Since JESUS passed By
Life Testimony of Rev. Ashish Bhatnagar
IMPORTANT: Before you go ahead and read, please note that all that I have ever shared is to help someone else in need or someone who has underdone gone such experiences in their life. It is written for the Glory of God. I love my family dearly and we are a united bunch in the love of Jesus.
I was born in a Christian family and spent my childhood in India . I was seven years old when my parents got divorced. At the age of seven, I stood in the witness box along with my younger brother to let the Judge know whom we chose to live with - whether Mom or Dad. The answer was obvious, "We want to live with our Mom", and the judge ordered custody of both boys to their mother. Our family moved from riches to rags. During those years divorce was a big thing in the Indian Society and days of difficulty, times of rejection came from family and friends. I was not a part of fortunate kids in terms of enjoying good material things in life, but I was content to live in whatever situation we were in. Feelings of deprivation or lack of material things did not rule my life. Rather it was being with my Mom and her love that gave me a great joy. Mom taught me one scripture to memorize from my childhood, Psalms 62:8 "….let your expectation be from the Lord" We were always encouraged to expect God to provide, expect anything and everything from the Lord. People get discouraged and disheartened when the expectations are not fulfilled but when we put our hope in the Lord, we will never be ashamed.
After the divorce during the years 1976 and 1977, my brother and I lived with our Mom. It was time of being content with the things that we had. In my wildest dreams, I had never expected that the love and fun shared between two brothers was soon to end. In October 1977, my Dad took away my brother. That was the last I ever saw my brother, I was 8 years old and he was 5. Many responsibilities from a younger age had given me a different level of understanding and maturity as compared to kids our age then. For the next 23 years, I never knew where my brother was, or what he did in his life. While the story takes a different turn for the next 23 years.
During the year 1979, my Mom got remarried. I had the privilege to give her hand in marriage. My step-Dad loved me a great deal. However, during the initial years we went through many struggles in our relationship. I was insecure and scared within yet I desired to see my Mom happy. The following year my Baby Sister arrived! This was the beginning of days of public rejection that was expressed by my step-grandparents towards me. I was considered the “outsider” in terms of their lineage. I struggle with inner hurt and feelings of rejection. On the other hand God gave me real love for my sister and I enjoyed every opportunity to take care of her. During these years both my mom and my step-Dad worked. (I prefer to refer him as my Dad *) He loved me and took care of me to the best of his ability; he imparted wisdom in many areas of my life and encouraged to follow Christ. But deep within my life there was a void. Jesus Christ did not mean anything to me personally. I had no personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. I did love God and depended upon Him but lacked a true relationship with Him.
Some very strange things happened to me at school after my mom's re-marriage. I was greatly persecuted by my teachers in the school. Teachers used to taunt me, and physically abuse / hurt me, because they wanted me to return to my Dad. Many a times my first-Dad had come to my school and would force me to leave my Mom, to which I would firmly decline. He slapped me on certain occasions in front of the teachers and ask me to leave my mother and live with him. (Such things were tolerated in the Indian society, infact there are still such things happening, probably worse)
Due to such treatment, I developed bad inferior image about myself. I felt despised, abused, and continuously threatened. At times I had thoughts of taking revenge; I would feel terribly lonely and hurt within. I had no friend - infact I was so looked down upon in the school, that no one wanted to be my friend. My level tolerance to such non-sense grew, during recess I would pray and ask God to help me. These scenarios took place repeatedly during the grades 4th – 6th. My Mom was unable to do anything about me being abused because she was helpless against the support showed to my Dad by the school authorities.
In the year 1981, I was struck with terrible sickness and almost lost my life. I was in eighth grade and was out of school for nearly 3 months. After 2 and half terrible months of sickness, I almost went into unconsciousness. For three days I laid still on the bed. It was during such a moment that I had a visitation of the Lord Jesus Christ. I saw Him standing in the midst of many angels, He smiled at me looking at me. At the same moment I saw a ray of light touched me at the same moment I was miraculously healed. I returned to school after three months and on October 13th 1981 , I gave my life to the Lord Jesus Christ and prayed from the depth of my heart and said, "Lord I want to serve You and Follow You, I yield myself to You today." This was the most profound experience in my life and the power of the Holy Spirit filled me. The Lord Jesus Christ became my BEST friend. I would talk to Him about everything; tell Him my fears, hurts, joys and dreams. I would say, Jesus I want to serve YOU! I want to be Your servant! My heart changed, I learnt about the power of forgiveness, brokenness, and was able to forgive others and rise above my lower self-esteem. I recognized that with Jesus I was something and without Him I would be nothing. A deeper level of dependency upon the Lord came within me.
However, we had no one to mentor us, to teach us the principles of the Word of God. For a period of 2-3 years, I experienced an inward back sliding and got involved in heavy rock music. But God had His hand on my life. He took me out of satanic bondage that I got myself involved in and He set me free. In 1984 during a Christian student’s conference in India , I recommitted my life to the Lord Jesus Christ.. The Lord Jesus set me free from heavy metal / rock music and a deep interest in black magic. My life changed completely. He healed my broken heart, gave me genuine love for others, even those that hurt me and my family. He put it all together, He gave me a brand new song, He picked up the pieces of my broken heart and He made me a winner. Feelings rejection left me forever, inferiority complex left me totally, and joy and confidence filled my heart.
During the years 1986-87, the Lord opened doors for me to go to Kenya and work there as a Missionary in the remote parts of Kenya . It is beyond the scope of this page to contain everything, however the ministry God entrusted me with began in Kenya in the year 1986. While in Kenya , God did something of lasting value in my life. He granted me boldness to preach and teach God's Word. God imparted the vision within me to preach, teach and equip the Saints. I saw hundreds give their lives to the Lord, repent and be water baptized and receive the infilling of the Holy Spirit. My heart was filled with new boldness and confidence about JESUS. And that joy continues to burn within me today. He loved me first, He accepted me first, and He restored me first! Halleluiah!
In 1990, I met my beautiful “wife-to-be” girl during some Christian meetings in Bombay , India . We got married in December 1992. This was surely a new beginning; God released spiritual, financial, emotional and material blessings on us. I worked during those years as a Marketing Manager for a Multi National Information Technology firm in India . The Lord took us to Kuwait from 1993-1997. I worked as a consultant and were actively involved in teaching and preaching the Word of God in several cell groups and taught in Vision Bible College for 2 years.
On November 20, 1996 my wonderful step-Dad had a stroke. Twenty Two heart wrenching days I spent with him in the ICU and on December 12, 1996 , he was promoted to glory, to be with the Lord forever. This was a great loss in my personal life. Hr loved me, gave me the love of a Father, a Man of Faith and Love, whom I love and respect forever. It is beyond the scope of this page to contain everything that I would like to share, however through all that I have been through, I learnt in my life what it means to love even when it hurts the most and forgive others, and overcome the hurts and rejections – infact, I am still learning. I wrote a statement during those years “The Chosen Are Broken & The Broken Are Chosen”
After the valley comes the mountain, so it happened in the year 2001. I was reunited with my younger brother after 24 years of no contact or any form of communication. The Bible speaks of God remembering Jacob, when he was alienated from his son Joseph. Thank God for this wonderful miracle and we continue to share loving relationship with each other in our entire family. No matter what you are going through today, just believe God and He will see you through! There is a greater purpose in life and run for that purpose and let the Lord God be glorified. If you have never surrendered your life to the Lord Jesus Christ, then you can do it right now! For Now Is The Time! Today is the Day of Salvation! Just pray a simple prayer and ask the Lord Jesus Christ to be your Lord and let His Blood wash your sins away. For whosoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved! Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth the LORD JESUS CHRIST! Amen.