. Plan and Purpose of The Confessions
Chapter One
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
Part I
. Why Study The Confessions?
Biographical Notes
1. His Parents anp His Earty YEARS
2. CHANGING TIMES AND SOCIAL PATTERNS
3. DouBTING AND SEARCHING a) Manichaeism b) Neoplatonism c) The Influence of Ambrose, Monnica, and Others
4. His CoNVERSION AND BAPTISM
5. AucusTIne, BisHop oF Hippo
. Plan and Purpose of The Confessions
. Form and Style
Part IT
. The Influence of Augustine
. Quotations From The Confessions
Finding Christ Through God
ee or RR ee
. Conclusion
This [The Confessions of St. Augustine} is to me the most wonderful record in the world of the awakening and return of a soul to God.
EVELYN UNDERHILL
chapter one the confessions
Of SAINT AUGUSTINE
Part I
Why Study The Confessions?
"O Lord. . .Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee." In this sentence from the first paragraph of The Confessions lies the secret that sends Christians of the twentieth century to this spiritual classic. The sentence has been called the theme of the book because it sums up the great experience of Augustine with which the book deals, his search for God. If we are honest with ourselves, we must admit that deep within us there is a spiritual restlessness, the same longing that Augustine had. In laying bare his soul, he touches upon the experience of every person. His words are as true in the twentieth century as they were in the fourth, and this fact makes The Confessions a book for all time. Haniel Long, in addressing a letter to St. Augustine, expresses it this way: Your Confessions, from beginning to end, trembles on the chord of the universal. In it we deal only with ourselves, our world, the Great Spirit. The secret passion of the world has swept into your heart.
1 Haniel Long, A Letter to St. Augustine after re-reading his Confessions (New York: Duell, Sloan, and Pearce, 1950), p. 17. Used by permission.
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Sandro Botticelli, according to Long, showed his recognition of this universal quality when, in the fifteenth century, after Augustine's death, he painted the Bishop of Hippo as an old man on bended knee beseeching God for help. Here was a man needing belief, love, encouragement, and self-esteem." This is a picture that men _ through the ages have been able to understand. More than anything else, it explains why The Confessions has been translated into most Western languages and is loved in each.
Perhaps the book has a special message for us in the atomic age in the midst of our bewilderment and of our consciousness of failures in human relationships. Augustine seems to speak for us as he expresses his sense of shock and guilt at his blunders and shows his longing for help. He also knew a changing era. His seventy-six years were lived in a crumbling Roman Empire. In fact, his city was pillaged by the Vandals when he was on his death bed.
Another important reason we might give for studying The Confessions is that Augustine here presents a type of personal religion of which our age has great need and which those of us who are Christians should strive continually to develop. This type stresses, on the one hand, the relationship between the soul and its Creator and, on the other, the true place of man among his fellow men. Because of Augustine's vivid consciousness of the personal relationship of his soul to God, he often has been spoken of as a mystic, even called the father of mysticism. To him God was all in all, the light of his 2 Ibid., pp. 8-9.
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
heart, the bread of his inmost soul, the Power who gave vigor to his mind(p. 12).* And yet Augustine himself always was conscious of the true place of the Christian's life among his fellows. He recognized the danger of a person's shrinking from a life of action, seeking shelter in the seclusion of monastic life as a result of acceptance of his view of the soul's resting in God. His own responsiveness and dependence on friends and loved ones made a solitary life of meditation unattractive to him. His discovery of God as the strength of his soul made it impossible for him to refuse when the call of the Church came, and he went forth as a spiritual leader and an interpreter of the Church.
BloGgRaphical NOTES
Since The Confessions is not primarily an autobiography, a sketch of Augustine's life may be helpful to the reader as background for a study of the book.
Our author was born in 354 in North Africa, at Thagaste, a small town in the province of Numidia, which is now Algeria. His parents, Patricius and Monnica, were both Roman by birth though they may have had some Numidian or Phoenician ancestors. his parents ano his early years
Patricius, whom Augustine described as "but a poor freeman of Thagaste," was an official in the provincial
3All quotations in this chapter from C-27, The Confessions of St. Augustine, Cardinal Edition, Published by Pocket Books, Inc., are identified only by the number of the page on which they appear in this classic, as in this instance. Used by permission.
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administration. His income was small, and he was never free from financial cares. He was ambitious for his son, however, and went beyond his means to give Augustine an education. Patricius was chiefly concerned that the lad should have a successful future as a rhetorician. Augustine pays tribute to Patricius for this in The Confesstons, while he also notes his father's lack of concern for his relationship to God and for his chastity. Patricius did not become a Christian until shortly before his death; his views of marriage and chastity were probably typical of the average pagan of his day. The fact that there was harmony in his own home evidently was due to Monnica's godliness and strength of character. Augustine refers to her as obeying her husband better because of her obedience to God. It was because of her beautiful life and dependence on God that Patricius became a convert before his death, which came suddenly when Augustine was seventeen.
Thus it is in Monnica that one finds the dominant influence of Augustine's life. He began to learn her faith in his infancy. Very early, he says, he learned about eternal life and began to pray to God as his aid and refuge. One of his early prayers was that he might not be beaten in school, which happened when he was idle. Once while he was a small boy, he became very ill and begged his mother to let him be baptized. Much troubled, she was ready to make preparation for his consecration when suddenly he recovered. The baptism was then deferred because the position of the Church at this time was that if a person should sin after the consecration of baptism the guilt would be greater. The boy must be sure that
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
he was ready to live a changed life before receiving baptism.
Like her husband, Monnica was very ambitious for her son. She was proud of his brilliant mind and his gifts in speech, and she wanted nothing to stand in the way of his success. She even opposed an early marriage for him, fearing a wife might prove "a clog and hindrance"' to his hopes of learning. Yet she could not take the light view of his youthful wildness that her husband did. With great anxiety she warned him, says Augustine, '"'not to commit fornication; but especially never to defile another man's wife' "' (p. 23).
The picture of his early years, which Augustine gives in The Confessions, is very black, as is that of himself as a student. Willard L. Sperry is helpful in his interpretation of this period of Augustine's life. He states: The Confessions as a whole is like a picture gallery, hung with colorful sketches of a man's childhood and youth, uniformly framed in a heavy black moulding of mature condemnation. The frames are so disproportionately deep and sombre that they all but obliterate the pictures which they enclose. To understand Augustine as a boy and a young man, we must take the sketches out of their framework and study them by themselves.*
Sperry sees many redeeming lights in the picture of the young Augustine. First there is the pure devotion to his mother and, in addition, the capacity for wholesome
4 Willard L. Sperry, Strangers and Pilgrims, Studies in Classics of - Christian Devotion (Boston: Little, Brown and Co., 1939), p. 9. Used by permission.
eAN INTRODUCTION TO FIVE SPIRITUAL CLASSICS
friendship, the independent life of the mind, his capacity for hard work, and a perpetually uneasy conscience." changing times and social patterns We need also to keep in mind the social pattern of his time and the high plane he had reached when he was recalling his past. For instance, there seemed to be no sense of shame regarding his son Adeodatus, who was born during his student days at Carthage. Sperry reminds us that the name Adeodatus means " 'gift of God—' an unlikely name for a child of whom his [Augustine's} conscience could not approve."* Monogamous concubinage was accepted at the time even by some churchmen. The mother of Adeodatus ''may well have been someone whom he could not legally marry."
We have already noted that Augustine's father had died suddenly before his son's education was completed. A wealthy citizen of Thagaste offered aid at this time to make it possible for Augustine to go to Carthage for two years of further training in rhetoric and literature in preparation for teaching. In The Confessions when describing this period of study, Augustine speaks of "learning" books of eloquence wherein he ''desired to be eminent, out of a damnable and vainglorious end, a joy in human vanity' (p. 33). Indeed it was very different from the serious study he did later. In the ordinary course of his reading, however, he came upon a book which, he says, changed all his purposes and desires
5 Ibid., p. 14.
8 Tbid., p. 13.
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
and inflamed him to love, see, and obtain wisdom. This book was Hortensius, a dialogue on philosophy by Marcus Tullius Cicero (frequently called "Tully" by Augustine), whose writings were valued above all other ancient writers in Augustine's day. He had started the book with the idea of sharpening his tongue but was soon fascinated by the contents. Years later as he looked back over his life, he felt that this was the time he began to arise that he might return to his Father.
In his search for wisdom or truth, which followed the reading of Hortensius, he first turned to the Scriptures to see what they contained, because his Christian heritage made him recognize that a knowledge of God would be his goal. Two problems now confronted him. The old Latin translation that was current in North Africa offended his literary taste. The Scriptures seemed "unworthy to be compared with the stateliness of Tully" (p. 35). Then, too, he was unwilling at this period to receive as ultimate truth statements that he could not prove by rational processes.
OOUBTING and sEaRching manichaeism
This latter difficulty partly explains why Augustine became interested in the Manichees, a sect strong in North Africa in his day. They maintained that they represented the true and original Christianity and promised by pure and simple reason to bring their disciples to God, discarding all arbitrary authority. In other words, the doctrines of the Church need not be accepted. To Augustine this sounded like the truth he had been seek-
cAN INTRODUCTION TO FIVE SPIRITUAL CLASSICS
ing and a very practical religion. To his mother, Monnica, however, who had long been a Christian, it was a terrifying heresy. When Augustine returned to Thagaste to teach rhetoric, she considered not letting him live in her house. There was, nevertheless, an abiding love between the two, and Monnica never ceased weeping and praying for him during the nine years he was affiliated with the Manichees. Later, Augustine believed that God heard her prayers and sent the dream that comforted her and caused her to let him return home. She was also consoled by the words of a priest whom she was urging to talk to Augustine, '"Go thy ways and God bless thee, for it is not possible that the son of these tears should perish' (p. 44).
Augustine did not remain long in Thagaste, for soon after he arrived a very dear friend died. Then he wanted to get away from the place where everything reminded him of his friend. He returned to Carthage, where he taught rhetoric for eight years, and at the same time continued his studies. These covered a wide range of subjects. As he grew intellectually, he came to feel that "much of the boasted wisdom of the Manichaeans was folly and pretense." Finally, when Faustus, one of their most learned leaders, failed to answer satisfactorily the many questions that were perplexing Augustine, he became skeptical. He did not leave the sect at once but began seeking his answers in other places.
One of the most difficult questions was the origin of evil. As he saw it later, this came from his not knowing
7 Arthur C. McGiffert, A History of Christian Thought (New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1949), II, 75. Used by permission.
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
how to think of God. Any reader of The Confessions knows, however, that this problem of evil was not merely an academic question with Augustine. He felt the need of knowing the origin of the good and bad impulses continually warring within him.
In this period of indecision and skepticism, Augustine never gave up his belief in God, though he did have doubts about the immortality of the soul. He even came to feel that the philosophers known as the Academics were wiser than anyone else. They held that "men ought to doubt everything, and laid down that no truth can be comprehended by man' (p. 77).
So then [he tells us} after the manner of the Academics... doubting of every thing, and wavering between all, I settled so far, that the Manichees were to be abandoned; judging that, even while doubting, I might not continue in that sect, to which I already preferred some of the philosophers. . . . (pp. 81-82). neoplatonism 'For a man of Augustine's temperament, this skepticism was an unhappy experience and one he could not endure for long. He decided to explore one more philosophical school, Neoplatonism. The writings of Plotinus, the leader of this school, had just been translated into by Latin by Victorinus, the most celebrated rhetorician at Rome in Augustine's day.* Augustine found in Neoplatonism much that appealed to him, for instance, the conception of a realm of spiritual being altogether
8 Shirley Jackson Case, Makers of Christianity from Jesus to Charlemagne (New York: Henry Holt and Company, 1934), p. 178. Used by permission.
~AN INTRODUCTION TO FIVE SPIRITUAL CLASSICS
different from the realm of things, a belief in man's possession of a spiritual sense by which he could know God, and the belief in the immortality of the soul. His greatest inspiration from this group, however, was the Neoplatonic solution to the problem of evil. Plotinus' idea of evil as an absence of good was a startling thought to him and encouraged him to continue his search for truth, which he had believed was hopeless.
Augustine accepted Neoplatonism as enthusiastically as he had Manichaeism, but this time he was moving closer to orthodox Christianity rather than away from it. the influence of amBROSE, MONNICa, and others
Another influence that brought Augustine closer to the Church at this time was the preaching of Ambrose. During his period of skepticism and indecision, Augustine had moved from Carthage to Rome to follow his profession as a teacher of rhetoric. Whereas the students of Carthage had been too boisterous for him, he found those in Rome fickle and dishonest. Therefore in 384, when he was recommended by a Roman prefect to the people of Milan, who wanted a rhetorician, he accepted the new post without hesitation. It was here that he came under the influence of Ambrose, then Bishop of Milan, who, according to Augustine, was known "'to the whole world as among the best of men' (p. 80). Augustine was first attracted by Ambrose's kindness to him rather than by his teachings. He listened to Ambrose preaching to the people to see if his eloquence were as great as had been reported to him. Gradually he had to admit how truly Ambrose spoke as well as how eloquent-
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
ly. The result was that his teachings, particularly the figurative interpretation of the Law and the Prophets, led Augustine to a new regard for the Scriptures. There were other determining influences upon Augustine at this time. His mother had come to Milan to be with him, and there was a small group of like-minded friends, including Alypius and Nebridius, also from North Africa, with whom he spent much time studying the Scriptures and thinking through common problems. No one can read these happenings, together with the accounts of Augustine's conversations with Simplicianus, who told him about the great rhetorician Victorinus becoming a Christian, and with Pontitianus, an African
Christian high in the Emperor's court, without being | fully conscious of Augustine's dependence upon people. his CONVERSION and Baptism
The climax of this period, and also, Augustine believed, of his life, was the famous incident in the garden known as his ''conversion." After a season of great emotional struggle and seeking, he felt that God spoke directly to him in the words of Paul, "Not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying; but put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, in concupiscence"' (p. 147; also Rom. 13:13-14). His quest for certainty was ended. Serenity filled his heart, he says, and "all the darkness of doubt vanished away' (p. 148). He knew now that he was ready to give up fame and a worldly career and live a life of monastic simplicity and celibacy. He decided to withdraw quietly from his profes-
cAN INTRODUCTION TO FIVE SPIRITUAL CLASSICS
sion rather than make a big stir calling attention to himself. A coming vacation period and his ill health— trouble with his lungs—made stepping out easier.
The following spring, in 387, he was baptized in Milan by Ambrose with his friend Alypius and his fifteen-year-old son Adeodatus. Shortly after this he made preparations to return to Africa, believing this was the place in which he could serve God most usefully. When Augustine and his party were in Ostia, the seaport of Rome, ready to begin their voyage, Monnica died. One of the favorite chapters of The Confessions is the ninth, which gives a vivid account of Augustine's last conversations with his mother and of her death and burial. She was ready for death because God had answered her prayers that her son should be a Christian. The chapter is a great tribute to her and shows the depth of his affection for her.
Augustine returned to his native town, Thagaste, where he sold his property and gave the money to the poor. He and his companions spent their time in study and writing. Though The Confessions does not give the exact date, we know from other sources that Augustine's son Adeodatus died at this time, at the age of seventeen. In The Confessions Augustine speaks of finding much that was admirable in him and about being awed by his talents. In De Vita Beata he says, 'There was also with us, in age the youngest of all, but whose talents, if affection deceives me not, promise something great, my son Adeodatus.'"
SEB. Pusey (trans.), St. Augustine's The Confessions of St. Augustine (Everyman's Library: New York: E. P. Dutton & Co., 1942), p.
185, note 1. Used by permission.
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
au Gustine, BIShOp Of hippo
Coming out of his retirement in 391 A.D., Augustine visited Hippo Regius (the neighboring seaport) "'on a mission of mercy, and the aged Bishop Valerius, desiring an efficient helper, ordained him to the priesthood. Four years later, when the bishop died, Augustine was appointed his successor."'*°
During his thirty-five years as bishop of this provincial diocese, Augustine became known throughout the Christian world as a defender and interpreter of the Church.
He never lost his zest for meditation and interpretative thinking, but the forces that impinged upon him in those trying times furnished ample incentive for the development of that system of theological thought that has rendered him famous.1+ There were the Manichees to be refuted and then the Donatists and the Pelagians. Finally, when the Church was blamed for the fall of Rome, which took place two decades after Christianity was made the state religion, Augustine undertook an explanation of the situation. The result was his famous work, The City of God, containing his philosophy of history, which so greatly influenced the later conflict between Church and State.
In 430 (August 28), while Hippo was being attacked by the Vandals, Augustine died of fever at the age of seventy-six. He had been in failing health for some time but had stanchly refused to seek safety in flight.
10 Case, op. cit., p. 183.
11 Ibid.
«AN INTRODUCTION TO FIVE SPIRITUAL CLASSICS
plan and purpose of The Confessions
Now that we have the background of Augustine's life, let us briefly investigate the writing and plan of The Confessions.
After Augustine became a Christian, he had a habit of making casual references to his earlier life. His friends urged him to tell the whole story, because some of his Opponents were passing around harmful rumors about his pre-Christian life, injuring his name as a Christian. Such was the occasion which, in 397, eleven years after his conversion and only one or two after he became Bishop of Hippo, led him to write the best known of all his works.
Yet no reader of The Confessions thinks of this as the purpose of the work. Augustine himself says that his object is to praise God for his unmerited goodness and to raise up man's understanding and affection toward God." Since this, rather than writing an autobiography, is his purpose, he makes no attempt to give all the important events of his life. He begins with the goodness and mercy of God in his infancy and uses the first nine books to relate the incidents that show how he was gradually led to dedicate his life wholly to God. After he describes an experience, he passes immediately into the principles behind it. For instance, after recounting the robbing of a pear tree when he was sixteen, he goes into the nature of sin committed without any apparent cause. He does this that he might help others in their struggle against sin. He ends the experience with praise
12 Pusey, op. cit., p. VIII.
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
to God, who alone can change us and satisfy our longings. The result of this procedure is a work which is unique among the writings of men. R. L. Ottley says that the works that have been compared to it, namely Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, Rousseau's Confessions, Goethe's Faust, serve to emphasize the originality of Augustine's work."
To return to the plan of The Confessions, we should note that the ninth book ends the account Augustine started out to give. Again his friends intervened, wanting him to continue it and tell of his life as it was then, ten years after his baptism. Evidently it was easier for him to write of that former self with which he had no relation other than to praise God for his deliverance from it, for in the last four books he gives scarcely any biographical material. In Book X he continues his praise of God, now for the faculty by which he came to know God. This leads him into an extensive discussion of the nature of memory. In Book XI he breaks off an account of the way God led him to holy orders, saying that time is "too precious to him," and then goes into a discussion of time. This takes him into the subject that continues through the last two books, an exposition of the history of creation. He ends Book XIII on a high note of praise and thanksgiving to God for all he has created for us, and most of all for the gift of his spirit which enables us to love him. He expresses the hope that, as God works through us and rests in us, we may find rest in his "great hallowing."
13 R. L. Ottley, Studies in the Confessions of St. Augustine (London: Robert Scott, Roxburgh House, Paternoster Row, E. C., 1919), p. 118.
<~AN INTRODUCTION TO FIVE SPIRITUAL CLASSICS
These last four books, though not as readable as the earlier ones, will be of interest to those who are accustomed to abstract discussions and who want a better understanding of Augustine's mind. Since boyhood he had had a passion for the world of ideas, and now his mind was turned to the account of Christianity. form and style
From the plan of The Confessions let us turn to the form and style of the work. It is primarily a book of devotion and has been aptly described as a dramatic monologue addressed to God. R. L. Ottley says that Augustine's task was ''to find diction and imagery appropriate to the high task of sustained converse with God,'** and adds that he "instinctively must have felt that eloquence was beside the mark. His language is that of the heart."
And yet The Confessions is not free from forced antitheses, "extravagance of diction," and other rhetorical devices characteristic of the style of the day.*® Still the general tone is so high that Augustine stands preeminent among religious writers of any age. Willard L. Sperry thinks that the paradoxical sentence pattern runing through the entire book "gives it an electric quality which we intuitively sense, though we may not identify its source." For a good example of this paradoxical sentence pattern, see the second passage quoted in Part II of this chapter, pages 30-31.
14 Tbid., p. 135 (note). 15 Ibid. 16 [bid., pp. 119-120. 17 Sperry, op. cit., p. 27.
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ParT II
The Influence of au Gustine
Earlier in this chapter reference was made to Augustine as an interpreter of the true faith of the Church and to his fame as a theologian. Certainly many Christians commemorate his conversion as an event hardly less epoch-making than the conversion of the Apostle Paul. In fact, the Bishop of Hippo is recognized as second only to Paul in his influence on the thinking of the early Christian Church. But this is not all. Scholars have traced his influence in the Renaissance and even in the Reformation. In the seventeenth century he was appealed to as a champion of Protestantism. The secular historian also studies Augustine's writings. It is said that no student of history today can claim to understand the Latin mind during the fourth and fifth centuries without reading Augustine, who, it is said, was one of the most powerful intellectuals of his day.
Augustine's contribution as a theologian and historian offers material for further study at a later time. Our purpose here is to consider the message of this book for those of us who today are reaching upward toward God as did Augustine. In an effort to do this, we shall point up certain passages and ideas which through the ages have been found especially meaningful.
Quotations From the Confessions
For Augustine, God became the great reality of life, the all powerful, the unchangeable. Let us listen to the
AN INTRODUCTION TO FIVE SPIRITUAL CLASSICS
opening lines of The Confessions:
Great art Thou, O Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is Thy power, and Thy wisdom infinite. And Thee would man praise; man, but a particle of Thy creation; man, that bears about him his mortality, the witness of his sin, the witness that Thou resistest the proud: yet would man praise Thee; he, but a particle of Thy creation. Thou awakest us to delight in Thy praise; for Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee(p. 1).
At the same time that Augustine thought of God as the only Reality, as the unchangeable One, and as the Creator of the universe, he was conscious of him as an almighty Being having personality, and therefore One with whom he could hold communion. We also feel this need of communion with the Divine Being and, as we read passages like the following, we may find ourselves drawing nearer to him: What art Thou then, my God? what, but the Lord God? For who is Lord but the Lord? Or who is God save our God? Most highest, most good, most potent, most omnipotent; most merciful, yet most just; most hidden, yet most present; most beautiful, yet most strong; stable, yet incomprehensible; unchangeable, yet all-changing; never new, never old; all-renewing, and bringing age upon the proud, and they know it not; ever working, ever at rest; still gathering, yet nothing lacking; supporting, filling, and overspreading; creating, nourishing, and maturing; seeking, yet having all things. Thou lovest, without passion; art jealous, without anxiety; repentest, yet grievest not; art angry, yet serene; changest Thy works, Thy purpose unchanged; receivest again what Thou findest yet
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
didst never lose; never in need, yet rejoicing in gains; never covetous, yet exacting usury. Thou receivest over and above, that Thou mayest owe; and Who hath aught that is not Thine? Thou payest debts, owing nothing; remittest debts, losing nothing. And what had I now said, my God, my life, my holy joy? or what saith any man when he speaks of Thee? Yet woe to him that speaketh not, since. mute are even the most eloquent.
Oh! that I might repose on Thee! Oh! that thou wouldest enter into my heart, and inebriate it, that I may forget my ills, and embrace Thee, my sole good! What art Thou to me? In Thy pity, teach me to utter it. Or what am I to Thee that Thou demandest my love, and, if I give it not, are wroth with me, and threatenest me with grievous woes? Is it then a slight woe to love Thee not? Oh! for Thy mercies' sake, tell me, O Lord my God, what Thou art unto me. Say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. So speak, that I may hear. Behold, Lord, my heart is before Thee; "open Thou the ears thereof, and say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. After this voice let me haste, and take hold on Thee. Hide not Thy face from me. Let me die—lest I die—only let me see Thy face (p. 3).
Augustine's long struggle in this quest for God taught him a great truth of which we need continually to be reminded. He came to see that the entire personality— reason, emotion, will—must be consecrated to this quest. Mere intellect, he found, could not lead him to a vital knowledge of the Divine Personality, and certainly not a "maimed and half-divided will' (p.141). He had _ found the goodly pearl, and it was only when he could make up his mind to sell all he had to buy it that the light of serenity entered his heart and "'all the darkness
cAN INTRODUCTION TO FIVE SPIRITUAL CLASSICS
of doubt vanished away' (p.148). The inward dualism which had caused him such a long struggle was gone. As Ottley says, "he had learned the lesson that the principle of unity in man is a God-directed, God-centered will."'* At the beginning of Book IX he bursts forth in praise to God for this revelation and for God's presence with him.
O Lord, I am Thy servant; I am Thy servant, and the son of Thy handmaid: Thou hast broken my bonds in sunder. I will offer to Thee the sacrifice of praise. Let my heart and my tongue praise Thee; yea, let all my bones say, O Lord, who is like unto Thee? Let them say, and answer Thou me, and say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. Who am I, and what am I? What evil have not been either my deeds, or if not my deeds, my words, or if not my words, my will? But Thou, O Lord, art good and merciful, and Thy right hand had respect unto the depth of my death, and from the bottom of my heart emptied that abyss of corruption. And this Thy whole gift was, to nill what I willed, and to will what Thou willedst. But where through all those years, and out of what low and deep recess was my free-will called forth in a moment, whereby to submit my neck to Thy easy yoke, and my shoulders unto Thy light burden, O Christ Jesus, my Helper and my Redeemer ? How sweet did it at once become to me, to want the sweetnesses of those toys! and what I feared to be parted from, was now a joy to part with. For Thou didst cast them forth from me, Thou true and highest sweetness. Thou castest them forth, and for them enteredst in Thyself, sweeter than all pleasure, though not to flesh and blood; brighter than all light, but more hidden than all depths, higher than all honour, but not to the high in their 18 Ottley, op. cit., p. 126.
THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE
own conceits. Now was my soul free from the biting cares of canvassing and getting, and weltering in filth, and scratching off the itch of lust. And my infant tongue spake freely to Thee, my brightness, and my riches, and my health, the Lord my God (pp. 149-150).
It also may be helpful to us to see how Augustine came to realize that this quest for truth demanded the whole of life. He faced the facts of his inner life honestly. When he did this he saw that only one power could bring the conflicting elements of human nature into a state of harmony. In The Confessions he had the courage to lay bare his mistakes as well as his successes that others might be helped in their search for God. For instance in Book IV, when he tells of his wretchedness after the death of his friend in Thagaste, he thinks how blessed he would have been if he had loved God then and could have turned toward him at this time. He knows he could have found him by looking into his own heart and could have carried other souls to God with him by saying, "Him let us love, Him let us love... .See there He is, where truth is loved. He is within the very heart, yet hath the heart strayed from Him. Go back into your heart, ye transgressors, and cleave fast to Him that made you. Stand with Him, and ye shall stand fast. Rest in Him, and ye shall be at rest... ." (pp. 55-56).
Later, when he was searching diligently for truth, he was able with God's help to enter into his inward self, and then he beheld with the eyes of his soul the "Light Unchangeable." As he thought of this light and its relationship to truth, he was reminded also of God's sending the beams of his light upon him and making him
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conscious of how far off from God he was. Then he knew how necessary it was for him to hold fast unto God.
He that knows the Truth, knows what that Light is; and he that knows It, knows eternity. Love knoweth it. O Truth Who art Eternity! and Love Who art Truth! and Eternity Who art Love! Thou art my God, to Thee do I sigh night and day. Thee when I first knew, Thou liftedst me up, that I might see there was what I might see, and that I was not yet such as to see. And Thou didst beat back the weakness of my sight, streaming forth Thy beams of light upon me most strongly, and I trembled with love and awe: and I perceived myself to be far off from Thee, in the region of unlikeness, as if I heard this Thy voice from on high: "I am the food of grown men, grow, and thou shalt feed upon Me; nor shalt thou convert Me, like the food of thy flesh into thee, but thou shalt be converted into Me(pp. 117-118).
It is good then for me to hold fast unto God; for if I remain not in Him, I cannot in myself; but He remaining in Himself, reneweth all things. And Thou art the Lord my God, since Thou standest not in need of my goodness(p. 118).
In connection with Augustine's idea of finding God through searching his own heart, it is of interest to note that in his writing on Psalm 57 he says that the law was first written in men's hearts and the written law was later given because men had strayed from their own hearts."" He carries the idea further in The Confessions with God's revelation of himself in Jesus.
And He departed from our eyes, that we might return into our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and 19 Pusey, op. cit., p. 63 (note 1).
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lo, He is here. He would not be long with us, yet left us not; for He departed thither, whence He never parted, because the world was made by Him. And in this world He was, and into this world He came to save sinners, unto whom my soul confesseth, and He healeth it, for it hath sinned against Him. O ye sons of men, how long so slow of heart? Even now, after the descent of Life to you, will ye not ascend and live? But whither ascend ye, when ye are on high, and set your mouth against the heavens? Descend, that ye may ascend, and ascend to God (p. 56).
This idea of finding God in his heart led Augustine to a thought found often in his writings, the importance of humility. ""Descend, that ye may ascend," he says. It is through the lowliness of repentance that the soul recovers her high estate. Knowing the nature of man to be swelled with pride, God humbled himself lest men should disdain to follow a humble man." In De Civitate Dei, XIV, 12, Augustine says: In humility therefore there is this to be wondered at, that it elevates the heart; and in pride this, that it dejects it.. .. godly humility subjects one to his superior and God is above all; therefore humility exalts one, in making him God's subject.?4
Again and again in The Confessions Augustine refers to the other side of the problem—pride. When he is describing his disillusionment about the Manichees after he had met their leader, Faustus, he cries out against learned men who do not find God because of being puff-
20 Pusey, op. cit., p. 64 (note 2). 21 John Healey (trans.), St. Augustine's The City of God (2 vols. Everyman's Library: New York: E. P. Dutton & Co., 1945), I, 43. Used by permission.
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ed up by an ungodly pride. This is the explanation he gives: Thou art great, O Lord, and hast respect unto the humble, but the proud Thou beholdst afar off. Nor dost thou draw near, but to the contrite in heart, nor art found by the proud, no, not though by curious skill they could number the stars and the sand, and measure the starry heavens, and track the courses of the planets(p. 66).
It was in this pride of soul or defect of the will that Augustine saw the origin of sin or evil. Man, the greatest of God's creatures, was given the splendid gift of reason. This made him capable of resisting God's control, of choosing the less instead of the greater, in other words, following his own will rather than God's. He does not let the reader of his confessions forget that evil was a great force in his own life and one that he controlled only with daily watchfulness and prayer. This helps us to understand why there is so much about sin in his writings and why he has been called the most powerful ethical person the West has produced. Our own frailty in resisting temptation makes us appreciate his continual struggle, even after his conversion, of which we catch a glimpse in the tenth book of The Confessions.
Too late loved I Thee, O Thou Beauty of ancient days, yet ever new! too late I loved Thee! And behold, Thou wert within, and I abroad, and there I searched for Thee ; deformed I, plunging amid those fair forms which Thou hadst made. Thou wert with me, but I was not with Thee. Things held me far from Thee, which, unless they were in Thee, were not at all. Thou calledst, and shoutedst, and burstest my deafness. Thou flashedst, shonest, and scat-
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teredst my blindness. Thou breathedst odours, and I drew in breath and pant for Thee. I tasted, and hunger and thirst. Thou touchedst me, and I burned for Thy peace.
When I shall with my whole self cleave to Thee, I shall no where have sorrow or labour; and my life shall wholly live, as wholly full of Thee. But now since whom Thou fillest, Thou liftest up, because I am not full of Thee I am a burden to myself. Lamentable joys strive with joyous sorrows: and on which side is the victory, I know not. Woe is me! Lord, have pity on me. My evil sorrows strive with my good joys; and on which side is the victory, I know not. Woe is me! Lord, have pity on me. Woe is me! lo! I hide not my wounds; Thou art the Physician, I the sick; Thou merciful, I miserable. Is not the life of man upon earth all trial? Who wishes for troubles and diffculties? Thou commandest them to be endured, not to be loved. No man loves what he endures, though he love to endure. For though he rejoices that he endures, he had rather there were nothing for him to endure. In adversity I long for prosperity, in prosperity I fear adversity. What middle place is there betwixt these two, where the life of man is not all trial? Woe to the prosperities of the world, once and again, through fear of adversity, and corruption of joy! Woe to the adversities of the world, once and again, and the third time, from the longing for prosperity, and because adversity itself is a hard thing, and lest it shatter endurance. Is not the life of man upon earth all trial: without any interval? (pp. 195-196).
As personal sin is an important factor in Augustine's life, so also is divine grace. Whatever good there is in us comes from God, says Augustine. Without divine help man cannot turn from his own selfish will to God's will. This divine help is grace. The passage below, which
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follows the one on sin just quoted, shows man's dependence on God's grace. i he al th aa lela
And all my hope is no where but in Thy exceeding great mercy. Give what Thou enjoinest, and enjoin what Thou wilt. Thou enjoinest us continency; and when I knew, saith one, that no man can be continent, unless God give it, this also was a part of wisdom to know whose gift she is. By continency verily are we bound up and brought back into One, whence we were dissipated into many. For too little doth he love Thee, who loves any thing with Thee, which he loveth not for Thee. O love, who ever burnest and never consumest! O charity, my God, kindle me. Thou enjoinest continency; give me what Thou enjoinest, and enjoin what Thou wilt (pp. 196-197).
The thought of God's grace always filled Augustine's heart to overflowing with love for him. Earlier in Book X, as Augustine was thinking of how he had come to know God and what his life was at the time he was writing, he found it easier to talk about his love for God than about himself. The following passage is a good example of this and one sure to be remembered by readers of The Confessions.
What do I love, when I love Thee? not beauty of bodies, nor the fair harmony of time, nor the brightness of the light, so gladsome to our eyes, nor sweet melodies of varied songs, nor the fragrant smell of flowers, and ointments, and spices, not manna and honey, not limbs acceptable to embracements, of flesh. None of these I love, when I love my God; and yet I love a kind of light, and melody, and fragrance, and meat, and embracement when I love my God, the light, melody, fragrance, meat, embracement of my inner man: where there shineth unto my
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soul what space cannot contain, and there soundeth what time beareth not away, and there smelleth what breathing disperseth not, and there tasteth what eating diminisheth not, and there clingeth what satiety divorceth not. This is it which I love when I love my God (p. 177). finding Christ Through God
Though a few references have been made to Christ in the passages quoted earlier in the chapter, some readers may have been surprised that there have not been more and even may have wanted to ask, "What does Augustine have to say to us about Christ?'' We have already seen that from earliest childhood he had been taught about Christ. And surely the following quotation shows that he came to have a personal relationship with him.
Then I sought a way of obtaining strength sufficient to enjoy Thee; and found it not, until I embraced that Mediator betwixt God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who is over all, God blessed for ever-more, calling unto me, and saying, I am the way, the truth, and the life, and mingling that food which I was unable to receive, with our flesh. For the Word was made flesh, that Thy wisdom, whereby Thou createdst all things, might provide milk for our infant state(p. 122).
We must face the fact, however, that Christ does not have the place in Augustine's religious experience that he does in the experience of most of the early Church fathers. Many primitive Christians began with Christ and then discovered God in him. Augustine began with God, and his faith in Christ grew as he came more and more under the influence of Christian tradition. McGif-
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fert says that in Augustine's later works he declared again and again that Christ was the only way to God." McGiffert also points out the fact that in the Incarnation
Augustine found the supreme revelation of God's love for men. Christ came mainly, he says, that we might learn how much God loves us, and thus be moved to love him in return and also to love our neighbors at the command and example of him who was made our neighbor.?*
Conclusion
As we close this chapter, let us turn back to Augustine's object in writing The Confessions, namely, to ptaise God for his unmerited goodness and to raise up man's understanding and affection toward God. It is hoped that all of us who take part in this study may find help and inspiration in our own quest for God. Let us remember that Augustine found the Eternal Spirit by praying for guidance and then by having the courage to face himself. We need also to keep in mind something that Haniel Long points out in his letter to St. Augustine: It is true that because of your great prestige people have thought the truth about you must also be the truth about them. They have thought that what you found expedient for yourself they should imitate ; that your ideas about God and the earth and men and women. . .should be their ideas also. They missed the point that your truth can only be regarded as a possible aid to them in finding their truth.
22 McGiffert, op. cit., p. 104. 23 Ibid., p. 106. 24 Long, op. cit., p. 18.
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In order to progress toward spiritual maturity, each person to some degree must understand himself—his own weaknesses and faults, his true goals and some of the ways of living in order to achieve them.
By St. Augustine's revealing his spiritual experiences, we have inspiration to seek more earnestly God's full sway in our lives. It is for this help in finding our own way to God and for the work he did in making the early Church strong enough to withstand the storms that beat upon it that we pay tribute to him.
Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee.