Marked Deliverances in Connection with the Funds for the Orphans 1844–1849
CHAPTER X
MARKED DELIVERANCES IN CONNECTION WITH THE FUNDS FOR THE ORPHANS
July 14th, 1844, to May 26th, 1849
JULY 25th, 1844.—Only eleven days after the accounts were closed, we were again in fresh poverty, and had to go on day by day waiting upon the Lord for the necessities of about 140 persons.
July 26th. Only 6d. has come in to-day.
August 16th. Our poverty is extremely great. The trial of faith as sharp as ever, or sharper. It is ten o'clock, and there are no means yet for a dinner. I now thought of some articles which I might be able to do without, to dispose of them for the benefit of the Orphans, when one of the labourers gave me £1, which she had intended for another object, and which she now considers must be left alone for the present. There was also taken out of the boxes in the Orphan Houses 1s. 6d., and by knitting came in 2s. 3d., and from A. A. 2s.
August 22nd. All we had at the beginning of to-day was £1. There was found in the boxes in the Orphan Houses 5s. 9d., and by a Post Office Order I received £1. So we had enough for one more day. And it is by the day I live. Were I to think of how it will be a year or even a month hence, I should be tried indeed—yea, greatly tried. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof," is my Lord's own precious warrant for this. He will not have me to be anxious about to-morrow, and therefore I cast my cares about to-morrow upon Him. As the weeks pass on, and I go on Saturday evenings to the prayer meetings at the Orphan Houses, I praise the Lord for having sustained me one more week in this service, by enabling me to look to Him. Yea, as each day closes, I desire to be grateful to the Lord for having sustained my faith and patience, and enabled me to rely upon Him, especially in seasons of such great poverty, lasting for weeks, as we have been in of late. But this I must say to the praise of the Lord, that my soul is kept in peace at such times, and, through the riches of His grace, I am kept from questioning whether He will help me or not. And, indeed, it would be sinful ingratitude, after all the Lord has been doing for me in this work, not to rely upon Him. May He in mercy uphold me to the end in this service, and keep me from dishonouring His holy name, either by unbelief, or in any other way.
August 23rd. This morning the Lord greatly refreshed my spirit; for after a long-continued trial of faith, and after long and deep poverty, there was sent me from Devonshire a cheque for £20.
September 4th. Only one farthing was in my hands this morning. Pause a moment, dear reader! Only one farthing in hand when the day commenced. Think of this, and think of nearly 140 persons to be provided for. You, poor brethren, who have six or eight children and small wages, think of this; and you, my brethren, who do not belong to the working classes, but have, as it is called, very limited means, think of this! May you not do, what we do, under your trials? Does the Lord love you less than He loves us? Does He not love all His children with no less love than that, with which He loves His only begotten Son, according to John 17:20–23? Or are we better than you? Nay, are we not in ourselves poor miserable sinners as you are; and have any of the children of God any claim upon God, on account of their own worthiness? Is not that, which alone can make us worthy to receive anything from our Heavenly Father, the righteousness of the Lord Jesus, which is imputed to those who believe in Him?
Therefore, dear reader, as we pray in our every need, of whatever character it may be, in connection with this work, to our Father in Heaven for help, and as He does help us, so is He willing to help all His children who put their trust in Him. Especially do not think, that because you may not be called by God to establish Orphan Houses and Schools for poor children, therefore you are not warranted to rely upon God, in all your need; for the blessedness of depending upon the living God may be enjoyed by all the children of God, though they are not all called by Him to such a work as this Narrative describes. Nor must you suppose, that our only trials in this work arise from want of means, so that, in carrying it on, we have to rely upon God for nothing besides this. I assure you that the want of means is the smallest trial, and that I have had far, far greater exercises of faith on account of other things in connection with this work than those arising from the want of means. But the trials connected with the want of means I dwell upon so particularly, because that is a matter which can be understood by all, and in which the senses themselves almost force us, so to speak, to acknowledge the hand of God.—Well, let us hear then, how God helped when there was only one farthing left in my hands, on the morning of September 4th, 1844.
A little after nine o'clock I received a sovereign from a sister in the Lord, who does not wish the name of the place, where she resides, mentioned. Between ten and eleven o'clock the bag was sent from the Orphan Houses, in which in a note it was stated that £1 2s. was required for to-day. SCARCELY HAD I READ THIS, when a fly stopped before my house, and a gentleman, Mr. ——, from the neighbourhood of Manchester, was announced. I found that he was a believer, who had come on business to Bristol. He had heard about the Orphan Houses, and expressed his surprise that, without any regular system of collection, and without personal application to any one, simply by faith and prayer, I obtained £2,000 and more yearly, for the work of the Lord in my hands. This brother, whom I had never seen before, and whose name I did not even know before he came, gave me £2, as an exemplification of what I had stated to him.
—Oh! how good is the Lord, and how seasonably comes His help, in our great, great need. There came in likewise through a sister in Bath £1, and 5s. 6d. more. Altogether £4 15s. 6d. has come in this day, at the commencement of which I had only ONE FARTHING left.
October 1st. This evening I have received a Bank Order for £70, to be used as the Lord might direct me. The donor wishes me to let him know if anything particular should be connected with this donation. There is indeed much connected with it, as it comes most manifestly in answer to prayer; for thus I am able to supply all that is needed in the way of articles of clothing for the Orphans, for which I have been long waiting upon the Lord, and as the winter is now drawing near, the winter clothes need to be got ready; further, I am able to have the Boys' Orphan House painted inside and coloured down, which is much needed; I am able to furnish all the labourers in the Orphan Houses with some money for themselves, which, on account of our long-continued poverty, I had not been able to do for six months. Yet, though the donation comes in so seasonably, I cannot write to the kind donor thus, lest he should be induced to give more, by my exposing our circumstances, and lest also the hand of God should not be so manifest, in providing me with means for the work, as otherwise it would.—I took of this money £40 for the Orphans, and £30 for the other Funds.
January 18th. Saturday. Since December 9th we had always supplies sent, before the last money was given out; it was a season of rich abundance, for there came in about £140. Now, however, this evening, after all the expenses of the day had been met, there was nothing remaining. But admire with me, dear reader, the goodness of the Lord! This very evening He has again kindly supplied us with means for the commencement of another week. The boxes at the Orphan Houses were opened (our need leading us to do so), and in them was found £10 16s. Is it not, dear reader, a precious thing to trust in the Lord? Are not ten pounds, thus received out of the hands of our Heavenly Father, as the result of faith in God, most precious? Will not you also seek to trust in Him, and depend on Him alone in all your every-day concerns, and in all spiritual matters too? If you have not done so, do make but trial of the preciousness of this way, and you will see how pleasant and sweet it is; and if you have done so in a measure, do so yet more and more, and you will never have cause to regret it. But, perhaps, you are not a believer; if so, you cannot trust in God, and go in all circumstances to Him, as to your Father, unless you are first reconciled to Him through our Lord Jesus. What you have then to do, is to learn that you are a lost, ruined, guilty sinner, deserving nothing but punishment. But, at the same time, you have to remember that God, in the greatness of His love to sinners, sent His own dear Son, that He, in their room and stead, might bear punishment for, and make atonement for, their sins, and fulfil the law of God in their stead, in order that every one who believes on Him might obtain the forgiveness of his sins, and be reckoned righteous before God. If you believe in the Lord Jesus, i.e., if you receive Him as the one whom God has declared Him to be, even the Son of God (as to His person), and the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world (as to His work), and if you rest upon Him, trust in Him for the salvation of your soul, then all your sins shall be forgiven. Though you have grown old in sin, though your sins have been very many and very grievous, yet the blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from ALL sin. Do but believe, and you shall be saved. And when thus you are reconciled to God, through faith in His dear Son, walk before Him as an obedient child, seek in childlike simplicity to go to God for everything, and do REALLY treat God as your FATHER.
March 4th. After I had met the expenses for housekeeping yesterday, all our means were again gone, and there was therefore nothing in hand towards the expenses of to-day. But the Lord helped us again; for two five-pound notes were found in one of the boxes at my house, whereby I am able to meet the need of this day, which is £3.
Dear reader! does your heart admire the hand of God in these instances? Does your heart praise the Lord for His goodness to us? Does it, or does it not? If not, then I beseech you to lay aside this account of His dealings with us, and fall on your knees, and ask God to have mercy upon you, and to soften your heart, that you may be sensible of His goodness to us. Surely if you can read this account of His goodness, and it makes no impression upon you, it is a sign that your heart is not in a right state before God. I do not expect that all the readers will, as much as I do, by the grace of God, see the hand of God in all these matters, though I could wish that they did so, even a thousand times more than I do; but yet all should adore God for His great goodness to us, and should remember that what He does for us, in answering our poor sin-mixed petitions, for the sake of His dear Son, He is willing to do for them also.
Particularly notice, that the help never comes too late. We may be poor, yea, very poor; yet the help comes at the right time. We may have to wait upon the Lord, yea, even a long time; but at last He helps. It may seem as if the Lord had forgotten us, by allowing us to be poor, and very poor, and that week after week; but at last He helps abundantly, and shows that only for the trial of our faith, both for our own benefit and the benefit of those who might hear of His dealings with us, has He allowed us to call so long upon Him.
My heart is not troubled now, whether there be much or little in hand. I am sure that, in the best time and way, God will send help; and thus it is not only with reference to temporal supplies, but also as regards other things that we may need, or when we may be in peculiar difficulties in other respects. When boys need to be apprenticed, or situations have to be found for the girls, and there are difficulties in the way, as we only send them out to believing masters and mistresses, my soul is yet at peace, because I betake myself to my Heavenly Father. When there have been infectious diseases in the Orphan Houses, whereby, looking at it naturally, many children might be taken away through death, my soul is at peace, because I cast this burden upon the Lord, and He sustains me.
When one or the other of my fellow-labourers have left the work, and I needed their place supplied, and knew of no suitable persons, I have been looking to God for help, and that has kept my heart in peace, though this is no small difficulty, as not only can no hirelings be engaged in this work, but also, in case the individual is a true child of God, there are yet so many things to be considered as to fitness and call for the work. When all kinds of lying reports have been spread about the work and about myself in connection with it (though they have been very much less than might have been expected), I have committed my case to the Lord; and such things, instead of casting me down, often have greatly cheered me, because they have been a fresh proof to me, that God is at work, and that, therefore, the devil is angry, and stirs up these lies.
May 1st. When this day began I had only half-a-crown in hand, which I had taken last evening out of one of the boxes in my house. When I was this morning, on my usual walk before breakfast, bringing my circumstances before the Lord, I reminded Him of His word, "Take no thought for the morrow" (i.e. be not anxious about the morrow) and I told Him that yesterday I had not been anxious about to-day, and prayed that He would now be pleased to help me. I was in perfect peace, though I had not the least natural prospect of having the necessities of to-day supplied. Of the money put by for the rent I would not take Our need was my comfort. When I returned to my house at eight o'clock, I found that there had been sent from the Orphan Houses 5s., given there, and 2s. 6d. for knitting. Also a person had brought yesterday to the Orphan Houses the contents of an Orphan box, which he had in his room, having felt himself, as he said, much stirred up to do so. It was 3s. 6d. Also a sister from Worcestershire had sent 10s. Before money was sent for from the Orphan Houses, I received this morning from Stafford 10s. Thus I had £1 13s. 6d. to send to the Orphan Houses for the need of to-day.
July 6th. To-day I received £70 and £100, of which two sums one half was put to the Orphan Fund, and the other half to the Fund for the other Objects. On the 10th of May I had to leave Bristol on account of my health, and was absent three weeks, and had to pay away for the Orphans about £100 within one fortnight after. How seasonably, therefore, came these two donations! When these two sums came in there was only 10s. 3d. in hand, and ten tons of gravel were needed for the playgrounds, and a ton of oatmeal, also money for the apprentices, besides the daily current expenses. Of the other donations which came in during this period, I only mention: FROM NEGRO BRETHREN IN DEMERARA, TWELVE DOLLARS.
Visit to Germany
On July 19th I left for the Continent, to labour for a season in Germany, and returned to Bristol on October 11th. For about eight months before this, I had seen it to be the Lord's will that I should go again this year to the Continent for a season, and had made my journey and service a subject of prayer from November, 1844. Besides asking the Lord's blessing upon my service, I also sought His help for means, and for this also I had not to wait on Him in vain. For as the Lord had sent me, before I went in 1843, the sum of £702 3s. 7d. for various purposes and for the work in Germany in particular, so He gave me again, on May 3rd, 1845, the sum of £500 for the work in Germany, yet so, that the surplus which there might be, should be employed for the Orphans and other work in my hands. There came in during the twelve weeks that I was away, £200 5s. 5½d. This, together with what was in hand when I left, and with some money that at the end of my stay in Germany (when I saw that I should scarcely need one half of the £500), I could order to be drawn out of my bankers' hands in Bristol, richly supplied all the need, during my absence. But the labourers were repeatedly in straits, and several times the last money was gone; but the Lord refreshed their hearts by seasonable help.
January 17th. From the day of my return to Bristol, on October 11th, up to this day, there had been no difficulty at all with regard to means.
May 26th. Up to this day, till the last hours before the commencement of our public meetings, at which an account is to be given of the Lord's dealings with us since July 14th, 1844, the Lord's goodness has continued in supplying us with means. About £80 more has come in during the last fifteen days.
May 26th, 1846, to May 26th, 1848
Scarcely ever had we so much in hand, when the accounts were closed, as at this time.
[The expenditure for the Orphans from July 14th, 1844, to May 26th, 1846, was £2,732 14s. 1½d.]
June 4th. To-day I received £50 for the Orphans. It came on the instant after I had risen from my knees to ask the Lord for more means.
January 20th. For the whole of this period since May 26th, 1846, when the accounts were closed, therefore, nearly eight months, we have had always an abundance of means, and for the greater part of the time about £200 in hand. The sum of £1,065 has come in for the Orphans in less than eight months. Invariably I have thus been able to give to the matrons of the four Orphan Houses in advance, the money which was required for the necessities of one week. But now, after having paid away last evening £45 5s. for the housekeeping for a week in advance and for other expenses, the money which remains in hand is needed for rent, and oatmeal, which has been ordered from Scotland. This morning therefore I gave myself particularly to prayer with regard to means for present use for the Orphans. How blessed to have the living God to go to! Particularly precious to know Him in these days of wide-spread distress! Potatoes are too dear for food for the Orphans at this time. The rice, which we have substituted instead of them, is twice as dear as usual; the oatmeal more than twice as dear; and the bread one half dearer than usual. But the riches of God are as great as ever. He knows that our expenses are great. He knows that a little will not do in these days, when provisions are so dear, as there are about 150 persons to be provided for, including teachers and apprentices. My soul is at peace. —Evening. About noon I received from a pious physician a cheque for £5.
January 21st. There was again only 2s. 6d. left of the money which had come in yesterday. About one o'clock this afternoon I received £1 through a Christian lady of Bristol from "a poor gardener," and £1 2s. 6d. from London.
February 4th. This morning, just before I was going to give myself to prayer about the Orphans, a sister in the Lord sent a sovereign, which she had received, as she writes, "From a friend who had met the Orphan Boys, and was particularly pleased with their neat and orderly appearance." After having received this £1, I prayed for means for present use, though not confining my prayers to that. About a quarter of an hour after I had risen from my knees, I received a letter, with an Order for £5. The donor writes, that it is "the proceeds of a strip of land, sold to the railway company."
February 7th. Lord's day. Yesterday nothing had come in. In two days again about £20 will be needed for housekeeping, and there was only about the tenth part in hand. But I was not in the least disturbed about this. There are also new clothes to be found for the 32 Orphans in the Boys' Orphan House, which likewise will cost many pounds. That expense also, I believed, God would help me to meet. Now observe the Lord's kindness! On returning this morning from the meeting, I found the following letter, containing £50.
Beloved Brother,
"Having been led, during the past year, to see the unscripturalness of life insurance, which I had been carrying on for some years previously, I now enclose you the sum which I received from the office, on returning to them my policy, viz. £22 8s., and the payment due about this time, eleven guineas, as a thankoffering to the Lord for having, chiefly by means of the work in which you are engaged in Bristol, opened my eyes in some little measure to His will with regard to His pilgrim people here. I add also ten pounds, which you will kindly apply to the help of those who are labouring in the gospel abroad, or if more urgent, at home. Also will you oblige me by accepting six pounds for your own use?"
March 6th. By sale of articles and Reports £4 13s. 2d., from a poor brother 6d., and through the boxes in my house £1 1s. 6d.—This evening, Tuesday, I find that since last Tuesday evening again £44 1s. 6¾d. has come in. Thus I have the means to meet all the housekeeping expenses during the coming week.
The greater the Difficulties, the easier for Faith
Whilst preparing these extracts from my journal for the press, I remember to have heard the following remarks made with reference to the time about which I am just now writing, namely, the season of dearth during the winter of 1846–7: "I wonder how it is now with the Orphans? If Mr. Müller is now able to provide for them as he has, we will say nothing." When I heard such remarks, I said nothing except this: "We lack nothing; "or "God helps us." Should this fall into the hands of any who have had such thoughts, let them remember that it is the very time for faith to work, when sight ceases. The greater the difficulties, the easier for faith. As long as there remain certain natural prospects, faith does not get on even as easily (if I may say so) as when all natural prospects fail. It is true that during the time of the dearth our expenses were considerably greater than usual; it is also true that many persons, who otherwise might have given, were unable to do so, or had their surplus directed into other channels, such as Ireland, etc.; but the gold and silver are the Lord's. To Him we made our prayer. In Him we put our trust. And He did not forsake us. For we went as easily through that winter as through any winter since the work had been in existence. Nor could it be otherwise; for God had at this very time a special opportunity of showing the blessedness of trusting in Him. Seek, dear reader, more and more to put your trust in Him for everything, and you will, even concerning this life, find it most precious to do so.
March 10th. I was able, last evening, to meet most comfortably all the expenses for the coming week; yet we had then nothing left, as I put by the rest of the money, that we might not get into debt with regard to the rent, the expenses of the apprentices, etc. When now there was again nothing left for future housekeeping expenses, a Christian lady at a considerable distance informed me by this morning's post, that she had paid into the hands of my bankers the sum of £100, for the benefit of the Orphans.
May 1st. From March 10th up to this day there came in £132 10s. 5¾d. Before the means in hand were expended the Lord always gave a fresh supply. This evening, Saturday, May 1st, I gave myself especially to prayer for means, as we were now again very poor, there being no means to meet the housekeeping expenses on next Tuesday evening, when fresh supplies are to be given to the matrons. About half an hour after I had risen from my knees, I received from a friend to the Institution a letter, containing £10.
May 13th. This afternoon was given to me £50, being left to my disposal, as might be most needed. Being so exceedingly poor as to means for the Orphans, and having heavy expenses to meet, I put this £50 to the Orphan Fund for present use.
May 30th. Lord's day morning. I have just now received, in this our great need, when there was not sufficient in hand to meet the necessities of to-morrow, £6 6s. from a Christian gentleman of title at Zurich, in Switzerland, a distance of about one thousand miles.
What a most seasonable help! Thus I am able to send all the remainder of the supplies which are needed till Tuesday evening.
In these days of straitness, the question would naturally arise: If, when you have only to care for 130 Orphans, you are so poor, what will you do when there are 300, for whom you are just on the point of building a house? And further, Is it not an indication not to increase the work, seeing you are now so poor with only about one third of the number of Orphans which you purpose to receive into the New Orphan House?—I am not tried, however, with such thoughts; for I know that (1) Only for the trial of my faith, as heretofore, the Lord allows me now again to be poor. Never at any time have the expenses been so great for the work, as from May 26th, 1846, to May 26th, 1847; but also never has so much come in in the same space of time during any other period of this work. (2) It is for the profit of the Church at large, that we have now again to pass through these days of poverty. (3) I know that it is as easy for the Lord to supply us with all the means that the work will require when once the New Orphan House is opened, as it is for Him to give us what we need now, though the expenses in all likelihood will then be two thousand five hundred pounds a year more than they are at present.
June 2nd. This afternoon the Lord has shown afresh in my experience the truth of the Word: "Only believe." I received a letter containing £40, of which £10 is for brother Craik and myself, £10 for home and foreign labourers, and £20 for present use for the Orphans. Thus I am enabled to send the money required for housekeeping for this week, till Tuesday, the 8th. Oh, how kind of the Lord to help us again and again.
June 17th. When we were once more quite poor, I received to-day from a Christian gentleman at Edinburgh, whom God has repeatedly used to help us in times of need, a Bank Order for £35. Of this amount £5 had been given to him by a lady for the Orphans, £25 was from himself for the Orphans, and £5 he kindly intended for my own personal necessities.
August 2nd. I was absent from Bristol from July 1st to August 2nd. During this time £133 11s. 4½d. was received, and the sums came in so seasonably, that there was not any difficulty at all experienced with regard to means.
August 21st. To-day more money was needed for housekeeping; I gave myself to prayer. And now see the precious answer. By the first delivery this morning a letter came from Birmingham, signed W. R., which contained a half-sovereign, of which the anonymous donor wished 7s. 6d. to be used for the Orphans, also a gentleman, who did not give his name, left at my house two sovereigns and one shilling.—Evening. Still further help. About two o'clock this afternoon a lady from London, who about a year ago had read the Narrative of the Lord's dealings with me, in passing through Bristol left a sovereign at my house for the Orphans, feeling that she could not go on without doing so.—This evening also I received a letter from Scarborough with five pounds.
August 22nd. Altogether £14 5s. 3d. has come in during these two days.
All, who have spiritual eyes to see, cannot but observe in reading these facts—(1) the reality of dealing with God Himself directly; (2) the blessedness of trusting in Him; and (3) His most particular providence.
September 13th. WHILE I WAS ON MY KNEES IN PRAYER, there came a letter from Yorkshire, containing £5 for the Orphans.
September 14th. I have been able to supply the matrons this evening with what they need for the coming week, and that which was left I put by for the rent and current expenses connected with the apprentices, and am now looking out for fresh supplies, as I have again nothing left towards the need of the following week.
My dear reader, if you are tired of going on with this account of the Lord's gracious interpositions for us week after week, or day after day, I beseech you to lay it aside for the present. Take it up at another time. This Narrative is not of an ordinary character. It does not contain anecdotes for amusement; it relates no embellished tales; it gives facts in which the hand of God is seen stretched out on our behalf, as the result of prayer and faith. Seek to admire God, dear reader, in this simple Narrative of Facts which are related to His praise, and to allure your heart more and more for Him, and which are brought before you in all simplicity to encourage you and to stir you up, if it may please God so to use His servant, to put your whole trust in Him. I judge that it will be the more profitable way to read this account by little and little.
September 17th. A Christian lady at Richmond, having received a copy of my Narrative, read aloud in the hearing of another lady the account about A. L. (pages 84 to 87). The lady who heard it read was so touched by it, that she sent £10 for the Orphans. God moved her heart to send me this donation at a time when I had only a few shillings in hand for the use of the Orphans!—There came in still further from Clifton 10s., and from Taunton 5s.
September 25th. So little having come in, I was able to give to the matrons only as much as would last for about two days for provisions.
October 2nd. Saturday. As to-day more money was needed, one of the labourers supplied the present need till Monday morning, which took £3.—Evening. This afternoon, when there was nothing at all in my hands for the work, I received from a little boy 1s. This evening a box arrived from Norwich, filled by the contributions of many believers. It contained in money £1 10s., and numerous valuable articles of jewellery, etc., for sale.
October 8th. To-day 10s. more was required towards housekeeping expenses; but nothing had come in since the 6th. One of the labourers was able of his own means to give the amount required.
October 12th. This evening at a quarter to ten o'clock I received £180. Of this sum I put £40 to the Orphan Fund for present use. How good is the Lord! How precious this help! How much needed and how seasonable!
Visits the North of England
On October 19th I left Bristol with my dear wife, partly because both of us much needed change of air, and partly because I had a great desire to labour in the Word for a few weeks in Westmoreland and Cumberland. I was not able to leave more means than enough for about three days for housekeeping expenses. But I could not have stayed in Bristol, though there had been nothing at all in hand; my hope was that God would help during my absence. During all the time of my stay at Bowness, in Westmoreland, from October 20th to November 20th, there was day by day, with the exception of the first three days after my departure, need to wait upon God for daily supplies for the Orphans. In consequence of this, every donation, without exception, which was received during my absence, came in most seasonably. Partly on account of my health, and partly on account of opportunities for service in Westmoreland and elsewhere, I did not feel it right to return to Bristol sooner than I did, though there was such great poverty; nor could I have done anything in Bristol which I could not do in Westmoreland, as regards procuring means, since prayer and faith are all the means I make use of to obtain supplies when we are in need.
From November 20th to 24th we stayed at Keswick. Whilst there I received 13s. 6d. for the Orphans. This was at once sent off to Bristol, by an Order, as we were still very poor, with regard to means for housekeeping expenses for the Orphan Houses. But notwithstanding all this great poverty in Bristol, which required that we should day by day wait upon God, for our daily supplies, I did not feel at all led to return home, but had a special drawing to go to Sunderland to labour there for a little while among the brethren assembling at "Bethesda Free Chapel." We therefore left Keswick on November 24th for Sunderland. December 8th we returned to Bristol from Sunderland. Day by day while we were at Sunderland also, the Orphan Fund was very low, but God helped day by day, by sending in the means, and when we returned there was 1s. 11d. in hand, and £2 came in that same evening from Plymouth.
December 9th. From the neighbourhood of Pershore came in this morning most seasonably, £5, as the need for housekeeping expenses to-day was £4, and there was only £2 1s. 11d. in hand. This £5 came in about an hour before the £4 was needed.—Will you not, dear reader, unite with me in admiring and praising the Lord, who so seasonably helped all the time that I was away from the work, engaged in His service in another way? Do you not see how precious it is to have God to go to, and to find Him ever willing to help those who trust in Him, wherever they be? Do you not also see again the hand of God so manifestly stretched out on our behalf this day, December 9th? The sum of £4 was needed, but only £2 1s. 11d. was in hand, and, an hour before the £4 was called for from the Orphan Houses for housekeeping expenses, the Lord sent that £5 from Pershore.
December 15th. Yesterday afternoon I received £3, of which £2 was from Madeira. This £3 was paid away at once, though not needed for housekeeping, so that I had still nothing for the need of to-day, when this day began.—My prayer last evening and this morning had been specially, that the Lord would not only be pleased to send me some money for the housekeeping expenses of to-day, but also enable me to give at least a little money to eight of the sisters who labour in the four Orphan Houses, who have not had any money for their own personal necessities for several months. This desire was granted to me, for I received this morning a letter from Wakefield with £20, in which the donor writes: "I hasten to enclose £20, which I leave to your disposal; but if the varied funds are so situated as to give no material preponderance of need to any one, I should divide it as under, viz., £10 to the Orphans, £5 to yourself and colleague, and £5 for the Bibles, etc." I took all this £20 for the Orphans, and have thus the joy of being able to send at least £16 to those eight sisters, and am also supplied with housekeeping money for to-day; and as for tomorrow, my eyes are upon the Lord. The Lord be praised for this precious and seasonable help!
December 23rd. The need of to-day was £11, having several expenses to meet besides those of housekeeping, which amounted to £4 for today. This sum the Lord gave me thus: last evening I received £1. But as I knew how much there would be needed to-day, I waited further upon the Lord this morning for help, and, in ONE MINUTE after I had risen from my knees, I received a letter from Liverpool with £10 for the Orphans. The donor writes: "I have had the enclosed tenpound note in my drawer for some time, intending to send it to you for the Orphans; but my time is so occupied that I have overlooked it. I now however enclose it," etc.—How seasonable this help! How exactly to the very shilling what is needed to-day! How remarkable that just now this donor in Liverpool is led to send the ten pounds which had been, according to his own words, for some time in his drawer for the purpose of sending it! All this abundantly proves the most minute and particular providence of God and His readiness to answer the supplications of His children.
December 29th. Yesterday evening I met at our usual weekly prayer meeting with all the labourers in the Schools and Orphan Houses, to seek the Lord's blessing upon the work, and upon the children under our care in particular. Among other points the state of the funds also was a subject for prayer, on account of the great need in every way. For we need money for the Schools, as I shall not be able next week to pay to the teachers in the Day Schools their usual weekly salary, except mean a should come in for them. The stock of tracts and Bibles is also becoming very small. Also for eleven weeks I have scarcely been able to send any help to home and foreign labourers. This especially we prayed about. And as to the Orphans, I had again only 9d. in hand for housekeeping expenses; this had come in at the meeting. However, my heart, by God's goodness, was at peace, and as I had now with my fellow labourers been again able to bring all our necessities before the Lord, I was looking out for help. After the meeting one of the teachers gave me 1s. 6d. for the Orphans, saying, The Lord will give you more to-morrow morning. This I expected myself; for we were in need for housekeeping expenses for to-day, and we had been waiting upon God for means. Accordingly this morning, when I had only 2s. 3d. in hand, I received from Devonshire £15 for the Orphans.
How good is the Lord! How seasonable again this supply! I had been just again in prayer about the work, and about this day's necessities, and AT THE VERY MOMENT that I rose from my knees this letter was given to me.—There was also another letter from Essex, containing £1 5s. for the Orphans. Thus I was again abundantly supplied for this day, and was able to put by the rest for rent and the expenses connected with the apprentices, trusting in the Lord for fresh supplies.
December 30th. When this day began, we were without anything for the necessities of the day, though I had reason to believe that several pounds would again be required. I was therefore again looking out for fresh supplies. Accordingly, about ten o'clock this morning, a brother in the Lord, who had come last evening to stay for a night in my house, gave me £10, to be used as it might be most needed. To be noticed in connection with this donation is: (1) I had, not long since, received a donation from him. (2) This brother had generally stated how he wished his donations to be appropriated, and they had been chiefly for missionary purposes; but this time he left it to me to use this money as most needed, and therefore I could take of it what was needed for the Orphans. (3) We were now extremely poor also with regard to the funds for all the other Objects, so that I was obliged to tell the teachers of the Day Schools last Tuesday evening, 28th, that if no fresh supplies came in, I should not be able to give them their weekly salaries, as usual, next Tuesday evening, being now poorer in this particular than I had been for years. How kind, therefore, of the Lord, not only to give me this money through this brother at this time, but also to dispose his heart to leave the application of it to me as most needed. I took half of it for this day's housekeeping expenses for the Orphans, and half for the School Fund, for the weekly salaries of the teachers next Tuesday.
December 31st. The last day of another year has now come. Great and many have been the mercies of God to met his year in every way, particularly also in connection with the Orphans; but now I had again nothing for to-day, except two shillings which are in one of the boxes in my house. I was, however, by God's grace, able to look out for supplies for this last day of another year also, being fully assured that the Lord would not confound me. And thus it has been, according to my expectation, for, before being called on for money, I received £100, which was left to me to apply to any part of the Lord's service where there seemed the most need. At the same time I received £5 for the Orphans from Teignmouth. Of the £100 I took half for the Orphans. It was indeed a most seasonable help! I am thus able to meet all the expenses for housekeeping for to-day, all the present expenses connected with the apprentices, and am able to give £16 to eight of the sisters who labour in the Orphan Houses, for their own personal necessities. How good is the Lord! How can I sufficiently praise Him for this seasonable help!
February 2nd. This morning I had only one farthing left, like the handful of meal in the barrel, when on my usual walk before breakfast I felt myself led out of my usual track, into a direction in which I had not gone for some months. In stepping over a stile I said to myself: "Perhaps God has a reason even in this." About five minutes afterwards I met a Christian gentleman who gave me two sovereigns for the Orphans, and then I knew the reason why I had been led this way. Thus the farthing has been already multiplied.—Evening. This afternoon I received still further from a brother £1 1s., also a letter from Portsea containing £1 10s. The letter from Portsea contained these words: "Please accept it as another token of the Lord's watchful care for you and yours." How true! How exemplified in this very donation at this time!
It is now many years since I have made my boast in the living God in so public a manner by my publications. On this account Satan unquestionably is waiting for my halting, and, if left to myself, I should fall a prey to him. Pride, unbelief, or other sins would be my ruin, and lead me to bring a most awful disgrace upon the name of Jesus. Oh, that none of my dear readers might admire me, and be astonished at my faith, and think of me as if I were beyond unbelief! Oh, that none of my dear readers might think, that I could not be puffed up by pride, or in other respects most awfully dishonour God, and thus at last, though God has used me in blessing hitherto to so many, become a beacon to the Church of Christ! No, I am as weak as ever, and need as much as ever to be upheld as to faith, and every other grace.
Should, however, the reader say that he thinks "I must find this a very trying life, and that I must be tired of it," I beg to state that he is entirely mistaken. I do not find the life in connection with this work a trying life, but a very happy one. It is impossible to describe the abundance of peace and heavenly joy that often has flowed into my soul by means of the fresh answers which I have obtained from God, after waiting upon Him for help and blessing; and the longer I have had to wait upon Him, or the greater my need was, the greater the enjoyment when at last the answer came, which has often been in a very remarkable way, in order to make the hand of God the more manifest. I therefore solemnly declare that I do not find this life a trying life, but a very happy one, and I am consequently not in the least tired of it. Straits and difficulties I expected from the very beginning. Before I began this service I expected them; nay, the chief object of it was, that the Church at large might be strengthened in faith, and be led more simply, habitually, and unreservedly to trust in the living God, by seeing His hand stretched out in my behalf in the hour of need. I did, therefore, expect trials, great trials and straits; but cheerfully, for the glory of God, and the profit of God's dear children, did I desire to pass through them, if only the saints might be benefited by the dealings of God with me. The longer I go on in this service, the greater the trials of one kind or another become; but, at the same time, the happier I am in this my service, and the more assured that I am engaged as the Lord would have me to be. How then could I be tired of carrying on the work of God on such principles as I do?
February 10th. This morning was given to me the sum of £100, which being left entirely to my disposal, I took of it £50 for the Orphans.—The Lord be praised for this most seasonable help! I am thus helped for the present for all the various parts of the work, and have especially two precious answers to my prayers concerning the Orphan work, in that I am able to get a new suit of clothes for all the boys, and to give some money to the sisters who labour in the Orphan Houses, for their own personal necessities.
March 23rd. When there was now again no money at all in hand, and when I had the prospect of needing fresh supplies to-morrow or the day after, a brother from Switzerland arrived at my house, and brought me £4, which some brethren at Vevey, in Switzerland, had contributed towards the support of the Orphans. What a variety of ways the Lord uses to supply our need! How remarkable that these Swiss brethren, who are just now in so much trial, should be led to send help towards this work!
April 13th. Thursday. On Tuesday evening I had given out for housekeeping all the money in hand, being £11. This was enough for three or four days. This morning I was now looking out for more, having requested the Lord to look upon our necessities; for tomorrow, or at the latest the day after to-morrow, fresh supplies will be needed. Now think, my dear reader, of the Lord's goodness, when I tell you that this very morning I received £90 for the Lord's work in my hands, the disposal of which sum was entirely left with me. I took of this sum £40 for the Orphans.
April 29th. Saturday. The expenses of to-day reduced our little stock of means to only a few shillings. About £20 will soon be needed. And now see, dear reader, how seasonably the Lord helped us again, and that from most unexpected quarters. This morning I received £100 from a brother, who is himself depending upon God for daily supplies whilst labouring in word and doctrine, but who has lately come into the possession of this sum, and who does not think it right to lay up treasure upon earth. Of this he wishes me to take £10 for my own personal necessities, to give to brother Craik £10, and to take £80 for the Orphans.—But this was not all. There was paid to mo to-day the legacy of £19 19s. left to me for the benefit of the Orphans by the late Mrs. B., an individual whom I do not remember ever to have seen in my life, and whom I only know by name. Observe this particular providence! At a time of need, of great need of means, this legacy comes in. The Will may have been made years ago, and the testatrix has been dead several months; but just at this time, when not only the £20 is needed next Tuesday for housekeeping, but other expenses of about £30 more are to be met in a few days, this legacy comes in.—To-day also I have received besides, £10 from Wiltshire, £1 4s. from Cumberland, 10s. from Birmingham, and £1 from a donor in Bristol. Thus in one day, in a time of great need, £112 13s. has come in.
May 26th. On this day the accounts were closed. I have been able to meet all the expenses connected with the support of the four Orphan Houses during the last two years, amounting to £3,228 5s. 11d., owe no one anything, and have on this 26th of May, 1848, £1 10s. 3¾d. left in hand.
May 26th, 1848, to May 26th, 1850
With only £1 10s. 3¾d. then we began our new year, whilst day by day above one hundred and thirty persons were to be provided for in the four Orphan Houses. Nor was there any money besides available except what had been advanced to the four matrons in the various Orphan Houses for the week's housekeeping, which was already more than half expended; and I had on the 30th to advance again many pounds for the following week. Place yourself now, dear reader, in my position, in order that you may the more clearly see the hand of God in what follows.
On the very next day, after the accounts were closed, May 27th, I received from Westmoreland £5, half of which sum was intended by the donor for the Orphans. This donation I took as an earnest out of the hands of the living God, that during the whole of this period also He would provide for these many Orphans, as He had done in former years.
May 29th. To-day I have received £100, which, being left to me as most needed, I took half for the Orphans. How kind of the Lord to refresh my heart thus in sending me this seasonable help at the very commencement of this period, as there was so little left in hand when the accounts were closed.
June 20th. There had come in £81 8s. 4d. since May 26th. Without any difficulty I had been able to meet all the expenses as they occurred; but now all our money was gone, and this evening I had again to advance the means for a week's housekeeping, whilst there was nothing in hand. Now observe, dear reader, how the Lord helped me! Whilst I was in the very act of beseeching the Lord for fresh supplies, two sisters in the Lord called, who desired to see my dear wife for a few minutes. It was for the purpose of giving her £15 for the Orphans.—About half an hour after, a brother from Devonshire called, who, on leaving, gave me £5 for the Orphans.
July 6th. The more the Lord is pleased to help me, the more, by His grace, I have confidence in Him. Therefore, though there were only a few shillings left the evening before last, I set myself to prayer that God would be pleased to send everything requisite for continuing this work. Accordingly, two ladies left to-day, anonymously, at the Infants' Orphan House, 2 old foreign gold watches, an old silver watch, a small gold chain, 6 gold mourning rings, a pair of gold earrings, and 2 necklaces. There was also given to-day 10s.
July 11th. By sale of trinkets, etc., £14 13s. 7d. From Gloucester £1, from Tenby 1s. 6d., anonymously 5s. and from one of the labourers in the work. 3s.—Thus I had again this evening enough to meet the ordinary housekeeping expenses for the coming week, but I am now looking out for fresh supplies to meet the expenses connected with ordering a fresh quantity of oatmeal from Scotland.
July 12th. The Lord has quickly given me an answer, and granted the desire of my heart. I received this morning a donation of £117 2s. 7d., to be used as the work of God in my hands might require.
August 9th. The Lord has been very kind to-day, and proved afresh that none who trust in Him shall be confounded. This evening, while I was walking in my little garden, lifting up my heart for further supplies for the work of God in my hands, there was given to me a registered letter from Liverpool, containing £20 for the Orphans. Thus I am able to send the remainder of the money which is needed for housekeeping expenses for this week.
August 22nd. Tuesday evening. I was able to advance the money needed for housekeeping during the coming week, and had 11¾d. left.—Think of this, dear reader! I had 11¾d. left, and about 130 persons were daily to be provided for, and yet we did not go into debt at that time for anything, nor do we now, nor have we from the commencement of this work. Nor did I make personal application to any one for anything, nor did I directly or indirectly speak about our need, so that persons might be influenced to give. But why not? you may say, dear reader. Simply because this work has for its first and primary end the benefit of the Church at large and of the unconverted world, to show that there is verily a God in Heaven whose ears are open to those who call upon Him in the name of the Lord Jesus, and who put their trust in Him. Cheerfully have I dedicated myself with all my physical, mental, and spiritual energies to this life of faith upon the living God, for everything that I need in connection with my own personal and family necessities, and in connection with the work of God in my hands, if but by any means, through it, multitudes of believers and unbelievers may be benefited. Thousands have been benefited by it already, but tens of thousands my heart longs to benefit. No trial, no difficulty, no hardships, no self-denial, will I, by God's help, count too much, if but this end may be attained.—I had then, as I said, 11¾d. left. Now observe how the Lord helped me again this time in answer to the supplications which the evening before, August 22nd, my fellow-labourers and myself had offered up to Him.
On August 23rd, the very next day, came in altogether £7 5s. 6d., whereby I was enabled to order 8 cwt. of rice, as I was informed the evening before that our store was exhausted.
August 29th. By the help of God, we have received by this Tuesday evening £42 3s. 9d., while last Tuesday evening there was only 11¾d. left. How kindly has the Lord, therefore, in answer to our supplications, increased "the handful of meal in the barrel!"
Only Believe
August 30th. Wednesday evening. I relate now how we were helped in answer to our prayers, this time, when nothing was left. I had this evening a long season for prayer for the work, and sought also especially help from God as to means for present use for the Orphans. While I was in prayer, a parcel of clothes was brought from Weymouth for the benefit of the Orphans, and shortly after another parcel. A few minutes after I had finished praying, I received an anonymous letter from Teignmouth, containing £1 and these lines: "The Lord permits me to send you the enclosed. Dear brother, 'Only believe,' 'O how great is Thy goodness, which Thou hast laid up for them that fear Thee; which Thou hast wrought for them that trust in Thee BEFORE THE SONS OF MEN.' Yours ever in Him."—How again has been fulfilled in my experience that word, "Only believe!" I am now looking out for more, for I shall shortly again need many pounds, for the current expenses.
September 4th. A very poor Christian widow, having come into the possession of £10 through the death of her mother, gave £1 of it for the Orphans.
(This sister in the Lord has since fallen asleep. Will she regret the gift now?)
September 5th. This evening, Tuesday, it was found that the Lord had sent in again since last Tuesday evening, when there was nothing in hand, nearly £50, so that I have been able to meet all the extra expenses of the week.
September 27th. When to-day there was again only a few shillings in hand, I received from Sunderland £2 19s. 6d. for Reports. Also from a sister in Bristol 10s., from another 10s., as the profit from the sale of ladies' baskets, and from Plymouth £1.
October 10th. By this evening, Tuesday, the sum of £26 2s. 8½d. had come in. I was, therefore, able to meet all the housekeeping expenses of the coming week, besides having paid away £8 15s. for apprentices, etc., and have 12s. 8d. left in hand. My heart is assured that the Lord will help further.
Now, dear reader, did the Lord help this time also? Yes, He did. Could it be otherwise? No; for "They that trust in the Lord shall never be confounded." Let mo then relate to you the way in which God helped us.
October 11th. At our meeting yesterday evening we made our supplication to God that He would be pleased to help us further. Immediately after the meeting I received 10s. Also when I came home I found that 6s. had been brought from Gosport for Reports, and 1s. 6d. as the proceeds of an Orphan box at Gosport. Also 5s. was put by the bearer of the money into an Orphan box at my house, who also brought a woollen shawl.—To-day £1 was left at one of the Orphan Houses by "an aged person of a Bristol alms house," who would not give her name.
October 15th. From A. S. A., 13s. 5d. From Barnstaple £1. From Yorkshire £5, with these words: "Please to accept the enclosed £5 as a thankoffering to God for an answer to prayer, in the conversion of a soul. I should like half of it to go to the Orphans, the other half I leave to your discretion."
Gift of £1,000 at a time of great need
November 9th. Only 5s. 6d. had come in yesterday. To-morrow more money will be needed for housekeeping. In this our poverty I received this morning £1,000. The money being left to me for disposal as it might be most needed, I took of it £100 for present use of the Orphans. I have thus the means which are yet needed for this week's housekeeping expenses, besides being able to meet heavy expenses which are before me.
February 20th. For three months and ten days, since November 9th, 1848, the donations have always come in so, that we abounded during the whole period, there having been always fresh donations received, before all the money in hand was disbursed. Now to-day there was no money in hand for advancing the amount needed for the next week's housekeeping. All the money in hand was due for rent, and therefore unavailable, as I never go in debt for anything. In this our need there was given to me this afternoon the sum of £200, which was left to my disposal. I took £100 for the Orphans.
April 10th. Received this afternoon the following letter:—
Dear Brother,
"I have the pleasure to-day of sowing a little more seed-corn for eternity. Employ the enclosed £50, if you please, for the support of the Orphans. The remaining £5 be pleased to divide between yourself and dear brother Craik.
"Yours very truly in Christ, ——."
From the same donor I had recently had two donations of £120 and £100.
April 18th. To-day I received a donation of £250, of which I took £100 for the Orphans. Never were the current expenses for the Orphans nearly so great as they are now, but at the same time never was the income nearly so great.
From April 19th to May 23rd, the Lord was pleased to send in still further many donations.
May 23rd. To-day I received £360, of which I took half for the current expenses for the Orphans.