Unnecessary Guilt
Unnecessary Guilt
It’s clear God forgives, but have you ever had trouble forgiving yourself?
Have you ever been pestered by guilty feelings? You confess and yet feel no relief? Guilt—nagging and constant—can be like trying to balance a heavy boulder on your shoulder.
Frankly, some people who feel the worst condemnation are those with the least reason to feel guilty. I’m speaking here of needless guilt.
Let me explain. When I was first injured, lying paralyzed in that hospital bed, my mother suffered unbelievably. She was hounded by guilt over my accident—understandable feelings, but unnecessary.
Mom kept punishing herself for things like not teaching me how to be more cautious around shallow water, not warning me enough about diving where I couldn’t see bottom, not enrolling me in a water safety course.
Now, I knew very well my mother wasn’t at fault for my stupid dive. If anybody should have felt guilty, it was me. But looking back, I think my mother believed she had to punish herself. It was her way of participating in my pain. Her guilty feelings somehow assured her of a share in my burden.
In short, her guilt was a way of identifying.
But that kind of guilt is needless—and a terrible waste of precious emotional resources. All of those “if onlys” act like a powerful corrosive, eating away at the fabric of the soul.
“If only I had stopped my daughter from driving in that car of reckless kids …”
“If only my genetics were different, my son wouldn’t have been born this way …”
“If only I hadn’t permitted my boy to sign up for football, he’d be okay and not in that hospital …”
“If only I’d been more sensitive to my husband’s needs, he wouldn’t have left me …”
It’s so hard to look at hurt and pain in your family and not be tempted to take it out on yourself. It seems almost impossible to say, “What’s done is done and I have to go on from here.”
Even the apostle Paul had to do that. In Philippians 3:13-14 he puts it this way: “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on …”
You might be hurting right now, struggling with the tangled ropes of unnecessary guilt. For the sake of Christ’s kingdom—and especially those who need your unhindered, undiluted emotional energies—please saturate your mind with the promise in Romans 8:1:
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
God doesn’t condemn you for happenings out of your control. And even if those events were within your control, His blood can cleanse any sin and launder your heart whiter than new-fallen snow.
Remember, God is the One who wants to help you take the boulder off your shoulder.