'Let those that are married be as if they were not.'
"It remains that those who have wives be as though they had none."
This is the first particular exhortation; for prior to this, the apostle had been asked questions of conscience concerning marriage, which is why he begins here. Each of these particulars is connected to the other. Those who marry will have occasion to weep—that follows immediately—for there will be sorrow. There may be the loss of a husband, or a wife, or a child; and there are always some afflictions.
Domestic troubles often accompany the married state. Therefore, after speaking of marriage, he adds weeping.
And then, because there is also joy in marriage—"A woman, when she is in travail, has sorrow, but when she brings forth a child, she rejoices that a man is born into the world," as Christ says (John
16:21)—there is joy in children, and a mutual joy in the sweet bond of conjugal love. There is much joy, and so, as there is weeping, so also there is joy in the married estate.
"And those that buy, as though they possessed not." Where there are wives and children, there must be buying; there must be provision made for future generations. And all this necessitates the use of the world. For when men marry, they enter into the world, as it is commonly said—they begin the world anew. They engage more fully with worldly affairs, for many things are needed to sustain that household society. Therefore, we see how one matter follows upon another. The apostle connects all these, especially aiming at this form of life.
Now in each of these particulars, the apostle grants liberty to act. You may marry, you may weep, you may rejoice, you may buy, you may use the world. But as there is liberty, there is also danger: you may
do these things, but you must not go too far. Therefore, with each liberty he imposes a restraint. You may do them, but beware of excess. And this restraint is supported by reason. He provides reasons for these restraints: "The time is short," and therefore there is danger that you may be carried too far, that you may plunge too deeply into these concerns. "The fashion of this world is passing away"—everything here is transitory. Therefore, it is foolish to become overly involved in that which is perishing.
Moreover, you are brethren, called to higher things. So, in each of these cases, there is liberty, a danger, a restraint upon that danger, and a reason to uphold the restraint.
(1.) The liberty: We may marry. That is not in question. There is not only liberty, but marriage is an honorable estate, and necessary; honored in paradise, honored by the presence of Christ. It is a liberty by which the church is preserved, and heaven is enlarged. It was the devil who introduced a base view of that honorable condition. In the Roman Church, they would rather be joined to a harlot than to be the head of a wife. It was the devil who introduced those abominable opinions and writings that dishonored this sacred state—and so they must be judged.
(2.) But there is a danger, and that is the main point. "Let those who have wives be as though they had none." There is great danger in two ways: a danger inherent in the things themselves, and a danger in exceeding lawful bounds in them. That is, there is a risk in the condition itself, and a peril if we go too far.
For example: Have not some who had wives been drawn away by them, as Solomon was, into idolatry? (1 Kings 11:4). Is there not a danger of being led astray? And in being led astray, is there not the risk of destroying our souls? Did not sin first enter through this
path? Was not Adam misled by his wife? And how many men have perished by being overly indulgent—too yielding and compliant in this matter? If they had remembered the apostle's instruction—to marry as though they had not—they would not have been so easily led astray.
Because there is danger, there is also restraint: "Let those who have wives be as though they had none." What does this mean? Are they to disregard their wives, or to neglect care for them? Certainly not. That is not the intent. But rather, they are to be as though they had none in the following sense:
Let them be as resolute for God's truth as if they had no wives to hold them back. Let them be as willing to suffer afflictions, if God calls them to it, as if they had no wives. Let them be as ready for spiritual duties, as their calling permits, as if they had no wives. Let them avoid distracting cares and worldly burdens, as if they had none. Let them not use marriage as an excuse for cowardice or worldliness, or for shirking suffering and affliction when God calls them to it. Let them not use marriage as a pretense for compromise in religion or for hypocrisy, saying, "I must think of my wife and children."
Let them be as though they had none; for Christ has taught us to hate all things in comparison with Him. A man is not worthy of Christ or of His gospel if he does not value Christ above wife, children, and all else. When a man is forced to choose—whether to remain faithful to Christ, his true Husband, or to cleave to wife and children—he must cleave to Christ. The reason is this: the bond of religion is above all other bonds. And the bond that unites us to Christ will remain when all other bonds are dissolved. The ties between husband and wife, parent and child, all end in death. But the bond with Christ is everlasting.
Every lesser bond must serve the highest bond. Therefore, we must not invoke one bond as an excuse to violate another. We must so strive to please others that we do not displease our chief Husband.
For the day will come when there will be no more marriage—when we shall neither marry nor be given in marriage, but shall be like the angels (Matthew 22:30). That time will have no end—it will be eternity. And we must keep our eyes fixed on that.
Therefore, those who marry, "let them be as though they were not married."
You know how it was in the parable: when some were invited to come to Christ, one of them excused himself on the grounds of marriage. "I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come" (Luke 14:20). His excuse was more definitive than the others. He said, "I cannot." But did that excuse him? Shall anyone be excused for refusing the call of Christ on account of marriage?
There is such an infinite difference between Christ, our supreme Husband, and any other—though it be the wife of our bosom, or the children of our body—that no excuse will suffice when a man forsakes Christ for the sake of any other bond. Christ has redeemed us. He is our Husband for eternity in heaven. Therefore, no excuse can justify violating the bond of religion for the sake of any other relationship.
And thus, the unyielding answer to that man was, "You shall never taste of my banquet" (Luke 14:24).