The Third Word: “Mulier, ecce filius tuus.” “Ecce, mater tuus.”
“When Jesus therefore had seen His Mother and the disciple whom He loved standing there, He saith to His Mother: ‘Woman, behold thy son.’ After that, He saith to the disciple: ‘Behold thy Mother.’ And from that hour, the disciple took her to his own.”
—John 19:26–27
Saint Bonaventure’s Meditation on the Third Word
The third leaf on the vine of the cross and the third string upon our mystical lyre is the words: “Woman, behold thy son,” and, “Behold, thy Mother.”58 How sweet and delightful are these words; how miraculous and replete with compassion they are!
In the Gospels, we do not frequently read of the good and kind Jesus dining or conversing with His Mother. But the depth of His filial affection towards her is fully revealed in these few syllables which He spoke as He approached His earthly death. Even if I should refrain from speaking about the sufferings of Christ Himself in His passion, how heartbreaking and poignant were the pains experienced by His blessed Mother, whose most gentle and angelic heart was pierced by the cruelest sword of bitter pain! The woes of the Son were immeasurably increased by the sight of His beloved Mother’s anguish and grief, as her eyes flowed with torrents of tears, her voice trembled, and her whole being was concentrated upon the agonies of her crucified child.
I imagine Mary to have stood with her head covered, on account both of the immensity of her sorrow and her virginal modesty. How often she must have cried out as she wept, “Jesus, my Son! Who will grant me that I may die in place of You, my Son, or that I may now meet my own death with You?” How many times must she have raised her tear-filled eyes to His bleeding wounds, and again turned them away, overcome by sheer horror and grief? I marvel that she herself did not also succumb to death, so great were the waves of anguish which engulfed her!
While still living, she died with her Son in her heart; and, by continuing to live, she bore a sting which was more bitter than that of death!
Yet, lest she might not utterly despair, the Blessed Virgin was consoled lovingly by her Son. For, as she stood bravely by the cross, He said to her: “Woman, behold thy son.” It was as if Christ had said, “Although you will be separated from Me physically, yet I give to you the disciple whom I have loved beyond all others. In My absence, his faithful presence shall console you, and he shall protect and serve you.” And likewise, He spoke words of encouragement to Saint John, who also stood before the cross: “O John, though You shall soon lose Me, who has been like a father to you, now I bequeath to you My own most beloved Mother to be a mother to you.”
O, how compassionate and generous You are, O good Jesus! For You have given all that You possessed to others! For those who crucified You, You offered prayers; to the repentant thief, You gave paradise; now to Your Mother, You have assigned an adopted son; and to Your beloved disciple, You have bestowed a loving and pious Mother. And, very soon, You shall give Your immortal soul into the hands of Your eternal Father, and Your mortal body to the earth (for a short time) in burial. And Your very life’s blood, You poured out without reservation for the salvation of the world!
Jesus, Light, and King of glory,
Son of God and Son of Man,
Jesus, beautiful flower of chastity, Innocent Child of the glorious Virgin.
When this Virgin, Your beloved Mother, stood by the cross,
How bitterly she wept,
As she beheld You hanging from the merciless wood:
With what anguish, with what intensity of mourning, was she afflicted!
Indeed, she almost fainted, as one utterly overcome by sorrow.
When you looked upon Your beloved Mother,
You saw also Your beloved disciple,
The faithful servant of God, Saint John.
And speaking to both in a voice of melting and dulcet compassion,
You kindly commended Your beloved Mother to Your beloved disciple,
Uttering a prophetic and mystical oracle and saying:
“Woman, behold thy son.”59
Arnold’s Commentary on the Third Word60
“Where are your mercies of old, O Lord?”61 Why do You delay? For now the hour of need hast most truly come!
O Lord, Your beloved Mother and Your beloved disciple, John, both stand in Your presence, at the foot of the cross. Shall you speak to the thief who dies beside You, and not speak to Your loving Mother? This woman—the most blessed among all women—fixes her tear-filled eyes upon You, and gazes upon Your wounds with the tenderness of maternal compassion. Although she knows full well that Your suffering and death will confer infinite benefits and goodness upon the world, yet she is afflicted by a mother’s anguish, and her immaculate heart is pierced with untold sorrows.
How passionately she sighs from the depth of her being, and tries in vain to hold back the rivers of tears which flow from her eyes! But her attempts to restrain her mourning only cause her grief to swell up within her even more tumultuously, and thus she is almost dissolved in her lamentations. Every so often, a wail partially escapes from her throat, only for her to strive to contain it within herself, to swallow it back into her heart, as it were. And thus her cries, not permitted to issue forth in full, collide and mingle with each other inside her bosom, echoing in a bitter and agitated internal whirlpool.
Thus it is that a storm rages within her soul, tempestuous gales of grief blow through her heart, and ebullient bitterness boils in her veins. Yet the rabid and cruel crowds press in upon her, and so she dares not give full rein to her grief. Indeed, she would have very willingly died at that moment, but (by the decrees of Providence) was not then permitted to leave this world, for her presence here was still very much needed.
As Christ made the supreme sacrifice on the cross, another parallel sacrifice also took place within the heart of His Virgin Mother. The sacrifice on the cross arises like incense into the presence of the unseen Father, while the sacrifice in the interior of Mary’s heart is the fire of her pain and the libation of her tears. Hence it was that two altars were used within the ancient tent of worship: the bronze altar of sacrifice and the golden altar of incense.62 One of these altars pre-figured the body of Christ, and the other pre-figured the heart of Mary. Christ offered His flesh, while Mary offered her soul. But how she longed to unite to this offering of her soul the sacrifice of her flesh and blood! How desperately she stretched out her hands to embrace her Son upon the cross, desiring above all to be completely united with Him, and with Jesus to consummate the mystery of our salvation!
But this was a privilege reserved for the Son of God alone, who was the High Priest of the new covenant, so that His most holy blood should be an unmixed and immaculate oblation. He was able to share this duty and dignity with no one else, neither any human being nor any angel. Nevertheless, the sorrows of His Mother did partake in some mysterious way to the propitiation of the justice of God, according to their proper mode and manner.
For Jesus offered both His own love and that of His blessed Mother to God the Father, as an expiation for our sins and antidote for our sorrows. Hence it is that whatever the Mother seeks, the Son shall approve of, and the Father will unfailingly bestow. For just as the Father gazes compassionately upon the cross and wounds of His Son, so does the Son look lovingly upon the mournful countenance and weeping eyes of His Mother.
Who is there who will not be deeply touched with compunction at this piteous scene? And what does this teach us but the lesson of holy compassion? What does it instruct us in, except for mercy? For the love of the Mother, the sanctity of the Son, and the charity of the Father can never be opposed or contrary to each other.
Thus it was that Jesus commended to us the mystical sense of the ancient commandment, “Honor thy mother and thy father.” And thus it was that He willed her to survive, as a consoler, guide, and teacher to the apostles. For she had heard and seen everything which He had done since the very beginning of His life, and treasured all these things within her heart.63 And so she served as an instructress to the assembly of the apostles, confirming and verifying for them both the doctrine and narrative of the Gospel.
At this time, Mary was honored with a most heart-felt and profound utterance from Christ. His words to her were very brief, yet they are filled with intimate filial affection and convey a most singular and particular love. “Woman,” He said to her, “behold thy son!” It was John, who was present at the time, of whom He spoke. And to this same John, He then said, “Behold, thy Mother!”
For Christ would not permit that the malice and envy of His foes should lay their profane hands upon His Mother, who had been His own holy sanctuary, nor would He allow them to violate her, who was a true temple of the Holy Spirit. He therefore appointed a faithful custodian to guard and protect such a precious treasure. This was the same disciple, John, who had reclined upon the breast of the Lord at the Last Supper.64 And, behold, now he is honored with yet another unique privilege. Thus it was that the holy maiden, she in whom “the Word [was] made flesh, and dwelt among us,”65 was diligently assigned to the care of John by the same divine Son, “the Word who was with God in the beginning.”66 Her virginal and immaculate chastity was entrusted to this beloved disciple. Saint John, who was, according to ancient traditions, also a virgin, became the protector and helper of the Virgin Mother of his Lord. And, out of reverence for this Lord and love for His Mother, he served as a devout servant, perfect in his fidelity and diligence.
The Blessed Virgin Mary, having been separated from her natural Son, accepted the youthful John as her adopted child, and showed to him maternal care and affection. They were united as mother and son, not out of any connection of nature or the flesh, but from the same heavenly grace that established them in the most perfect concord. The chastity of these two virgins, Mary and John, united them also. Together, they formed a single harmonious household.
O Saint John, you were chosen as the guardian of the Lord’s most precious treasure, His own dear Mother. In this singular privilege, you were given an honor that is higher than any other. And Saint Joseph, when he came to know of Christ’s decision, gladly acceded to His desire.67 He raised no complaints on the grounds of his marital bond with Mary, for, indeed, though they were formally married in the eyes of the world, their marriage was without physical union, and so could be dissolved without any violation of divine law. Indeed, by entrusting Mary to the care of John, Christ was offering an undeniable proof of her life-long virginity, and the entirely chaste nature of her relationship with Joseph.
You, Saint John, were chosen to minister to Mary, with all the love and diligence of a son serving his mother. You were chosen to obey her, with all the obedience a disciple owes to his lord, and to be subject to her as a humble servant. To Saint Peter was commended the Church; but to you was commended the Mother of God! To Peter was entrusted a complex, tempestuous and perilous undertaking, but you were made the guardian of peace and tranquility. To Peter’s care were assigned the vestibule of the temple and the altar of sacrifice; to your care was assigned the altar of incense and the Holy of Holies.
The particular role of adopted son and guardian of the Blessed Virgin was given to you alone. You alone defended this vessel of pure gold containing heaven’s finest manna. You were granted the place of the Son, and you were ordained to serve as a son to the Mother of God. Although, of course, no one could ever be worthy of this honor, Jesus Himself chose you as His successor in this unique role.
You had once been a fisherman, and had been trained in this art by your father. You had no claim to earthly dignity. But the God who chooses the poor and humble of this world commended the glory of poverty and humility to us all by choosing you as His Mother’s adopted son. He selected you for this single honor, not because of your riches or high social standing, but because of your purity of heart and charity.
I like to imagine a four-fold connection, whereby the soul may ascend readily and securely to God the Father. You, O Saint John, lead us to the glorious Mother. The Blessed Mother then takes us unfailingly to her divine Son, and through the Son alone we may approach the invisible Father. This four-fold stairway thus leads us from the darkness of this present world to the most sublime heights of heaven, and even what lies beyond the highest heavens! You, John, are like a silver column, raising us to share the intimate filial closeness which you enjoyed with Mary. And the Blessed Virgin in turn is like a pathway of finest purple silk, bringing us to her immortal Son. The Son Himself is a splendid avenue of mystical love, of radiant and refulgent brilliance. And the Son takes us safely to the golden resting place of the pure vision of the Father, in all its ineffable beauty, and eternal and perfect tranquility!
Saint Bonaventure’s Prayer
O wondrous exchange, O miraculous disparity!
How great this desolation, how cruel this bitterness,
Which pierced the tender heart of the Mother of God!
A human guardian is assigned to this glorious Mother:
In place of the Lord, she is given a mere disciple;
In exchange for the One who was true God, she is given a poor mortal;
In place of the King of the Universe, she accepts a simple worker.
Even thus, I commend myself, wretch that I am, to Your grace, O Jesus!
I humbly commit myself to Your merciful providence.
May the glorious Virgin pray for me, and stand before You as my advocate.
In the midst of the vortex of sin and iniquity by which I am surrounded,
May I always abide secure and firm in my faith. Amen.68
Saint Bonaventure’s Hymn
From the cross, Thy eyes perceived
Holy Mary, sorely grieved.
Flowed her tears like falling rain,
Broken-hearted, sunk in pain!By the cross, may we too stand,
Hold Thy Mother’s gentle hand,
Gaze with her upon her Son,
Let our tears, with Mary’s, run.Guard us by the Virgin’s care,
Make us in her love to share—
Let us all her children be,
One with her, in love for Thee.
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57 “Woman, behold thy son.” “Behold, thy Mother.”
58 From Bonaventure’s Vitis Mystica.
59 From Bonaventure’s De Septem Verbis Domini in Cruce.
60 From Arnold of Bonneval’s Tractatus de Septem Verbis Domini in Cruce.
61 See Psalm 88.
62 See Exodus 30:1–6; 39:5–10.
63 See Luke 2:19.
64 See John 13:23.
65 John 1:14.
66 John 1:1.
67 Most commentators suggest that Saint Joseph had already died at the time of the crucifixion, but Arnold’s interpretation of the situation is different. He suggests that, because the relationship of Mary and Joseph was not of a physical nature, there was no difficulty in Joseph permitting Mary to be taken under John’s care, in accordance with Christ’s wishes.
68 From Bonaventure’s De Septem Verbis Domini in Cruce.