Part 3 (pages 36–49)
overwhelming sense of my wickedness in being ashamed to have a human being see me on my knees before God took such powerful possession of me that I cried at the top of my voice, and exclaimed that I would not leave the place if all the men on earth and all the devils in hell sur- rounded me. “What!” I said, “such a de-graded sinner as I am, on my knees confessing my sins to the great and holy God; and ashamed to have any human being, and a sinner like myself, find me on my knees endeavoring to make peace with my offended God!” The sin appeared awful, infinite. It broke me down before the Lord.
___ Just at that point this passage of Scripture seemed to drop into my mind with a flood of light: “Then shall ye go and pray unto Me, and . find Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your heart.” I instantly seized hold of this with my heart. I had intellectually believed the Bible before; but never had truth been in my mind that faith was a voluntary trust instead of an intellec- tual state. I was as conscious as I was of my exis- tence, of trusting at that moment in God’s verac- ity. Somehow I knew that that was a passage of Scripture, though I do not think I had ever read it. I knew that it was God’s word, and God’s voice, as it were, that spoke to me. I cried to.Him, “Lord, I take Thee at Thy word. Now Thou know- est that I do search for Thee with all my heart, and that I have come here to pray to Thee; and Thou hast promised to hear me.”
That séeined to. settle the question: that v4 could Pe Meh that ey beck my. vow: Th bibs seemed
of whet igs eta into: vy h
arisen. in ai ‘ibuehes Duta as L went: Uup,: ishing : ‘through the leaves and bushes, ‘Trecolleet sayin eg with great emphasis, “If I am ever converted;T will preach the gospel.”
I soon-reached the road that led to the village, and began to reflect upon what had passed; I - found that my mind had become most wonderfully quiet and peaceful. I said to myself, “What is this? I must have grieved the Holy Ghost entirely away. I have lost all my conviction. I have not a particle of concern about my soul; and it must be that the Spirit has left me. Why!” thought I, “I never was-so far from being concerned about my own. salvation in my life.”
Then -I remembered what I had said to God while I was on my knees—that I had said that I would take Him at His word; and indeed I recol- lected a good many things that I had said, and ~ concluded that it was no wonder that the Spirit had left me; that for such a sinner as I was to take hold of God’s word in that way, was pre- sumption if not blasphemy. I:concluded that in my excitement I had grieved the Holy Spirit, and: perhaps committed the unpardonable sin. :
I walked quietly toward the village; and so perfectly quiet was my mind that it seemed as if all nature listened. It was on the 10th of October, and a very pleasant day. I had gone into the woods immediately after early daybreak; and when I returned to the village I found it was din- ner time. Yet I had been wholly unconscious of the time that had passed; it appeared to me that I had gone from the village but a short time.
But how was I to.account for the quiet in the liquid; and my feelings were in such a state that I could not hear my own voice in.singing without causing my sensibility to overflow. I wondered of this, and tried to suppress my tears, but could not. After trying in vain to suppress my tears, I put up my instrument and stopped singing.
After dinner we were engaged in removing our books and furniture to another office. We were very busy in this, and had but little conver- sation all the afternoon. My mind, however, remained in that profoundly tranquil state. There was a great sweetness and tenderness in my thoughts.and soul. Everything appeared to be going right, and nothing seemed to ruffle or disturb me in-the least: ;
Just before. evening the thought took posses- sion of my mind, that as soon as I was left alone in the new office, I would try to pray again—that I was not going to abandon the subject of religion and give it up, at any rate; and therefore, although-I no longer had.any concern about my soul, still I would continue to pray.
By evening we got the books and furniture adjusted; and I made up, in an open fireplace, a good fire, hoping to spend the evening alone. Just at dark Squire Wright, seeing that every- thing was adjusted, bade me good-night and went to his home. I had accompanied him to the door; and.as I closed the door and turned around, my heart seemed to be liquid within me. All my feelings seemed to rise and flow out; and He stood pia 0 ~~ and I i felt ‘down. at mete sou sou to Him. I weet valou
I Eatin) as: ‘soon asimy:m ind: became colt enough : “to break of ‘from ‘the. interview, I:returned to the
: having th the thought: in.my-mind: ‘thatthere ‘was’ such th 1 8. Sor me;: sapiehious my recollection that'I
Al : f had ever heard the thing mentioned by any per- son in the world, the Holy Spirit descended upon me in.a:manner that-seemed to go through me, body and soul. I could feel the impression, like a wave of electricity, going through and through me. Indeed, it seemed'to come in waves and waves of liquid love; for I could not express it in any other way. And yet it did not seem like water but rather the breath of God. I can recollect distinctly that it seemed to fan me, like immense.wings; and it seemed to me, as these waves passed over me, that they literally moved my. hair like a passing breeze. . - .
No words can express the wonderful love that was shed abroad in my heart. I wept aloud-with joy and love; and:I do not know but should say, I literally bellowed out the unutterable gushings of my heart. These waves came over me, and .. over me, and over me, one after another, until I recollect I cried out, “I shall die if these waves continue to pass over me.” I said, “Lord, I can- not bear any more”: yet I had no fear of death.
How long I continued-in this state, with this baptism continuing to roll over me and go through me, I do-not know. But I know it was _ late in the evening when a member of my.choir— for I was the leader of the choir—came into the office to sée me. He was a member of the church. He found me in this state of loud weep- ing, and said to me, “Mr. Finney, what ails you?” I could make him no answer at that time.
thoughts that if _ assicitited mich with: mind would :be-diverte ;
was converted, he told'me that he: iad-sai Mr. Gale:several times, when'he had -admonishe. him about. associating’so.muchwith'me; that amy conversations: had. often’ ‘affected’ phan more, }
Se “43° religiously, than his preaching. I had, indeed, let out my feelings a good deal to-this young man.
But just at the time when I was giving an account of my feelings to this elder of the church, and to another member who was with him, this young man came into the office. I was sitting with my back towards the door, and barely observed that he came in. He listened with astonishment to what I was saying, and the first I knew he partly fell upon the floor, and cried out in the greatest agony of mind, “Do pray for me!” The elder of the church and the other member knelt down and began to pray for him; and when they had . prayed, I prayed for him myself. Soon after this they all retired and left me alone.
The question then arose in my mind, “Why did Elder B. laugh so? Did he not think that I was under.a delusion, or crazy?” This suggestion brought a kind of darkness over my mind; and I began to quéry with myself whether it was proper for me—such a sinner as I had been—to pray for that young man. A cloud seemed to shut in over me; I had no hold upon anything in which I could rest; and after-a little while I retired to bed, not distressed in mind,. but still at a loss to know what to make of my present state. Notwithstanding the baptism I had received, this temptation so obscured my view that I went to bed without feel- ing sure that my peace was made with God.
I soon fell asleep, but almost as soon awoke again on account of the great flow of the love of obtained sound:i repose. Whe AN. eeomoming: the sun: had. risen:and. was: s:pouring «.¢lear light.into. my room.: Words:cannot. express: _ the impression that this. sunlight made upon oe Anstantly the-baptism that I-had received:the
night before. returned upon-me:in:the:sam ~<ner. Larose upon: my: knees:in the bed; and: wept :: aloud‘with joy,-and: remained l'for some time: too much: overwhelmed. with'the'baptism 0, th ; «sf Spirit to’ do: anything -but pour out my 'God: It seemed as if this morhing’s b ptism ‘was
accompanied with a-gentle reproo ithe ".. Spirit seemed to say to.me, “Will you doubt?” {Will you:doubt?” Veried, "Nok T-willnots. doubt}. Il: cannot. doubt? He then:cleared the. sub: =) ject up'so:much: to:my: ‘mind that-it was'in fact. a " tnipossible for: ime 'to doubt that the Spirit-of
God: shad taken } possession of my:soul.::
Charles: tried t to pull. himself togethe: The dynamic. “expe- rience he: had: just had ‘had-washed:away every last vestige of doubt:and’ questioning: Immediately, he went: tothe”
“Jaw office’ where he told Squire:Benjamin Weight: what
O45 God had just done in his life. Astounded, the judge just looked at Charles.with a fixed stare but said nothing. God was also at work in the judge, bringing him to a point of conviction.
Then a client, who was also a deacon i in the. church, came into. the office, Charles was scheduled to try.a.case in court for him that very day. The man asked him, “Mr. Finney, do you recollect that my case is to be tried at ten this morning? I suppose you are ready?”
Charles responded, “Deacon, I have a retainer from the Lord. Jesus Christ to plead. His cause, and I cannot plead yours.”
The deacon looked at Charles in ‘amazement, and asked, “What do you mean?” :
So Charles replied that he had enlisted in the cause of Christ and he must only plead the cause of Christ. The man lowered his head without saying a word and left the office. But Charles’s simple testimony marked the dea- con, and before long, he had experienced a wonderful renewal in his life. -
Charles did not hesitate after that. Christ became his con- suming passion, and to all who would listen, he shared the love of Christ. God had wondrously touched his life and changed him, and he wanted everyone he met to know this great truth. No longer could he be interested in pursuing his career in law.
As he began to share Christ, Charles became aware that after justa few words to someone, the person would come under conviction. Every word he spoke. seemed accompanied by. the power of the Holy Spirit. Soon, people were being saved all over the town of Adams. Everyone in the small town was talking about what had happened to Charles Finney..His conversion might just. as: well have made bold headlines in the town newspaper.
When the Reverend George Gale returned from his visit to his sister, he was probably the most shocked over Charles’s conversion. Pastor Gale usually held prayer meetings. in the school building:. One evening after his return, even though no meeting was scheduled, the school building filled up with people. Everyone sat quietly with rapt attention. Finally, since no one stood. up to take charge of the meeting, Charles exclaimed to himself, My God, is it I? Convinced that the Lord. wanted him to, the new convert stood up to speak.
- As Charles told the people about his dramatic experi- ence with Christ, everyone in the room seemed struck with. awe. Pastor Gale, especially, was moved by what God had done in Charles’s: life. To his-credit, the pastor stood up and admitted to the congregation that he:had doubted Charles’s conversion until that night. He acknowl- edged that he had listened to a town skeptic who thought Charles was perpetrating a great hoax on the community. Now, the completely humbled pastor recognized C God’s power at work in Charles.
Almost at once, Charles sought to win the young peo- ple of Adams to Christ. He told the Reverend Gale, “For years I have led these young people astray. They have fol- lowed my example as an unconverted, skeptical pagan, now I want them to know that if Christ can transform my life, He can change them, too.” He was gratified. that many of the young people found salvation.
Many people from:Adams were so impressed with Charles’s experience that they sought out the same spot in the woods where he had knelt, hoping the Lord would meet them in a similar way. In fact, Judge Wright himself followed Charles’s example by seeking the Lord in the woods. Before long; the whole community was caught up in a revival.
Charles realized he needed to visit his parents in Hen- derson, New York, and share his good news with them. When his father, whom Charles called “an unconverted man,” greeted him at the gate with, “How do you do, Charles?” Charles replied, “I am well, father, body and soul. But, father, you are an old man; all your children are grown up and have left your house; and I never heard a prayer in-my father’s house.”
After Charles said this to his father, the old man low- ered his head and burst into tears, crying out, “I know it, Charles; come in and pray yourself!” It was not long before the entire Finney household came to Christ.
During the year after Charles’s conversion, at least sixty-three. people were converted in Adams and:joined the Presbyterian church. The whole town seemed caught up in‘a fervency of prayer and revival. If Charles dis- covered any “cooling down” toward Christ, he would-go to their homes to: pray and counsel with them. During this time, Charles. sensed an urgent need to pray. His practice was to go to church early every morning and intercede for the community. Other members soon joined him as they, too, sought the Lord.
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