Section 11
his conversion right up to that time, he possessed the life of God, but he had not been living in the life of God. Even while he had been praying to God, he had been living in independence of Him. He saw that even his faith in God had been his faith, and his reliance upon God had been his reliance. He saw all his efforts to please God as something apart from God. He was filled with remorse. He abhorred himself. His healing ceased to be a question. His circumstances ceased to be a question. His one question was himself. He be came overwhelmingly aware that what he had regarded as his most spiritual service had been something apart from the divine life. No one preached to him, but the Holy Spirit gave him a deep registration of his individualism. He judged himself unsparingly and ceased to entertain any thought of improvement in health or circum stances. At that point a strange thing happened— his health began to improve. No one knew when or how the healing took place. There was just a gradual increase of strength until he was quite well. At an earlier date he could bear witness to God as the living God but all the while be living his life in independence of God; from that date he knew the God of resurrection and began to live in dependence on resurrection life.