Part 1

TESTIMONY OF DR.VIJAYASUDHA

Greetings to you in the precious name of our Lord andSaviour Jesus Christ. I praise my God for giving this wonderful opportunity to share my testimony with you. I pray that this testimony would bring a great blessing to you.

nd My name is Vijaya Sudha, 2 daughter of Dr. V.N. Raju and Smt. Esther Rani residing in Karapa, East Godhavari District of Andhra Pradesh. My parents brought me up in the fear and knowledge oftheLord Jesus. I praise my Lord for giving such God-fearing parents to me. I had accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour when I was 15. Till then I thought that if parents are Christians their children willnaturally becomeChristians as an

rd inheritance. But on May 231985 during a Youth Retreat in Narsapur, Icame to know that Jesus becomes one’s Saviour whenhe/sheaccepts him personally intotheir livesand he will lead and guidethemas their Lord throughout their lives.Thus on that day I was born-again by accepting Jesus. Have you too have accepted Jesus and gotthisborn-again experience? I liketo singspiritual and also secularsongsvery much since childhood. From the day of my rebirth in Christ, I had stopped singingsecular songs butthat wasonly for 3 months butIstarted singing secular songs again. But God was so gracious towards me. God had provided a medical seat throughthe Governmententrance exam and I had joined a Visakhapatnam college for my medical studies (MBBS). During my studies, in my loneliness I started singing secular songs and was chosen to sing such songs in college functionstooas I had a sweet voice. But one day God spoke to me through a preacher regarding complete dedication. That dayI realised that I was not singing and glorifying God by singing secular songs. SoI had dedicated my voice foronlymy Lord. God had used me in many ways in my college days and blessed me by singing only for his glory.

rd When I was in my 3 year of MBBS, I was married to Mr. Rajendra Babu an Engineer, working as a manager in BEL Bangalore. God has blessed us by given us Esther Praisy & Ron Samuel, a daughter and a son. From the year 2000 onwards, my lifehadentered a different phase. I had worked in a hospital after completingthecourseofhouse-surgeonship. At that time Istarted experiencingpain and discomfort during nights in my upper abdomen. After 2 years

rd of suffering, on July 3 2002, I had severebouts ofnausea and I vomited a lot of blood too. All the doctors and staff rushed to attend on me. The news was like a fire to them. They loved me so much, and so they couldnot digest the news. Owner of that hospital, Dr. Patil became so depressed and called a gastroenterologist to attend on me. My husband also wasintimated. Endoscopy was done and a bigbleedingtumor of 10 cm sizewasdiscoveredin my abdomen.Dr. Patil started crying like a child. It was ashockingnews to all my consultants.Theyhad explained thissevere condition to my husband also. I became so tired due to severe internal bleeding andsogotdepressed.InsideI was weeping as I felt so weak. Being a doctor I could guess and assessthat it must be cancer.I’d seen so many patients of cancer suffering and dying. In my case I was the doctor andalsothe patient. Generally we could say something else other than cancer tothosepatients to comfort them. All people who came to see mecould notcomfort me and even doctorswhocamejustshed tearswhich made me to cry more and more. Iwished the doctorswouldsay that I would not die and live long with my family. I wanted to read the Bible during that time. Micah 7:7-11 cameto my memoryand God had encouraged me to go through that passage, but my sorrow was so much and my mind couldn’t receive it and I was not in a position tofullyunderstand those verses of the Bible. I was shifted to Mallya Hospital on the next day afterthetransfusingof2 units of blood. I was admitted under the care of Dr. K.S. Gopinath,acancersurgeon. He examined me and told that my condition was serious,andstill 6 more units of blood were required to be transfused and kept me inthesurgical ICU. Then all other big tests were done. I became so delicate,and the littleboldnessIhad evaporated.No attendantswere allowed.During thevisiting hours they permitted only one attendant for just 5 minutes. My parents were in Andhra Pradesh. My kids were not allowed as they were very small. Nobody was there to talk or comfort me. Twodays had passed without my knowing whether it was day or night. I could not sleep or relaxed at least for a minute. Only one question was top most in my mind.“Whyis ithappening to

th me?” On July 5 during night my heart was crying and I was questioning myself “Oh, God, how many days I have to suffer with this pain? Will I go to my house again? Will I be healed? My lifewould beshortened,Why?” People who came to see me too were crying and making me to cry more. I longed to read the Bible but no Bible was allowed insidethe hospital ICU. I cried to God “Why Lord, why have you forsaken me? Why this happened to me so suddenly? I am your child and why have you left me as an orphan? Here I am alone, Will I die in this hospital? If I die what will happen to my kids? They are very small and they would also become orphans. Please strengthen me! Are you showing your wrath on me?” I was struggling.Then I asked myself “Who created me?” I realised it was God who created me. He told me through God, the Holy Spirit that he was with me in my suffering. That comforted me but Istarted asking him again, “God,Why haveyouleft me in this serious,deadly, depressed condition? Andwhy are younot bringing me your comforting words? Now, I want a word from you, I want your comfort and boldness, speak a word to me” I was asking in my weak condition with weeping and crying. Then I heard a sweet voice from the core of my heart saying “Don’t feel bad thata copy of theBible is not with you now, just recollect and remember the memory verses you have learnt in your childhood”. Immediately Ps.23 came in front of me in very big letters in a lively way. God started speaking to me with his soft, sweet and still voice that “Do not be afraid, for you are my sheep and I am your shepherd, even if you are in the valley of the shadow of death, I will be with you. I will carry you where you cannot walk. I will take you out of this valley. You follow you all the days of your life.”Hewiped my tears, took away all my grief and sorrow and my burden had rolled away and I was filled with his joy. Thatjoywas on my face even today, I praise God for hiscomfortingword given to me even in that serious situation. I was operated and the tumor was reported as malignant with very bad prognosis that

th it could grow fast and could kill me soon. There wasanabdominal burst onthe9 day but still I did not get discouraged. In fact, I was very much encouraged becauseI believedall things work together for good to them those who love the Lord. After 24 daysIgot discharged from hospital. I was advised to undergo check ups periodically. I had joined my work after 4 months. Meanwhile, I wrote some songs,givingmy experiences inlyric formas the Lord encouraged me. I had resigned my job due to some reasons. I started a clinic, conducted some free medical camps. Godhad thusused me in his work. After two and a half years I was admittedagain inMallya Hospital for check up in Aril 2005.They foundanother tumor in my liver during a scan. Biopsy was done. It was reportedto beofa very serioustype ofcancer inanadvanced stage. It took 10 days for the doctors to diagnoseme. I prayedto God to show His willfor my life. God spoke to me through II Peter 1:13-15, that he is going to use me as his servant as a singer, a live witness totestify his mercies and glorious things, and a preacher to preachthe gospel quoting often my experiences.God told me to encourage the sick and burdened people whoare undergoing sufferings like me. I thought I should notacceptsurgery because of the high risk involved. My father is a doctor and he also advisedmenot to go for surgery. God gave me his word when I asked whether to go for surgery or not. Again God talked to me with his soft, sweet

nd voice to read my daily portion. That day it was the 2 chapter of Job. While I was

th reading I stopped at the 6 verse.God strengthened me and took away my dilemma aboutthesurgery orotherwiseand hadasked me to goforthesurgery. With this faith I had acceptedto undergo the surgery, I was successfullyoperated and discharged after 8 days without any complications. I startedto undergo chemotherapywith the world’s best drugs. I thought I wouldn’t be a witness outsidethe hospitalbecause I did not gettotalhealingfrom cancer.I could not tell anythingabout the healing to anybody in a clear way. People from the church started talking against my faith. I was hurt by their words. I cried to God, “What should I tell, Lord, I like to tell that my God is my wonderful, miraculous healer,Tell me, whether youare going to heal me or not? I am in an advanced stage ofcancer. As a doctor I could assess normally it would take another three months to come out healthy from this chemotherapy. So during these three months what should I speak about you, my Father.” Thus I prayed.God has given me enough knowledge about so many things which can help the people who are facing similar problems like me. God has said through 2 Peter 1:13-15 that death is inevitable for all. But precious is the death of his saints in God’s sight. I asked God and he gave me knowledge to know more about the death of his saints. I will narrate the things shown by God to me.

glory, to comfort and encourage so many people who are suffering and in

need. God spoke to me to preserve my songs and testimony for next

generations also.

situations.

glory ofour future life with Godin heaven. So as the child of God it is good to

suffer more forthe sake ofChrist.

cry more. I cried to God, “Why this has happened to me, your child.” God has

given me a very good answer. All are sinners including who are talking

against me. If God wants to punish or destroy the sinners nobody would

live/remain on this earth. Some children of God experience sufferingsallowed

by God (Heb. 12:6-12). God has given me the grace that through much

suffering I proved that I am still his daughter. God allows sufferings to happen

to his children sometimes to correct them, to guide them, to grow more in his

holiness. So it is good to accept suffering as a child of God. I thank God for

allowingcancer in my life as a training and not as punishment. All those who

talked againsttoometoohad sometimes seen that grace of God wasin me.

They saw the revival and comfort of God in mysongs and testimony and me

preaching that sufferings and allowed by the will of God.

permission only cancer had entered my body for myeventualgoodness.

Everything works for good for those who love theLord (Rom. 8:28).

st

power of JESUS by sending me into the valley of death. Today Iboldly

nd

declare that Jesus is risen from the dead. Through my 2 surgery, God taught

me to sing and praise andthanking himeven in the shadow of death.Thus it

has given more powerin my testimony.

a live witness), who are in troubles, frustrations, sufferings andevenin the

valley of death.

more perfect in my weakness.

time in prayer, depending more on God for everything and I could know and

experience the supremacy of our Almighty God.

as a human being could know when and how his death would be. Likewise his

children also shouldaccepttheir death here on earth. God gives gracefor usto

know aboutour end.Accidental deathsalso are according toGod’s will to his

people. Especially through any sickness God gives knowledge about the death

of his people. We have to complete all our responsibilities in the given life-

time. During agonizing and painful conditions we have to comfort others. We

have to forgive our enemies and set everything rightwithpeople andourGod.

We shouldprayerfully welcomepain during our death without entering into

coma. If we suffer like Jesus, we will be transformed into His likeness and get

the above mentioned things and to live for Him. God can make death as a

blessing to His saints because we enter His kingdom through physical death.

So that’s why death of His saints is more precious in the sight of the Lord.

other disease may attack us after some days. So this healing in this body is

temporary.But our body transforms when God calls us through death. That

new andglorious body will not get anymore sickness. Idesire fromGod for

that permanent healing.

13.Why God is not punishing all sinnersincluding believers living in sin? It is

because God will not allowsufferingsfor them ashe knows thatthey can’t

glorify God duringtheir suffering.Then God would givesufferingto his

neighbour with the expectation thatseeing his neighbour’s suffering, at least

they may change andget the fear of God.

14.My power and strength physically are reduced through these surgeries as I

facedmany side-effects with the chemotherapy drugs. ButIlearnedto depend

more upon God even for simpler things.

15.It is the best thing to trust in the Lord Jesus instead of sharing our sorrows and

griefs with our dear ones. I have observed whenever I share my burden, it has

increased their burden in their hearts and I have made them to cry. God

revealed me to share everything with Himonlyso thathe will lessen my

burdenin my heart.I found thatmycancer has increased my time in prayer to

God. After finishing prayer, I experience the new power and strengthsurging

in me.

16.I could understand the call of my God for me to be a live witness for Him and

to sing and preach through live experiences which can comfort the people who

are in suffering. God has chosen me and gave this mission to do in mydays

even though I am unworthy. I have preservedmysongsand testimony recorded incassettes and CDs. After getting knowledge of above things I told my God thatwherever he sends me Iwill go and I will work forhim, and praisehim always in my sickness, ratherthanasking for physicalhealing. God is giving me many opportunities to share my testimony in many placesinAndhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka. I told God that I won’t be afraid/ashamed of sharing my testimonyeven though people talk against me. After completing one year of chemotherapy doctors asked to go for PET CT scan in June 2006. I had to go to Mumbai/Hyderabad and spend money up to Rs.30,000/-. But whatever the moneyIget I started reserving fordoing theLord’s ministry and using inrecordingcassettesand CDs. Now I did not want to spendmoneyforexpensive PET CT scan and opted to go for MRI which is less expensive. In June and July of 2006 I had finished three meetings in three places of Andhra Pradesh and while returningone of myaunts gave methe whole amount for PET CT scan. I became nervous because I was refusing itbut Godin his mercy hassupplied the need. After coming to Bangalore, I started praying why He has supplied the money? God spoke to me that I should suffer more to bear more fruitsof spirit especially patience and long suffering.I prayed“Why Lord, till now I have suffered so much but still I amable to praise you. Lord,Do you know the extent my patience could go on?”I asked. God immediately replied likehe toldJob “Blessed are those who suffer” God has revealedtome aconversationwhich was between God & Satan about me. God is telling Satan “Did you see my daughter is praising me even in the valley of death”? Satan to God, “You have covered her with your blood and keepingand protecting her always; if you have leave her and permither to suffermore, she will blaspheme your name and die”. God to Satan, “Ok, you can do whatever you want, but don’t touch her soul, I am permitting you tomake hersuffer more. But surely shewill praise even unto death.” God has kept this conversation in front my eyes while I was praying. As we were travelling to Amalapuram on 29 May 2007,duringthe journeyI hada conversationwithmy sonwhichwas aboutGod’s plan for us to live towitness for him as long as we live, andhowone day we must leave this earth gloriously in Jesus that isdue tothetriumphant deathof Christ. I prepared him about the death which may come earlier to methan the rest ofmyfamily.One by one we must leave this earth and enter the kingdom of our God. So I told him death is nothing but physical separation from dear ones and going into sweet communionwith God and enter into eternal life. Now he is mentally prepared and he had accepted Jesus Christ as his personalSaviour at a very young age. So I am happy that both of my kids are in the hands of Jesus. He will never leave them or forsake them as orphans. We as the children of God must prepare our family for everything. We should be bold enough to do that and ask for God’s guidance. He will surely help us in doing allthat is necessary for our children. I went to Hyderabadlast yearand got the PET CT scan done.It was discovered that there weremanytumor growths inmystomach. I consulted my onco-surgeon again. He and his team of doctors discussed and advised for surgery. I thought suffering would be morethis time. Before getting admittedin thehospital I went to Hyderabad again andpreparedsome songs and testimonyto be recorded andcame back and gotmyselfadmitted. In hospital I prayed to God,“Will I return well after this operation?”God spoke to me through II Thessalonians 1-3 chapters and given metheassurance thathewill surely be with me during my sufferings.

th I was operated in August 2006thatled toso many complications from the 5 day onwards. First satan touched my intestines which got paralysed for 15 days. Also Septicaemiastartedinall the organs like liver, heart, lungs, kidneys bone marrow. Fever, chills and rigors, severe breathlessness and palpitations, severe vomitingof blooddue to instestinal paralysisresulted.and so many complications because of toxins.But as I asked God my mind was alert and was working well. So I never got read loudly from Job 1 & 2 chapters as God advised me to practice the patience of Job. He read those chapters for me and immediately I could feel the presence of satan beside me spoiling my thoughts saying that “You will never go back to your house and surely you will die.”and“Why are you still praising God that He’s done good things for you? Your doctorstooare not givinganyhope that you will survive. You will surely die, before dying just blaspheme your God and die.”Immediately I started crying to God,“Why? Upto this extent my sufferingwas continuousand I have not slept even forhalf an hourpeacefullyonall these days because of my pain and discomfort, Till now I praised you, but now satan is spoiling my mind also, ifyou don’t intervene now I may blaspheme you and go to hell, please Lord, Have mercy upon me, at least now you have to show your mighty hand and take me out of satan’s taunting.” Later my weeping and burden in my heart was reduced,and Islept forjust 20 minutes. God showed meadream.I saw a sump filled with water andI stood on

nd the wall of that sump andIfell down, my father took me out, 2 time I fell down

rd again my father took me out again and a3 time I had fallen down into sump, but vigorously myfather’s hand picked me up and after me a huge giant male person whom I neverhad seen, was picked out of that sumpby some helpers but onlyas a dead body.Immediately I got up from sleep and analysed this dream and told my father and prayed to God. My father told that God is giving victory over death. The very next dayI became better and thedemand of my systemfor oxygen was reduced. My breathlessness, palpitations,andfever were alsoreduced. Blood tests reports showed improvement day after day.Intestines started working. I was started with oral

th liquid foods.On September 20 I was discharged atmyrequest.

th So many peoplefasted and prayed for me.God brought me back to life. On 8 Oct I

ndrd could release2 and 3 volumes of my albums. Iwasstill onchemotherapy. 6 months later I had undergone PET CT scan again which was a very badpositivereport.Cancerwas seen inmyright lung, liver and all GI tract. But I never left my hope in Christ. As a child of God I would be a witness for Him even onmydeath bed,as he encouraged me to prepare my children mentally for my demise. They have now developed a fresh faith. Through this bad report, God has given me burden about my kids to prepare them boldly to accept any eventuality. My daughter Esther isa grownup girl and able to understand all the situations and she has seen me sharing my testimony and messages many times. I am happy that she is bold enough to face any situation. Whereas it is not true with my son Ron Samuel. He issmall but verysensitive andbreaks into tears fast and very soft hearted. The day I got this bad report, heunderstand it at once and becamevery tensed. Hetoogot vomiting spells but it stopped later completely. In the year 2007 my heart was burdenedfor themanybroken families and marriages. I started praying to God for giving me special understanding. God revealed me so many things about marriageswhich are not revealed toeventop religious leaders in churches. And so they make couples to take wrong decisions to maketheir livesmore complicated.ButGodgavemetheknowledge tocounselyoung couples in troublefor themto take correct decisions. In the month of March of 2007duringLent seasonI started praying specially to get the garden of Gethsemane.His prayer became a model prayer for all of us.“Jesus was ill physically also.”in the garden of Gethsemane. He had suffered illness which was very serious and Jesus was not able to walkproperlyand alsohehad no strength in his body to pray also. As a doctor I understood that hewas going through the valley of death, but his own disciples couldnot understand about his illness. He had fainted but foughtin prayerbecause he had to fulfill the purpose of his comingaccording to the will ofGod and he understood that he should not die in the garden and he had to suffer and die on the cross. He fought and fought and He as a human being, depended on heavenly strength and became victorious over all the evil forces at the end. His sweathad fallen on the ground as large drops of blood. God kept this scene in front of me andallowed the same experience for mein my life too. On 17 of April I was about to go to Amalapuram, Noozividu, Nekkalam and

th Vijayawada to work until the7 of May. I had given dates forall themeetings. But

th since 4 days I was havingabdominalpain which wason theincreasetill the16 afternoon.That nightI gotvomitingspells also. As a doctor Iknewthatthere was intestinal obstruction and decided to get admitted in the hospital.TheOncologists had suggested the same. I was admitted to Mallya hospital againforinvestigations. Ultrasound scanningof myabdomen revealed the wide-spread of cancer and there wasbleeding ina large tumor in my liver. I resigned myself to God’s will completely. I had severeabdominal painand discomfort continuously.Even thenI did not undergo operationbut the pain was equivalent to the pain created by multiple operations. Vomiting spells were continuous and Ifeltvery weak and ill. Doctors were so sympathetictome and very considerate. When I got the peak of pain, when I couldn’t take normal breath due to pain, I felt that it’s like hell, but immediately I started thinking“Why my God has permitted this hell like pain.” I was asking God to show his grace to bear the pain and I thoughtI would diemaybe within days. My attendants my Chitthy andVajra were patiently ministering to me day and night and so many friends were praying for me. I could see the power of God in me because God has remindeda sermonIgave once during the Holy week about prayer in the garden of Gethsemane. The memory made Jesusalmost visiblein front of me. Jesus had to die but not in Gethsemane, but on the cross and still there was some time for Jesus to fulfill all the scriptures and in the same way God has revealed that my death is not very near and still there is time for me to fulfill the purpose and will of God in my life. Jesus had companions with him (disciples) but they couldn’t understand the physical and mental agony of Jesus even though they loved him. He wanted their support in prayer but he could not get what he wantedfrom them.Theunutterable agonyhe had felt in his heart were not understood by them. Now too the spirit to God knowsus and he intercedes for us. Jesus depended on God and he brought the heavenly power on him through that prayer in the garden. Angels had to serve and strengthen him.Similarly even though so many people arearound meandthey care and love me so much, onlythe spirit of God could understand the depth of pain in my heart whichwasunutterable and ministeredand strengthened me. I was physically so weak andI felt as though my liver inside was bleedingJesus too felt weak and his sweat was falling on the ground asdrops ofblood. How marvellous it is that God has given me that experience as Jesus had undergone! Jesus glorified his Father. I am so thankfulforhis examplefor meto follow. My life span has crossed the limit given by the doctors. Nobody would recognize me now as a cancer patient till I tell them. God has wonderfully given me this healthy appearance eventhough I am a cancer patient. I do not fear to face death because Jesus guards and holds me even in the valley of death. He holds my hand and leads me out of it. Physically someday or the other, I may leave this earth. I know I will be in the presence of God who would welcome me and wipe my tears forever. In life and the hereafter I will be his child forever. I know as his child I will not be ashamed. You might be feeling sad about me and your heart might be filled with sorrow and burdened because of my suffering but I am glad to tell you that I am very happy at this moment because of my faith in Jesus. In this bed of sorrow I am fulfilling the will of God in my life. He has made my life so meaningful, so I ask you not to become very downhearted but please remember me by name in your prayers. I would be ever grateful for that. Thank you for reading this, my testimony. I pray that:

1.Youwould surelyget an experience of rebirth in Christ to understand his love

fully.

2.You may all your children to any church which arranges Sunday school to

learn the Word of God in their young age. The words they memorize from the

Bible will help them throughout their lives.

3.You maydedicate your life and talentstotally for the Lord’s ministry. If you

honour God, he will honour you in due time. Even if you are holding a secular

job you could glorify God by being a witness at your work place. I am his

witness for that.

4.You may remember that Jesus is with you and in you even when you face

trials and tribulations asachild of God.You are not alone. He will never leave

you nor forsake you.

5.You may nottake pleasure in criticizing, commenting and hurting people

when they are suffering.You may learn to comfort othersbecause we have a

God to comfort us when we need it.

6.Youmay beglorifying God in your difficult times/sufferings. I do hope you

do not getangrywith your maker. Remember, sufferings are allowed for the

children of God for fulfilling his purposes in your life.

7.Youmayget the power of resurrection. Remember to pray earnestly to get his

resurrection power without which you may not be able to facelife’s situations.

GOD BLESS YOU

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