Conversion
Conversion The wonderful opening paragraph of Sermon 83 on the Canticle tells how a person now enmeshed in sin can dare to aspire to marriage with the Word. St Bernard makes it sound so easy that some may ask if this is just theory. Does he really know what is involved? Indeed he does. His sermon on conversion given to the clerics in Paris tells us that, together with what he says about humility and our need for the help of the Word. The texts that follow form a rather unwieldy block and often overlap, but they emphasise and nuance his thought.
What he has to say is fundamental to the human situation, whether a person is living in a monastery or in the world. This may be seen more clearly in someone who has an addiction to some habit or sin. But we are all sinners, and first of all we have to acknowledge the fact. This is basic humility — truth. But it is not easy and some can never manage this first step. The admission must follow that we cannot save ourselves — from an addiction or whatever. Human power is not enough: God's help is essential. There is a further stage: we must actually ask for that help. This involves a decision to surrender one's life into the hands of the Father who cares for us, the Brother who loves us utterly, and the Spirit who heals us and gives us the power to cope or overcome. On our part, prayer and self-discipline are needed.
This whole process is so basic to human spiritual growth that the monastic life is geared to throwing us back onto God in this way.
But any situation where there is no human solution can form a starting point. —
Come Home Without Fear We have seen how every soul — even if burdened with sin, enmeshed in vice, ensnared by the allurements of pleasure, a captive in exile, imprisoned in the body, caught in the mud, fixed in mire, bound to its members, a slave to care, distracted by business, afflicted with sorrow, wandering and straying, filled with anxious foreboding and uneasy suspicions, a stranger in a hostile land, and according to the prophet, sharing the defilement of the dead and counted with those who go down to hell — every soul I say, standing thus under condemnation and without hope, has the power to turn.
And then it finds it can not only breathe the fresh air of the hope of pardon and mercy, but also dare to aspire to the nuptials of the Word, not fearing to enter into alliance with God or to bear the sweet yoke of love with the King of angels.
Why should it not venture with confidence into the presence of him with whose image it sees itself honoured, and in whose likeness it knows itself made glorious? Why should it fear a majesty when its very origin gives it ground for confidence?
Conversion I There is no true life except in conversion, and there is no other means of entering into life.
'Unless you are converted .
. ." Clearly then, the conversion of souls is the working of the divine, not the human voice. May I suggest then that you prick up the ears of your heart in order to hear this inner voice and that you make an effort to hear God speaking within. That voice never ceases to knock at the door of each one of us. This voice is not only a mighty voice, but it is also a beam of light, both informing men of their transgressions and bringing to light things hidden in darkness. It opens the book of the conscience, passes in review the wretched sequence of life, unfolds its sad history, enlightens the reason, and the memory is set as it were before its own eyes.
If pride, envy, avarice, ambition or any other pest is hidden there it will scarcely be able to escape this scrutiny. If it should be guilty of any fornication, theft, cruelty, any fraud or other fault whatever the defendant will not remain hidden from this inner judge. Even though all the itching of evil pleasure quickly passes, still it stamps on the memory certain bitter marks, it leaves filthy traces.
Conversion II If you have ever seen a man scratching at his hand and rubbing it until it bleeds, then you have a clear picture of a sinful soul. For craving gives way to suffering and mental itching yields to torment. And all the while he was scratching he was well aware that this would happen, but he pretended that it would not.
Anyone who has heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Return transgressors, to the heart', and has discovered such foul things in his inmost chamber will set out like some detective to investigate them; he will examine each thing and search for the opening by which it filtered in. Close the windows, lock the doors, block up the openings carefully and then when fresh filth has ceased to flow, you can clean out the old.
As long as a man is without experience in the spiritual combat, he thinks that what is asked of him is easy. But the palate complains of being invited to cheap fare and denied the pleasure of getting drunk; the eyes moan that they are forbidden all titillation; the tongue says, 'I have been ordered to restrain myself from story-telling and lies'. And yet the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor is the ear sated with hearing.
Conversion IIT Now the reason sees the memory clogged with dirty things; it sees itself incapable of closing the windows thrown wide open to death; it has come to recognise its malady but finds no remedy.
Let the soul which is in this state harken to the divine voice, and to its amazement it will hear it say, 'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God'. Who is poorer in spirit than the man whose spirit finds no rest? The man who is displeasing to himself is pleasing to God, and he who hates his'own house, that is to say, a house full of filth and wretchedness is invited to the house of glory, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. No wonder if he trembles with awe at the greatness of this honour, and says,
'Is it possible for such wretchedness to make a man happy?'
Whoever you are, if you are in this frame of mind, do not despair: it is mercy not misery that makes a man happy, but mercy's natural home is misery. Indeed misery becomes the source of man's happiness when humiliation turns into humility and necessity becomes a virtue. Sickness has real utility when it leads us into the doctor's hands, and he whom
God restores to health gains by having been ill.
The Desire for Contemplation Let such a man consider, that he will find no comfort — not within nor under nor around himself, until he at last learns to seek it from above and to hope that it will come down from above. All this will enable him to peer through the keyhole, to look through the lattices and he will discover the paradise of pleasure planted by the Lord; a flowering and lovely garden —a place of refreshment. You enter this garden not on foot, but by deeply-felt affections.
There the radiance of continence and the beholding of unblemished truth enlighten the eyes of the heart. There we have a foretaste of the incomparable delights of charity, and the spirit is pervaded with the balm of mercy and rests happily in good conscience. But these are not yet the rewards of eternal life, but only the wages paid for military service.
This is the hundredfold tendered to those who scorn the world. You will consult books to no avail; you must try to experience it instead. It is wisdom, and man does not know its price. This is hidden manna, it is the new name which no one knows except him who receives it. Not learning but anointing teaches it; not science but conscience grasps it.
The Soul Wedded to the Word So the soul returns and is converted to the Word to be reformed by him and conformed to him. In what way? In Charity — in love. Such conformity weds the soul to the Word, for one who is like the Word by nature shows herself like him too in the exercise of her will, loving as she is loved.
When she loves perfectly, the soul is wedded to the Word.
What is lovelier that this conformity? What is more desirable than charity, by whose working you approach the Word with confidence, cling to him with constancy, speak to him as a familiar friend, and refer to him in every matter with an intellectual grasp proportionate to the boldness of your desire.
Truly this is a spiritual contract, a holy marriage. It is more than a contract, it is an embrace. An embrace where identity of will makes of two, one spirit.
ete 5 ah b de aiecataa ae cbt ined hee Te syed! genes