Note O, On Page 421.
THE SECOND BOOK TO HIS WIFE
I. I HAVE but just now, best-beloved fellow-servant in the Lord, traced out for thee, as well as I was able, what course should be followed by an holy woman, when her husband is, by whatever hap, taken away. Let us now turn to the next best counsel, out of regard to human infirmity, the examples of certain women warning us, who, when by divorce, or an husband’s death, an occasion of continency is offered, have not only thrown away the opportunity of so great a good, but, even in marrying, have not chosen to remember the rule, that first and chiefly they should marry in the Lord. Wherefore my mind hath been troubled, lest I, who lately exhorted thee to stedfast keeping unto one husband and unto widowhood, may now, by the mention of marriage, make the removal of the caution a downfall unto thee. But if thou art perfect in wisdom, surely thou must therein observe that which is the more profitable. But because this most important purpose of life is difficult and not without its necessities, I have abated somewhat: nor should I have had reasons for referring to thee on this point also, had I not found herein a weightier anxiety. For in proportion as the continency, which ministereth to widowhood, is great, doth the not enduring it seem pardonable. For in things difficult pardon is easy. But as to many in the Lord is practicable, as being within our power, so much the more culpable is it not to obey what thou canst. To this is added that the Apostle, as touching widows indeed and the unmarried, adviseth that they so remain, when he addeth, But I would that all would persevere according to my example; but, as touching marrying in the Lord, when he saith, only in the Lord, he no longer adviseth, but plainly commandeth. Wherefore, in this instance especially, if we obey not, we are in peril. Because one may neglect a thing advised more safely than a thing commanded: for the one cometh of counsel, and is proposed to the will; but the other is derived from power, and is tied to necessity: in the one liberty, in the other contumacy, seemeth to transgress.
II. Wherefore when a certain woman in these days removed her marriage out of the Church, and was joined unto an Heathen, and when I called to mind that others in time past had done the same, wondering at either their own wantonness, or the crookedness of their counsellors, since no Scripture holdeth out license for this act, “Do they,” said I, “flatter themselves with that passage in the first Epistle to the Corinthians, where it is written, If any one of the brethren have an unbelieving wife, and she be consenting to the union, let him not put her away. In like manner a believing woman being married to an unbeliever, if she find her husband consenting, let her not put him away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the believing wife, and the unbelieving wife by the believing husband: else were your children unclean? Perchance, by understanding in a general sense this admonition touching believers who are married, they may think it lawful also to marry with unbelievers.” Whoso thus interpreteth, God forbid that he be knowingly cheating himself! But it is manifest that that Scripture denoteth those believers, who have been found by the grace of God in marriage with Heathens. According to the very words themselves, “If any believer,” saith he, “have an unbelieving wife;” he saith not, “take an unbelieving wife:” he sheweth that one already in the married state with an unbelieving woman, and afterwards converted by the grace of God, ought to continue with his wife; to wit for this reason, lest any, having obtained Faith, should think that he ought to be divorced from a woman now an alien, and, in some sense, a stranger. Wherefore he subjoineth also the reason, that we are called in peace to the Lord God; and that the unbeliever may, through use of marriage, be gained by the believer. This very clause too proveth that this must so be understood: As every one, saith he, is called by the Lord, so let him abide. Now Heathens, methinks, not believers, are called. But if he had declared absolutely concerning the marriage of believers only, he had permitted the saints to marry indiscriminately. But if he had permitted this, he would never have subjoined a declaration so different, and so contrary to his own permission, saying, A woman, if her husband be dead, is at liberty: let her marry whom she will: only in the Lord. Here surely is no question to be made: for that, concerning which a question might have been made, the Spirit hath declared. Lest we should make an ill use of that which He saith, Let her marry whom she will, He hath added, only in the Lord, that is, in the Name of the Lord, which is, doubtless, to a Christian. That Holy Spirit therefore, who had rather that widows and the unmarried should abide in their integrity, Who exhorteth us to the example of himself, prescribeth no other mode of repeating marriage, save in the Lord. To this condition alone doth He allow the loss of continency. Only, saith He, in the Lord. He hath added a weight to His own law, only; with whatever tone and manner thou shalt pronounce that word, it is weighty: it both commandeth and adviseth, both teacheth and exhorteth, both asketh and threateneth. ‘Tis a sentence sharp, brief, and, by its very brevity, eloquent. Thus useth God to speak, that thou mayest understand at once, obey at once. For who may not understand that the Apostle hath, in this kind of marriage which he forbiddeth, provided against many dangers and wounds to the Faith, and hath first of all guarded against the defilement of holy flesh by Heathen flesh? At this point some one saith, ‘What difference then between him who is chosen by the Lord, when married to an Heathen, and one long ago, that is, before marriage, believing, so that they should not equally take care for their own flesh? whereas the one is forbidden marriage with an unbeliever, the other commanded to continue in it! Why, if we be defiled by an Heathen, is not the one loosed, even as the other is not bound?’ I will answer, if the Spirit shall permit, first of all alleging that the Lord rather approveth that marriage should not be contracted, than in any case dissolved; finally, He forbiddeth divorce, saving for the cause of fornication, but commendeth continency. Let then the one have the necessity of abiding, the other moreover the power of not even marrying.
III. Then if, according to the Scripture, they that are found by faith in marriage with an Heathen, are therefore not defiled, because with themselves others also become sanctified; without doubt they, who before marriage were sanctified, if they be joined with strange flesh, cannot sanctify that wherewith they were not found. But the grace of God sanctifieth that which it hath found. So that which could not be sanctified is unclean; that which is unclean hath no fellowship with the holy, save that, of its own, it defileth and slayeth. This being so, it is evident that believers entering into marriage with Heathens are guilty of fornication, and must be forbidden all communication with the brotherhood, according to the letters of the Apostle, who saith, that with such an one we must no not eat. Or shall we in that Day produce our marriage-deeds before the Judgment-seat of the Lord, and allege that which He Himself hath forbidden? ‘That which is forbidden is not adultery; is not fornication! The admission of a strange spouse less defileth the temple of God, less joineth the members of Christ with the members of an harlot.’ As far as my knowledge serveth, we are not our own, but bought with a price: and with what price? the Blood of God. In hurting therefore that flesh, we hurt Him most nearly. What meant he, who said that to marry a stranger was indeed a sin, but a very little one? whereas, in any case, setting aside the wrong done to the flesh which pertaineth to the Lord, every wilful sin is, in the Lord, a great one. For as was his power of avoiding it, so is the weight of the charge of contumacy upon him. Let us now review the other dangers, or, as I have said, wounds to faith, provided against by the Apostle, most hurtful not only to the flesh, but also to the spirit itself. For who can doubt that faith is day by day effaced through intercourse with unbelievers? Evil communications corrupt good manners: how much more living together, and undivided familiarity! Every believing woman must needs obey God. And how can she serve two masters? the Lord and an husband, add, too, an Heathen? For, in obeying an Heathen, she will enact Heathen things: the form, the building up, the elegancies of the world, the baser blandishments, even the sinstained secrets of marriage themselves; not as the duties of the sex are performed among saints, with respect shewn to the very necessity, with modesty and moderation, as under the eyes of God.
IV. But no matter after what fashion she pay her duties to her husband: the Lord assuredly she cannot satisfy according to His rule, while she hath at her side a servant of the devil, a minister to his own lord in hindering the pursuits and offices of believers: so that, if a station is to be kept, the husband engageth her all day to the baths; if a fast to be observed, the husband on the same day holdeth a feast; if a procession to be made, never doth household business fall more upon her hands. And who would allow his wife, for the sake of visiting the brethren, to go from street to street the round of strange, and indeed all the poorer, cottages? Who will willingly bear her to be parted from his side, by the meetings at night, if her duty so call? Finally, who will without heed endure her being away all night at the solemnities of Easter? Who, without his own suspicions, will let her go to that feast of the Lord which they defame? Who will suffer her to creep into a prison to kiss the chains of a martyr? Yea, and to meet any one of the brethren for the kiss? to offer water for the saints’ feet? to seize on their meat, their cup? to long for them, to have them in her thoughts? If a stranger brother come to her, what lodging in an alien’s house? If a present is to be made to any, the barn, the storehouse are closed against her.
V. But some man (suppose) beareth with our ways and murmureth not. This then is a sin, that the heathen know our ways, that we are subject to their cognizance, that it is their kindness if we do any work. He cannot be ignorant of a thing who beareth with it: or, if it be concealed, because he beareth not with it, it is feared. But seeing that Scripture commandeth both, to work for the Lord both without the knowledge of another, and without grievance to ourselves, it mattereth not on which side thou sinnest, whether in respect of thy husband’s knowledge, if he bear with thee, or in the afflicting of thine own self, if, not bearing with thee, he be shunned. Do not, saith He, cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again, and overthrow us also. Your pearls are the notes of even your daily conversation. The more thou shalt take care to hide them, the more suspected wilt thou make them, and the more needful to guard against heathen curiosity. Wilt thou escape notice when thou signest thy bed, thy little body? when with thy breath thou blowest away any thing unclean? when thou risest even in the night to pray? and wilt thou not be thought to be working somewhat of sorcery? Will not thy husband know what thou tastest in secret before all food? and if he knoweth it to be bread, will he not believe it to be that which is reported? And will any man, not knowing the reason, simply bear with these things? without a groan? without a suspicious doubt whether it be bread or a charm? Some do bear with them: but that they may trample on, that they may mock such women, whose secrets they reserve for the danger which they believe will come, in case they be haply vexed. They bear with those whose dowries they may, by bringing up their name against them, make the price of silence, being ready, that is, to go to law before the executioner as the judge. The which most women not foreseeing have been wont to discover either in the extortion of property, or the breach of faith.
VI. The handmaid of God dwelleth amidst alien services, and, among them, with all the names of gods, all the solemnities of kings. In the beginning of the year, in the beginning of the month, she will be disquieted by the savour of frankincense, and make her procession from a door laurelled and candle-lit, as from a new consistory of public lusts. She will sit down with her husband ofttimes in clubs, ofttimes in taverns: and she will minister sometimes to the wicked, who was once wont to minister to the saints. And will she not herein recognise the fore-determined sentence of her own damnation, obeying those, whom she was about to judge? Whose hand will she long for? of whose cup partake? What will her husband sing to her, or what will she herself sing to her husband? She may hear forsooth, she may hear somewhat from the stage, from the tavern, from hell! What mention of God? what calling upon Christ? Where the cherishing of faith by the intersertion of Scriptures? where the Spirit? where the refreshment? where the divine benediction? All extraneous! all adverse! all condemned! sent by the evil one to level salvation to the earth!
VII. If these things may happen to those also, who having obtained faith while married to heathens, so continue, yet are they excused as being found by God in this very state of things, and are commanded so to abide, and are sanctified, and receive an hope of gaining. If therefore a marriage of this kind be ratified before God, why may it not also turn out happily, so as not to be in such sort harassed by grievances, and straits, and hindrances, and defilements, having already, in part, the countenance of Divine grace? For even this calling from the heathen is, by its evidences of some honour awarded, a cause of fear to the heathen man that it hath also some celestial virtue, so that he disturbeth himself the less, knoweth less, enquireth less. He hath come to be sensible of great things, hath seen proofs, knoweth that she hath become a better woman: thus himself also is, through fear, an aspirant after God. Thus are men of this sort the more easily gained, to whom the grace of God hath become familiar. But it is another thing voluntarily and of one’s own accord to come down unto things forbidden. Things which do not please the Lord assuredly offend the Lord, assuredly are brought in by the Evil one. This is the proof of it, that the Christian Name pleaseth the wooers only. Therefore there are found those who abhor not such, that they may destroy them, snatch them away, shut them out from the Faith. Thou hast a reason why thou mayest not doubt that no such marriage runneth its course prosperously, while it is joined together by the Evil one, but condemned by the Lord.
VIII. Hereupon let us enquire whether it be rightly so, as though we were in very truth censors of the Divine judgments! Do not, even among the Heathens, all the severest masters, and the most tenacious of discipline, forbid their servants to make marriages out of doors? to wit lest they break bounds for wantonness’ sake, desert their duties, bring forth their master’s cheer for strangers. Have they not moreover enacted that those may be claimed for slaves, who have continued in cohabitation with another’s slaves, after warning from their masters? Shall earthly discipline be held stricter than heavenly rules? so that Heathens indeed when joined unto strangers lose their liberty, while our own join unto themselves the slaves of the Devil and continue in their condition? They will deny forsooth that they have been warned by the Lord, through His Apostle! On what can I lay hold as the cause of this madness, save the weakness of faith ever prone to the lusts of worldly joys? Which indeed is the most found in the wealthier sort: for in proportion as any is rich, and puffed up with the name of matron, doth she require a more capacious house for her burthens, as a field wherein ambition may run its course. In the eyes of such the Churches are vile. Hardly shall the rich be in the house of God, and if any such be there, hardly the unmarried rich. What then can they do? Whence, save from the Devil, can they fetch an husband able to keep their sedan, and their mules, and their hair-curlers of outlandish height? A Christian, though rich, may not perchance furnish these things. I beseech thee, set before thee the examples of Heathens. There very many noble in birth, and rich in property, are every where joined with the ignoble and the middling, sought out for pleasure, or mutilated for licentiousness. Some match themselves with their own freedmen and slaves, (a thing despicable in the estimation of all men,) provided only that they have those from whom they fear no hindrance to their own liberty. Doth a Christian believer dislike to marry a believer her inferior in fortune, when she will be more enriched in a poor husband? For if the kingdoms of Heaven pertain to the poor because they do not to the rich, the rich will gain the more in the poor, will be dowered with the greater dowry out of the goods of him, who is rich in God. Let her be on his level in the earth, who in the heavens perchance shall not be so. Must she doubt, and enquire, and ever and anon deliberate whether he be sufficient for the dowry she hath brought, to whom God hath committed His own riches? How can we find words to describe the happiness of that marriage, which the Church joineth together, and the Oblation confirmeth, and the blessing sealeth, the angels report, the Father ratifieth? for not even on the earth do sons marry rightly and lawfully without the consent of their fathers. What an union is that of two believers, of one hope, one vow, one discipline, the same service! Both brethren, both fellow-servants! no distinction of spirit or of flesh, but really twain in one flesh! Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit. Together they pray, together fall down, and together pass their fasts; teaching one another, exhorting one another, waiting on one kanother. Both are together in the Church of God, together in the Feast of God, together in straits, in persecutions, in refreshments. Neither hideth from the other, neither shunneth the other, neither is a burden to the other. Freely the sick is visited, the needy supported. Alms without torture, sacrifices without scruple, daily diligence without hindrance! No stealthy signing, no hurried salutation, no silent benediction! Psalms and hymns resound between the two, and they provoke one another which shall sing the best to his God. Such things Christ seeing and hearing rejoiceth. To these He sendeth His peace. Where two are, there is Himself also: where Himself also is, there also the Evil one is not. These are the things which that word of the Apostle hath left to be understood by us under its brevity. Of these things put thyself in mind, if need shall be. By these turn thyself away from the examples of certain women. It is not lawful for believers to marry otherwise: it is not expedient.
NOTE O, ON PAGE 421.
Tertullian here, not less explicitly because incidentally, allows of marriage after divorce. Only, here, from the context, it appears that it is marriage of a woman, who has divorced her husband, not been divorced by him. The same is implied in the adv. Marc. iv. 34. “That marriage abideth which is not duly severed. To marry, while a marriage abideth, is adultery. Thus, if He conditionally prohibited to put away a wife, He did not wholly prohibit it; and what He did not wholly prohibit, He permitted in other cases, in which the cause for which He prohibited it, no longer exists.” i.e. Marriage was not to be severed by man, he was not to “put away his wife, for the sake of marrying another;” (ib.) but if the marriage was severed by God, through death, or ipso facto broken through adultery, so that they ceased to be one, in either case alike it ceased. A new marriage was adultery, only while the former endured; and it endured until it was duly severed; but since adultery of the divorced was such a severance, a new marriage, according to T.’s argument, ceased to be adultery. It is remarkable that Pamelius and others explain away this testimony of Tertullian, being opposed to the Roman practice, by reference to the treatise de Monog. c. 9. 10. written against the Church, and because he there does not allow of the marriage of the divorcing party, infer that neither does he here; forgetting, that he there rejects second marriage altogether, even of the widowed, which he here admits. Epiphanius (Hær. 59. c. 4. quoted by Bingham, 22. 2. 12.) allows remarriage, in case of the marriage being dissolved by adultery; the Apostolic Constit. (iii. 1.) speak of “one who has lost her husband by death or any other occasion, having the gift of widowhood,” and declares her “blessed” “if she abide by herself,” implying plainly that if she had not the gift, she might marry; Ambrosiaster (in 1 Cor. 7:15.) allows re-marriage when the heathen party departed, as being sin against the Author of marriage, but he thinks that in the case of adultery, 1 Cor. 7:11. permits it to the man only. S. Jerome Ep. 55. ad Amand. §. 3. thinks it forbidden to the woman by Rom. 7. and 1 Cor. 7:39.; but in that he mentions as remarkable, (Ep. 77. ad Ocean, de morte Fabiolæ,) that one did penance for it, this, (as Bingham observes,) does not seem to have been then required; himself also calls it “a fault” only, (§. 3, 4.) excuses it on the ground of “necessity,” calls the marriage “the shadow of a miserable marriage.” S. Basil Ep. Can. i. can. 9. thinks the man pardonable, and his second wife not to be condemned, but that the woman is prohibited by the custom of the Church. Origen mentions that even some Bishops permitted it in the case of women, but regards it as a concession to infirmity, as contrary to the letter of Rom. 7:3. 1 Cor. 7:39. (in Matt. 19:8. Tom. xiv. §. 23.) Lactantius Instt. vi. 23 fin. thinks Scripture admits it in the case of the man, (about the woman he is silent;) as do the Conc. Venetic. (A. 465.) can. 2. the [so-called] Synod. S. Patricii, can. 26. the Synod. Roman, under Leo IV. (A. 853.) can. 36. Bituric. (A. 1031.) can. 16. Lemovic. ii. can. 15. quoted by Coteler. Patr. Ap. i. p. 88. The law ascribed to Constantine, permitting it in three cases only, (ib.) perhaps had the sanction of the Church; although the later civil laws were laxer than those of the Church; the 1st Council of Arles (A. 312.) advises against re-marriage in such cases, does not forbid it; S. Augustine dissuades from it, but thinks it a venial error; on the other hand it is peremptorily called adultery by Hermas, Pastor ii. 4. Innocent I. Ep. 6. ad Exup. c. 6. S. Jerome in Matt. 19, 9. Yet in a case of extreme sin of the husband, it was allowed even to women, in a decree attributed to Pope Zachary, (ap. Gratian Caus. 32. q. 7. c. 23. Bingham l. c.) but taken from the Pœnitentiale ap. Burchard. 1. 19. c. 5. and by the Council of Vermeriæ, (A. 753.) can. 18. by Pope Gregory III. (A. 726.) to a man, even in the case of infirmity only. (ib. c. 18. and note, ed Richter.) The Council of Vermeriæ (can. 10.) allowed it to men in an aggravated case only, (ib.) The Council of Trent (Sess. 24. can. 7.) does not directly anathematize those who hold that “marriage is dissolved by adultery,” but those who say “that the Church erred in teaching that it was not.” Coteler. (l. c.) states it to be “still held by the Greeks and Armenians that adultery dissolves marriage.” It might seem from one expression in the adv. Marc. iv. 34. that T. allowed of the marriage not only of the injured but of the adulterous party; in that he says, “he that marrieth one unlawfully put away, as being not put away, is an adulterer;” but this seems rather incidentally said, as applying our Lord’s words, than as implying that one marrying one lawfully put away is no adulterer; for the adulteress does not cease to be such, because put away; and Tert.’s strong feeling of the unlawfulness that the members of Christ should become the members of an harlot, would prevent his accounting such a marriage lawful and Christian. Such marriage is allowed, after the husband’s death, by S. Augustine (de Nupt. et Conc. i. 10. de Bon. Conjug. c. 14.) and the Council of Eliberis, (can. 9.) which also forbids any other, (can. 72. Bingham l. c. §. 13.) but forbidden by the Synod. Forojul. (c. 10. ap. Coteler. l. c.) and by the Roman Court except under dispensation.