 30:13., but be as the good centurion, who kept his sick servant, and sought to Christ for a cure, Mat. 8:6. If you
have a beast that falls sick, you will not turn it off, but have it looked to, and pay for its cure; will you be kinder to your horses than to your servants? Thus should masters (the fathers of the family) carry themselves prudently and piously, that they may gain honour from their servants, and may give up their accounts to God with joy.
5. The natural father, the father of the flesh, Heb. 12:9., Honour thy natural father. This is so necessary a duty, that Philo the Jew placed the fifth commandment in the first table, as though we had not performed our whole duty to God, till we had paid this debt of honour to our natural parents. Children are the vineyard of the parent's planting, and honour done to the parent is some of the fruit of the vineyard.
QUEST. Wherein are children to show their honour to their parents?
Ans. 1. In a reverential esteem of their persons,—they must 'give them a civil veneration.' Therefore when the apostle speaks of fathers of our bodies, he speaks also of 'giving them reverence,' Heb. 12:9.
This veneration or reverence must be shewn, 1. Inwardly, by fear mixed with love, Lev. 19:3., "Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father." In the commandment the father is named first, here the mother is named first, (1.) Partly to put the honour upon her the mother, because, by reason of many weaknesses incident to her sex, she is apt to be more slighted by children. And, (2.) partly, because the mother endures more for the child; therefore, here God gives the mother the priority, names her first, "Ye shall fear every one his mother and his father."
2. Reverence must be shown to parents outwardly, viz. In word and gesture.
(1.) In word, and that either in speaking to parents, or speaking of them.
First, Reverence in speaking to parents: children must speak to parents respectfully, and in decent language, 1 Kings 2:20., "Ask on, my mother," said king Solomon to his mother Bathsheba.
Secondly, Reverence in speaking of parents: children must speak of their parents honourably,—they ought to speak well of them, if they deserve well, Prov. 31:28., "Her children rise up, and call her blessed." And, in case a parent bewrays weakness and indiscretion, the child should make the best of it, and, by his wise apologies for his father, cover his father's nakedness.
(2.) In gesture. Children are to shew their reverence to their parents by submissive behaviour,—by uncovering the head,—bending the knee. Joseph, though he was a great prince, and his father grown poor, yet he bowed to him, and behaved himself as humbly, as if his father had been the prince, and he the poor man, Gen. 48. And king
Solomon, when his mother came to him, rose off his throne, and "bowed himself to her," 1 Kings 2:19. Among the Lacedemonians, if a child had carried himself arrogantly or saucily to his father, it was lawful for the father to appoint whom he would to be his heir. O how many children are far from thus giving reverence to their parents!
They despise their parents; they carry themselves with that pride and malapertness towards them, that they are a shame to religion, and bring their parents' grey hairs with sorrow to the grave. Deut. 27:16.,
"Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother." If all that set light by their parents are cursed, how many children in our age are under a curse! If such as are disrespectful to their parents live to have children, they will be thorns in their sides, and God will make them read their sins in their punishment.
A. 2. The second way of shewing honour to parents, is in careful obedience: Col. 3:20., "Children obey your parents in all things." Our
Lord Christ herein set a pattern to children, Luke 2:52., he was subject to his parents. He to whom angels were subject, yet was subject to his parents. This obedience to parents is shown three ways:
(1.) In hearkening to their counsel, Prov. 1:8., "Hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother." Parents are, as it were in the room of God; if they would teach you the fear of the Lord, you must listen to their words as oracles, and not be as the deaf adder to stop your cars. Eli's sons hearkened not to the voice of their father, 1 Sam. 2:25., but they were called "sons of belial," ver. 12. And children must hearken to the counsel of their parents, as in spiritual matters, so in other affairs which relate to this life; as in the choice of a calling, and in case of entering into marriage. Jacob would not dispose of himself in marriage (though he was forty years old,) without the advice and consent of his parents, Gen. 28:1, 2. Children are as it were the parents' proper goods and possession, and it is high injustice in a child to give away herself without the parents' leave. If parents should indeed counsel a child to a match with one that is irreligious or popish, I think the case is plain, and many of the learned are of opinion, that here the child may have a negative voice, and is not obliged to be ruled by the parent. Children are to "marry in the Lord," 1 Cor. 7:39.—Therefore not with persons irreligious, for that is not to marry in the Lord.
(2.) Obedience to parents is shown in subscribing to their commands. A child should be the parents' echo: when the father speaks, the child should echo back obedience. The Rechabites were forbidden by their father to drink wine; and they did obey him, and were commended for it, Jer. 35:6. And children must obey their
parents in all things, Col. 3:20. Things that are more against the grain, and which they have most reluctance to, yet they must obey their parents. Esau would obey his father, when he commanded him to fetch him venison, because it is probable he took pleasure in hunting; but refused to obey him in a matter of greater concernment, namely, in the choice of a wife. But though children must obey their parents 'in all things,' yet restringitur ad licita et honesta,—it is with this limitation, 'things just and honest.' 'Obey in the Lord,' Eph. 6:1., that is so far as the commands of parents agree with, and are consonant to God's commands. If they command against God, then they lose their right of being obeyed, but in this case we must unchild ourselves.
(3.) Honour is to be shewn to parents, in relieving their wants.
Joseph cherished his father in his old age, Gen. 47:12. It is but paying the just debt. Parents have brought up children when they were young, and children ought to nourish their parents when they are old. The young storks, by the instinct of nature, bring meat to the old storks, when by reason of age they are not able to fly, PLINY. Lex pelargica. The memory of Eneas was honoured, for carrying his aged father out of Troy when it was on fire. I have read of a daughter, whose father being condemned to be starved to death, she did in prison give him suck with her own breasts, which being known to the governors, procured his freedom out of prison. To blame are such, shall I say children or monsters, who are ashamed of their parents when they are old, and fallen to decay; when parents' tears and lean cheeks may plead pity, yet children have no compassion; when they ask for bread, they give them a stone. When houses are shut up, we say the plague is there: when children's hearts are shut up against their parents, the plague is in those hearts. Our blessed Saviour took great care for his mother; when he was on the cross, he charged his disciple John to take her home to him as his mother, and see that she
wanted nothing, John 19:26, 27. The reasons why children should honour their parents, are, 1. It is a solemn command of God, "honour thy father," &c. As God's word is the rule, so his will must be the reason of our obedience.
2. They deserve honour, in respect of that great love and affection which they bear to their children; and that love is evidenced both by their care and cost. (1.) Their care in bringing up their children; a sign their hearts are full of love, because their hearts are so full of care. Parents often take more care of their children than for themselves. They take care of them when they are tender, lest like wall-fruit they should be nipt in the bud. And as children grow older, so the care of parents grows greater; they are afraid of their children falling when young, and of worse falls when they are older. (2.) Their love is evidenced by their cost, 1 Cor. 12:14. They lay up, and they lay out for their children; they are not like the raven or ostrich, Job.
39:14., which are cruel to their young. Parents sometimes do impoverish themselves to enrich their children: all this calls for honour from the children. Children can never parallel or equal parents' love; parents are the instruments of life to their children, children cannot be so to their parents.
3. To honour parents, "is well-pleasing to the Lord," Col. 3:20. As it is joyful to the parents, so it is pleasing to the Lord. Children, is it not your duty to please God? In honouring and obeying your parents, you please God, as well as when you repent and believe. And, that you may see how well it pleaseth God, he bestows a reward upon it,
"That thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." Jacob would not let the angel go till he had blessed him; nor God would not part with this commandment till he had blessed it.
Here is the blessing, "that thy days may be long in the land," &c. St.
Paul calls this "the first commandment with promise," Eph. 6:2. The second commandment hath a general promise of mercy; but this is the first commandment that hath a particular promise made to it,
"That thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." Long life is mentioned as a blessing, Ps. 128:6., "Thou shalt see thy children's children." It was a great favour of God to Moses, that though he was an hundred and twenty years old, he needed no spectacles; "his eye was not dim, nor his natural force abated," Deut.
34:7. God threatened it as a curse to Eli, that there should not be an old man in his family, 1 Sam. 2:31. Since the flood, life is much abbreviated and cut short; some, the womb is their tomb,—others exchange their cradle for their grave,—others die in the flower of their age,—death serves its warrant every day upon one or other.
Now, when death lies in ambush continually for us, if God satisfy us with long life, Ps. 91:16., "With long life will I satisfy him," this is to be esteemed a blessing. It is a blessing that God gives a long time to repent, and a long time to do service, and a long time to enjoy the comforts of relations; and upon whom is this blessing of long life entailed, but obedient children? "Honour thy father that thy days may be long." Nothing sooner shortens life than disobedience to parents. Absalom was a disobedient son who sought to deprive his father of his life and crown, and he did not live out half his days; the mule he rode upon, as being weary of such a burden, left him hanging in the oak betwixt heaven and earth, as not fit to tread upon the one, or to enter into the other. Obedience to parents spins out thy life,—"that thy days may be long." Nor doth obedience to parents only lengthen life but sweeten it: therefore it follows, "that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." To live long, and not to have a foot of land, is a misery; but obedience to parents settles land of inheritance upon the child. "Hast thou but one blessing, O my father?" said Esau. Behold, God hath more blessings for an obedient child than one; not only shall he have a long life, but
a fruitful land; and not only shall he have land, but land given in love,—"the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." Thou shalt have thy land not only with God's leave, but with his love. All which are cogent arguments to make children honour and obey their parents.
EXOD. 20:12. Honour thy Father —— Use 1st. If we are to honour our fathers on earth, then much more our Father in heaven: Mal. 1:6., "If then I be a father, where is my honour?" A father is but the instrument of conveying life, but God is the original cause of our being, Ps. 100:3., "It is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves." Honour and adoration is a pearl which belongs only to the crown of heaven. And,
1. We shew honour to our heavenly Father, by obeying him. Thus Christ honoured his Father, John 6:38., "I came down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him that sent me." This he calls honouring of God, John 8:29., "I do always those things that please him," v. 49., "I honour my father." The wise men did not only bow the knee to Christ, but presented him with "gold and myrrh," Mat.
2:11.: so we must not only bow the knee, give God adoration, but bring him presents, give him golden obedience.
2. We shew honour to our heavenly Father, by appearing advocates in his cause, and standing up for his truth in an adulterous generation. That son honours his father who stands up in his defence, and vindicates him when he is calumniated and reproached.
Do they honour God who are ashamed of him? John 12:42., "Many believed on him, but did not confess him," They are bastard-sons who are ashamed to own their heavenly Father; such as are born of God, are steeled with courage for his truth, they are like the rock which no waves can break,—like the adamant which no sword can
cut. Basil was a champion for truth in the time of the emperor Valens; and Athanasius, when the world was Arian, appeared for God.
3. We show honour to our heavenly Father, by ascribing the honour of all we do to him, 1 Cor. 15:10., "I laboured more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me." If a Christian hath any assistance in duty, any strength against corruption, he rears up a pillar and writes upon it, "hitherto hath the Lord helped me." As Joab, when he had fought against Rabbah, and had like to have taken it, sent for king David, that he might carry away the honour of the victory, 2 Sam. 12:27., so, when a child of God hath any conquest over Satan, he gives all the honour to God.
Hypocrites (whose lamp is fed with the oil of vain-glory) while they do any eminent service for God, seek themselves; and so their very serving of him is a dishonouring him.
4. We show honour to our heavenly Father, by celebrating his praise, Ps. 71:8., "Let my mouth be filled with thy praise, and with thy honour all the day." Rev. 5:13., "Blessing, honour, glory and power, be unto him that sits upon the throne" Blessing God is honouring of God; it lifts him up in the eyes of others; it spreads his fame and renown in the world. In this manner the angels, the choristers of heaven, are now honouring God, they trumpet forth his praise; in prayer, we act like saints, in praise like angels.
5. We shew honour to our heavenly Father, by suffering dishonour, yea, death for his sake. St. Paul did bear in his body the "marks of the Lord Jesus," Gal. 6:17. As they were the marks of honour to him, so trophies of honour to the gospel. The honour which comes to God, is not by bringing that outward pomp and glory to him, which we do to kings, but it comes in another way, by the suffering of his people;
they let the world see what a good God they serve, and how they love him, and will fight under his banner to the death. Thus you see how we are to honour our heavenly Father: God is "worthy of honour," Ps.
104:1., "Thou art clothed with honour and majesty." What are all his attributes but glorious beams shining from this sun? He deserves more honour than men or angels can give him. 2 Sam. 22:4., "I will call upon the Lord who is worthy to be praised." God is worthy of honour. Oftentimes we confer honour upon them that do not deserve it; many noble persons we give titles of honour to, who are sordid and vicious, they do not deserve honour, but God is worthy of honour. Neh. 9:5., "Blessed be thy glorious name, which is exalted above all blessings and praise!" He is above all the acclamations and triumphs of the archangels. O then, let every true child of God honour his heavenly Father! Though the wicked dishonour him by their flagitious lives, yet let not his own children dishonour him. Sins in you are worse than in others; a fault in a stranger is not so much taken notice of, as a fault in a child; a spot in black cloth is not so much observed, but a spot in scarlet, every one's eye is upon it; a sin in the wicked is not so much wondered at, it is a spot in black, but a sin in a child of God, here is a spot in scarlet; this is more visible, and brings an odium and dishonour upon the gospel. The sins of God's own children go nearer to his heart: Deut. 32:19., "When the Lord saw it he abhorred them, because of the provoking of his sons and of his daughters." O forbear doing any thing that may reflect dishonour upon God! Will you disgrace your heavenly Father? Let not God complain of the provocations of his sons and daughters; let him not cry out, as Isa. 1:2., "I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me." So much for the first; if our earthly father be to be honoured, then much more our heavenly.
Use 2d. Exhortation. First Branch. Doth God, command, "honour thy father and thy mother?" Then let it exhort children to put this great
duty in practice; be living commentaries upon this commandment.
Honour and reverence your parents; not only obey their commands, but submit to their rebukes; you cannot honour your Father in heaven, unless you honour your earthly parents; to deny obedience to parents, entails God's judgments upon children, Prov. 30:17., "The eye that mocketh at his Father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it." Eli's two disobedient sons were slain, 1 Sam. 4:11. God made a law that the rebellious son should be stoned: the same death the blasphemer had, Lev. 24:14; Deut. 21:18., "If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother; then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of the city, and all the men of his city shall stone him with stones that he die." A father once complaining, 'Never had a father a worse son than I have:' 'Yes,' said the Son, 'my grandfather had,'—a prodigy of impudence that can hardly paralleled. Manlius, when he was grown old and poor, and had a son very rich, the old father desired some food of him, but the son denied him relief, yea, disclaimed him from being his father, and sent him away with reproachful language. The poor old lather let tears fall (as witnesses of his grief.) But God, to revenge this disobedience, struck this unnatural son with madness, of which he could never be cured. Disobedient children stand in the place where all God's arrows fly.
Second Branch. Let parents so carry it, as they may gain honour from their children.
QUEST. How may parents so carry towards their children, that their children may willingly pay the debt of honour and reverence to their parents?
Ans. If you would have your children honour you, 1. Be careful to bring them up in the fear and nurture of the Lord:
Eph. 6:4., "Bring them up in the admonition of the Lord." You conveyed the plague of sin to them, therefore endeavour to get them healed and sanctified. Austin saith, his mother Monica travelled more for his spiritual birth than his natural. Timothy's mother instructed him from a child, 2 Tim. 3:15. She did not only give him her breast-milk, but "the sincere milk of the word." Season your children with good principles betimes, that they may, with Obadiah,
'fear the Lord from their youth,' 1 Kings 18:12. When parents instruct not their children, they seldom prove blessings. God oft punisheth the carelessness of parents with undutifulness in their children. It is not enough that in baptism your child is dedicated to God, but it must be educated for God. Children are young plants which you must be continually watering with good instruction, Prov. 22:6., "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." The more your children fear God, the more they will honour you.
2. If you would have your children honour you, keep up parental authority over your children; be kind, but do not cocker them; if you let them get too much a-head, they will contemn you instead of honouring you. The rod of discipline must not be withheld: Prov.
23:14., "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell." A child indulged and humoured in wickedness, will be a thorn in the parents' eye. David cockered Adonijah, 1 Kings 1:6., "His father had not displeased him at any time, in saying, Why hast thou done so?" And he afterwards was a grief of heart to his father, and was false to the crown, v. 7, 9. Keep up your authority, and you keep up your honour.
3. Provide for your children what is fitting, both in their minority, and when they come to maturity, 2 Cor. 12:14., "The children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children." They are your own flesh, and, as the apostle saith, "No man ever yet hated his own flesh," Eph. 5:29. The parents' bountifulness will cause dutifulness in the child. If you pour water into a pump, the pump will send water again out freely; so, if parents pour in something of their estate to their children, children (if ingenuous) will pour out obedience again to their parents.
4. When your children are grown up, put them to some lawful calling, wherein they may serve their generation. And it is good to consult the natural genius and inclination of a child; forced callings do as ill, sometimes, as forced matches. To let a child be out of a calling, is to expose him to temptation. Melancthon, Otium balneum diaboli. A child out of a calling is like fallow-ground; and what can you expect should grow up but weeds of disobedience?
5. Carry it lovingly to your children; in all your counsels and commands let them read love. Love will command honour: and how can a parent but love the child who is his living picture, nay part of himself? The child is the father in the second edition.
6. Carry it prudently towards your children. A great point of prudence, is, when a parent doth not provoke his children to wrath,
Col. 3:21., "Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."
QUEST. How many ways may a parent provoke his children to wrath?
Ans. 1. By giving them opprobrious terms, 1 Sam. 20:30., "Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman," said Saul to his son Jonathan.
Some parents use imprecations and curses to their children: this is to provoke them to wrath. Would you have God bless your children, and do you curse them?
2. Parents provoke children to wrath, when they strike their children without a cause; or when the correction exceeds the fault. This is rather to be a tyrant than a father. Saul cast a javelin at his son to smite him, 1 Sam. 20:33., and his son was provoked to anger, v. 34.,
"So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger." In filium pater obtinet non tyrannicum imperium, sed basilicum. DAVENANT.
3. When parents deny their children conveniences; they will not let them have that which may cherish or cover nature. Some have thus provoked their children; they have stinted them, and kept them so short, that they have forced them upon indirect courses, and made them put forth their hands to iniquity.
4. When parents carry it unequally towards their children, shewing more kindness to one than to another, this sometimes breeds bad blood. Though a parent hath a greater love to one child, yet discretion should guide affection, that he should not show more love to one than to another. Jacob shewed more love to Joseph than all his children, and what did it procure, but envy of his brethren, Gen.
37:3, 4., "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and when his brethren saw that, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him."
5. When a parent doth any thing which is sordid and unworthy, that which casts disgrace upon himself and his family—as to cozen or take a false oath—this is to provoke the child to wrath. As the child should honour his father, so the father should not dishonour the child.
6. When parents lay such commands upon their children, as their children cannot perform without wronging their conscience. Saul commanded his son Jonathan to bring David to him, 1 Sam. 20:31.,
"Fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die." Jonathan could not do this with a good conscience; but was provoked to anger, v. 34.,
"Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger." Now, the reason why parents should show their prudence in not provoking their children to wrath is set down, Col. 3:21., "Lest they be discouraged." This word discouraged implies three things: (1.) Grief. The parents' provoking the child, the child so takes it to heart, that it causeth immature death. (2.) Despondency: the parents' austerity dispirits the child, and makes it unfit for service; like members of the body stupified, which are unfit for work. (3.) Contumacy and refractoriness: the child being provoked by the cruel and unnatural carriage of the parent, grows desperate, and oft studies to irritate and vex his parents, which, though it be evil in the child, yet the parent is accessary to it, as being the occasion of it.
7. If you would have honour from your children, pray much for them.
Not only lay up a portion for them, but lay up a stock of prayer for them. Monica prayed much for her son Austin; and it was said, it was impossible a son of so many prayers and tears should perish. Pray that your children may be preserved from the contagion of the times; pray that as your children bear your images in their faces, they may bear God's image in their hearts; pray they may be instruments and vessels of glory. This may be one fruit of prayer, that the child may honour a praying parent.
8. Encourage that which you see good and commendable in your children. Virtus laudata crescit. Commending that which is good in your children, makes them more in love with virtuous actions; and is like the watering of plants, which makes them grow more. Some