Part III. How A Youth Should Act
Part III. How A Youth Should Act
TOWARDS OTHER PERSONS
A free and noble youth should reflect on his duties to others, in the following manner: Christ suffered death in my stead and became my Savior; therefore I should offer my services to the good of all men, and I must not suppose that I belong to myself but to my neighbor. I was not born in order that I should live for myself, but in order that I might become all things to all men.
Every young man should, from early youth, strive after steadiness, faithfulness, truth, faith, righteousness, and piety; and he should diligently practice these things. With these he can serve, with fruitful results, the cause of Christianity, society around him, and his country; for he will be useful to the body politic as well as to the individual citizen. Those are weak-minded persons who are concerned only about living a quiet life. They are not so godlike as those who, to their own detriment, diligently serve all men.
We ought to be very careful, at the same time, that those things which we undertake to the glory of God, to the honor of our country, and for the common welfare be not defiled by self and Satan, so that we do not, at last, turn to our own advantage what we wish to be regarded as having been done for the good of others. There are many who begin well and go in the right direction, but they soon become corrupted by vain ambition, which poisons and destroys every good resolution, and as a result they are led away from all that is good and noble.
One who is a Christian will look upon the fortune or misfortune of others as if either one had happened to himself. If another person is fortunate, the Christian will rejoice as if good fortune had befallen himself; on the other hand, he will be sad when misfortune falls to the lot of another. The Christian will regard a community as a household, yea, as one body in which all members enjoy pleasure or suffer pain. Such members will so assist one another that what happens to one will be regarded as happening to all. For this reason the Christian will rejoice with them that rejoice and weep with them that weep. Any event in the life of another he will regard as occurring in his own life; for, as Seneca says, what happens to one person may happen to any other person.
A Christian youth should not so manifest joy or sadness as the common custom is, however; that is to say, he should not become proud and vain in prosperity, nor should he become impatient and finally despair in adversity. Inasmuch as a Christian will not be able to pass through life without these and other temptations and trials, he will, if he be wise, so deliberately and discreetly control them that he will at no time and in no place deviate from that which is becoming and right. He will thus be as glad when others are prosperous, as when he is prosperous; but he will not give way to despair when reverses come. In other words, he will endure all things calmly and with moderation.
I am not in favor of forbidding a youth to join the company of men and women assembled for innocent pleasure in public places. I refer to weddings of relatives, annual celebrations and festivals; for I learn that even Christ did not refuse to be present at a wedding. Since people will have festive occasions, I very much prefer that they be held openly, instead of secretly or in suspicious homes. Some persons are so constituted that they are afraid to act in a crowd. They are very easily frightened, when a person who may bear testimony against them sees them act; but when they act in secret, the accusing voice of conscience can scarcely frighten them. One must be a desperate rogue, a man from whom no good can be expected, if he is not ashamed to act dishonorably in the presence of a public audience.
Where persons assemble in social gatherings, every youth attending them should see to it that he go away morally benefited; so that he may not, as Socrates complains, always come home morally worse than he was before. He should therefore be watchful and diligent to follow the example of those who conduct themselves honorably and uprightly on social occasions; but, on the other hand, when he observes persons behaving themselves unbecomingly or shamefully, let him beware of imitating them.
Those, however, who are grown up and have become bold and fixed in their habits are hardly able to restrain themselves in this manner; therefore my advice is, that the youth should attend public gatherings, for social purposes, all the more rarely. Should a youth perchance be led into the folly of others, he ought by all means to turn away from it and should come to himself at the earliest moment. His reason for thus withdrawing from such association will satisfy those persons who know that his desire is, always to be intent on doing what is noblest and best.
When a neighbor is in trouble, we should at once visit him. In such cases it is, indeed, becoming for us to be first to go to his rescue and last to leave him. We should exert ourselves manfully in his behalf, by investigating the harm done, by doing something to remove hindrances, and by rendering any other assistance or giving advice.
Next to God we should honor and highly esteem our parents. This practice is also prevalent among the heathen as well as among unbelievers. Our will should yield to that of our parents, everywhere ;and if they sometimes do not live up to the commands of our Savior, we, as believers in Christ, should not rashly oppose them ; but we should rather explain to them, very kindly, what one ought to do or say. Should they be unwilling to accept such explanations, we ought to let them go rather than insult them with reproach or derision.
Anger, as physicians say, comes from a hasty temper. Since the young are very passionate, every youth should diligently refrain from becoming angry, so that he will neither say nor do anything that is prompted by anger. While anger lasts, let everything that comes to the mind be looked upon with suspicion.
If, at any time, we cannot accept and bear injustice or insults heaped upon us, because it seems to us too much to be endured, we should bring the matter before the magistrate or any other proper government officer. To return a reproachful remark for an insult or to abuse again, when we are abused, is nothing else than to become like him whom we thus treat.
Games played with one's companions, at proper times, I allow, provided they are games that require skill and serve to train the body. Games with numbers require skill, as they involve a knowledge of arithmetic. Games requiring movement, such as chess, also require skill; since one must carefully plan when and where to move, and when not to move. Chess, more than all other games, teaches the player not to take a single step without forethought. It is necessary, however, in playing this game to know when to quit; for some persons have been found, who neglected useful and serious occupations, in order to give their time and talents to playing chess. Only occasionally and, as it were, in passing by, would I allow such games. Cards and dice I reject entirely and would consign them to the carrion-pit.
The plays and games which exercise the body are running, jumping, stone throwing or putting the shot, wrestling, and the like. Nearly all nations engage in them; and among our Swiss ancestors they have been very popular, and they may be regarded as very useful for some purposes. Wrestling is an exercise in which the youth should engage very cautiously and not too often; for some have made earnest of the exercise and have turned it into a fight. I have not yet seen much benefit derived from swimming, although it is sometimes good sport to stretch out one's limbs in the water and to move like a fish. Swimming has been useful, it is true, in a few cases. As examples I may mention the one who swam from the Capitol and announced to Camillus the miserable condition of the avaricious city of Rome. Cloelia also swam back to her friends at Rome.5
All our walk and conversation should be such that those with whom we live will be benefited thereby. If it be necessary at any time to reprove or punish any one, let it be done so pleasantly, so thoughtfully, so skillfully, and with such judgment that we shall be enabled to drive away the evil, and shall win back the person and draw him more closely to ourselves.
We ought to be so diligent and firm in standing by the truth, that we not only weigh our own words but also the words of all other persons, in such a manner that no deception, no lie can be concealed therein. A candid mind should never be more displeased with itself than it is, when it finds itself giving utterance to a lie, even under oppression and therefore unwillingly; and I need not say that a youth should be not a little frightened and ashamed, were he to observe that he willfully gives utterance to light, untruthful language, whether such language be imitated from other persons or whether it be his own invention. A man who is a Christian is commanded to speak the truth to his neighbor; therefore one who is a Christian should stand firmly by the truth. A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. He who does not stand by his word or is untruthful, is not to be trusted. The words uttered by the mouth intimate what is in the heart. If the words are frivolous and deceitful we have a sure sign that the heart is worse than the words. Such a person may conceal his deceitfulness for a short time, but it will be discovered by and by. How foolish is the man who knows very well that he lies, but imagines that he is so much better than he really is, because no one else knows that he is a liar!
Men ought to be truthful not only in words but also in all their actions, never pretending to be what they are not, nor falsely representing anything in their dealings. As the heart, the spring of action is, so should the countenance, the eyes, and all one's manner be. He who feigns the gait of another thereby discloses the fact that his step does not correspond to his character; in other words, that his heart is unchaste and frivolous.
What more shall I say? Let every youth diligently see to it that he drinks from the clear and pure fountain of life, which is the Lord Jesus Christ. He who does this will be shown by Christ how to live, how to speak, and how to act. He will no more regard himself above exercising piety and doing right; he will never despair. He will grow in grace daily; nevertheless he will observe that he often fails and falters. In this way he will make rapid progress, but he will still count himself among the most unworthy. He will do good to all men and will revile no one; for thus did Christ set an example. Hence, he will be perfect who undertakes diligently to follow Christ only.