Section 383
said, I disclaim all that ever he made me will or do, and look on it as defiled and imperfect, as coming from me; and I take me to Christ for sanctification, as well as justification; and repeating these words, "He is made of God to me, wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption;" he added, I close with it, let him be so, he is my All, in all this.
On March the seventeenth, three gentlewomen coming to see him; after exhorting them to read the word, and be frequent in prayer, and much in communion with God, he said, My honourable Master and lovely Lord, my great and royal King, hath not a match in heaven or in earth; I have my own guiltiness like another sinful man, but he hath pardoned, loved, and washed, and given me "Joy unspeakable, and full of glory." I repent not that ever I owned his cause. These whom ye call Protesters, are the witnesses of Jesus Christ; I hope never to depart from that cause, nor side with these that have burnt the causes of God's wrath.
They have broken their covenant oftener than once or twice: but I believe, "The Lord will build Zion, and repair the waste places ofJacob." O! to obtain mercy, to wrestle with God for their salvation. As for this Presbytery, it hath stood in opposition to me these years past: I have my record in heaven; I had no particular end in view, but was seeking the honour of God, the thriving of the gospel in this place, and the good of the new college, that society which I have left upon the Lord: what personal wrongs they have done to me, and what grief they have occasioned to me, I heartily forgive them; and desire mercy to wrestle with God, for mercy to them and all their salvation.
The same day, Mr. James M'Gill, Mr. John Wardlaw, Mr. William Violant, and Mr. Alexander Wedderburn, (all members of the same presbytery with him) coming to visit him, he made them heartily welcome, and said, My Lord and Master is the chief of ten thousand of thousands, none is comparable to him in heaven or in earth. Dear brethren, do all for him; pray for Christ, preach for Christ, feed the flock committed to your charge for Christ, do all for Christ; beware of men-pleasing, there is too much of it among us. Dear brethren, you know I have had my own grievances among you of this presbytery. He, before whom I stand, knows it was not my particular, but the interest ofJesus Christ, and the thriving of the gospel, I was seeking. What griefs or wrongs you have done me, I heartily forgive, as I desire to be forgiven of Christ. The new college hath broke my heart, and I can say nothing of it, but I have left it upon the Lord of the house; and it hath been, and still is, my desire, that he may dwell in this society, and that the youths may be fed with sound knowledge. This is a divided visit of the presbytery, and I know so much the less what to say.
After this, he said, Dear brethren, it may seem a presumption in me, a particular man, to send a commission to a presbytery; and Mr. M'Gill replying, It was no presumption: he continued, Dear brethren, take a commission from me, a dying man, to them, to appear for God and his cause, and adhere to the doctrine of the covenant, and have a care of the flock committed to their charge. Let them feed the flock out of love, preach for God, visit and catechise for God, and do all for God. Beware of man-pleasing: the chief Shepherd will appear shortly; and tell them from me, dear brethren, that all the personal griefs and wrongs they have done to me, I do cordially and freely forgive them: but for the business of the new college, I have left that upon the Lord: let them see to it, my soul desires the Lord to dwell in that society, and that himself may feed the youths. I have been a sinful man, and have had my failings, but my Lord hath pardoned and accepted my labours. I adhere to the cause and covenant, and mind never to depart from that protestation against the controverted assemblies. I am the man I was. I am still for keeping the government of the kirk of Scotland intire, and would not for a thousand worlds, have had the least finger of an hand in burning of the causes of God's wrath. O! for grace to wrestle with God for their salvation, who have done it; and Mr. Violant having prayed, at his desire, as they took their leave, he renewed his charge to them, "to feed the flock out of love."
The next morning, as he recovered out of fainting, in which they, who looked on expected his dissolution, he said, I feel, I feel, I believe in joy, and rejoice; I feed on Manna. The worthy and famous Mr. Robert Blair, whose praise is in the gospel, through all this church, being with him, [I must tell the reader, our author had this man in high esteem, and lived in near friendship and love with him to the day of his death. A reverend minister, lately fallen asleep, that was often with Mr. Rutherfoord told me, he used to call Mr. Blair a worthy man of God] As Mr. Rutherfoord took a little wine in a spoon, to refresh himself, being very weak, Mr. Blair said to him, Ye feed on dainties in heaven, and think nothing of our cordials on earth; he answered, They are all but dung, yet they are Christ's creatures, and out of obedience to command, I take them; adding, my eyes shall see my Redeemer, I know he shall stand the last day upon the earth, and I shall be caught up in the clouds to meet him in the air, and I shall be ever with him, and what would you have more, there is an end; and stretching out his hand over, again reply'd, there is an end. A little after, he said, I have been a wretched sinful man, but I stand at the best pass that ever a man did, Christ is mine, and I am his; and spake much of the white stone, and the new name. Mr. Blair, who loved to hear Christ commended, with all his heart, said to him again, What think ye now of Christ? to which he replied, I shall live and adore him: glory, glory, to my Creator, and to my Redeemer for ever: glory shines in Immanuel's land.
In the afternoon of that day, he said, O! that all my brethren, in the public, may know what a Master I have served, and what peace I have this day: 'I shall sleep in Christ, and when I awake, I shall be satisfied with his likeness.' And he said, This night shall close the door, and put my anchor within the vail, and I shall go away in a sleep, by five of the clock in the morning: which exactly fell out according as he had told that night, though he was very weak, he had often his expression, O for arms to embrace him; O for a well tuned harp. And he exhorted Dr. Colvil (a man that complied with Episcopacy afterwards) to adhere to the government of the kirk of Scotland, and to the doctrine of the covenant; and to have a care that youth were fed with sound knowledge; and exprest his desire, that Christ, might dwell in that society, and that vice and profaneness might be borne down: and the doctor being a professor in the new college, he told him, That he heartily forgave him all offence he had done him.
He spake likewise to Mr. Honeyman, who came to see him, (the man, who afterward not only submitted to the Episcopal government, but wrote in defence of it, and was made Bishop of Orkney) and desired him to tell the presbytery to appear for God and his cause, and covenant, saying, The case is not desperate, let them be in their duty. And directing his speech to Dr. Colvil, and Mr. Honeyman, he said, Stick to it. Ye may think it an easy thing in me, a dying man, that is now going out of the reach of all that man can do, but he, before whom I stand, knows I dare advise no colleague or brother to do what I would not cordially do myself, upon all hazard: and as for the causes of God's wrath, that men have now condemned; tell Mr. James Wood from me, that I had rather lay my head down on a scaffold, and suffer it to be chopped off many times, were it possible, before I had passed from them. And to Mr. Honeyman he said, Tell Mr. James Wood from me, I heartily forgive him all wrongs he has done me; and desire him from me, to declare himself the man that he is, still for the government of the church of Scotland.
And truly Mr. Rutherfoord was not deceived in him, for the learned, pious, and worthy Mr. Wood was true and faithful to the presbyterian government; nothing could bow him to comply, in the least degree, with the abjured prelacy; so far from that, that apostasy and treachery of others, whom he had too much trusted, broke his upright spirit, especially the aggravated defection and perfidy of one whom he termed Judas, Demas, and Gehazi, concentred in one, after he found what part he acted to the church of Scotland, under trust. For this Mr. Wood went to the grave a man of sorrows, and left his testimony behind him, to the work of God in this land, which has been in print a long time ago.
I owe this piece of justice to the memory of this great man: and to shew that the only differences betwixt Mr. Rutherfoord and him, were occasioned by Mr. Wood's joining with the promoters of the public resolutions of that time, but Mr. Rutherfoord ever spoke of him with regard, and as a good man whom he loved. After, when some spoke to Mr. Rutherfoord of his former painfulness and faithfulness in the work of God, he said, I disclaim all that, the port I would be at is redemption and forgiveness, through his blood. Thou shalt shew me the path of life, in thy sight is fulness of joy. There is nothing now betwixt me and the resurrection; 'But today thou shalt be with me in paradise:' Mr. Blair saying, Shall I praise the Lord for all the mercies he has done for you, and is to do? He answered, O for a well-tuned harp. To his child he said, I have again left you upon the Lord; it may be you will tell this to others, That the lines are fallen to me in pleasant places, I have a goodly heritage: I bless the Lord that gave me counsel.