Chapter 8: Death of Newman’s Father
CHAPTER 8
DEATH OF NEWMAN’S FATHER
JOHN Henry had a good relationship with his father, characterized by the respect and the restrained affection proper to English custom. John Henry admired his father’s hard work and honesty and the care for his family. From school, he wrote almost forty letters to his father. These were usually short, versing on specific details about studies or finances. In general, the letters to his parents were like a dutiful report of activities, almost indicating a certain emotional distance; yet he did have affection for his parents. Naturally, both parents were proud of their son’s responsibility and accomplishments at Oxford. On his twenty-first birthday, Mrs. Newman wrote “I thank God, it is a day of rejoicing to us all; to your Father and me, that it has given us a Son who has uniformly persevered in improving the talents given to him, and in forming his character both morally and religiously to virtue. And now that we have no more the dear child, we may boast instead, a companion, counselor and friend.”1
Mr. Newman, who followed closely his son’s progress, also wrote him, although much fewer letters than Mrs. Newman. He always encouraged John Henry in his studies and trusted in the plans that the older brother made for Frank at Oxford. Mr. Newman’s letters express gratitude toward God and trust in Divine Providence. In October 1821, while experiencing serious financial concerns, Mr. Newman conveyed to John Henry his serene acceptance of God’s assistance gained through prayer and attendance to church services.
Mr. Newman observed religious practices, but disliked excess in religious fervor and worried about the path that John Henry and Frank were following. One Sunday he corrected them for intransigence in their Evangelical practices. He rightly chided them for holding a rigid interpretation of moral norms, when they refused to write a business letter that he asked them to write, claiming that it would be a violation of the Third Commandment. He warned John Henry of excesses in religion and, interestingly, foretold his departure from the Evangelical religion.
Mr. Newman sought the best education for his oldest son and wished to prepare him for a future livelihood. With this end in mind, when the brewery business failed, he encouraged his son to take up law. When John Henry refused his father’s plans, Mr. Newman did not oppose him. He recognized that John Henry’s talents would serve a higher cause and sensed the futility of trying to change his son’s plans. After this second failure of his father’s businesses, the young Newman did everything possible to earn money and pay for his own expenses and Francis’s schooling by teaching pupils and writing articles. Newman did not wish for his father to worry about the cost of Francis’s education. In December of 1822, he wrote to his father, “As to Francis, you will very much distress me, if you think at all of the money about him. He is in no want of it; he has paid his entrance money etc and he will have plenty when he comes up to reside.”2
Despite his hard work, Mr. Newman had been beset by repeated business failures that affected his health and from which he never recovered. Years later, John Henry wrote a long note defending the actions and good name of his father throughout these failures. It became typical of Newman to write summaries of past events, in part for future reference and the sake of justice but also in part out of an excessive sensibility for others’ opinions.
In July of 1824, Mrs. Newman sent her son a message from his father: “Your Father desires his love [sic]. He talked of writing to you, but, when the time comes, he generally declines, knowing you will accept his love through me.”3 Then on September 19, Newman heard from his mother the unexpected news that his father was ill and was being attended by a physician. Mr. Newman was dying. John Henry immediately traveled to London and remained next to his father during the last days of his life. Upon seeing him, Mr. Newman put out his hand to greet his son and said, “God bless you.”4 He was calm and composed and, shortly before dying, asked his son to read aloud the 33rd chapter of Isaiah. Mr. Newman died on September 29; he was only fifty-nine years of age.
Newman grieved at his father’s death, yet was supported by his faith in eternal life. The scene of his father’s lifeless corpse gripped Newman with a sense of the soul’s immaterial and immortal nature, leading him to a philosophical consideration which he jotted down in his Autobiographical Writings: “Can a man be a materialist who sees a dead body?”5 It was a perceptive insight into the separation of soul and body at the moment of death, especially for a young man who had not yet witnessed the death of many.
On October 6, with three uncles and other family members in attendance, the remains of Mr. Newman were buried. The young Newman was now the head of the family. Two weeks later, John Henry, back at Oxford, sent a consoling letter to his mother in which he wrote: “The days will come, when one after another, we shall drop away like leaves from the tree. But, being, as we trust, in Christ, we shall meet one and all in Heaven to part no more … we shall meet, as our hope is, him, whom we have just lost.”6 This was the first death of a loved one for John Henry, and it brought him to consider the promise of Heaven in a real and personal manner.
In these circumstances, Mrs. Newman, who still had a small family fortune from her parents, considered the uncertain future of her children and expressed the desire to see John Henry married before her death. He replied that he had chosen to live a celibate life, and to teach at a college or to go as a missionary to a foreign land. Since his adolescence, he had had a sense that his mission in life called for the sacrifice of celibacy. At his father’s death, the thought of the finitude of earthly life and the eternity of Heaven only increased his resolve to live a celibate life. Newman envisioned celibacy as way of dedication, or a way to be fully devoted to his responsibilities, without the tug of a home life. He continued his course to receive Holy Orders in the Anglican Church.
Newman was only twenty-three when all the family responsibility fell upon his shoulders. From Oxford, where he continued at Oriel College, and until 1826 at St. Clement’s Parish, he provided financial assistance, moral support, and guidance to his mother and siblings. His sense of responsibility for the family and his generosity were among the many virtues that animated his entire life, beginning at Oxford.
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1LD, Vol. II, Mrs. Newman to JHN (February 21, 1822), 122.
2LD, Vol. I, JHN to Mr. Newman (Dec. 5, 1822), 156.
3LD, Vol I, Mrs. Newman to JHN (July 16, 1824), 178.
4AW, 202.
5AW, 203.
6LD, Vol. I, JHN to Mrs. Newman (October 18, 1824), 195.