Relationship Ii “Our Father In Heaven”
Relationship II
“Our Father in heaven”
President Herbert Hoover liked to use the phrase “rugged individualism” to describe the resolute character that helped to build the United States. His successor in office, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, modified the concept when he said, “I believe in individualism . . . up to the point where the individual starts to operate at the expense of society.” It’s a small step from individualism to selfishness; and when too many people decide to live as they please, the results are likely to be confusion, fragmentation, and possible destruction. We need each other, especially when it comes to the life of prayer.
Each of us is a unique individual, and our individuality is important and valuable because God gave it to us. We must identify it, give thanks for it, and put it to work for the good of others and the glory of God. All of us are made from the dust, but we were cast in different molds. We are the same and yet we are different. It’s our individuality that enables each of us to make a special contribution to society, but we must never confuse individuality with individualism, rugged or otherwise. “True solitude is the home of the person,” wrote Thomas Merton, “false solitude the refuge of the individualist.”11
American naturalist and writer Henry David Thoreau claimed that he “marched to a different drummer.” But during the two years, two months, and two days he lived at Walden Pond, he never got very far away from his family home in Concord, Massachusetts. He was a temporary recluse, not a lifelong hermit. Furthermore, Thoreau was able to live at Walden Pond because of his friend Ralph Waldo Emerson. Emerson gave him permission to cut down the trees and build the cabin on his property, and he even loaned Thoreau an axe. “It is difficult to begin without borrowing,” Thoreau wrote in Walden, and then he boasted that he had returned the axe to Emerson sharper than when he received it.
Thoreau determined to have margins in his life, and it was a wise decision. We all need margins; otherwise, even the people we love may rob us of the room we need for thinking, praying, and growing. But solitude is only one side of the coin. We also need connections, relationships with people who can challenge us, teach us, and encourage us, even if occasionally they irritate us. We have no right to “do our own thing” at the expense of society. This is especially true for those of us who are followers of Jesus Christ. We may not find it difficult to get along with ourselves when we’re alone, but how well do we get along with others?
To live above with saints we love,
Will certainly be glory.
To live below with saints we know—
Well, that’s another story.
I learned that bit of doggerel while in seminary, and more than sixty years of Christian life and ministry have convinced me that it’s true, especially when we pray. However, we can learn to love the saints below if we will pray for them when we approach the divine throne of grace in heaven.
It’s one thing to say that God is a Father and quite something else to say that God is our Father. The possessive pronoun our is clearly plural, so to whom does it refer? The Lord’s Prayer is used so widely by people of different beliefs that you might think Jesus gave this prayer to everybody in the world, but he didn’t.
Some Bible students believe that the Lord’s Prayer is for everybody because God is the “Father” of all human beings. They quote Malachi 2:10 to prove their point: “Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us?” But they need to finish the quotation and discover that the verse refers, not to everybody everywhere, but specifically to the nation of Israel: “Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another?” As far as I know, the nation of Israel and the church of Jesus Christ are the only people in this world with whom God has made covenants.
However, since God did create the first man and woman, there is a sense in which every human being can claim God as Father not by salvation but by creation. Moses called him “God of every human spirit” (Num. 16:22; 27:15–17), and Hebrews 12:9 calls him “the Father of spirits.” Paul took this approach in his famous address to the Greek philosophers in Athens (Acts 17:22–31), affirming that nobody should make gods because the one true God has made all of us. As far as our humanity is concerned, we are “God’s offspring” (v. 29). God is the Father of humankind because he is the Creator of humankind.
But being born into the human family doesn’t automatically make us members of God’s family, nor does it give us the privilege of prayer. It’s by being born again through faith in Jesus Christ the Savior that we become children of God. “For you have been born again, not of perishable seed [human conception] but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God” (1 Peter 1:23, and see John 3:1–18). How do we know we are truly God’s children? “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children” (Rom. 8:16). When we read the Bible, when we share in congregational worship, when we meet another believer, when we do a good deed in the name of Jesus, the Spirit affirms within us that we belong to the family of God.
If God utterly abandoned any part of his creation, including the human family, the result would be decay and death. Paul told the Greek philosophers that it is God who “gives everyone life and breath and everything else” (Acts 17:25). Like a loving father, God cares for his creation. The sun rises on the evil and the good, and the rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matt. 5:43–45). The Lord gives us “the ability to produce wealth” (Deut. 8:18) so that we can work and eat and pay our bills.
It’s because of God’s goodness and grace that we have what we need. “God saw everything that he had made, and it was very good” (Gen. 1:31). In spite of what generations of people have done to pollute and waste God’s bounteous gifts to us, we can still survive on Planet Earth. Only in this sense is God the Father of humankind.
The Lord’s Prayer doesn’t advocate selfish individualism. It doesn’t begin with the words “My Father”; it begins with “Our Father.” Our relationship to the Lord is our most important relationship in life. Because we’re in fellowship with the Father, we can enjoy fellowship with his children. “If we say we love God yet hate a brother or sister, we are liars. For if we do not love a fellow believer, whom we have seen, we cannot love God, whom we have not seen” (1 John 4:20).
Certainly it’s a high privilege for us to belong to the family of God and know the heavenly Father, the glorified Son, and the indwelling Holy Spirit. But with this privilege comes the unavoidable responsibility of calling other believers our brothers and sisters in Christ. That’s why we say our and we and us when we pray the Lord’s Prayer. To ignore these plural pronouns is to rob ourselves of blessing and to weaken the church.
If we follow our Lord’s directions and go into our room and shut the door to pray, there will probably be fewer distractions (Matt. 6:6); but physical separation must not become spiritual and emotional isolation from other people. Jesus prayed in solitude and so should we (Mark 1:35), but praying in solitude is not the same as praying alone. We can never be alone. Wherever I go, the Lord is with me, and I carry in my mind and heart many people who often find their way into my prayers. For some of them, I give thanks and joyfully pray for them (Phil. 1:1–6); for others, I feel pain and ask God to help them and to give me the opportunity to help them. These needy people may interrupt my prayers and send me on an errand.
Let me explain.
Jesus told about a worshiper who brought a gift to the altar, only to discover that, in his mind and heart, he had brought with him a brother who was holding something against him. The worshiper wasn’t alone after all! “Go and be reconciled to that person,” counseled Jesus; “then come and offer your gift” (Matt. 5:23–26). Repairing a friendship is, in God’s sight, as important as offering a valuable sacrifice.
Paul wrote to the men in every Christian congregation, “Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing” (1 Tim. 2:8). In my imagination I see a man about to lift his hands in prayer, but in his mind’s eye he sees a Christian brother standing next to him, a brother with whom he had disputed in a rude and angry way. So the worshiper puts down his hands, goes and finds his brother, apologizes to him, and invites him to return to the prayer meeting with him. Being able to talk to a brother in love is as important as being able to talk to God.
In 1 Peter, the apostle calls to mind the image of a husband during his morning devotions. As he reads his Bible and meditates, he senses that his wife is there with him, and she is quietly weeping. Then he recalls that he had been unkind and inconsiderate toward her, and he knows he can’t pray sincerely until the matter is settled. So he leaves the prayer closet, apologizes to his wife, and kisses her, and together they bow and gratefully talk to God (1 Peter 3:7). It’s proper for us to tell God how much we love him, but at times telling others that we love them is equally important.
I recall sitting in my study one morning, trying to prepare a sermon, and the well was dry. The fresh breath of the Spirit wasn’t blowing. I put my arms on the desk and my head on my arms and began to pray desperately. As I asked the Lord to remove the obstacles, the face of a brother I had offended immediately came to my mind and interrupted my prayer. I phoned the brother, who lived in another city, and apologized for my sin. We prayed together, and the matter was settled. Turning back to my studies, I felt the wind of the Spirit blowing, and the waters began to flow!
God may have to interrupt our prayers occasionally to teach us the important fact that we never pray alone.
Disconnection is a major problem in today’s world. Nation fights against nation, race challenges race, the rich take advantage of the poor, the powerful walk on the weak, and “love your neighbor” is forgotten like an old advertising slogan. But while the enemy is trying to wreck society, Jesus Christ and his faithful church are putting people together. “Whoever is not with me is against me,” said Jesus, “and whoever does not gather with me scatters” (Matt. 12:30). God’s ultimate goal in history is “to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ” (Eph. 1:10), and he will succeed . In the Ephesian letter, Paul emphasizes the unity of Christ’s church and writes about “the whole building” (2:10), “every family” (3:15), and “the whole body” (4:16). He reminds us that the day will come when Jesus Christ will “fill the whole universe” (4:10). Until that happens, our task is to be “gatherers” who are helping to unite things in every aspect of life.
As a Christian, I’m not a physical unit in a religious organization. I’m a living part of a miraculous spiritual unity in Christ—a member of one body (1 Cor. 12:12–14), a stone in one temple (Eph. 2:19–22; 1 Peter 2:4–7), a branch in one vine (John 15:1–9), to name but a few of the New Testament images of the church. All Christians are different, and yet we are all united in Christ. Regardless of race, color, gender, political or economic status, believers are “all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:26–29). Unity without diversity is uniformity, and diversity without unity is anarchy; but unity and diversity combined by the Holy Spirit in the church will produce a dynamic life of sacrifice and service that can change the world.
The words “Our Father” remind us not to pray selfishly for anything that would hurt or harm another believer or another church. Here’s a scene from the New Testament that illustrates what I mean.
Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him [Jesus]. “What is it you want?” he asked. She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.” “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?” “We can,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.” When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:20–28
We can admire a great deal in this event. A mother wanted the very best for her sons, so she humbled herself before the Lord and asked for a favor. Her prayer was specific as she claimed the kingdom promise Christ had spoken earlier (Matt. 19:28). And what were the results of her prayer? Her request was rejected, her sons were rebuked, and the ten other disciples were resentful. Her prayer didn’t glorify Jesus; it grieved him. It didn’t bring blessing to the twelve; it divided them and created anger and envy. But one good thing came out of the event: we today can learn from it.
James explains what really happened. “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” (James 4:1–3). This passage describes three “wars” that may be going on in our own lives today. We’re at war with others because we’re at war with ourselves, and we’re at war with ourselves because we’re at war with God.
Three moving prayers of confession are in the Old Testament—Ezra 9, Nehemiah 9, and Daniel 9—and in each the pronoun we is used frequently. Ezra, Nehemiah, and Daniel weren’t personally guilty of the sins confessed in these prayers, but they identified themselves with the people who did commit them. Instead of making excuses or blaming others, they came right to the point and said, “We have sinned!” Sin disconnects us from people, but repentance and confession will restore us. Humble prayers build bridges, but selfish prayers tear them down and build barbed wire fences.
I asked a pastor if he ever included any other church in town in his pulpit prayer each Sunday, and he said, “No.” When I asked why, he replied, “Most of our members think our church is the only church in town.” But he did start to pray systematically for the pastors and ministries of other churches, and I think his successor continues to do so. I’m sure many good things have come out of this practice, because when you start praying sincerely for others, you often end up helping them in some way yourself. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Eph. 3:20, emphasis added). The Lord usually starts to answer prayer by working first in the hearts of those who are praying. Jesus instructed his disciples to ask God to send out laborers, and then he sent them out (Luke 10:1–4).
Scripture is filled with examples that illustrate this truth. Abraham interceded for Lot, who was living in Sodom. When Lot was taken captive, God used Abraham to rescue him (Genesis 18–19). Certainly Moses in Midian was praying for his enslaved relatives and friends in Egypt, and God called him to return to Egypt and set them free. Grieved at the sad plight of the Jews in Jerusalem, Nehemiah wept and prayed for them, and the Lord sent him to rebuild Jerusalem and revitalize its citizens (Nehemiah 1). “Well, the least I can do is pray for you,” we hear Christians say, but they are dead wrong. The most we can do is to pray for others, because that’s the first step in our getting involved with them to help meet their needs.
The phrase “love one another” is found at least a dozen times in the New Testament, and prayer is one way we practice that love. Through prayer I can love people miles away, even people I have never met; and if I’m sincerely loving and praying, I will want to help them when I hear about their needs. This is how God turns burdens into blessings and glorifies himself by answering prayer. Granted, some “prayer letters” may have little to do with prayer, but true servants of God aren’t ashamed to unburden their hearts with true intercessors.
Open your concordance to another and you will learn that “love one another” is but one of more than thirty “one another” statements found in the New Testament.12 As we obey them, we are obeying the most important “one another” statement of all—“Love one another” (John 13:34–35; 15:12, 17). Christian love isn’t a passing emotion. It’s a compelling motivation, energized by the Holy Spirit and nurtured by prayer, the Scriptures, congregational worship, and sacrificial service. Christian love means treating others the way the Father treats us; so when we pray “Our Father,” we’re including both God and others. That’s why I say that our relationship to the Father is the most important connection in life, because it determines every other relationship. And the way we treat others helps to determine our relationship to the Father. In the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32), the older brother couldn’t get along with his father because he refused to accept and forgive his younger brother. The relationships are reciprocal.
From Cain who murdered his brother Abel (Gen. 4:1–16) to Diotrephes who “loved to be first” in the church (3 John 9–10), the Bible honestly records how people have sinned against each other. Our Lord’s disciples lived in the presence of the Son of God, and yet they frequently argued over who among them was the greatest. The Corinthian church had the godly apostle Paul as their founder and first pastor, yet the congregation was divided four ways (1 Cor. 1:10–19). The legalistic Galatian Christians were “biting and devouring each other” and “provoking and envying each other” (Gal. 5:15, 26). After listing some of the physical sufferings he had endured in his ministry, Paul wrote, “Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches” (2 Cor. 11:28). It was easier for him to endure shipwreck than to see the people of God destroy the church of God. Every faithful servant of God knows what Paul means.
Why should it be so difficult for us as God’s children to love one another as Jesus commanded us to do? For one thing, each church is a family, and the “spiritual children” are at various stages of growth. As in any family, the older must be patient with the younger and help them in their maturing. My wife and I once visited a home where there were five children, ages two to thirteen, and there was a beautiful harmony in that family. The mother told us their “secret”: the children were taught to care for each other just as their parents cared for them. That’s what makes church eldership a challenge! All the members of the body “should have equal concern for each other” (1 Cor. 12:25). Peter agrees with Paul: “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms” (1 Peter 4:10).
But there’s another reason we should love one another: each individual believer and church family is under attack by the world, the flesh, and the devil (Eph. 2:1–3; James 4:1–10). Cain killed Abel his brother because Cain “belonged to the evil one” (1 John 3:11–15). The Corinthian saints were feuding because some of them were “spiritual babies” and living for the flesh, while others were arrogantly mixing the wisdom of God with the wisdom of this world (1 Cor. 1:18–30). The world, the flesh, and the devil! Had these believers been walking in the Spirit and not gratifying the appetites of the flesh, they would have loved each other and enjoyed a united church family (Gal. 5:16–26).
It’s a privilege to call God Father and to use that little word our to embrace all of God’s children. From wherever we pray, we reach up to the throne of heaven and reach out to believers in “every tribe and language and people and nation” (Rev. 5:9). God in heaven is listening, and God’s people everywhere are praying “Our Father”—and that includes you and me!