Chap. 50 Use 1. Shew that trouble of conscience for sin, is another manner of business than melancho
CHAP. L Use I. Shew that trouble of conscience for sin, is another manner of business than Melancholy, or timorousness.
Use I. Hence follows this plainly from all that have been spoken, if sin be worse than any affliction, and not to be chosen rather than affliction; Hence it follows, Then that trouble of conscience for sin certainly is another manner of business than merely Melancholy distemper, it comes not from Melancholy, nor foolish timorousness, and the like.
There is another manner of business in trouble of conscience for sin then the world thinks for; this is the First Use that follows from all that has been delivered. Me thinks all of you should yield to the strength of this Consequence: If you have heard or read what I have opened: you that have heard al, or read it, it should take this effect in you all: Well then by what I have heard now, I come to understand what the meaning of trouble of conscience for sin is.
I have heard (heretofore) of many men and women troubled for sin, and I wondered what it meant, I wondered what it was that troubled them; many young people may be heirs of great estates and excellent good friends, of healthful bodies, in good trades, all well about them; and yet mightily troubled for sin. yea, perhaps some that to the view of the world lived very civilly, yet had in secret been guilty of some notorious profane course, and yet when God shall but settle any one sin upon their hearts, and trouble their consciences for any one sin; they could not bear the horror of their conscience for this one sin.
Well, this I have heard of the evil of sin, tells me I have had mistaken thoughts about it; I thought all was melancholy, and even madness, and the Physician must be sent for, and merry company sent for, because men and women have such poor and mean apprehensions of the evil of sin. and therefore when any are troubled in conscience for sin, Oh then get him into merry company, get a pair of cards, make them play a fit of Music, go to some business in the world, put themselves upon business, one thing or other, drink down their trouble, play down their trouble, thus many have slight thoughts of trouble of conscience.
And therefore when in their children, they cry out, Oh! my child will certainly run mad, is grown mad; many carnal men and women when their children begin to think of sin, they think verily they begin to run mad.
I remember in the story of Erancis Spira, he said thus (because his friends thought it a kind of Frenzy, and that it was not trouble of conscience for sin) Oh said he to his friends, I would to God it were
Frenzy, either feigned or real; if it were feigned Frenzy, then I could put it off when I pleased: if it were a real Frenzy, there were a great deal more hope of God's mercy, I should not apprehend God's wrath as I do, but it is otherwise with me.
Brethren, those that have felt trouble of conscience for sin, upon whose hearts God has settled, but the guilt of any one sin: what do you think of trouble of conscience for sin? they feel reality, they find that there is real lie unto them, that which is a greater burden, and grief, and trouble than all the miseries of the world. Dreadful expressions are many of them that Francis spirit has, which is a most dreadful example of horror of conscience for sin; Oh! (said he)
I feel the very torments of hell within me, and this afflicts my conscience with intolerable pain: Oh! that some body would let out this tired soul out of my body; Oh! that I were in the place of the damned, that I might be but free from FEARING any thing that is yet WORSE to come.
For though he did acknowledge, there was greater torments in hell, yet he professed he did desire to be in hell, that he might be freed from the torture of his Spirit, that was still in fear of worse, that was to come. And verily a most hideous story it is, that shews the dreadfulness of a wounded and troubled conscience for sin.
Certainly if sin be all that which you have heard, or read, well might the Holy Ghost say, A wounded spirit, who can bear? A man may sustain his infirmities, whatsoever his infirmities and troubles are in the world, it is no great matter to sustain them; but a wounded spirit who can bear? for a wounded spirit seeth it has to deal with the Infinite God, the Glorious Eternal Deity: and you must not tell such a one of Melancholy, and such grounds of trouble; for such a one knows, the Arrows of the Almighty stick in his heart, and it is another manner of business than so.
I might here have enlarged my self, and have spoken much to those that have such mean apprehensions of trouble of conscience for sin; and have shewed the difference between melancholy and trouble of conscience for sin; but I shall not at present, only I shall wind up all now briefly, and prosecute it further in the next Chapter.
Certainly it is not Melancholy, it is another manner of business than melancholy What think you of the Lord Christ himself in his
Agony? that sweat drops of water and blood, which you see was the fruit of sin? was that melancholy? certainly that was of the same nature that the troubled in conscience feel for sin.
The angels that sinned against God, the devils themselves, they are not capable of melancholy, they have no bodies; and yet none have such horrors for sin as they have: And so the souls of wicked men many times they have horrid apprehensions of the wrath of God for sin. But certainly, if the souls of wicked men and women go out of their bodies without pardon, the very first instant the soul is departed from the body, it has other manner of horrid, dreadful, and
dismal, apprehensions of the wrath of God for sin, then ever it had before.
I remember further, Luther had such a Speech concerning trouble of conscience for sin, in his Comment upon Genesis; It is a harder matter to Comfort an Afflicted conscience for sin, than to raise one from the Dead. This was a Speech of Luther, he saw what was in an Afflicted conscience for sin.
Further, Surely Melancholy 'tis not; no nor timorousness, nor folly▪ do but take an example or two, and so I shall conclude. •hat of David, you shall find in David that he was a man most free from melancholy, for the temper of his body it was a most cheerful disposition, and a warlike spirit, and very wise: And yet there is none in the Book of God more troubled in spirit •or sin, than he was.
First, I will shew you what manner of man David was; and then what his troubles of conscience were for sin: Sure he was no melancholy man▪ For First) you shall find it in 1 Sam. 16 12. that he for his bodily Constitution was sanguine, and not melancholy; he was of a ruddy and beautiful Continuance, and good to look upon:
So that David for the Constitution of his body, was of a sanguine constitution. And then, for the Valor of David, he was a mighty man of Valor, 2 Sam. 17. 10. And he was valiant whose heart •as as the heart of a Lion: This was the commendation of Hushay, 2 Sam.
17. 10. concerning David. And he was very cheerful who made so many Psalms, and was so Musical as David? 2 Sam. 22. 1.
He is called the sweet singer of Israel; and had such a sweet complexion, was sanguine, and a great deal of valor, and the sweet singer of Israel. And for wisdom, he was as an Angel of God, as the woman of Taco spoke to him. And yet, who ever in such anguish and distress for sin as David was? this you shall find if you read his penitential Psalms; I cannot mention all, take but some few; Psal. 6. there he is in trouble of Spirit; and then Psal. 32. When I kept
silence my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long:
Mark, David felt the weight of sin so upon his heart that his bones waxed old through his roaring all the day long; he found not sin a light matter as many ordinary people do. And Psal. 38. there is notable expressions, vers. 2. Thy Arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me sore: there is no soundness in my flesh because of thy Anger, nor rest in my bones because of my sin. Vers. 3. and vers. 4. My iniquities have gone over my head as an heavy burden, they are to heavy for me: vers. 5. My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness. vers. 6. I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly, I go mourning all the day long.
See what sin cost David. And I beseech you take this note along with you; you that will make use of David's sin to encourage you, and harden your hearts in sin; you will say, Why? did not David commit
Adultery & sin, that was a man according to God's own heart?
Yea, but mark, you that will make use of David's sin, make use of what David felt for sin, you see David's sin cost him dear, and made the arrows of the Almighty stick fast in him, and caused him to roar out in anguish and distress of Spirit, all day long, and he professes, he watered his Couch with tears.
And that 51 Psal. Restore to me the joy of thy salvation, that the bones that thou hast broken may rejoice. David's bones were broken through the trouble of his Spirit, that is the strength of his spirit (not bones literally) as bones are the strength of the body, so the strength of his spirit was overcome by the anguish and trouble of his soul for sin.
Thus it was with David that was such a sanguine, such a pleasant, and such a valiant man, and such a wise man, and yet he felt this trouble of Spirit; trouble of conscience for sin.
You think slight, and make a light matter of it, Oh you have brave stout Spirits, you will scorn to be so afraid, What! afraid of every
thing the Minister speaks, I scorn to be such a fool.
You think you be Sermon proof, and can hear all this dreadful evil of sin, opened without any fear or trembling: Well, you that have so stout spirits, know David's spirit was as valiant as yours, his heart was as valiant as a Lion, and yet the weight of sin broke his heart, and so it will yours too if God lay it aright upon your spirits.
Oh! it is not timorousness that causeth this trouble of conscience; for let God come and lay afflictions, his afflicting hand on them, they can bear that as nothing in comparison of sin.
I remember I have heard a story of a Woman that had Nine Children, and great pains with them all, and yet having afterward trouble of conscience, Oh! said she, All the pains I have had with my
Nine Children, is nothing to that which I have felt in a little time, in trouble of conscience.
So certainly, all pains are nothing, in comparison of the pains of Spirit when sin is settled by strong conviction upon your souls. So you have many that are troubled for sin, that could bear outward affliction, but can not bear that. And you that speak of the valor of your Spirits, that are so valiant, that can bear trouble for sin so easily as you think, and are so full of Courage; when afflictions are upon you, your hearts are down, and are poor, low, spirits; white liver'd, and can bear nothing, no cross, and affliction, this shews you have no true courage; you have courage to resist conscience and the motions of the holy Ghost, and the Word; but no true courage, it may be you have impudent spirits.
And mark one example more: One of the wisest men that ever lived upon the earth, yet greatly troubled for sin, all his days, and this is the example of Heman, such woeful trouble of spirit had he on him for sin: See Psal. 88. read the whole Psalm and you shall see the trouble of his spirit for sin, especially the 7. vers Thy wrath lies hard upon me, and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves. And the 14.