Chapter Five: Disciplined by Grace
CHAPTER FIVE
DISCIPLINED BY GRACE
The grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.
TITUS 2:11-12
I enjoy oxymora, those often-humorous, contradictory expressions such as “Hotpoint refrigerators” or Yogi Berra’s observation about the shadows in Yankee Stadium’s outfield, “It gets late early out here.” But the classic for me is a couple of lines from a Boy Scout camp song we used to sing, “O Susanna,” which went,
It rained all night the day I left;
The weather it was dry.
The sun was so hot I froze to death,
Susanna, don’t you cry.
The title of this chapter may seem to some people like an oxymoron. Discipline, to them, suggests restraint and legalism, rules and regulations, and a God who frowns on anyone who has fun. Grace, on the other hand, seems to mean freedom from any rules, spontaneous and unstructured living, and most of all, a God who loves us unconditionally, regardless of our sinful behavior.
Such thinking reflects a misunderstanding of both grace and discipline. In fact, as we can see from the epigraph of this chapter, the same grace that brings salvation to us also disciplines us as believers. The verse actually reads, “the grace of God . . . teaches us.” The word translated as “teach,” however, means much more than the usual idea we assign to it of imparting knowledge. Originally it was used as a term for the rearing of children and included not only instruction, but also admonition, reproof, and punishment, all administered in love and for the benefit of the child. The apostle Paul used the same word in Ephesians 6:4 when he charged fathers to bring up their children in the training (that is, discipline) and instruction of the Lord.
Used in a spiritual sense, discipline includes all instruction, all reproof and correction, and all providentially directed hardships in our lives that are aimed at cultivating spiritual growth and godly character. And though in the physical realm children eventually reach adulthood and are no longer under the discipline of their parents, in the spiritual realm we remain under God’s parental discipline as long as we live.
So we see that the very same grace that brings salvation also trains us to live lives that are pleasing to God. All of God’s disciplinary processes are grounded in His grace —His unmerited and unconditional favor toward us. We tend to equate discipline with rules and performance standards; God equates it with firm but loving care for our souls.
When I was first introduced to the idea of Christian discipleship, I was given a list of seven spiritual disciplines I should practice every day —things such as a daily quiet time, Bible study, Scripture memorization, and prayer. All of those disciplines were very helpful to me, and I am grateful for every one of them. They formed the foundation for my spiritual growth.
However, while learning those disciplines I came to believe that my day-to-day relationship with God depended on how faithfully I performed them. No one actually told me that God’s approval of me was based on my performance. Still, I developed a vague but real impression that God’s smile or frown depended on whether or not I did my spiritual exercises. The challenge to be faithful in my quiet time, while good in itself, probably contributed to this impression.
My experience is not unusual. A friend of mine who ministers on a university campus told of a student who was exceptionally diligent in having his daily quiet time. My friend asked the student why he was so rigid in his practice, and the young man responded, “So nothing bad will happen to me.” He was not being disciplined by grace but by legalism.
We are performance-oriented by nature, and our culture, and sometimes our upbringing, reinforces this legalistic mindset. All too often a child’s acceptance by his or her parents is based on the child’s performance, and this certainly tends to be true in our society. We carry this same type of thinking into our relationship with God. So, whether it is our response to God’s discipline of us or our practice of those spiritual disciplines that are so good and helpful, we tend to think it is the “law” of God rather than the grace of God that disciplines us.
Paul said, though, that it is the very same grace —God’s unmerited favor —that brought salvation to us in the first place that disciplines us. This means that all our responses to God’s dealings with us and all our practice of the spiritual disciplines must be based on the knowledge that God is dealing with us in grace. And it means that all our effort to teach godly living and spiritual maturity to others must be grounded in grace. If we fail to teach that discipline is by grace, people will assume, as I did, that it is by performance.
That is why we must not put the gospel on the shelf once a person becomes a new believer. He or she will have just as difficult a time believing that God relates to us every day on the basis of grace as a person has believing that God saves by grace instead of by works. So we must not only preach the gospel to ourselves every day, we must continue to teach it and preach it to those whom we may be discipling in some way, whether in a Sunday school class or Bible study we are teaching or in a one-to-one mentoring relationship. Discipleship must be based on God’s grace.
SALVATION AND DISCIPLINE ARE INSEPARABLE
Another truth we see in Titus 2:11-12 is that salvation and spiritual discipline are inseparable. The grace that brings salvation to us also disciplines us. It does not do the one without the other. That is, God never saves people and leaves them alone to continue in their immaturity and sinful lifestyle. Those whom He saves, He disciplines. Paul said this another way in Philippians 1:6: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
This thought is both encouraging and sobering. It is encouraging because it assures us that our spiritual growth is not left to our initiative, nor is it dependent upon our wisdom to know in which areas and in which direction we need to grow. Rather, it is God Himself who initiates and superintends our spiritual growth. This is not to say that we have no responsibility to respond to God’s spiritual child-training in our lives, but it is to say that He is the one in charge of our training.
Of course, God will use others, such as our pastors and other mature Christians, as His agents, and He will use various means, primarily His Word and circumstances, to discipline us, but He is the one who takes the ultimate responsibility. And as the one who is infinite in wisdom, He knows exactly which means to use in our lives at any given time. Our response then should be to trust Him and obey Him, and, to use words from the writer of Hebrews, to pray that He will “work in us what is pleasing to him” (13:21).
At the same time, this inseparability of God’s grace and spiritual discipline is a sobering truth. One has only to look around at Christendom, particularly in the United States, to see that there is a vast multitude of people who claim to have trusted in Christ at some time but do not seem to have experienced any of the discipline of grace. They may have walked an aisle, signed a card, or even prayed a prayer, but grace is not teaching them to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, let alone to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives. Essentially, their lives are no different today than they were before they professed to have trusted Christ.
As I think of these people, I am reminded of the words of Hebrews 12:8, “If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.” And Jesus Himself said, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 7:21). It is not those who have merely made a profession, but those in whose lives there is evidence of God’s Fatherly child-training, who are the inheritors of eternal life.
This sobering truth should be reflected upon by each of us. Is God’s grace disciplining me? The apostle Paul said, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you —unless, of course, you fail the test?” (2 Corinthians 13:5). And the apostle Peter exhorted us to “be all the more eager to make [our] calling and election sure” (2 Peter 1:10). Are you truly trusting in Jesus Christ as your Savior as He is presented in the gospel that we studied in chapter 3? Is there any evidence that you have died to the reign of sin through union with Jesus Christ? And is the grace of God at work in you to discipline or train you so that you are growing spiritually? If your honest answer is no, I urge you to come to Him believing His words that “whoever comes to me I will never drive away” (John 6:37).
Let me be clear at this point. We do not pursue holiness or the evidences of God’s discipline to attain salvation. That would be salvation by works. Rather, God’s discipline in our lives, and the desire to pursue holiness on our part, be it ever so faint, is the inevitable result of receiving God’s gift of salvation by faith. As Martin Luther is so often quoted as saying, “We are saved by faith alone, but the faith that saves is never alone.”
Many of us have friends and relatives who profess to be Christians but in whose lives there appears to be no evidence of the discipline of grace. Oftentimes we cling to a frail hope that such persons are believers because they made a profession at some time, despite the lack of any evidence of the Spirit’s work in their lives. It seems parents are especially prone to this form of denial regarding children who show no evidence of a genuine work of grace.
We certainly cannot determine the reality of another person’s salvation, and we can never say a certain individual is not a Christian. Nevertheless, we should not be naive in the face of a lack of evidence of any spiritual life. Instead of clinging to what may well be a false hope, we should pray earnestly that God will bring that person to salvation, or if perchance He has, will begin to manifest the discipline of grace in the person’s life.
GRACE TEACHES US TO SAY NO
Still another truth we see in Titus 2:11-12 is that the discipline that grace administers to us has both a negative and a positive aspect. This should not surprise us when we think of discipline as child-training. Every responsible parent not only wants to deal with misbehavior in a child but also desires to promote positive character traits. Both are necessary in physical child-training, and both are necessary in the spiritual realm.
Grace first teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions. Ungodliness is usually equated with wickedness: that which is immoral, dishonest, cruel, evil, or debased (see, for example, Romans 1:18-32). Ungodliness, however, in its broadest form basically comprises disregarding God, ignoring Him, or not taking Him into account in one’s life. It is a lack of fear and reverence for Him. The wickedness portrayed by Paul in Romans 1:18-32 all starts with the idea that “although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him” (verse 21). In this wider sense, then, a person may be highly moral and even benevolent and still be ungodly.
I recently read a review of a book titled Timelines of the Ancient World, published by the Smithsonian Institution. The reviewer pointed out that even though great figures of history such as Alexander the Great are duly mentioned, not one word is said about the great men of the Bible such as Moses, Abraham, or David. Most revealing of all is the fact that not so much as a passing reference is made to Jesus Christ, despite the fact that the book uses the BC and AD suffixes in its dating. The editors unwittingly testified to the historical reality of Him around whom time is measured without even mentioning His name.
I suspect the Smithsonian editors are nice, decent people, the kind you would enjoy having as your neighbor. But if their book is an indicator, they are ungodly people. They have no regard for God.
When we trust in Christ as our Savior, we bring a habit of ungodliness into our Christian lives. Like the Smithsonian editors, we were accustomed to living without regard for God. As unbelievers, we cared neither for His glory nor His will. Basically, we ignored Him. But now that we have been delivered from the dominion of sin and brought under the reign of grace, grace teaches us to renounce this attitude (as well as actions) of ungodliness. Obviously, this training does not occur all at once. In fact, God will be rooting out ungodliness from our lives as long as we live on this earth.
Grace also teaches us to say no to worldly passions, the inordinate desire for and preoccupation with the things of this life, such as possessions, prestige, pleasure, or power. Worldly passion is the opposite of the attitude Paul urged on us when he wrote, “Those who use the things of the world, [should live] as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away” (1 Corinthians 7:31).
What does it mean to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions? Basically, it means a decisive break with those attitudes and practices. In one sense, this decisive break is a divine act that occurred when we died to the dominion of sin in our lives. In fact, the tense of the Greek denotes the thought of having denied ungodliness and worldly passions, a prior act. In another sense, however, we are to work out this breach with sin by putting to death the misdeeds of the body (Romans 8:13). We will develop this idea further in chapter 11. But for now, to say no to worldly passions means “to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul” (1 Peter 2:11). It means that we recognize these desires as “deceitful” (Ephesians 4:22) and “evil” (James 1:14), and thus refuse the pleasure they suggest and the acts to which they beckon us.
GRACE TEACHES US TO SAY YES
Sometimes we can get the impression that the Christian life consists mainly of a series of negative prohibitions: “Do not do this” and “Do not do that.” Prohibitions are definitely an important part of our spiritual discipline as attested by the fact that eight of the ten commandments are prohibitions (Exodus 20:1-19). We need the prohibitions that are set forth, not just in the Ten Commandments, but in all the life-application sections of the New Testament. Indwelling sin that remains in us has a persistent inclination toward worldly passions and needs the constant restraint of being denied its gratification.
The Christian life, however, should also be directed toward the positive expressions of Christian character, what Paul called the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22. In fact, all of Paul’s ethical teaching is characterized by this twofold approach of putting off the old self and putting on the new self. For example, in Ephesians 4:22-24 he wrote, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
I like to think of this twofold approach of “putting off” and “putting on” as represented by the two blades of a pair of scissors. We readily recognize that a single scissors blade is useless as far as doing the job for which it was designed. The two blades must be joined together at the pivot point and must work in conjunction with each other to be effective. The scissors illustrate a spiritual principle: We must work simultaneously at putting off the characteristics of our old selves and putting on the characteristics of the new selves. One without the other is not effective.
Some believers seem to focus on putting off sinful practices but give little attention to what they are to put on. Too often the lives of such people become hard and brittle and probably self-righteous, because they tend to equate godliness with a defined list of “don’ts.” Other believers tend to focus on putting on certain positive traits such as love, compassion, and kindness. But if they do not pay attention to the “don’ts” of Scripture, they can become careless in morality and ethics. So we need the dual focus of “putting off” and “putting on,” and each should receive equal attention from us.
In the Titus passage we are considering, the positive aspect of the Christian life is expressed by the phrase, “It teaches us . . . to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” These three words —self-controlled, upright, and godly —are considered by most Bible commentators to refer to actions with regard to one’s self, one’s neighbor, and to God. Self-control expresses the self-restraint we need to practice toward the good and legitimate things of life, as well as the outright denial of things clearly sinful. Upright or righteous conduct refers to just and right actions toward other people, doing to them what we would have them do to us (Matthew 7:12). Godliness is having a regard for God’s glory and God’s will in every aspect of our lives, doing everything out of reverence and love for Him.
Matthew Henry has a very helpful description of godliness in his commentary on Titus 2:12. He wrote,
Personal and relative duties must be done in obedience to his commands, with due aim at pleasing and honouring him, from principles of holy love and fear of him. But there is an express and direct duty also that we owe to God, namely, belief and acknowledgment of his being and perfections, paying him internal and external worship and homage, —loving, fearing, and trusting in him, —depending on him, and devoting ourselves to him, —observing all those religious duties and ordinances that he has appointed, —praying to him, praising him, and meditating on his word and works.[29]
PRACTICAL CHRISTIAN LIVING
The apostle Paul summed up our three-directional duties of the Christian life in three words: self-controlled, upright, and godly. The context of his moral description of God’s saving grace, however, is a whole series of moral exhortations from Titus 2:1–3:2. The instructions are addressed to the practical spiritual needs of various groups —older men, older women, younger women, young men, slaves, Titus himself, and finally, all believers. From these specific instructions, we can begin to “flesh out” what he means by self-controlled, upright, and godly lives.
This section of Scripture contains so many concise instructions that to elaborate on it would entail basically restating the passage. I urge you to prayerfully read it over yourself, asking God to help you evaluate your own life in light of Paul’s instructions in practical Christian living. Don’t just pay attention to the section that applies most to you (older men, older women, younger women, and so on). There are Christian virtues in each section that apply to all of us, regardless of age or gender.
I do call your attention to the three instances where Paul emphasized the importance of our Christian testimony before unbelievers. In Titus 2:5, he said, “so that no one will malign the word of God.” In verse 8, he wrote, “so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” And then in his instructions to slaves, Paul concluded with, “so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive” (verse 10).
Paul was obviously concerned about the witness by life of the believers in Crete. In Romans, he had said to the Jews, “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you” (Romans 2:24), and he must have had a similar concern about the Cretan Christians. What would he say about us today? As the unbelieving world becomes increasingly hostile to true Christianity, it will be even more eager to find inconsistencies in our lives so it can ridicule God and His Word.
More than four hundred years ago, the great reformer John Calvin voiced a similar concern when he wrote,
Everything bad they [the ungodly] can seize hold of in our life is twisted maliciously against Christ and His teaching. The result is that by our fault God’s sacred name is exposed to insult. The more closely we see ourselves being watched by our enemies, the more intent we should be to avoid their slanders, so that their ill-will strengthens us in the desire to do well.[30]
Therefore, as believers, we should seek to be exemplary in every aspect of our lives, doing our best for the sake of Christ and His gospel. Our work, our play, our driving, our shopping should all be done with a view that not only will unbelievers have nothing bad to say, but on the contrary, they will be attracted to the gospel that they see at work in our lives.
Another very practical presentation of everyday Christian living is found in the putting-off–putting-on section of Ephesians. I have already called attention to the statement of this basic principle in Ephesians 4:22-24. However, immediately following this statement, Paul gives specific examples of how to apply the principle. We are to put off falsehood and speak truthfully (4:25). Those who have been stealing (for example, on expense accounts or tax returns) must steal no longer. Instead they, and all of us, should learn to share with those in need (verse 28).
Paul’s contrast of generosity with stealing is very instructive regarding the concept of putting on godly character as well as putting off sinful traits. If someone in our fellowship who had been stealing made a definitive break with that practice, we would rejoice over a major victory won. But Paul would not be satisfied until that person had also acquired a generous spirit of helping others in need. The person must put on generosity as well as put off dishonesty.
There are three attitudes we can have toward money and possessions:
The first attitude is that of the thief. The second is that of the typical person, including, sad to say, many Christians. The third attitude is the one each of us should seek to put on. It is not enough not to steal; we must also learn to share.
The principle of putting-off–putting-on is seen again in our speech (Ephesians 4:29). We are to put off unwholesome talk (not just vulgar or obscene speech, but also criticism, complaining, gossip, and the like) and put on what is constructive and builds up others. Negative emotions of bitterness, rage, and anger and sinful actions of brawling and slander are to be put off and replaced with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness (verses 31-32).
Immorality or impurity of any kind, not only in actions but also in words, thoughts, and desires, is not to be practiced —no, not even a hint of it. This leads naturally to exhortation against any form of obscenity or witty but coarse jokes. Instead, a believer’s speech should be marked by thanksgiving (5:3-4).
Why does Paul set thanksgiving over against witty but coarse joking? For one thing, in the original language there is a play on words —eucharistia over against eutrapolia. But more importantly, Paul was telling us that our speech should be dominated by thanksgiving to God instead of foul speech, or even complaining speech. As he said in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, we are to “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
GRACE TEACHES US
With all this emphasis on practical Christian living, however, we must not lose sight of the fact that it is grace —not law —that teaches us. When I first became a Christian, I regarded the Bible largely as a rule book. My perception was that the Bible would tell me what to do (or not do), and I would simply obey. It was as easy as that, so I thought in my new Christian naiveté.
To me, then, the practical precepts of the Bible were no more than a statement of the law of God. They commanded but gave no ability to obey. Furthermore, they condemned me for my failure to obey them as I knew I ought. It seemed the more I tried, the more I failed.
I knew nothing of God’s grace in enabling me to live the Christian life. I thought it was all by sheer grit and willpower. And just as importantly, I understood little of His forgiving grace through the blood of Christ. So I felt both guilty and helpless —guilty because of recurring sin patterns in my life and helpless to do anything about them.
My experience, however, was not unusual. In fact, I would say it is fairly typical, not just among new believers, but among many who have been Christians for years. That is why we need to understand that it is grace —not law —that disciplines us. Of course, Paul personified grace in the Titus passage. It is actually God in His grace, or by His grace, who disciplines us. Or to put it more plainly, God’s parental training of His children is based on the principles of grace and administered in the realm of grace.
What are the principles of grace? Basically, they are the two truths we studied in chapters 3 and 4. The first is the forgiveness of all our sins and the unconditional acceptance of our persons through the atoning work of Jesus Christ. The second is the deliverance from the dominion of sin and the enabling power of the Holy Spirit in us through our union with Christ. What does it mean that God administers His discipline in the realm of grace? It means that all His teaching, training, and discipline are administered in love and for our spiritual welfare. It means that God is never angry with us, though He is often grieved at our sins. It means He does not condemn us or count our sins against us. All that He does in us and to us is done on the basis of unmerited favor. To use the words of William Hendricksen, “God’s grace is his active favor bestowing the greatest gift upon those who have deserved the greatest punishment.”[31]
So where the law condemns, grace forgives through the Lord Jesus Christ. Where the law commands but gives no power, grace commands but does give power through the Holy Spirit who lives and works within us.
While I was in the midst of writing this chapter, I happened to have lunch with a small group that included a professor of New Testament at one of our evangelical seminaries. He passed on to us a helpful little verse that he thought was attributable to John Bunyan, the author of Pilgrim’s Progress, but he was unable to verify that. When he quoted the verse to us I thought, That’s what Paul meant when he said, “Grace disciplines us.”
So here it is. It’s easy to memorize, and if you do so, it will help you capture the essence of what it means to be disciplined by grace:
Run, John, run. The law commands
But gives neither feet nor hands.
Better news the gospel brings;
It bids me fly and gives me wings.
How, then, are you being disciplined? Is it by law, or is it by grace? Of course, God is disciplining by His grace, but how do you perceive it? How are you seeking to respond to His parental training? Do you accept the forgiveness of His grace, or do you labor under the burden of guilt? Are you relying on your union with Christ and the indwelling Holy Spirit for the power to respond to God’s training, or is the Bible only a rule book of commands you are struggling to obey by your own willpower?
Remember, the grace that brought salvation to you is the same grace that teaches you. But you must respond on the basis of grace, not law. That is why you must “preach the gospel to yourself every day.”
[29] Matthew Henry, A Commentary on the Whole Bible, vol. 6 (Old Tappan, NJ: Revell, n.d.), 867.
[30] John Calvin, Calvin’s New Testament Commentaries, vol. 10, The Second Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians, and the Epistles to Timothy, Titus and Philemon, ed. David W. Torrance and Thomas F. Torrance, trans. T. A. Smail (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1964), 371.
[31] William Hendricksen, Commentary on I and II Timothy and Titus (London: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1959), 370.