Disciple as a Tested One

their service. They did a physical exam and did a blood test on Samira. The blood test results were negative. It was a little hope but was so painful to go through to see what would be the next results. Then the Doctors did a bone marrow test. It was around 4:00pm on February 19th, Chandrakala and I were near Samira's bed as she was still in the sleep from the sedation after her bone marrow test. We were praying in our hearts and waiting and waiting to know the results of the bone marrow test. Then the Doctor came back after a while and as eager parents, we stood up to hear from the doctor. He asked if we would like to sit down. Thinking that everything would be all right, we said we are ok. Then the doctor said ' She has Leukemia'. Our hearts are broken down with sorrow and sadness. We felt like we reached the dead end of the life's road. I couldn't stand anymore. I sat down as my body dropped down into the chair behind me and Chandrakala continued to ask the doctor several question. Like any father who love their children so dearly, I cried out to the Lord, 'Lord don't take her way as I can't live without her'. I cried out, 'Samira, don't leave me, I can't live without you'. It was so much temptation and loneliness. Our hearts were filled with unbearable sorrow. The fear took control of our hearts in our weakness. The next immediate question that came into the mind was, if the Lord wants Samira in heaven, she will be surely in heaven for her faithfulness to the God at the age of three and half years, but where am I heading to. Will I get there to see Samira when my life's journey is finished on this earth. The words Samira used to read during the family prayer time pierced through my heart – “Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” – Ps 23:5. We continued to seek God's help and prayed every moment. The Doctor explained about the illness and consequences and chances of survival. It was a long wait to hear from the doctors to know what kind of Leukemia Samira has. The doctor came back with the further test results and conveyed that Samira has ALL (Acute Lymphocytes Leukemia) in her bone marrow and it can be curable with the chemotherapy. We struggled within our hearts as we had very little knowledge of the disease. Chandrakala came back home that night to take care of our four months old son Sujay. I knelt by Samira's bed and prayed the whole night. We had to wake her up in the middle of the night for X-Ray and blood tests. On the 20th of February morning, Dr. Joseph Wiley walked into Samira's room. Perhaps he came in early to see Samira. I couldn't control myself when I saw him and broke down and cried out ' I want Samira back, please save her'. He knows how much pain any parent may go through when their child is sick like Samira. He offered me a chair to sit and he squat next to my chair and tried to console. He said, “ I will treat Samira like my own child'. At that time I could see him not only as a Doctor, but I could experience God's love through him. Rev & Mrs. David Ravinder came from New Jersey on Feb. 20th early morning to stay with us during the treatment as they love our children so dearly and they stayed with us for two days and gave us lot of courage and they prayed for Samira. We informed Rev. Bill Brown and Epworth United Methodist Church family in Cockeysville, who gave us so much strength by their prayers and words of encouragement. Rev. Bill Brown and Epworth church family always stood by our side. The doctors came on Friday morning and explained about the treatment and consequences of not curing the disease and the side effects of the treatment. But not sure of how Samira will respond to the treatment, it was so painful for us to go through. There was no time to think and decide what to do. God is not too early nor too late. We continued to pray for Samira as a family. We called Rev. Arun Andrews on Feb. 21st and informed of Samira's Condition, who moved in tears and prayed for Samira. We also informed our church in Cockeysville - Epworth church family, friends and family in India and asked to pray for Samira. Sometimes we feel so hopeless of the things and situation, but God still gives us hope – 'Praise be to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! He has given us a LIVING HOPE through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:3'

Samira always sings the bible song 'Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so..'. We as a family gathered in Samira's room and sang her favorite song 'Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so'. The words penetrated though our hearts to know how much God loves us and how much Samira is experiencing of God's love. When we gather for the family prayer in the evenings, Samira wants to read the bible and she reads Psalm 23. When the fever reduced and when she is able to speak and knowing that she is feeling better, she said 'Jesus healed me, Jesus is in my heart, Jesus made me strong'. Samira's faith gave us so much strength. Psalm 103:3 clearly tell us that God heals all our diseases. Jesus raised the girl who was dead; Jesus healed the blind – John chapter 9 tells of Jesus healing the blind man. It makes me guilty some times that we seek God's help when we are in deep trouble. We go through many painful situations in the life. But the Bible tells us, 'Be joyful, always; Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus' 1Ths 5:16-18. “My Son, do not make light of the Lord's disciplines, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves and He punishes everyone he accepts as a son' – Hebrew 12:5-6. Luke Chapter 9 reminds that we need to follow Jesus as his Disciples. It also comes to a realization how important it is to support one another in prayer as followers of Jesus. We as a family were really touched by God's love when we saw that we are surrounded by God's children. It's a true experience of God's love to know that God's children far and near are praying endlessly for Samira. We thank God for all who are praying for Samira. Several friends keep enquiring about Samira's health and treatment and encourage us through their prayers. Several Church families keep constantly praying for Samira. We are thankful to God for all of them and we keep all of them in our daily prayers. As Samira continues with her treatment for another two years, it's a long journey, but surely God will lead us through. “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and he will do this” Psalm 37:5 “ Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him” Psalm 37:7 In these very difficult times of trials, personally and as family these words are my source of inspiration, source for holding on to the Lord, asking for His mercy, asking for His guidance, asking Him to make us strong… I never questioned Him why this happened to my little angel, rather I asked Him to stand beside us and help us to get through this and ask Him to bring back Samira as a living witness to the altar. Samira has been a source of inspiration to all of us the way she fights back, the way she believes in Jesus. Sometimes she prays saying “Thank you Jesus for staying in my heart and making me strong”. God gave us the strength we needed as parents not to cry in front of kids. As far as I am concerned I am still clinging on to the promise “ Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him” Psalm 37:7 All these days Lord has been wonderful and thought me to give thanks to God for each and every little thing that we take it for granted, He thought me to appreciate life more. It is amazing to see how God gives strength to these tiny little kids the strength to fight back, the optimism in life and best of all is the struggle for existence … I learn a lot from Samira. I believe that what we are experiencing today is His Grace and His Love.