Review Of The Year 1840.
III. It may lastly be said, but how shall I set about rising early? My advice is, 1. Commence at once, delay it not. Tomorrow begin to rise. 2. But do not depend upon your own strength. This may be the reason why, before this, you may have begun to rise early, but have given it up. As surely as you depend upon your own strength in this matter, it will come to nothing. In every good work we depend upon the Lord, and in this thing we shall feel especially how weak we are. If any one rises that he may give the time which he takes from sleep, to prayer and meditation, let him be sure that Satan will try to put obstacles in the way. 3. Do trust in the Lord for help, You will honour Him, if you expect help from Him in this matter. Give yourself to prayer for help, expect help, and you will have it. 4. Use, however, in addition to this, the following means: a, Go early to bed. If you stay up late, you cannot rise early. Let no society and no pressure of engagements keep you from going habitually early to bed. If you fail in this, you neither can nor ought to get up early, as your body requires rest. Keep also particularly in mind, that neither for the body nor the soul is it the same thing, whether you go to bed late and rise late, or whether you go to bed early and rise early. Even medical persons will tell you how injurious it is to sit up late, and to spend the morning hours in bed; but how much more important still is it to retire early and to rise early, in order to make sure of time for prayer and meditation before the business of the day commences, and to devote to those exercises that part of our time, when the mind and the body are most fresh, in order thus to obtain spiritual strength for the conflict, the trials, and the work of the day. b, Let some one call you, if possible, at the time which you have determined before God that you will rise; or procure, what is still better, an alarum, by which you may regulate almost to a minute the time when you wish to rise. For about 12s. a little German clock, with an alarum, may be bought almost in every town. Though I have very many times been awakened by the Lord, in answer to prayer, almost to the minute when I desired to rise; yet I thought it well to procure an alarum, to assist me in my purpose of rising early: not indeed as if it could give the least help, without the Lord's blessing, for I should remain in bed, notwithstanding the noise of the alarum, were He not to give me grace to rise; but simply looking upon it as a means. c, Rise at once when you are awake. Remain not a minute longer in bed, else you are likely to fall asleep again. d, Be not discouraged by feeling drowsy and tired in consequence of your rising early. This will soon wear off. You will after a few days feel yourself stronger and fresher than when you used to lie an hour or two longer than you needed. e, Allow yourself always the same hours for sleep. Make no change, except sickness oblige you. .
Plymouth, Oct. 1. Today my soul was again especially drawn out in prayer for the dear Orphans. I not merely asked the Lord that He would still continue to supply their need, but I was so fully assured that He had sent the necessary means since I last heard, that I was enabled to praise Him for having done so. Immediately after I had praised Him, but while I was yet on my knees, came another letter from brother T., dated Bristol, Sept. 29, in which he writes thus:
"The Lord's help has been graciously continued to us since I wrote last. Ever since your absence, the supplies have come in so seasonably, that I have not had occasion, until now, of opening the boxes in the Orphan-Houses. There came in, since my last account, from a sister 2s. 6d., with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, 1l.. 1s. 6d., through Mr. C. of Bath, 2l. 3s. 4d., from the boxes 14s. 6 1/2d., from A. M. B. 5s. Some apples besides have been given, some old clothes, and a large bath to be sold or used. I gave on Thursday to the sisters 10l., and today for the Boys'-Orphan-House 1l. 10s. After this I have in hand 1l. 3s. 8 3/4d., to be multiplied as the Lord wills. I had written thus far, and was on the point of writing that we expected sister E. home this evening, when the door-bell rang, and sister E. came in, bringing a little packet of money, directed to you, from Hereford, enclosing a letter and ten sovereigns "for your labours of faith and love;" so that the remainder of the barrel of meal has been multiplied somewhat already. It is most seasonable help! It rejoices me that it has come in time, for you to have the intelligence with this letter. I have in hand l9s. for the other funds, therefore it seems well to me, if it should be needed before I hear from you, to take only 5l. for the Orphans; but, if it pleases the Lord to enable us to do without, I shall leave it untouched until you write. In addition to what I have written, I have just received 10s. and 1l. 9s. 3d. How gracious!"
The time from October 6th to the 17th I spent among the brethren at Bideford and Barnstaple, with great refreshment to my own soul, and was also allowed by the Lord to minister to them. The whole of my stay among the children of God in Devonshire has been very profitable to me. May my soul not lose the blessing of it! How the Lord uses our infirmity of body for the blessing of our souls! In my case also it was instrumental in communicating blessing to others. I was able to speak more frequently in public, while absent from Bristol, than I should have done under ordinary circumstances, had I remained in Bristol.
Barnstaple, Oct. 10. The day before yesterday I had 10s. given to me here for the Orphans; and yesterday 3l., which came in most seasonably, as will appear from the following letter which I received this evening from brother T.
Bristol, Oct. 8th, 1839.
"My dear Brother, we have continued to enjoy the gracious help of the Lord since I last wrote to you. Nearly up to that time the supplies had come in so seasonably, that the previous disbursements had scarcely ever been expended, before I was again able to make a fresh one. Since then, however, we have been twice a little straitened. On Friday evening we were in prospect of Saturday's necessities, and had nothing to meet them, except the money about which I was in doubt from not having received directions from you. I had already used 5l. out of the 10l. which had been sent, and now, after waiting till it was actually needed, we thought it an indication, as none had been sent, that this should all go to the Orphan-Houses. On Monday again more money was needed than I had in hand, but we were in expectation of help. After dinner, as nothing had come in, I thought it well to open the boxes, thinking, that, although I had opened them so recently, I had no right to presume that the Lord had not had time to pour into them. The expectation was not in vain; for in the box at the Boys'-Orphan-House I found 1l. 0s. 1 1/2d., in the box at the Girls'-Orphan-House 7s. 1d. At the latter place I met sister A. who gave me 3s. for things that she had sold. Thus we were most graciously helped through Monday. Then, in the evening, at the meeting I received from sister B. 2s., and through sister C. 11s. I had opened the box at the Infant-Orphan-House on Monday, and found it empty. But today, finding the 13s. insufficient, and being told that something had been put in, I opened it, and found 3s. 6d., which nicely helped us through. And we are now looking to the Lord for more. In the mean time I shall this morning attend to the sale of whatever has been given to be sold. It comforts us to know you are praying for us," &c.
The money which I had received yesterday and the day before yesterday here, at Barnstaple, and two weeks ago at Teignmouth, enabled me now to send off at once 5l.
On Oct. 17th I returned to Bristol, with renewed strength, for active service.
Oct. 17. Bristol. The Lord has been again very gracious as it regards the funds; for during the last three days, while I was at Barnstaple, I received from a sister 5s., two rings, and a brooch. From another sister a gold watch, to be sold for the Orphans. From a brother a seal, two ear-rings, and a brooch. From a third sister sixteen books to be sold; also 4l., the produce of a veil. From a fourth sister 2l. 10s., and from a fifth 1l., and from five others 8s. 9d. In addition to this I found when I came home, that though my fellow-labourers had been greatly tried a few days previous to my return, so much so, that, when the 5l. arrived which I sent from Barnstaple, they were in greater poverty than they ever had been; yet, within the last days, several pounds had come in, and yesterday, over and above all this, arrived 15l. from London for some articles which had been sent there to be sold. What can we render unto the Lord for all His benefits!
Oct. 19. The Lord is still pouring in bountifully! This morning 10l. was sent from Worcester, and a sister brought 7l., being the produce of the sale of ladies' baskets, which she and some other sisters are making for the benefit of the Orphans. This last case shows what various means the Lord uses to provide for our need; yet all comes without one single individual being asked to give help; for to the Lord alone we speak about our need. We are now again comparatively rich, i. e. we have means in hand to meet the current expenses of about eight days, which has been only two or three times the case during the last fifteen months.
Oct. 30. A little boy brought me a letter, given to him by a gentleman and lady in the street, as he said, to take to my house. The letter contained these words with a five pound note: "The enclosed 5l. accept for the benefit of the Orphans, in the name of the Lord Jesus."
Nov. 5. Today an Orphan was brought from Bath, and a lady sent by her servant, the aunt of the child, a sovereign for the Orphans, when there was but 3s. 11d. in hand. It has been thus repeatedly, that when orphans have been brought, and we had no money, or scarcely any, that the Lord sent a little with these poor children. It never is with us any question, whether there is much or little money in hand, so far as it regards the reception of children; but only, whether there is room.
Nov. 8. We are now again quite poor. The Lord gave us to know more than usually from Oct. 17th to Oct. 31st what it is to abound, and now we know again what it is to be poor. It would have been desirable to have had 3l. today, but only 1l. 3s. 11d, was in hand, which I sent off. In our need we were led to open the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, which had not been done for some weeks, and in them was found 16s. 2 1/2d. To this one of the labourers added 9s. By this 2l. 9s. 1 1/2d. we could meet those expenses which needed to be met, and we were thus helped through the day.
Nov. 9. Saturday. 3l. 0s. 6d. was required today, in order comfortably to meet the present demands, but not one penny was in hand. Between ten and eleven I went to the Girls'-Orphan-House, to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. Only 2s. had come in. This was all I could leave. There was every thing in the houses which was required for the moment, and I proposed that we should meet again for prayer in the afternoon at four. When we did so, one of the labourers gave 8s. 6d., another 10s., another 5s. 6d., so that I had as much to give to the matrons as would provide comfortably all the necessaries for the children till Monday morning; only the usual quantity of bread could not be taken in. About half an hour, after we had separated, came in 1l. 10s., the produce of the sale of a shawl, which a sister from Devonshire had given for that purpose some days since. Thus we had altogether 2l. 16s., whereas when the day commenced we had no natural prospect of any thing. This is a new sweet encouragement. Besides this, our Father has given us another proof of His continued care, in that twenty sacks of potatoes and a small barrel of herrings have been sent for the Orphans.
Nov. 11. Monday morning. Yesterday, when, as just related, there was not a penny in hand, there was given to me, with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, ten shillings. This morning came in 1l. 10s, more, Soon afterwards a note was sent to me from the Orphan-Houses, to say that the need of today would be 3l. JUST WHILE I WAS READING THE NOTE I received another, including a sovereign, which a sister from Devonshire had given to one of the brethren for the Orphans. Thus I had just the 3l. which was needed. A few minutes after came in 1s. more.
Nov. 12. The need of today was 2l. As only 1s. had been left in hand yesterday, and no more than 6s. had come in, we were again in a strait. But I was not looking at the little in hand, but at the fulness of God. I sent off the little which I had. In the afternoon we met for prayer. I then found that 2s. 6d. had been taken out of the box in the Infant-Orphan-House, and that 4s. more had come in by the sale of some old books. To this one of the labourers added 2s. 3d., all she had of her own. After prayer came in 2s. 6d., which had been given while we were in prayer. In the evening we met again for prayer, when another labourer gave 3s. 4d. Thus, in our deep poverty, we got together this day 1l. 0s. 7d., which supplied our absolute necessities. We were this afternoon so reduced, till the Lord sent a little help, that there were no means to provide breakfast for tomorrow, for the children in the Boys'-Orphan-House.
Nov. 13. Nothing has come in. Our need is even greater today than yesterday, on account of our not having been able yesterday to take in the usual quantity of provisions. In this our need I packed up the books, which had been intended for sale on Aug. 22, when the Lord sent such a rich, supply, before they were actually disposed of. To them one of the labourers added some of his own, and a few other articles. Also some old jackets, which had been sent, were packed up to be disposed of. At twelve I met with my fellow-labourers for prayer.
There was every thing in the houses which was needed for dinner, but there were no means to get milk for tea. (The children have milk and water at tea time.) Three of my helpers went out to dispose of the articles. At four in the afternoon I received the information that 14s. had come in, for some of the things which were disposed of. One of my fellow-labourers had besides disposed of an article of his own for 1l. 5s. This 1l. 19s. enabled us to take in bread as usual, and to defray the other necessary expenses. We had never been lower in means than yesterday and today. Yet my soul, thanks to the Lord! was also yesterday and today in perfect peace. My helpers seem also quite in peace. This evening I received 2s. 6d., and 11s. with Ecclesiastes ix. 10. This little money is as precious, as at other times 100l. would have been, because it is a fresh proof that our Father still cares for us. The money was given to me just after I had been speaking on these words: "But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me." Whilst speaking I was able, in a measure, to realize the preciousness of the truth contained in those words, and after speaking my Father gave me a fresh proof that He is thinking upon me.
Nov. 14. I took the 13s. 6d. which was given last evening, early this morning, to the Orphan-Houses, where I found that 10s. 6d. had come in by the sale of a Hebrew Old and a Greek New Testament, which a brother had given who had more than one copy; and 1s. 6d. for another book. This 1l. 5s. 6d. has been divided, in the hope that our kind Father will remember us before the day is over, and send in more. This afternoon, when we met for prayer, I found that 18s. more had come in for some articles which had been sold. We have had thus 2l. 3s. 6d. this day to divide for housekeeping. By the good hand of the Lord upon us, there has been every thing really needful. May the Lord look upon us, and help us further! Surely, He will do it!
Nov. 15. We are still in deep poverty. Nothing had come in by four o'clock in the afternoon, when I went to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. I did not go in the morning, because I knew that there was every thing which was needed till the afternoon. When I came I found that a sister had given 2s. 6d.; a new Bible which one of the labourers had given, who had more than one old copy, had been sold for 10s.; also 2s. had come in, and 1s. 4d. for some other articles which had been sold. This 15s. 10d. supplied that which was absolutely needed for today. We are still of good courage. We are sure that the Lord, in His own time, will deliver us out of the trial; for were our poverty more than a trial of faith, had the Lord in anger shut up His hands, we should not receive any thing at all. But this is not the case. For even this very day two sacks of potatoes were sent by the same brother who sent twenty sacks a few days since, with the promise to send still more. We have no means to lay in a stock for the winter, else we should have bought, perhaps, fifty or sixty sacks; but our kind Father does it for us. There has been also a toy chest of drawers promised for sale.
Nov. 16. Our prayer was last evening, in particular, respecting the necessities of today, as two days' provisions would be needed, it being Saturday. Besides this, about 2l. 10s. was needed to pay the weekly salaries of the brethren and sisters who labour in the Day-Schools. For all these demands there was nothing in hand, nor have we any more needless articles to dispose of; and useful ones we do not consider it right to sell, as our Father knows our need. When we met about twelve o'clock this morning, I found that last evening there had been Bibles unexpectedly sold to the amount of 1l. 11s. 6d., and about 10s. had been given besides. Thus we had nearly enough for the School-Fund. Moreover, 15s. had come in for the Orphan-Fund. A large sea-chest was given by a brother several months since, for the benefit of the Orphans, which had never been disposed of, and which, in this our great need, was sold for 15s. Yet this 15s. was needed to pay what was due for washing; and, therefore, we had still nothing to take in provisions with. It occurred to one of the labourers, that there might be a little advanced on his watch, of the money which had been laid by for rent, as had once or twice before been done; and that the watch might be sold at quarter-day, in case there should not come in enough to make up the deficiency. Yet even this plan we did not any longer think to be quite Scriptural, as he needs the watch in the Lord's service, and as our Lord is so kind, that He would otherwise send us means, were it well for us. In short, it appeared to us quite clear, that while we ought, in such a strait, to dispose of things which we do not need, nothing ought to be disposed of which is needed, in order that the Lord's own deliverance might be so much the more manifest. All we could think of for sale was five pewter dishes, which had been given nearly four years ago, but which were never used, as they were not convenient. These we agreed should be sold. About four o'clock this afternoon I received 2l. 2s., which a brother and sister had brought from Leicestershire. With this I went joyfully to the Orphan-Houses. There I found that 9s. 6d. had come in for the pewter dishes; one of the labourers had given 10s. for the Orphans, and 10s. for the School-Fund. (There had come in 2s. more for the other funds. All demands were met, and there was 1s. 6d. over.) Besides this, one of the labourers had sold a book of his own for 4s., and another labourer gave two pairs of new gloves, and four gentlemen's stocks. One pair of the gloves had been sold. Thus altogether had come in 4l. 2s. 3d., and therefore about 1l. 10s. more than was needed. We are now brought to the close of one more week. This has been, perhaps, of all the weeks the most trying. So much prayer, and so little coming in, I never knew. Yet, by the grace of God, I was sure that help would come, after the trial of faith was over. During the whole of this week, greatly as we have been tried, and though twice no stock of bread could be taken in, yet there has been nourishing food at every meal, and neither the children nor any other person can have perceived our poverty. About 13l. has been spent even this week for housekeeping in the three Orphan-Houses.
Nov. 18. Monday. The Lord has kindly sent in since Saturday evening 3l. 18s. 3 1/4d., and thus our need for today is supplied. On Saturday evening the produce of an orphan-box, 5s. 1 1/4d., was given; and last evening a sister gave two sovereigns to brother Craik, waiting for him a long time in the chapel, till she could see him. She might have delayed giving it till another time, as she had to wait so long; but the Lord knew our need. There were also sent eight sack of potatoes, by the same brother who had sent twenty-two sacks before.
Nov. 19. As there was not enough money in hand for the necessities of today, we were again as poor as on Saturday. Between three and four in the afternoon the milk is generally taken in; but in the Boys'-Orphan-House there was not money enough to meet this small expense. However, the Lord knew our need, and sent us at two o'clock 13s., which helped us comfortably through the day. A sister had purposed in her heart to give 3d. a week for the Orphans, and she felt herself stirred up to bring the yearly amount now, in this our extremity.
Nov. 20. This has been a day of deep poverty. Nothing but the 13s., above referred to, came in yesterday, which was scarcely enough to meet yesterday's usual need. My mind, by the grace of God, was not at all cast down; but I felt it rather trying, that the abundance of my other engagements had not allowed me to meet with my fellow-labourers, either yesterday or today, for prayer. This evening I had a note from the Boys'-Orphan-House, to state that a lady had sent two dozen of boys' shirts, which she had made herself, with which she sent 5s. to get them washed. This 5s, enabled us to meet that which was absolutely needful. [I mention here, that while our usual current expenses are about 2l. 10s. daily for housekeeping in the three houses; yet we might, in case of need, do for one or two days with as little as yesterday and today, as there are generally potatoes and meat in the house, and a stock of bread for two days, in order that the children may eat stale bread.] Without this 5s. we should have been unable to procure all that was absolutely needed. This our kind Father knew, and therefore He sent it. There were also given two quarterns of bread by one of the bakers, which made up the usual quantity. Moreover five and a half sacks of potatoes were sent by the brother who sent the others, making in all 35 1/2 sacks.
Nov. 21. This morning one of the labourers gave 7s., in order that there might be means to take in milk. Between ten and eleven o'clock we met for prayer, and I found that 10s. had come in for a toy chest of drawers, which in this our great need had been sent for sale. Besides this 6d. had been taken out of the box in the Infant-Orphan-House. This 17s. 6d. enabled us to provide the dinner, and to take in a little bread in two houses, even as much as would be enough for breakfast tomorrow; but there was 4s. 6d. needed to buy bread for the Boys'-Orphan-House, as there was only enough for today. When we met again this afternoon, 3s. had come in, as one of the labourers had sold a few old books. Another labourer gave 1s. 6d., and thus we had also the 4s. 6d., which was needed for bread. After prayer, it was mentioned that a sister, a servant, who is out of a situation, had been this afternoon to see the Orphan-Houses, and had put something into the box at the Girls'-Orphan-House. The box was opened, and half-a-crown was found in it. This money was, in our deep poverty, as acceptable as 50l. at other times might have been. We rejoiced when we saw it, for it was a fresh proof to us, that, not in anger, but only for the trial of our faith, we are so poor. This 2s. 6d. provides us with the means to take in milk tomorrow morning, so that we shall have everything which is needed till after breakfast tomorrow, but then there is neither bread, nor meat, etc. remaining for dinner. Our comfort, however, is: "The morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Matt. vi. 34. We separated very happy in God, though very poor, and our faith much tried.
Nov. 22. Our poverty had now become very great. Greater it had never been. Yet, the Lord be praised! I was as comfortable as ever; for I was sure we were only for the trial of our faith in this state. Had the Lord shut up His hand iii anger, He would not have continued to give us, even during this week, from time to time, tokens of His care over us. I said this morning: "Man's necessity is God's opportunity" is a proverb of the world, and how much more may we, His children, now look to Him in our great need. I knew we must have help in some way, as now it had come to the greatest extremity, there being in none of the houses anything for dinner, except potatoes, of which we have an abundance. At ten this morning I was informed that a large box, bearing my address, had arrived at one of the Orphan-Houses. I set off immediately, and found it was from the neighbourhood of Wolverhampton. It contained 12l. for the Orphans, 1l. 11s. 10d. for the other Funds, 4 yards of flannel, 9 yards of calico, 12 yards of print, 4 1/2 yards of coloured cotton, 4 yards of stuff, 2 pairs of stockings, and 3 1/4 yards of brown holland. Besides this, there were in it the following articles for sale: 2 decanters and stands, 4 glass salt cellars, 3 scent bottles, a set of cruets and stand, 5 beer glasses, 7 chimney ornaments, 3 tortoise-shell combs, 3 fans, 2 silver vinaigrettes, 2 silver shoe-buckles, 2 waist buckles, 2 silver salt-cellars, 1 pair of knives and forks with silver handles, a small silver toasting fork, 9 silver coins, three gold rings, 4 pairs of ear-rings, 3 brooches, a cornelian heart, a silver seal, 1 pair of silver studs, 1 gold watch key, 1 silver pencil case, 5 pairs of bracelets, 5 necklaces and 1 urn rug. The joy which I and my fellowlabourers had when all these things lay before us, cannot be described; it must be experienced in order that it may be known. It was two hours and a half before the dinner time, when the help was granted. The Lord knew that the Orphans had no dinner, and, therefore, did He now send help.—This morning also a brother sent to the Girls' Orphan-House to ask whether the treacle-cask was empty, and if so, to send it by the messenger, that it might be filled.
Nov. 24. Today 5l. came in again with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, besides 1l. 10s. for the rents.
Nov. 27. Today again some money was needed for housekeeping. But as a little had come in yesterday and today, we had enough.
Nov. 28. Last evening 10s. came in, which was just enough to supply this day's need. We are now again penniless.
Nov. 29. A great part of the articles, which were sent this day week from the neighbourhood of Wolverhampton, have now been disposed of for 5l. 11s.; we are, therefore, supplied for today and tomorrow.
Dec. 2. Since the last money has been given out for housekeeping, only 1l. 12s. has come in but as 1l. 10s. of this had been given for the rents, I had only 2s. in hand, when brother B., the master at the Boys'-Orphan-House, came this morning, and told me that the need of today would be at least 2l. I gave him the 2s. which I had, and proposed that we should pray together for more means. WHILE WE WERE IN PRAYER, a brother called. After prayer brother B. left me, and the brother who had come gave me 5l. As soon as he had left, I went joyfully with the money to the Orphan-Houses, to prevent the bakers being sent away. This evening I received still further 2l. Thus the Lord has richly supplied our need for today and tomorrow.
Dec. 3. The Lord has remembered again our need for tomorrow. I received today from Liverpool 15s.; and from a brother in the neighbourhood of London, who had been staying here for a season, 5l.; also 1l. by the sale of some articles.
Dec. 4. It has been repeatedly our prayer during the last month and in the beginning of this, that the Lord would be pleased to give us again so much means, before the time of the public meetings, which are fixed for the 10th, 11th, and 12th, of this month, that, when we speak about His dealings with us during this year, we might also respecting the close of it have again to speak, to His praise, of the abundance which we had in hand. At the end of last year we made the same request, and the Lord granted it. Now today, as an answer to this our often repeated request, I received from the East Indies 100l., to be laid out for the Orphans, or the other objects of the Institution. Respecting this money it is to be noticed: 1. The great distance from whence it is sent. 2. That it comes just now, and thus enables us to speak at the meetings of this rich supply after our trials. 3. It furnishes us with means to order Bibles, as one half of the money will be taken for the other funds; there having been a great inquiry for Bibles lately, and we have not been able to meet the demand, for want of means. Respecting this point also we have prayed repeatedly, and now the Lord has answered our petition. How very precious it is to wait on the Lord! What an abundant proof have we in this donation, that all our late straits, as it regards means, were only allowed for the trial of our faith! This evening came in still further 1l. 5s.
Dec. 9. Since Dec. 4 several small donations have come in, so that unto the last day of this fourth year of the Orphan-work the Lord has continued His kindness to us.
On Dec. 10, 11, and 12 we had public meetings, at which the account of the Lord's dealings with us in reference to the Orphan-Houses and the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution was given. During the whole of the past year, as formerly, the labourers who are engaged in the work had kept their trials and their joys of faith to themselves; but now we considered the time to have come, when, for the benefit of the church at large, and to the glory of our Lord, we should make our boast in Him.—It is now (i. e. on Dec. 10, 1839) five years and nine months since the Scriptural Knowledge Institution has been in operation. In addition to what has been said about the Lord's dealings with us, more especially in regard to the funds, I make a few more remarks, with reference to His kindness to us, in other respects, during the last year. 1. During the last year also we have been enabled to continue to provide all the needful expenses connected with the six Day-Schools, three for boys and three for girls. The number of the children, who are at present in them, amounts to 286. The number of all the children that have had schooling in the Day Schools, through the medium of the Institution, since its formation, amounts to 1795. 2. There are at present 226 children in the Sunday School. 3. There are 14 taught to read in the Adult School, and there have been about 130 adults instructed in that School, since the formation of the Institution. 4. There have been circulated during the last year 514 copies of the Scriptures, and 5592 since March 5, 1834. 5. There has been laid out during the last year 91l. 6s. for Missionary purposes. 6. There have been received into the three Orphan-Houses from Dec. 9, 1838, to Dec. 9, 1839, 16 orphans. There are at present 96 orphans in the three houses. The number of all the orphans, who have been under our care from April 11, 1836, to Dec. 9, 1839, amounts to 126.
I notice further the following points in connexion with the
Orphan-Houses.
1. Without any one having been asked for any thing by us, the sum of 3,067l. 8s. 9 1/4d. has been given to us, entirely as the result of prayer to God, from the commencement of the work up to Dec. 9, 1839. 2. Besides this, there have also been sent many articles of clothing, furniture, and provisions, for the use of the Orphans. 3. Without our solicitation, three medical gentlemen (one for each house), have up to this time, kindly given their attendance and medicines gratuitously. 4. The hand of God is most manifest in that we have had so little sickness, considering that so many persons during this autumn have been suffering from fever, etc. Even in this particular I desire publicly to acknowledge the Lord's peculiar kindness to us. 5. Though most of the children have been brought up in a very different manner from what we could desire, yet the Lord has constrained them, on the whole, during this year also, to behave exceedingly well, so much so that it has continued to attract the attention of all observers. 6. That, however, which gives us the chief ground for thankfulness, so far as the children are concerned, is, that in eight of them we perceive decided proofs of a real change of heart and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, so that they have been received into church fellowship. We are not surprised that these children, who are from 9 years old and upwards, have been converted; for the conversion of the orphans under our care has been a frequent subject of prayer among us, and that of late more than ever; so that we fully expect, if the Lord shall continue to give prayer for them, that soon many more will be brought to believe in the Lord Jesus.
The total of the expenses, connected with the objects of the Institution, exclusive of the Orphan-Houses, from Nov. 19, 1838, to Nov. 19, 1839, is 542l. 13s. The balance in hand on Nov. 19, 1839, was 18s. 5d. The total of the expenses connected with the three Orphan-Houses, from Dec. 9, 1838, to Dec. 9, 1839, is 960l. 9s. 2 3/4d. The balance in hand on Dec 9, 1839, was 46l. 8s. ld.
Dec. 24. This morning we wanted again more money for the Orphans than there was in hand. It is only eight days since the last public meeting, when there was a balance of 46l. 8s. ld. in hand. On this account we disposed of some silver articles and books which had been sent within the last days for the benefit of the Orphans, by which means we have enough for today and tomorrow.
Dec. 31. My health is much better than for years. My mental powers also are as good as they have been at any time during the last three years. I ascribe this to God's blessing, through the instrumentality of early rising, and plunging my head into cold water when I rise.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1839.
I. As to the church—68 brethren and sisters brother Craik and I found in fellowship when we came to Bristol.
573 have been admitted to fellowship since we came to Bristol.
641 would be, therefore, the total number of those in fellowship with us, had there been no changes. But
40 have fallen asleep;
33 are under church discipline
55 saints have left Bristol;
38 have left us, but are still in Bristol;
166 are therefore to be deducted from 641, so that there are only 475 at present in fellowship with us.
During the last year have been added 115, of whom 34 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
II. As to my temporal supplies.
The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past year
1. By the Freewill Offerings through the boxes L137 4s. 5d.
2. By Presents in money, from saints residing in and out of Bristol L121 18s. 0d.
3. By Money through family connexion L42 0s. 0d.
4. By Presents in clothes, provisions, &c., which were worth to us at least L12 0s. 0d.
Altogether L313 2s. 5d.
January 1, 1840. Our usual meeting last night was most precious! We continued together from seven till half-past twelve. Of all the similar meetings which we have had, it was, according to my judgment, by far the best. Not more than five prayed; but there was much more real prayer than at former meetings.—This morning, about one hour after midnight, when our prayer meeting was over, I received a paper with some money sealed up in it for the Orphans. A few minutes afterwards I remembered that the individual who gave it was in debt, and I was aware she had been repeatedly asked by her creditors for payment; I resolved therefore, with out opening the paper, to return it, as no one has a right to give whilst in debt. This was done when I knew that there was not enough in hand to meet the expences of the day. About eight this morning a brother brought 5l., which he had received just then from his mother, for the Orphans. Observe, the brother is led to bring it at once! The Lord knew our need, and therefore this brother could not delay bringing the money. A few hours after I received 5l. more, and 8s. 5d., also 2s. 6d., so that we are now again supplied for three or four days.
Jan. 5. Besides the 10l. 10s. 11d, which came in on New-year's day, there came in on the 2nd and 4th 3l. 0s. 7d. But when now we were again without a penny, there came in 5s., and 6d., and 1s. Also 2l. with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, and 1l. 10s. for rent.
Jan. 7. Today, when there were again only a few shillings in hand, as since the 5th had come in only 3s., I gave myself to prayer, when, just after I had risen from my knees, a sister came and brought 1l., as a thank-offering to the Lord for the many mercies of the past year. There came in still further today, by ten different donations and the sale of two Reports, 2l. 17s.
Jan. 8. There were only a few shillings more in hand than was needed for housekeeping today. Nevertheless our kind Father remembered us before the day was over. A sister, a servant, gave me 15s.; also with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, came in 5l. 5s., from two sisters 6s, ld., and by sale of Reports 3s.
Jan. 22. I have repeatedly asked the Lord for means to be able to order more Bibles, as two sorts were again exhausted. There is moreover scarcely enough money in hand to pay the teachers next Saturday. This afternoon I received from a sister 14l. 2s. 7d., which she had had in the Savings' Bank. She considered that this money would be better used in the Lord's work, than left in the Savings' Bank. Thus I was enabled to order some Bibles.
From Jan. 8th to 22nd came in 34l. 9s. 5d. for the Orphans, and the donations were so seasonable, that always either something was given, or articles which had been given for sale could be disposed of, before the last money had been expended. But as there was today again only very little in hand, I was led to open the orphan-box in my house, in which I found two papers, the one containing 10s., the other a 5l. note. In both papers was written Eccles. ix. 10. There came in today still further above 5l. Thus our Lord has sent us what we are likely to need for three or four days to come.
Jan. 25. I have been much in prayer this week about going to Germany: 1, To see certain brethren who purpose to go as Missionaries to the East Indies; and 2, To see my father once more. I am led to go just now, instead of delaying it, because my health is again so failing, that it seems desirable I should leave Bristol at all events, and thus I could continue to serve in the work of the Lord, and yet attend to the benefit of my health at the same time. Lord, keep me from making a mistake in this matter!
Jan, 31, Since Jan. 22 several small donations came in for the Orphans, and several pounds by the sale of silver articles, trinkets, &c. But as I have had to pay out today 11l. 13s., we are now again very poor. For many days past we have been so helped, that money has always come in, before all was spent. Now there is only 1s. 5d. in hand. The Lord will provide! I feel quite comfortable, though in three days I shall have to leave the work for several week.—About three hours after I had written the above, came in 1l. 14s. l 1/2d. In the afternoon I received still further from Tottenham for the Orphans 10l., and in the evening from Hereford 30l., of which latter sum there was 6l. for the Orphans, and 24l. for the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. Thus the Lord will kindly allow me to leave a little money behind on my departure, and I have also a still further answer to my prayer for means to purchase Bibles, for which I have asked the Lord repeatedly, and which he began to answer by the donation which I received on the 22nd. I have received 5l. besides for the other objects.
Feb. 1. I have now felt quite sure for several days past, that I should leave Bristol for a season, and go to Germany. If the Lord permit, I shall leave the day after tomorrow.
Feb. 2. Today and yesterday has come in still further, before my departure, nearly 9l. for the Orphans. How kind of the Lord to send this money just now, on the eve of my leaving home!
Feb. 3. Today I left Bristol for Berlin.
On Feb. 5th I left London in the steamer for Hamburg. Though it had been so very stormy for several weeks past, the Lord gate us a very favourable passage; the first, as the captain said, which they had had for several weeks. We landed at Hamburg on the 7th at five in the afternoon. The porter who carried my things led me, as I afterwards found out, some by-way, either to save a long distance, or to get me into the city with my luggage, though it was after the custom-house hours. I did not understand this at first; but, when we were about to enter the city, he told me that that was not the proper way, but that if I would give to the custom-house officer, whom I should presently see at the entrance into the city, a small fee, he would let me pass. My reply was that I did not wish to do what was unlawful, nor should I give a fee to encourage what was unlawful, and that I would rather go a long way round, than get by such means into the city. Presently we arrived at the place at which the custom-house officer stood, who, on my telling him plainly that I had not the least wish to pass that way, if it were unlawful, saw that I was only a passenger, and that I had no wish to get into the city with goods which are not duty free, and therefore let me pass. This little circumstance proves afresh in how many little things the children of God may act differently from the world, to the glory of their Father, and how in going the Lord's way, we find it to be, even as far as this life is concerned, the easiest path.—About half an hour after, when I arrived at the hotel, a little circumstance served afresh to remind me, that the Christian, like the bee, might suck honey out of every flower. I saw upon a snuffer-stand in bas-relief, "A heart, a cross under it, and roses under both." The meaning was obviously this, that the heart which bears the cross for a time meets with roses afterwards. I applied it to myself, and this little event greatly cheered my heart in this place, where I was without the fellowship of a single believer.
I left Hamburg in the evening of Feb. 8th, travelled all night, all day, and the whole of the second night, and reached Berlin on the morning of the 10th. I confessed not the Lord Jesus on this long journey, which I record here to my shame; nor did I give any other testimony for Jesus in the steamer, than merely refraining from the light and trifling conversation of the party, and all this after I had had on my way from Bristol to London a fresh encouragement in conversing with a gay traveller addicted to drinking, who evidently listened with a measure of attention, and with a desire of having his chains broken.
From Feb. 10th to 20th I was in Berlin. I think it is likely that eight or nine brethren and sisters will go from hence to the East Indies.—After having been greatly helped by the Lord in my work, the first and special object of my journey to the Continent; mercifully kept by Him in the narrow path and in great peace, whilst surrounded with temptations on every side; and after having also seen afresh abundant reason to praise the Lord for all the way in which He had led me since I lived here in 1828 and 1829; I left Berlin on the evening of Feb. 20th for Magdeburg, which I reached on the morning of the 21st, and on the same evening I arrived at my father's house.—In all human probability I now see my dear father the last time. He is evidently much weaker than he was two years ago, and coughs much more. What has the Lord done for me since I lived in the house where I am now! The two rooms where I am now most in prayer, reading the Word, and confessing His name, were those very rooms in which I sinned most, whilst living here many years ago. I have had again opportunity, most fully to bring out the truth about the work of the Lord Jesus before my father, whilst conversing a long time with a woman in his hearing, to whom I showed from the Scriptures, that we are to be saved, not by our own works, but simply by faith in the Lord Jesus, who bore the punishment instead of us, and who fulfilled the law in our room.
Feb. 24 and 25. I am still at Heimersleben. My dear father is very weak.
Feb. 26. This morning I left Heimersleben. I took leave of my father most probably for the last time. It has been a great pleasure to me, and I consider it a great privilege, to have been permitted by the Lord once more to see my father, once more personally to show him filial love and regard, and once more to set the truth before him. He has been again during the whole of this my stay most affectionate to me, as he was during my two former visits to him since I left the Continent to reside in England. How cheerfully should I have left him this morning, did I know him to be safe in Jesus! But, alas! he as yet is not resting upon Christ, though he is so far religious as to read prayers and the Bible.—After I had left him I went to my faithful and beloved friend, brother Stahlschmidt, at Sandersleben, but found him absent from home.
Brother Kroll, the servant of brother Stahlschmidt, [whom I have mentioned in the first part of my Narrative,] received me with much affection. When this brother first came to Sandersleben in 1829, there was scarcely a single true Christian besides his master in the little town. Soon afterwards he began to hold meetings, which were attended by the two or three who loved the Lord Jesus. These meetings were for a long time suffered to go on quietly; but when the Lord blessed them, and others were stirred up to care about their souls, brother Kroll had to appear before the magistrates, and was forbidden to hold them. When this was of no effect, (as he considered that he ought only to obey earthly rulers in things in which he could do so with a good conscience,) and they continued still to meet together, the police came into one of their meetings, and forced them to discontinue it. When even this availed nothing, the brethren were finally threatened that every one who attended these meetings should pay three thalers, and every one who read or spoke at them should pay five, which is a large sum in Germany for poor people. But notwithstanding all these obstacles, the few poor saints continue their meetings, but in secret, to be unmolested by the police. They have now neither a stated place nor a fixed time for their meetings. On the second and third evenings, whilst I was at Sandersleben, I met with them. On the second evening we were in the room of a poor weaver. The dear brethren would have me sit on the only chair which was in the room. It was a very small room, perhaps twice as large as the loom, which was in it. There were about twenty-five or thirty persons present, many of whom had seated themselves in and under the loom, and the rest sat on two or three little forms. These meetings were very precious. The very fact of going to them with the feeling of having to pay the fine, or to suffer an adequate imprisonment, should one be found there, makes them to be doubly valued; and I believe that the Lord's double blessing rests upon them. I spoke long both times; indeed, as long as I had strength, and the dear people seemed to eat the Word.—I have so circumstantially related these facts, that thereby the children of God in Great Britain may be led more highly to value their religious privileges, and to make good use of them whilst they are continued.
It is worthy of remark, that while the meeting at Sandersleben were permitted to continue, there was no believing clergyman in the little town; but about the time that they were forbidden, the Lord sent a brother who truly preaches the gospel. I had for some hours refeshing and most affectionate brotherly intercourse with Him. May the Lord let His blessing rest upon him, and help him to be a faithful witness for God in that dark neighbourhood!
I had travelled so fast, and stayed so short a time in the places where I had been, that I was obliged to leave Heimersleben without having received the letter which I had expected from my wife there, a matter of no small trial (as those who have been for some time at a great distance from home, know it to be); especially in my case, as, on account of the Orphans and the other work, besides my family, it was of so much importance for me to hear from time to time. I had arranged with my father to have the letter sent to me to Sandersleben, by an express messenger, who could be obtained for a small remuneration. However, hour after hour passed away, on the 27th, and the messenger did not arrive. At last the time was gone by, as it was getting dark, and the person ought to have come at noon. I now lifted up my heart to the Lord, beseeching Him to give me grace to give up my own will in this thing. No sooner had I been brought into such a state, as to be TRULY content and satisfied with the will of the Lord in this matter, than the expected letter was handed over to me. The woman who brought it had lost her way in the morning, on account of a dense fog, which made her so late. I have frequently found, under similar circumstances, that after I had been brought into such a state as to be willing to give up my own will, whereby I was fitted to bear the blessing, the Lord gave me the desire of my heart, according to the truth of that word: "Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." Psalm xxxvii. 4.
Feb. 29. This morning I left Sandersleben. Towards the evening I reached Halberstadt, the town where I was from Easter 1816 to June 1821, at the Cathedral Classical School. I went to a certain small inn, known to me from the time that I lived at Halberstadt, both for the sake of quietness and to save expense, as I knew it to be more like a private boarding-house than an inn. After having had my supper, the innkeeper, who seemed to me a quiet and unassuming person, came into the room where I was, and began conversation with me. After a few moments I recognised in him a former schoolfellow of mine. The Lord now enabled me to tell him of my gay life, my conversion, my subsequent going to England, and of some of the Lord's dealings with me there. He listened with great attention, and was evidently affected by what I said. May the Lord bless to him my testimony for Jesus! I was thus afresh reminded of what grace has done for me. How kind of the Lord to direct me to that place!
March 1. This morning I saw an old friend of mine, a missionary to the Jews at Halberstadt. When first he went there he held meetings, which the few Christians of the town attended; but of late he has been obliged by the police to give them up. In that town of about 15,000 inhabitants, with, I think, seven large Protestant churches, there is not one converted clergyman, as this brother told me; and the few Christians that are there are not permitted to assemble themselves together. Brethren, you who live in Great Britain, be thankful for your religious liberty, and make use of it while the days of outward peace last!—About twelve this morning I left by the mail for Brunswick. The Lord enabled me to preach Christ to a young man, a painter, who, for the sake of improvement in his art, had travelled far and wide, and was now returning home from Vienna to his parents. He listened very attentively, in which I had a fresh proof that one never ought to look at natural appearances in proclaiming the truth; for I judged, before I began to speak to him, from his gay appearance, that he would quite laugh at what I might tell him about Jesus.—I saw again this afternoon, at Wolfenbuttel the inn from whence I ran away, when in debt, in the year 1821, and praised the Lord for His goodness to me since that time. Now, this evening, I am at Brunswick, and shall have again, through the Lord's kindness, rest during the night, as the mail does not leave for Hamburg until nine tomorrow morning.
March 8. London. I left Brunswick on the 2nd, and arrived at Hamburg in 24 hours. As there was ice in the Elbe, the London steamer could not get up to Hamburg, and I had therefore to go alone, in a hired carriage to Cuxhaven, about eighty miles, the most expensive journey that ever I made in my life, for it cost above 3l. 10s. Thus I had to travel three days and two nights, with the interruption of only five hours at Hamburg. I reached Cuxhaven at half-past eight in the evening on March 4th.—The fact of having thus to travel from Hamburg to Cuxhaven, that being the only way in which I could have got there in my circumstances, without losing the steamer, showed me afresh how one is step by step cast upon the Lord. A month since the Elbe was cleared of ice, and now, contrary to the expectation of all, the cold had returned to such a degree, that it was a second time innavigable.
March 3. I embarked this morning for London. I had conversation with two Russian Jews, who listened with great interest to all I said to them; but I did not tell them plainly that I believed Jesus of Nazareth to be the Messiah, as I fully purposed to do at the next conversation. After I had left them, they conversed with each other, and I could see from their countenances, that they either took me for a baptized Jew, or for a missionary to the Jews, on account of the peculiar way in which I had conversed with them. Presently one of them came and asked me what I thought of that Jesus. No sooner had I owned Him as the true Messiah and as my Lord and my God, than he began to blaspheme; and from that time, as long as we were on board, they shunned me; and I also felt that all I had to do was to show kindness to them by actions, but no more to converse with them about the Messiah, in order to keep them from blaspheming that holy name which is dear to my heart. My conversation with them had, however, an unexpected effect in another way. At the dinner table I was asked by one of the passengers about those Jews, who they were, etc., as my long conversation with them on the deck had been noticed. This led me, (in order that the conversation might be turned to profitable subjects, and that I might discover whether there was a Christian at the table), to throw out the remark, "how remarkable it is that the Jews, in all parts of the world, can be recognised as such; and are not mixed with other nations," etc. Immediately the captain replied, "this can only be explained by the Scriptures, and shows the Bible to be true," or something to that effect. I now, in agreeing with the captain, followed up the subject, and both after dinner and repeatedly during the passage had long and most interesting conversations with the captain, whom I found to be a true brother in the Lord, and from whom I separated most affectionately on our arrival in London.
On March 7th I landed in London, where I found two letters from my dear wife, from which I saw that up to the last the Lord had been dealing with her, as well as with me, in the greatest kindness, and had given also an abundance for the Orphans during the whole time of my absence.
March 9. I left London this morning, arrived this evening in peace in Bristol, and found my dearest Mary and all in peace. Truly, the Lord has abundantly blessed me and them while I have been from home!
During the whole time of my absence the Lord not only supplied all the need of the Orphans, but on my return I found more in hand than there was when I left. The donations, which came in during my absence, amount to between 80l. and 90l.
March 11. Today I received 19l. 19s., being a legacy left to me by a brother who fell asleep the beginning of last December. How richly does the Lord supply all my own temporal necessities!
March 22. Today, when there was not a penny in hand for the Orphans,
I received the following donations: 3l. as the produce of the sale of
ladies' baskets, an old crown piece, an old half-crown piece, and a
Spanish dollar. Also 1s. With Eccles. ix. 10, was given 2l. 10s.
March 23. Today came in still further 1l. 2s. 6d.
March 25. All money was now again given out, when today came in by the sale of Reports 8s. 9d., and in small donations 1l. 5s. 11d.
March 26. On the 17th of this month 1 received the following letter, from a brother who several times had been used by the Lord as an instrument in supplying our need, and who also two months since sent 30l.
"I have received a little money from ——. Have you any present need for the Institution under your care? I know you do not ask, except indeed of Him whose work you are doing; but to answer when asked seems another thing, and a right thing. I have a reason for desiring to know the present state of your means towards the objects you are labouring to serve: viz, should you not have need, other departments of the Lord's work or other people of the Lord may have need. Kindly then inform me, and to what amount, i. e. what amount you at this present time need, or can profitably lay out."
At the time when this letter came, we were indeed in need, or at least it was desirable, as far as I had light, to have means, as I was just on the point of establishing an Infant-School, and as again some sorts of Bibles were needed in order to go on with the circulation of the Scriptures. Also in the Orphan-Fund there was only 2s. 3 1/2d. Nevertheless I considered that, as I have hitherto acted, (i. e. telling the Lord alone about our need), I ought to continue to do, as otherwise the principal object of the work, to be a help to the saints generally, by seeking to lead them to increased dependence upon God alone, through this Institution, would be frustrated. I answered therefore the letter, in substance, as follows:
"Whilst I thank you for your love, and whilst I agree with you, that, in general, there is a difference between asking for money, and answering when asked, nevertheless in our case I feel not at liberty to speak about the state of our funds, as the primary object of the work in my hands is, to lead those who are weak in faith to see that there is reality in dealing with God alone."
After having sent off the answer, I was again and again led to pray to the Lord in this way: "Lord, thou knowest that for Thy sake I did not tell this brother about our need. Now, Lord, show afresh that there is reality in speaking to Thee only about our need, and speak therefore to this brother, so that he may help us."
Today, in answer to this my request, this brother sent 100l., of which sum I shall take 20l. for the Orphans, and 20l.. for each of the other objects. Thus I have means for establishing the Infant-School, and for ordering more Bibles. Also the Orphans are again supplied for a week; for when the money came in there was not one penny in hand for them.
April 7. This evening I received information from my little half brother that my dear father died on March 30th. He was taken worse a few days after I left him. How kind of the Lord to have allowed me once more to see him! Had I gone to Germany at the time I first intended, he would most likely not have been alive to see me.—As I know not of one believer in the whole town where he lived, I cannot for a certainty ascertain any thing about his state before his death; but that which I do know gives me no proof of his having died in the faith of Christ. As to myself, I am sure of this, that it becomes me to adore that wonderful grace which plucked me as a brand out of the burning, and to say in reference to my dear departed father: "Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?" and in submission to the will of God to be satisfied with His dealings. This, through grace, I am able to do. Every true believer who has unconverted parents, for whose spiritual welfare he is concerned, can understand what joy it would have been to me to have heard a satisfactory account of a true change of heart in my dear father before his end; but as it has been otherwise, I know nevertheless that God will be eternally glorified even in this dispensation. During no period did I pray more frequently or more earnestly for the conversion of my dear aged parent, than during the last year of his life; but, at all events, it did not please the Lord to let me see the answer to my prayers.
April 9. Through the 20l. which came in on March 26, and a number of smaller and larger donations since then, we have had for the last twelve days more than usual. But now today our means were again reduced to 7s. 10d., when the Lord sent in 5l. through a brother in Bristol, who during this year also, as at former times, has been the instrument in the hands of God of repeatedly supplying our need when we were very poor.
We are on the point of sending some money to the East Indies for Missionary objects. Whilst I was on my knees respecting this object, 5l. was brought for it.
April 10. Today came in still further for the Orphans, with Eccles. ix. 10, 5l.; also 2l.
April 19. For several months past it had appeared to brother Craik and me, and to several other brethren who help us in the work of caring for the saints, that a part of the church meeting together at Gideon Chapel was a hinderance to our giving that clear and distinct testimony respecting the principles on which we meet, which we desire to give to the world and to the church at large in this city. As the Lord, however, had so abundantly blessed our labours in that place, in the conversion of sinners, and also in the building up of many saints, we felt that we ought to act in this matter with the greatest prayerfulness and consideration; and we had therefore many meetings for prayer and deliberation with several brethren. On this account it was likewise, that though we came as early as the 17th of January to the conclusion that it would be better to relinquish Gideon as a meeting place, we still deferred the matter for two months and a half longer, before we even mentioned our difficulties publicly. At last, on March 30th, we assembled with all the saints, and brother Craik and I stated to them our difficulties. The following is the substance of what was stated at the meeting.
Brief statement of certain difficulties connected with our continuing to retain the occupancy of Gideon Chapel, Newfoundland Street, Bristol.
In order to enter into the force of the following particulars, it is necessary to keep in mind the position which, as a body of saints, we seem called upon to maintain, in this city, before the church and the world. We meet simply as believers in Christ, without reference to any sectarian distinction, maintaining the Scriptures as our only rule of doctrine and discipline, and affording freedom for the exercise of any spiritual gift which the Lord may be pleased to bestow. We thus hold out a gathering place for all who believe in the Lord Jesus, and desire to confess His name, by obedience to His authority. Whatever impedes us, in this our great work, can only be suffered to continue, if the Lord Himself lays it upon us as a burden or chastisement. Nothing but necessity can justify our putting any obstacles in the way of the saints in this city, who, feeling the obligation of separating from every sectarian bond of union, would desire to meet with us.
I.
1. There seems no sufficient reason for holding our Lord's day morning meetings, for the breaking of bread, in two different places. See 1 Cor. xi. 20. The number is not too large to assemble in one place, and the extent of locality is not so great as to prevent it, except in the ease of invalids or of very aged persons: and the disadvantages of two meeting places are very serious. In this way of meeting the gifts are needlessly divided, as the gifted brethren are in two places instead of one; discipline is rendered very difficult to be executed, as it can scarcely be ascertained who absent themselves, etc.; and impediments are thrown in the way of mutual intercourse and acquaintance, as the saints sometimes go to the one place, and sometimes to the other.
2. There are only four ways in which we can so arrange as to assemble every Lord's day morning, as a church, together. a, Bethesda may be given up, and the meeting of the saints maybe at Gideon. b, The meetings maybe alternately at each place. c, The meetings may be held at a third place intermediate, in respect of locality, between the two. d, Gideon may be given up, and Bethesda alone become the place of meeting for breaking of bread.
—In regard to the first two of these four arrangements, the size of Gideon puts a complete obstacle in the way, as there would not be sufficient room, were the saints and others, who would still attend, to meet together in that place. The third plan appears to be freest from all objections, could it be accomplished; but there is no one other place to be obtained sufficiently large for our purpose, and therefore, if it be granted that the profit of the saints and the glory of Christ seem to require our having one gathering place, till the number of the saints and the extent of locality on which they reside shall force us to have more than one: the only way in which, for the present, this can be accomplished is by our relinquishing Gideon, and having Bethesda as our only place of meeting.6
II.
But the above are not the only reasons why we should no longer continue to retain Gideon as a meeting place for the church.—We have reason to believe that several of our dear brethren, who have been in the habit of assembling there for worship, do not see with us in reference to the great leading principles on which we professedly meet. Ever since the removal of any restraint upon the exercise of whatever gift the Spirit may bestow, in connexion with the practice of weekly communion at Gideon, there has been dissatisfaction on the part of some. A few have left and gone to other places, some have been in the habit of remaining only as long as there is teaching or exhortation, and then leaving without breaking bread. We have reason to believe that several do not, in heart, acknowledge us as taught of God in regard to the changes, which we have introduced; or, if they feel unwilling to say so, yet they are inclined to retain their old way. Now, spiritual rule can only be continued over those who yield willing subjection: an unwilling submission on the part of those who are in the place "of the ruled," we deem no true subjection at all. Therefore, those who do not believe that matters are conducted amongst us in a Scriptural way, cannot comfortably continue in fellowship with us: and by yielding up to them the use of the Chapel, we take away all just cause of complaint.—On account of these reasons there would be no need of leaving a meeting place under other circumstances; but as, when brother Craik and I came to Gideon Chapel, we found saints there assembled together in fellowship who had contributed towards the purchasing and fitting up of the Chapel, and who had been in the habit of meeting together on different principles, it seems not Christlike either to force our light upon them, or to constrain them to leave us; but to give up the Chapel to them, as they do not, in heart, go along with us. It cannot be expected that, for the sake of pleasing even those whom we love in Christ, we should shrink back from carrying out any truth which the Lord may lead us into; and, therefore, if our brethren cannot heartily go along with us, it is better that nothing should be imposed upon them contrary to their convictions. If it should be said that for the sake of a few we thus separate from many: our reply is, that we separate from none of the saints; we only withdraw from a building, because it appears to us a hinderance to the manifesting of the truth, and, at the same time hold out a gathering place for all who feel that it would be for the edification of their souls, and the glory of God, that they should continue to meet with us. We invite all those who conscientiously can submit to the order which obtains amongst us, to continue in fellowship with us; and we purpose to provide a place of meeting to suit the convenience of the feeble and aged who would feel the distance of Bethesda to be an obstacle to their meeting habitually with the saints there.
III.
But in addition to those already mentioned, there is a third class of difficulties connected with retaining Gideon. The present character of the meeting for the breaking of bread there, is very far from fully exhibiting the principles on which we meet together. Unbelievers sitting among the saints, hinders our appearing to meet for the breaking of bread, and renders it necessary that a disturbing pause should intervene between the act of breaking bread and the other part of the meeting. We cannot have the breaking of bread at the commencement of the meeting, because of the confusion occasioned by the intermixture of those who are not in fellowship with us. To alter this, and to request all who are not in fellowship with us (except those belonging to the families of the saints) to sit by themselves, as is the case at Bethesda, would, we fear, produce increased dissatisfaction. Such a request moreover would not be Christlike, as long as from the construction of the building no comfortable sittings were reserved for any besides the saints themselves. Thus, by retaining Gideon, we are under the necessity of either marring our testimony to the church at large, or of deepening the dissatisfaction prevalent among several who are already in fellowship with us.—Again, the very construction of the place renders it unsuitable for a meeting of saints. Part of the sittings being pews, necessarily tends to give the appearance of a distinction between the very poor and the more respectable class. This distinction would need to be done away, and we have every reason to fear that some might feel personally aggrieved by the pews being taken away and replaced with benches. We have only of late understood that some of the pews are looked upon as private property. This is such a violation of the statement that the sittings are all free, that it could no longer be permitted. To require these unscriptural practices to be renounced, we have reason to apprehend, would be considered as an arbitrary act of rule, and might alienate the minds of those of our dear brethren who are still, in heart, attached to that to which they hare been accustomed in former years.
If it can be shown that the above difficulties are capable of being removed, or that any greater evil would attend the yielding up of Gideon than the evils which necessarily accompany our retaining it, then we are bound not to give it up. But, according to our present light, we see no way of reconciling the two objects, viz.: the retaining of Gideon, and the exhibiting a full, unhindered testimony to the truth of God. We repeat it, that we do not separate from any single individual in fellowship with us, we only leave the walls of a building, and invite those who feel called upon to separate from every sectarian system, and to meet where free exercise is afforded for every spiritual gift, to assemble with us at Bethesda.
In the case of those who are in ordinary health, the inconvenience attending the locality of Bethesda is a matter of very little consequence. Half an hour's earlier rising on the morning of the Lord's day, would be sufficient, in most cases, fully to meet the difficulty; and the consciousness, that the glory of Jesus and the true welfare of His church were thereby promoted, would far more than compensate for the amount of self-denial which the inconvenience arising from the distance would impose.—In reference to the weak, the sickly, and the very aged, who reside in the neigbourhood of Gideon, we trust, in the strength of the Lord, to make such ample provision for their comfort on the Lord's day, that they may have no reason to regret that Gideon has been relinquished. Lastly, as it regards the opportunities which will be lost, by giving up Gideon, of proclaiming the truth among believers, as well as preaching the gospel to the world, we intend, according to our ability and the measure of gift amongst us, to open places for those purposes in different parts of the city.
After we had fully stated our minds respecting our difficulties in continuing to meet, as a church, at Gideon Chapel, we were still quite willing to continue to occupy it as a preaching place, provided the brethren whose property the Chapel was (because of their having contributed towards the purchase and fitting up of the building,) were perfectly satisfied with our doing so. If this had been the case, all the difference would have been, that on Lord's day mornings Gideon Chapel would have been shut, and all the church would have met at Bethesda; but we should have been willing not only to preach in Gideon on the Lord's day evenings, and once or twice in the week, but also on the Lord's day afternoons instead of the morning meeting: so that even the unconverted, or the believers of that neighbourhood, who are not in communion with us, should have been no losers.—Whilst nothing was stated by any one, that showed us we had been mistaken in the conclusion to which we had come, a point was mentioned which soon brought the matter to a final decision. It was said that the giving up of one of the principal meetings on the Lord's day would be against the spirit of the trust deeds, as the Chapel was particularly intended to be a preaching place. Now, though we did not see it to be thus, as we meant to preach the Word, as before, at Gideon, if it could be done in perfect harmony with the owners of it; yet it seemed beyond a question that we could not retain the Chapel, whilst we appeared, even in the least to alienate the property from the use for which it was said to have been intended. We, therefore, were confirmed by this in our conclusion to give up the Chapel at once, and that entirely. [In order that the aged and infirm, and invalids who live in the neighbourhood of Gideon, might not be losers by the change, cars were provided, at the expense of the church, to convey them to the meeting for the breaking of bread at Bethesda; and a Chapel was rented in Callow-hill Street, near Gideon, in which, on the Lord's day and Thursday evenings the Word was ministered, It was very kind of the Lord to order it so that this chapel was at once to be had! Two years and a half afterwards, in October, 1842, we rented a still more suitable Chapel, in the heart of the City. On April 19th, 1840, we preached for the last time at Gideon, after having laboured there, with abundant blessing, for about eight years. Only three saints, as far as I know, out of about 250, who used to meet with us at Gideon, remained there. Nor has the Lord ceased to bless our labours since we left.]
April 27. Monday. The Lord knew that we were penniless, and should be in need of fresh supplies today for the Orphans, therefore He moved the hearts of some of His children to remember us, in answer to our prayer. Yesterday I received with Eccles. ix. 10, 5l., and 10s. from a sister who had lent this sum to some one, but never expected it again; and now, having unexpectedly received it, gave it to the Lord for the Orphans. 1l. 10s. was given for the rent of the Orphan-Houses. There was 2s. 6d. put anonymously into the box at Bethesda, and also 1l. This morning I was informed that 5l. had been sent to the Infant-Orphan-House. Thus the Lord has given for our need 13l. 2s. 6d.
Let us pause here a few moments, beloved reader! Let us adore the Lord's kindness! See how seasonably the Lord sends the help. As our need is, so He remembers us. It is not now and then that He is mindful of us, but continually. As surely as we stand in need of any thing, He sends it; be it money, provisions, clothes, or any thing else. We may be allowed to be poor, yea, very poor; we may have to pray again and again to our Father before the answer comes; we may be reduced so as to have from mal to meal to wait upon Him; yea, according to all outward appearance, the Lord may seem to have forgotten us:—but, amidst it all, as surely as we really need any thing, in His own time and way does He send help. Perhaps you may say; "But how would you do, in case there were a mealtime to come and you had no provisions for the children, or they really wanted clothes, and you had no money to procure them?" Our answer is, such a thing is impossible as long as the Lord shall give us grace to trust in Him, (for "whosoever believeth on Him shall not be ashamed,") and as long as He shall enable us to carry on the work in uprightness of heart. But should we be ever so left to ourselves as to forsake the Lord and trust in an arm of flesh, or should we regard iniquity in our heart i. e. wilfully and habitually do any thing, either in connexion with the work or otherwise, which is against the will of God, then we may pray and utter many words before Him, but He will not hear us, as it is written: "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me." Psalm lxvi. 18. I, therefore, beseech all who love our Lord Jesus and who may read this, to entreat Him on behalf of all of us who are engaged in this work, that He would be pleased to continue to give us faith, and that He would keep us from living in sin.
May 2. Nothing having come in for five days, we were today again penniless. In answer to prayer 5s. 6d. came in, and some trinkets were sent, the names of which the donor does not wish to be known. Thus we were helped through this day.—Observe here, how the Lord allowed five days to pass away without influencing the hearts of any to send us supplies; but the moment there is real need, the stream runs again.
May 3. Today the Lord sent in again some money for the Orphans. He knew we were penniless, and therefore answered our requests. Besides 1l. 10s. for rent, there came in 1l. 1s. from London, and 2l. from the Isle of Wight.
May 4. By what came in yesterday, we were supplied for today; but the Lord sent today still more, as that which came in yesterday was only enough for today. There was given in money 7l., of which 3l. was the profit of the sale of ladies' baskets, which are made by some sisters in the Lord for the benefit of the Orphans.
Last evening a brother was baptized, who on the first Lord's day of this year came with his intended wife to Bethesda Chapel. Both were in an unconverted state. They both were at the same meeting, through what brother Craik said, made to feel the power of the truth, and, in consequence, were led to Jesus and found peace in Him, and are now both in communion with us.—The Lord still condescends to use us as instruments. Today we conversed with seven persons about fellowship, and had to send away five, being worn out after we had seen the seven, one after the other. Only since April 1st, forty-one persons have come to us to speak about their souls. May the Lord in mercy give us helpers in the work, for truly the harvest is great; and may not our ingratitude for His abundant blessing upon our labours oblige Him to shut up His hands from continuing to use us!
May 6th. This evening I received 10l. for the Orphans, and 10l. for the Infant-School, which we are on the point of opening. Before our little stock is quite exhausted, (for there is yet 2l. left for the Orphans) the Lord has thus kindly sent a fresh supply. Thus also my prayer is answered in being able to give to two of the sisters in the Orphan-Houses some money for their personal expenses.
May 8. There are four believers staying at my house, and today we had only a few shillings of our own money left. I gave myself, therefore, to prayer for means for our own personal expenses. In answer to my request, I received this morning 5l.
May 10. Today five of the Orphans were received into fellowship and baptized. There are now fourteen of them in fellowship.
May 16. The need of today, as we were again penniless, led us to open the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, in which 2l. 0s. 2d. was found. There was given 5s. besides. In the evening came in still further a sovereign from a sister, a servant, with the following lines: The Lord has put it into my heart to send a sovereign to the Orphans. He indeed put it into my heart, which was once at enmity with God and would have said, lay it by, you may want it when you are old; but then I could not look towards heaven and say, I know my Heavenly Father will supply all my need; neither could I say, 'Abba, Father,' for I knew Him not."
May 17. Today the Lord has sent a little more, so that we have enough to meet the demands of tomorrow. There came in altogether 3l. 9s. 6d.
May 22. Several small donations enabled us to supply the necessities of the last four days. When this day commenced, however, there was again not a penny in hand. But my eyes were directed to the Lord, and therefore my heart was at peace; I was fully assured that He would help this day also. About eleven I was informed that there was 19s. 3d. in hand, being the produce of the boys' knitting, and that also some old clothes, given for sale, had been sold for 3s. 6d., and one Report besides for 3d. To this one of the labourers added 4s. of his own, and gave a book besides for sale. Thus we had 1l. 7s., which was enough to meet the demands of this day.
May 26. By the sale of 166 little books which had been given to be disposed of, by a few shillings which came in for the children's needlework, by 4s. which had been taken out of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, by a little money given by one of the labourers, by 10s. which came anonymously in a letter, and by the sale of some Reports—we were able to meet the demands since the 22nd. Today there was 1l. 2s. 8d. left in hand, but this was not quite enough for the need of the day. In the afternoon came in for needlework 11s. 6d., and there was 5s. left at the Infant-Orphan House. Thus we had enough, and a few shillings left for tomorrow.
May 26. Nothing had come in. My engagements kept me from going to the Orphan-Houses till seven in the evening, when the labourers met together for prayer. When we met I found that one of them had given l7s., which had been divided between the three houses. This, with the little which had been left yesterday, had procured all necessary articles. We are now very poor.
May 27. We met for prayer, at eleven this morning. No money had come in, but there was enough for dinner in all the houses. This morning the LAST COALS were used in the Infant-Orphan-House, and in the Boys'-Orphan-House there were ONLY ENOUGH FOR TODAY, and there was no money in hand to buy more. In this our need T.P.C. sent a load of coals. How kind of the Lord! A plain proof that not in displeasure, but only for the trial of our faith we are allowed to be so poor. We purpose to meet again at four this afternoon. May the Lord graciously be pleased to send help in the mean time!
Evening. The Lord has had mercy! A person bought some days since several articles, which had been given to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans, and owed 6l. 15s. This morning I asked the Lord to incline his heart to bring the money, or a part of it, as we were in such need. Just as I was going to meet for prayer with my fellow-labourers this afternoon, he came and brought 4l. But our kind Father showed us still further today, that only for the trial of our faith He had for a season withheld supplies; for there was given this evening with Eccles. ix. 10, 5l. There came in also 9s. for articles which had been put into the hand of a sister, who has taken on her the service of disposing of articles which are given for sale. Besides this, there were sent two boxes of new clothes, and some materials for clothes, from sisters in the Lord, residing in Dublin, which articles are worth several pounds. Thus the day, which had begun with prayer, ended in praise. But there is one thing more to be recorded respecting this day, as precious or more so than what has been said: I was today informed that the Lord has begun to stir up several of the boys to care about their souls.
May 28. The Lord has kindly sent in further supplies. A clergyman gave 2l.; and 5s. came in for Reports.
May 29. Today has come in still further 1l. 3s. 2d., and several trinkets which were sent from Barnstaple.
May 30. I took 1l. out of the box in my house.
May 31. When there was again not a penny in hand, the Lord sent in 2l. 2s.
June 6. This is Saturday. Several pounds were needed, as usual, for the Orphans; but there was not a penny in hand. In this our great need F. W., who often has been instrumental in supplying our need, and who lives many miles from Bristol, sent 5l. There came in 5s. besides. Thus we are helped to the close of one more week, in which our faith has been repeatedly tried. In the evening came in further, by sale of articles, 2l., and a donation of 10s.
June 7. Lord's day. Today came in 7l. 1s. 3d., to enable us to meet the necessities of tomorrow.
June 8. This evening eight German Missionary brethren and sisters, whom I have been for some time expecting, arrived in Bristol, on their way to the East Indies.
June 9. Again, when only 2s. 3d. was in hand for the Orphans, there came in from a considerable distance 2l.
June 10 and 11. These two days came in 1l. 0s. 4d., which was enough, with the little which had been left, to procure what was needed.
June 12. When there was nothing in hand, several articles of gentlemen's clothing, all worn, were sent for sale, which, being disposed of for 1l. 17s., we were helped through this day.
June 13. Today's need was met by a box of clothes coming from Worcester, which contained also 3l. 0s. 2d. There was also 11s. taken out of the box in my house.
June 15. 2l. 5s. 3d. came in yesterday and today, by which we were able to meet the necessary demands, and have 5s. left.
June 16. Some articles were sold for 11s., which had been given for sale. This, with the remaining 5s., met the necessities of the day.
June 17. Only 4s. has come in by children's needlework. This is all we have, to meet the need of today, except 2s. 6d., which I found in the box in my house, which our poverty led me to open. Evening. The Lord has had mercy upon us. A sister, to whom some time since some money was left, and whom the Lord has made willing to lay it all out in His service, having received a small part of what is coming to her, brought 5l. 10s. 6d. of it, this afternoon, for the Orphans. There came in still further this evening 2l.
For several days past I had been very poor in reference to my own temporal necessities, as well as in reference to the Orphans. Today we were especially poor, in both respects; but our kind Father remembered not merely the need of the dear Orphans, but gave me also some money for my own personal expenses. The same sister just referred to, who brought 5l. 10s. 6d. for the Orphans, brought me also 7l. for myself.
June 18. Today a new coat and waistcoat were given to me, for which I had repeatedly asked the Lord, as my clothes are now very old. As surely as I really need any thing, be it in money, or in any other way, my kind Father supplies the need.
June 19. The Lord has poured in still more abundantly today. A brother gave me 10l. for myself. Thus, after a season of more than usual poverty, the Lord sends a more than usual supply. How kind a Master do I serve!
June 21. Again, when there was not one penny in hand, came in today 6l. 10s. for the Orphans.
June 22. Tomorrow, the Lord willing, I purpose, with my wife, to accompany the three German brethren and the five German sisters to Liverpool who purpose to sail from thence. Under these circumstances it is desirable to leave at least a little money behind. This desire of my heart the Lord has granted; for this morning D. C. gave me 5l., and there came in by sale of articles 10s. 5d. In the evening a sister, who has left Bristol today, sent me by her mother 5l., having particularly requested her to let me have the money today, as she knew that I was going away tomorrow.
This evening we had an especial Missionary prayer meeting, at which the brethren and sisters were commended to the Lord.
June 23. This morning we left for Liverpool, where we safely arrived in the evening.
The following extracts give the account of the Lord's goodness in supplying the necessities of the Orphans, while I was away from Bristol.
On June 25, whilst at Liverpool, I received a letter from brother R. B., master at the Boys'-Orphan-House, dated Bristol, June 24th, in which he writes thus:—The money which you left behind, with 1s. 6d. which came in for Reports, supplied the necessities of yesterday and today; but there is nothing in hand to meet the necessities of tomorrow. Our hope is in God, assuredly believing that He will, as in former times, help us in His own time and manner."—
Two days afterwards the following letter came.
"Bristol, June 26, 1840.
"Dear Brother,—Since I wrote to you we have very sweetly proved the mercy and truth of our heavenly Father, When my letter left Bristol, we had not one penny in hand. On the same evening sister gave me a parcel containing 1l. 1s., the produce of the sale of an article. This was sufficient for yesterday. But after this we were again penniless. I went to the meeting in the evening, where brother J. B. gave me a list of names of persons who had given to him for the Orphans, to the amount of 1l. 4s. 1d. I afterwards sold one of your books, one of brother Craik's Renderings, and a Report. I also remembered that a few days before 2s. 6d. had been given to me which I had forgotten to use. We therefore had in all 1l. 11s. 7d., which is sufficient to meet this day's necessities. I have just received a sovereign for the Orphans, and besides this a box, containing various articles of clothes which has been sent from Wales, part of which articles are only fit for sale. Thus we have something for tomorrow, if needed.
"Your affectionate brother,
''R. B,''
The arrival of the box of clothes, etc., was announced to me in an affectionate letter from a brother in Wales, who sent them, but whom I do not know personally. What follows will show how seasonably the donation came. On June 30th I received another letter from brother B., dated Bristol, June 29th, 1840, in which he writes "I should have posted my letter by one o'clock, but delayed until it was too late, hoping that I might have to speak of the Lord's goodness as well as of our poverty. Thank God, my hopes have been realized!—-Besides the 1l. mentioned in my last letter, in the evening of the 26th 11s. 3d. came in for needlework, and 5s. was given. On Saturday I sold some of the clothes which had been sent from Wales for 1l., and 5s. was given to me for an article which had been sold some time ago. As this was scarcely sufficient, I opened the boxes, and found 3s. 2d. in them. The whole, therefore, which was in hand, amounted to 3l. 4s. 5d., which was enough for Saturday the 27th. This morning, Monday, as nothing had been given to me since Saturday, there were no means to provide for the dinner in the Boys'-Orphan-House; but one of the sisters, having a little money of her own, purchased potatoes and meat with it. At eleven o'clock we met for prayer. The baker came to the Infant-Orphan-House, but no bread was taken. A brother left two quarterns of bread at the Boys'-Orphan-House, as a gift. Soon after I received 1l. through sister L. G., which, as soon as I received, I began to write to you. It was a comfort to me, in our poverty, that you still, united in spirit, prayed with us, although distance separated us in body. I do not know that I ever felt more powerfully the kindness of our Heavenly Father, than when I received this last mentioned 1l. Although we are still poor, and soon shall be again in need, yet, receiving it just at this time, it was very refreshing."
The next day I received the following report about the Orphan-Houses from brother B., dated June 30th.—" According to your request, tomorrow only is the time for me to write, but as the Lord has dealt very bountifully with us, I write today, in order that you may be refreshed by the account thereof. Yesterday afternoon, I received 16s., and this morning I sold some more of the articles sent from Wales, for 8s. 6d., which meets this day's demands."
On July 2nd I accompanied the eight German brethren and sisters to the vessel. Just before they went on board, brother ——, one of the missionary brethren, gave me 6l. 10s. for the Orphans. He had sold his plate while at Bristol, considering that as a servant of Jesus Christ, and as one who desired to preach Jesus to the poor Hindoos, he needed it not, This money was the produce of it, except about 2l., which he had spent in purchasing a few books. In giving it to me said, "The money which we have in the common stock, (being altogether 20l. for the eight) is enough for us. For some months, while we are on board, we need no money at all, whilst you may lay it out; and when we need more, the Lord will again supply our need. The other brethren and sisters have no money of their own, and I desire likewise to have none, The Lord has laid the Orphans particularly on my heart, and therefore you must not refuse to accept it."—This brother little knew how on that very day I had been repeatedly asking the Lord for means. Truly this was one of the most remarkable ways of obtaining money, as it came from a poor German missionary, who, in dependence upon the Lord for his temporal supplies, went to the East Indies. I sent off at once 5l. of this money to Bristol. The next day, July 3, I received at Liverpool the following letter from brother B., dated Bristol, July 2nd.—" Since I last wrote, we have still found that the Lord is faithful to His word. May we never be unfaithful towards Him! On Tuesday evening, June 30th, sister C. brought 11s. 6d. for some articles she sold, and I had received 1s. 6d. for Reports. This, with 8s. that had been put into the boxes, met the absolute necessities of yesterday, Wednesday. As nothing has been given since Tuesday, we are, today, Thursday, very needy. I sold the books I mentioned as being sent, with some others which one of the sisters in the Orphan-Houses gave of her own, for 7s., which bought that which was needful for dinner; but there is no money to take in bread nor milk for one of the houses. We met for prayer. Our hope is in God, trusting that He who has so often helped us in poverty, will still do so. If I write any more I shall be too late to post this letter."
[On my return to Bristol I found, which is not mentioned in the next letter, that the milk was purchased with the money of one of the sisters in the Orphan-Houses.]
On July 4th I received the following letter from Bristol, dated July 3rd.
"My dear Brother,—The last account I sent you left us in the greatest poverty. We had sufficient, it is true, for the time then present; but there was no money to take in bread with. In the afternoon there was an old riding habit sent for the Orphans, which I sold this morning for 7s. I also sold a few books for 5s., two old silver thimbles and a ring for 1s. 6d.; besides this, 1s. 6d. was sent for Reports; making in all 15s. This purchased dinner for the three houses. At twelve o'clock we met for prayer. We were indeed in great need. There was no money either for bread or milk. The coals in all the three houses were used, and in every other respect the stores were in a low state. We had really wanted nothing, but there was scarcely any thing left. Well, while we were in prayer to God, your letter came. One of the sisters opened the door and received it, and after prayer it was given to me. You will be able to conceive the greatness of our joy, on opening it, and finding it to contain 5l. I cannot express how much I felt. During the trial I had been much comforted by the Lord's sending a little token of his love every day. It just proved that He was mindful of us in our poverty, and that when His time was come, He would send us an abundance. I think we all felt your absence a little, although not cast down on that account. Money is very precious to those who, like us, so evidently see the HAND and HEART of our Heavenly Father in bestowing it, The sisters send their love to you.
"Your affectionate brother,
"R. B."
On July 6th I received the following account from Bristol, dated July 5th. "You are, I am sure, often praying for us, and therefore see, in the help we receive, God's gracious answers to your prayers, and therefore you will be refreshed by hearing the account of how matters are with us. On Saturday there was again a little money needed in the Girls'-Orphan-House, for butter and such little articles; but I had none in hand, wherewith to supply this need, until nearly tea time, when 5s. was given to me. In the evening of the same day, at ten o'clock, 10s. was sent through brother J. S. You will see that we are still cast simply on God for the future, without anything to depend on but Himself; and on whom, or on what should children depend, but on their most kind Father."
On July 8th, whilst still detained in the Lord's service at Liverpool, I received from a brother 10l. for the Orphans, which I sent off at once. On the same day, after I had sent off the money, I received the following letter from Bristol, dated July 7.
"The Lord is still pleased to keep us very low. Only 4s. 2d. in money has come in since last I wrote to you. The 10s. I told you of, and this 4s. 2d., I divided among the sisters. But as this was far from being sufficient, and knowing that you had received 6l. 10s. and only sent 5l., I took out of the other funds 1l. 6s. 6d., being all that I could spare, and divided it also. I would not have done so, had it not been needful, and had it not appeared to me that we were not going out of the path of obedience in doing this. There was a sack of flour sent this morning. We are still, we may say, in need, as even the money, which I have divided, was not enough to purchase every thing desirable to have."
On July 11th, whilst at Worcester, I received the following letter, dated Bristol, July 9.
"After writing to you the last time, I got no more money on that day, except 1s. The next day, Wednesday, I received 2s. 6d., and took 2s. out of the box in the Boys'-Orphan-House. Also a sister purchased a Bible, and out of that money I took 3s. 6d. to make up the 30s., to which I alluded in my last letter. This carried us through the day. In the evening of the same day I received 11s. 3d. and 2s., which purchased meat for dinner; and the potatoes in the boys' garden, being now fit for use, we had for dinner. After the dinner was provided we received the 10l. from you, which enabled the sisters again to replenish their stock. Out of the 10l. I kept the 30s., in case I might need it on Saturday for the salaries of the masters and governesses of the Day Schools. We felt the poverty a little more, I think, on account of your absence. I knew the Lord would help, but still I felt tried in some measure. The Lord, by His grace, reproves our waywardness towards Him.
When this letter arrived, there was sent to me, at the same time, from Bristol, 5l. for the Orphans, which I sent off at once. On July 17th I returned to Bristol.
I add a few more words respecting my stay at Liverpool.
—About October 1837 I sent some Bibles and 46 copies of my Narrative to a brother in Upper Canada, who, in dependence upon the Lord for temporal supplies, is labouring as a missionary in that country. About eighteen months afterwards I heard, that this box had not arrived. I then wrote to the shipbroker at Liverpool, (who as agent had to send it to America, and to whom I had paid his commission and the freight), to make inquiry about the box; but I received no answer. About a month afterwards my letter was returned to me, through the Dead-Letter Office, and it was stated on the outside that the individual had left Liverpool, and no one knew where he was gone. Putting all these things together, I had now full reason to think that the broker had, never sent off the box. My comfort, however, was, that though this poor sinner had acted thus, yet the Lord, in His own place and way, would use the Bibles and my Narratives. Now, almost immediately after my arrival in Liverpool, a brother told me, that several persons wished to hear me preach who had read my Narrative; and that he knew a considerable number had been bought by a brother, a bookseller, from pawnbrokers, and sold again; and that some also had been ordered from London when there were no more to be had otherwise. It was thus evident that the shipbroker pawned these Narratives before he absconded; but the Lord used them as I had hoped.—I preached ten times in English and once in German whilst at Liverpool, and I know that several persons were brought to hear me, through having read my Narrative.—The German brethren preached twice in German, there being several German vessels in the port, and a number of German sugar refiners living at Liverpool. Liverpool seems to me especially a place where a brother, who is familiar with French and German, may find an abundance of work among the German and French sailors, in the way of preaching to them, and in the way of distributing French and German Bibles and Tracts.—One of the German missionary brethren found out a brother in the Lord, a native of the same town in Prussia, from whence he himself comes, who repeatedly met with us. This dear sailor was the only believer in the vessel in which he was, and has had to suffer much for the Lord's sake.—When the German brethren and sisters were going on board, I engaged a fly for the purpose of taking all their small luggage. When the man put the luggage into the fly, I was struck by its having a hind boot, which I had never seen before in any fly, which he opened, and into which he put several carpet bags. There were seventeen packages altogether. When we arrived at the vessel it was just on the point of going into the river, with several other vessels, and there were crowds of people standing at the docks. The flyman took out the luggage and was on the point of leaving, when I asked him whether he had taken out all the luggage, which I had not been able to count, because of the pressure of people, and the rapidity with which the packages were taken to the vessel. His reply was, Yes. But all at once, by the good hand of God, I remembered the hind boot, and I asked him to open it. The man, somewhat confused, opened it, and in it were five or six carpet bags. This thing showed me afresh our entire dependence upon the Lord, step by step. I was alone. The crowd was great. The vessel was on the point of sailing: and all without my fault or the fault of any one; but it was so through unforseen circumstances. One minute later, and the bags, in all human probability, would have been lost. For when the brethren had missed their luggage, it would have been too late; for though I had marked the number of the fly when I engaged it, yet that would have profited nothing, when once the brethren were at sea. But the hand of God was for good upon these His children, whose stock of linen was only such as they would need. Such a circumstance should teach one to make the very smallest affairs a subject of prayer; for instance, That all the luggage might be safely taken out of a fly.
On July 10th my wife and I left Liverpool, where we had experienced much kindness, for Worcester, where we stayed a few days, and had again much love shown to us by the saints there.
July 25. Since July 11th the Lord has kindly sent in the supplies for the Orphans, so that we have had always something coming in, before the last which was in hand was spent. Now, today, having paid out this morning 8l. 5s., again nothing was left in hand, when in the afternoon 3l. came in by sale of articles.
July 26. Lord's-day. As I had no opportunity today of preaching in our chapels (there being two brethren ministering among us who are strangers in Bristol), I have preached twice this evening in the open air. Precious as this work is, yet I am sure it is not that to which I am called for a constancy, as I have no strength of body for it. But I have seen afresh this evening how greatly it is needed. The second time I preached, I took my stand in a court, filled with poor people, almost every one of whom was dirty, though it was the Lord's day evening. A woman readily lent me a chair on which I stood, and could thus be heard by the people in the houses behind and before me, and on my right and left hand. Judging from their dirty appearance, I should not suppose any of these poor people had been any where, to hear the Gospel preached throughout the day. How plenteous is the harvest, and how few are the labourers! Lord of the harvest, send Thou, in compassion to poor sinners, more labourers into the harvest! —How well a brother who has some gift, and a measure of strength of lungs, might employ a part of the Lord's days, or of other days, either by reading the Scriptures from house to house to such persons, and making some remarks on them; or by standing up in a court and reading the Scriptures aloud and speaking on them. It is very rarely that one meets with decided opposition on these occasions; at least I have generally in such cases found far more readiness to listen, than decidedly to oppose.
Aug. 1. A few days since a brother was staying with me, on his way to his father, whom he had not seen for above two years, and who was greatly opposed to him, on account of the decided steps which his son had taken for the Lord. Before this brother left, that precious promise of our Lord was brought to my mind: "If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven." Matt. xviii. 19. Accordingly, I went to the brother's room, and having agreed to pray about a kind reception from his father, and the conversion of both parents, we prayed together.—Today this brother returned. The Lord has answered already one part of the prayer. The brother was most kindly received, contrary to all natural expectation. May the Lord now help us both to look for an answer to the other part of our prayer! There is nothing too hard for the Lord!
Since the publication of the third edition, the father of this brother died. He lived above ten years after Aug. 1, 1840, until he was above 86 years of age; and as he continued a life of much sin and opposition to the truth, the prospect with reference to his conversion became darker and darker. But at last the Lord answered prayer. This aged sinner was entirely changed, simply rested on the Lord Jesus for the salvation of his soul, and became as much attached to his believing son, as before he had been opposed to him; and wished to have him about him as much as possible, that he might read the Holy Scriptures to him and pray with him. Let this instance encourage believers, who have unbelieving parents, to continue in prayer for them.
Since the publication of the fourth edition, the mother also died. About sixteen years had elapsed, after her son and I had thus prayed together, before, in her case, the answer was granted; yet she, too, at last, in very advanced years, was brought to trust in the Lord Jesus alone for the salvation of her soul.—I distinctly remember, with what full assurance, that the Lord would answer our united supplication, I went to the room of this brother, to propose prayer, resting upon the promise in Matt. xviii. 19, though the case appeared to be most hopeless.
Aug. 6. Yesterday I was led, by the sense of our necessity, and the knowledge of the Father's heart, like Elijah, to go again and again to Him with my request for help, as there was nothing in hand for the Orphans to supply the necessities of today. Last evening, after the meeting, a brother from Oxford gave me a sovereign for the Orphans; by two other individuals was sent half-a-crown; and by the sale of an article, which had been given many weeks since, but was only disposed of today, came in 5s.: thus, in all, the Lord sent again 1l. 7s. 6d. This morning I heard that 10s. was given yesterday to brother B., so that we were able to meet the demands of today, which are 1l. 15s.
Aug. 7. As there was only 2s. 6d. in hand, I asked the Lord repeatedly yesterday to send us what was needed for today. When I came home last evening from the meeting, 5l. was given to me, which Q. Q. had brought while I was away, to be used as I thought well. This I took for the Orphans, which will supply our need for today and tomorrow.
Aug. 8. Saturday. This evening I was meditating on the 4th Psalm. The words in verse 3: "But know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for Himself; the Lord will hear when I call upon Him," I was enabled to apply to myself, and they led me to prayer for spiritual blessings. Whilst in prayer, the need of the Orphans (there being now again not one penny in hand), was also brought to my mind, and I asked the Lord respecting this likewise. ABOUT FIVE MINUTES AFTERWARDS I was informed that a sister wished to see me. She brought 1l. 10s. for the Orphans. Thus the Lord has already kindly sent a little to begin the week with. There was also still further given today, 1s. 11d.; and 5s. 1d. was taken out of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses.
Aug. 10. Monday. The 1l. 17s. which came in on Saturday evening for the Orphans, was not enough for the necessities of today, as 2l. l5s. was required. About noon, the Lord gave through a brother in Bath, who has a relative in one of the Orphan-Houses, 1l. 10s. more, so that we had enough, and a few shillings left. This evening came in 4s. besides, also 15s. 6d. by sale of articles.
Aug. 11. The money which was in hand, with 3s. which was given by one of the labourers, as there was not enough otherwise, helped us through this day.
Aug. 12. One of the labourers gave today 10s. of his own, as nothing had come in. Yet this would not have been sufficient, had there not been sold two pairs of stockings, which had been knitted by the boys, for 4s. 1d., and had not 5s. been found in one of the boxes.
Aug. 13. Yesterday there was given a collection of shells, which was sold today, and supplied the necessities of this day, with an addition of 10s. which a brother gave last evening, and 4s. which was taken out of the box in the Infant-Orphan-House.
Aug. 14. There was nothing at all in hand. I opened the box in my house, and found 1s. 4d. in it, A labourer gave 4s. of his own. There was found 1s, 6d. in the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, and 5s. came in by the sale of a few articles which had been given for that purpose. By this 11s. 10d, we were able to meet the absolute need, but were able to take in only a small quantity of bread.
Aug. 15. There was today the greatest poverty in all the three houses; all the stores were very low, as the income throughout the week had been so small. In addition to this it was Saturday, when the wants are nearly double in comparison with other days. At least 3l. was needed to help us comfortably through the day; but there was nothing towards this in hand. My only hope was in God.
The very necessity led me to expect help for this day; for if none had come, the Lord's name would have been dishonoured. Between twelve and one two sisters in the Lord called on me, and the one gave me 2l. and the other 7s. 6d. for the Orphans. With this I went to the Boys'-Orphan-House about one o'clock, where I found the children at dinner. Brother B. put the following note into my hand, which he was just going to send off:
"Dear Brother,—With potatoes from the children's garden, and with apples from the tree in the play-ground (which apples were used for apple dumplings), and 4s. 6d. the price of some articles given by one of the labourers, we have a dinner. There is much needed. But the Lord has provided and will provide."
There came in still further this day by sale of Reports, 1s., by the box in the Girls'-Orphan-House, 1s., by children's needlework, 6s. 6d., by a donation of one of the sisters in the Orphan-Houses, 6s. Thus we had this day 3l. 6s. 6d. to meet all necessities, and are brought to the close of another week.
Aug. 16. Lord's-day. There came in still further last evening, 3s. by sale of some articles, and today 2s. was given, and 5l.; so that the Lord in His love and faithfulness has given us what we are likely to need tomorrow and the day after.
Aug. 17. There has come in still further 2l.
Aug. 18. This morning a brother who passed through Bristol gave 1l., saying that it had been especially laid on his heart to do so. Thus the Lord has provided a little towards tomorrow. Besides this came in today 1s. 9d.
Aug. 19. By the sale of three pairs of stockings came in 5s. 6d., and from Liverpool was sent 12s. 6d.: this, with what was in hand, was enough for today, and left a little over.
Aug. 20. Today there was not enough money in hand to meet all the demands; but it being known that yesterday several persons had put money into the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, they were opened, and found to contain 1l. 4s. 6d., which was more than sufficient.
I would call upon the believing reader to admire the love and wisdom and power of God in ordering it so that persons should come to the Orphan-Houses just at the time when there is temporal pressure, and should be influenced to put money into the boxes. These little sums have been often the means of helping us in our greatest need. The especial providence of God, as in every other respect, so in this particular point also, is to be seen respecting this Institution, in that so much is anonymously put into the boxes; for there has been no less than 45l. 18s. 9 3/4d, put in during the last two years, from Dec. 10, 1838, to Dec. 10, 1840.
Aug. 22. Saturday. Yesterday there was only 13s. 6d. in hand, which was enough to meet the necessities of the day, but not sufficient to enable us to take in the usual quantity of bread. This morning we were in much need, not only because there were no means for procuring dinner in the Boys' and Girls'-Orphan-Houses, but also because, this being Saturday, we had to procure provisions for two days. When brother B. went to the Infant-Orphan-House, to make inquiry about the demands for today, he was informed that money had been put into the box there, which was found to be 12s. There came in also in the morning 10s, besides. This 1l. 2s. was more than sufficient to purchase all that was needed for dinner. Between twelve and one o'clock there arrived a parcel from Clapham, which contained several donations for the Orphans, amounting to 2l. l5s., besides a pair of sheets and pillow cases, 4 frocks, 4 handkerchiefs, 4 caps, 1 stuff petticoat, 2 chemises, 6 bags, 1 little shirt, (all new), and several yards of prints and calico. In the evening came a box from Worcester, which contained the following articles for sale: a valuable veil, 2 silver ladles, a silver fork, 2 pairs of new plated candlesticks, a fan, and 2 Italian books. There came also from the neighbourhood of Wolverhampton, 2s. 6d. and seven books. Thus the Lord helped us through this day also, at the commencement of which we were so very poor, and needed several pounds.
Aug. 23. Lord's-day. As we have often found it to be the case, so it is again now. After the Lord has tried our faith, He, in the love of His heart, gives us an abundance, to show that not in anger, but for the glory of His name, and for the trial of our faith He has allowed us to be poor. This morning I received from an aged and afflicted servant, 3l.; and a little afterwards 8l. from Q. Q. From another servant 5s.; also 2s. was put anonymously into the box at Bethesda, besides the 1l. 10s. for rent. Thus the Lord has kindly given today 12l. 17s.
Aug. 29. Saturday. Since last Monday had come in only 2l. by the profits of the sale of ladies' baskets, 1l. l4s. 10d. by sale of articles, 3s. as two donations, and 6d. by Reports. Thus it happened that when this day began, though a Saturday, we had only 7s. in hand. In the course of the morning came in 11s. 9d., and towards the evening 8s. 6d. This day we have been as poor in regard to our stores, as at any time. During the whole of this day, though Saturday, we had only 1l. 7s. 3d, On this account we had to buy a smaller quantity of bread than usual, etc.; nevertheless the children have even this day lacked nothing, and there is a sufficient quantity of wholesome food till breakfast on Monday morning.
For many weeks past very little has come in for the other funds. The chief supply has been by the sale of Bibles. Last Saturday I was not able to pay the whole of the weekly salaries of the teachers in the Day Schools, which, however, does not make me a debtor to them, as it is an understood thing, that they have not to look to me for payment, but to the Lord. Today again only 2s. was in hand, whilst several pounds were needed to pay the salaries. It appeared now plainly to be the will of the Lord that, as all the labourers in the Orphan-Houses know about the state of the funds, so the brethren and sisters who labour in the Day Schools should share the trial of faith and the joy of faith with us. Accordingly we all met, and after I had laid on their hearts, the importance of keeping to themselves, for the Lord's sake, the state of the funds, we prayed together.
Aug. 30. Lord's day. Today the Lord has again bountifully opened His hand for the Orphans. There came in with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, 5l.; from a sister, a servant, 10s.; and for rent 1l. 10s. Besides this, was anonymously put into the box at Bethesda, 10s. 3d. and 2s. 6d.
Sept. 1. Though there was a good supply given to the matrons yesterday, yet, as the stock of provisions had been so low on Saturday, the money was all spent by last evening; and had the Lord not kindly sent in yesterday 14s., and today 1l. 10s., we should have been again in need.
Sept. 4. The day before yesterday, Sept. 2, came a box from Leeds, from sisters in the Lord whom we have never seen, and of whom until now we have never heard, but on whose hearts the Lord has laid His work in our hands. The box contained a variety of articles, to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans. No money has come in the last two days, except 1s. which was given, and 5s. for things sold. On this account the boxes in the Orphan-Houses were opened, but only 1s. 7 1/2d. was found in them. To supply what was needed today, an article which came in the box from Leeds was sold for 5s. and thus we were helped through the day. The sisters who sent the box from Leeds wrote to us a most affectionate letter, in which they announced this and another box which is to follow, stating how much the Lord had laid the work in our hand on their hearts. They may have little thought, when they sent off the box, that so soon the produce of one of the articles sent by them would supply our need.
Sept. 5. Saturday. Because there had come in so little during the last days, at least 3l. was requisite to supply the need of today. There was, however, not one penny in hand when the day commenced. Last evening the labourers in the Orphan-Houses, together with the teachers of the Day Schools, met for prayer. This morning one of the teachers, who had a little money of his own, brought 1l. 5s. 6d. Thus, as we had hoped, we were enabled to provide for the dinner. In the afternoon all of us met again for prayer. Another teacher of the Day Schools gave 2s, 6d, and 1s. came in besides. But all this was not enough. There was no dinner provided for tomorrow, nor was there any money to take in milk tomorrow, and besides this a number of other little things were to be purchased, that there might be no real want of anything. Now observe how our kind father helped us! Between seven and eight this evening a sister, whose heart the Lord has made willing to take on her the service of disposing of the articles which are sent for sale, brought 2l. 10s. 6d. for some of the things which came a fortnight ago from Worcester, and last Wednesday from Leeds. The sister stated, that though she did not feel at all well, she had come because she had it so laid on her heart, that she could not stay away. Our Father knew our need, and therefore, though so late, He sent this help. Thus we were richly provided with all we needed this Saturday.
Sept. 6. The Lord has kindly sent in today for the Orphans 4l. 5s. 6d. for the need of tomorrow. One pound of this money was given by a servant, who has again and again given of late, and who has thus again and again been the means of supplying our need, when there was either nothing at all, or not sufficient in hand. When she gave me the money to-night, she told me that of late she had had the Orphans particularly laid on her heart. 1l. 3s. was the produce of an orphan-box, which a sister was led so seasonably to send just now.
Sept. 7. This morning a brother from Barnstaple, who came on Saturday evening (that evening when we were so greatly tried, but so graciously delivered), gave me 1l. 0s. 3d., which the love of some saints at Barnstaple had sent for the Orphans, besides 5s. of his own. We have thus enough for today and tomorrow. There came in still further today, 6s. 6d.
Sept. 8. How kindly has the Lord so ordered it that for some time past the income for the school-fund should have been so little, in order that thus we might be constrained to let the labourers in the Day Schools share our joys and our trials of faith, which had been before kept from them! But as above two years ago the Lord ordered it so that it became needful to communicate to the labourers in the Orphan-Houses the state of the funds, and made it a blessing to them, so that I am now able to leave Bristol, and yet the work goes on, so, I doubt not, the brethren and sisters who are teachers in the Day Schools will be greatly blessed by being thus partakers of our precious secret respecting the state of the funds. Our prayer meetings have already been a blessing to us, and united us more than ever in the work. We have them now every morning at seven, and we shall continue them, the Lord helping us, till we see His hand stretched forth, not merely in giving us means for the teachers, but also for other purposes; for we need a stove in one of the school rooms, a fresh supply of several kinds of Bibles and New Testaments, and it is desirable to have means to help Missionary brethren who labour in dependence upon the Lord for the supply of their temporal necessities.
Sept. 9. We are now meeting every morning at seven for prayer. With 5s. which was sent yesterday from the Isle of Wight for the Orphans, we have commenced the day; but I believe that the Lord will help us through this day also.
Evening. About twelve this morning a brother, a stranger, who is staying at Ashton, near Bristol, came with some of his family to the Orphan-Houses. While brother B. was for a few moments out of the room to fetch a key, the visiting brother took the opportunity of secretly putting something into the box at the Boys'-Orphan-House. Brother B., however, perceived it before he could get away from the box, and, the brother being gone, our great need brought it out, when it was found to be 5l. Thus the Lord kindly has provided for the need of today and tomorrow. When this money was given we were exceedingly poor. For not only would there have been no means to take in the usual quantity of bread in one of the houses, but there was no money to take in milk in the afternoon in any of the houses. The Lord knew our need, and therefore just now sent this brother. He gave also 2s, for Reports.
Sept. 10. When now the 5l. of yesterday was again spent, the Lord has kindly sent another 5l. There came in still further 6s. 10d.
Yesterday came in it. 7s., and today 1l. 15s. 10d. for the other funds. Thus the Lord, in answer to our petitions at the morning prayer meetings, has sent in a little for these funds also.
Sept. 11. The Lord has sent in still further and more richly for the Orphans. This morning 1l. was given to me which had been sent from Trowbridge, and this afternoon a brother who came from Scotland gave me 10l., and brought the following trinkets which were sent by a lady from Scotland:—2 clasps, a ring, 2 pairs of ear-rings, a slide, a pin, a cross, and 2 bracelets, all of gold. In the afternoon came in 3l. by sale of articles.
Sept. 12. The Lord has sent in still more. This morning was sent 10l. through a banker in London, by the order of a sister at Worcester; and 10s. was put into the box at my house. This has been a week of peculiar mercies, as above 40l. has been sent in, besides several articles. We have continued to meet for prayer every morning, from seven to eight.
Sept. 13. Today came in 3l. 8s. 4d.,of which 1l. 10s. 6d. was for some of the articles sent from Leeds.
Sept. 16. Though during the last week above 40l. came in, yet, because the usual expenses for housekeeping were about 15l., and because most of the sisters who labour in the Orphan-Houses had not had for a long time any money for their own personal necessities, we were the day before yesterday again so poor, that only a few shillings were left. The Lord, knowing this, sent in a little money, and, by a sister from the Isle of Wight, 7 rings, 2 brooches, 2 pins, 1 pair of ear-rings, 2 pairs of studs, all of gold, 2 chemises, and 2 babies' shirts. Today arrived from Leeds, from two sisters in the Lord before referred to, a second box, the first having come about a fortnight ago. This second box contained the following articles:—2 silver dessert spoons, a pair of silver sugar tongs, a silver tea caddy spoon, 6 plated forks, 4 knife resters, a cream spoon, 6 Britannia metal tea spoons, a silver watch, a metal watch, a small telescope, 2 cloak fastenings, 11 pencils, a pen case with pieces of sealing wax, 2 pairs of scissors, 6 chimney ornaments, a boa ring, a chess board, 3 purses with 2l. 1s. 4d., 2 silver pocket knives, a silver pencil case, a ditto of brass, a bodkin case, a gold pin, a silver vinaigrette, 125 needles, 1 memorandum case, 5 paper baskets, 18 books, 100 copies of a small English Grammar (unbound), 75 pamphlets, 37 table mats, 120 little tracts, 5 pairs of stockings, 2 pairs of socks, a Thibet shawl, 6 coloured frocks, 4 caps, 9 collars, 8 neckerchiefs, 3 muslin aprons, 5 holland aprons, 4 muslin frocks, 6 babies' ditto, 2 white gowns, 2 remnants of print, 5 habit shirts, a bonnet, a merino apron, a glass trumpet, a taper candlestick, several small pieces of riband and gauze, 4 yards of silk fringe, 7 cases of different kinds of cards, a crape scarf, some lining calico, 13 little boxes, a straw basket, and about 50 other various little articles. It is difficult to describe the peculiar pleasure which I had in unpacking the box, and in finding that all these articles were for the Lord's work.—There came in still further this evening 8s.
Besides other small donations since the 10th, there came into day 5l. for the other funds, as the answer to oft-repeated prayer; also, from Liverpool, 1l. l4s. 8d. Thus the Lord encourages our hearts in this part of the work likewise.
Sept. 17. The need of today for the Orphans was supplied by the little which had come in yesterday, and by the 2l. 1s. 4d. which came in the second box from Leeds. These two boxes from Leeds have been sent most seasonably by the Lord, and thus truly the sisters who sent them have been led by Him to do so, according to what they wrote in a letter, which announced the arrival of the first box; "We feel deeply interested in your concerns, and our anxiety to serve you has increased by every new discovery of the kindness and goodness of God, in providing for your wants. Indeed, we cannot but believe that the Lord has put it into our hearts to help you, and we trust you will honour us, His unworthy servants, by believing that our gift is really His." There came in today 2l. 16s. by the sale of some of the articles sent in the first box from Leeds, and by the sale of some other articles. Thus our need for tomorrow is supplied.
Sept. 18. Today the Lord has sent again 17s. 5d. by sale of some of the articles sent from Leeds, and 2l. 10s. from Leicestershire, and also 4s. for children's needlework. Thus we had enough for tomorrow, being Saturday.
Sept. 21. Monday. By what was in hand for the Orphans, and by what had come in yesterday, the need of today is more than supplied, as there is enough for tomorrow also.
Today a brother from the neighbourhood of London gave me 10l., to be laid out as it might be most needed. we have been praying many days for the School-Bible—and Missionary Funds, I took it all for them. This brother knew nothing about our work, when he came three days since to Bristol. Thus the Lord, to show His continued care over us, raises up new helpers. They that trust in the Lord shall never be confounded! Some who helped for a while may fall asleep in Jesus; others may grow cold in the service of the Lord; others may be as desirous as ever to help, but have no longer the means; others may have both a willing heart to help, and have also the means, but may see it the Lord's will to lay them out in another way;—and thus, from one cause or another, were we to lean upon man, we should surely be confounded; but, in leaning upon the living God alone, We are BEYOND disappointment, and BEYOND being forsaken because of death, or want of means, or want of love, or because of the claims of other work. How precious to have learned in any measure to stand with God alone in the world, and yet to be happy, and to know that surely no good thing shall be withheld from us whilst we walk uprightly!
Sept. 23. This morning there was again only 10s. in hand for the Orphans. As this was not enough for the day, I opened the box in my house, in which I found 8s. 6d. The boxes in the Orphan-Houses were also opened, which contained 7s. 6 1/2d. There came in also by the sale of a pair of stockings, 1s. 6d. This 1l., 7s. 6 1/2d. was enough, and even 3s. more than was absolutely needed. The Lord gave today another proof that He is still mindful of us, for a brother sent half a ton of coals to each of the three houses.
Sept. 24. Yesterday our prayer, in our meeting at twelve o'clock, was especially for the supply of today. I was fully assured that the Lord would send help, as now all our stores were again exhausted. Accordingly, last evening a sister, into whose hands some of the articles, which came in the second box from Leeds, had been put for sale, gave me 1l. 3s. 7d., being the payment for some of them. There came in a donation of 2s. besides. This 1l. 5s. 7d. served for this day. The Lord be praised who has helped us thus!
Sept. 25. It is now half-past eleven. Nothing has come in as yet. How the Lord will help us through the day is not my care; for sure I am He will help. I am just going to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. Perhaps the Lord will again, at the time of the meeting, fill our mouths with praise, as He has done so many times. My soul waits on Him for deliverance! How truly precious to have such a Father as we have!
Sept. 26. When I went yesterday to the meeting for prayer, I found that some articles, which had come from Leeds, had been sold for 10s. 9d., and that 2s. 6d. had been taken out of the box in the Girls'-Orphan-Ho use. To this one of the labourers added 10s. of his own. This 1l. 3s. 3d. supplied all we needed yesterday; but there was now again nothing in hand to meet this day's demands, which I knew would be great, on account of its being Saturday. The Lord, however, remembered our Saturday's necessities, and therefore sent in abundantly, so that we had even more than we needed for today, though we required no less than 5l. The way in which He kindly helped us, was this: first, 3l. came in for articles which had been sent from Leeds; afterwards a little boy and girl brought two little Savings' Banks, filled with their little presents, amounting altogether to 15s l 1/4d. In the evening came in still further 4l. for articles which had been sold, most of which had likewise been sent from Leeds. Thus the Lord sent in altogether 8l. l8s. l 1/4d. in the course of the day, whilst it commenced without there being a penny in hand.
Sept. 27. Today the Lord has sent in still further 2l. 5s. 8d., of which 15s. 8d. was for articles sent from Leeds, and 1l. with Ecclesiastes ix. 10.
Sept. 29. Yesterday we were again penniless, after the necessities of the three houses had been supplied. Almost immediately afterwards came in 1l. l2s. 2d., sufficient to supply the need of today.
Sept. 30. Today there is nothing in hand. It is now a quarter past eleven, but nothing yet has come in. Nevertheless the Lord will surely help us this day also! About five minutes after I had written the above, I was informed by a note from brother B., that 2l. 10s. 6d. had come in in small donations.
Oct. 1. It is now again eleven o'clock, and the Lord has not as yet been pleased to send in any thing for the necessities of this day. Let me see now how the Lord will again help us in the love of His heart; for He will surely help, though I know not how.—Evening. When I went to the prayer meeting, I found that only 1s. had come in, but at the same time I was informed that the money, which had been divided yesterday among the matrons, was enough for today also.
Oct. 2. Nothing came in yesterday, nor this morning. In addition to this, I was so engaged, that in the afternoon I had not even time to make inquiry how the Lord had helped. Thus it is often that I can do nothing but quietly go on with my engagements, casting all care upon the Lord. When I came home this evening, the first thing that met my eyes was the following letter from a distance of many miles:
"Beloved Brother,—Five pounds are enclosed as from the Lord, as I believe you stand in need of it for the use of the Orphans. Yours affectionately, F. W.
Truly, the Lord, to whom we had spoken yesterday, had spoken for us, and told this brother that we were in need of money. After having read this letter, my eyes met two others. In the one I was informed by a brother, that he had sold two pairs of fire screens for 8s., and had sent the money. These screens had been for many months in his hands for sale, and now to-day, in this our poverty, a lady came to the shop and bought them. The other letter was from brother B., master of the boys in the Boys'-Orphan-House, which I give here:
"I opened the boxes and found 4s. 1 1/2d. in them. This was far from being sufficient. About four o'clock three persons came to the Orphan-Houses, and put into the box at the Boys'-Orphan-House 7s., into the box at the Infant-Orphan-House 6s., and into the box at the Girls'-Orphan-House 7s. Thus I have had in all to divide 1l. 4s. 1 1/2d., which meets the necessities of the day."
Oct. 3. It was exceedingly kind of the Lord to send in so much yesterday; for the necessities of today, being Saturday, required it all. And now, when there was again nothing in hand, there arrived this evening a large box, sent by a sister at Stafford, whom I never saw, which contained 1l. 5s., and the following articles: 11 gold rings, a silver ring washed, a locket, a gold brooch, 3 single ear-rings, a watch hook, a silver watch-guard, 2 silver-mounted eye glasses, 3 vinaigrettes, 2 purses, a silver buckle, 2 old silver coins, 2 silver pencil cases, 3 pairs of bracelets, 3 necklaces, 2 waist buckles, a bracelet snap, a cloak fastening, a necklace snap, a yard measure, a mourning brooch, 7 pincushions, a snuff box, a small looking glass, 2 china boxes, a china inkstand, 5 china cups and saucers, a china basket, 2 china jugs, a scent bottle, a boa ring, 20 shells, a boy's cap, a pair of snuffers and stand, a little basket, a pair of screen handles, 3 ornamental pens, 5 artificial flowers, 5 glass plates, 5 counter plates, 3 pairs of card racks, a comb, a pair of watch pockets, 12 table mats, 8 paintings, 4 drawings, 2 fans, a pair of garters, 3 pairs of gloves, 3 pairs of silk stockings, 3 veils, a gauze scarf, 6 ladies' bags, 5 silk bands, 2 floss silk scarfs, a gauze handkerchief, 2 silk scarfs, a crape shawl, a silk shawl, 2 muslin capes, 30 yards of worn cotton lace, 8 yards of muslin work, 9 yards of print, a pinafore, a frock, a sampler, a pair of socks, a pair of ear-rings, and 17 ladies' dresses.—One thing is particularly to be noticed respecting this donation, that the Lord from time to time raises up fresh individuals to help us in the work, thereby continually reminding us, that He is not limited to any individuals in particular, neither are we, His children.
Oct. 4. Today came in 19s. 4d., by sale of some of the articles sent from Leeds. Thus our need for tomorrow is supplied.
Oct. 5. 7l. 15s. 2d. came in again today, of which 5l. was from a brother whom I have never seen.
Oct. 6. Today came in further by sale of articles which had been sent from Leeds, 3l. 7s. 6d., also 14s. 3d. in small donations.
Oct. 7. 1l. 14s. 2d. came in today in small donations.
It is now five weeks, since we have daily met for prayer. Not indeed merely to ask for means, but for grace and wisdom for ourselves in reference to the work, for the conversion of the children under our care, for grace for those children who stand already on the Lord's side, for a blessing upon the circulation of the Scriptures, for a blessing upon the work, with reference to the church at large, etc. But whilst we thus, as the Spirit led us, prayed for various things, nevertheless the lack of means was that which had brought us day after day together. We asked the Lord to give us the means which are needed for carrying on the Day Schools, for buying Bibles, as several sorts are needed, and to enable us to assist Missionary work in foreign countries. Never at any previous time, since first the work commenced on March 5, 1834, have we had to continue so long a time in prayer for these funds, without obtaining the answer. The Lord, however, gave us grace to "continue in prayer," and keep our hearts in the assurance that He would help. Now, though He delayed long, before He sent us the answer, in His own time He made it manifest, that He had not only not shut His ear against our prayer in anger, but that He had answered them even before we called; for there was sent today, from the East Indies, a bank order for 100l., which had been sent off two months since, therefore several days before we even began to pray. It was left to me to apply this money as it might be needed. As we had so long, and so particularly prayed for these funds, I took the whole of it for them, and not for the Orphan-Fund. —The Lord be praised for this precious answer. It was particularly precious, as leading the dear brethren and sisters who labour in the Day Schools, and who comparatively are little accustomed to this way, to see how good it is to wait upon the Lord.
Oct. 10. All our wants for the Orphans have been richly supplied during this week; and today, on my leaving for Trowbridge in the Lord's service, I was able to send 5l. 5s. 8d. to the sisters, the matrons.
Oct. 11—14. Trowbridge. I have had a good season since I have been here. The Lord has enabled me to rise very early, and I have thus had more than two hours of communion with Him before breakfast, the fruit of which I have felt all the day long. The Lord in mercy continue my enjoyment!—For the last three weeks I had been asked, yea pressed, to come here, to minister among the saints; but I could not clearly see it to be the Lord's will, and therefore did not go. Now I came, assured that it was His will, and have been very happy, and greatly helped in my service here in every way, and I am fully assured that my labour has not been in vain. How good it is, even for this life, according to the Lord's bidding either to go or stay!—I have seen, whilst here, a young woman, the daughter of a brother and sister who were in communion with us, but who have both fallen asleep. While her father was living she hated the truth, but still she came to Bethesda Chapel. One day, whilst there, she was made to feel the power of the truth: and, since the death of her parents, the Lord has granted an answer to their many prayers on her behalf; for she is now standing on the Lord's side. Let believing parents continue in prayer for their children, and let them also continue affectionately and at suitable times to bring the truth before them, and to bring them to the preaching of the Word: and in due season it will be manifested that their labours were not in vain.
Oct. 14. Yesterday, while at Trowbridge, I received from a sister, from the neighbourhood of London, 1l. for the Orphans. In the evening, a sister, a servant, gave me 1s. This morning I gave myself again to prayer respecting the Orphan-Fund, as I had reason to believe that there was nothing in hand in Bristol, except several pounds had come in since I left. Soon after, a sister, a servant, gave me 5s., and, on leaving in the afternoon, a brother gave me 5l. When I came home this evening, I found that only 3l. 10s. 8d. had come in since I left, just sufficient to supply the need up to this evening, so that the help which the Lord gave at Trowbridge, in answer to prayer, came very seasonably to supply the need of tomorrow.
Oct. 20. Tuesday. During these last three days we have again experienced the continued care of our loving Father on behalf of the Orphans. On Saturday evening, when again there was no money at all remaining in my hands, a pair of silver mounted horns was anonymously left at my house. On the Lord's day I received 6l. 1s. Yesterday the Lord sent in still more abundantly; for in the morning came in 12l. from the neighbourhood of Wolverhampton, and in the evening 2l. was given to me by D. C. This morning, a few minutes after I had been thinking that no potatoes had been sent yet for the Orphans, and that we had no money to lay in a stock (for the 14l. which came in yesterday was at once sent off), a brother came and informed me that he had given orders that twenty sacks of good potatoes should be sent to the Orphan-Houses. Thus our kind Father continually cares for us.
Oct. 26. Monday. The Lord has been again very kind to us, during these last days. There came in since Oct. 20, in small donations, 18s. 1d.; for knitting and by sale of stockings, 16s. On Friday last, besides, there were sold stockings to the amount of 17s. 5d. In the evening a brother gave me 5l. This 5l. and the money for the stockings came in very seasonably, as it enabled us to supply the large demands of the next day. Yesterday morning, when I took my hat from the rail, I found in one of my gloves a note, containing a 5l. note and the following words: "2l. for the Orphans, the rest for dear brother and sister Muller," There came in still further yesterday 2l. 12s. 6d. Thus we are again supplied for about three days.
In reference to the note which was put into my hat, containing 5l., I just add, that I had repeatedly asked the Lord for means for our own personal expenses, previous to the reception of it, as we had but very little money for ourselves. Indeed the very moment, before I took my hat from the rail, I had risen from my knees, having again asked the Lord for means for ourselves and for the Orphans.
Oct. 30. The evening before last 9s. came in, being the produce of some work which a sister had done for the benefit of the Orphans; and early this morning, while my candle was yet burning, a paper was brought, containing 12s. These two donations, with what little is in hand besides, supply our need for this day.
Oct. 31. Saturday. There was no money in hand, My mind was particularly stirred up to open the box in my house. I did so, and found 1l. 10s. 7d. in it. The boxes in the Orphan-Houses were likewise opened, in which was found 8s. Also a brother from Tetbury gave 2s. 6d. Thus the need of today was supplied.
Nov. 2. Monday. 1l. 11s, is the need of today, and as 1l. 12s. has come in since Saturday evening, we are helped for today.
November 3 and 4. Only 2s. 6d. has come in since Nov. 2nd, but the necessities of these two days were supplied by means of articles which had been given to be disposed of.
Nov. 5. Only 2s. came in yesterday for knitting. We are now, without any thing, cast upon the Lord. The need of today is 1l. 3s., which I am unable to send.—Afternoon. There came in at three o'clock 4l. for some of the articles which had been sent from Stafford, and which had been sold some time since, so that I was able to send the needful supplies. There came in 6d. besides.
Nov. 7. Saturday. Of the 4l. 2s. 6d. which was in hand the day before yesterday, there was so much left, that, with an addition of 9s. 6d., all the necessities of today could be supplied. This one of the labourers gave.
Nov. 8. Lord's day. Today the Lord has been again very kind, and looked upon us in our poverty. Besides the 1l. 10s. for rent, I received with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, 5l. I was also informed that two large sacks of oatmeal had been sent from Glasgow as a present. In addition to all this, a brother told me that he had it in his heart to give 10l. worth of materials, for winter clothes for the children, leaving the material to my choice, according to the need, so that just what was most desirable might be given. (He, accordingly, sent a few days after, a large pair of good blankets, 32 1/2 yards of mixed beaver, and 10 1/2 yards of blue beaver for cloaks.) There was also 1s. put into the box at Bethesda, with the words, "Jehovah Jireh." These words have often been refreshing to my soul for many years past, and I wrote them with a valuable diamond ring, set with ten brilliants, which was given to the Orphans about twenty months since, upon a pane of glass in my room, which circumstance, in remembrance of the remarkable way in which that valuable ring came, has often cheered my heart, when in deep poverty my eyes have been cast upon "JEHOVAH JIREH"(i.e. the Lord will provide) whilst sitting in my room.
I purposed to have gone to Trowbridge yesterday, and had settled it so on Friday evening with brother ——. But no sooner had I decided to do so, than I felt no peace in the prospect of going. After having prayed about it on Friday evening, and yesterday morning, I determined not to go, and I felt sure the Lord had some reason for not allowing me to feel happy in the prospect of going. I began now to look out for blessings for this day, considering that the Lord had kept me here for good to some souls. This evening I was especially led to press the truth on the consciences of the unconverted, entreating and beseeching them, and telling them also that I felt sure, the Lord had, in mercy to some of them, kept me from going to Trowbridge. I spoke on Genesis vi. 1—5. Immediately after I saw fruit of the Word. An individual fully opened his heart to me. I walked about with him till about ten o'clock, even as long as I had any strength left. [About ten days afterwards a brother told me of a poor drunkard who heard me that evening, and who since then had stayed up till about twelve o'clock every night to read the Scriptures, and who had not been intoxicated since.]
Nov. 11. As only 4s. 6d. had come in for knitting, and 2s. 6d. as a donation for the Orphans since the 8th, we were now again very poor. Today there was 9s. more needed than there was in hand, which one of the labourers gave. There were sent today anonymously, nine sacks of potatoes, a proof that our Father continues to be mindful of us, though we are now again so poor.
Nov. 12. Only 6s. 6d. came in last night, 4s. 6d. of which is the produce of the work of a sister, and 2s. from a poor afflicted sister. This 6s. 6d. was very precious in my esteem, because it showed me afresh our Father's heart towards us, and it was a little to begin the day with. No more has come in this morning, when at twelve I heard from the Orphan-Houses that 1s. 6d. had been received for knitting, and that about eleven this morning a sovereign was left, anonymously, at the Girls'-Orphan House. The paper in which the sovereign was enclosed contained only the letters "A. U. S."—This was a precious deliverance. We have thus enough for today.—Evening. There came in still further today for knitting 3s., and a little girl sent 1s. When I came home this evening, I found that a boy's jacket and a sovereign had been left anonymously at my house. Truly, these deliverances today have been very precious! We have now enough for tomorrow also.
Nov. 14. Trowbridge. Saturday. That which came in the evening before last supplied our need yesterday; but since then nothing has been received, and therefore there were no means to meet this day's demands. I had to go this morning in the Lord's service to Trowbridge, feeling assured that His time had now come for my going, and it required indeed looking at the power, wisdom, and love of our Father, comfortably to leave my dear fellow-labourers, there being nothing in hand. My comfort was that the same kind Father who had provided would provide.
Nov. 16. Trowbridge. Monday. This morning I received a letter from Bristol, in which I was informed that on Saturday came in 12s. 6d; also 9s. was given by one of the labourers. Besides this were received 3s. by sale of articles, and three small donations, amounting to 5s. Thus the Lord most mercifully sent in 1l. 9s. 6d., which was enough to supply the absolute need.
Nov. 17. Trowbridge. This morning I had again the report from Bristol about yesterday, in order that, though unable to send means, I might help with my prayers. In a note written in the morning by brother B., and sent to my wife, he writes thus: "I know not whether the Lord has sent in any money for the Orphans or not. I have received none. Sister —— (one of the labourers) has given half a ton of coals to the Boys'-Orphan-House.
There are coals needed at the Girls'-Orphan-House, and much money for the ordinary expenses. There is sufficient in all the houses for dinner. He has said, 'I will never leave thee nor forsake thee,' so that we may boldly say, the Lord is MY helper." In the afternoon of the same day he writes: "I have delayed writing as long as I could. The Lord has not sent any thing, but the sisters can do without taking in bread, and they had money enough to pay for the milk, except sister ——, who has, however, received a few shillings for some articles of her own, that she sold. Thus we are supplied with the absolute necessities for today." In reference to the last lines I make a few remarks. At first sight it might appear as if it were a failure of the principles on which we act, that now and then individuals who are connected with the work have been obliged to sell articles of their own to procure things which were needed. But let it be remembered, that under no circumstances prayer for temporal supplies can be expected to prevail with the Lord, except we are willing to part with money or any needless articles which we may have of our own. Indeed an Institution like the one under my care should not be carried on by any rich believer, on the principles on which we, by grace, are enabled to act, except it be that he were made willing himself to give of his own property, as long as he has any thing, whenever the Institution is in real need.
Nov. 18. Bristol. This morning at twelve I returned from Trowbridge, where I had been very happy, and where the Lord evidently used me this time. How happy a thing it is to go and to stay with the Lord!—I found that yesterday some money had been put into the orphan-box at my house, which my wife had reason to believe was at least 1l. She therefore sent 1l. which had come in for the rent of the Orphan-Houses, in consideration of this, as she had not the key to the box. This 1l. met the necessities of yesterday, and with 1s. additional, which one of the labourers gave, was also enough for the dinner of today. There came in also yesterday from Clapham, as a token that the Lord allows us only to be poor for the trial of our faith, but not in anger, the following articles of clothing: 6 frocks, 7 pinafores, 4 chemises, 3 pocket handkerchiefs, 2 petticoats, 3 night caps, 4 work bags (all new) a yard of merino, and 12 silk papers. On my arrival at home I opened the box in my house, in which I found 2l. 0s. 6d., so that I had 1l. 0s. 6d. to send off, whereby the usual quantity of bread could be taken in.
Nov. 19. Since Sept. 18, 1838, this has been, perhaps, of all the days the most trying. The poverty has been exceedingly great for the last six days. There had come in no money since yesterday. On this account no bread could be taken in, as far as the natural prospect went. Nor was there any money at three in the afternoon to take in milk for tea, when brother B. came to me. However, we prayed together, and the Lord had mercy. For one of the labourers found that he was able, which he knew not before, to give of his own 10s., so that there were the means to take in the milk, by the time that it is usually brought. This evening about six there came in still further 10s. 3d. by the sale of Reports. Thus, by the good hand of our God upon us, we were able to take in bread as usual. How very kind of the Lord that He sent us an abundance of potatoes and two large sacks of oatmeal, before this season of deep poverty, as to pecuniary means, commenced! May the Lord now in great pity look upon us, for we are in deeper poverty than ever, as with every day it increases, whilst there is no full deliverance. Thanks be to the Lord that my mind has been in peace this day also, though our faith has been so very much tried! Thanks to Him that my mind is in peace now, though there is nothing but want on every side before me, respecting tomorrow! Surely, the Lord will again, in His own time, more fully stretch forth His helping hand!
Nov. 20. Nothing more had come in this morning. It was nearly three o'clock this afternoon, when brother B. called on me, to see whether any thing had come in; but I had received nothing. I was obliged to go out with a brother from Devonshire, and therefore requested him to wait till I returned. About a quarter past three I came back, when, among several persons who were waiting at my house to converse with me, there was a sister whom I much desired to see about some church affair. I did so. When I had ended the conversation with her, about half-past three, she gave me 10l. for the Orphans. More sweet, and more needed, were none of the previous deliverances. Language cannot express the real joy in God which I had. I was free from, excitement. The circumstance did not un-fit me even for a single moment to attend to my other engagements. I was not in the least surprised, because, by grace, my soul had been waiting on God for deliverance. Never had help been so long delayed. In none of the houses was milk for tea, and in one even no bread, and there was no money to purchase either. It was only a few minutes before the milkman came, when brother B. arrived at the Orphan-Houses with the money. Yet even now it was more than an hour before the usual tea time. The Lord be praised for this deliverance! Such a week of deep poverty, as we have had since Nov. 13, we never had before. Yet, thanks to the Lord! we have lacked nothing, and we have been kept from dishonouring Him by unbelief. I further notice respecting this day, that before this 10l. was received there was sent to the Infant-Orphan-House a cart load of clumps of wood, when there were neither coals, nor money to buy any.
Nov. 21. Saturday evening. The 10l. which came in yesterday afternoon is all expended. Again I have not a penny in hand. We are, however, brought to the close of another week, and have now, a little at least, replenished our provision stock; and should the Lord permit us to enter upon another week, He will surely provide according to our need.
Nov. 22. Lord's day. The Lord has been again mindful of our need, and has sent us in the means to meet the demands of two days. Besides the 1l. 10s. which came in for rent, a brother gave me this morning two sovereigns, a sister from a distance sent it., and a brother, who spent this day with us, put 12s. 6d. into the box at my house, which our need soon brought out.
Nov. 23. This evening were given, after all the money had been again disbursed, 2 gold rings, 5 small silver coins, a silver ring, 5 silver studs, a silver buckle, a pair of ear-rings, a necklace, and a little box.
Nov. 25. As only 3s. 6d. had come in for knitting since the 22nd, we were now again very poor. The boxes in the Orphan-Houses were opened, but only 1s. was found in them. In this our poverty 6l. came in this afternoon for some of the articles which had been sent from Stafford on Oct. 3rd, and which had been sold some time since. This money had been expected for some time, but came in only now, in this our great need. In the evening came in still further 2l. from the East Indies.
Nov. 26. Today were sent from Newport, near Barnstaple, 2 rings, a brooch and 4s.
Nov. 27. This morning I received 4l. from a sister in Dublin, before we were really in need; but this donation came very seasonably to meet the large demands of tomorrow, Saturday, for which there is nothing in hand. There was also taken out of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, this afternoon, 2l. 12s. 6d.
Nov. 28. Saturday. There has come in again 1l. today. Thus the Lord has bountifully supplied our need during this week, always sending the means without allowing us to be so deeply tried as during the two previous weeks.
Nov. 29. The Lord's loving hand has again today provided richly for the Orphans, for at least two days. There came in altogether 6l. 19s. 6d.
Dec. 1. Today we were so poor as to the Orphan-Fund, that we should not have been able to meet the demands of the day; but the Lord's loving heart remembered us. There came in this morning 5l. 7s. for some of the articles which were sent some time since from Stafford. I have purposely again and again mentioned how the help, which the love of some saints at Leeds and Stafford sent, delivered us, that it might be manifest that those donors were directed by the Lord in this matter.
Dec. 2. When today there was again but little money in hand, because of the disbursements of yesterday, D. C. brought me 2l., which his wife a sister had saved out of housekeeping, for the benefit of the Orphans. About an hour, after I had received this 2l., there was sent, in two post-office-orders, 6l. 4s. 6d. by a sister, being the produce of the sale of some trinkets; of which sum one half is to be used for the benefit of the Orphans, and the other half for my own personal necessities. Thus the Lord has by this donation also provided for myself and family, when we were in much need.
Dec. 5. Saturday morning. Yesterday afternoon a sister left two sovereigns at my house for the Orphans. The Lord in the love of His heart, remembered our Saturday's necessities, and sent in this supply; for there was only 18s. 6d. in hand when this money came, and 2l. 12s. is needed for this day. Evening. As there was now again only 6s. 6d. in hand, I gave myself to prayer, and immediately after I had risen from my knees, 1l. 5s. 6d. was given to me, for things which had been sold, being chiefly articles which had been sent from Stafford. There was also a flute left anonymously at my house, this evening.
Dec. 6. Today there came in still further 2l. 2s. 6d.
Dec. 7. Again 1l. 11s. has come in.
Dec. 9. Morning. This is the last day of the fifth year of the Orphan work. Hitherto the Lord has helped us! This morning there was only 1l. 1s. 9d. in hand, but 1l. 7s. was needed for the supply of today. I therefore opened the box in my house, in which 2s. 6d. was found. This 1l. 4s. 3d. I sent off to the Orphan-Houses. Evening. There came in during this day 1l. 6s. 6d.; out of this I had to pay away 1l. 2s., so that now, at the close of the year, though the balance amounts to 15l. 0s. 6 1/4d., there is only 4s. 6 1/4d. in hand, as the rest has been put by for the rent, which is due up to this time. With this 4s. 6 1/4d. we have now to commence the sixth year, leaning upon the living God, who most assuredly during this year also will help us in every way, as our circumstances may call for it.
At the close of these details (with reference to the year from Dec. 9, 1839, to Dec. 9, 1840) I make a few remarks in connexion with them.
1. Though our trials of faith during this year also have been many, and recurring more frequently than during any previous year, and though we have been often reduced to the greatest extremity, yet the Orphans have lacked nothing; for they have always had good nourishing food, and the necessary articles of clothing, etc.
2. Should it be supposed by any one in reading the plain details of our trials of faith during this year, that on account of them we have been disappointed in our expectations, or are discouraged in the work, my answer is, that the very reverse is the fact. Such days were expected from the commencement of the work; nay, more than this, the chief end for which the Institution was established is, that the Church of Christ at large might be benefited by seeing manifestly the hand of God stretched out on our behalf in the hour of need, in answer to prayer. Our desire, therefore, is not that we may be without trials of faith, but that the Lord graciously would be pleased to support us in the trial, that we may not dishonour Him by distrust.
3. This way of living brings the Lord remarkably near, He is, as it were, morning by morning inspecting our stores, that accordingly He may send help. Greater and more manifest nearness of the Lord's presence I have never had, than when after breakfast there were no means for dinner, and then the Lord provided the dinner for more than one hundred persons; or when, after dinner, there were no means for the tea, and yet the Lord provided the tea; and all this without one single human being having been informed about our need. This moreover I add, that although we, who have been eye witnesses of these gracious interpositions of our Father, have not been so benefited by them as we might and ought to have been, yet we have in some measure derived blessing from them. One thing is certain, that we are not tired of doing the Lord's work in this way.
4. It has been more that once observed, that such a way of living must lead the mind continually to think whence food, clothes, etc., are to come, and so unfit for spiritual exercises. Now, in the first place, I answer, that our minds are very little tried about the necessaries of life, just because the care respecting them is laid upon our Father, who, because we are His children, not only allows us to do so, but will have us to do so. Secondly, it must be remembered, that, even if our minds were much tried about the supplies for the children, and the means for the other work, yet, because we look to the Lord alone for these things, we should only be brought, by our sense of need, into the presence of our Father, for the supply of it; and that is a blessing, and no injury to the soul. Thirdly, our souls realize that for the glory of God and for the benefit of the church at large, it is that we have these trials of faith, and that leads again to God, to ask Him for fresh supplies of grace, to be enabled to be faithful in this service.
5. My heart's desire and prayer to God is, that all believers, who read this, may by these many answers to prayer be encouraged to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their own state of heart, the state of the Church at large, and the success of the preaching of the gospel. Do not think, dear reader, that these things are peculiar to us, and cannot be enjoyed by all the saints. Although every child of God is not called by the Lord to establish Schools and Orphan-Houses, and to trust in the Lord for means for them; yet there is nothing on the part of the Lord to hinder, why you may not know by experience, far more abundantly than we do now, His willingness to answer the prayers of His children. Do but prove the faithfulness of God. Do but carry your every want to Him. Only maintain an upright heart. But if you live in sin; if you wilfully and habitually do things, respecting which you know that they are contrary to the will of God, then you cannot expect to be heard by Him. "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me: but verily God hath heard me; He hath attended to the voice of my prayer." Psalm lxvi. 18, 19.
6. As it regards the children of God, who by the labour of their hands, or in any business or profession, earn their bread, particularly the poorer classes of them, I give my affectionate yet solemn advice, to carry into practice the principles on which this Institution is conducted, as it regards not going in debt. Are you in debt? then make confession of sin respecting it. Sincerely confess to the Lord that you have sinned against Rom. xiii. 8. And if you are resolved no more to contract debt, whatever may be the result, and you are waiting on the Lord, and truly trust in Him, your present debts will soon be paid. Are you out of debt? then whatever your future want may be, be resolved, in the strength of Jesus, rather to suffer the greatest privation, whilst waiting upon God for help, than to use unscriptural means, such as borrowing, taking goods on credit, etc., to deliver yourselves. This way needs but to be tried, in order that its excellency may be enjoyed.
On Dec. 14, 15, 16, and 25, we had public meetings, at which the account of the Lord's dealings with us during the last year, in respect of the Orphan-Houses, Schools, etc., was given, for the benefit of any who desired to come. The preceding part of the Narrative gives the substance of what was stated at those meetings, in reference to the many answers to prayer which the Lord has granted to us during the past year. There are a few points more, which may be of interest to the believing reader, and which were then mentioned, which I shall now add.
1. There have been, during this year also, six Day Schools for poor children, entirely supported by the funds of the Institution, all of which have been established by us.
Besides this, the rent for the school room of a seventh School, carried on by a sister, who is known to us, has been paid and two other such Schools, out of Bristol, have been assisted with Bibles and Testaments.
The number of all the children that have had schooling in the Day
Schools through the medium of the Institution, since its formation,
amounts to 2216; the number of those at present in the six Day
Schools is 303.
These Day Schools have defrayed, by the payments of the children, about the sixth part of their own expenses.
2. There is one Sunday School entirely supported by the funds of the Institution.
3. There has been since the formation of the Institution one Adult School connected with it, in which, on the Lord's day afternoons, since that time, about 150 adults have been instructed.
This School has been discontinued at the close of this year, and instead of it it is purposed to have a regular Evening School for adults who cannot read. It is purposed to instruct them for about an hour and a half in reading and writing twice a week, and afterwards to read the Scriptures for a short time to them, and to bring the truth before them. The School will commence at seven o'clock in the evening, and the instruction will be altogether free.
4. The number of Bibles and Testaments which have been circulated through the medium of the Institution, during the last year, amounts to 452 copies.
There have been circulated, since March 5, 1834, six thousand and forty-four copies of the Scriptures.
5. There have been laid out during the last year, of the funds of the Institution, 120l. 10s. 2d. for Missionary purposes.
6. There are at present 91 Orphans in the three houses. The total number of the Orphans who have been under our care from April 11, 1836, to Dec. 9, 1840, amounts to 129.
I notice further the following points in connexion with the
Orphan-Houses.
1. Without any one having been asked for any thing by us, the sum of 3,937l. 1s. 1d. has been given to us, as the result of prayer to God, since the commencement of the work. 2. Besides this also, a great variety of provisions, clothes, furniture, etc. 3. Though there has been during this year as much, or more sickness, in the Orphan-Houses, than during any previous year; yet I own to the praise of the Lord publicly, that it has been very little, considering the number of the children.
For the future we purpose, according to the time, means, etc., which the Lord may be pleased to give us, to attend to a fifth object, the circulation of such publications, as may be beneficial, with the blessing of God, to benefit both believers and unbelievers. We purpose either to buy or print tracts for unbelievers, and to sell them, or have them distributed, as opportunity maybe given; and to buy or print such publications, for circulation, as may be instrumental in directing the minds of believers to those truths which in these last days are more especially needed, or have been particularly lost sight of, and which may lead believers to return to the written word of God.
THE BLESSING OF THE LORD UPON THE WORK IN REFERENCE TO THE SOULS OF THE CHILDREN.
1. During the last fourteen months there have been meetings purposely for children, at which the Scriptures have been expounded to them. At these meetings an almost universal attention is manifested by them, which I thankfully ascribe to the Lord, and upon which I look as a forerunner of greater blessing.
2. During the last year three of the Sunday School children have been received into fellowship.
3. At the end of last year there had been eight Orphans received into communion: during the present year fourteen have been received: in all twenty-two.
4. Of those two who died during this year, one was an infant, and the other a girl about twelve years old. The latter, on the whole, a well behaved child, was for months ill in consumption before she died. The nearer she came to the end of her life, the greater was the solicitude of those under whose care she was, respecting the state of her heart, as she was evidently unprepared for eternity. But now we saw, what never had been witnessed in any other of the children to such a degree. This, on the whole, naturally amiable, meek, and quiet child, manifested not merely complete indifference to the truth, the nearer she came to the close of her life; but also showed much aversion, and, as far as she could, great enmity to the truth. At last she was evidently dying, yet altogether unprepared for death. In this state all the Orphans in the Girls'-Orphan-House were assembled together, and the awful state of' this dying child was pointed out to the unbelieving Orphans as a warning, and to the believing Orphans as a subject for gratitude to God on behalf of themselves, that they, by grace, were in a different state; and it was laid on their hearts to give themselves to prayer for their dying companion. The labourers in the work were sustained to hope still, and to pray still, though Charlotte Lee remained opposed to the truth while in this dying state. However, unexpectedly she lived ten days longer, and about two days before her death she was so altogether different, that we have hope in her end.
It was stated in the last year's Report, that we were looking for fruit upon our labours as it regards the conversion of the children, as the Lord had given to us a measure of earnestness in praying for them. The Lord has dealt with us according to our expectations. But I expect far more than what we have seen. While the chief object of our work has been, and is still, the manifestation of the heart of God towards His children, and the reality of power with God in prayer; yet, as we hoped, and as it has been our prayer, the Lord gives to us also the joy of seeing one child after another brought to stand openly on the Lord's side.—As far as my experience goes, it appears to me that believers generally have expected far too little of present fruit upon their labours among children. There has been a hoping that the Lord some day or other would own the instruction which they give to children, and would answer at some time or other, though after many years only, the prayers which they offer up on their behalf. Now, while such passages as Proverbs xxii. 6, Ecclesiastes xi. 1, Galatians vi. 9, 1 Cor. xv. 58, give unto us assurance not merely respecting every thing which we do for the Lord, in general, but also respecting bringing up children in the fear of the Lord, in particular, that our labour is not in vain in the Lord; yet we have to guard against abusing such passages, by thinking it a matter of little moment whether we see present fruit or not; but, on the contrary, we should give the Lord no rest till we see present fruit, and therefore in persevering, yet submissive, prayer, we should make known our requests unto God. I add, as an encouragement to believers who labour among children, that during the last two years, seventeen other young persons or children, from the age of eleven and a half to seventeen, have been received into fellowship among us, and that I am looking out now for many more to be converted, and that not merely of the Orphans, but of the Sunday and Day School children. As in so many respects we live in remarkable times, so in this respect also, that the Lord is working greatly among the children in many places.
I most earnestly solicit all who know the reality of our privilege as the children of God, even that we have power with God, to help us with their prayers, that many more of the children may soon be converted, and that those who have made a profession of faith in the Lord Jesus may be enabled so to walk, as that the name of Jesus may be magnified by them. The believing reader must know how great the aim of Satan will be to lead those children, who, from nine years old, and upward, have been received into fellowship, back again into the world, and thereby seek to lead believers to give up looking for real conversion among children.
The total of the expenses connected with the objects of-the
Institution, exclusive of the Orphan-Houses, from Nov. 19, 1839, to
Nov. 19, 1840, is 622l. 2s. 6 1/2d. The balance in hand on Nov. 19,
1840, was 13l. 2s. 9 3/4d.
The total of the expenses connected with the three Orphan-Houses, from Dec. 9, 1839, to Dec. 9, 1840, is 900l. 11s. 2 1/2d. The balance in hand on Dec. 9, 1840, was 15l. 0s. 6 1/4d.
Dec. 23. There was sent to us for ourselves, anonymously, a piece of beef, which came very seasonably, as we are just now again very poor.
Dec. 26. This morning a poor brother, who, like ourselves, lives in dependence upon the Lord for his temporal supplies, whilst serving the Lord in the ministry of the Word, and who has been several days staying with us, gave to my wife 3s. 6d., for our own personal necessities, saying, that we might need it. This is indeed a most remarkable donation, both because of the individual from whom it came, and because of its having been given just now; for without it we should not have been able to provide for our temporal necessities this day.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1840.
I. As to the church.
68 brethren and sisters brother Craik and I found in communion, when we came to Bristol.
687 have been admitted into communion since we came to Bristol.
755 would be, therefore, the total number of those in fellowship with us, had there been no changes. But
79 have left Bristol.
55 have left us, but are still in Bristol.
44 are under church discipline.
52 have fallen asleep.
230 are therefore to be deducted from 755, so that there are only 525 at present in communion.
114 have been added during the past year, of whom 47 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us, 24 besides, though they knew the Lord, had never been in fellowship any where; 43 had been at some time or other in fellowship, but most of them with saints not residing in Bristol.
II. As to the supply of my temporal necessities:
1. The Lord has been pleased to send me by the Freewill Offerings of the saints among whom I labour, through the instrumentality of the boxes L128 5s. 10 1/2d.
2. Through saints in and out of Bristol, by presents in money L100 5s. 1d.
3. Through family connection L8 18s. 0d.
4. In provisions, clothes, etc. worth to us at least L5 0s. 0d.
Altogether L242 8s. 11 1/2d.